You know your relationship is getting serious when it comes time to have the moving in discussion. While it can be a little nerve-wracking (What if they say no? What if they’re mortified I even asked?) apparently that’s not possibility that’s even entered into Jennifer Aniston’s head. According to Now Magazine, when Jen asked John Mayer to move in with her, it was more of a command/threat/ultimatum, depending on how you look at it.

Dishing out ultimatums is a risky business and it can backfire. Jennifer Aniston accompanied John Mayer on his tour dates in Callifornia [sic] last month but her reunion with him in Chicago on 18 July, after a few days apart, wasn’t a joyful one.

After she arrived at 2am at the Peninsula Hotel bar in the Windy City, security got rid of all the other guests so that John, 30, and Jen, 39, could dine alone together and have a serious heart-to-heart chat about their future.

‘It was crunch time,’ a source close to the couple tells Now.

‘Jen’s told him she wants him to move into her £7.5 million Hollywood home once the tour ends [on 31 August], but John’s told her that, while he’s not against it in principle, they have to give it time.’

[From Now Magazine]

I think the “crunch time” is supposed to be the ultimatum. The way Now ends the article makes it sound like John said no for the time being. But AZ Central says he’s agreed, and will be moving in at the end of September.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are planning a “trial marriage”. The couple – who have been dating for three months – are said to be keen to test the strength of their relationship, and think John moving into Jennifer’s house is the perfect first step.

A source said: “John wants to settle down as much as Jennifer does. “What’s more, he’s been telling her that he thinks she is the one and she believes him.” John’s move into Jennifer’s Beverly Hills mansion is set to happen after his tour ends in September.

The couple are also reportedly planning a family. The source added to Britain’s Grazia magazine: “John is the first guy since Brad who has talked seriously about having children and Jennifer is very excited about it.”

[From AZ Central]

This whole thing just sounds fraught with peril. John Mayer is not the guy you settle down with. At least current 30-year-old John Mayer isn’t. He’s the guy you use to get back at/get over your ex-boyfriend. And from the stories I’ve heard, John will help you out with that no matter who you are. But he’s not the man you start picking out china with. Generally I don’t jump on the “poor Jennifer Aniston” train because I think she’s reasonably smart and not nearly as pathetic as tabloids paint her to be. But I really think she’s getting duped here, and this can only end badly.

Note by Celebitchy: I would be surprised if either of these stories is anything more than speculation. Yes we picked a very unflattering picture of these two, but it’s hard to find one where they’re together.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are shown on 6/28/08 in London. Credit: ISO IMAGES/bauergriffinonline.com

John Mayer sported closely-shorn hair at concerts in California over the weekend. On Saturday night in Mountain View he told the crowd he had a dream in which he was cheating on a significant other. E! Online says a concert-goer reports that he was talking about “dream cheating” on his girlfriend, but it doesn’t sound like he mentioned Aniston by name. She was not in the audience that night:

Concertgoers in Mountain View, Calif., got an earful of Mayer’s infidelities last night during a stop on the singer’s national tour, where he admitted that Aniston caught him cheating in his sleep.

“He was talking about ‘dream cheating,’” an eyewitness tells E! News. “He apparently made out with some chick in his dreams.”

And what price did Mayer have to pay to his famous squeeze?

“He had to do his penance to his girlfriend by singing ‘Dreaming with a Broken Heart,’” the onlooker tells us.

[From E! Online]

Last night Aniston did go to Mayer’s concert in Irvine, though, where he made a reference to being home and sleeping in his own bed that night. He didn’t say much else, though, telling the crowd there would be “more music” and “less talk,” according to People.com. Maybe he was conscious of his slight overshare the night before.

John looks pretty good with less hair, and it sounds like he’s trying to talk less smack too. Both are a welcome change.

Star Magazine has a new story this week that Aniston is being “clingy” and doesn’t “take her hands off” Mayer, and that her needy ways are driving him away. They tell a story about his performance in London on June 28 in which “Jen was all over him [backstage] and wouldn’t let him greet any of his fans, especially the female ones. You could tell John was uncomfortable.” Star seems to be basing their story primarily on the photos of John and Jen together, which do tend to show Jen reaching out for John while he seems reluctant. They claim “John’s weirded out by Jen’s constant need for PDAs.” I don’t think Star has any insider information, but they might be right. It doesn’t seem like these two are much more than a summer fling, but part of me hopes they’ll last and get married. It seems so unlikely, but they make a pretty unique couple and I’d like them to turn into something solid – if only for how interesting it would be.

John Mayer is shown performing in Irvine, CA yesterday. Credit: Aaron D. Settipane/WENN

Yesterday In Touch ran a story that we were about to cover which claimed that an American journalist in Amsterdam was hit on by John Mayer in a “coffee shop” there. According to In Touch, she recognized him but didn’t let on that she knew who he was. When she asked him what his relationship status was, he said “it’s vague.” This would mean that Mayer isn’t hesitating to hit on other women while he’s away on tour and that he’s either no longer with Jennifer Aniston or is cheating on her. The woman Mayer supposedly talked to says it’s not true, though, and that she did meet him but it was like a year ago. In Touch mentioned her by name, and she says she’s really upset they did that and that the distorted the story so much. Chaton Anderson has a friend at In Touch and says that’s how this story got started, but that the result was a near complete fabrication:

The magazine claims in a story titled “Jen’s Betrayed Again” that Mayer, 30, got “very flirty” with Chaton Anderson, 32, in Amsterdam on June 20. The magazine reports that Mayer described his “relationship status” as “very vague” and that he maintained “very intense” eye-contact during a two-hour conversation.

“None of this is true,” Anderson told Us from her home in Manhattan Beach, CA on Wednesday.

“I met John Mayer almost a year ago,” she explained. “I don’t understand why they’ve said it was this year.

“Nothing happened anyway – nothing at all,” she added. “I just met him briefly and he said, ‘Hello, I’m John,’ and that was it! It was just groups of people in a coffee shop.”

A rep for Mayer also told Us: “The In Touch story is false.”

The origin of In Touch’s story?

Anderson says she told a friend who works at the tabloid that she met Mayer “a long time ago” – and the story was fabricated from there. She says she had no idea she would even be appearing in the magazine.

[From US Weekly]

The thing is, if In Touch didn’t mention this other woman by name she probably wouldn’t even know the story was based on the brief time she met Mayer when he wasn’t even flirting with her. All we would have would be a denial by Mayer’s rep and I know I would be shaking my head and assuming he did this. It’s a much-needed lesson in how the tabloids make up fake stories. Think of how many other times this happens that we’re never privy to the origins of the fake story.

John Mayer is shown out shopping on 7/16/08. Credit: Splash News.

I’ve always felt that one of the most important lies you tell in a relationship is that you’ve only ever loved/cared about the person you’re with right then. Sure we all know the other person has been with people before us – but the polite thing to do is act like you’ve never even known love or passion until this particular partner came along. That’s my number one ingredient for a healthy relationship. And it’s worked very unsuccessfully so far.

But imagine you’re Jennifer Aniston. Sure, you’ve been with your fair share of guys, but nothing particularly odd in either direction. Then you fall for John Mayer and follow him around the world like a professional groupie. How in the world do you pretend that he hasn’t been with scads of random chicks? Especially when you find their old love letters hidden in his guitar case?

John Mayer can’t keep those pesky ex-es away. His girlfriend Jennifer Aniston found “a batch” of love letters from his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson in his guitar case. “Jennifer was more hurt than angry at the discovery,” said a source. “The letters surprisingly were very touching and well written.” Aniston appeared to be fine after Mayer smoothed things over. Her rep called the tale “completely fabricated.”

[From the New York Post]

I don’t believe anything PR reps say anymore; and I’d much prefer to believe this story is true. The only reason I kinda sorta believe Jen’s rep is that the Post’s source claims that Jessica Simpson was able to write well. Of course they meant surprising for Jessica… that could mean anything. It could be anywhere from “less dumb” to “mediocre.”

If the story is true, I can understand why that would hurt Jen. The fact that the letters were hidden indicates that John knew they’d be upsetting and/or he shouldn’t still have them (at least as far as a new girl would be concerned). It really destroys any bit of that “I’ve never loved anyone but you” facade that’s so nice to put up. But then again, we’re talking about a guy that’s openly admitted to sleeping with his fans in the past. Nothing should really be a surprise anymore.

Here’s John and Jessica back when they were dating in 2007. Header of Jennifer Aniston leaving the Waverly Inn restaurant in New York City after having dinner with John on May 14th. Images thanks to WENN.

While John Mayer is generally considered to be a douchbagging cad, I do enjoy the way he teases the paparazzi. He doesn’t freak out at them or curse them like a lot of celebs, and he doesn’t desperately court them like Paris Hilton or a few others I won’t name. But he sure knows how to stay in the papers. My favorite was when he wore the Borat tankini and read a copy of Us Weekly. And later when he mounted a sunbather and massaged him.

Stuff like that makes me think I’d really like the guy if he weren’t constantly macking on anything with two legs and two nipples. That’s right, I said macking. I went there. Oh and nipples. But I try to write that at least three times a day.

John had some funny commentary at his concert last night in St. Louis. Both People and Us Weekly were in the audience, prompting Mayer to give them some good gossip. Just not the kind they were planning on.

“[Fans] send me links from PEOPLE,” he said, marveling at the coverage of his remarks the previous night when he – with Aniston in tow – joked about being the subject of Internet rumors. “That just tempts me to say things.” The audience at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in the St. Louis suburb of Maryland Heights roared its approval, but Mayer would not divulge any intimate details.

Instead, he playfully peppered his nearly two-hour concert with dubious confessions designed to feed those who were curious about his private life: He fears the color green. He weighed 400 pounds when he was 12. He wrote the lyrics to the Kenny Loggins hit “Danger Zone” – at age 9. And he was “33 percent done” with building a time machine.

“When I was a child I would kill small animals and wear their teeth as necklaces,” he deadpanned. “True. Print that. And I’ve always felt deep down that I was born a woman.”

[From People]

Okay that is the second time Kenny Loggins has been mentioned on Celebitchy in under a week. I think this means he’s making a comeback, Hall & Oates style. Or at least I’m rooting for one. That’s definitely my favorite piece of previously unknown – and 100% true – John Mayer gossip. Though that thing about fearing the color green – that’s probably because he saw pictures of himself in the Borat suit. That’d make me fear green too.

Here’s John Mayer performing at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset, England on June 29th. I tried to get one without him making a weird face, but it’s pretty much impossible. Photographer: Nick Pickles; Images thanks to WENN.

I don’t really like jumping on the “Jennifer Aniston is so desperate/needy/pathetic/insecure” train. People seem to either love her or think she’s an absolute wreck, and apparently I’m one of only 12 people that are in between. All that said, everyone has moments of irrationality… and Jen had a pretty public one the other night. While backstage at boyfriend John Mayer’s Hard Rock Calling gig in London’s Hyde Park, Aniston spied Kimberly Stewart hanging out. Kim’s the daughter of Rod Stewart and is generally known for… um… hanging out.

According to the Mirror, Aniston ordered Kim banished from the backstage area – and Kim refused to listen.

John clearly has a bit of history with the model as all hell broke loose when clingy Jen spotted 28-year-old Kim backstage while John was warming up. Ever the gent, John tried to defuse the situation by getting his security to boot out Kim. And as the bouncers chased after Kim, Jen, 39, eyeballed her rival to warn her off John.

Our spy says: “Jennifer spotted Kimberly and asked John what she was doing there. John and Kim know each other from clubbing in LA, but Jennifer doesn’t want anyone around who reminds her that he used to be a player.”

But Kim wasn’t giving up without a fight… Ten minutes after being told to leave, she was on the side of the stage, waving at John and cheekily catching Jennifer’s eye while she was taking photos of her fella. We hear: “She had been told twice by security that she would be removed but she stood there bold as brass. Jennifer was on the opposite side of the stage and John felt like piggy-in-the-middle. He saw the tension and told his bouncers to get rid of her at all costs.

“Kim was pulled off the stage and escorted through the Hard Rock VIP tent with a face like thunder, shouting: ‘Why doesn’t he want me here? Is this because of her?’ “She totally embarrassed herself, but Jen looked relieved.”

[From the Mirror]

Wow. I don’t think anyone came out of that situation looking good. Aniston looks jealous and crazy, Stewart looks like a pathetic moron for sticking around until she was forced about by security, and Mayer looks whipped. Although frankly, that’s not really the worst situation for him to be in, considering the way he seems to use and go through women.

The whole thing about Jen not wanted to be “reminded” about what a player John used to be does cause a bit of worry. It makes it sound like she thinks she’s tamed him. I don’t think any woman should believe that about John Mayer. I swear to God if I’d been married to the guy for 60 years, I’d still be a little worried. Given his history, I understand Jen’s paranoia.

Here’s John Mayer performing live at ‘Hard Rock Calling’ in Hyde Park, London on June 28th. Gotta love that performing face. Photographer: Daniela D’Amato. Header photo of Jennifer at LAX airport on June 21st; Photographer: Craig Williams. Kimberly Stewart at the Glamour Women Of The Year Awards in London on June 3rd; Photographer: Vince Maher. Images thanks to WENN.

Jennifer Aniston has flown to the UK to be with her new boyfriend John Mayer while he’s on tour. Mayer performs in Birmingham tomorrow and has four more dates in the UK this week before he’s scheduled to start his US tour in July. Bang! showbiz reports that Aniston was seen arriving at Heathrow airport this morning.

Aniston, 39, has introduced Mayer, 30, to her former costar and best friend Courteney Cox and her husband, David Arquette. The two had dinner at Courteney and David’s house early this month and were also spotted out at a restaurant with them. Aniston and Mayer went public with their relationship at an event on June 12. They took a private jet to Mexico the next day and enjoyed a vacation at Joe Francis’ estate in Punta Mita.

Another sign that they’re getting serious is the fact that she supposedly introduced him to her dad, according to Star Magazine. Star also says that Aniston accidentally proposed to Mayer, so take this for what is is. They do have an actual date for the meeting, which makes it seem like it could be true:

Former Days of Our Lives star John Aniston, 74, suffered a heart attack in the summer of 2006 and “Jen worried about her dad and likes to check in,” a source explains. And during a June 1 visit, she brought her new man. “They had a pleasant time. They talked about music. Jen was happy with the results – she said her dad really liked John.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, June 30, 2008]

And here’s the bs part where Jen proposed to John by mistake:

“Things have been going so amazingly well between Jen and John, she just feels like it’s right,” an insider reveals. “They’re already saying ‘I love you,’ to each other.”

And during a recent romantic stroll on the beach in Malibu, “the words ‘I want to marry you’ just tumbled out of Jen’s mouth,” the source adds! But the impromptu proposal was met with an uncomfortable silence. “Unfortunately for Jen,” the source explains, “John doesn’t share her desire to get married so quickly!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, June 30, 2008]

I know that’s not true, but it’s such a good fake story that I couldn’t resist repeating it.

Jennifer Aniston is shown at LAX yesterday, thanks to WENN.

Driven by a misquoted Rolling Stone interview, false rumors have been circulating that John Mayer called fans of the wildly popular videogame, Guitar Hero, “Fake Wannabes.” While some websites are using the quote as attributed to Mayer, no such quote could be found in the interview.

Here is how Mayer responded when asked about playing guitar hero:

“I don’t ever want to be the kind of guy who rails against whatever progress has taken place. But Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there’s nothing like really playing guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?”

[From Rolling Stone.com]

Clearly Mayer recognizes the fun in playing Guitar Hero, but is pointing out that the investment in practicing real guitar leads to a whole different experience. Guitar Hero is a game, playing guitar well is an art from. Mayer’s take here seems fair enough: don’t confuse a game that simulates an experience with the real thing.

Mayer does not, like some websites are reporting, dis fans of the game by calling them posers or wannabees. But maybe he should have. While playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band can be a great party game, we all know a guy who has a few too many beers and monopolizes the TV for hours, convinced that tapping colored buttons on a plastic toy in time to a cartoon is his ticket to rock stardom. You know the guy we are talking about. And if he puts on a mask and coveralls to play Slipknot’s “Before I Forget,” Celebitchy recommends intense psychotherapy.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here’s John Mayer getting pulled over on Tuesday for driving with expired tags on his car and no license plates, thanks to WENN.

John Mayer is photographed hugging another woman at Courtney Cox’s house

John Mayer has met the parents. But since Jennifer Aniston doesn’t really talk to her parents (or her mother anyway), Mayer met Jen’s equivalent: BFF Courteney Cox and husband David Arquette. As was reportedly the plan according to Mike Walker of the National Enquirer, Cox had Mayer and Aniston over for dinner, as her way of welcoming him into their group of friends/officially evaluating him.

Jennifer Aniston’s burgeoning romance with singer John Mayer must be getting serious – she’s introduced him to her best friend Courteney Cox. After taking their cross-State romance from Miami to New York, Aniston and Mayer made their Los Angeles debut as a couple with a laid-back romantic weekend. On Sunday, Mayer drove his new girlfriend to the beachside Malibu home of her closest pal and ex-Friends co-star Cox and her husband David Arquette for an evening dinner. Complimenting her new boyfriend’s laid back style, Aniston sported a white vest and blue cardigan with sunglasses as they enjoyed the sunny day.

Cox, 43, is said to be very protective of Aniston, who she supported following her high-profile marriage split with Brad Pitt in 2005. The Dirt actress was rumoured to have disapproved of Aniston’s last long-term boyfriend Vince Vaughn, who she dated for 18 months before splitting in December 2006.

On Saturday night, Aniston and Mayer enjoyed an intimate meal at the exclusive Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, before the tattooed rocker drove them home to the actress’ mansion in the Hollywood hills. The following day, Mayer took the steering wheel again as they rode in his Porsche Cayenne Turbo to the Cox-Arquettes’ gated beachside home, where they live with their young daughter Coco, who is Aniston’s goddaughter.

[From the Daily Mail]

According to the Enquirer, Mayer was fairly nervous about meeting Cox, and was well aware that it was Aniston’s equivalent of meeting her family. Apparently Courteney is quite the mother hen. Which is sweet, since Jen isn’t close with her family – but doesn’t help their reputation of being overly bonded/fairly co-dependent. But it’s good that Jennifer has someone looking out for her, as long as she still makes her own decision and doesn’t consider anyone’s word gold.

Jen and John seem pretty darn happy together, though it seems like everyone is still pretty worried about the match. John’s got quite the reputation as a player. But no one really knows what it is Jen wants from him. It seems like everyone assumes she wants a relationship because of the tabloids are always painting her in a “poor pathetic single Jennifer Aniston” light. She could very well be happy as a clam and just want to hang out and have some fun. And John Mayer seems pretty good for that. Just nothing more.

The paps managed to get photos of Mayer, Cox, and Arquette having dinner at their home but somehow Aniston managed to stay indoors the whole time. John is seen hugging an older woman – not Aniston – according to Splash. Images thanks to Splash.

Jessica Simpson has dialed up the crazy. Or dialed it down, depending on your perspective and who you believe. According to several sources, Simpson has warned Jennifer Aniston to stay away from former boyfriend John Mayer. But Simpson’s friends claim it’s not what you think – Jess is just super concerned for Jennifer. What a way to spin it.

Jessica Simpson is trying to warn Jennifer Aniston to be careful with new man John Mayer, because he is a notorious “ladies man”.

The wannabe country singer, who is currently dating American football star Tony Romo, was said to be jealous that her ex-boyfriend Mayer is dating the Friends star, but sources claim the green-eyed monster people are seeing is actually just concern.

A source says via Transworld News: “Jessica wants Jen to be aware of what she’s letting herself get into with John. She doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes. John is a ladies man.”

Others are also letting the rocker’s true colours be known, with a friend of Mayer adding: “He’ll spend every waking minute talking to someone and spending time with them and then move on to the next girl,” said the friend.

[From Entertainmentwise]

Okay, a couple things here. To be fair, what was supposedly said is consistent with John Mayer’s general reputation. However if they ever had a battle of the I.Q.s, I’d put my money on Jennifer Aniston. My point being I’m pretty sure she knows John Mayer’s reputation. Either Aniston is just looking for a good time right now, or she thinks she can change him. But after Brad Pitt and her other love debacles, I’m guessing Jen is smart enough to know that’s a waste of time.

Jessica Simpson letting Jennifer Aniston know that John Mayer is a player is like her calling Jen up to remind her that she has hair on her head. It’s just a major “duh” statement. Which makes me think either Simpson’s people are trying to spin some rumor to her benefit… or Jessica Simpson is just as dumb as we all thought. And to think, Papa Joe once infamously claimed to Vanity Fair that Jess had an I.Q. of 160…