Get ready for the surprise of your life. Yes, this is one of those clichéd “you’d better be sitting for this” moments. British “glamour” model Katie Price (aka Jordan) has admitted that she doesn’t actually write any of her bestselling novels. And she’s released three of them – and fourteen other books as well. But she’s still more than happy to take all the credit for them.

Jordan says the concepts of each of the books is all her. She claims that she pretty much acts as an editor (though she doesn’t use that word… I’m not sure she knows it); directing her ghost writer on what’s supposed to happen in each chapter, then sending her off to write it on the typewriter. Yes, Katie also thinks stories are still written on typewriters. Or maybe she’s just delightfully old fashioned.

Far from writing her own novels, Miss Price - better known as Jordan - instead reveals she merely thinks up the plot - leaving the complex task of conjuring up the golden prose to an assistant.

“I’m not going to lie, I don’t sit there with a typewriter and write it, of course I don’t,” she said.

“I don’t have time to do that. I say how I want the storyline to be, each chapter is done, I read through it change it and then it goes away to be written.

“So I’m not going to sit here and say I write it word by word because I’d be lying. I actually say how I want the story and that’s how it happens.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Jordan’s first book sold 300,000 copies in six weeks; the second sold 160,000 in the first twelve weeks – bestsellers, to say the least. Celebrities using ghostwriters is nothing new. What’s annoying is how much credit Katie Price has taken for her books up to this point. Though the article only touches on her novels, one can only assume the ghostwriters worked their tails off on her other titles as well. They range from her three autobiographies to children’s picture books.

Price claims she’s too busy to actually write the books herself. So she has a ghostwriter for literary chores, a few nannies for the kids, a couple of housekeepers for the mansion… and I’m assuming a few ladies to have sex with her husband ? Maybe a couple of stunt models to walk the runway (or whatever it is a “glamour” model does), and probably someone to go to the bathroom for her as well? Sounds like a truly exhausting existence.

Here’s Jordan signing copies of her latest book ‘Angel Uncovered’ (which has already been reduced in price), at bookstore WHSmith in Surrey, England on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

Katie Price is going to adopt a baby from an impoverished nation, but before you yawn at the latest celebrity to do this, she’s actually planning on adopting a little disabled child because ‘no one wants them’.

Glamour girl Jordan is to adopt a disabled orphan from abroad – after breaking down in tears during a TV documentary about their plight.

The model, real name Katie Price, vowed to help after watching shocking film of cruelty and neglect in Bulgaria.

She has a partially blind and autistic son Harvey, six, plus two children with hubby Peter Andre, 35 – Junior, three, and Princess Tiaamii, one.

Katie, 30, told The Sun: “We want to be able to help a child to have a better life.

“The programme moved me to tears. So many babies who are born with disabilities find it hard to find adoptive parents – no one wants them.

“So Pete and I have been to see a lawyer about adopting a baby from abroad.”

The Sun

Katie Price and husband Peter Andre already have three children, one of whom is autistic and blind, so they know what kind of responsibility they are taking on. They are also in a financial position to have help with the children, and I think they would give a great home to an unwanted child. As much as I can’t stand Katie Price, I really think this is great.

This also explains the lawsuit they just won, where they sued News of the World for publishing a story suggesting they were bad parents. Considering some of the stuff written about the former pop star and topless model, I think the kindest comment I’ve read is that she’s a bimbo, I was a bit surprised they pursued a lawsuit. It must have been because they were concerned about the article affecting their chances of adopting.

Unfortunately, the camera doesn’t lie, and Peter and Katie also got into some controversy after they went on their reality TV show The Next Chapter and talked about sex, as well as simulating it, in front of their preschool age children. When I was a child and asked about the facts of life my parents just bought me a book, they didn’t provide a dry humping demonstration.

At any rate, Katie cleared that up for us all, telling the Daily Mail that that her behavior was ‘disgusting - but Pete always starts it.’ Don’t click on this link explaining the incident either, because it has pictures of the two of them simulating sex for the cameras that made me want to pour acid in my eyes.

She also took their daughter out shopping when baby Princess Tiaamii (that’s her name, not a title) had the chicken pox.

Katie Price and Peter Andre are shown on 7/3/08 “outside the High Court where they accepted damages from the News of the World who portrayed them as bad parents in an article.” Credit: WENN

My favorite Brit, Katie Price aka Jordan, is aiming high. She’s aiming to compete as an equestrian at the 2012 Olympic Games. She competed in her first international competition at the weekend, scoring 153 out of 240 and coming in 6th place. If you think this is a low score, the winner scored 167, so her score doesn’t seem so bad.

After being told her result, she said: “Oh excellent, brilliant, that’s quite good isn’t it? I’m pleased I finished without the bells ringing.”

“I really enjoyed it, I’ve got a rosette which is really good for me. I didn’t come here to win it, I just wanted to participate and take part. It was a great crowd.

“We’re all in the same situation, you have got to start somewhere. It was great but nerve-wracking. I’ve not been doing dressage long so I’m proud of what I’ve done.”

Telegraph

Finally, I now know what it is that Jordan does for a living, besides have her photograph taken with her tits out – she’s an Olympian!

I wish her the best of luck with this, it is going to take a lot of work to get to the Olympics. I guess we can all look on the bright side, even if she never makes it to that competition, she can probably turn her story into a reality television show, or at least sell the story to a few tabloids. Perhaps even the horse can tell his side of the story: ‘My career riding beneath Jordan’ or ‘How to be rode professionally by Jordan’.

Katie’s horse is actually a girl, and her name is ‘Jordan’s Glamour Girl’. Just in case anyone might forget who is riding her. Peter Andre missed his wife’s debut, because he was running late, but she wasn’t bothered - he is going to have many more chances to see her compete over the next four years.

Katie Price and her husband, Peter Andre, are shown leaving Nobu restaurant on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN.

I used to think British “supermodel” Katie Price, aka Jordan, was a world class moron. Then I asked myself, “Self, why do you think that?” And I realized it was because of the big fake boobs, fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan… and all these very superficial things. I’d never head the woman speak, so it didn’t seem fair to judge her to be a complete moron. So here I was, sitting at my desk, trying to give Katie Price another chance when she completely out-morons anyone I’ve heard of in a long time.

Katie and her husband, heterosexually questionable Peter Andre, are in Los Angeles filming and promoting their reality TV show for E! Her daughter, 9-month old Princess Tiáamii (yes that’s her real name, I’m not mocking the poor kid) came down with a serious case of chicken pox right before they arrived. What does worried mother Katie Price do? She insists the show go on, and not let little Princess Tiáamii ruin everyone else’s good time.

But when Jordan’s daughter Princess Tiáamii caught the infectious disease while on holiday in Los Angeles, the glamour model was insistent life should carry on as normal. Despite medical recommendations to keep a chicken pox sufferer at home, the glamour model brought the nine-month-old baby for a day out in Beverly Hills - and her spotty appearance certainly caused a stir.

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior. She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical. She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.” On Sunday, the couple left Harvey and Junior with the nanny to show ailing Princess the sights of Beverly Hills.

[From the Daily Mail]

The two parents proceeded to prance around Los Angeles, eating lunch outside while pausing to make out, then shopping for hundreds of dollars of clothing. All the while, they were dragging along their horribly sick, spotted, and contagious child for the paparazzi to swarm. Absolutely lovely. Not surprisingly, the day ended with a trip to the hospital for little Princess Tiáamii. Luckily she appeared to be okay, and was given some medicine and ordered to stay on bed rest. Perhaps inside with the nanny that Jordan left her two healthy children with.

Here’s Katie Price and a sick little Princess Tiáamii yesterday out and about in L.A. Images thanks to WENN.

Trashtastic British reality star and entrepreneur Katie Price launched her line of women’s lingerie at George at ASDA today. She used regular women to model the clothing, and chose them from among her fan club, asking women to write in for a chance:

She said: “I decided that I wanted girls from my fan club to model [the range] with me in front of the press so I got them to write in and then I chose six girls.”

While the 29-year-old’s cleavage appeared more than generous in her black lace trimmed bra, she recently underwent a breast reduction during a visit to LA in December.

Still, Katie, who has three children, Harvey, 5, Junior, two, and Princess Tiaamii, nine months, plans to go back for yet another cosmetic procedure on her breasts to have them made even smaller.

[From The Daily Mail]

Everyone is saying that she chose these women to make herself look better, and that could be partially the case. She also managed to get a lot more publicity by using normal-sized and plus-sized models along with showing that her bras and panties are made for all sizes. At least one commentor on Oh No They Didn’t noted that it’s hard to find bras if you’re large-breasted. I don’t have that particular problem, but it could be an issue she’s trying to address by showing women who are stacked wearing her new bras.

It is refreshing to see regular-sized women promoting lingerie, even if it does seem slightly exploitive in the case of the very heavy model. Katie Price is all about exploiting herself for profit, and in her case she might call it empowering. If that word is even in her vocabulary.

That Jordan really gets around. Not just in the slutty sense – that girl will slap one of her names on just about any product. Back in the day, doing that used to be called a celebrity endorsement. But now we – the good consumer public – are supposed to believe that these are actually products designed and put out by the celebs themselves, which is absolutely ridiculous. Where is Ralph Nader when you really need him? Jordan – nee Katie Price – has written a host of books, including three autobiographies. She actually thinks she’s that interesting. But Katie isn’t satisfied with merely sticking her name on some awkwardly ghost-written books. Good ol Jordan wants to stick her name on a host of new goods – namely sex toys.

Glamour girl Jordan is aiming to bring out her own range of condoms and sex toys. The goods, including vibrators and massage devices, will have a logo featuring the busty model’s naked silhouette. Jordan has applied to the UK Intellectual Property Office to have the symbol registered.

She is also launching more traditional toys and even fruit machines.

The 29-year-old star has already registered a logo in her real name, Katie Price, for haircare appliances — with hearts above the “I’s”. She wants to extend it to a range of other products, including jewelery, clothing and cosmetics — and even horse whips and saddlery.

Jordan, a keen rider, will be given a decision on her new logo by the UK IPO in three months.

[From the Sun]

Jordan is famous for her ridiculously large boobs, and sexuality in general. So slapping her name on a vibrator doesn’t seem that out of place. It gets a little more unusual when you get to traditional children’s toys. God forbid a tired shelf stocker not be paying enough attention and stick a vibrator in the wrong section. Or worse yet, some fuzzy stuffed kids toy in with the adult merchandise. But where it really gets creepy is the fruit machine. I wasn’t exactly sure what a fruit machine was – I’m imagining it’s some type of dehydrator perhaps. Either way, going from sex toys to cooking appliances is quite the leap. Branching out to horse whips and saddlery – well to be fair, if seen in the wrong context, those could make a lot of sense. But Jordan is marketing them for the traditional equine-riding buyer. Can you imagine a famous jockey bragging about his Katie Price saddle? I’m sure the pink suede and rhinestones will really add some flare. Katie already has a line of lingerie out in the UK. It’s sensibly designed for women with a larger, Katie-sized bust. Given the writing, the designing of bras, the toys, and the kitchen appliances, you’d think Jordan would be satisfied. But I guarantee you, within the year you’ll be hearing about the Katie Price computer hard drive and memory chip, along with the Katie Price lint shaver and vegan sausage product.

Here’s Jordan doing her best grown-up-no-longer-a-skank impression while signing copies of her third autobiography “Jordan: Pushed To The Limit” at Waterstone’s in Essex on February 22, 2008. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Katie Price pulled out the fake implants but apparently that’s the only significant change she’s made in her life. Price, aka “Jordan,” still thinks she’s fascinating enough to need three – yes three – autobiographies. The 304 page tome takes off where her last book “Jordan: A Whole New World” left off… which took off where her first autobiography “Being Jordan” left off. Why exactly does Jordan need 944 pages to write about herself? I have no freaking clue. I will not pretend for a moment to have read one page of any of her books. There isn’t enough money in the world to get me to degrade myself like that. So here’s a little synopsis from the publisher.

Katie Price has led a rollercoaster life and the excitement, glamour and emotional twists and turns show no signs of slowing down. Although happily married to Peter Andre, the past few years have been troublesome for Katie. She has overcome a string of fiercely emotional challenges: she has battled post-natal depression, endured a traumatic miscarriage and continually fought fears for the safety and health of her children and husband. It has all undoubtedly taken its toll on her and placed great strains on her relationship. Katie has always been a strong, passionate, sensitive and independent woman but even she has been pushed to her limits. Yet Katie’s spirit has always shone through and he enthusiasm and determination have seen her triumph: her career continues to go from strength to strength and her desire and appetite to succeed know no bounds. She has given birth to a beautiful daughter, Princess Tiaamii, too and despite everything that has been thrown at them, Katie and Peter have emerged more in love than ever before. Jordan: Pushed to the Limit is a truly intimate portrait of a sensational life.

[From Amazon UK]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Seriously? Katie Price has “continually fought fears for the safety and health of her children and husband”? What wife and mother hasn’t? Aren’t you constantly afraid for the safety of your kids from the moment you have them? I already have a plan to have mine GPS chipped right as the doctor cuts the cord. Kind of a two-for-the-price -of-one thing. I’m sure the things mentioned are hard to go through, but they’re anything but uncommon. They certainly don’t require more indulgent commentary by a woman best known for the ridiculous size of her fake boobs and femme-looking husband. Seriously, the woman has put out 6 books – 7 if you count the illustrated version of “Being Jordan.” I won’t even count the “ Katie Price’s Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book” since that’s a series – and it’s meant for kids. Would you really let your daughter look at anything put out by Jordan? I’m not one of those people that would ban all Barbies from the house, but there’s no way in hell I’d let my kid think that cheap bimbo was normal. Man I hope Jordan doesn’t read this website, or she’s going to need to write another book about all the therapy I made her go through.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Photos of Jordan showing off her sewn-on nipple are unblurred in the big versions and NSFW. The large ones are from WENN, smaller ones from PRPhotos. I’ve also seen her crotch and have the misfortune of knowing that there’s a faded blue heart tattooed right over it. Do they routinely sew on nipples during breast jobs? I thought they went in underneath usually. This bothers me.

“Mom of the year”/obsessive plastic surgery victim/sorta model Jordan (aka Katie Price) has given an excruciatingly long and in-depth interview to OK! Magazine in which she’s talked about her displeasure with her body, even after what seems like a million surgeries - and at least four on her breasts alone. Jordan says she had her globe-sized implants removed, but her breasts still aren’t small enough. Or perky enough. Or bolted-on looking, which is what she actually told the surgeon she wanted. That look that screams bad/fake looking boob job is what Jordan was aiming for but didn’t get. So now she’s going to go under the knife again, for the gajillionith time.

“When I saw my boobs I was disappointed because they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller. My words to the doctor beforehand were: ‘I want to go a lot smaller. More pert. More stuck-on looking. But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” Katie, who is married to singer Peter Andre and has three children, added: “I’m really disappointed. In fact I’m going back to the States to get them re-done.”

Explaining why she isn’t impressed, Katie continued: “They look fine in bra but they hang too low when I’m standing up and it’s really bad when I’m lying down. There’s about a four inch gap. I’ve had three boob jobs done before and I’ve seen enough other ones to know what they should look like and they’re not right. I’ve also got indents so you can see where the implant is sitting and there’s excess skin so the doctor either hasn’t filled the skin up enough or he hasn’t removed enough skin.”

[From the Daily Mail]

So instead of saying to herself, “You know, I’ve had four breast surgeries so far, and each time I’m less and less satisfied. Maybe I should stop having breast surgeries,” Jordan’s natural reaction is to go under the knife for a fifth time. It seems like there’s a real contradiction between what she’s saying. “they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller” and in the next breath “But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” You see how it could be a little challenging for a surgeon to please her, given her request. Katie’s also spent a ton of money on getting her teeth done - and she’s not happy with any of it. But the best part is the end of her quote. Wait for it, it’s priceless.

Katie said she is so upset with the staggering £43,000 cosmetic surgery that she is warning others to stay natural has even vowed not to have any more done herself. She said: “I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve paid for surgery and this is the first time it went wrong.

“My boobs and nose were £18,000 and my gnashers [teeth] were £25,000. But they are [botched] as well. Mine are so sensitive now it’s like they’ve filed them down too much and have hit all my nerve endings. It hurts constantly. It feels like I’ve got electricity going through my teeth.”

She added: “I tell you what - anyone reading this, just stay natural because I’ve been through all this and look at the state of me. They [botched] up my boobs and they [botched] up my teeth and I’ve been in pain for six weeks. I don’t want any more surgery, though. I’ve had enough! I’ve had enough of anaesthetics and I’ve had enough of recovering.

[From the Daily Mail]

Wow, so you look the worse for wear, you’re out a lot of money, you’re completely dissatisfied with the results, your advice to everyone is to stay natural, and you “don’t want any more surgery… I’ve had enough!” BUT, the subject of your whole interview is how you’re having more surgery to get your boobs and teeth redone. Well thought out my friend, well thought out. Jordan, should you ever stumble upon our site, could I recommend you peruse this article? Thanks.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s a side shot of Jordan’s new, toned-down boobs as she arrives back to the UK from her surgery in the US on December 22nd. Images thanks to Splash. Header of her promoting her line of larger sized lingerie in 2006.

I have never thought it was possible for breasts to have a career, but it seems the pair attached to Katie Price, aka Jordan, have proved me wrong.

The breasts have had four surgeries throughout their carriers career as a glamour model, and also appeared at promotional activities for Katie’s books and fragrance.

Now the breasts’ husband Peter Andre is also trying to use the breasts for his own career advancement, giving an interview about their qualities, following their recent reduction from a size 32FF. The breasts have declined to reveal their current size although I’m sure Katie will reveal it sometime soon.

He said: “I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time.

“Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man.

“I often get asked what Katie’s breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy.”

Though, with his sensible hat on, Peter reassures himself her reduction was a positive thing.

He even tries to convince himself they were perhaps too big for her anyway.

He told Loaded: “If I were completely honest - and I totally love Katie, she’s my wife and mother to my children - but I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point.

“To be honest, she wasn’t even my type. I don’t mean she wasn’t pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn’t what I’d normally go for.

“However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about.”

The Sun

I suspect that J. Howard Marshall felt the same way about Anna Nicole Smith.

Katie Price actually looks really good post-surgery, she’s also had a nose job, and without the breasts stealing the spotlight you can see how beautiful she is. When you have a face as pretty as that, why divert attention away from it with overly large boobs? Although, do you kind of get the impression that Peter misses them, just a little?

Peter Andre and Katie Price have recently been in Peter’s home country of Australia, filming the forth season of their reality series Katie and Peter. Like the world needed more reality TV. Peter showed his kids the places he used to visit as a child, and also went for a meal at the Greek restaurant owned and run by his three brothers, as well as going to the nightclub he owns himslef. Expect to see all that and not much else on the new series.

Keep an eye out for Katie’s old breast implants, which she plans on auctioning for charity on eBay.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image of Peter and the breasts in larger times was taken on 9/21/07, thanks to PR Photos.

The first Pictures of Peter Andre and Jordan’s (whoops, I mean Katie Price) baby girl are out. And she doesn’t really look like either of them.

Jordan said: “She looks really different from both the other kids - she’s got fair, gingery hair and really blue eyes.

“The health visitor said she would put money on them not changing colour. It’s weird, she must be a throwback from my side because my real dad has blue eyes and I don’t know where the ginger comes from. Pete gets a bit of ginge in his beard.”

Andre joked: “Actually we had a ginger gardener.”

But the reality TV star, real name Katie Price, claims Tiaamii’s hair won’t effect her love, adding: “I don’t mind, I love her anyway, even if she’s a ginge!”

Actually, I think when people are horrible about people with red hair, that’s as bad as being racist.”

RTE

I’m not saying anything about Katie’s comment about racism. Except that she must have been having a blonde moment. Tee hee!! Sorry Katie.

In these pictures, did Katie have to take her clothes off? And if you are going to go the skin-to-skin bonding pictures with your baby, shouldn’t the child be nude too?

Anyway, all babies are cute, and this one is no exception. And as soon as I work out how to pornounce it’s name, I’ll stop calling it ‘it’.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to DListed and Seriously? OMG! WTF? for these pics. Note that the baby is using one of those rhinestone-encrusted pacifiers - the ones that were recently recalled for being a severe choking hazard and using crystals that contain a lot of lead.