*******SPOILERS for this season of Mad Men, especially last night’s episode.

Usually, I’m so worked up after watching Mad Men on Sunday nights that I can’t get to sleep. I lay awake think about Don Draper and Peggy Olsen and poor, daft Megan Draper and of course Joan Holloway. But not last night. Last night, I fell into a deep sleep and do you know why? Because I finally have come to terms with how much Mad Men sucks this season. You know me – I’m a ride or die Mad Men bitch. I can find praise-worthy material even in a less-than-stellar episode. By now I’m comfortable with the Mad Men pacing and I know I have to just sit back and wait for the story Matthew Weiner wants to tell. But something is seriously missing from this season, and I feel like we need to acknowledge it.

Is the problem that Don just sucks so much this season? Is it that his mistress is terrible? Is it that Megan seems especially self-involved? Is it that Peggy doesn’t have enough of a story? All I know is that the last minutes of last night’s episode were basically a metaphor for how I’m starting to feel – blindsided and depressed. Bobby Kennedy was shot in LA on the night he won the California primary. And how was that story told? In the last minutes, through Pete Campbell’s mother (who is off her rocker), through Megan’s tears and through Don’s apathy. Bobby Kennedy was Don’s age, you know? And I hated how they just tacked that crap on to the end of the show. Granted, 1968 was crazy and so many people were assassinated, but at least give the characters some real time to breathe and react, you know? I would have loved to see Peggy instead of Pete. Peggy loved Bobby Kennedy. Let her character memorialize him. I just didn’t get why they tacked it onto the end. Death always comes at the end, I suppose. Blah.

I guess what we’re supposed to be watching is how Don unravels. He’s lost his mistress now – she finally came to her senses after all of those completely boring shenanigans in the hotel room (we get it, Don, you’re a control freak about sex). But did it strike anyone else that he was just going through the motions? It wasn’t hot. It wasn’t sexy. It was just… mechanical seduction. He was trying to make himself feel. He didn’t even want to seduce her, he just didn’t want her to leave because no one leaves him and he can’t be alone (right now). Perhaps this is just the multi-season storyline of how Don kills himself, maybe. I don’t know. He’s suicidal, but I don’t even know if he acknowledges it.

Anyway, I just want to watch Peggy, Joan and Roger these days. I don’t give a crap about anyone else. OK, I’ll also take Stan Rizzo and Michael Ginsburg and Abe. Just make the show about them. If Don wants to kill himself, he should just go ahead because I really don’t care anymore.

Assorted photos of Jon Hamm from the end of April, courtesy of WENN.

Here are some photos of the cast of Mad Men (minus Peggy & Joan) yesterday The Paley Center, where they participated in a discussion about the new season of Mad Men. I don’t think Jon Hamm is going commando, but it doesn’t even matter because I only have eyes for John Slattery, because I would marry Roger Sterling in a f—king heartbeat.

I’m really just writing about these photos because now that we’re three episodes into the season (I’m counting the two-hour premiere as one episode), we have enough material to really discuss what’s going on what we hate and what we love. So… let’s talk about it. I’ll just put up the spoiler warning for this season:

SPOILERS FOR THIS SEASON OF MAD MEN BELOW.

*It really feels like Joan and Peggy are being underutilized. That was the case last season too, especially for Peggy. In the end, Joan ended up having a rather meaty role last season, and I want that for her again this season. I want Joan and Peggy to succeed on their own terms, to carve out their own paths in advertising. And that’s exactly what they’re going to have to do – they are the female pioneers of Madison Avenue. Their stories need to be meatier, that’s all I’m saying.

*I wanted to punch Harry Crane in the face when he stood in the partners’ meeting and bitched about Joan sleeping her way into a partnership. What was weird/funny/interesting about it though was that none of the male partners really gave a sh-t. They accept that Joan slept her way into a place at the table. I also feel like they all respect her and understand that she deserves it and earned her place.

*Doorways! Remember Roger’s speech to his therapist in the first episode? Doorways. Doorways, open doors, closed doors and listening at doors. That’s the theme this season. Voyeurism, closed doors, inability to walk through literal and proverbial doors. DOORS. Will they start to use Doors songs?

*Roger is simply the best, isn’t he? MORE ROGER. Please.

*I’m okay with Dawn the Secretary’s increased role. I like her. I think she’s a good secretary and I think one night, when Don is drunk, he’s going to kiss her. And it’s going to be HOT.

*I LOVED DON’S FACE when he listened to Peggy’s pitch for Heinz. That destroyed him more than seeing his wife kiss another man. But Don didn’t seem to feel betrayal… he was stunned, he was devastated, and there was a dash of pride too. He loves Peggy. He’s proud of her. She is going to usurp him and he knows it. Do you think Peggy will ever come back to Don? Maybe if they offered her a partnership…?

*But really, this is what I wanted to discuss: how much does Don suck this season? I’m not saying Jon Hamm sucks at playing Don, and I’m not even saying that the writing is bad or off-side. I’m just saying that Don Draper sucks as a person this season. He’s awful. He’s petty and complacent and he’s a coward. Before, his redeeming qualities added dimension – he loved Peggy and she brought out the best in him. He loves his daughter and he wants to be part of her life. But nowadays he just seems so… out of touch and small and mean. He’s turned into an awful man.

*I’m fine with the lack of Fat Betty, by the way. She and her “rape jokes” can take a backseat.

*Oh, and Pete? Mini-Don, only WORSE. I was shocked by the scene of his mistress coming to his door after her husband beat the hell out of her.

*I loathe Megan Draper. She’s such a child. But somehow, Linda Cardellini’s mistress character is worse. I really hate her.

Photos courtesy of WENN and PR Photos.

The entire post is full of SPOILERS for last night’s premiere of Mad Men.

Season 6 of Mad Men premiered last night, and I ended up having Mad Men dreams all last night because that’s just the way Mad Men works. I kind of like the 2-hour premiere episodes because Matthew Weiner really gets to stretch out the pacing and create the story in these odd little moments. This is a different kind of 1960s story – every character is not constantly referencing the Rolling Stones or Vietnam or the civil rights movement, but all of those cultural touchstones are used to make up the fabric of Mad Men, and you can really start to feel the weight of it.

So, as for Vietnam – I guess we’re at the end of 1967, entering 1968 in the premiere episode. There were a few LBJ references, as well a horrific reference to soldiers killing the Viet Cong and cutting off their ears. But that was only a problem because Peggy had to change her “Lend Me Your Ears” headphone campaign. That was her story line, Peggy working through the holidays to figure out something to replace a campaign that now referenced a Vietnam War crime. I kind of loved Peggy’s story, her quarter of the premiere triad. I loved that she’s a bitchy boss who yells at her staff and orders them to work through the holidays. I love that she still uses the tools Don Draper gave her (writing a letter to a friend to describe the product). I love that her creativity gets inspired by little things, like her boyfriend Abe listening to music. Abe looks good with that beard, right? I love that they’re still together and that he brings her dinner when she’s working late. And I like that she’s working for a man who understands her value and compliments her work on a regular basis.

The second part of the quartet of stories – Roger, Death, Therapy and the Women Roger Loves. This was one of the few parts of the story that didn’t involve Vietnam, right? But even then, Roger referenced Pearl Harbor and WWII. I got a little bit bored by Roger in therapy, but I guess it’s appropriate for the time and Roger has always been a little Woody Allen-ish (if Woody was a WASP with a heart problem). I loved Roger’s immaturity (yelling “It’s MY funeral!” and then flopping face-down on the bed with the coats). I also loved his breakdown with the shoe-shine kit. OMG. It was just… perfect Roger. Roger and his mortality, Roger being Roger, etc. Is it just me or were they trying to make his daughter look like crap?

As for Don Draper’s quarter of the story… well, I wish they had dedicated some time to telling part of Joan’s story, but whatever. Don Draper in Hawaii, barely saying a word. Don Draper meeting a young PFC about to ship off to ‘Nam. Don carrying around the PFC’s Zippo, almost coming to tears when he discovered it, trying to throw it away when he was drunk, and having it come back to him. I guess the point of the Hawaii campaign is that Don is suicidal and he doesn’t even know it, right? He’s just gone completely back to his old habits, cheating on his wife with someone she knows, being rather morbid and he’s still drinking WAY too much. As the PFC said, what goes around comes around.

And for Betty Draper-Francis… I like that she’s still Fat Betty. I thought her storyline was blah, though. So… whatever. But Betty dyed her hair! I guess that’s news.

Some of my favorite parts: I love how everybody is so beardy these days! I loved that Don’s still got Dawn the African-American secretary (and she seems like a good secretary too). I loved that Peggy still keeps in touch with Rizzo and they like to gossip over the phone late at night (how cute was that?). I love everything involving Roger and his first ex-wife, played by his real wife Talia Balsam. I loved that the episode wasn’t full-on Megan, thank God. And I love how Sally is so moody and a typical teenager. What did you love/hate?

Here are some photos of Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt and their dog going for a walk yesterday in LA. Jon contained the Hamm Dong!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here are some lovely new photos of Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt and their dog, whose name I do not know. Let’s call him Hammy the Hamm Dog. I would imagine that Jon and Jennifer (and Hammy) decided to step out for their happy family photo-op just in time to promote Mad Men’s Season 6, which premieres on Sunday. I’m a ride or die Mad Men bitch, I’ll admit it. I’ll probably put off watching Game of Thrones so I can watch Mad Men in real time. And I don’t need Jon’s bulge to remind me! Speaking of his bulge, you heard that underwear companies were offering to swaddle the Hamm Dong, right? I didn’t talk about it last week because I thought the stories were kind of cheap. Like, Jockey and Fruit of a Loom were trying to get some free press on Jon Hamm’s dong.

Meanwhile, I did find this interesting interview with Jon done by Digital Spy UK (the UK LOVES Mad Men, maybe even more than America loves Mad Men). You can read the full interview here, and here are some highlights:

Setting the scene in the late 1960s: “At this particular juncture – in not only American history but world history – there’s such a seismic shift of relevance between the older generation and the younger generation. The younger generation is really taking over every conversation, whether it’s music or theatre or television or film or even politics. The youth is having such an impact on all forms of expression. So I think Don is certainly someone that is feeling his relevance slip away, and for someone who trades in being smart and sharp and on observing human nature, I think that’s potentially devastating.”

Is Don Draper a sociopath or a psychopath: “I don’t think that’s inaccurate, but I do think he is probably a very high functioning one. A lot of his darkness is directed inside, inwardly, because he’s a man who’s fundamentally unhappy with himself. If you want to psychoanalyse it, you’re looking at somebody who literally takes on another person’s identity – you have to feel like that person doesn’t think very much of their original identity. So that comes back to Don being fundamentally broken and… why does he behave the way he behaves? In spite of this Dickensian upbringing that he had and this crazy life, he has survived and thrived, so what is the motivation behind that? I think that’s one of the other things that we’ll discover this season.”

Don’s relationships with Joan and Peggy: “We explore both of those relationships even further during this season. There’s a deep, deep respect and I think a little bit of fear from Don to Joan – he knows exactly who not to f**k with in that office, and she’s the one! Whereas Peggy, he’s very protective and proud of, because he sort of discovered her. Peggy was Don’s discovery and she’s very, very good – and because she’s very good, she’s very sought after. His influence and power [over her] are waning and he needs to figure that out.”

How will Don end up at the end of Mad Men? “I get asked this question a lot and it’s nice to be asked this question, because, 1) it leads me to believe that people give a s**t about this character, but also it lets me step out of it for a little bit and give a s**t about it as well. I hope and wish for some sort of balance in his life – this is a man who, as we find out more and more about his past, we realize just how fundamentally damaged he is and the fact that he’s been functioning this well for this long is sort of remarkable. When you see something broken, you want to fix it, and I think that Don’s broken nature is something that compels people to want to help, to want to fix it, to do what they can. I guess that’s why I’m compelled to want him to succeed – and in a psychological and emotional way. He’s done just fine professionally, but I want him just to be a better human being and find some sort of peace or love or harmony or balance. Maybe I saw Life of Pi one too many times, but I think he needs to find that place where he’s just… comfortable.”

[From Digital Spy]

Ooooh, this interview is getting me excited. One of the reasons I thought Season 5 sucked so hard – beyond the Megan Draper nonsense, which was just the worst – was that Peggy and Don weren’t together enough. Their relationship is the heart of the show. She is Don, just younger and female. There is a father-daughter thing, a brother-sister thing, a mentor-mentee thing, and a husband-wife thing all going on within Peggy and Don’s relationship, and while I understood the need for Peggy to “outgrow” Don, I still missed seeing them together more. I need more Peggy! And more Joan. Both of them together. All three of them. Something!

Meanwhile, AMC has released some teaser images from the new season – you can see them here. The sideburn situation is getting sketchy and I swear, Pete Campbell is starting to look like H.R. Halderman.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

We’ve been talking about Jon Hamm’s Hamm Dong for years now. It was like 2010 when we began discussing his often-prominent bulge and his penchant for going without drawers. It’s been part of the celebrity-gossip world for years. So I don’t understand why Jon Hamm has recently decided to pitch a fit about it. When the NY Daily News had a story about the Hamm Dong causing problems on the set of Mad Men, Jon’s rep issued a bitchy statement about how the conversation was childish or whatever. I mean, the rep isn’t wrong – it IS childish. But it’s also fun, harmless and for the love of God, if Jon is going to get so upset about it, maybe he should wear underwear? Anyway, Jon covers the new issue of Rolling Stone to promote the new season of Mad Men. So far, the only excerpts from the interview are Jon bitching about the attention his Hamm Dong gets.

Jon Hamm’s Endowment for the Arts! At long last, the Mad Men hunk, 42, has opened up about a literally below-the-belt topic: Frequent paparazzi closeup shots of his, er, impressive crotch, most of them suggesting that the actor prefers not to wear underwear.

“Yeah, I’m familiar,” Hamm tells the new issue of Rolling Stone regarding snapshots (and ever-evolving online memes) of his nether regions.

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience,” complains the award-winning AMC star, who has been dating Jennifer Westfeldt since 1997. (Talk of Hamm’s genitals accelerated last week, when the Daily News claimed that the actor was asked to wear undergarments for season six of Mad Men due to “tight” 1960s-era pants.)

Continued Hamm of the X-rated scrutiny on his underwear-less excursions: “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for f–k’s sake. Lay off.”

Still, the celebrated NYC resident keeps it all in perspective, for the most part. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a f—ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my c–k, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame].”

“But whatever,” says the well-endowed Hmm, sipping a Budweiser during the Rolling Stone interview. “I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

[From Us Weekly]

I had to look up “prurience”. It means “Inordinately interested in matters of sex; lascivious”. Yep. That’s exactly what it is. And? Jon Hamm/Don Draper is a sex symbol. It’s served him well. He’s benefited from it and profited from it and his dong wouldn’t be a “thing” if he wasn’t flashing his bulge around all the time. Usually I’m #TeamHamm by default but I don’t really understand why he’s playing this “don’t talk about my d—k” game recently.

Here’s the Tumblr devoted to his junk. Or you could just glance through our archives.

Photos courtesy of Rolling Stone, Fame/Flynet.

For the next two Sundays, we will be gifted with the premieres of two hotly anticipated new seasons of two of the best TV series on television. This Sunday, Game of Thrones Season 3 begins on HBO. The next Sunday (April 7), Mad Men’s Season 6 begins. I actually think Mad Men’s popularity is on the down-swing while GoT seems more popular than ever. We’ll see where GoT’s fan-boys and fan-girls are when their sixth season comes, because I’m beginning to feel like it’s only the die-hards left amongst Mad Men fanatics. Like, I’m a die-hard. I don’t have any qualms about admitting that. I will stick with Mad Men until the bitter end because I have a deep investment in Joan, Peggy, Sally and Don. I’d like to see what happens with Pete, Trudy, Roger and Betty too, but for me it’s all about the women and Don.

Anyway, I’ve been surprised by the lack of hoopla surrounding the return of Mad Men. AMC has been trying to parcel out some teasers, but there are no major interviews or magazine covers or anything, which seems weird. Mad Men’s Facebook page posted these Season 6 portraits of the main characters (no more Fat Betty!) and AMC released a completely boring and tedious teaser for the new season yesterday. All of these clips are from last season!

Terrible, isn’t it? So boring.

So let’s talk about the portraits! I have high hopes that Peggy/Elisabeth Moss will have a significant storyline this season because her Season 5 wasn’t all that awesome (except for when she quit, which was awesome). Look at Peggy’s Season 6 hair!! I love it. Don Draper looks good and stiff (cough). Megan looks super-annoying, per usual. And I’m really sorry to all of you who don’t like or “get” Roger Sterling but I LOVE HIM. As for Joan… I want her to go back to her maiden name! Joan Holloway is such a great name.

Here’s another teaser:

Photos courtesy of AMC/Facebook.

And here are some photos of the dudes from Mad Men – I already covered the ladies earlier. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any good photos of my favorite Mad Man, John Slattery, but here’s the Hamm Dong with his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt. Is that the face of a lady who gets Hamm Dong on the regular? Sigh. Jon looks okay… I can’t really make out The Freewheelin’ Dong.

I kind of love that Pete Campbell has a receding hairline now, and I love that Vincent Kartheiser is trying to “fix” it by giving himself a Justin Bieber hairstyle. He’s so cute.

Ben Feldman (otherwise known as the Jewish Don Draper, Michael Ginsberg). He has amazing hair.

Aaron Staton (Ken Cosgrove)… I have a thing for Ken. HE’S FROM VERMONT.

Jay Ferguson (Stan Rizzo) – he looks like (a really short) Wolverine!!

Christopher Stanley (Henry Francis) – the man who thought he was rescuing a disillusioned housewife and ended up getting Fat Betty. I hope Henry’s mother is in a few episodes!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jon Hamm’s Hamm Dong has been a major gossip player for several years now. I think we were all aware of Hamm’s business when he first hit the scene, but it was one tabloid story in 2010 which captured everybody’s attention and made The Hamm Dong something really special. In 2010, the tabloids reported that Jon refused to wear underwear under his costumes when filming Mad Men, and his lack of underwear was causing a lot of problems. Now the NY Daily News has a similar sounding story, which actually makes perfect sense because The Hamm Dong has reached critical mass at this point – people are actually looking at his bulge in every photo these days!

“Mad Men” star Jon Hamm’s private parts are causing a stir. Again. An AMC insider tells Confidenti@l that during filming of the sixth season of the hit show — when the ’60s-style clothing was a tight fit — Hamm was politely instructed by a staffer at the network to please wear underwear while shooting his scenes.

“This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination,” a source tells us. “Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear.”

Our insider says that during seasons one and two, AMC’s marketing team even had to do some Photoshop magic on promotional booklets that went out to press in order to make his privates more, well, private.

Especially causing a giggle for the crew were scenes shot in Hawaii, where Hamm lounges around sipping a cocktail in tiny shorts that leave little to the imagination.

“His privates are the inside joke,” says our source, who adds that Hamm “knows what he’s got.”

A quick Google search does show that the actor appears to go commando while not on set. There’s no shortage of images of him strolling down the street looking very healthy.

“Imagine how distracting that would be on the side of a bus or building,” laughed our source. “When the promotional pictures came back the first few seasons, we had to work with them. Everyone was concerned about too much Christina Hendricks boob, but it’s Jon that has the most to show. It’s a good problem to have.”

This season, the network hired popular ’60s illustrator Brian Sanders to tackle the poster task with a paintbrush. In past seasons’ posters, we’ve seen Hamm’s Don Draper both sitting and standing with his back to us. The new season debuts on Sunday, April 7, with a two-hour premiere.

A rep for Hamm said: “It is ridiculous and not really funny at all. I’d appreciate you taking the high road and not resorting to something childish like this that’s been blogged about 1,000 times.”

[From The NY Daily News]

That statement from Hamm’s rep is kind of crazy, right? WHY is it childish to note that the Hamm Dong is swinging in the breeze over and over? People NOTICE it. It’s not like we even have to point it out. And it IS funny – if Jon Hamm wore panties, they would be in a twist. Unfortunately, he does not wear panties so we can talk about it all we want.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame/Flynet.

Don Draper and the Impossible Ennui of the 1960s, the photo shoot. Actually, these are some candids from the LA set of Mad Men, with Jon Hamm dressed up in character at Don circa… 1967 maybe? Last season it was 1966, so I’m guessing this is 1967. That tie tells me that Summer of Love will be coming up soon! That tie says “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” Draper-style. By the way, I know I’ve always fought with many of you about this, but now I get it – Jon Hamm is at his sexiest when he’s in character as Draper. Normal Jon Hamm is attractive (to me), but Draper is a sexy beast. Sigh.

So, are you going through Mad Men withdrawals? Surprisingly enough, I haven’t been jonesing for my Mad Men. No, it’s not that I’m “over” Mad Men, I just found last season to be kind of soul-crushing with all of the Megan storylines. Megan exhausts me. Unfortunately, Megan is still around, as we’ve already seen from set photos in Hawaii last year. And guess what? We don’t have to wait that much longer for the new season! Mad Men’s sixth season will premiere on April 7 with a two-hour episode (which is what they did last season!). Here’s the new teaser:

It’s kind of meh. I hope they do a real season trailer soon. I also hope Jon Hamm gets sent out to do some major press for the show, because he’s always an interesting interview. Maybe he’ll bash the Kardashians again.

Last thing: Page Six reported yesterday that Hamm has signed onto a new film called Million Dollar Arm where he plays a real guy, J.B. Bernstein, a sports agent who recruited two Indian cricket players to play professional baseball. I’m sure he’ll love that because the Hamm Dong loves baseball.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

A lot of the celebrities who were at the actual Oscars went back to their hotel rooms to get into their party dresses. And then some celebrities who were not at the Oscars came out last night solely for the parties. These are some selected shots from the Vanity Fair Oscar party, which is the ticket everybody wants. There were some surprises among the guest list, like Natalie Portman and Benjamin. I’m genuinely surprised they came out for the Vanity Fair party – surely they are WAY too private to deign to pose on the red carpet together? Natalie is wearing Dior – does anyone else think she looks pregnant again? Do you think it’s on or is it just a weird dress?

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. I just can’t with her plastic face anymore. Jon looks really tired here too. I still love him, but my love has waned a bit.

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad. The dress is total J.Lo (for real) but from the neck up, Lily is giving me Rooney Mara vibes. God, she’s lost so much weight.

Miranda Kerr in Valentino, with a shellshocked-looking Orlando Bloom. Why are they everywhere these days? This is like the fifth big Hollywood event they’ve come to in two months. What’s the deal?

Anne Hathaway changed her dress for the party, but we don’t have any full-length shots. My bad! This dress seems okay – it’s just a sack, you know? A halter-sack.

Here’s Gerard Butler and his girlfriend of several months, Madalina Ghenea. I guess I’m happy that he seems to be in a relationship that has lasted longer than a trip to a Port-o-potty, but this lady gives me strange vibes. Drag queen vibes.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.