There are some celebrities that would probably make a really great sister — such as Jennifer Lawrence, Mindy Kaling, or Jennifer Garner — and many more who would be positively insufferable to share parents with. I’d dislike it immensely if Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, or January Jones (even though I love her hair) was my sister.

Also on the bad list? Julia Roberts.

It was only a few years ago when the Enquirer reported that Julia made rude and obnoxious comments about her sister’s weight, and it was said that she was “disgusted” by Nancy’s appearance to such a degree that she was rolling her eyes and making terrible comments behind Nancy’s back. At the time of that story, it was said that Nancy was so upset that she wasn’t speaking to Julia at all, but I guess they made up in time for Nancy to invite Julia to be a bridesmaid at her upcoming weekend. Julia has turned her sister down, but it actually sounds like she has a good reason. Here are the details from this week’s issue of the Enquirer:

Julia Roberts is staying away form her sister’s wedding, a source says, because she hates the groom and doesn’t want to get stuck with the bill!

Nancy Motes — the star’s younger half sister — asked her famous sibling to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming nuptuals to John Dilbeck. Julia not only said “no” — she’s even refusing to go as a guest, the source added.

“Julia doesn’t think much of Nancy’s husband-to-be,” revealed an inisder. “She’s convinced he’s sponging off Nancy, who doesn’t have that much money in the first place. They moved out to L.A. from Georgia, and John was working at a panda Extress restaurant. But he quit his job after Nancy landed a gig as a production assistant on “Glee.”

John recently made a splash by getting down on bended knee and proposing to Nancy in front of cast and crew members on the Hollywood set of the hit FOX show. Ironically, the source says it was Julia who got Nancy the job by pulling strings with show creator Ryan Murphy, who directed the 45-year-old actress in the film Eat Pray Love.

This is just the latest in a long list of battles between the sisters. In 2005, Julia exploded when she caught nancy, 37, snapping pictures of her then-newborn twins, Phinnaeus and Hazel, at the actress’ home in Taos, N.M. And in 2011, the two got into a heated fight after Julia made disparaging remarks about Nancy’s weight.

“Now Julia won’t go to her wedding because she’s worried Nancy will try to tap her for more money,” said the insider. Apparently the sisters’ mom, Betty Motes, is trying to play peacemaker and patch up the feud before Nancy walks down the aisle later this year. But the insider said: “Julia told her not to hold her breath.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, May 20, 2013]

I can’t blame Julia for not wanting to be taken advantage of to pay for Nancy’s wedding. Not only is a fancy ceremony not essential, but if Nancy’s betrothed is as much of a freeloader as this story indicates, then Julia is right to suspect that she’d be asked to open her wallet. Sure, Julia has more than enough money readily available to pay without blinking, but I firmly believe that adults should be able to pay for their own nuptuals. Parents or siblings can help out if they volunteer to do so, but a bride insisting that someone else pay for “her day” is just childish and wrong.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Isn’t this bizarre? We rarely get paparazzi photos of Julia Roberts these days, and magically this weekend there are all of these photos of not just Julia, but Julia with her husband Danny Moder. And they’re holding hands and walking arm in arm and stuff. Weird! Is this some kind conspiracy pushback that I’m unaware of? I see blind items about A-list actresses and their low-key husbands all the time, and most of the guesses are always about Julia Roberts or Nicole Kidman. Has there been some kind of major “maybe Julia’s marriage is in trouble” rumor out there, and this is the photo-op pushback? Or am I simply too much of a conspiracy theorist for my own good?

Anyway, yes, Julia and Danny were spotted in Santa Monica on Saturday. Apparently, they had lunch with friends and then went for a surprisingly pap-friendly walk around Santa Monica. What game are you playing, Julia?!?! Alternate theories: one, Julia is trying to remind people she’s still around, maybe because she wants a particular role or project. Two, Julia is about to commence on some kind of huge comeback, and these are the first steps towards easing herself back into the game. That might be it, actually? I could see Julia making an appearance at the Oscars next weekend, then following that up by signing on to some huge role, then she’s part of the big prestige picture August: Osage County, which comes out this fall/winter, and there will be an Oscar campaign for that. And then next year she has another prestigious project, The Normal Heart. So is this The Year of Julia? I wouldn’t hate it. Julia brings out strong opinions and she’s almost always a good interview, and she’s as big of a narcissist as all of the current greats – Julia could out-narcissist Beyonce. I’m just sayin’.

Come on, Julia! Make a comeback!!

PS… I hate her outfit. Those jeans are incredibly unflattering and that whole shirt/jacket combo is terrible.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Have you ever heard Meryl Streep talk about women and the female experience and women’s history and women’s rights and feminism? She’s really into all things womanity. She’s ballsy, smart, dedicated, tough, educated, and political, and she doesn’t apologize for being any of those things. And most people don’t have any problems with her either, because A) she is one of America’s Greatest Treasures and B) she actually seems like a lovely woman in general. The only time anyone has dared to say anything negative about her, it was in the Enquirer, and it sounded like one of her neighbors who was just flat-out jealous of Meryl’s Awesomeness. Other than that, Meryl has proven time and time again that she’s the kind of person who puts her money and time where her mouth is, and that she’ll stand up for women’s rights in particular. Basically, Meryl loves ladies.

But what if Meryl had to go head-to-head with one of the biggest divas out there? What if there was some kind of psychological cage-match between Meryl Streep and… Julia Roberts? What if Julia thought she was (GASP) equal to Meryl?!?

Cast and crew can’t stop rolling their eyes at the diva antics of Julia Roberts, who plays Meryl’s daughter in their new flick, “August: Osage County.”

On location in Oklahoma, both Academy Award-winning stars get fancy-schmancy contract perks like daily flowers in their dressing trailers, special gourmet meals, flat-screen TVs, high-end sound systems, exclusive hair and makeup people, etc. – but when Julia arrived, she instantly bitched that Meryl’s dressing trailer was better than hers and demanded a new one.

“That made Julia happy for about five minutes,” reports my roving reporter, Onda Settalott.

“But then she complained that Meryl’s trailer was closer to the actual set than hers. That really made everyone groan – it was closer by just a few FEET!

“But Julia insisted, so the crew were summoned to make her trailer exactly even with Meryl’s. It’s been one thing after another with Julia, but Meryl just smiles and never says a word. She’s a total pro and won’t let herself get caught up in what she’s privately called ‘childish antics.’ ”

(But things are never equal: Meryl’s won three Oscars, with a whopping 17 nominations; Julia’s won once, with three nominations.)

[From The Enquirer]

So that’s how Meryl rolls. When faced with a wall of narcissism and diva antics, Meryl responds with an eye roll and a mutter, “Such childish antics.” Now, do I 100% believe this? Eh. I definitely think Julia is capable of acting like this. I definitely think that in Julia’s mind, she is always and will always be the biggest star EVER and everyone should act accordingly. But isn’t Meryl Streep the exception to all of that? Doesn’t everyone genuflect and bow down in the presence of Meryl Streep?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler were in NYC for a few days. I don’t know if they’re still in the city or what, although Page Six did a piece about them yesterday. Apparently, George and Stacy made an appearance (together!) at the Chelsea club No. 8 on Tuesday night, after George went solo to a screening of Argo earlier in the evening. Basically, what I’m saying is that Cloons & Keibs are still together. Definitively. For now. What you have to remember, ladies and gents, is that Clooney generally keeps his “steady girls” around for anywhere between one to two years. Sarah Larson lasted more than a year and a half, and Elisabetta Canalis lasted a solid two years. So Stacy’s got some time. She’ll probably make it into March or April of next year, that’s what I’m assuming at this point.

But just because Stacy’s contract isn’t up yet, that doesn’t mean that the tabloids will stop with their “Let’s See If Can Get George Clooney Married” campaign. The latest move comes via The Enquirer. And possibly Julia Roberts…?

Julia Roberts saved George Clooney’s relationship with Stacy Keibler by knocking some sense into the perpetual playboy, say sources. Clooney got cold feet after he and Stacy celebrated their first anniversary as a couple – and that’s when Julia Roberts rushed to the rescue.

“When Julia heard that George was about to end the relationship before it got too serious, she told him Stacy’s a great girl, that he should latch on to her, and that he was too old to keep playing the field,” revealed the insider.

George and Julia were recently together again in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where George is producing ‘August: Osage County’ with an all-star cast including Julia.

When rumors began flying that George was about to dump Stacy, Julia gave him her pep talk, telling him that marriage and children are “more important than all the moves and Oscars,” revealed an insider. “She even told George he should marry Stacy and start a family.”

“George agreed that although he and Stacy had a rough spot, they could still make it work… but he still wasn’t promising anything about getting married!”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Poor Bedhead – Julia Roberts is in her state right now, honking like a GD goose. I wish Julia would just stay out of it so that we can all collectively throw Agent Bedhead into Clooney’s path. “Stacy who…?” he’ll mutter as he writes out a list of all of things Bedhead is going to need as his newest girlfriend. 1. A team of stylists. 2. A new wardrobe. 3. Handcuffs and some rope. Yeah… Julia needs to mind her bidness. In all honesty, I can’t even see Julia cosigning Stacy as a suitable partner for George. I can’t even see Julia acknowledging that any man, anywhere, has any woman but JULIA (!!) in his life.

PS… Does anyone else think that Clooney is physically morphing into Hugh Hefner? Right?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

I kind of miss Julia Roberts. I miss her movies, I miss her narcissism, I miss her star quality. I wish she would… I don’t even know. Make a string of interesting films, maybe? And then promote those films in interview after “IT’S ALL ABOUT JULIA!” interview. She’s got two dramas in pre-production (The Normal Heart and August: Osage County), so we’ll have to wait until next year for another JULIA! publicity tour. But for some reason – ?? – Julia gave an interview to InStyle Magazine’s September issue, and she discussed beauty tips and plastic surgery. People are leading with her “I brush my teeth with baking soda” confession, but I think the real story might be that Julia once again denies that she’s ever been nipped and tucked:

Julia Roberts received one of her best beauty tips ever from her grandfather.

“I brush [my teeth] with baking soda,” she tells InStyle in the magazine’s September issue. “[My grandfather] would put a big heaping mound of it on his toothbrush. He had only one cavity in his entire life.”

Because the actress is so loved for that big, sparkling smile, she’s sure to take care of it.

“Sometimes that’s all I do as far as a regimen goes,” the busy mom says of tooth brushing. “Look, I’m happy if I have on moisturizer and ChapStick! When you’re dressing three people besides yourself, something has to fall away. I’ve learned to always have a big pair of dark sunglasses within arm’s reach before going out.”

When she does have time to primp, Roberts relies on a tip from the late makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin: “‘Mascara, mascara, mascara!’” she recalls, naming Lancôme’s Hypnose as a favorite. “It just makes you look like you’ve had a good nap.”

Would she ever rely on Botox or plastic surgery for the same effect? Probably not.

“I’m pro whatever works for you,” she says of such procedures. “For me, at this point, I’m clinging to my good genes and lots of hugs and kisses from my husband.”

[From People]

Ugh, I hate mascara. I used to wear it when I was in college, but nowadays I just hate mascara so much. Partly it’s because I wear contacts and I hate wearing any eye makeup. As for Julia’s comment on Botox and plastic surgery – “I’m pro whatever works for you… For me, at this point, I’m clinging to my good genes and lots of hugs and kisses from my husband.” That’s interesting. Mostly because I’ve believed for years now that Julia has had her eyes done… and maybe more. I’m glad that Julia isn’t being judgy about those who do go under the knife, but I don’t think that she’s JUST “clinging to her good genes.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ever since Julia Roberts married Danny Moder and started having babies, she’s been “on holiday” from Hollywood. Which is fine – a little Julia goes a long way. Over the past eight years, she’s turned in some interesting performances here and there – she was grossly miscast in Closer and Duplicity, but I actually enjoyed her in Charlie Wilson’s War (which is overall a GREAT movie that I would highly recommend). I recently tried watching Eat, Pray, Love but I kept turning it off because the film was awful, her character was a whiner and Julia was apparently the only actor in the film who got to have good lighting – everybody else looked like hell. Julia’s last film foray was the disastrous-looking Mirror Mirror, which came and went from theaters earlier this year, making $160 million overall, most of it overseas. That’s not bad – and probably better box office than the film really deserved. What is my point? My point is that Julia barely works these days, and when she does, it’s rarely some critical darling or huge hit. So if an out-of-work A-lister quits Hollywood, does anyone even care? Well, that’s sort of the point of this Enquirer story. Julia might “quit” Hollywood because she wants to be a hippie in Hawaii. Who doesn’t?

Julia Roberts has gone from glamorous A-list superstar to country bumpkin at her Malibu eco-mansion – and now friends say she’s ready to quit TinselTown altogether to run a sustainable farm in Hawaii.

Julia, 44, raises chicken and goats, using the eggs and milk to feed her family. She also grows organic lettuce, celery, squash and tomatoes, and she fig, lemon, peach, avocado and orange trees on her property.

“Julia has been into healthy eating for some time, but she got even more interested in it after deciding to lose the 10 pounds she gained while playing the Evil Queen in ‘Mirror, Mirror’,” said the course. “Julia became really fanatical about the food her family was eating – everything had to be organic or homegrown if possible. She’s even considering moving to Hawaii where her family vacations every year, so they can live off the land, bask in the sun and surf 365 days a year.”

Julia’s Earth Mother ways aren’t limited to food. She’s banned all plastic, gets 85 percent of her home’s energy from solar panels, and she and her husband Danny Moder both drive hybrid cars.

Julia also hates using e-mail and social networks like Facebook and Twitter and won’t let her kids – twins Hazel and Finn, 7, and Henry, 5 – go online. She also severely limits their TV viewing time.

“She’s turning into a real hippie,” said the source. “She really believes she’s much happier and healthier living down on the farm.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

I’m assuming that Julia is not out there, toiling in her fields day after day? She has a farming staff, right? And does she really grow all of that stuff on her Malibu estate? That seems less like a vegetable patch and more like… I don’t even know. And it’s all in Malibu? That’s some valuable real estate, so those are like the most precious vegetables ever. ELITIST! No, I get it. I mean, I understand how someone (rich) could say, “Screw this Malibu mansion and exquisite Malibu farm, I’m going to go be a hippie in Hawaii and surf every day and run a sustainable farm.” Because, seriously, why not?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

It sometimes feels like The Enquirer has a Julia Roberts story every other week. I don’t know if someone vaguely related to Julia just loves to talk sh-t about her (maybe) or if the Enquirer is hopelessly out of touch with what’s going on with the younger celebrities (definitely). In any case, here’s this week’s Julia story: Julia loves to shop at thrift stores, consignment shops and the Goodwill. I actually enjoyed this story because I think the Enquirer is encouraging us to judge Julia as “cheap” and “tacky” but I think being thrifty is a refreshing trait in a celebrity:

She may get a $20-million-per-picture paycheck, but movie star Julia Roberts is still a die-hard bargain hunter when it comes to clothes. Instead of buying her three kids the latest designer duds like other celebrity parents, Julia prefers “gently used” threads from the local thrift store!

“Julia loves hitting the Goodwill and consignment stores in New Mexico and Arizona,” said a close source. “She’ll go almost anywhere in search of a good deal!”

When Julia, Danny Moder and their three kids are at the family’s ranch in Taos, Julia often piles the clan into the car to head off to Santa Fe and Albuquerque in search of a great buy.

“Heck, she’s been known to travel all the way to Tucson for a weekend of shopping at second-hand stores,” the source continued. “She refers to the clothes as ‘gently used’, ‘previously owned’ or, her favorite term, ‘vintage.’ She’ll come home from an outing at a thrift store with her armful of clothes for the kids and happily exclaim, ‘Look what I got for just ten bucks!’”

And Julia isn’t above wearing secondhand clothing either. Julia once reportedly fell for a floral-print dress she spotted in the window of a thrift shop in downtown Santa Fe, but realized she’d left her wallet in the car when she went to pay for it. So the frugal gal took off her jeans and swapped them for the frock!

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

You know what? For the most part, when you’re talking about kids’ clothes, I really don’t understand why you would NOT shop at thrift stores and the Goodwill. Does that make me cheap and tacky too? Kids outgrow their clothes really fast, and as long as you wash the second-hand clothes after you buy them, who cares? As for shopping for yourself – well, some people just like those vintage-y, dated clothes that you can find at thrift stores. I once got a great pair of jeans with the most stellar boot cut ever. It was just the right amount of flare. I loved them and I wore them to death and I think I paid like $5 for them. Thrift-store shopping is an art, and I salute Julia for refining her talents. Plus, it’s just a good way to save some money. You don’t think Julia still commands $20 million per picture, do you?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night was the LA premiere of Jesus Henry Christ, the film which Julia Roberts co-produced with her sister Lisa. Julia doesn’t star in the film – it features performances by Michael Sheen and Toni Collette, two wonderful actors. But Julia was still THE STAR of the red carpet, meaning that she was the most photographed person there, and considering Julia’s red carpet appearances are few and far between, let’s talk about her! What do you think of her school-girl ensemble? Eh. While I like that Julia is the rare over-40s actress who doesn’t feel the need to tart it up and show off too much skin, I feel like this look is “too young” in a completely different way. I actually thought Julia was in costume as a Catholic school-girl for a moment, you know? Still, the dress looks comfortable. And Julia still has those great legs.

Does anyone else think Julia needs to stop parting her hair down the center? She needs to mix it up with a side part, I think.

Julia’s little niece Emma was there too. She went monochromatic as well. I would love to see Julia and Emma switch outfits – Julia in the smart suit, Emma in the high-necked black dress. Right? They should have switched.

And here’s Michael Sheen! So cute. Rachel McAdams was not with him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

A few short years ago, Hollywood was really trying to make Emma Roberts happen. She was the new Nancy Drew and also starred in family friendly movies like Hotel for Dogs and Aquamarine. Then she had a bit role in Valentine’s Day and a larger one in Scream 4, but something seemed to fall apart in the aftermath to the point where — despite all the nepotism (which Emma has denied exists) that comes with being Julia Roberts’ niece — Emma decided it was a good idea to star in a movie called The Girl with the Tramp Stamp Tattoo. What gives?

In the meantime, Emma has been dating and dumping Chord Overstreet, whom she was rumored to have treated badly, and she’s just gotten back together with him, but he looks embarrassed to be seen with her. That’s not the only bit of strangeness in Emma’s life right now though, for she deferred college after one semester, and this week’s issue of the Enquirer has a story about how Emma has been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately. So much so that Aunt Julia wants to save her “wild child niece” with some “tough love” to prevent Emma from becoming “next Lindsay Lohan.” Ouch.

Julia Roberts has stepped in to save her wild-child niece Emma from self-destructing, say insiders. Pals say the 21-year-old actres went off the rails after breaking up with “Glee” hunk Chord Overstreet in January, and now her concerned aunt is begging Emma to move in with her and her family in a desperate attempt to avert a full-scale meltdown.

“Emma is out of control,” revealed a close source. “Ever since she and Chord split, she’s been on a tear. She’s been partying hard in nightclubs and at Hollywood functions even though she’s barely of legal drinking age.”

Emma got tongues waggng while she was still dating Chord by flirting with 40-year-old actor-ricker Jared Leto at a Hollywood hotspot. And before that, the starlet reportedly needed to be carried out of a Michigan nightclub after partying up a storm at her Scream 4 co-star Hayden Panettiere’s 21st birthday celebration.

Her behavior is a huge red flag to her aunt. “She told Emma it woul be best if she moved in for a while with her, her husband Danny and their three kids,” said the source. “Julia thinks their calm, family-centric lifestyle will mellow her niece. She isn’t going to stand around and watch Emma crash and burn like so many other young stars.”

The Pretty Woman beauty is said to be “especially unhappy” about the movie Emma’s currently filming, Adult World, in which she plays an adut bookstore worker, according to another source.

“Julia feels Emma’s new movie will give her the wrong image,” said the second source. “She feels if she can have some control over Emma she can help her avoid some of the pitfalls of the business.”

Although Emma’s rep denies that her conduct has become a big concern to Julia, the young actress’ behavior is especially troubling because substance abuse runs in the family. Her dad, actor Eric Roberts, appeared on “Celebrity Rehab” in 2010 to kick a longtime addiction to marijuana.

[From Enquirer, print edition, April 23, 2012]

It’s rather hilarious to think that Julia would be concerned about Emma acting in a film that contains potentially risque subject matter when Julia herself rose to fame immediately after playing a prostitute, right? As far as the drinking and partying is concerned, Emma’s a 21-year-old woman. She was never caught engaging in underage drinking, and she’s got no DUIs just yet. If this story is true, then Julia probably can’t stop Emma from eventually going off the rails if that’s the direction in which she’s truly headed. Right now, it’s too soon to tell. In other words, this is probably a made-up story.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Last night was the big LA premiere of Mirror, Mirror, the horrible-looking version of Snow White with hairy Lily Collins as Snow and Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. Ordinarily, I would make Julia the lead, because Julia rarely does red carpets these days so it’s always notable when she does. However, Julia looked meh, and I’d rather focus my attention on little Lily. First of all, I like Lily’s Dolce & Gabbana dress. It’s appropriate for her age (23) and frame (petite but not child-like). It’s also occasion-appropriate – her first big lead role in a big studio film. This is her “coming out” as a movie star, and the dress fits.

But seriously, let’s talk about the hair situation. And I mean ALL of the hair. Look, I understand that Lily is hellbent on keeping her eyebrows as-is, but this hairstyle just makes me think that she actually IS embarrassed by them. Because these bangs cover most of the eyebrows, it feels like she gave herself bangs on purpose instead of simply tweezing. Still, you can see some of the eyebrows peeking out. And it’s… not a good situation. Once again, she’s a pretty little thing – my only issue is with this one grooming issue. I don’t even mind her bangs, and you know how I feel about bangs. I know, I know. Some of you are brow-accepting, but I just find it so distracting, especially because now she’s doing the peekaboo brows. I just feel like she would look so much prettier if she just took off some of those hairs that are trying to make their way into a full-fledged unibrow.

And here’s Julia in a pantsuit, with the director. My mom always loved Julia back in the day, and my dad always said, “She’s pretty now, but she’s not going to age well.” He was right.

Last thing: did you know Sean Bean was in this movie??!?!? He plays the King. OMG. I’m so embarrassed for him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.