It’s not surprising that Madonna has a lot of rage built up in her. She seems like the very angry, bitter, petty, spiteful sort. Not to be too descriptive or anything. Apparently Madonna’s rage at Guy Ritchie is so severe that she’s in anger management at the Kabbalah centre in New York. And why shouldn’t she be seething with bile? She’s obviously the victim in this whole thing.

MADONNA is having intense Kabbalah “anger management” counselling to deal with her fury against GUY RITCHIE — as the couple’s bitter divorce takes its toll. The 50-year-old singer, who was last night in Montreal for a concert on her world tour, is expected to head back to New York this weekend to visit the city’s Kabbalah Centre.

She also has a counsellor from the mystical Jewish faith who accompanies her on the road to help handle her boiling rage over the split. Sources say Madge — mum to daughter Lourdes, 12, son Rocco, eight, and adopted tot David Banda — is furious over Guy’s money demands and the way ugly details of their relationship have leaked out.

“She is getting help from a Kabbalah counsellor who is helping her try to put aside her anger, so they can settle the divorce as quickly as possible for the sake of the children. The counsellor is telling her she will meet her soulmate — but first has to calm her anger.”

One pal said: “Madonna feels that Guy is being a gold-digger, and she is furious that he feels entitled to a lot of money from her. She feels he didn’t contribute as much as her during the marriage so shouldn’t expect to take so much away. She has turned to Kabbalah to sooth her rage, and is getting intense counselling on the road and at the Kabbalah Centre in New York.”

Madge was seen leaving the Centre last week during a brief break from her gruelling Sticky & Sweet tour. Kabbalah teaches that to find a real soulmate a person must put aside anger and will to win in a relationship — and become a better person. Its relationship advice reads: “Difficulties and disagreements are without exception opportunities for us to become that right person.”

[From the Sun]

I seriously doubt there are very many people that would be willing to deal with the inherent misery that would come with spending any amount of time with Madonna – for any amount of money. Let alone men that would want to marry her. I know there’s a couple out there, but I think they must have some serious issues and want to be degraded and treated with cold abandon. Madonna was lucky to be able to find a guy who brought about twenty million dollars into the relationship. She should expect that she’ll have to buy off whoever she ends up with in some way.

And wasn’t she the one who started talking shit about her marriage the very day they announced their divorce? Clearly she has some anger issues – they’re so severe that she has to put them on everyone else because she can’t handle how much blame should be aimed at herself. Luckily mystical Kabbalah will help sort it all out.

Here’s Madonna arriving at the New York Kabbalah centre with her kids last night. Images thanks to WENN.

Madonna, the woman with an ego that knows no bounds, has declared herself “an Ambassador for Judaism.” I’m pretty sure most people consider her an ambassador for narcissistic personality disorder, but don’t ever say that to Madonna or her red string bracelet. Madonna took a trip to Israel for Rosh Hashanah, along with husband Guy Ritchie, Rosie O’Donnell, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Donna Karan. If Ashton Kutcher doesn’t lend legitimacy to the stars’ love of Kabbala, I don’t know what does.

“Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie rang in the Jewish new year with Israeli President Shimon Peres and declared herself an ‘ambassador for Judaism,’ local newspapers reported Sunday. The singer arrived in Israel on Wednesday, the eve of Jewish new year, to attend a conference on Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism.

The 49-year-old Material Girl met Peres at his Jerusalem residence on Saturday evening and the two exchanged gifts. Peres gifted Madonna with a lavishly bound copy of the Jewish Bible. She gave Peres a volume of The Book of Splendor, the guiding text of Kabbalah, inscribed ‘To Shimon Peres, the man I admire and love, Madonna,’ the Yediot Ahronot daily reported.

“‘You don’t know how popular the Book of Splendor is among Hollywood actors,’ Madonna told Peres, according to the Yediot. ‘Everyone I meet talks to me only about that. I am an ambassador for Judaism.’”

[From Us Weekly]

Um… yeah. Too many ways to mock. Can’t choose. Hurting brain. So let’s talk about people’s reactions in Israel. They’re not too pleased. Kabbala is only supposed to be taught to Jews. Madonna is not Jewish and has never converted. It’s also only supposed to be taught to strictly adherent Jews, generally Orthodox Jews, who have learned the Talmud backwards and forwards (so to speak… if you’re Jewish, you get the joke) and meticulously follow all of the commandments. So Madonna – and I’m guessing most of Hollywood – is pretty much out. A lot of rabbis have been pretty offended by her inclusion in Kabbala in general, and her flouting the rules of the religion. Her stupid quotes don’t help either.

“Orthodox teachers of Kabbala reacted with disdain Sunday to pop idol Madonna’s Rosh Hashana visit in Israel, during which she took part in a study session of Judaism’s most esoteric texts. ‘It is a known fact in Kabbala that impurity and evil are inherently attracted to sanctity,’ said a director of one of the most respected Kabbala yeshivot in Jerusalem who preferred that he and his institution remain anonymous.

“‘That’s why people of Hollywood, a place of iniquity and lasciviousness, are naturally attracted to the holiness of Kabbala.’ The director of the yeshiva said he was explaining a basic Kabbalistic concept according to which ‘sparks’ of holiness tightly connected to ‘shells’ of impurity are waiting to be let free. These ‘shells’ [klipot] are naturally attracted to their polar opposite – holiness.

“Rabbi Yitzhak Batzri, son of Jerusalem-based kabbalist David Batzri, head of the Shalom Yeshiva, said that it was forbidden to teach Kabbala to non-Jews such as Madonna.”

[From The Jerusalem Post]

Did he just call Madonna evil? I think he just called her evil! And I laughed and agreed. I think it’s great to be interested in other religions, and there’s a lot we all can learn by exploring them. But it’s incredibly important to be respectful of that religion’s rules. If Judaism strictly states that you have to be a strictly adherent Jew to read the kabbalist texts, than it’s important to respect that. I live in a Orthodox/Hassidic community in New York, and though I’m not Jewish, I can’t help but respect their piousness. It annoys me that I can’t shop on Saturdays… or this past week because of Rosh Hashana… and some other dates I never know about until I walk to the grocery store and find it’s closed… but it’s a nice place to live, and it’s interesting to see people constantly reading the Talmud on the subway instead of reading Hustler. I don’t quite understand why Madonna hasn’t converted, but it’s none of my business and she doesn’t have to explain her spirituality to the rest of us. I do think it’d be nice if she made it a little more personal and a little less commercial though.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Madonna’s exercising with her famous red string bracelet. Images thanks to PR Photos. Header image of Madonna and Guy Ritchie meeting Israeli President Shimon Peres in Jerusalem on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.