Joe Francis’ website, MeetJoeFrancis.com compared to Heather Mills’ website, youcare.com

In the comments on JayBird’s post about Heather Mills stupid TV rant on the media, I mentioned that she STFU and just start a website if she wanted to refute the supposedly false statements about her divorce details and shady character made by the British press. Well her sister started a website, and it’s just as confrontational and obnoxious as Mills’ personality. It’s a giant red flash monstrosity that attempts to fight tabloid fire with website fire, and will just blow up in Mills’ expensively-molded face.

Compare the design and wording on Heather Mills’ website to the masterpiece of Joe Francis’ well-designed and overly-narrative website. Francis is charged with using underage women in his Girls Gone Wild videos, with tax evasion, and with smuggling contraband into jail and trying to bribe a guard. The guy has been in jail for months, but he’s smart and he knows how to win over the public. He put out a professional-looking site that states the facts without attacking anyone. It’s too wordy and hard to get through, but he made a sincere effort even though it smacks of suck up like Eddie Haskell in a suit holding a cake.

Heather Mills goes apeshit mad on the Internet, just like in real life. Her website is designed to look like the tabloids that feed her anger, and the wording is characteristically super defensive and obnoxious. Instead of focusing on specific attacks against her, she tries to turn it into this general boycott of The Sun, as if they’re defaming average people instead of just celebrities. She calls the negative articles about her a “Human Rights Violation” in super-big red highlighted text. Even her domain name, youcare.com, makes it seem like everyone should be oh-so-worried about poor liar Heather and her widdle millionaire problems:

Human Rights Violation
There has been such a barrage of libelous articles printed against Heather that it became impossible to take action against every offending article and publication, as to pursue all of these in the courts would have been extremely expensive, emotionally exhausting and impossibly time consuming. This barrage of abuse constituted a human rights violation and has highlighted the need for greater protection of the individual in regards to their privacy in the British Justice System. Without this greater protection it seems our newspapers have become the propaganda machines of the powerful. There are however three outstanding libel actions against British Newspapers by Heather Mills.

[From youcare.com]

Get the fuck over yourself, Heather. If you would just make your skinny ass scarce for a while you could avoid the majority of the negative stories about you. As it is, you seem to get off on seeing your name in print even though it enrages you. If you didn’t have a cause to fight for, though, you would be super bored. That’s why you bait the press because you get off on the negative attention.

Check out some of these characteristics of bullies and see if it doesn’t describe Heather:

is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully’s aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as “charming” and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as “evil”; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there’s no substance

is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict

is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic

[From BullyOnline.com]

Of course most of that could also apply to Francis, but he’s smart enough to realize that you can dress it up and hide it on the Internet.

Screenshot from MeetJoeFrancis.com

Joe Francis, the head of the The Girls Gone Wild franchise, has been in jail since February of this year on multiple charges including sexual performance with a minor in Florida and contempt of court. He started out in a Florida prison, where he was said to be experiencing anxiety attacks and weeping uncontrollably. He was transfered to a Reno, Nevada county jail on federal tax evasion charges where he is more comfortable and is said to be enjoying privileges including using the phone whenever he wants.

It looks like Francis has been able to use a laptop with high speed Internet in jail, because he’s launched a massive website touting what a nice guy he is and how much he has done for charity. He tells the story of how he was jailed and blames it entirely on circumstances and other people, saying that if it happened to him, it could happen to you, an average person who isn’t exploiting women for immense profit. Joe is trying to counter articles like this one, in which a journalist details how he assaulted and harassed her and raped an underage girl, which is currently the fifth Google result for his name.

The site is ridiculously detailed, and includes 18 pages of a thorough biography in which Francis expounds on his background, including being sent to boarding school at an early age and getting kicked out of military school in five days, something he brags about.

There is a certain kind of kid who actually enjoys military school. I hope I never meet that kid. For me, the academy was a preposterous and intolerable collection of arbitrary rules and silly, quasi-military posturing. I couldn’t take it seriously for a second. When we were rudely awakened at 4 a.m. and ordered out of our bunks, I turned over and said, “Forget it.” When a dorm sergeant took a brass belt buckle I’d just polished, spit on it, handed it back to me and said, “Do it again,” I tossed the buckle back to him and said, “ I already polished it. You want it polished again, do it yourself.” I was grabbed by the neck and marched to the school “commandant” for a disciplinary meeting. The commandant ordered me to stand at attention. I didn’t hear him; I was staring at the ribbons on his chest. “Something wrong, boy?” He asked. I shrugged. “I’m just wondering what all those little ribbons are for. You’ve never been in the actual military, so what are those? Pretend ribbons?”

The commandant stared at me for a long beat. I smiled back. He turned in his chair and picked up the phone. He dialed my parents. Without taking his eyes off me, he told them that their son had just set a new school record. “No one had ever been kicked out of this academy in just five days,” he said, scowling in my direction. My response was to slip my hands into my pockets, slouch even further, and give him back the biggest shit-eating grin I could muster.

[From MeetJoeFrancis.com]

In the 10 page FAQ section, he talks about his private jet, says he wants to have children someday and gives slick answers that reveal that he plays the game well but doesn’t really give a shit about anyone other than himself:

Q: Do you really have a private jet?
A: Yes. I took my first ride in a private jet about six years ago, and found the freedom of the whole experience so amazing that I bought a Falcon jet three weeks later. The first trip I took on my plane was to Lake Tahoe. I was 27, and my buddy Mark and I laughed the whole way like a couple of giddy frat guys. It truly is the only way to fly. Nine months later, I upgraded to a Gulfstream.

Q: What part of the country has the hottest girls?
A: My experience has been that anytime you go south of the Mason Dixon line, the girls seem to get more attractive. But I don’t think it really matters where you go because how many 19-year-old girls are ugly?

Q: Have you ever had your heart broken?
A: Sure, but it helps ease the pain when you get as much as I’ve gotten in my life.

Q: What’s next? Do you have any major goals?
A: My primary goal is to have a family. I see that as my next big challenge. I will always have business goals - it’s part of the game - but there isn’t one overriding accomplishment I am aiming for. In my view, a man who raises a happy and healthy family is far more successful than a man who has only managed to acquire wealth. So, in that sense, I hope my greatest legacy will be my family.

[From MeetJoeFrancis.com]

Amid all his verbal posturing he makes some very good points in the legal section as to why he should not be in jail and how he was unfairly targeted and made an example of by the judge. The most telling thing is the judge who sent him to jail for contempt of court used to be a partner of one of the lawyers suing him for millions:

It just so happens that Judge Smoak is the ex-law partner of Ross McCloy, one of the lawyers seeking millions of dollars from Francis for the women in the case. They were both partners in a law firm called Harrison, Sale, Smoak and McCloy. Interestingly, Judge Smoak’s other law partner was Franklin Harrison, who was the attorney that represented the sheriff’s department when Francis successfully sued the sheriff’s department and won his jet back.

The thing is, this revelation is on the fifth page of a ten page legal section after a lengthy introduction. He had a good idea to launch a PR campaign, but most of his message is lost amid all those excuses and words. He should have hired an editor as good as his web designer and provided bullet points to go along with those long ass stories.

Overall Francis comes off as a pompous, narcissistic self-absorbed jerk who thinks that he can talk his way out of anything. Being in jail for over six months has only strengthened the guy’s resolve to come out and make more money. He does have one fatal flaw, though - he really wants people to like him. He thinks that if we hear enough excuses come out of his mouth we’ll all come around to his side and realize that he’s just this likable entrepreneur who got where he is through hard work. Joe can talk all he wants because he’s just wasting his breath. It’s easy enough to see through the veneer to the slimeball underneath.

He may have been targeted by a vindictive judge, but he still didn’t pay his taxes and there are plenty of other allegations of rape and predatory behavior by the guy. He is in jail by his own arrogance and carelessness, and this time he’s not going to get out of it by talking a lot of shit.

You probably already heard that Joe Francis was on Howard Stern yesterday and talked a lot of crap, at Howard’s expected urging, about the famous women he’d slept with. He said Paris gave the best BJ, and according to people who listened to the show he claimed that Tara Reid was the worst in bed because she made him wear a condom. The recap on the Howard Stern website is cleaned up a bit and just mentions that Joe said Paris was the best in bed.

What’s revealing about the Howard Stern recap is that a tired, probably high Joe references the Paris Exposed site several times and urges people to go there:

Joe claimed he wasn’t happy that the Paris tapes were released, but both Howard and Robin thought he was behind their release. However, Joe promised that wasn’t the case and was planning on suing the tapes’ distributors. Joe went on to say the man behind the tapes tried to extort him for $7 million, and, when he refused to pay that, he then released the videos. Joe also noted he owned the copyright to the tapes, so, even if they were released, he thought he should be getting money from them.

Joe then acknowledged he had sex with Paris, but denied he was ever with Lindsay Lohan. As Joe again began fading out, Howard informed him he was “a sh*tty interview” this morning, but he responded it was because of his phone connection, not that he didn’t want to talk…

Joe continued to claim he wasn’t looking to make any money off the Paris videos, but wanted to stop them from being sold instead.

When Howard asked Joe who “the best” sexual partner he’s ever had was, he named Paris. Joe proceeded to suggest people visit the Website to watch his video so they could see how “good” she was themselves. This led Howard to point out that Joe had referenced the site a number of times during the interview, which he thought was another sign that Joe was behind it. However, Joe again denied any ties to the site.

So, he name-drops the site repeatedly, which is suspicious, but that might just mean that he still wants to cash in on the free publicity and that all this went down like Paris and Joe claim. Or does it?

I did a whois on the Domain ParisExposed.com, and it was registered way back in November, 2003.

Registrar: KEY-SYSTEMS GMBH
Whois Server: whois.rrpproxy.net
Referral URL: http://www.key-systems.net
Name Server: NS1.LEASEWEB.NL
Name Server: NS5.LEASEWEB.NL
Name Server: NS4.LEASEWEB.NET
Status: clientTransferProhibited
Status: clientUpdateProhibited
Status: clientDeleteProhibited
Updated Date: 30-jan-2007
Creation Date: 07-nov-2003
Expiration Date: 07-nov-2008

Those registration names just seem to be general registration companies that cannot be traced to the real creators of the domain, and it looks like there’s a privacy block on the domain. I did whois searches on Joe’s professional sites, including his business Mantra Entertainment at Mantraent.com and Girls Gone Wild at girlsgonewild.com, and there’s no connection between the dates or companies used to register the site.

Now, who would register the domain way back in 2003 if it wasn’t Joe? Wasn’t that when he was dating Paris?

If these people acquired Paris’ stuff recently, wouldn’t they pick a domain name that they wouldn’t have to buy off someone else, like ParisHiltonsMemories.com or ParisPrivateStuff.com or something?

There is a real lawsuit available through the Smoking Gun website, in which Paris files suit against the supposed people who created this site, Bardia Persia, who is said to have paid about $2,700 for the contents of the storage locker, and Nabil and Nabila Haniss, who are said to have paid Persia a whopping $10 million for the stuff and to have created the Paris Exposed site.

If you do a Google search for Bardia Persia, Nabila Haniss, and Nabile Haniss, there are next to no results if Paris and ParisExposed.com are filtered out.

Google search for: +”Nabil Haniss” -”Parisexposed.com” -”paris” : No Results
Google search for: +”Nabila Haniss” -”Parisexposed.com” -”paris” : 3 Results about Paris
Google search for: +”Bardia Persia” -”Parisexposed.com” -”paris” : No Results

If these people were totally savvy enough to buy all of Paris’ stuff and sell it online, don’t you think they’d have some other online information about them? They created this whole slick website. If they really exist, there would be some kind of Internet history available. Also, how did Francis find out their names? There’s no name attached to the domain at all.

The main thing that blows this whole “Paris was violated” story out of the window is the fact that the domain was registered in November, 2003!

Joe Francis made his dubious fortune through the subscription Girls Gone Wild videos. Of course he would try to profit from Paris’ stuff using a similar subscription model, and she’s undoubtedly perhaps behind it too.

In case you’re still skeptical, check out the near-identical wording on the Girls Gone Wild website and a recent e-mail sent to Paris Exposed subscribers

From Joe Francis’ Girls Gone Wild Website:

Q: What do I see if I join?

A: You will have full access to hundreds of video clips, thousands of photo sets, and live video streaming. Plus, you can see exclusive web content that’s too hot for any of our regular video titles! Membership is a great deal. Click here to join now.

Looking for the Ultimate Rush? How about the hottest college coeds and the sexiest girl-on-girl action you’ll find anywhere?

From an e-mail sent to Paris Exposed subscribers:

Thank you for joining ParisExposed.com, home of the Most Exclusive Content on the HOTTEST Celebrity of our time.

The Paris Exposed Website and its alternate IP, which was mailed to subscribers on Monday, are currently down.

Update: Thanks to commentor no-one for pointing out that people on the gofuckyourself.com (NSFW ads) adult webmaster forums were talking about this. The domain was legitimately sold to someone back in November of last year, and a commentor who seems like a well-known adult webmaster on that board mentions that he’s been getting flack for selling the ParisExposed domain that he originally owned.

As for who is behind it, I haven’t yet found the thread speculating on that. There are several threads about potential affiliate programs that the commentors say seem too good to be true.

It’s also possible that the wording that is so similar on the girlsgonewild and Paris Exposed material is just common terminology that is used in the adult web business.

I’m still not convinced, and I’ll keep looking to see if I can find more information on it.

Of course the site has been shut down now by judicial order, but it’s still possible that Joe Francis is silent business partners with these guys. Let me know if you have any more details.

Now that I’ve done a little research, I’m convinced that Joe Francis is behind ParisExposed.com, which is currently out of commission. The domain was registered in 2003, and even if it was sold or whatever, who buys an existing domain when they can create a new one that’s just as catchy? Francis mentioned the site several times on Howard Stern, and the wording on Joe’s Girl’s Gone Wild website is suspiciously similar to mailings sent out to Paris Exposed Subscribers.

The captions to the photos on the Paris Exposed site were written by someone who does a pretty good job of identifying the people and circumstances in the photos. It’s easily obtained information, and the people are moderately famous, but it seems to me like they had at least some insider information.

Regardless I have some more of Paris’ journals and stuff that I may as well publish before it’s even older news than it is now. I’ve included some of the captions so you can see what I mean.

People are wondering where the outrage is over Paris’ racial slurs in both her sex video (which I’m like the only person who hasn’t seen) and the videos available on the Paris Exposed site. Despite the fact that Paris is sometimes naked and doing drugs, let me tell you that it’s really hard to sit through an entire Paris Hilton home video. They’re also poorly organized on the site, which is down now anyway. There are so many videos there that I was loathe to tackle them. I tried to make UrbanDK do it, but he had some clever excuse.

The racial slur video is up at CelebWarship.

Here are some other paris videos from the site.

There’s news that Nicole and Paris are no longer paparazzi targets. They’re so over-exposed that their stock has plummeted.