Did you see the segment that Jimmy Kimmel put out after Halloween in which he asked parents to tell their kids that they’d eaten all their Halloween candy, tape it and post the videos on YouTube? You can watch it here if you missed it, and it’s hilarious. Well Jimmy did a repeat performance for us with Christmas presents. He asked parents to tell their kids that they were going to let them open one gift ahead of time and to give them something they’d never want. There were a lot of half-eaten sandwiches, gifts for girls given to boys, and disappointed kids. In most instances the kids got mad or upset, and one little girl was hilariously philosophical about it. I watched this video with my seven year-old son and didn’t realize that he would learn a very naughty phrase until it aired at the end. He repeated it a few times, I told him it was inappropriate, then we watched the video again. I’ll include some of my thoughts below in the format that Kaiser uses for music videos:

:44 – these kids are too young to prank like this

:50 – there’s nothing funnier than a kid eating bad food

1:00 – the battery girl is thrilled, but her sister is thinking “I got an onion, I must hide my disappointment.”

1:20 – did you see that dog eat the hot dog? That was the best part, and these kids are good sports.

1:38 – aw, I feel for that kid. “This is the worst present ever.”

1:44 – this girl is the little star of the video. She’s adorable and her brother cracks me the hell up. She gets a 1/2 eaten sandwich and then tries to explain to her mother why she’s not grateful for it, like she is for dinner. “I appreciate her getting us a present, but I didn’t know it would be like that. It’s a sandwich of mine. I love your cooking when you cook like, dinners. Like hot pockets.”

2:30 – this video is so wrong. Why would you post this video publicly after your kid screamed and cried like this? Why would you even continue taping and torturing him without letting him know it’s a joke? The kid cries to his dad. Santa’s “putting you on the naughty list! Because you gave me a stupid Hello Kitty sweater.”

3:30 – The best part is when the mom excitedly tells her daughter that a regular potato is a Mr. Potato Head. Her son tries to make sense of it. “Santa did not have those things. I saw you out at the car… Those things are not from Santa Claus.”

3:40 – someone turn off the camera for this poor kid already!

4:00 – This mom is so deadpan in her delivery. This is payback from this mom. She knows what’s she’s doing.

4:30 – These kids are old enough to be in on the joke. “Tell [Jimmy Kimmel] to suck my balls.” Oh damn! I just hope my kid doesn’t remember that, but you know he will.

Image below via Daily Picks and Flicks

Denise Richards was a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night. I had a hard time paying attention to the things she said because she was boring as usual and I was mesmerized by the glow emanating from her skin. I swear I could hear it buzzing faintly in a recurring pattern. Cooked turkey-looking Denise was promoting her new memoir, The Real Girl Next Door. She told the same story we’ve heard from her before, about how she figured out that she was surrounded by hookers and johns that fateful night at dinner at the Plaza Hotel in New York when her ex Charlie Sheen wigged out on a prostitute. In Denise’s version she’s both naive and open minded about the situation, which is how she tells it in her book as well.

Denise described her book as a “tell some” instead of a “tell all” and said that Charlie was fine with it. Of course he is, this woman makes him look better every time she opens her mouth. I’m sure it pays off for her to be on Charlie’s good side as well. She’s skirting a fine line between acknowledging that Charlie has issues and not pissing him off at all and so far she’s done that wonderfully. If only she could reach that same kind of balance with her fake bake. Denise explained “I have Charlie down, I know how to take care of him. But not that way. We have a brother and sister relationship now.”

When I first saw these photos I thought that the lighting must be off to be making Denise look that cooked. Check out the videos below though. She really is that fried.

Denise Richards on Jimmy Kimmel Part 1. Denise tells the hookers at dinner story around 2:00

Part 2. She talks about Charlie’s porn family at around 1:00. “At first he wanted me to move in with them, which was a kind invitation but I’m like, ‘this I cannot explain to the kids.’”

Here she is in June with a normal hue:

Fake bake photos credit: Pacific Coast News. Other photo credit: WENN

Comments against Elisabeth Hasselbeck start at 2:20

Sharon Osbourne never fails to give obnoxious quotes and start feuds with just about anyone who’ll take her bait. In an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last week, Sharon and her filled frozen face made some comments against the token conservative on The View. Sharon is about to star in an all-female panel-based talk show on CBS, which is how the topic came up. She also spoke out against the reality shows her show The Osbournes helped spawn.

On Reality Shows
They are so crap these reality shows now. They just get worse and worse and worse… there’s a bunch of kids that love to party – let’s watch ‘em… Why would anybody watch that? Why would an adult watch Jersey Shore?

On if her new talkshow will be like The View
F-ck no. We’re very different women, we’ve got different opinions and we’re not miserable and dry… it’s totally different… I think ours will be edgier and more real, and not so trying to be politically correct and like you’ve got a stick up your ass and you’re all dry.

On her least favorite member of The View
Oh that little blonde idiot. [faux retches]
You know what she needs? She needs a good shtupping by a football team. She needs to get some humor there, you know it’s like ‘lighten up, bitch.’

Once Sharon gets on a roll there’s no stopping her. I find her kind of tedious, and I won’t watch this new show. The show is a decent idea on paper – in terms of marketshare and potential ratings, etc. It will probably suck in it’s own way, but I doubt that it can be worse than the original. She also has a point with the “stick up their arse” comments, especially when Babs and her disapproving stare are on. Plus Hasselbeck is really humorless and she always tries to drive every point she has into the ground. Leave it to Sharon to tell it like it is. Her schtick will get old fast though once she’s on television for an hour every day. I wonder if she’ll get into any hair-pulling fights with the guests.

Look at that face – isn’t she lovely?

Last night after the Oscars and local news Jimmy Kimmel aired a funny skit called The Handsome Men’s Club featuring cameos by such attractive souls as Sting, Patrick Dempsey, a shirtless Gilles Marini (from Sex and The City), Rob Lowe, John Kraskinski, Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, Josh Hartnett, Taye Diggs, Tony Romo, Keith Urban, Lenny Kravitz, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. The bit went on way too long and was just an excuse to add cameos by countless celebrities. Every time you turned around it seemed a new celebrity was shown sitting around the ever-expanding table. The premise was that Kimmel was the head of the self-obsessed Handsome Men’s Club and was being voted out by the members for not being handsome enough. Matthew McConaughey challenged Kimmel’s presidency and then Rob Lowe pointed out that Kimmel was wearing Spanx. Kimmel countered that he looked just like Taye Diggs, to which Taye and the members objected.

The whole thing was ridiculous and was capped off in true Kimmel style with his buddies Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Affleck voted against Kimmel, shamefaced, and then Damon entered at the end and laughed maniacally, telling us we were out of time (a long running Kimmel gag). Next we saw Kimmel in bed spooning with his lover Affleck, realizing the whole thing was a bad dream. Affleck reassured Kimmel that he was attractive and was his “big daddy handsome,” at which point Ben’s wife, Jennifer Garner, popped out of bed and said “Ben, that’s enough, it’s getting weird.”

I didn’t think Kimmel could top his “f’ing Ben Affleck” response to then-girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s viral video, “I’m f’ing Matt Damon.” He did, though, sort of. It was more by sheer star power rather than hilarity, although I was pretty amused, particularly by Damon. He always manages to crack me up.

Under pretty much any circumstance, I find Sarah Silverman to be supremely annoying. I don’t find her funny, I think her “I’m so dirty and naughty and I’m just a girl isn‘t it avant-garde?” act is tired and condescending. All of that being said, the interview excerpts from Sarah’s cover interview for Page Six Magazine made me a little sad. She tells the magazine that her current boyfriend is “the first guy in a decade who’s given me any kind of compliment, like saying I’m pretty or anything.” That kind of sucks. Now I feel for her. Oh, and this bitch is 39 years old! She looks and acts like she’s in her early 20s! Crazy.

After going through a particularly awkward stretch of single life, Sarah Silverman discovered a man who isn’t her type at all – and it seems to be working out great.

Her new boyfriend, the writer Alec Sulkin, is “the first guy in a decade who’s given me any kind of compliment, like saying I’m pretty or anything,” the comedian, 39, tells the new issue of Page Six Magazine, due out Thursday.

“He’s really skinny. Usually I like pudgy, macho-ish guys,” says Silverman, who dated talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel for much of the last decade. “But I think I mistook macho-ish for strong, emotionally. And I think it’s really the opposite.”

The star of The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central split up with Kimmel for good last March, and found herself dating for the first time since becoming famous – which proved tricky.

“It felt a little isolating,” she says. “Part of the fun of meeting someone is having them discover you. You’re doing your little tap dance, like, ‘This is me!’ And then [the person has] all these preconceived notions, things that are partially true and partially not.”

Silverman also weighs in on the David Letterman and Tiger Woods scandals, saying neither surprised her. “I can’t imagine he’s the nicest man in the world, but I love ‘talk show host’ David Letterman,” she says. “I’m not looking to have him be a United Nations representative. The same thing with Tiger Woods.”

And when it comes to the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien controversy, it’s a no-brainer. “Conan was my first big break,” Silverman says. “He put me on all the time. I played on the Conan soccer team. I have a place in my heart so special for him.”

[From People]

It sounds like Sarah actually gave a real interview as herself instead of her dumb comedic persona. I also really like what she said about David Letterman, and even Tiger Woods – and I don’t think she’s alone. Those are two men with lots of issues in their personal lives, but many people will forgive them if they continue to do their jobs well. And Conan O’Brien? Well, Team Coco forever.

Page Six Magazine cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

During one part of Oprah’s interview with Jay Leno yesterday, Leno whined about the hilarious/uncomfortable incident two weeks ago on The Jay Leno show, where Kimmel basically ripped Leno a new one. Leno told Oprah: “I said, ‘No. Put it out there. I walked into it.’ You get right up again. You don’t whine and complain.” Leno said, whining and complaining. Anyway, unfortunately for Leno, Kimmel taped his show after the Oprah interview, so Kimmel had a lot to say about the whole thing (video below). Here are the basics from People Magazine:

Round Two!

Jay Leno told Oprah Winfrey on Thursday that he felt “sucker-punched” by Jimmy Kimmel – and hours later, the ABC comedian came out swinging again.

“[Leno] went on Oprah and rats me out,” Kimmel said during his Jimmy Kimmel Live! monologue Thursday night. “That’s a sucker-punch right there. You don’t go to Oprah and say that. He’s a tattle-tale.”

Kimmel added: “Oprah and I had a wonderful relationship, and now it’s ruined because of Jay.” (Click here to see Kimmel’s monologue.)

Kimmel, of course, was kidding. But in his sharp five-minute monologue, the comedian defended his recent appearance on The Jay Leno Show in which he let loose about shakeups at NBC that ultimately led to Leno reclaiming his post as the host of The Tonight Show and ousting Conan O’Brien in the process.

Explaining that Leno’s producers called him in advance to discuss the questions for the “10@10″ segment, Kimmel says that he expected to be commenting on the late-night controversy, since it was newsy – and funny to him. Instead, Leno wanted to chat about other things like, Kimmel said, “What’s your junk food weakness?”

“I figured I’d start in, he’d get into it and we’d mix it up,” Kimmel said. “You know, at one time [Leno] was a comedian. But he didn’t do that. He stood there and he just kind of read through the questions like a robot.”

For his part, Leno told Winfrey that he was taken aback by Kimmel’s remarks but ultimately decided not to edit them out of his show. “I said, ‘No. Put it out there. I walked into it,’ ” Leno told her, explaining that when you get hit, “You get right up again. You don’t whine and complain.”

But at the end of his monologue Thursday night, Kimmel had the last laugh – for now. “Watch out Oprah,” he said, “don’t think he won’t take your show next.”

[From People]

Yeah… Kimmel didn’t really go after Leno the way he did to his face/chin. I actually think Kimmel pulled his punch a little, maybe? He could have been much harsher, although I did like the whole “You know, at one time [Leno] was a comedian…” thing. Because I’ve never known/lived through a time when Leno was funny. My only memories of him are as The Kind of Cheesy Middle-Ground Joke. Anyway, here’s the video from the incident:

Earlier this week we told you about Jimmy Kimmel’s new girlfriend, a lead writer on his show named Molly McNearney. We reported rumors as far back as last year that the two were hooking up, seemingly in between Jimmy’s on-and-off relationship with comedian Sarah Silverman. Now there are new reports that Kimmel may have been seeing Molly while he was still with Sarah, which was the reason for their breakup. Oops. This week’s National Enquirer reports that Silverman is complaining that Kimmel cheated on her and promoted Molly as a result. “After Sarah broke up with Jimmy, pals say she was shocked to learn he’d been having an affair with writer’s assistant Molly, and promoted her [to co-head writer] while he and Sarah were still dating!”

Also, not everyone on Kimmel’s late night show is pleased about the couple – especially Molly’s ex-boyfriend, who used to work on the show too until Jimmy got rid of him. Sources report it was a move made specifically so he could pursue Molly.

Jimmy Kimmel’s dating scandal is growing.

The late-night host started romancing his new girlfriend, who is one of his employees, after getting rid of her boyfriend, who also worked on Jimmy Kimmel Live, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

And before he ditched Molly McNearney’s boyfriend, Jimmy and then-girlfriend Sarah Silverman used to double date with the couple, a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

While David Letterman’s own dating-an-employee scandal has resulted in an extortion charge against one man, Kimmel has a potentially explosive situation on his hands that has alienated members of his staff and calls into question the fairness to other employees of the boss dating a staffer.

News recently “leaked” from Kimmel’s show that he’s dating Molly McNearney. RadarOnline.com then broke the news that several staffers were extremely upset, worried about favoritism and one even blamed being fired on the situation.

Now we’ve learned that McNearney, formerly an assistant writer on the show, was dating a man who was also an assistant writer in a relationship that started a few years ago. The two were very serious about each other.

But, according to a source close to the situation, Jimmy had been attracted to Molly for quite some time, and moved her boyfriend off his show, in a maneuver that made it easier for him to connect with Molly.

Jimmy got the boyfriend a job writing for another show, but his actions stunned the man.

The source told RadarOnline.com: “The guy was totally shocked because he had become good friends with Jimmy and had frequented Kimmel’s NFL Sunday parties for his staff and friends at his Los Angeles home.

“Jimmy acted like a total snake no matter what way he tries to spin it – just like Letterman he abused his power by promoting Molly and everyone knows it.”

[From Radaronline.com]

Radar also has an exclusive interview with a disgruntled former staff member from the show who claims that Jimmy and Molly’s workplace romance wasn’t much of a secret and was a source of frustration for the rest of the writing team. This former writer says Molly was given preferential treatment, was promoted unfairly and was “nasty” to other writers. Ugh. Sounds like a fun place to work. It’s too bad that people can’t seem to behave like professionals anymore. People date other people from work all the time, and rarely does it seem to work out well. I don’t think this story is going away anytime soon. Wonder what Sarah Silverman thinks of all this?

Jimmy and Sarah are shown on 2/7/09. WENN.com/FayesVision

We told you all the way back in July 2008 that Jimmy Kimmel had his eye on an attractive young writer on his show. It looks like Kimmel and Molly McNearney, a lead writer on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” have disclosed their relationship in the wake of the David Letterman affair scandal. Molly started on the show as an assistant in 2003 and has been promoted to co-head writer in 2008.

Bad news for Ben Affleck!

After parting ways with Sarah Silverman, his girlfriend of five years, in March, Jimmy Kimmel, 41, has found love again.

A source close to the Jimmy Kimmel Live! host confirms to PEOPLE that he has been dating Molly McNearney, a longtime staffer on his ABC show, for several months. Kimmel’s rep also confirmed the news.

“After Jimmy and Sarah broke up, Molly and Jimmy both found themselves single, and they clicked,” the source tells PEOPLE. “They’re really happy together.”

While the relationship may draw comparisons to David Letterman’s recent revelations, the insider says, “during work hours, they keep things professional.”

McNearney, 31, who first joined the show’s staff as an assistant to the executive producer in July 2003, began writing on the show in 2006, and was promoted to her current position as co-head writer in May 2008.

[From People]

I suppose we are going to be hearing quite a few of these kinds of statements in the weeks and months post-Dave. Every talk show host on TV is no doubt sweating a few bullets hoping their past workplace dalliances stay in the closet – or, like Jimmy, they’re going to be proactive and go with the full disclosure PR plan. It’s probably not a bad idea, although this situation is a little different since both parties are single. Of course, Jimmy isn’t immune to being tempted by other women – he was married when he met former girlfriend Sarah Silverman.

This video really made my morning. A very special segment with Matt Damon aired on Jimmy Kimmel last night. Three years ago, Damon cursed out Kimmel on his show for supposedly not having enough time to interview him. The whole thing was a staged set up based on Kimmel’s running joke about Matt Damon being a guest that got bumped. Damon’s anger was so convincing that I thought he was truly angry until a lot of people schooled me that he was in on the joke for sure. Damon next recorded the hysterical Emmy-winning video with Sarah Silverman in February, 2008, “I’m f’ing Matt Damon,” and Kimmel followed up with “I’m f’ing Ben Affleck.”

It’s much more obvious that this skit with Damon is set up, but that doesn’t make it any less funny. Damon pretends to stumble in on Jimmy’s parking lot attendant Guillermo muscling in on his acting job in The Informant. The two get in a fight in slow motion “Hollywood rules” style and eventually decide to share the lead role. The humor isn’t in the goofy situation, its in Damon’s superb acting skills. He plays it completely straight-faced with just the right touch of camp.

Speaking of camp, Damon is set to play Liberace’s lover in a new biopic starring Michael Douglas. The film will be directed by Steven Soderbergh, the director of The Informant! and the Oceans movies. Soderbergh promises that Douglas really owns the role and said that “We’ve already done some costume and wardrobe tests on Michael, and they’re very, very, very good. I swear to you, Michael amazed me. He crushed it.” Damon will no doubt be awesome too. He told MTV’s Josh Horowitz that Michael Douglas joked to him “get your chapstick ready.”

MTV has a new interview with Damon in which he tells a funny story about his weight gain. Damon said that he thought he looked great when he gained 30 pounds and that when his clothes didn’t fit he suspected that George Clooney was secretly altering his suits and replacing them. His wife gently told him that it was probably just the weight he’d put on.

The Informant! is out in the US this Friday, September 18.

Here’s some of Damon’s MTV interview. Warning: the second segment includes a big spoiler for The Informant, so do not watch past the first segment (the second one will load automatically) if you want to avoid it.
Thanks to Fame Pictures for these photos from last night’s premiere of The Informant! in NY

Justin Timberlake was on Jimmy Kimmel last night and talked about his plans to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for charity. Kilimanjaro is the largest peak in Africa and is an inactive strato-volcano located in Tanzania. It’s 19,300 feet high, which is nearly 2/3 of the height of Mt. Everest. Timberlake will attempt the climb to benefit the charity ChildrensSafeDrinkingWater.com, which provides drinking water for children in Africa. He said that more children die from unsafe water than HIV and malaria combined.

On his plans to climb Mount Kilimanjaro
DJ Lupe Fiasco is among the other celebrities attending the charity climb, organized by Timberlake’s friend the singer Kenna. Kimmel read a quote from Fiasco that he would “go psychopath” and “freak out and murder everyone” on the trip and Timberlake quipped that his schedule suddenly got very busy and he wouldn’t be able to attend. He joked about the movie Alive where “They ate each other’s butts after they died,” adding “I don’t want Lupe Fiasco eating my ass.”

“No,” Kimmel agreed, “You’ve got to eat his ass first.”

Timberlake and Fiasco are training hard for the trek, which can be dangerous due to the cold and high altitude. A few people die every year on Mt. Kilimanjaro, mainly from the affects of the altitude.

Timberlake is promoting his reality show on MTV, “The Phone,” which is a live action contest type show in which people compete for $50,000. They showed a clip and it looks like they punk the contestants with shocking scenes of car crashes, accidents, and extras running around like they’re scared. Kimmel quipped that he’s going to get sued for that.

On why he dry humped Jessica Biel at the Lakers game
Kimmel showed those pics from the Lakers game in which Timberlake was enthusiastically kissing and fawing all over his girlfriend, Jessica Biel. Justin claimed that he wasn’t as much of an exhibitionist as that, but he was inspired by an open-mouthed kiss that was just shown on the Jumbotron between Dustin Hoffman and his wife. Timberlake said “I was not to be outdone [by Hoffman] so I mounted my girlfriend in front of 18,000 people.”

Timberlake’s PDA wasn’t without its regrets. “It was one of those things that in the moment I should have made a better decision.”

“You know what? Keep that in the motel,” Kimmel agreed.

The Huffington Post has the photos of Justin all over Jessica at the Lakers game and they’re amusing. The guy has a great attitude and you have to admire his willingness to climb the highest mountain in Africa for charity. That’s not going to be an easy task and we’re rooting for him. Timberlake will make the trek this fall.

Before Justin did the deed: