After walking their first red carpet together as a pregnant couple two nights ago, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson spent all of yesterday getting photographed in NYC. I swear, Jessica had three costume changes. Which is fine – whatever farty wants, farty shall have. Jess and Eric still look really happy together. I actually think they look even more loved up now that Jessica is knocked up. It pleases me that Eric seems like the kind of guy who is going to stick around, and that he actually likes being around Jessica, although I still kind of wonder if Eric “tricked” (TRAPPED) Jessica into this pregnancy in lieu of getting a job. Now his full-time job is “Jessica Simpson’s fiancé/baby-daddy.” Which I’m sure pays well.

By the way, you know how Beyonce is more than eight months pregnant right now (hahahahahahaa)? Well, Jessica has said that she’s DUE IN THE SPRING. Seriously. Meaning late March, early April. Meaning she’s only five months pregnant right now? Those Simpson girls get big bumps early, don’t they?

Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

Aw, these are cute photos. Jessica Simpson and her K-Fed, Eric Johnson, walked the nonexistent carpet last night for the Footwear News Achievement Awards at the Museum of Modern Art, an event which honors “top shoe designers, fashion brands, style stars, leading retailers, and industry icons.” Which includes Jessica, I’m assuming, because she designs a line of footwear which sells very well.

Anyway, Jessica wore this rather stunning red Donna Karan dress which… I LOVE. I love it on Jessica. I love the dress on its own too. I wonder if this was intended as a maternity dress or if Donna Karan refigured it for preggos. Honestly, I would love to own this dress, I like it so much. Farty looks really happy, doesn’t she? She’s “glowing” – although I’m sure Jessica would say that it’s just farty sweat. I hope she is genuinely happy. I hope her K-Fed doesn’t irritate her. I hope this is what they both want.

Oh, and thoughts about Jessica wearing heels while so, so preggo? She’s said before that she’ll probably give birth in Louboutins – her heel-wearing pregnancy is much more endearing than Beyonce’s, isn’t it?

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Jessica Simpson has a new beauty line called Beauty Mint. That’s not really important, except that promoting the line has given Jessica the opportunity to talk about sweatin’, fartin’ and glowin’. Basically, it’s just like any other day. A few weeks ago, Jessica talked to People Magazine about her pregnancy glow and how it’s really just sweat:

Pregnancy has been no inconvenience for Jessica Simpson so far. In fact, she loves it.

“Pregnancy was meant for me – it really was,” the Fashion Star mentor and Beauty Mint spokesperson tells PEOPLE. “I can’t wait to have more kids. I love being pregnant. I have such an incredible connection with myself and with my body that I’ve never had before.”

Simpson, 31, also says pregnancy has been a spiritual time, too.

“Just knowing that you’re creating a life is such a spiritual thing,” she says. “Everything is growing, but you’re making a life. It’s pretty cool.”

On the flipside, Simpson has discovered not all the perks of pregnancy are true either.

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow,” she says. “And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death. I think they just tell pregnant women they’re glowing to make them feel good about themselves, because everything makes them a little bit emotional.”

Contributing to the experience is having her fiancé Eric Johnson at her side every step of the way.

“When I’m tired, I make Eric rub me,” she says. “Eric is very, very supportive. We’re both extremely excited. He’s been to every doctor’s appointment with me. We just love it. We can’t believe we get to do this, and we get to do it together. We’re going to be a rock star family!”

[From People]

LMAO at “When I’m tired, I make Eric rub me.” That just reminded me of my dog for whatever reason. He likes to have his ears rubbed and pulled. Whenever I rub his ears, it feels so good to him that he starts rubbing his head on me like a cat. Anyway… back to Jessica and her fart-soaked sweat. In a new interview with InStyle, Jessica talked about sweating again: “People always say that when you’re pregnant, you glow, but I say it’s because of all sweating you do!”

I’m not trying to say that women shouldn’t talk about these things. I sweat – I sweat a lot when I’m working out. My whole top half is just soaked in sweat. See? It’s fine to talk about. But whenever it’s Jessica and she’s talking about sweating and farting, I just feel like she’s giving her critics more ammo. I also think that she’s probably pretty gross in person.

By the way, the photos of Jessica in sweatpants – those are from her nephew’s birthday party. Everyone else looked nice in business-casual clothes, and Aunt Jessica turned up in sweatpants and Uggs. At some point, I think I’ve begun to admire her.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Before Jessica Simpson actually got inseminated by her K-Fed, there were rumors for months that she was possibly knocked up. Such is the cross to bear for every large-breasted girl who gains weight in her mid-section – people always think we’re pregnant when really we’ve just been eating potato chips and watching The Closer all weekend (cough). What was my point? Ah, yes: Jessica was a bit heavier before she even got pregnant. I think she still looked lovely, and what I always say about her is that people wouldn’t even notice when she gains weight if she just consistently dressed for her body type, which is a short, petite hourglass. Jessica always stuffs herself into unflattering, too-small dresses OR wears oversized, unflattering muumuus. Now that Jess is preggo, not much has changed, honestly. She’s still wearing clothes she shouldn’t, but no one is yelling about it because hey, she’s pregnant and maybe she’s just trying to be comfortable.

So Jessica is already thinking about what happens after she gives birth. She’s apparently thinking about how hard it’s going to be for her to lose the baby weight – so as a potential stop-gap for endless postpartum tabloid covers (“Jessica’s baby weight gain ends engagement!” etc), Jess is in negotiations to get a Weight Watchers endorsement deal.

Jessica Simpson won’t give birth until next spring, but she’s already planning her postbaby slimdown!

The mom-to-be, 31, is in talks with Weight Watchers for a $4 million deal to shed pregnancy pounds, Us Weekly has exclusively learned.

Simpson — engaged to ex-NFL star Eric Johnson — had initially intended to sign with the company to lose weight she had gained over the past few years.

“But then she got pregnant,” says the source. “So this was the perfect compromise.”

Under the contract, Simpson would have one year to use the point-counting program to “lose a signficant amount of weight,” says the insider.

She’s then show off her results in ads for the company — much like current spokeswoman Jennifer Hudson.

Despite the deal, Simpson isn’t letting her weight gain get her down. “I’m bigger than I’ve ever been,” she recently told Us. “But I want to show off my bump!”

[From Us Weekly]

Part of me thinks that this is a good idea, and that Jessica is the kind of person that needs outside motivation, someone looking over her shoulder to help her out. Another part of me thinks it’s gross to negotiate a contract for weight loss while you’re still pregnant – it speaks to screwed up priorities, I think. Just chill out at home, enjoy being a first-time mom, enjoy the baby and don’t get all stressed out about the weight loss, for the love of God.

Also: does anyone think this is an implicit renunciation of The Tracy Anderson Method? You know Jessica was training with Anderson for months before she got pregnant, and she hardly lost any weight (she might have been more toned, though). It’s like Jessica is acknowledging that she shouldn’t do the fancy, expensive trainer, she should do the more “middle of the road” Weight Watchers.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Jessica Simpson has a new, exclusive interview in Us Weekly, and I was giggling the whole way through. Part of it is that Jessica is genuinely funny, and part of it is because… well, she’s Farty McPreggo. She talks about her boobs a lot and how much she loves to wear heels during her pregnancy. I can’t really hate her because, you know, it’s like punching a kitten. Go easy on Farty!

No need to sacrifice style during childbirth! Fashion empress Jessica Simpson plans to keep on wearing heels up until the moment — literally! — she welcomes her and fiance Eric Johnson’s baby to the world.

“I’m probably going to deliver my baby in these [4-inch YSL heels],” she joked to the new Us Weekly, on stands Friday. “I went to the doctor yesterday and he said, ‘You’re gonna need to get out of those heels!’”

Her response? “I was like, ‘Excuse me! I’ll be delivering in these heels!”

The 31-year-old Fashion Star mentor is really having fun with her pregnancy style so far.

“I like wearing things more fitted,” she explained. “You want to show off your bump! It’s just so fun. You don’t want to wear muumuus so you can moo around town.”

While Simpson said she’s “definitely bigger than I’ve ever been,” she’s also “never felt so connected with my body in my life.”

“I can imagine my tummy glowing,” she gushed. “I’m already like the cheesy mom that my kids are embarrassed by!”

One thing she thinks her future son or daughter will like? Her creative Halloween birth announcement! (She posted a picture of herself and her bump dressed as a mummy to confirm that she was “going to be a mummy!”)

“My kid’s going to think I’m pretty cool!” she told Us. “This is a cool thing to welcome him to the world with.”

She waited until the end of October to announce her pregnancy because, she said, “I didn’t want to announce it before I was supposed to. I couldn’t hide it anymore… I was like my baby [is] ready to be photographed!”

[From Us Weekly]

Wait, what? HIM? So she’s having a boy? “This is a cool thing to welcome him to the world with.” Aw, Jess is having a boy! Eric Junior or Joseph, after her dad? Joseph Johnson…? Hmm…I’ll die if Jessica names her kid something crazy. She won’t, right? Jessica probably couldn’t think of any crazy names, so her son (?!!) will have a normal name.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

Now that I’ve been reminded of this, I can’t believe the tabloids haven’t been making a bigger deal of it. Do you remember that Jessica Simpson’s baby-daddy/Yalie K-Fed is a vegan? She made him tofurky for Thanksgiving last year (“it was jiggly and weird,” Jessica reported) and she regularly takes Eric to steakhouses too. Anyway, according to the Enquirer, Jessica has now become a vegan. She’s a Texas girl, and I thought she would always love her steak, but maybe she has given up meat (and dairy?) for Eric. In any case, The Enquirer is reporting that Jessica is interested in raising the baby as a vegan. Oh, and she wants to have a home birth too.

Jessica Simpson wants to deliver her baby at home, and may even raise the child as a vegan, insiders say. Jessica decided on a home birth after watching Ricki Lake’s 2008 documentary, The Business of Being Born, sources say. And since Jessica and fiancé Eric Johnson are vegans now, they’re considering raising their child with the same healthy, no-meat diet, insiders say.

“Jessica is hell-bent on the idea of giving birth naturally at home after watching Ricki’s documentary… she’d love to deliver her baby in the comfortable surroundings of her LA mansion.”

As for the vegan diet, Eric introduced her to veganism in May 2010, when they began dating. Since then, she’s been swapping steaks for tofo, and she’s reaped the benefits of a healthier lifestyle, said the source.

“After becoming a vegan, Jessica lost a little weight, her cholesterol level dropped, her skin looked better and she felt more energized,” the source divulged. “Both she and Eric want the best for their baby, and they believe he or she will be healthier raised as a vegan.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

The home birth thing, I don’t even want to get into that. I’ve described my extreme and disturbingly all-consuming fear of childbirth, and if I’m ever pregnant, I will ask for an old-school, Mad-Men-style twilight-sleep birth, and failing that, I’ll ask that they just punch me in the face until I lose consciousness. So I’m in way qualified to speak about home births or any kind of births. As for the vegan thing – well, I have my doubts that Jessica is even a “vegan” right now, during her pregnancy. Considering she chose to got knocked up by a vegan, I think Jess is probably trying to eat healthier and avoid meat more than she used to, but I hope that like Natalie Portman before her, Jess just gives in to whatever she’s craving while pregnant, and deciding on what’s best for the baby when it comes.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

In Touch Weekly and OK! Magazine both have nasty stories about Jessica Simpson and her Yalie K-Fed, Eric Johnson. Even though Jessica has just given a slew of interviews, all claiming that she postponed her wedding to Eric simply because of the pregnancy and because she didn’t want to be a “hormonal bride,” the tabloids are still running with the whole “Jessica doesn’t even know if she really wants to marry Eric” angle. I think she does want to marry him, as much as that pains me to admit. She’s getting what she paid for – a dude who will stick be her side as long as the money doesn’t run out. Anyway, In Touch Weekly’s story is basically about how Papa Joe kind of hates Eric, and Joe “pushes Eric away” and calls Eric a “sperm donor.” If Jessica is pushed into making a choice between Eric and her dad, who will she choose? *dun dun dun*

Meanwhile, OK! Mag’s cover story is all about MONEY. Specifically, Jessica’s largesse and Eric’s not-so-much, and whether Jessica will get married with or without a prenup. Here’s the story:

A fight over her fortune is holding up Jessica Simpson’s wedding to Eric Johnson – and spoiling her baby joy After years of heartbreak and humiliation, Jessica Simpson should be in ecstasy these days. The 31-year-old singer/entrepreneur is fabulously wealthy, of course, with a fashion and music empire worth anywhere from $700 million to $1 billion — and now, to make life complete, she’s aglow with her first pregnancy and engaged to a man she deeply loves, former NFL football player Eric Johnson. Ah, but this is Jessica we’re talking about, so even at this life pinnacle, there’s something to cause her anguish: Eric, who sources say had agreed to a prenuptial agreement, is now backing out and insisting on an equal share in her fortune — which is why, even as Jess’ baby bump burgeons, the couple’s wedding plans are on hold.

“Eric’s completely changed his mind,” an insider tells OK!. “He started dragging his feet, refusing to sign the prenup they’d drawn up; now he’s laying this whole guilt-trip on her about how he believes in true love and she should, too. A lot of people feel she’s been totally betrayed.”

ERIC’S HOLDING THEIR WEDDING HOSTAGE
Delaying the wedding while the down-home traditional Jessica is expecting, the insider adds, seems especially callous.

“Eric knows how important it was to her to be married before the baby was born,” says the source. “She wanted to rush the wedding so that her child wouldn’t be born out of wedlock, and she wouldn’t walk down the aisle with this massive bump. And he’s basically used that as a bargaining chip.”

“The problem is that Jess really loves him and wants to make him happy,” adds the insider. “She’s such a softy at heart, and she’s so sure he’s the one, which makes it harder for her to tell him no. She almost went through with it, too, but her sister Ashlee [Simpson] stopped her. Ashlee’s going through a terrible divorce herself [with Pete Wentz] and at one time everyone thought they would last forever. If Ashlee and Pete were still together, Jessica probably would have just gone and eloped without a prenup — but her sister’s breakup really shocked her.”

PAPA JOE IS STEAMED
Fanning the flames, pals say Eric’s recalcitrance is infuriating Joe Simpson, Jessica’s extremely protective father — and, not incidentally, the architect and manager of Jessica’s many enterprises.

“Without Joe’s approval, you’re as good as gone in the Simpson clan,” a longtime Jessica friend tells OK!. “Joe will make damn sure Jessica has an ironclad prenup. He’s not about to let some Yale grad get in on the empire he helped to build.”

Adds another source close to the family, “Everything Joe does is with Jessica’s best interests at heart. He wants her happy and to find that special someone, but she sometimes is completely blind to a guy’s bad side. Hello, we all remember John Mayer!”

At best, the relationship between Joe and Eric is tenuous.

“Joe runs hot and cold on Eric,” the friend says. “He wants what’s best for his daughter and for his business. Sometimes they don’t mesh, and sometimes he really questions people’s motives. With the whole Kim Kardashian–Kris Humphries divorce debacle, he wants to make sure Jessica is really thinking through the whirlwind romance and making sure everyone is on the same page.”

More than halfway through her nine months, Jessica has other concerns besides the wedding-prenup drama.

“She’s got a lot on her plate right now,” the old friend tells OK!. “Jessica is a bit of a perfectionist, and she’s really nervous about the launch of her new show, Fashion Star. She knows she needs a hit show to get back into the spotlight the way she was during [her show with Nick] Newlyweds. Fashion Star is similar to Project Runway, but it’s more mainstream, more relatable, which is how Jess feels about her clothing line.”

Still, the star realizes that this is a unique time in her life — you only become a first-time mother once — and she’s vowing to savor it.

“Jess is enjoying the pregnancy and all the perks that come with it,” the pal relates. “No one is telling her she needs to watch what she eats; no one is telling her what to do except get massages, relax watching movies and do things with as little stress as possible.”

“It’s a nice change for her,” adds the friend. “She once made a joke to me that now she knows why Kate Hudson said her favorite thing is when she’s pregnant. ‘You get to do whatever you want!’ ”

WILL IT SPLIT THEM UP?
Nevertheless, many of Jessica’s friends are worried about how Eric’s financial hard-line will affect the future of their relationship.

“It’s been really strained, and Jessica has random crying fits,” the insider tells OK!. “She can’t believe he’s not giving her what she wants. But at the same time, she’s totally crazy about him.”

Bottom line? “Jess wants to have the baby already and start motherhood,” her longtime friend says. “And she just doesn’t want to mess up the relationship with Eric — not when she’s this close to having everything she’s always wanted.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Jesus, that was a long article. As for its veracity… who are you going to believe, Farty or Farty’s unnamed friends and insiders? I tend to believe a little of both. I genuinely think Jessica didn’t want to have a shotgun wedding. She wants to only do one thing at a time, and right now is her time to just concentrate on being pregnant and what she’s going to eat next. But! I’ll also believe that Papa Joe and Eric are having issues, and that the money issue is probably a factor in Eric’s relationship with both Jessica and her father. You know that Eric is on Jessica’s payroll now, right? He’s basically an employee, being paid by the Farty Empire to play golf and fetch things for Jessica. Eh, there are worse things, and maybe he really will stick around.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Jessica Simpson appeared on Access Hollywood last night to talk about her pregnancy. I suppose she had another “real” purpose to appear on the show, but at the end of the day, she just talked about being pregnant and it was cute because she hasn’t said much thus far, so it was good to get some confirmations on things. Here’s the video and some highlights from not only the Access Hollywood interview, but a few other interviews too.

How she feels: “I feel great, I honestly do. Pregnancy is a friend of mine, so everything has been running smoothly. So far, so good – no morning sickness. I feel great. I’m tired, but you know, I’m making a baby here!”

Changes in her body: “[I’ve had] swelling in the belly and boob area.”

She did the pregnancy test without telling Eric: “I did the pregnancy test. I was feeling a little off. [I first told] Eric, of course. He was in the house. He didn’t know that I was taking a pregnancy test, so I kind of shocked him. I came in shaking like, ‘Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is happening!’ We both cried. We were in shock and kind of just sat there and stared at each other.”

Due date and wedding plans: “I am having a spring baby. We were going to throw something together [for the wedding], but I’d rather put more time in it and be able to really enjoy the day. When you’re pregnant, your hormones go crazy. I don’t want to be super stressed out and end up being a bridezilla! So, I’ll wait until after. We didn’t even have a (wedding) date nailed down. I’m going to wait until everything is over so I don’t end up being a hormonal bridezilla.”

No more reality show plans: “Letting everybody in on every detail of your life, that’s a hard thing to do. I feel like, for me, those days are over, but I can always be who I am on camera… I’ll always be myself.”

Cravings: She says she no longer likes pizza because it now “tastes sour” – has become obsessed with a particular fruit. “I crave cantaloupe like a crazy person,” Simpson told PEOPLE on Tuesday while promoting a skincare line. “But I put salt all over it, so I don’t know if it’s that healthy. I crave anything salty and sweet. That mixture to me is so good. I can eat a whole cantaloupe in one morning.”

On not announcing her pregnancy right away: “The stomach spoke for itself.”

[From The Mail, People & ONTD]

She sounds good, doesn’t she? She’s not oversharing (for her), she seems content and grounded and she’s not all “MY BABY!!!!!! LOOK AT MY BELLY!!!!” Could it be that Farty has done a lot of growing up? Could it be that Farty is now a mature woman who is ready to be a mom? I say that now, but I’m sure that there will be some uncomfortable, TMI-laden interviews between now and her Spring birth.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Jessica Simpson has always been farty. So much so that we named her Farty. I always make up different last names for her – sometimes she’s Farty McObvious, Farty McDumbass, and one of my favorites, Farty McMallHair. At this point, Farty is a term of endearment. She’s pretty and pregnant and not that bright, but I want her to do well and live well and prosper. And I want her to be as gassy as she needs to be, even if that means farting in the middle of a business meeting and getting yelled at by her mother. Anyway, Jessica knows her FARTY (and gross) reputation, and she’s in on the joke too. How else to explain this tweet?

[From Jessica’s Twitter]

I love her. I can only guess that she’s so much worse, so much grosser, so much gassier now that she’s pregnant. Eric Johnson is probably reconsidering this whole “Let me trap my fiancée into having my baby OH DEAR GOD WHAT’S THAT SMELL DID SOMETHING DIE?” plan.

So what’s the lesson here? Don’t stand downwind of Farty McPregnant.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

Now that we know Jessica Simpson is super-for-sure-preggo, people are wondering what’s up with her wedding. My theory: Jessica figured she wasn’t going to “beat” Nick Lachey to the wedding, so she “beat” him to babies, and she figured that she could have a completely separate (later) drama with the wedding, if she felt like it. Not that I’m saying that she got pregnant only to “beat” her ex-husband. I’m not saying that at all. I think she got pregnant because she couldn‘t figure out if her birth control pill would still work if she farted on it. And because she’s in love, of course. But mostly because of the farting thing (I tease because I love, ladies). Anyway, “sources” (Papa Joe) tell People Mag that Jessica is definitely planning a wedding – but it’s definitely going to be later than she originally expected:

It’s been a whirlwind year for Jessica Simpson, who became engaged to former NFL player Eric Johnson last November and recently confirmed that she’s expecting their first child.

“They’re really excited,” a source tells PEOPLE of the pregnancy. “It wasn’t something they planned per se, but it’s also not something they were trying to avoid.”

Still, it did cause the couple to put the brakes on planning their wedding, which will now probably happen after the baby is born.

“They’re both still really committed to getting married, and were both really into making decisions about what kind of wedding they wanted,” continues the source, who adds that the nuptials were originally set for this month.

“It’s just going to be at a later date now [because] they really want to enjoy this time in their lives.”

And despite tabloid reports that the couple is expecting a girl, another source confirms to PEOPLE that they don’t know the sex of their baby.

But whether they have to stock up on blue or pink onesies, “they’re both very family-oriented and having a baby is something they both wanted,” the first source says. “It’s wonderful!”

[From People]

I’ve wondered for a while if somewhere in that box of hair that Jess calls a brain, she doesn’t wonder if it’s such a good idea to lock down Eric Johnson legally. Like, I feel like I can see slowly processing what a K-Fed he is. But maybe that’s my imagination. Maybe she’s totally in lurve. We’ll see.

By the way, OK! Magazine had an interesting (fictional) story about Jessica thinking she was pregnant with twins. If only there was *SOME* way for Jessica to find out if she was having a multiple birth (“I’m farting twice as much, does that mean there are two babies?” Jess asks her gyno).

Jessica Simpson was thrilled to have a baby – until she feared she might have two! After all Jessica Simpson’s “hot mess” years — through her divorce from Nick Lachey, and humiliation at the hands of John (“she’s sexual napalm”) Mayer and Tony Romo (who reportedly dumped her in an IHOP parking lot) — it’s been heartening to see the pregnancy glow in the singer’s eyes as she and fiancé Eric Johnson prepare for parenthood.

The star had fun with her pregnancy on Halloween, Tweeting, “It’s true — I’m going to be a mummy!” along with a photo of herself in an Egyptian mummy costume, holding her bump. But behind the punny facade, insiders say that as Jess’ body grows exponentially, she’s ridden with angst.

The biggest stressor? For a time Jessica, 31, who reportedly used IVF, was concerned that she might be carrying twins — at least.

“That was scary for her,” says the source. “Jessica is a perfectionist and she was panicking that she wouldn’t be able to cram in everything she needs to do in time for the birth. “For instance, she put so much effort into making the nursery absolutely perfect — she even had it repainted three times! So when the doctor said she might be having twins, she had to rethink everything.”

IS JESS UP TO THE JOB?

Even the thought of having one baby is starting to weigh on Jessica.

“She’s totally freaking out” an insider reveals to OK!. “Now that she’s so close to the finish line, fear is setting in. She’s been so excited to be a mom — it’s been like a fairy tale, but it’s becoming real and she worries she’s not ready.”

Indeed, Jess has a laundry list of anxieties. “She’s starting to question whether or not she’ll be a good mom,” the source explains, “or if she’s going to have postpartum depression, if she’ll get her body back. She’s just in panic mode about every little detail.”

Fortunately, when Jessica seems ready to fly off the rails, her fiancé reins her in. “Thank God for Eric,” the insider tells OK!. “The guy is a rock. He can always talk Jessica off the ledge by making a cute little joke or just by telling her what an amazing mother she’ll be. And he has really proven to Jessica that he will be a great dad!”

[From OK! Magazine]

Ah, it looks like Farty did find out that she’s not having twins. Good. But seriously, I don’t buy that she’s panicking or worried. In most photos, she looks totally blissed out and happy, and she really doesn’t seem like the kind of person who gets really stressed out over anything.

Oh, and IVF? She’s what, 31? I doubt she had IVF. She probably just farted on her birth control and it was the closest thing to divine conception ever.

Photos courtesy of Jessica’s website & Fame.