Well, as everyone predicted, the royal-sycophant industry is going like gangbusters since Prince William and Catherine “Not So Waity Katie Now, Bitches” Middleton announced their engagement on Tuesday. Do you know how powerful, how agile, how prepared the royal-sycophant industry is? Crazily so. I was shocked on Tuesday morning how many “royal correspondents” and “royal experts” came out within minutes of the announcement. It’s like there’s some kind of Royalist BatPhone that connects straight into the cave that holds Piers Morgan and Kitty Kelly and Tina Brown. Anyway, People Magazine got an “exclusive” with Kitty Kelly, who is basically just theorizing about what could happen at the wedding. Meanwhile, people (“royal watchers”) are saying that Will and Kate spent most of Wednesday in high-level wedding talks with Buckingham Palace. Here’s more from People:

Prince William and fiancée Kate Middleton are suddenly knee deep in wedding planning. And like your average commoners, it sounds like they’ll be fielding friendly advice from just about everyone.

In a statement on Wednesday, his office said: “Prince William and Miss Middleton have spent the morning in meetings with Household staff about the wedding. An announcement about venue and date will be made in due course after other Members of the Royal Family, Mr. and Mrs. Middleton and the Government have been consulted.”

Of course, unlike your average commoners, William and Kate’s decisions about their big day are eagerly anticipated by literally billions of people. While we wait, let’s break down some of the possibilities.

When will it happen? July 8 is said to be a favored date, but July 29 is a strong possibility, too, as that is the 30th anniversary of William’s mother Diana’s marriage to Prince Charles.

Where will it happen? The couple have said London, which likely means either St. Paul’s Cathedral or Westminster Abbey. The former is where Charles and Diana married in 1981. The latter holds sad memories for William, as his mother’s funeral was held there in 1997.

Who will be the best man? Almost certainly William’s brother, Prince Harry.

What does the engagement ring signify? “The whole world knows it was Princess Diana’s engagement ring, and even though her marriage to Will’s father turned out to be so abysmal, there was so much hope and happiness in the beginning,” Kitty Kelley, author of The Royals, tells PEOPLE. “If his mother were alive, she’d probably give him that ring to give to this young woman.”

What titles will the couple have? There are only a few prominent titles left. These are the dukedoms of Clarence, Cambridge and Sussex. None of these have any distinct connection to William, but they are senior titles and would be “eminently suitable,” according to a heraldry expert.

Is it okay to marry a commoner? “It’s the 21st century,” says Kelley. “I know that the British press is making a lot out of that. … I think it’s very hurtful. I think the story has worn itself out, and it should wear itself out.”

What will Kate do for work? She has said she is looking forward to making a “difference,” adding: “I’m willing to learn quickly and work hard.” Like all royals, she will gradually build up patronages that match her interests. She already supports the Starlight charity, which helps terminally and severely ill children, and is “winding down” her current work with her parents’ party supply business.

Will the public embrace Kate? “She is the wife of Princess Diana’s first-born son and the heir to the throne,” Kelley says. “Oh, I think there will be great goodwill extended towards her.”

Could the reign ever pass over Charles to William? “No. No. Never,” Kelley says. “The only way is if Charles found himself under a bus and run over and it would pass from the Queen to Wills. There are a lot of people who would like to see it that way, but it won’t happen that way.”

Will this wedding help the Royal Family? “I do think the marriage will reboot the monarchy,” says Kelley. “Many in England are getting sick of footing the bills of the Royal Family. There’s a small movement that wants to demolish the monarchy. This wedding will help them because this will bring a lot of goodwill to the monarchy.”

[From People]

My favorite of all of the royal watchers/experts/reporters/sycophants, The Mail’s Katie Nicholl says that she wouldn’t be surprised if the wedding date was earlier than June or July. She thinks it could even be as soon as April. We’ll see on that one. Oh, and Kate was seen at Westminster yesterday – so chances are pretty good that that’s the locale for the wedding.

What else… oh, apparently, Princess Diana’s ring didn’t even have to be resized for Kate. It fit perfectly! And this blue dress that Kate wore for her whirlwind announcement and stuff? It’s from the label Issa, which is Kate’s favorite, and which she wears often. Some people think Issa’s designer, a Brazilian living and working in the UK named Daniella Issa Helayel, will be asked to do the wedding dress. I’m not so sure – Issa is a solid label for the girlfriend of a prince, for sure. Not so much for a princess, and not for her wedding day. In the past, Kate has worn Issa’s simple, easy (budget Gucci?) silhouettes, and she always looks nice, but she looks like she picked out some nice dresses at a mall – for real. Kate has a reputation as a conservative dresser, but I’d just like to point out that many of the dresses she chooses would look totally trashy on a girl with bigger boobs – lots of low-cut, clingy silk jersey and loud, bright colors that Kate only looks “conservative” in because she’s slender and has a small bust. I really hope Kate picks out a more traditional designer for her wedding gown.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Earlier, I mentioned that I had never heard Kate Middleton’s voice, and some commenters were good enough to point me in the direction of a few YouTube clips of her saying various things. From those clips, I thought Kate’s voice sounded surprisingly nasal, and it wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Now William and Kate have sat down for their “engagement interview” – and Kate’s voice sounds different. It’s like she’s taken diction classes – she sounds like she’s trying to sound posh. Also – this talking out of the side of one’s mouth thing has got to stop. It’s The Katie Holmes Syndrome. Here are some highlights from the interview clips I could find – the sit-down part of the interview starts at around 6:30…

William on Kate filling his mother’s shoes: “It’s about carving your own future. No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes.”

Giving Middleton, 28, his mother’s engagement ring “is my way of keeping her close to it all,” he said. His mother was killed in a car crash in 1997, the year after she and William’s father, Prince Charles, divorced.

“I would love to have met her,” Middleton said. “She was an inspirational woman.”

Of their wedding, the prince, 28, said, “Obviously, she is not going to be around to share in the fun and excitement of it all.”

The two appeared more jovial when discussing their engagement and eight-year relationship. The prince revealed that he carried around his mother’s engagement ring in Kenya in a rucksack for three weeks before he popped the question. William said he had been planning to pop the question for a while but added, “As every guy out there will know, it takes time a certain amount of motivation to get yourself going.”

William on becoming a father: “I think we’ll take it one step at a time. We’ll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want a family so we’ll have to start thinking about that.”

Kate on their 2007 breakup: “Well I think if you do go out with someone for quite a long time you do get to know each other very, very well, you go through the good times, you go through the bad times. I think if you can come out of that stronger and learn things about yourself, it certainly, it’s been a good how many years?”

[From The Mirror]

Does anyone else get the feeling that William wants to make damn sure that Kate doesn’t over-shadow him like his mother always over-shadowed Charles? And Will is partly cute about Kate and the engagement, but he’s also… I don’t know… it’s like he’s still very reticent about all of it. Read the whole interview transcript here.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Just a short time ago, Kate Middleton and Prince William did their first photo-op as an engaged couple – a brief appearance where Will and Kate actually got to be arm-in-arm with one another, and answer a few questions, and most importantly, Kate got to flash the RING. William proposed to Kate using his mother’s engagement ring – a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds. William took the ring from his mother’s Kensington Palace apartment days after Diana died (Harry took her Cartier watch). I have to admit, I find it really sweet (and only slightly cheap) that William gave Kate his mother’s ring. True story: neither Diana nor Charles picked out the sapphire. Queen Elizabeth picked it out.

Also, Kate’s parents are speaking out too (photos of them below):

Kate Middleton’s parents are thrilled Prince William has proposed.

“I would just like to say that Carole and I are absolutely delighted by today’s announcement and thrilled by the prospect of a wedding sometime next year,” her father Michael Middleton said Tuesday.

The prince and Middleton, both 28, have been dating for eight years, after meeting at St. Andrews University in Scotland.

Said her father, “As you know Catherine and Prince William have been going out for quite a number of years, which is great for us because we have got to know William very well. We think he’s wonderful and we’re extremely fond of him.

“They make a lovely couple,” he also said. “They’re great fun to be with and we’ve had a lot of laughs together. We wish them every happiness for the future.”

[From Us Weekly]

That’s nice. Katie Nicholl at The Mail says that William is actually very close to the Middletons, and he gets along very well with his soon-to-be in-laws. Considering that the Middletons have basically financed Kate’s entire nine year endeavor to score herself a future king, I’d say they deserve a round of applause.

Photos of the Middletons, courtesy of WENN.

I got up early this morning (because I am hungover, ugh), and I was shocked at the Today Show’s first story: the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton! This wasn’t supposed to happen until next year or the year after! Oh, well. It’s all official and everything – William officially proposed to Kate in October while they were in Kenya (on one of their eight annual holidays), and the idea is that they will have the wedding next Spring or Summer (nail it down Kate!) some time. Waity Katie waits no more! After nine long years, she’s going to be a bride, her only goal, ever. Here’s the official statement:

The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince William to Miss Catherine Middleton.

The wedding will take place in the Spring or Summer of 2011, in London. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course.

Prince William and Miss Middleton became engaged in October during a private holiday in Kenya. Prince William has informed The Queen and other close members of his family. Prince William has also sought the permission of Miss Middleton’s father.

Following the marriage, the couple will live in north Wales, where Prince William will continue to serve with the Royal Air Force.

[From People]

People Magazine also has a quote from an “old friend” who claims: “Everyone is absolutely delighted. He has never had eyes for any other woman since Kate came on the scene. She is going to make a wonderful wife, a wonderful princess.” Yeah, he’s never had eyes for anyone else except all of those women that he went off with after dumping Kate multiple times from 2002-2007 (here for Vanity Fair‘s article on the history of their breakups). Granted, 2007-2010 has been a lot more stable for the couple, but enough with the whitewash.

Okay, so I have to eat sh-t for some things, and I have to take credit for some things. Here’s a convenient list:

*I honestly didn’t think the engagement would happen right now. I really did think that William would make Kate wait for another couple of years. My bad.

* I told you Katie Nicholl at The Mail knew what she was talking about. That bitch has sources in the Middleton family. My suspects: Carole Middleton (Kate’s mom) or Kate herself.

*I will take credit for knowing that Kate’s parents appearance at Balmoral just a few weeks ago was significant, and a good sign for their relationship.

*I really, really wanted Will to dump Kate after she was content to be his doormat, beck-and-call girl for nine long years. I thought it would provide a valuable life lesson to young women all over the world: do not spend that much time waiting around for a ring, and doing nothing else. Get a job, do some charity work, make the dude wait around for you once in a while. Instead, little girls are now getting an entirely different life lesson: if you wait long enough and do nothing but run to your man every time he calls, and take him back after he screws around on you repeatedly, then you too can win the big prize of a ring. Ugh.

That being said, congratulations to the happy couple. I’m really looking forward to the engagement interview – I’ve never heard Kate’s voice before.

Here’s the Today Show’s video for the engagement announcement:

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.

I’ve finally gotten a chance to read Us Weekly’s full cover story this week, all about how Kate Middleton and Prince William are finally going to officially get engaged next year. Sort of. Maybe. The whole cover story is based on Katie Nicholl’s new book, William and Harry: Behind the Palace Walls, which we’ve already previewed here. The story is pretty basic, and Nicholl makes very similar assumptions to what I’ve made. For example, when Kate’s parents came to Balmoral last week, it was “extremely significant” because they were “being taught a favorite royal pursuit” while actually at a ROYAL residence. SHOCK. Here are some other highlights:

- Sources confirm to Katie Nicholl/Us Weekly that the engagement will definitely happen in 2011: “The engagement will be announced in 2011,” a source says.

- When the Palace deigned to reply to Us Weekly’s question about an engagement, they were told that the Palace does not comment “on the private loves of Prince William or Ms. Middleton.” Because Kate’s name was included in the “no comment,” Us Weekly is about to pee themselves. This is the first time (?) that Kate’s name has been included in a “no comment”.

- In 2007, “while on vacation in the Seychelles after reuniting from their second breakup” Kate and Will made a “secret pact” with Will promising her that he would marry her eventually if she would just wait for him several more years. Nicholl says: “Kate wanted assurances from William… For the first time, they discussed quite seriously the subject of marriage. William told Kate she was The One, but he was not ready to get married. She…agreed to wait for him.”

- On the importance of doing stuff in 2011, Nicholl says, “2011 wouls be Diana’s 50th birthday and also the 30th anniversary of her wedding to his father. This will be William’s way to make sure his mother’s memory won’t be forgotten on the most important day of his life.”

- About Kate’s potential wedding dress: She’ll probably consider her favorite brand, Issa, and she “might be pressured to select a British designer.” And she’ll probably be “loaned” a tiara from the queen.

- Why the long wait for an engagement? Nicholl says: “He didn’t want to make the same mistakes” as his parents.

- How do Kate’s parents feel? Carole Middleton, Kate’s mom, “put some pressure on” in 2009. And at the time, “William assured her that there would be an engagement soon.”

- What are Kate and Will doing in the meantime? While Will trains with the Ryal Air Force, Kate “spends a lot of time living with William at his private farmhouse in Wales… they love to stay in watching DVDs, and they love being in the kitchen, cooking British foods like Shepherd’s pie.” Nicholl’s says that William’s advisors told them to quit partying: “Kate was often at London clubs, which we don’t see anymore. There was pressure from his advisors to curb the partying. William’s a man now, and with that comes responsibility.”

- What does the Queen think of Kate? “The Queen was initially concerned that Kate had no focus,” Nicholl says. But now the Queen kind of likes her. Kate also gets along with Charles and Camilla, and Harry thinks of Kate as a sister.

- How does Will feel about this now? “He wants to spend the rest of his life with her.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition and online]

The part about the Queen is especially vague, and I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that Her Majesty is a good judge of character, and if Liz thinks you need to get a job, your ass better get a McDonalds application. Also: do you love the vague description about how Kate has spent her time over the past (NINE) years? Uh… she and Will watch DVDs. And they cook together. That’s it. No job, nothing. She just hangs around, waiting to be proposed to.

As far as the alleged 2007 conversation and Will’s promise to make Kate his bride… eh. Sure, maybe it will happen. The way things have been playing out over the past month, I do believe the engagement stories more than I used to. But at the end of the day, I still don’t have any respect for Kate. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why this is an interesting tabloid story. Kate in and of herself is so f-cking boring and lazy and single-minded, that the story becomes “Why the f-ck does William want to make her the next Princess of Wales?”

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.

It seems the American media just won’t quit with the speculation about Prince William and Kate Middleton. Their “engagement” rumor has taken yet another tabloid cover this week – Us Weekly, the budget People (but Us has better weekly exclusives, for my money). Us hasn’t released their story yet (boo!), but I can guess the general storyline – after nearly nine long years of doing little else but being at a prince’s beck-and-call, Kate is finally so close to her life’s goal (wearing pretty clothes, jewelry and doing nothing) that she can taste it. Throw in some quotes from insider sources about how they’ll probably get married next year, and BAM! There’s your cover story. Did you miss the formula? Don’t worry, CoverAwards has a good compilation here of the dozens of American tabloid cover Kate and Will have already garnered. They are all the same, pretty much.

This whole thing was just discussed over at Jezebel, in a piece called “Quit Trying To Make William & Kate Happen”. The point of the piece was that Americans are bored with the Kate and Will story because they are two insanely boring people. While I agree that they’re boring, I do think people are interested in them, and royalty in general. Plus, the whole “he’s made her wait nine years for it” aspect of the story is compelling, and people have strong feelings about it. Add to that my theory/opinion that Kate is not a role model, but is in fact a lazy do-nothing who should have spent this time – at the very least – building a portfolio of charity work, and it becomes a tabloid story with everyone arguing over their relationship.

One last thing - Vanity Fair has an epic story about Kate and Will online, and it is excessively boring. I was going to excerpt some of it, but there’s nothing interesting or noteworthy. Just like Kate.

Us Weekly cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

Guess what Kate Middleton is doing right now? She’s taking another “holiday” (from doing nothing) with her family. Nothing shocking there – Kate takes about a dozen “holidays” a year. Except that for this holiday, Kate and her folks are spending time at Balmoral (photos here), the private Scottish estate of the Queen – it’s not an official “royal residence” because the British taxpayers don’t have to pay for the upkeep. It’s thousands of acres of solitude, and Kate and her parents have found themselves in the thick of it. This is biggest move the royals have ever come towards publicly “accepting” the Middletons after years of negative rumors. Allegedly, the royal hangers-on, the advisors and such all felt that the Middleton family was simply too middle class to marry into the family. And before this, Kate’s parents were never invited to a royal residence, other than the Prince of Charles’ private home, Highgrove. Once. And Kate and Will have been dating EIGHT YEARS. Ugh. Anyway, The Daily Mail has an epic background story on all of this:

For Carole Middleton and her husband Michael, this was clearly an invitation they couldn’t refuse. Watched by her husband, and assisted by a ghillie who is adjusting the sights of her gun, Mrs Middleton is being shown how to stalk a deer.

The place is the Queen’s Balmoral estate. Their accommodation is Birkhall, the Queen Mother’s charming former home, which now belongs to the Prince of Wales. And their host is Prince William, who is plainly closer than ever to becoming their son-in-law. Kate, the Middletons’ elder daughter – who began going out with the prince when she was 20 – was also there, of course.

She will be 29 in January and her parents can at last begin to believe she’ll be engaged to William – and probably even married – before she is 30.

Significantly, although 28-year-old William has a cottage of his own on the Queen’s Deeside estate, Charles generously offered the grander Birkhall for the visit of Kate’s parents and a handful of other close friends. He also loaned William’s shooting party his personal chauffeur, Tim Williams.

It’s fair to say that Michael Middleton, a former airline despatcher, and ex-air hostess Carole are far from seasoned shots. For them to be invited to Birkhall – lovingly redecorated for Charles by the Duchess of Cornwall – says everything about their daughter’s long haul towards becoming Princess of Wales. If the past eight years have at times been tough for Kate (the paparazzi, a brief separation, the soubriquet ‘Waity Katie’), they have been even harder for her parents.

There have been years of omerta during which Carole Middleton has had to suffer – in silence – the insults and sneers from braying royal sycophants who cannot understand how William has fallen in love with a middle-class girl whose parents are ‘in trade’. Unlike other putative parents-in-law, Carole and Michael cannot indulge in the pleasure of talking to friends and acquaintances about their daughter’s boyfriend – and they certainly cannot wonder out loud why it has taken him so long to propose.

True, Mrs Middleton made a monster faux pas by allowing herself to be seen chewing gum when she attended William’s passing out parade from the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in 2006. But it was nicotine gum. Critics even put it about that when she was presented to the Queen at the passing out parade, she uttered the decidedly non-U greeting ‘Pleased to meet you’ (when she might have said ‘How do you do?’). In fact, at that time the two women did not meet.

At least the oleaginous royal hangers-on have stopped sniggering behind their hands ‘Doors to manual’ when the Middleton women are around, a cheap shot at Carole’s former career. And now, pictured with her husband at Balmoral joining in the country pursuits which are such a crucial element of Royal Family life, she can at last be said to have outlived envious gossip that she was a ‘pushy’ mother and ambitious social climber who sent her beautiful daughter to St Andrews University just because Prince William was going there.

The envy will not stop here, of course. It cannot be denied that the Middletons have profited hugely from their links to the Royal Family. Kate’s younger siblings, James and Pippa, have used their reflected fame to publicise themselves and their businesses, which are related to the online firm, Party Pieces, founded by their parents. James featured in a gushing profile across the glossy pages of Hello! magazine last year. And with admirable marketing finesse, this weekend an interview with Pippa appeared in the Sunday Times’s Style magazine. She invited the paper to meet her in a village pub to talk about the online magazine and catalogue she is launching to flog Party Pieces’ goods.

Carole was also there, apparently on the Dukan Diet (some days, it emerged, lunching on nothing more than prawns and cottage cheese). Could the diet be in anticipation of a wedding, perhaps?

True, they have been to Highgrove, once. But staying at Birkhall is different. It is a very intimate royal residence where houseguests are thrown very much together en famille.

In fact, William and Kate are as good as engaged. An announcement, and a ring, are surely imminent, with a wedding next year. Perhaps because of those early jibes, William has become close to Kate’s parents – and very protective of them. He has holidayed with them in Mustique and sometimes watches television with supper on his lap when staying overnight at their home in the Berkshire commuter village of Bucklebury.

In recent months the prince, who is based at RAF Valley in Anglesey where he is an air-sea rescue helicopter pilot, has been joined by Kate at weekends in his rented white-walled farmhouse. Locals have spotted the couple dashing about on the prince’s Ducati motorbike, dropping into pubs such as the White Eagle at Rhoscolyn. They have also been shopping at the local Tesco in Holyhead. In the farmhouse they look after themselves. There are no domestic staff and they do their own cooking. But they are never completely alone because William’s protection officers are always around.

‘Kate won’t live with William until they’re married,’ says a family friend. ‘That’s why, although it may look odd, she still lives with her parents in Bucklebury.’

Despite all the envy and insults they have faced so far, the portents for Carole and Michael Middleton are surprisingly good. For William is determined to usher in a new era of inclusion, as far as royal in-laws are concerned. The late mother of Captain Mark Phillips – Princess Anne’s first husband – complained bitterly that she and her husband were ‘virtually ignored and never invited to anything’ by the royals once their son had married the Queen’s only daughter.

The same happened to the Spencers, even though Princess Diana’s father had been a former equerry to the Queen and lived on the Sandringham estate. And while the Duchess of York’s father, Major Ron Ferguson, was a popular figure until his death in 2003, he never became close to the Queen even when his daughter’s marriage to Prince Andrew was going well.

William is very aware that his future parents-in-law are stepping into unfamiliar territory. For them it is worse, much worse, than for any other royal in-laws of recent times – because their daughter will one day be Queen. Hence their gentle introduction into his family’s love of country pursuits. Though, looking at the picture, perhaps not so gentle. The normally elegant Carole Middleton looks far from comfortable stretched out on the damp moorland, but then, it’s worth the discomfort for her daughter’s happiness.

[From The Daily Mail]

Personally, I don’t really care that the Middletons are “middle class” or that they don’t share the same aggressively outdoorsy pursuits that the royals seem to adore. Everybody’s different, and I respect the Middletons for making their own wealth, even if they seem to behave like gauche nouveau riche all too often. What bothers me is how Kate has played this relationship, and how she continues to play it. She’s spent the last eight years in a self-imposed exile, not pursuing a career, doing little to no charity work, and allowing her parents and her family to be snubbed and mocked for so long. Also: now Kate even has to deny that she and William are living together! Ugh. Kate is a horrible role model for young women.

Over the weekend, I did a post about these new photos we had of Prince William and Kate Middleton, who attended a wedding and even posed for some lovely photos as they were walking into church. Those photos – and the message they sent – made worldwide news, and a new and more hyperactive round of engagement rumors started up, not the first round that Will and Kate have experienced after eight years together. My take on the situation was that Waity Katy was smug because she knew the photos would buy her lots of positive press about how she could be the next Princess of Wales. I also thought that Will was probably placating her, doing the bare minimum to shut her up, because a photo op is easier than a proposal. Anyway, People Magazine got their cue and they’re running a cover story about Will and Kate and how they’ll be married forever and ever!

After years of anticipation, royal watchers say Kate Middleton may soon be walking down the aisle to wed the world’s most eligible bachelor.

One royal expert interviewed in this week’s PEOPLE cover story says Prince William will likely propose to his girlfriend of eight years in February 2011. “There won’t be an announcement before Christmas because William has got to ask the Queen first,” says longtime royal watcher Ingrid Seward. “And they will get married soon after.”

The fiercely private couple, both 28 – who almost always show up and leave events separately – sparked a new round of engagement rumors after appearing together at a friend’s Oct. 23 nuptials in Northleach, Gloucestershire. Shocking everyone, they strolled out of the stone church in full view of waiting photographers.

Might that have been a hint that their own wedding is next?

“There’s a sense this is the beginning, we may as well get used to seeing Kate in the royal arena,” says Ken Wharfe, the former bodyguard for William’s mother, the late Princess Diana. “As if this were a rehearsal.”

[From People]

Oh for goodness sake. It’s not a rehearsal! She’s just a girl who has put all of her eggs into one basket, and who has no other option other than to cling to William. She doesn’t have a career. She doesn’t have any other prospects. She’s just there, for better or for worse. And I know there will be Middleton defenders who say “oh, maybe they’re in love and don’t feel the need to make it legit, I’m the same way!” You know what? You’re boyfriend isn’t the future Prince of Wales and the future King. Will’s ONLY real job in the world is to get married in the Church of England and continue the line. That’s it. Yes, he has “royal duties” but first and foremost the only thing he really has to do is just get married and have babies, and for God’s sake, if he really thought Kate was wife and mother material, he’s had ample opportunity and he hasn’t done it.

Maybe I’m wrong. Everyone really seems to think this is happening. But I think Will is trying to figure out a way to dump her and not look like an a–hole for stringing her along for eight years.

People cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

My God, Kate Middleton looks smug. Like this wedding she and Prince William attended together was her favorite, best day ever. Look, William posed with her for photos! He didn’t seem bothered to be seen with her! He didn’t make her stand several paces behind him! They were even touching briefly! And Kate looks so f-cking happy, you would think it was her own wedding, after eight long years of clinging to the Man Who Will Be King. For his part, William looked reasonably game, and there are a couple of shots of him where he doesn’t look quite so… Windsor-ish. But that hair! And those pants. They’re tapered! They’re old-man pants. Come on, Will! Anyway, this was Will and Kate’s first public outing together in 104 days – The Daily Mail was counting. And The Mail even has a helpful bracket to show us that this is the eleventh wedding Kate has been to in the past few years, and that “surely it’s Kate’s turn soon!” Poor, lop-sided-face Waity Katy. But no worries, because this public outing has begun a new round of engagement rumors, fresh from Kate’s PR team, right?

Kate Middleton appeared in public for the first time in more than three months yesterday as she and William attended his friend Harry Meade’s wedding. Speculation that the Royal couple are about to announce their engagement was fuelled when they walked through the porch of the church together. They usually arrive at such events separately to avoid being photographed side by side.

A source at St Peter and St Paul’s church in Northleach, Gloucestershire, said: ‘When they turned up together and went through the front where there were obviously photographers, no one could believe it. It’s very unusual and very significant.’

Yesterday was the first time that Kate, 28, had stepped out with William since July 10, when she watched him play polo at the Beaufort club in Gloucestershire. Sources say she has been kept in the background ahead of an engagement announcement. In recent months Kate and William, also 28, have been living as man and wife on the island of Anglesey, in Wales, where he is training as a search and rescue pilot.

Friends say they are ‘road-testing’ married life. Yesterday was the eleventh wedding of friends that Kate has attended in the past five years – seven of them with William, her boyfriend of eight years. Senior courtiers have expressed concerns that Kate, who has watched most of her girlfriends start families, could be ‘the next Camilla’. But friends insist an engagement announcement is imminent and say they are privately ‘as good as engaged’ – it is just a case of making the announcement public.

William, though, is said to be reluctant to do so. Aides say his focus is on his military career and having ‘as normal a life as he can for as long as he can’.

Happy and relaxed-looking William and Kate sent a ripple of excitement through the congregation at the village church when they arrived together to see showjumper Mr Meade, 27, marry primary schoolteacher Rosie Bradford, 30. Mr. Meade is also a friend of Prince Harry, who was not at the wedding. The Prince had been criticised for wearing a Nazi uniform at Mr Meade’s 22nd birthday party.

Kate, in a stunning royal blue dress, sported tanned legs from the recent Kenyan safari she and William have enjoyed at the family home of his former girlfriend Jecca Craig. Jecca, whom William met when he first visited the Craigs’ estate at 16, was also at the wedding. A young William was said to have been so besotted with heiress Jecca that they staged a mock engagement ceremony when he returned to work in Kenya during his gap year.

William’s other old flames, Rose Farquhar and Olivia Hunt, were also at the ceremony. Rose, daughter of Captain Ian Farquhar, Master of the Beaufort Hunt, was William’s first serious girlfriend, dating him shortly after he left Eton. Then when he was in his first year at St Andrews University, where Kate also studied, he reportedly dallied with Olivia. The relationship fizzled out and she went on to date William’s best friend William Van Cutsem.

Kate wore a chunky silver band on her small finger yesterday. When she was seen in July, she wore nothing. But previously she has worn a delicate silver band with a stone on her middle finger. It had been rumoured that William and Kate became engaged during a trip to Balmoral last month. But Palace aides yesterday dismissed that as ‘categorically untrue’.

A source close to the couple said: ‘They have had ups and downs and come through rough patches. But Kate dotes on William and he adores her. They really are the perfect match and they will certainly be married soon.’

Last week The Mail on Sunday revealed that the Royal Mint is making a commemorative coin in anticipation of a wedding. The mould of the coin, featuring William and ‘Catherine’ is in the early stages of design. Several caterers and events organisers are also known to be compiling plans ahead of an announcement. When he does eventually marry, William wants to stay out of the limelight and is said to be keen to continue living on Anglesey where he and Kate enjoy peace and quiet.

‘No one bothers them in Anglesey. They are left to their own devices and they love the freedom and nature up there,’ said a friend.

‘They plan to make Wales their home for the next couple of years.’ St James’s Palace said: ‘Only Prince William and Kate Middleton know what their plans are.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Ah, you see why Kate and Will were so public about being photographed together, right? Because every girl that Will has ever dated was at the damn wedding! Kate made sure she kept very, very close to him. Seriously, though, I do think it’s significant that Will and Kate were photographed together so publicly, and if this means that an engagement will be happening soon, I think we should all give a round of appaluse to Kate for sticking with him for EIGHT YEARS. However, if no engagement is forthcoming, and this public outing was just the bare minimum Will could do to placate Kate, then… maybe we should give a round of applause to Will? Because it really does seem like he’s doing the bare minimum, and maybe Will knows something we don’t – that Kate really isn’t that awesome?

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.

Life & Style’s cover story this week is kind of putting the cart before the horse. They seem to take it as a given that Prince William and Kate Middleton will marry, and now we’re on to discussing the guest list. L&S speaks to entertainment journalist Katie Nicholl, who writes gossip pieces for The Daily Mail. I recognize her name because I’ve always enjoyed her Mail stories, and she has some suspiciously good sources in Kate Middleton’s camp. I’ve always suspected that Nicholl has probably even interviewed Middleton (off the record, or as an unnamed source) for some of her stories, and I think Nicholl probably also has spoken to members of Middleton’s family. So that makes this Life & Style story very interesting… is Kate making another public push to marry Prince William?

When Prince William finally weds longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton in June 2012, only a select group of VIP’s will make the guest list! The location they’re eyeing, St. George’s Chapel in Windsor, seats only 1,300 people—compared to father, Prince Charles and mother, Diana’s massive ceremony of more than 3,500 guests. So which famous faces made the cut?

Life & Style has learned that likely VIP’s on the guest list include first lady Michelle Obama, Diddy and Rod Stewart!

“Elton John, who was extremely close to Diana, will most certainly be at the wedding,” adds an insider. Meanwhile, scandal-ridden Sarah Ferguson, who was caught on tape negotiating a bribe in exchange for access to her ex, Prince Andrew, “is banned,” a palace insider tells Life & Style.

And Both Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth will have a strong say as to who makes the cut.

“It will be the job of aides at Clarence House, which is the Prince’s London residence, as well as Buckingham Palace, where the queen lives, to compile the guest list,” royal correspondent Katie Nicholl, author of William and Harry, a book about the royal brothers, tells Life & Style. “There’s a lot of protocol involved — many heads of state and European royal families must be accounted for and included.”

[From Life & Style]

Yeah… if there is a wedding, the only one inviting everyone they want will be the Queen. Everybody else’s guest list will take a back seat. After all, the Queen is probably going to end up paying for it (and by that, I mean the British taxpayers).

Anyway, this comes at an interesting time. A few weeks ago, the Enquirer and British tabloids were reporting a minor scandal involving Kate’s brother. Kate’s brother James Middleton was involved in some kind of financial scheme (it sounds like a Ponzi scheme) that lost a lot of people’s money, and James is now under investigation. A source told the Enquirer: “The last thing the royal family wants is to have Wills’ future brother-in-law arrested during the wedding festivities. By 2012 the investigation should be over, and James Middleton will have been cleared, or not. Kate is very upset about the delay. It just gets worse and worse for her. She’s been waiting seven years to marry Wills – and now she thinks the royals are just looking for any excuse to freeze her out.”

Also – yesterday, Prince William saved someone’s life. He’s working as a rescue helicopter pilot, and he saved a man who was injured on an oil rig during an emergency mission. It was pretty good – although Prince William has been in his military and flight training for five years, and this is pretty much the first thing he’s done with it. Still, good job.

Here are some newish photos of Will last week at a charity event. Those Windsor genes really kicked in, didn’t they?

Life & Style cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional photos of Prince William on Sept. 30, 2010. Credit: Fame.