Mario Lopez, who by some misguided soul at People Magazine just got named their bachelor of the year, says that he would be with Eva Longoria now if they’d ever been single at the same time.

Lopez says, “We never dated. Unfortunately. We met a long time ago, and she was always with somebody or I was with somebody. But we hit it off and I have the utmost respect for her.

“Tony Parker is a lucky guy. I was in (sic) her wedding. I walked her mum down the aisle.”

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Now Mario, it might have been that even if you had dated Eva, she still would have met and fallen madly in love with Tony Parker, who happens to be a lot more loaded that you are.

Of course, what also might have happened is you might have split up because you’ve been f***ing a Hooters waitress. Or a singer. Or a wannabe singer that works at Hooters. Which is how his relationship with Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff ended.

Or, you might have split up with her two weeks into your marriage, after cheating on her during the week leading up to your wedding. Which is how his marriage to Ali Laundry ended.

This, according to People Magazine, is the best that the male population has to offer. Mario tells the magazine that he is looking for a woman who is ‘modest’, not ‘uppity or affluent’. I think this means he’s looking for a woman who doesn’t stick up for herself and doesn’t publicly call him out on his philandering.

Mario Lopez is shown promoting his fitness book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness, on 5/15/08 and on Broadway before appearing in A Chorus Line on 6/5/08, thanks to WENN. He is with Eva Longoria in that stunt they pulled for “Pop Fiction” in which he gave her a necklace in front of the paparazzi in March.

A.C. Slater - er, I mean Mario Lopez- and his “Dancing With the Stars” partner Karina Smirnoff have split, according to reports. I guess that means that they were actually dating- which both of them have denied at various times throughout the relationship. It also means that Karina either: A) was a willing beard for Slater; or B) has a penis.

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars pro dancer Karina Smirnoff have recently split, a source confirms to PEOPLE.

The couple, who met during Dancing’s third season, never publicly acknowledged their relationship despite the fact that the pair were living together in Lopez’s Los Angeles home. A source tells PEOPLE Smirnoff is moving out of Lopez’s digs.

Lopez’s personal rep, Lisa Perkins, says, “It’s my policy to not comment on my client’s personal life.”

Smirnoff, who is now competing on Dancing’s sixth season with R&B star Mario, has been spotted recently with E! Entertainment personality Michael Yo. The two were seen dancing and canoodling at a recent event at Hollywood eatery Beso.

Lopez, meanwhile, is starring in A Chorus Line on Broadway, and recently returned to the ballroom with 18 Chorus Line dancers to tape a synchronized number to air on Dancing’s 100th episode on May 6. He’s also about to embark on a national tour to promote his upcoming book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness.

[From People]

Unless there is a sex tape somewhere, there is no way I believe these two were any more than platonic friends. It’s not that Karina isn’t gorgeous enough for Slater- it’s just that she’s the wrong gender. Maybe Mario will finally find the strength to come out after spending some time on Broadway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Note by Celebitchy: Karina Smirnoff denies they broke up, and tells People “We’re going on strong. As much as I love and appreciate the attention, this isn’t true. For the record, I am not moving out. Everything is great.”

At least she was honest about loving the attention, but you have to think that they either have a rocky relationship, have been broken up for a while, an/dor that she may have leaked the rumor to whip Lopez into shape.

Last November, Lopez completely denied ever having dated Smirnoff despite all the photographic evidence, and told Life & Style that “We were never dating. I don’t know where that rumor started.”

So when I heard they broke up I assumed it was ages ago, but maybe Lopez is just the type who won’t commit but is more than willing to get the milk for free. Smirnoff is a lovely woman who deserves much better.

I don’t think he’s of the other persuasion, but MSat could be right.

Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez are shown on 3/6/08 at the opening of Beso Restaurant, thanks to PRPhotos.

I pretty much ignore these reality show couples because I get enough trashy gossip from the news without being subjected to the fattening goodness that is American reality television. It also seems like the celebrities that are created by these shows are somehow less worthy than your average actor, actress, or model, but maybe Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have ruined it for all aspiring reality stars.

As only a casual observer of the Dancing With the Stars relationship between Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff, it seemed real enough to me. After all, there were makeout bikini pictures and everything, and if that doesn’t spell relationship I don’t know what does. Lopez hooked up with his professional dance partner Smirnoff on the show last year and the two were seen everywhere together. There was even news this spring that they were moving in together, but all Lopez would admit was that “they were great friends” and had “a very special relationship.”

Lopez hasn’t changed his story, and instead of admitting that they’re no longer together, he’s insisting they were just friends the entire time and never lived together. Maybe this is true and a mountain was just made out of a publicity molehill:

“We [Karina and I] were always friends,” he told Life & Style at EA’s Need for Speed ProStreet video game launch party on November 14. “We were never dating. I don’t know where that rumor started.” Photos tell a different story. And weren’t they living together? “No, no, I live… that’s not the case,” he insisted. “I haven’t seen her. I’ve been out of town.”

[From Life & Style print edition, December 3, 2007]

These two hit every red carpet together and were often photographed holding hands and kissing, and Lopez says he doesn’t know how that rumor started. This is the guy who was married for two whole weeks, so it’s not like he’s has a high level of maturity. He’s also “just friends” with Eva Longoria, and has been the subject of gay rumors. It sounds to me like he’s just an asshole.

Lopez and Smirnoff are shown on 10/6/07 at his birthday party, so they must have broken up recently. They are also seen out at a 50 Cent show on 9/8/07, and holding hands in Paris on 7/7/07, which must have been for Eva Longoria’s wedding. Look at how she’s looking at him! I want to smack that guy across the face. You can say you’re no longer with someone, but don’t deny that you ever had a relationship, that’s cold!

Thanks to PRPhotos and Splash News for those pictures.