TMZ reported yesterday that there was a final settlement determined by the arbitrator in the Gosselin divorce. The arbitrator’s ruling will now go to the divorce judge, who is expected to sign off on the division of property and finalize the divorce. Radar Online followed up with a report from Kate’s camp that she was very happy with the outcome, which is unfortunately sealed so we don’t know the details. Her lawyer tells Radar that the divorce is about to go through and a source is quoted as saying “She couldn’t be happier. Kate is thrilled.”

Jon’s scamming lawyer is saying that the divorce is far from over, though, and tells E! Online that “That’s still a work in progress. We’re waiting for a final decision.” Maybe the verdict isn’t in yet, but it sounds like a done deal. Mark Heller, who represents John, also said his client isn’t broke and repeated his ridiculous claims from yesterday that Jon is an in-demand celebrity, adding that he’s like a “folk hero”:

Despite word that the former reality fun couple’s divorce was “imminent,” the lawyer for Jon Gosselin tells E! News that it’s not likely to happen until after the calendar flips.

“That might be a little premature,” says attorney Mark Heller of a TMZ report that the arbitrator overseeing the case had made a ruling. “That’s still a work in progress. We’re waiting for a final decision.”

Next week marks the six-month anniversary of them filing the divorce petition in a Pennsylvania courtroom to dissolve their 10-year union.

While he’s not setting a timetable on the divorce, there is one thing that Heller is more certain about.

And that would be the state of Jon’s finances.

Heller says there’s no sign that the octodad is hurting for cash after a court order was issued last week for him to stop making paid public appearances in violation of his TLC contract.

“I don’t know anything about him not meeting his obligations,” says Heller. “Jon has met all appropriate legal obligations.

“Jon, this past year, was the most photographed man in America. He was included in more magazines than any other television reality celebrity. He is tremendously in demand by the public. Whenever I’m with him and we go out, fans rush to him to take pictures with him and their children. He’s become a real America personality and sort of folk hero, and I think he has a very bright future.”

So what is our favorite “folk hero” working on now?

“Jon is focusing on his children for the holiday,” says Heller. “He is buying them special presents and looking forward to preparation of celebration. His focus primarily is not on the litigation, but on his family. It will be a very joyous time for him and his children and he is embracing the moment.”

[From E! Online]

Adding credence to Kate’s side of the story, Jon was seen shooting off a gun yesterday outside his property in Pennsylvania. It’s unclear what he was shooting at exactly, but you can probably guess what he imagining. As some of you wondered in the comments yesterday, how much longer is Jon going to be able to afford his estimated $3,000 a month NY city bachelor pad? He’ll have to find a cheaper place nearby and I doubt Kate is going to let him live over the garage again. Pretty soon his paparazzi buddies will stop coming around and his tabloid contacts will stop returning his calls. If only he had treated some of his hookups better he might have some company in his misery. He can alway console himself with the “fans” willing to support their “folk hero.”

Header photo from 8/10/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

Dad of eight Jon Gosselin is headed to the drunken poorhouse. Fox News reports that the former reality star is broke and now that a judge has issued an injunction against future paid appearances he has no way of paying his legal bills. Last week, Jon’s off-again girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, told Radar that Jon’s manager was holding a check for her from her appearance on The Insider in October. Jon is managed by a guy named Michael Heller and his lawyer is his manager’s dad, Mark Heller. He owes all of them money and Michael Heller told Hailey that she needed to sign her check over to Jon so that Jon could pay his dad. “Then when the check came, Michael [Heller, Jon's manager] wouldn’t give it to me because he said that Jon owed his father [Mark Heller] money and he wanted me to sign my check over to Jon. It was the most ridiculous thing in the world. To this day, Mike Heller has my check from October.”

Last week, TLC was granted a preliminary injunction that forced Jon to stop making public appearances. Now a source close to Gosselin tells Fox411.com that the decision was a serious blow to the livelihood of the former “Jon and Kate Plus 8” star.

“Jon’s in pretty serious financial trouble because his plan for making money was shut down in court,” the insider said. “He has warned his lawyers that he can’t pay them and if he doesn’t succeed against TLC, he will have no funds. He’s even gone so far as to say that if they want to be paid, they will have to sue him.”

Those lawyers are part of a father/son team that was introduced to Gosselin by Michael Lohan, says the insider.

“Mark and Mike Heller were brought in because Michael Lohan was involved, and he convinced them to join Jon’s team early on in the summer,” the source said. “Lohan wanted to latch onto Jon and involved many people he knew. He convinced them Jon was going to have a successful career after the show.”

Mike Heller is the CEO of Talent Resources, which manages Jon Gosselin, and Mark Heller is Jon Gosselin’s New York lawyer.
But it wasn’t just Michael Lohan, currently having trouble himself, fueling the enthusiasm around the TV dad. Gosselin also led his lawyers to believe that he had money in his various accounts, said the source.

Now Gosselin’s bills are stacking up and he needs to get a legitimate job, but the insider says he is making no effort to get one.
“It’s a good thing Kate Gosselin has been put in charge of the family funds that provide for the couple’s eight children,” the insider says. “She is the responsible parent.”
Reps for the Hellers deny any problems with Gosselin.

“Jon Gosselin’s New York lawyer has the highest regard for Jon Gosselin and will continue to work for Jon for as long as he requires their services,” the rep said in a written statement to Fox411.com “The Hellers have no concern relevant to being paid by Jon for their services and see no circumstances under which they would ever sue Jon.”

“This past year, Jon Gosselin was the most photographed man in America and appeared in more magazines than any other reality TV star,” the statement continues. “Wherever he goes, there is an outpouring of love for him from his fans. And there is no doubt that he has a bright and shining career ahead of him.”

[From Fox411]

Gosselin has managed to alienate just about everyone around him with his lies and childish behavior. First it was the bossy wife that was holding his family together, then it was one girlfriend after another, followed by the one he claimed was his soulmate. Finally, his duplicitous lawyer has probably bailed on him during a case in which could potentially bankrupt him while blocking any future possibility of a media career. Jon didn’t even show up in court during an important ruling. Of course the guy says he’s standing by Jon, he wants to get paid.

I wanted to cover this because the “Santa” myth is one my five year-old son buys into hook, line and sinker. At first I felt guilty about it and wondered whether I should tell him the truth. Then I looked up how other parents handle it and many think that there’s nothing wrong in fostering a belief in Santa. When my son asks about it, I talk about a benevolent Santa that is part omniscient god and part superhero. I sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” as if it’s true. I feel kind of bad about lying to my son, but on the other hand it’s sweet that he believes in Santa and I don’t want to ruin it for him. I’ll tell him the true story of St. Nicholas when he’s ready.

US Weekly reports that the five year-old Gosselin sextuplets, who are about the same age as my son, no longer believe in Santa. Their older twin sisters, Mady and Cara, 9, are said to have ruined it for them. Some parents might call that sad while others say it’s realistic and honest:

After a rough, rough year for the eight Gosselin kids — their parents Jon and Kate Gosselin will divorce imminently and their hit reality show is no more — at least they can look forward to a visit from ol’ Saint Nick come Dec. 25. Well, not exactly.

“They don’t believe in Santa Claus,” a Gosselin pal reveals of 9 year-old twins Mady and Cara and 5 year-old sextuplets Alexis, Hannah, Aeden, Collin, Leah and Joel. “Mady and Cara ruined it for the sextuplets,” the source explains, “and told them a few years ago that Santa wasn’t real, and that their presents come from Mommy and Daddy.”

Sadly, the holiday anti-cheer has also spread to little ones outside the family’s Wernersville, Penn. compound, the source reports: “The sextuplets are the ones at school who tell the other kids there’s no Santa Claus.”

Whether or not the eight kids leave out cookies for Santa, Christmas season has arrived at the Gosselin home: the transitioning brood has set up a twelve-foot tree, decorated with white lights and a big star on top, in the family room at the back of the house.

[From US Weekly]

Aww, that’s too bad that Mady and Cara are telling their classmates there’s no Santa! Those kids have gone through so much in the past year. While we were focusing on their messed up parents, particularly their lying, cheating father, there were eight little kids suffering at home.

On Wednesday the news came out the Kate Gosselin said her kids were crying over the fact that the cameras were no longer filming for their reality show. I thought that they were crying because they missed the crew that became like a second family to them. Some of you pointed out how clueless Kate sounded by claiming the kids missed the show without even a mention of the fact that she’s divorcing her husband. Divorce is really hard on kids and they may act out and get upset over other things as they try to process the changes in their lives. Cara and Mady might be acting out by trying to ruin Christmas for other kids. Their holiday is already being ruined by their parents’ acrimonious divorce.

Jon Gosselin might have less cash to buy presents this year. He was issued an injunction by the judge in TLC’s case against him not to make any paid appearances without TLC’s approval. It didn’t hurt TLC’s position that both Jon and his lawyer failed to show up to court to defend themselves.

Remember when Tiger Woods was just some boring guy who played golf and seemed to be happily married to a loving wife? Those were the days. Back in those days, the Gosselins were some of the sketchiest, most dysfunctional people going. They’re still pretty crazy, but they’ve gotten pushed to the side in favor of real celebrities with bigger issues. So it is with a heavy heart that I report that Jon Gosselin didn’t bother showing up for his (I typed “her” first, because Jon is a bitch) court hearing regarding the lawsuit and counter-suit between him and TLC.

Originally, TLC sued Jon for breach of contract, because he pretty much ended the show and because they said they had on an exclusive contract, and he was making paid appearances elsewhere, without TLC’s permission. Oh, and Jon violated his “morals clause” by bangin’ all of those sketchy women. Jon countersued, blah, blah, you remember. Anyway, Jon cared so much about the legal proceedings that he didn’t show up. Because he has the mind of a five year old.

Jon Gosselin, the star of TLC’s hit reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” has not shown up to a hearing in his legal fight with the network.

Gosselin’s attorney, Mark Heller, had previously said the celebrity dad would attend Thursday’s hearing in Maryland, but the hearing has started without him.

The judge says Gosselin’s lawyers don’t plan to call witnesses.

The network wants the judge to stop Gosselin from making media appearances that it says violate his exclusive contract. TLC, which is owned by Silver Spring, Md.-based Discovery Communications, says the contract remains in force.

Gosselin says he has a right to earn a living as a media personality. He also claims in a countersuit that TLC violated Pennsylvania’s child labor laws in filming his eight children.

[From Huffington Post]

I just skimmed through Radar’s play-by-play of the court proceedings, and some of it is really interesting, but probably not for the reasons people think. It amazes me how people sign away so much of themselves just for a shot at reality stardom – and that’s what the case boils down to. How much control could TLC exert over Jon’s life? When is an affair not a personal matter, but a “breach of contract”? You get the idea. I couldn’t live like that, but I do think it’s an interesting case.

Oh, and Jon’s lawyer called TLC “mean-spirited”. Because he’s five years old too. Meanies!

UPDATE: TLC won, but I’m not sure exactly what that means. Radar claims that TLC got a “preliminary injunction” against Jon, and now Jon must “be questioned under oath regarding his outside income, statements about TLC and more.” Oh, and the Divorced Dads’ Club is not happening anytime soon. So, VICTORY!

While we were salivating over the latest details in the trainwreck Tiger Woods scandal the Gosselins were wondering what they had to do next to get some press attention. The celebrity media was so Gosselin-focused for the past six months that it took a real doozy to pull our attention away. It’s like the Gosselins were a minor tornado that leveled a few houses and Tiger was a big hurricane that hit land. The family of eight with the lazy cheating dad is still doing stuff, though, and there’s still some mild interest in them, like “oh yeah, the Gosselins.”

Kate Gosseiln has a new interview with Barbara Walters airing Wednesday as part of Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 special. It’s a shame that the Tiger news didn’t break earlier or she could have been replaced on the “Most Fascinating” list by one of his mistresses. Other “10 Most Fascinating” people include Tyler Perry, Glenn Beck, Lady Gaga, and Adam Lambert.

Kate tells Barbara that her kids are upset and crying because they miss the camera crew. She also says they often watch videos from the show and calls them “family memories.” That’s really sad.

“They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, ‘Where’s the camera crew? Where’s the camera crew? We miss them.’ And I said, ‘Our show is over.’ …Eight sobbing kids driving home from school,” Kate, 34, says on Barbara Walters’ The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009, airing Wednesday on ABC.

The show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, recently ended its two-year run.

In September, TLC made the shocking announcement that as of Nov. 2, Jon Gosselin would no longer appear on the reality series and that the program would be re-titled Kate Plus 8.

But the plan got axed after Jon objected to his kids appearing on TV, claiming that he had an “epiphany” that the show was exploiting his children.

Kate disagrees, telling Walters that Jon ended the show “because he could.”

Says Kate, “Unless you live in my house and, and see how everything that we have done with the show has been such a great experience, you can’t speak.”

To this day, her kids — 9-year-old twins Mady and Cara and 5-year-old sextuplets Hannah, Leah, Alexis, Joel, Aaden and Collin — “watch DVDs of our show and it’s family memories to them,” she says.

[From US Weekly]

So did all the crew just leave all of a sudden without having a party or saying goodbye to the kids? These people were part of their lives for years and now they’re gone. The kids don’t miss the cameras, they missed the people that were around all the time. Of course that’s going to be a little traumatic for them to be gone. The thing is, Kate doesn’t seem to get the distinction between the people behind the cameras and the show. It sounds so insensitive they way she broke the news to them. The kids don’t miss the show or being filmed, they miss having the crew around.

Kate was videotaped while serving patrons at a diner in Raleigh, North Carolina on Tuesday. Radar Online reports that the footage was a “test segment… for a show that ‘s still in development” with TLC. Unlike her soon-to-be ex husband, Kate doesn’t burn bridges.

The case by TLC against Jon Gosselin for breach of contract continues. Hailey Glassman, Jon’s sometime girlfriend, spoke to Radar after her deposition in the case. She said that she didn’t have much evidence against Jon except for the fact that they met up with Christian Audigier over the summer for a clothing line which never happened. Hailey also confirmed that she’s off-again with Jon but said they’re still living together. She started crying while talking about him, and called him a “monster,” saying “I was told under oath that Jon really did sleep with Kate Major. I’m mind boggled and hurt by it. And he still lies to me about it and denies it to this day.” Oh, honey. Jon may have told you Hailey was “cuckoo”, but you were so stupid to believe him despite all the evidence that he was cheating with multiple women. Where were your friends to tell you?

What’s more is that not only was Hailey lied to by Jon, his manager made sure she never got paid for talking to The Insider in late October. “Then when the check came, Michael [Heller, Jon's manager] wouldn’t give it to me because he said that Jon owed his father [Mark Heller] money and he wanted me to sign my check over to Jon. It was the most ridiculous thing in the world. To this day, Mike Heller has my check from October.” It’s too bad all the tabloid money has dried up.

Kate Gosselin is shown out on 10/28/09. Credit: WENN.com

Radar Online caught up with one of Jon Gosselin’s old hookups, former Star reporter Kate Major, outside her deposition in the case against Jon by TLC. Major went running to several media outlets in August after Jon Gosselin denied having a relationship with her. She was more composed in some interviews than others, but seemed like a mess overall and was crying that Jon convinced her to quit her job at the tabloid in order to work as his personal assistant. Major and Gosselin were together a whole 12 days, but not before she quit her job for him – total. She eventually showed a handwritten note from Jon prominising her a job and said that she would potentially sue him for breach of contract.

Major told Radar Online in a video posted today that her lawyers were exploring options as to whether she would sue Jon, and added that he “messed with the wrong girl.” We can’t embed her video here, but you can watch it on Radar.com. Poor Kate looks like she’s aged five years since this summer and she looks really tired and worn. She also seemed like she’d had a drink or three to get through the rough day. She was supposedly 26 over the summer, but she looks at least 10-15 years older. She joked that there was a contract with Jon and that it was not on a cocktail napkin and that she had a copy and everything.

Kate Major is finally spilling the intimate details of her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Following her deposition this week in the TLC breach of contract case against Gosselin, Major spoke to RadarOnline.com exclusively. She revealed why she fell for him and talked about her own business contract with him.

Major called her deposition “pretty intense. I told the truth, I have nothing to hide.”

Exclusive Video Interview: Michael Lohan Tells TLC How Jon Cashed In

She admitted that she fell for Jon because she believed in him and felt he had a good work ethic. “I really felt it would work out for us,” she told RadarOnline.com.

Major revealed that both she and Jon signed a contract stating that she would quit her job as a Star magazine reporter and work solely for him. “It was a mutual agreement,” she told RadarOnline.com. “And it was not on a napkin. Jon and I both had a copy. It was the same copy that was signed and dated that we both drew up together.”

When asked if she was going through with plans to sue Jon for breach of contract, Major told us her lawyers are exploring all options.

But when pressed to say whether she would sue Gosselin if it was up to her, Major replied slyly, “Oh, you betcha! He messed with the wrong girl!”

[From Radar]

Between Kate Major and Michael “I tape all my calls” Lohan TLC will have plenty of ammunition to successfully sue to tight pants off Jon Gosselin. He’ll be left hustling for appearances for three figures at local bingo halls. Doesn’t this Kate with her comically frosted hair, blue eyeshadow and sparkly pink lipstick kind of look like Kate Gosselin? All of Jon’s other girlfriends have been brunettes. Maybe he would have kept Major around if she wasn’t so crazy and blond like his wife.

Jon Gosselin was not invited to Kate Gosselin’s Thanksgiving celebrations. Neither was her brother. Instead, Kate invited her bodyguard/rumored lover Steve Neild over. And he brought his wife and family. Which begs the question – are Kate and Steve really hittin’ it? They’ve both denied it in the past, but the rumors have persisted. It could totally be that they’re close friends, and that he’s one of the few people that she trusts, and his wife is okay with their relationship. Okay enough to go to Kate’s for Thanksgiving, at least.

Kate Gosselin spent Thanksgiving with her eight children, plus bodyguard/best friend Steve Neild, his wife Ginaand their kids.

This is Kate’s first Thanksgiving in a decade without soon-to-be-ex husband Jon, and she’s estranged from her brother Kevin Kreider who reconciled with Jon last month — follow that? — so who better to share turkey with than the Neilds? The festive dinner took place at the Gosselin’s Wernersville, PA home.

Although there were once rumors that Kate and Steve were more than bodyguard and bodyguardee — rumors Jon helped promote — Kate has spoken about how much she has relied on Steve and Gina for support through her divorce. “They’re my best friends,” Kate said.

Jon & Kate Plus 8, the TV show, is now cancelled and a part of TV history. Jon & Kate’s marriage should be history by the end of December.

[From Radar]

Well, it’s nice that Kate got to spend time with her “best friends” during the holiday. Meanwhile, as I said, Jon was not welcome to celebrate with his kids. Jon told the New York Daily News that his Thanksgiving plans were to spend time with his grandmother, although Hailey Glassman tweeted: “LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/”friends”-lol-ur redic.” So… he didn’t spend time with his grandmother? Lord. And he did not spend any time with Hailey Glassman of her family, from what I can tell – even though a month ago he was talking about Thanksgiving at their house. Apparently, the split was for real and he’s no longer welcome anywhere near the Glassman family. Good stuff.

Photos of Steve Neild and his wife entering the Gosselin home on November 26. Credit: INF. Additional photos of Kate and Steve on August 25, credit: PicApp/Fame.

Not surprisingly, Kate and Jon Gosselin have had a hard time bouncing back in terms of their public image after their nasty divorce. Jon’s image is much worse – the public hates him to the point where no one will work with him. He’s a nightmare. It seems like someone’s always willing to put a hated “celebrity” on some show or another, but Jon Gosselin is so thoroughly reviled that everyone knows he will just cost them viewers and/or clients. Kate, on the other hand, hasn’t been as annoying as Jon throughout their divorce, but she was more annoying during their marriage. I’ve sort of forgiven her just because Jon is such an extreme wang, but the general public has not. As a result, she’s having a hard time hawking her wares as well.

Granted, this may be wishful thinking, but there are indications ”Gosselin-mania” may finally be waning.

Besides the show ending, I’ve learned both Kate and Jon Gosselin’s separate pitches to keep their money machines churning have mutually hit big roadblocks.

• Kate Gosselin’s proposals to several toy manufacturers — for a line of ”eco-friendly” playthings — have not been met with any enthusiasm. Ditto for her idea for a ”mom-friendly” (whatever that means!) line of beauty products for busy mothers.

• Meanwhile, despite lots of chatter — generated by Jon Gosselin himself — none of the rumored new reality shows he would front are gaining any traction with cable network honchos, who likely see the Gosselin phenomenon has run its course.

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

I love the idea of “mom-friendly” makeup. That’s like Kate coming up with an idea of female-oriented lipsticks. Talk about reinventing the wheel. Jon’s proposals have mostly been for reality shows, like his idea for a show with former BFF Michael Lohan called “Divorced Dads Club.” I feel smarmy even thinking about it. I honestly would bet that people boo Jon when he walks by on the street. What a waste of space.

Kate’s cookbook, which was completed before the divorce and scheduled to be released this month, has been put off indefinitely. It was to be called, “Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories” and had instructions on how to pray before dinner from the mom of one of “America’s America’s most close-knit families”

I don’t really care about either Kate or Jon and certainly don’t want them to get anymore of the fame they so dearly crave. But I do seriously worry about how they’re going to support those eight little kids. Kate seems to have a better chance of doing so – not only because she has two brain cells to rub together, but also because she’s a little better liked. I doubt they’d be able to make enough cash to support eight children in regular jobs – so something tells me we’ll still be hearing about them for a long while.

Here’s Kate with the twins in Reading, PA this weekend. Images thanks to INF Photo.

Michael Lohan has said in the past that he’s no longer friends with Jon Gosselin after Gosselin cut him out of deals he was trying to broker for him.

Lohan is one of the witnesses subpoenaed to potentially testify in TLC’s case against Jon for breeching his contract. He seems to have an axe to grind along with being an all-around asshole with no sense of loyalty to anyone, especially his own family. When you talk to Michael Lohan, you can assume he’s recording every word for when he inevitably has a beef with you. We’ve heard Michael’s secretly recorded phone tapes of his daughter literally crying for help and his ex wife saying Lindsay needed to go to rehab. Now Lohan is leaking phone calls to Radar Online that show the many ways that Gosselin knowingly violated his contract with TLC.

Yesterday Radar posted a tape between Michael Lohan and Gosselin’s manager. The two were talking about all the deals they were working out for Jon. There was a deal with In Touch for which the manager got $5,000, and since he said Lohan’s take was 20% I would assume that his percentage was similar and that the deal was for six figures. (It’s unclear if Heller’s percentage is also 20%, but if so the deal would have been worth $100,000.) I’m pretty sure they’re talking about Jon’s In Touch cover story in August “I’m Tired of Being Blamed.” Jon’s manager Michael Heller also claimed he was working out a deal with E! for $75,000. An E! interview in August was canceled by Jon at the last minute, with rumors at the time that TLC had forced Jon to pull out. I think we can assume that this conversation was recorded in August given those two deals, which was when Lohan and Gosselin were still hanging out.

Radar also has another conversation between Jon and Michael in which they talk about the deals they’re working out. Jon mentions his exclusivity clause with TLC and seems to know that he’s violating it because he says “yeah, we’re f’cked.”

He also claims TLC got paid in side deals for two interviews with his family, in People and Good Housekeeping, a claim the network denies. Gosselin says with the faux outrage he’s so good at conjuring when it suits him “I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it.” He’s referring to the magazine profiles, not the show, because he said this right after he complained that “they struck side deals [with People and Good Housekeeping] and none of that money went to my kids.” This is ironic coming from a guy who took out a couple hundred grand from his joint checking account. It’s also pretty hypocritical from someone who willingly let his kids get videotaped for years but then complains about pedophiles when they’re in a magazine spread they don’t get paid for.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you. If you’re interested you can hear the tapes on Radar online. The bottom line is that TLC has a ton of material to use against Jon, thanks to his former good buddy Michael Lohan. Jon’s lawyer is a hack and I doubt he’ll successfully defend him against such good evidence.

Jon Gosselin is shown on 11/20/09 at LAX. Credit: MAC/Fame Pictures

I watched most of the Jon and Kate finale last night and while I’m not “team” anyone, I’m definitely leaning toward Kate as the more responsible parent. Ultimately it’s in the kids’ best interest that the show is finished and that the most dramatic moments of their childhood are no longer captured for our entertainment. I came away with the definite impression that it’s Kate who is the level-headed parent who will work to treat them with compassion while planning for their futures. Sure she’s a drill sergeant in her way, but Jon seemed more like a petulant teenager than a parent. TLC has an axe to grind with Jon as he put a stop to their most lucrative show, but it’s not like they forced him to look like he’d just got off a three day bender or to go on at length about his lost youth and new girlfriend. The difference between Kate and her careful words and well coiffed appearance and unshaven Jon in a dirty t-shirt couldn’t have been more striking.

Kate started crying while talking about the end of the show. She said it was too soon and that “I feel like it’s been taken from us” and “the kids are already missing it.” (We don’t have that clip here but you can watch it on Radar Online.) She said several times that Jon will always be her children’s father and that she would work not to say negative things about him to the kids. She also said that he was always going to be a part of their lives and that she would welcome that. Jon, on the other hand, mostly went on about himself and how everything affected him. He barely seemed to talk about the kids at all. During his filmed custody time, on a trip to sell lemonade to raise money for volunteer firefighters, he got annoyed with his nine year-old twins, Mady and Cara, and told them they had to stay home. He was really short with them, and seemed vindictive, saying things like “you’re done. Goodbye. See ya!” The thing that seemed to set him off was one of the twins saying “I like stuff we do with Mommy.” Daddy has a hangover and he’s not taking any back talk.

Here’s some of the stuff Jon and Kate said separately on the final episode of the fifth season of their reality show. (Not all the quotes are in order.) There won’t be more episodes of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” but Kate will surely be back on some kind of show. Jon will probably continue hanging around low-class events like one of those sucker fish on the side of a neglected home aquarium:

Kate on the end of the show
This is a very bittersweet goodbye for me, because the kids are already missing it. He’s still their dad, and they love him… they need to see him. Our show has provided opportunities that we wouldn’t otherwise have. I feel like it’s been taken from us, from me and the kids…

I feel like it ended so suddenly, and I feel like it’s been taken from us, from me and that kids.

I never had a clear picture of how it would end, but I think it’s too soon.

On her feelings about how the series came to an end.
It’s sad, it’s needless, it’s useless, it was totally avoidable…. I basically could go to work and my kids could go with me, is how I saw it…

Our show has provided the opportunities for us to travel and do and see, that we wouldn’t otherwise have.

Jon on how he supposedly changed
I think I became more educated about myself… I gotta stop being a kid, I got to grow up one day and take initiative and be a man. I think what might have happened was I got divorced and never had the sense of freedom. I got married at 22, so maybe I reverted back to 23, because I never had that freedom…

Kate on her goals for herself and her kids
I think through all of this scrutiny I wish that people could see that maybe I’ve been thrown in the same boat with Jon, but the truth is I’m in a completely different boat going in a completely different direction… my goals have not changed… I want the best for my kids.

Jon on his bachelor life and “work” in NY
NY was a big eye opener for me. I kind of just picked a place to live and started living there. Now I know like where I hang out and stuff like that is totally different… it’s three hours from my house and where my kids are, which means it’s like work, it’s like I have work again. Although I live there, it’s not like I’m at my house and work’s at my house… I couldn’t leave. Now it’s like I have a place to go.

When I get sick of the city and all the press and the media… I go back to my country place and I’m chill. So it’s like I got the best of both worlds right now.

Kate on how she talks to her kids about Jon
The kids ask a lot of questions… I need them to see a hardworking parent that is… not just saying they want the best but really I want the best for my kids. They come to me with questions and I answer them… matter of factly. When a behavior is unacceptable I’ll tell them that, but I try not to do it in a disparaging way. I don’t want them to look back and remember me as tearing their father apart who they love.

Jon on how he is going to change
The biggest thing I’ve learned is you make these mistakes, you learn from them and you move forward… I know what I have to do to save our family from being resolved [sic] and I know what I have to do to be friends with Kate and I know what I have to do to continue my relationship with Hailey and move on. There’s like a whole bunch of things going on, but they kind of all tie together.

Kate on Jon’s girlfriends
They don’t know about girlfriends at all. That’s just too warped for them. It’s too unhealthy for them to know. They’re learning at this age by watching us what it’s like to be an adult and that’s the last thing I want them to know.

I really just think that relationship… [Hailey is not mentioned by name] is just a symptom of the real issue. So I don’t envision a future there involving my kids at all.

Kate on Jon always being her kids’ dad
They love him and they need to see him. My goal has really been to remain neutral, state the facts, not say negative things about them. It is what it is. He’s still their dad and I will never discourage him from being with them.

Kate on if any good has come out of the last eight months
I’m a lot stronger than I thought was ever possible… I can tell you who my true friends are. I have never known how much I would need people around me and friends to support me, to get me through… that there are people who will listen and listen and give advice and never grow tired. Those are lifelong friends.

Jon again on how he’s going to change
I’m going to have to take initiative for myself and do the best I can as a father, and I’m always going to be there for my friends. No. Matter. What…

It’s unfortunate our marriage failed, but our family shouldn’t have to fail.

[Transcribed from final episode of Jon & Kate, aired 11/23/09]

For all the things you can say about both Jon and Kate, they seem to be honestly trying to do what’s best for their kids. Kate hasn’t said anything about Jon that we don’t already know, and she’s been very reserved in her criticism of him. It looks like they’re about to reach an agreement in their divorce, and Jon even brought Kate roses in some kind of dual attempt at conciliation and positive press. Even if their divorce is settled amicably, it’s not like this story is over. Jon is being sued by TLC for breach of contract and that case is set to go to court next month. We’re sure to hear more explosive details in this family circus. Not that much would surprise us at this point.