Apparently, the Simpson family compound is in Waco, Texas. I hate myself for knowing that, and for being able to vaguely recall an episode of “The Newlyweds” when Jessica Simpson and then-husband Nick Lachey celebrated Christmas in Texas. Well, as it turns out, the Waco compound will be the site of another glorious Simpson family gathering, with Jessica, Tony Romo, Ashlee and Pete Wentz all expected to show up.

E! News Online is among several celebrity sites reporting that Simpson sisters Jessica and Ashlee and their significant others — Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and husband Pete Wentz, respectively — plan to celebrate Christmas in Waco at their grandparents’ house.

E! News sez: “This Christmas is a big deal, and the whole family wants to be together for baby Bronx’s first Christmas,” a Simpson family friend tells us.” Bronx Mowgli is the baby boy born to Ashlee and Pete on Nov. 20.

[From the Waco Tribune]

I’m sure it will be a nice family gathering and everyone’s probably really excited to spend more time with the new baby. But surely you aren’t foolish enough to think that Jessica could just let that news slip by without over-sharing about her Christmas plans (and coincidentally stealing Ashlee’s moment)? Jessica is pulling out all the stops to get Tony Romo… including trying her hand at baking Tony’s favorite desserts.

Forget going out on the town and partying all night in Hollywood, Jessica Simpson is going a very different route from other celebrity ladies these days: She’s skipping the club and heading straight for the kitchen!

“Believe it or not, I like to bake pies,” she tells Pop Tarts of her life at home right now. “Tony [Romo]‘s favorite is pumpkin pie and I haven’t mastered that yet. Maybe I’m more of a baker; I like to make cakes, more fattening. I make a good carrot cake.”

Besides fattening up her NFL quarterback boyfriend, Jess says she’s dedicated to making sure his holiday season is merry and bright.

“My personality is now more stay-at-home; right now I’m doing the Christmas tree and everything. I’m in Dallas and its fun, Tony hasn’t had Christmas in 7 years because they have football every Christmas and he can’t go home,” she says. “So I’m bringing Christmas to him this year and it’s been fun. I’ve been out ornament shopping and all kinds of stuff, so that’s more of who I am.”

[From OK Magazine]

Ew, carrot cake. I totally don’t get carrot cake. Cake is supposed to made from good stuff like butter, vanilla, flour, chocolate. Not carrots. But back to The World Revolving Around Jessica, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I think Tony really loves her. If he wanted out, he would have gotten out a long time ago. But I’ll add that Tony *probably* doesn’t love her for cooking.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jessica launching her fragrance “Fancy” at Macy’s South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa, California on December 13th. Images thanks to Fame.

Jessica Simpson is said to be blabbing to pals that she thinks her boyfriend, quarterback Tony Romo, is planning to pop the question over the holidays. This story is from Star, so it’s just as likely to be made up, but it sounds like something Simpson would do. She pretty much tells anyone who will listen all about her life, relationship, and bodily functions well past the point that an average person would find embarrassing. You can imagine her telling people she thinks she’s about to get a ring, or even leaking the news to Star herself with ring hints she hopes will get back to Tony:

[Jessica Simpson] is “convinced” that Tony [Romo] plans to propose over the holidays, says a close friend of Jess. He’s been dropping hints, like asking her about the diamond from her ex-husband, Nick Lachey. “I told him it was once my dream to have a pear-shaped ring, but I’d never want that again,” she told the pal. Then, last week, she noticed that one of her favorite rings went missing for a few days. “And then it reappeared in my jewelry box.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 15, 2008]

Jessica has gained a little weight, and she looks fine but there’s always pregnancy speculation when that happens, particularly from us. Her sister just had a baby and she’s been outspoken about wanting to be a mother too. It’s hard to tell if she’s pregnant or just wearing her typical bad fashion. If Simpson is pregnant and/or if she gets engaged we’re sure to hear all about it. Tony seems serious about her because he’s stuck around despite all the stupid things she’s said. Maybe he’s ready to take it to the next level, which is sure to result in more unnecessary details in the celebrity magazines.

Jessica Simpson is shown going to Mastro’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills last night with Ken Paves. Look at that pose. Credit: WENN

Once in a blue moon when Jessica Simpson hasn’t said anything stupid for a while, I get happy and assume someone bought her a muzzle. Or at the very least, she’s gotten herself some competent handlers. Unfortunately this dream was once again squashed when Jessica commented that she wants to go to college. Normally this would be cause for celebration, but few people can make the idea of slightly advanced education sound as stupid as Jessica Simpson can.

Jessica Simpson wants to head off to college to study theology – and watching TV was her inspiration.

“I’ve been contemplating taking a college course in religion,” the bubblehead told Marie Claire. “I love religion. I remember whenever the book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times.”

We just hope someone advises her not to include that bit in her application letter.

[From Fox News]

What’s awesome is you can tell Jessica thinks this makes her look smart. Why sit down and read a book when you can watch the Discovery Channel?

I think Jessica should stick to one of those classes you take over the internet. And not the good ones that are from normal colleges. The kind that come from “for profit” schools (aka businesses) that advertise aggressively on the internet and inside subway cars. They have names like Bramsoncourt and are meant to sound old and stately. This would be a great fit. I’m under the impression that in addition to the Discovery Channel, they also assign some occasional TLC and a random CNN documentary here and there. And then you get your degree.

Here’s Jessica arriving at a music studio in Beverly Hills on November 18th. I’m not sure which is worse: the idea of her going to college because of a Discovery Channel show, or recording another album. Images thanks to Fame.

OK! Magazine takes great pleasure in the fact that pop star turned country singer Jessica Simpson recently played a bingo hall at a casino in which her accommodations were less than luxurious. Her dressing room didn’t even have a refrigerator or an ironing board, for goodness sakes!

From stadiums to bingo halls, Jessica Simpson’s performance venues have apparently slid towards the less-than-glamorous: Bingo regulars at the 2,500-capacity San Manuel Indian Bingo & Casino in Highland, Calif., had to go elsewhere for their game on Nov. 13 when she performed there.

The hall’s florescent lighting, dirty carpet and fried-food odor is a far cry from the venues J-Simp played back when her album In This Skin sold 7 million copies.

“Jessica’s dressing room at the bingo hall was a little larger than a broom closet,” an insider tells OK!.

“There’s an iron, but no ironing board. There’s not even a fridge!”

[From OK! Magazine]

It could be true that Simpson accepted an inferior venue as she’s not as much in demand lately, but OK! Magazine has good reason to emphasize her downfall. It’s rumored that relations between OK! and Jessica’s dadager, Joe Simpson, soured after he promised them exclusive access to his daughter in 2005 for over six figures but then turned around and gave other magazines stories.

This January, Jessica Simpson’s people sent OK! the most poorly worded cease and desist I’ve ever read in response to a their report that Tony Romo dumped her, which he subsequently did only to take her back before her sister’s wedding in May. There are plenty of other outlets that are rejoicing in Simpson’s lack of success in film, music and her personal life. While it’s easy to see that Jessica can’t act, she can still sing when she’s not ruining it by talking. It seems people are taking offense at her poor management, which is as much to blame for her downfall as for the media backlash against her.

Jessica Simpson is shown performing on Good Morning America on 9/9/08. Credit: Bauergriffin

Jessica Simpson’s foray into country music sure isn’t going well. Her concerts are booked at D-list venues and aren’t selling well. She’s not getting press coverage for anything but her relationship with Tony Romo. And now it looks like Jessica was either banned, not invited, or for some reason chose not to attend last night’s Country Music Awards. Of course they were hosted by Romo’s ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood, so that might have had something to do with it.

Former pop singer/actress/wife Jessica Simpson just added another stellar achievement to her disintegrating resume, the CMAs’ persona non grata.

In a last ditch effort to save her career, the “Dukes of Hazzard” star released a country album earlier this year — so it would have made sense to make an appearance at last night’s show. Unfortunately, the Carrie Underwood-hosted CMAs had no time to have Tony Romo’s current girlfriend perform, present or sit in the bleachers, since they had already filled their ranks with tried and true country artists like … Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon and Lil Wayne!

But don’t worry, Ashlee Simpson’s sister doesn’t need the entire country music establishment on her side, tonight she’s performing at an Indian casino near Ontario, Calif. and we’re told 50% of tix are still available.

“Dancing with the Stars” here she comes!

[From TMZ]

Ouch. That article is quite a slam. Especially the part about how Simpson is only former things. Though they’re technically not wrong – and considering the way her country music career is going, it appears that TMZ is right and it’ll be another former on Jessica’s resume.

It seems really odd that Jess didn’t go to the awards. It’s possible she didn’t get an invitation because of Underwood, but I’d guess it’s just as likely that the CMA’s producers don’t consider her a legitimate country artist. Obviously there were other celebrities there that aren’t in country music though, so maybe Jessica has pissed off the wrong people. There’s also the chance that she was invited and chose not to attend. Perhaps she was avoiding Carrie Underwood, or maybe she just didn’t get the importance of the awards show to her future. Either way it was another foot in the grave for her career.

Here’s Jessica leaving Madeo restaurant in Los Angeles on November 2nd. Images thanks to WENN.

Jessica Simpson is still yapping on about her relationship with Tony Romo. I think the woman is physically incapable of talking about anything other than whoever she’s dating. In a way I understand it, but it makes an already shallow seeming person come off as even more vapid.

Jessica says in the past she’s always fallen for men that she wanted to save – implying that ex-husband Nick Lachey was one of them. She says with Tony Romo, he saved her.

In December’s Cosmopolitan, Jessica Simpson says Tony Romo is different from past men she’s romanced — including ex-husband Nick Lachey.

“I’d always fall for guys I wanted to save,” she says. “For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me.”

She says she wouldn’t rule out wedding the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, whom she began dating last year. “I think any person who I’m gonna date for longer than six months, I definitely am investing in something long-term,” she says. “If I get married again, then it will be the last time.

“Nick will always be a part of my life,” says Simpson, who divorced Lachey nearly three years ago. “But next time, I’m marrying the right one.”

[From US Weekly]

Obviously I don’t know the personal details of his life, but Nick Lachey seemed to have his act together, especially when compared to Jessica. It didn’t seem like there was a whole lot of saving needed. But then again she clearly knew him pretty intimately and seems to feel she needed to help him in some way. A lot of women feel that way about men – it’s why some are always attracted to “fixers.” Not that Nick is/was a fixer.

I think Jessica tends to lose herself in her relationships a bit. That’s probably why she wants to be with guys that she can save – so they need her more. She just doesn’t talk about anything other than men. I don’t expect anything of depth or consequence to come out of her mouth, but I’d like to hear about something other than “Tony/John/Nick” all the time. I can understand why she’d want to avoid talking about her acting career (ahem, “Major Movie Star”), but she can talk about her music, her family… hell even her dog would be an improvement at this point. Find new words Jessica. Please.

Here’s Jessica at Macy’s 150th Birthday Gala Celebration at Gotham Hall in New York City last Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.

The very private Carrie Underwood gave Elle magazine a rather revealing interview in the December issue. Accompanied by a stunning pictorial, the American Idol alum and top selling country artist got right down to business and cleared up some misconceptions and rumors, beginning with her alleged date with Olympic champion Michael Phelps.

It’s even more awkward when rumors emerge that you’re dating people you’re not—like, say, a certain Olympic gold medalist in swimming, as happened after the Beijing Games in August. “I never met the guy!” Underwood exclaims. “I’m sure he’s lovely. I’m sure he’s a great guy. He made America proud!” She giggles. “But I never met him, I never mentioned him in an interview, I never mentioned him in that way to anybody that I know. The only conversation that ever came up was when we were watching the Olympics and somebody would be, like, ‘How about that Michael Phelps?’ And it’s, like, ‘Yeah, he’s doing great!’ That was one of those completely, totally, utterly fabricated lies that came out of nowhere. I’ve had people for the last three days texting me and calling me: ‘Do you know Michael Phelps?’ No!” She laughs again. “I swear on everything, on my job, my house, my dog.… That’s how serious I am. It’s all just a lie. Anytime any [media source] ever says ‘a friend said,’ or ‘a close’ whatever— no, they didn’t! It’s just made up. None of my friends would say anything. Ever. About anything!”

Underwood also admits that she made a mistake when she said that her ex-boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, still calls her occasionally. The comment sent the Internet rumor mill into overdrive and had Romo’s current girlfriend Jessica Simpson on the offensive.

At the mere mention of Simpson’s name, Underwood begins biting her nails nervously. It’s clear she’d rather talk about anything else, but she submits, perhaps eager to set the record straight.

Why did Underwood ever say that Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, with whom she was briefly associated, still calls her (a comment that Simpson, now dating Romo, “laughed at” and said was “definitely” not true)? “See, this is always a tricky thing,” Underwood answers. “I don’t think people realize that when you do an interview, the magazine comes out six months later. It was just something that was said in passing, and I would never mean to say anything to hurt anybody or to stir up anything, because I’m just not about drama. At all. I might be mad too,” Underwood adds, “if somebody said my boyfriend was calling some other girl. So I can definitely see where she would be coming from. But I haven’t talked to him since, like, May.”

[From Elle]

I’ve always liked Carrie since her days on American Idol. She’s talented, gorgeous, works her butt off and seems like a real person. She also admits her mistakes – something not many celebrities do. I think the best move for her romantically would be to get involved with a regular guy who’s not in the business.

Jessica Simpson’s best friend and hairdresser, Ken Paves, had to be taken to the hospital after an accident in which he was hit on the head with a camera in a paparazzi crush. Paves and Simpson were leaving Madeo restaurant when the accident occurred and he was hit above his left eye, causing blood to run down his face.

Some of the photographs of Paves look incredibly dramatic, and show a thick line of blood as if it’s a very serious injury. Others, like the ones we have here, make it look like a relatively superficial wound that just happened to bleed a lot, as face wounds are apt to do. Hopefully he’s ok and won’t suffer any lasting effects from the accident. According to US Weekly, no police report has yet been filed. Online news reports make it sound like a legitimate accident and not like a deliberate attack by a photographer.

What really interests me is Jessica Simpson’s round stomach. I would bet good money that she’s pregnant. Her face still looks thin but her dress is puffing out in just the right place. Her sister is about to have a baby any day now and all she can talk about is how comfortable and happy she is with Tony Romo. I wonder if we’ll soon be regaled with stories about how her farts smell different because she’s expecting. It could just be an unfortunate dress choice, though – like most of her fashion.

Jessica Simpson’s absolute bomb of a move, “Major Movie Star,” must be kept under lock and key. Though the film’s been released to glorious box office returns in Russia, there still isn’t so much as a trailer –even on YouTube. Keeping something so legendarily bad off YouTube must take a lot of effort.

Today it was announced that the film is being retitled, to the even more awesome “Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous.” Feel free to laugh your ass off. It’s also going straight to DVD in the states. And I’m guessing that even given the DVD shame, the film still has further to fall. There’s always the dollar bin at Blockbuster.

Jessica Simpson’s Major Movie Star may have opened No. 1 in Russia earlier this month – but it’s not having as much success stateside. The flick will be renamed Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous, and released only on DVD in America, a source confirms to Usmagazine.com.

The movie – about a ditzy movie star who enlists in the army to earn money to pay her bills – is slated to hit stores Feb. 3. The film will still premiere in Bulgaria next month, but, as Fox News points out, it will not have a release date in any country in which English is the primary language.

Simpson’s rep had no comment.

Simpson’s last movie, Blonde Ambition, hit video store shelves after showing in just eight Texas theaters, and earning about $1,300.

[From Us Weekly]

Wow, that’s major embarrassment. I can’t help but wonder if Jess feels the appropriate amount of shame. I’m glad the studio cares enough about the American public not to inflict this supposed monstrosity upon us. But doing it to other countries isn’t very nice either.

If nothing else, at least this means snippets will finally end up on YouTube, and we can see just how truly mortifying this movie really is – without paying the $1 it’s worth.

Here’s Jessica leaving Madeo in Los Angeles on October 1st. Images thanks to WENN.

Jessica Simpson very nearly didn’t make it to New York yesterday after her plane from Nashville was delayed due to extreme rain. She was supposed to go to Macy’s 150th Anniversary party. Though she did make it to the event, Jess was pretty late and most everyone had left by then.

Jessica Simpson stood up two dates on Tuesday night – boyfriend Tony Romo and … Elmo?

The singer – who designs clothing, shoes and handbags for Macy’s – was supposed to fly from Nashville to New York Tuesday to celebrate the department store’s 150th anniversary.

But driving rain caused serious flight delays, forcing Simpson to miss her scheduled Macy’s gig singing “Happy Birthday” with Elmo.

In fact the deparment store party – which included guests like Eva Mendes, Tommy Hilfiger and Martha Stewart – had nearly ended by the time Simpson finally arrived at 8:30 p.m.

“I’m so, so sorry!” she said as she rushed into Manhattan’s Gotham Hall with her B.F.F. hairstylist Ken Paves. “[I wish] I could be God and control the weather.”

[From People]

I’m pretty sure the real reason Jessica was running behind was that she had to hunt and kill whatever animal (or faux-animal; I can’t quite tell) she’s wearing around her neck. It’s really cold in New York lately – yesterday it was in the mid-thirties and raining. So it felt cold enough to snow, but instead of peaceful flakes you get driving, drenching rain. I’m guessing Jessica wore this outfit thinking it would keep her warm and was sort of stylish, but to me it just looks like she took a gun to Central Park. It’s just a little too poufy and “I hate raccoons” for my taste.

Here’s Jessica Simpson leaving Da Silvano restaurant in New York City after a business dinner with her Princy clothing line partner yesterday. I’m going to assume this was after the Macy’s debacle. Images thanks to Fame.