Ashlee Simpson makes a kind of bitchy comment about her sister, Jessica, in an interview in the new issue of Redbook Magazine. Ashlee, 24, reveals that her older sister Jessica, 29, is “always saying ‘oh, I want a baby!’” Given how much of an oversharing, open book Jessica usually is I would think that Ashlee would realize that if her sister is so eager to have a kid she should be the one to tell the press, not her. Maybe Ashlee knows this and is trying to get her digs in at Jessica somehow. It just doesn’t sound like a friendly comment to me, especially when Ashlee says she doesn’t envy Jessica’s freedom at all, but it’s hard to tell from this excerpt I guess:

Ashlee Simpson may only be 24, but she’s got one thing older sis Jess wants: a baby.

“She’s always saying, ‘Oh, I want a baby!’ ” Simpson tells October’s Redbook, on sale Sept. 22. “Being a mom’s so empowering and incredible. I’m one of those people who believes that life brings things to you at a certain time for a certain reason, and if you just go with it, that’s where the best moments come from.”

Having her son, Bronx, not only calmed down the once wild singer-turned-actress, it also helped her mature as a person, she says.

“I’ve grown up so much,” she says. “Your body is changing, and it’s such an amazing time to feel that connection … Being pregnant was the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes.”

When asked about whether she envies sister Jessica, 29, for her freedom as a single gal, Ashlee responds: “I really don’t.”

[From People]

I don’t have a sister so I don’t have a lot of experience with this type of thing, but I’ve had similar experiences with girlfriends trying to one up me in a roundabout way. Earlier this week I heard an interview with linguist Deborah Tannen, author of the famous You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. She has a new book out about sisters called You Were Always Mom’s Favorite!: Sisters in Conversation. Callers told some really jaw-dropping stories, both good and bad, about their relationships with their sisters. One woman revealed that her sister sniped “it’s been 21 years, get over it!” when she asked her if she remembered the anniversary of the death of their sister, the caller’s twin, who perished in a car accident. When compared to that incident, Ashlee gloating to the press that her sister wants a baby kind of pales in comparison. There’s probably some jealousy there and I would bet that Ashlee is having serious problems in her marriage with emo-fool Pete Wentz, as has been rumored. At least she has a baby and her sister doesn’t, right?

Kaiser and I were talking about this and she offered this piece of insight that sounds dead on. “Ashlee is totally being passive-aggressive in that interview. There’s a lot of stuff going on in that family, mostly because Papa Joe so clearly prefers Jess.”

Ashlee Simpson is shown out at Nobu on 9/3/09. Jessica Simpson is shown in that Bride of Frankenstein outfit on the catwalk in Paris on 9/4/09. Credit: WENN.com

Yesterday we heard the rumors that John Mayer was hooking up secretly with The Hills star Kristin Cavallari, and with his ex girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. Mayer has actually been spotted at the same place and time as Simpson a few times since her breakup with Tony Romo, so to me that seems more likely. Kaiser thinks Mayer [probably wouldn't go back for seconds, but I tend to side with Lainey at Lainey's gossip, who writes that John could be doing it to stroke his malformed ego, and that he doesn't really want Jessica back, "he just wants to know that he could have her back."

John has denied half of these rumors on his Twitter account, and his tweets on the matter are pretty amusing, so we'll repeat them here. He's probably not being original, but some of these expressions are new to me and they're pretty damn funny. (These are in reverse Twitter order from oldest to newest)

Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my pen*s.
about 9 hours ago from Twittelator

I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.
about 9 hours ago from Twittelator

My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.
about 9 hours ago from Twittelator

I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.
about 8 hours ago from Twittelator

[From John Mayer's twitter]

All right, Mayer, we get it. I almost got distracted by his creative denials and forgot that Mayer is also featured on the cover of In Touch this week with a sad-looking picture of Jessica Simpson and the title “Desperate Hookup: Jessica humiliates herself by reuniting with the man who betrayed her.” Surely Mayer has seen that cover and has something to say about it, right? Unless it’s true and he doesn’t want to lie and hurt Jessica’s feelings at the same time. InTouch isn’t known for being the most reliable source, but I get the feeling that something did happen between them. Did John promise Jessica that things would be different this time around?

John is shown outside Katsuya on 8/19/09 Credit: Fame Pictures

There have been rumors about Jessica Simpson and John Mayer rekindling their relationship ever since Tony Romo unceremoniously dumped Jessica the night before her birthday. There were even some rumors that Mayer was one of the reasons Tony dumped Jessica – something about sexy, naughty texts from Mayer that Tony allegedly found on Jessica’s phone. After the Romo-Simpson split, many were surprised that John kept his mouth shut. He neither defended Jessica, nor kicked her when she was down. His famewhore side was kept in check. Which, in my mind, meant that John probably wanted to rekindle something with Jessica, or the two were already in contact. They were even spotted at a few of the same places - but they never left with each other, and Mayer’s friends denied the rekindled romance.

Now In Touch Weekly’s cover story is claiming that Jessica has had a “desperate hookup” with John Mayer. “Desperate” because Jessica is “humiliating” herself by going back to the guy who treated her like crap, I think. But I could make a case for any hookup involving John Mayer, no matter what the extenuating circumstances, being “desperate”.

Just a few short months ago, Jessica Simpson had her entire future mapped out. She’d marry her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, and start a family, just like she’d always dreamed.

But Jessica has not been so lucky in love. Tony dumped her the day before her 29th birthday in July — and now he’s already moved on with 22-yearold local sportscaster Candice Crawford, whom he’s brought to some of the same restaurants in Dallas he and Jessica used to frequent.

“She can’t believe it,” an insider tells In Touch. “She doesn’t want Tony back, but no one wants to see that their ex has moved on with a hot, younger girl.”

While Jessica’s career is going great — she’s starring in a new show for VH1 called The Price of Beauty — her personal life is kind of a disaster.

“This couldn’t have come at a worse time for Jessica,” the friend adds. “It’s opened up a lot of old wounds. She’s pretty insecure about herself.”

It’s that insecurity that has led Jessica down a dangerous new path — an insider reveals that, in a state of desperation and loneliness, she’s been secretly hooking up with her ex John Mayer, who unceremoniously dumped her in 2007 after they dated for a year.

“They’ve always had an amazing connection,” a business associate of Jessica’s tells In Touch. Ignoring her friends’ warnings that the notorious player will just use her and then break up with her again, Jessica has jumped headfirst into a relationship with the singer now that she and Tony, 29, split.

“Jessica is kidding herself that her and John stand a chance,” says a source.

[From In Touch Weekly]

As Lainey from LaineyGossip likes to point out, Mayer’s shameface when he was with Jessica was totally epic. Would John be capable of having a relationship with Jessica that didn’t involve equal parts humiliation, rage, lust, apathy, embarrassment and degradation? Is he just using Jessica for a quick booty call? Or does his silence speak volumes – that he’s serious about her this time?

There are some rumors spreading around that John has been keeping silent on Jessica because there is literally nothing to say. Janet Charlton is claiming that John has been secretly hooking up with none other than Kristin Cavallari, that waste of space reality star from Laguna Beach and The Hills. According to Charlton’s sources, “They have been hooking up secretly at a mutual friend’s house in the Mt Olympus area of the Hollywood Hills for the past two years! Our source says that Kristin was hesitant to date John publicly because she didn’t want to be added to his long list of conquests, and they were both dating other people off and on. Recently their “friends with benefits” relationship has evolved, and they are actually considering going public.” I have to admit, Kristin seems more Mayer’s type. Mayer doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who revisits old flames very often, so this scenario is probably a lot more likely.

Oh, Jessica. What the f-ck are you doing? According to sources, Jessica Simpson was asked to be a special guest model at the Ozlem Suer runway show in Paris. The gown is described as “a floor-length black ball gown with a ruffled collar.” But I just call it “some fugly mess”. Granted, on someone else it would look very avant-garde and high-fashion. But on Jessica, it looks like she’s wearing a rejected costume from some B-List softcore slasher film with a plot about Texas beauty queens being terrorized by some faceless and well-hung killer.

And the styling… Jesus. Jessica is a really pretty girl, but her beauty really hinges on smart styling. If the hair’s too big or too fake, she gives off a whiff of Jenna Jameson. If the make-up is too heavy, she’s aged ten years. If the shoes, outfit and jewelry aren’t cute, everything falls apart. The styling for Jessica – oh, no, honey. Just, no. Bride of Frankenstein hair mixed with crappy makeup. Bad, bad, bad.

I’m sure some people will mention Jessica’s size. Part of it isn’t her fault – this dress does absolutely nothing for her curvy figure. It makes her look obscenely top-heavy, when she needs to wear outfits that make her look more streamlined. Yes, I see that she’s got some “extra” hanging out top. The shoulder and upper arm is a bad, evil body part for a lot of women, so I’m not judging her.

My favorite part is the look of concentration on her face. Poor girl is trying not to fall. Sigh. When will we stop feeling such pity for Jessica?

Here’s Jessica at Salon du Pret A Porter at the Porte de Versailles – Ozlem Suer catwalk show in Paris today. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Nick Lachey has been busy since breaking up with Vanessa Minnillo back in June. Most of the stories had Vanessa pushing for some bigger commitment, considering she couldn’t shut up about weddings, while Nick just seemed happy with the way things were. Just a few weeks after Nick and Vanessa split, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo broke up, and the tabloids spent a few months trying to enable “Nick and Jessica are getting back together” stories. They kind of fell flat though – Nick didn’t seem interested, and he was spotted out with random chicas all over the place. Meanwhile, Vanessa kept quiet except for the odd report of a Topher Grace makeout session.

After their summer apart, Radar is reporting that Nick and Vanessa might be back together. They were spotted hanging out and making out over the weekend, and spectators claim they were looking very couple-y.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are giving love a second chance (at least for a night), RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.

The pair broke off their three-year relationship in June, but you would have never known it with the way they were together at the hip Dime bar in Los Angeles. Hot ‘n heavy only begins to describe it!

A spywitness at the tiny hotspot on Fairfax Avenue told RadarOnline.com: “They were making-out in one of the booths and seemed totally into one another. They were having a great time and definitely appear to be back ‘ on.’ They didn’t care who saw them.”

Another source told RadarOnline.com that Nick and Vanessa came in with friends around 11:30 p.m. and stayed approximately two hours. They were drinking and about 20 minutes after arriving started making out. At one point she sat on his lap as they kissed.

In between PDA’s with Nick, Vanessa took to dancing with a couple of girlfriends while beaming Nick watched.

[From Radar]

Meh. I know a lot of people really like Nick – and so do I – but I kind of think he could do better than Vanessa. I also think he might be kind of a jerk to Vanessa, because he so obviously does not want to get remarried. Which is fine (once burned, twice shy, et cetera) – it’s just that Vanessa really, really seems to want that, and I kind of feel like Nick is leading her on. Maybe they’re not really getting back together though – perhaps it was just a fun night between two exes who remained friendly. I could buy that.

Nick and Vanessa are shown on 4/22/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

Poor Jessica Simpson. We haven’t thrown a pity party for her in a while, but I just found a good enough reason for one. The National Enquirer is reporting (in Mike Walker’s gossip column) that no fewer than three of Jessica’s friends have admitted that Tony Romo hit on them and kissed them… while Tony and Jessica were still together. Oh… poor Jess. Apparently, it was like Tony’s “thing” to hit on all of Jess’s friends at parties – but it doesn’t sound any of them slept with Tony. Maybe they just kissed and drunkenly groped each other? Ew. That could not have been pleasant.

Girlfriends trying to “comfort” JESSICA SIMPSON post-breakup helpfully divulged that dog TONY ROMO hit on not one…not two…but THREE of them while he and Jess were still together!

One friend told her: “We were at a party when you were out of town and I ran into Tony. We were friendly, just talking. But the more he drank, the more friendly he got. Finally, he said, ‘You know, you and I should get together – Jessica doesn’t need to find out!’”

Others said Tony would get “all grabby and kissy-face,” but they’d push him away.

The girls never told Jessica, knowing she’d “kill the messenger…or confront Tony, who’d swear the girls were hitting on him, and a stupid war would start,” said the friend.

“This is tearing Jessica apart. Every guy she’s been with lately, like JOHN MAYER and Tony, have had womanizing issues. She’s picking ‘em worse, not better.”

[From the National Enquirer]

I was totally in love with a guy like this once. I mean, this guy was like my soul mate (in my mind) but he had a thing about flirting with my friends, and he even crossed the line with one of my roommates. It totally sucked – it destroyed both the friendship and the quasi-relationship I had with the guy. It’s devastating enough when a guy cheats on you – but when it’s with one of your friends, the anger and betrayal is intense. I tend to think Jessica already has horrible friends (just because good girlfriends would have told her to act differently a long time ago), but this should be Jess’s dealbreaker for friendship. Yes, Tony was a douche for cheating and trying to cheat… but good girlfriends don’t keep quiet about that stuff, and they definitely don’t kiss your boyfriend. They all need to go too.

Jessica and Tony are shown on 4/11/09. Credit: PRJ/Fame Pictures

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson is being pushed by her father, Joe Simpson, as Paula Abdul’s replacement on American Idol. We’ve already heard rumors that Victoria Beckham wants to be more than just a one-time judge – so is this a battle royale between Posh and Jess? Which one knows more about the music industry? Which one would give better advice? Actually, putting Jessica on to replace Paula might be sort of brilliant. Instead of Paula’s cracked-out comments and slurred speech, we could have Jessica’s epic malapropisms and ditzy/drunk comments. It might work!

USA Today got ahold of Redskins quarterback Colt Brennan to ask him if last week’s report that he and Jessica were dating was true. Colt says no way - but he’s sort of charming about it, telling the newspaper, “My life coach, (Redskins TE) Chris Cooley, said that I should neither confirm nor deny it. But me being an honest guy, I have no idea what that’s about.” He actually sounds half-way interested. Jessica should go for it!

In one last piece of Jessica Simpson news, Nick Lachey’s brother Drew told Us Weekly that a Nick and Jess “Newleyweds Part Deux” reunion was not in the cards:

Sorry, Newlyweds fans: Nick and Jessica won’t ever get back together. Asked at Saturday’s Los Angeles Lakers 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament if they’ll ever reunite, Drew Lachey told Usmagazine.com: “On the record or off the record? No on both.”

Nick and Jessica – who split in 2006 – recently ended relationships around the same time. Nick and Vanessa Minnillo called it quits this summer, shortly before Tony Romo dumped Jessica before her 29th birthday in July.

When told that people want to see Nick and Jessica back together, Drew told Us, “I think everybody who was a fan of The Newlyweds wants the same thing.”

Jessica recently told Vanity Fair she hadn’t spoken to Nick “in years.” But she said their MTV reality show helped her realize the importance of good relationships.

“It made me understand what marriage is, what love is, what commitment is,” she said. “In all honesty, I believe it did not affect our marriage. Because we enjoyed watching those episodes, and that will always be a time I cherish.”

[From Us Weekly]

Yeah, I really don’t think Nick wants to go there again, and he’s probably been very vocal about it to friends and family. Thankfully, Nick has been pretty gracious in public – although I would love to hear his take on Papa Joe. You know Nick has a ton of Papa Joe stories, and they’re probably all disgusting.

Update: Jessica Simpson’s rep has denied this report, saying “There is absolutely no truth to this.”

Here’s Jessica performing in Texas on May 9th. Images thanks to Pacific Coast News.

Earlier this week, we covered the report from Star Magazine about a possible Jessica Simpson tell-all autobiography. Allegedly, Jessica could be dishing the dirt on all of her boyfriends and hook-ups. At the time, we heard a little about what Jessica could possibly say about Tony Romo, John Mayer and her brief hook-ups with Jude Law and Dane Cook. I wondered if Johnny Knoxville and Adam Levine were included in this little tabloid story, and they are!

The new issue of Star has information on Knoxville, Levine and… wait for it… Bam Margera. On Johnny Knoxville: “She and Johnny hung out together a lot during the movie. Johnny was the strangest guy…. He believed in space aliens and talked to his muscles, encouraging them to grow. He also liked to be spanked and give spankings!” Dude… I’m so sorry I asked. On Bam Margera: “They drank a lot together, and Jessica will recount a number of wild times.” Christ. Does Jessica even remember enough of her “relationship” with Bam to write about it? On Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5): “[He was] incredibly sweet…They used to stay together at the Chateau Marmont together, drinking and laughing. But Adam couldn’t handle the attention that came with dating Jessica.” Haha, Adam Levine couldn’t “handle” Jessica. That’s hilarious. As for Tony Romo? Well, it seems Star has a hot tip about Romo and a full-length mirror:

“Tony liked Jessica to dress up as a cheerleader but with garter belts and stockings and high heels,” says the source. “He also liked bringing food into lovemaking, like in the movie 9 ½ Weeks. He would feed her grapes and strawberries in bed.”

“[Tony] always wanted her to tell him how manly he was,” said a source.

But both Tony and Jessica liked to party hard – and for Jessica, all that drinking packed on the pounds. So insiders say she’ll dish about how self-conscious the excess weight made her feel.

“Tony is extremely vain,” says another source. “I’m sure Jess will spill about how he’d sometimes stand in front of the mirror, analyzing his naked body. Eventually, Jess became extremely sensitive about her own ballooning figure. She thinks that was the beginning of the end.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 24 2009]

Again with the neverending debate about exactly how and why Tony Romo dumped poor Jessica. I’ve never been a fan of explaining their split on Jessica’s yo-yo weight, probably because I didn’t really think she gained that much. She put on an extra 10 or 15 pounds for a few months, and then lost it. It wasn’t the end of the world, and she was by no means “fat”.

Now Fox News Pop Tarts has another explanation – Jessica Simpson is a big lush, and Tony couldn’t handle her “out of control” drinking and behavior. Also: when Jessica got hammered, she “embarrassed” Tony in front of his friends:

Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo’s pals and Jess’s love of adult beverages.

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

We’re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and “fought for her” with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn’t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.

But in Simpson’s defense, a friend from her camp told Tarts that she doesn’t drink too much, and that there were numerous issues going on between them before Romo said his goodbyes.

“She was devastated and it did come as a shock, however,” added the source.

[From Fox News]

While I’ll buy that Jessica gets “loud and obnoxious” when drunk, I don’t really think Jessica has a problem. Of course, she looked utterly wasted at Ken Paves’ party last week, but I kind of think that was an isolated incident. I wouldn’t mind getting drunk with Jessica, actually. I bet she’s a pretty fun drunk. You know alcohol would make her say even dumber, crazier things.

Jessica Simpson is shown outside Katsuya with Ken Paves and her sister, Ashlee on 8/1/09. Credit: Fame Pictures and WENN.com

There’s an juicy inset story in Star’s article this week about Jessica Simpson’s supposed planned tell-all book about her love life. According to Star, Jessica has been cyber flirting with a player for the Washington Redskins who’s described as the archenemy of Jessica’s ex, Tony Romo! Apparently quarterback Colt Brennan initiated the relationship and Jessica is more than happy to reciprocate now that she’s single. From what Star is reporting, it hasn’t gone behind remote communication yet, but Colt sent Jessica football tickets and hopes she’ll show up to one of his games.

Game on! Jess is flirting her way to a romance with ex Tony Romo’s archenemy – Washington Redskins quarterback Colt Brennan! “This is a huge stab in the back for Tony, because the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins hate each other,” a source tells Star. “Jessica must really want revenge!” Colt, 26, began chasing Jessica back in July with sexy e-mails and text messages. The pair even set up webcams so they could chat face-to-face through their computers. And now, “Colt sent Jessica tickets for his Sept. 13 game against the N.Y. Giants,” the source adds. “And on July 31, Colt FedEx’d her a Redskins jersey. If she wears that jersey to the game, you know it means she’s playing rough!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 24, 2009]

I hope this is true and not just wishful thinking by Star. On the other hand, they make it sound like this guy is motivated out of an urge to get back at his rival, not because he’s genuinely interested in Jess. Maybe he knows what he’s getting into though, and really wants to date her. Simpson is definitely a loyal girlfriend who will stick with a guy and try to please him. There are plenty of guys who aren’t intimidated by that and find it endearing. Nick Lachey, for instance.

Speaking of Nick, The National Enquirer has an amusing story this week that Jessica called Nick (it sounds like a drunk dialing situation) and got shot down. This is pretty similar to a story that ran in Star three weeks ago, only in their version Nick and Jessica actually had lunch before Nick told her he wasn’t going to give their relationship another shot.

Giddy with excitement, Jessica phoned Nick – who claims in interviews they haven’t spoken in two years. “Nick was stunned to hear her voice,” said one insider. “It was awkward, and he didn’t really know what to say. After about 15 minutes of pleasantries, Jessica finally got up the nerve to ask if they could get together for a drink.” Then, just like Tony Romo, Nick drop-kicked her heart! “He was very to the point – and Jessica just wasn’t prepared for it. He said he was sorry about her breakup with Tony, but getting together for a drink, dinner or anything at all was not in the cards for him – now or ever.” Stunned, Jessica sat speechless as Nick added gently: “It’s best to leave things as they are.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, August 24, 2009]

I feel sorry for Jessica, but she has good friends and family and she’ll get through this. Maybe she’ll be out with a new boyfriend again before long, but I think she should wait a while and make sure she’s happy on her own before jumping into another relationship.

Jessica Simpson is shown out with her hairdresser, Ken Paves, on 8/5/09. Credit: WENN.com. Colt Brennan is shown in 2008, photo via his website

As many know, Jezebel gets the advanced copies of the weekly tabloids and disseminates them for their readers. They don’t get as in-depth as we do, but they often break stories from the print issues during their weekly “Midweek Madness” tabloid-a-thon. Since the tabloids seem to be in a snit about their online content lately, this story comes from the print issues of Us Weekly and Star, via Jezebel. First, Us Weekly is running a seemingly harmless story about how Jessica Simpson is “turning to alcohol to deal with her breakup” with Tony Romo. Their source? Jessica’s drunken haze at her hairdresser Ken Paves’ birthday party. Over the weekend, Page Six claimed Jessica’s extreme diet was what made her so drunky-drunk, but I guess we’re to believe that she’s just a big lush now that she’s had 200 pounds of Romo douche removed. Puh-lease. It’s not like she’s Brad Pitt!

Us Weekly also has something about John Mayer – apparently, Jessica let him take pictures of her naked, and now Mayer shows those pictures to his friends. I have no idea if these are recent phone pics, or if they’re old. But I do know that Mayer is f-cking disgusting. Anyhoodle, the real Simpson dirt is coming from Star Magazine! They’re claiming Jess is planning a “multi-million dollar tell-all” about her relationships with Tony Romo, John Mayer, Dane Cook and… Jude Law! Oh. My. God. Jessica could have been Jude’s random baby-mama!

Jessica Simpson is planning to write a multi-million dollar tell-all, which will spill details about her ex-boyfriends and her “love luggage” — her weight.

Tony Romo liked her to dress up as a cheerleader, but with garter belts, stockings and high heels. And he’d bring food into the bedroom.

John Mayer would talk baby talk in bed and was always begging her to experiment — he wanted her to go to sex parties “just to look.”

Jess might reveal how she fell for Dane Cook while filming Employee Of The Month “when he made her laugh so hard he made her pee her pants on the set.”

And! A source says: “She’ll probably write about one wild night she had with Jude Law in New York, and how close she came to being his baby mama.”

[From Star Magazine via Jezebel]

What’s shocking to me is that in a story that involved Jessica Simpson, John Mayer and Dane Cook, the word “pee” only made it into the Cook section. As for the Jude Law revelation – do you believe it? It might make sense. We know he’ll put his d-ck in anything. And we know Jessica has horrible taste in men. Sounds like they could have worked it out, at least for a night. Although I tend to think Jude prefers petite, boyish women, I can see him getting hot for Jessica “Look at those D-Cups” Simpson for a moment. On a related note, aren’t there a few guys missing from Jessica’s tell-all? She also hooked up with that Maroon 5 douche, Adam Whats-his-guts… Levine. Or was that an urban legend? And didn’t she also nail Johnny Knoxville at some point? I want to hear about them too!

Here’s Jess and a few of her recent exes.