Boy do I love me some Q-list celebrities. And who’s more Q-List than Danny Bonaduce? Maybe a random Playboy Playmate, but that’s it. Bonaduce, who was on “The Partridge Family” back in the day and “Breaking Bonaduce” more recently, lost his temper for the 283,485,382,384,381,593 time at the most prestigious of awards show, the Fox “Really Awards” and flipped out on ex-Survivor contestant Jonny Fairplay. Yeah, who? I don’t know. Some dude with curly hair. Fairplay jumped on Bonaduce, basically shoving his crotch in his face (quite acrobatic, if nothing else) which seemed to piss Bonaduce off. Welcome to every woman’s Saturday night, dude.

“Danny Bonaduce is being investigated for battery for tossing ex-Survivor contestant Jonny Fairplay over his shoulder during an award show Tuesday. Fairplay, 33, filed a police report Wednesday claiming that his teeth were knocked out during the incident at the FOX Reality Really Channel awards held at the Hollywood club Boulevard3, the Associated Press reports.”

“Police received the battery report around 2 a.m. at a Hollywood hospital where Fairplay was being treated, Officer April Harding told the AP. ‘He had one tooth broken, another tooth missing from his gum line and two other teeth that were loose,’ she said.

“During the awards show, Fairplay was being jeered onstage when Bonaduce, 48, came onto the stage and said into the microphone, ‘They’re booing because they hate you’” (Fairplay, a wrestler who came in third on the 2003’s Survivor: Pearl Islands, was criticized by many viewers for having lied about the death of lie his grandmother in order to win sympathy from other competitors.)”

“According to police, Fairplay said he then tried to hug Bonaduce. In a video clip of the incident, Fairplay is seen jumping into Bonaduce’s arms. In reaction, Bonaduce tossed Fairplay up and over his head and onto the floor. Fairplay then got up and ran offstage while holding his hand over his mouth.”

[From People]

Bonaduce’s defense? Fairplay was throttling him, and he had to throw him off to stop him. It’s hard to see from the video, there’s a lot of touching of parts that usually don’t touch, and it seems to happen pretty quickly. Bonaduce did mention, “I’m sorry he got hurt.” Alright, and I’m sure you mean it. Supposedly Fairplay had to go through 2 ½ hours of dental surgery after the attack. I don’t think that’s anything shocking in and of itself, that’s what it takes for a root canal. But I’m sure he had some significant mouth injuries, and no matter what he’s probably in a lot of pain. “It knocked one tooth out and then it moved three others. One tooth is, like, shattered eight times.” Well I’d say if nothing else, it’s a good moral lesson for the rest of us: no matter what he does, don’t jump on Danny Bonaduce. Good to know.

Update by Jaybird: The District Attorney has decided not to charge Bonaduce with any crime, noting “It did not appear that the suspect intentionally tried to cause injuries, but simply reacted to the victim’s actions.”