Some stories just write themselves. This is Katie Price, above, in her latest promotional appearance, for a TV reality show contest she’s doing. She regularly dresses like this. If you don’t know who she is, she’s a British faux celebrity who ghostwrote a bunch of books and makes money for slapping her name on stuff and being a famewhore. She’s like Kim Kardashian without bothering to pretend she has any class whatsoever. And yes, she also has a sex tape.

Somehow Katie Price got invited to give a speech about her life at a debating society at prestigious Oxford University. She wore actual pants to the event and her boobs weren’t hanging out, which was surprising. Katie said a bunch of stuff about how she works so hard to make millions of dollars for looking like a Barbie on steroids. Then she went on about the fact that little girls are getting plastic surgery and spray tans and starting to wear makeup so young. Her five year old daughter, Princess, has been seen with makeup and false eyelashes, but that’s different. Price also said that the sexualization of children started with Britney Spear’s “Hit Me Baby” video. Really.

Katie, 33, is “disgusted” by recent trends including beauty parlours offering toddler tanning and pre-teen makeovers.

She says: “It is disgusting. I don’t agree with it at all. I think surgeons and mums who encourage these young girls to have cosmetic work done, or have fake false boobs, should be shot.

“It’s horrible when you see these pictures of young children wearing make-up, having fake tans and so on. It’s sad.”

Katie’s comments come 48 hours after Prime Minister David Cameron met internet industry representatives to discuss how to stop youngsters accessing pornography online. It is something she strongly agrees with.

Of course, it is a shock to hear the surgically-enhanced, knicker-flashing, heavily made-up star come over all Mary Whitehouse. After all, she has made over £30million marketing her sexy alter ego, Jordan. And you only have to look at the fans who flock to her book signings to realise she’s the poster girl for a generation of fame-hungry youngsters.

So can this really be the same Katie who enraged ex-hubby Peter Andre with a Facebook shot of their daughter Princess, then two, in full slap and false eyelashes?

Am I talking to the same doting mum who bought her little girl 100 pairs of shoes before she could even walk, straightened her curly hair and now uses Princess to model her kids’ clothing range online? Yep.

But Katie is adamant she has done nothing wrong. No, blame Britney Spears instead.

“That photo of Princess wearing make-up was from my sister’s Facebook page and was never meant to be made public,” she says.

“It was a one-off and I didn’t approve it. But Princess loves all that girlie stuff. She and her friends are always raiding my make-up bag, trying on my heels, trying to find new things. I think all little girls are like this. I don’t encourage her – it’s quite the opposite. I tell her, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’.

“Yes, she had her hair straightened. She begged me to do it. I think people assume I’m there every day, irons at the ready, when she comes out the bath, wanting to straighten her hair. I’m not! It makes me mad. Everyone blow dries their little girl’s hair and that’s all I do – dry it and brush it the way she likes it.

“If Princess said, ‘Mummy, I want to have fake boobs’, I would say, ‘No’. Of course I wouldn’t let her. It’s sick, it’s just wrong.”

The over-sexualisation of children is a subject close to Katie’s heart. At the age of six she was in a park with her friend when “some weirdo” indecently exposed himself and inappropriately touched them.

It has clearly left some deep-seated emotional scars.

She continues: “It makes me really sad to think about childhoods nowadays. I was a tomboy when I was growing up, climbing up trees or whatever – innocent stuff.

“When you look at young girls at senior school today, they’re wearing the shortest skirts and all trying to look like Britney.

“So I suppose maybe that’s where it all started – with Britney’s Hit Me Baby video, with her running around in that school uniform.

“I think the pop industry has always encouraged this kind of thing, though.

“Kids see these girls dressed in this provocative manner and want to copy them. It makes me angry, but it sells.

“To people who accuse me of in any way contributing to this over-sexualisation of kids, I say, ‘What have I done sexually, or otherwise?’ I don’t sleep around and I love being in relationships – I’m not interested in dating loads of guys or having one-night stands. And what have I done with Princess that’s so wrong? What have I done generally?”

For someone who clearly has a lot to say for herself, Katie was uncharacteristically lost for words when she addressed the Oxford Union yesterday. Her speech lasted just eight minutes before she dried up.

Katie, who wore a cream top, shiny leggings and black boots, admitted: “I’m absolutely petrified. I don’t really know what to say.”

Describing herself as a “rich chav” and “common as muck” she told her “posh” audience: “You are our future in here. You must be so intelligent, so brainy and fascinating to be around. I bet hanging out with you lot I’d actually learn a lot.” And she got a few laughs, when she added: “I wouldn’t like to play Trivial Pursuit with you.”

It was another side to Katie, who has had five boob jobs and whose nights out are rarely quiet affairs.

[From Mirror.co.uk]

That “do as I say, not as I do” argument never works. This is a woman who is famous for having her enormous fake tits hanging out and for wearing so much makeup, self tanner and fake hair that she looks like a real doll. It’s “disgusting” to her that moms are subjecting their daughters to the same treatment she regularly showcases on the red carpet, and it’s all Britney Spears’ fault. Oh and she’s holding a reality show contest in which people strip down to their bikinis and try to earn entry into a “boot camp” where they get to learn to be just like her. (It’s a flop in the ratings, thankfully.) That’s totally different and so less harmful to kids than Britney Spears dancing around in a sexy schoolgirl outfit in a video from 1998.

I’m just going to start this post off with Katie Price fully clothed because I want you to take a moment to prepare your eyes for the oncoming assault. These are pics of Katie promoting her new television series in the UK, “Signed: By Katie Price”. Guess what it is? It’s a “talent search” where the winner becomes “the new Katie Price”. As in, a celebrity who does nothing, really. Katie actually had the audacity to say:

“A lot of people that came through, you could see that they just want the fame, they’re not really interesting anything else, ’cause I could tell by the questions I was asking them. So they wouldn’t have a chance anyway. I would listen to what people are saying. They have to say the right thing. Anyone can come along to an audition and say ‘I wanna be famous, I wanna do this and that’ but then you say ‘OK, but famous for what?’ You’ll see in the show they’ve got to be smart, shrewd, hungry and really want it. Looks helps. You can’t be pig ugly, let’s be honest. You’re not going to buy a pig ugly person on a calendar are you? Well I wouldn’t. They’ve got to have looks, they’ve got to have an aura about them, a bit of star quality.”

[From The Press Association]

She’s so oblivious. She might even be worse than Paris Hilton, and I know how rough that is. Did you notice that Katie can’t even answer her own “But famous for what?” question? Ugh.

Anyway, prepare your eyes. Katie started out in a suit that I guess included a stripper’s tear-away skirt (??), and then she just did the rest of the photo call in her panties and garter… and a blazer! She’s RIDIC.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Glamour model Katie “Jordan” Price will never learn as far as her serial monogamy is concerned. In fact, Price is so notorious for her short-lived “serious” relationships that she can be compared to Jennifer Love Hewitt in that regard. The main difference, of course, is that Price is quick to marry each man and then divorce them in very short order. A few years ago, when she and Peter Andre divorced (in a very public way), Price almost immediately lept into a relationship with fellow famewhore and former adult film star/current cagefighter Alex Reid, who she rapidly married in Vegas and then dumped only 11 months later. Now, Price has been snapped in Spain while frolicking in a pool with Leandro Penna and a new tattoo of the day they met — February 27, 2011 — just three months ago. It must be love, mates!

Price is no stranger to body ink tributes, for she used to have a “Pete” tattoo on her wrist, which she accessorized with a large “X” during their split and then later completely erased. Still, it’s possible (although not probable) that this new tattoo is fake, which would fit her pattern of romantic gestures for the sake of press. Less than a month ago, Price was strategically photographed (at one of her “book” signings) wearing a huge diamond ring on her engagement finger:

She’s admitted to being in love with him and just a day after Leandro Penna followed her back to the U.K. Katie Price has been spotted wearing a diamond ring on her engagement finger.

The glamour model flashed the rock at her book signing earlier today as her boyfriend Leandro proudly looked on.

The 26-year-old model jetted to be back by Katie’s side yesterday after the couple spent just three days apart.

Katie jetted back from Argentina on Tuesday night and shortly after returning from a trip to Leandro’s home town Katie, 32, tweeted: “At least I can admit now I’m in love with leo and had been for along time but didn’t want to say woo.” (sic)

[From Daily Mail]

Well, a long time has now been confirmed as just a few months, but that’s the way this chav rolls, apparently. If there’s anything obvious about Katie Price (beyond her tacky ways and famewhore tendencies), it’s that she falls in love fast and hard. She plays for keeps, just as long as “keeps” doesn’t last more than a year or two at most. Hopefully, her unstable ways won’t affect her three young children that much as they grow older.

UPDATE BY KAISER: Yeah, The Mail is wrong. Shocking! Katie Price was born in May 1978, which makes her 33 years old.

Also, can someone say “motorboat”?

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

I normally don’t cover someone like Katie Price, but these photos just came in, and they’re too good to pass up. This is Katie Price (aka Jordan) doing a book signing in London today. Because, yes, Katie Price is a published author. Her current book, You Only Live Once, is her fourth autobiography. And I’m not even counting the five “novels” she’s written. Oh, I mean “written” because if this bitch doesn’t have a team of ghostwriters, I’m going to shoot myself in the head. Oh crap… I just saw that she’s always got some children’s book series?!? That’s it. I’m getting my gun.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out some of my favorite parts of these photos. First of all: the hat/wig. It’s magnificent. Britney Spears should totally wear that. Secondly, Katie is wearing Uggs and SWEATPANTS. To a book signing. Because that’s how much she cares. Third: her skin. It’s not even orange at this point. Carrots look at Katie Price and a cold shiver runs through them. She’s got so many layers of fake-tanner on, she’s a shade of deep, burnt sienna.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

We don’t usually cover British star-for-no-reason Katie Price, aka Jordan. She’s like the British Kim Kardashian in that she’s famous for having a sex tape, a reality show, putting out a bunch of merchandise with her name on it, selling her life story, and turning herself into a living plastic doll. (Jordan predates Kim, so maybe Jordan was Kim’s career inspiration, not Paris Hilton.)

Anyway Katie is trying to kick out her husband of all of 11 months, former adult film actor and professional cagefighter Alex Reid, but Reid is said to be staying put in another wing of the couple’s mansion. Apparently Katie is upset that Reid posed for a photo in which he appears to be training her five year-old son, Junior (with ex husband Peter Andre), to fight. He’s also said to have angered her by following her career path and cashing in on her “celebrity.” Katie called Andre a famewhore or something, as if that wasn’t obvious to her from the get-go, and is said to be seeking a divorce. The couple has no prenup, so of course money will be an issue. While Reid was initially trying to save the marriage, and plead his case to the press about how it was all a misunderstanding, it’s thought that he’s accepted that it’s over and is just trying to get the best payout. Katie’s first ex husband, Peter Andre, has of course chimed in:

JILTED Alex Reid yesterday taunted wife Jordan – telling her: “Give me £2million or I’ll NEVER move out.”

Alex, 35, insisted it would cost that much for him to walk away from their 11-month marriage.

The cage fighter’s demand, which would be part of a final divorce settlement, came as he received support from Jordan’s ex, Peter Andre.

The singer, 37, told a pal: “I actually feel sorry for Alex – she is obviously trying to make him look like the bad guy when it seems he loved her.”

The furious star spoke out after Jordan, 32 – real name Katie Price – said Alex was a “sponging Peter clone”. Meanwhile, a pal of Jordan’s claimed she had been left devastated by Alex’s request.

It came after he had agreed to move out and sign a gagging order stopping him from talking about their marriage.

Alex then made a last-minute U-turn after speaking to his family about what was on offer. Jordan’s friend said: “Most people haven’t seen Katie cry, but she was in fits after this call.

“Alex had finally agreed to release a statement about the end of their marriage and move out. He then went to the gym. Katie called him to see if he had run everything past his lawyers and he just started to laugh.

“Alex said he had changed his mind and that there was absolutely no way she was getting rid of him that easily.”

Last night cross-dresser Alex was again staying at Jordan’s mansion in Woldingham, Surrey, arriving at 11pm. Jordan is still living in the home – in a separate wing to Alex. She is said to have considered moving out, but her disabled son Harvey, seven, needs the home’s special facilities.

She claims Alex has made a fortune from their relationship – getting £200,000 for his own TV show and £75,000 for a magazine column.

[From The Sun]

Here’s the thing – this woman is getting more press for this divorce than she has in months if not years (since her last divorce) so she’ll ultimately profit from this breakup even if she has to give Alex a hefty settlement. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s playing up this whole controversy and marital trouble to earn more headlines.

*Note that reports differ as to where Katie is living. The Sun has her in another wing of the mansion while The Daily Mail reports in a video segment that she’s moved in with friends.

Katie and Alex are shown out shopping on 9/29/10. I guess they epitomize what the British call “chavs.” Katie is also shown promoting her clothing line on 1/8/11. Credit: WENN.com

Katie Price is not pregnant, according to her new husband, Alex Reid, the overly tanned meat head that Katie left her husband for a year ago. He was a nobody before Katie started messing around with him and now he has his very own column in the British version of Star Magazine. Who would have thought that being Katie Price’s rebound piece would make you famous? Anyway, despite Alex’s insistence, people are still speculating that the former glamour model is indeed in the family way, since she was told by her doctor to pull out of a planned marathon run this week.

Celebrity supermodel Katie Price, aka Jordan, has withdrawn from the Virgin London Marathon, fuelling speculation that she is pregnant.

The glamour girl told reporters that her decision was based on advice from her doctor who suggested staying at home instead, leaving the media to ponder whether Price and husband Alex Reid may now be preparing for their first child as a couple.

Price was due to join the 26-mile jog around the capital for the aid of Vision Charity – an organisation that raises valuable funds for children who suffer from dyslexia and visual impairments. She told reporters that she deeply regretted the decision to withdraw from the race, but gave no concrete reasons as to why, sparing a media frenzy of sorts.

Just last week Alex was forced to fend off a barrage of questions from the media over the possibility of the pitter-patter of tiny feet being on the way.

Price also told reporters that her preparations for the gruelling event had been going extremely well and that for a long time she has been eagerly looking forward to both running and making much-needed money for such a worthy cause. She did take part in last year’s event, with then husband singer Peter Andre, finishing the run in a little over seven hours.

[From The Mirror]

I don’t know why I care about what this walking piece of beef jerky with bad tits does. Maybe it’s because she has three little kids, one of them pretty seriously disabled, and it seems like she’s way too wrapped up in her own personal bullshit to be a decent mother to them. And now, she might be having another one! I really hope it’s not true, and that the “doctor’s orders” thing is just an excuse so Katie doesn’t have to run.

Katie Price is shown promoting her equestrian clothing line on 4/9/10. Credit: WENN.com

I don’t follow British “glamour model” Katie “Jordan” Price’s trials and tribulations like, say, Michael K at D-listed. Sure, I get the kitsch value of Price, but I find her too trashy to even care for the most part. With that in mind, I’m going to attempt to give an update on the Price situation now. Price married her boyfriend Alex Reid in Las Vegas yesterday, stunning the world! Reid is a boxer. And a drag queen named Roxanne. And Price is orange. And dumb. And a famewh-re. So… match made in heaven! Love for the ages!

KATIE PRICE has married Alex Reid in a secret ceremony in Las Vegas, just hours after telling OK! their wedding plans.

Model Katie Price married Celebrity Big Brother winner Alex Reid in a ceremony at Las Vegas’ Wynn Hotel yesterday afternoon (midnight UK time).

Katie, 31, exclusively announced her decision to wed 34-year-old Alex in yesterday’s issue of OK!.

After the 22-minute ceremony, the couple announced: “We are very much in love and look forward to the future together. We can’t wait to get back and celebrate our marriage with our friends and family who we know fully support our wishes.”

Katie – who raises three children, Harvey, seven, Junior, four, and two-year-old Princess Tiaamii with ex-husband Peter Andre – had been keen to wed Alex as soon as the couple arrived in Vegas earlier this week.

A source said: “They wanted to have the ceremony as soon as they got to Vegas, but the bridal stores weren’t open so she couldn’t get a dress.

“She had her fashion team trawling all over town for a gown. In the end she just had to make do.”

The couple – who were spotted shopping for rings just hours before the ceremony – exclusively told OK! of their engagement plans.

Katie said: “This year I will marry Alex and I’m going to have his kids…I’ll change [my name on] my passport, cheque book, everything. I want to be traditional, the way marriage is meant to be.”

Katie exclusively revealed to OK!: “I wish I’d met Alex six years ago. He’s perfect in every way. He’s a proper gentleman…Every man I’ve been with, I’d never buy a house with them, never buy a car with them. But I said to Alex, forget my house, we should buy a house together.

“I’m going to downsize so we can both afford it. We’ll have our joint account, whatever we earn together will go in one pot and everything will be paid out of that. It will be completely equal. So there’s no egos, who earns the most. I’ve never done that with a guy and that’s what I’m doing with Alex.”

Katie and Alex met just weeks after she split from husband Pete back in May last year. They have been dating since last July.

Alex and Katie briefly broke up last year, after she dumped him on live TV during her exit interview on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, just hours after he was rumoured to have flown to Australia to propose.

But the model said she had been “heartbroken” at breaking off the relationship, and the couple were reunited.

A spokesman for Katie, 31, and Alex said: “Their decision to marry has not been made with any pre-conceived commercial plan or media deal in place, and their reason for getting married is purely down to their love for each other.”

[From OK! Magazine]

I have something horrible to admit. If I had no idea who Alex Reid was, if I had no idea he was with Katie Price, or that he was a drag queen named Roxanne, or that he was so… dumb, I might find him slightly attractive. I mean, just on pure aesthetics, I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t find him unattractive. I’ll go curl up and die now.

But before I go, I will say something else – I think Katie Price hooked herself another one who is afraid of vaginas.

Katie and Alex in Las Vegas on February 2, 2010, hours before their elopement. Also, in Vegas on February 1, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Katie Price (aka Jordan) broke up with her boyfriend of four months, cagefighter Alex Reid, then immediately went to the cameras of “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here” to tell the world about it. Just like most of us do when we break up with someone. Alex had flown all the way to Australia from London with the intent of proposing to her. Clearly he hadn’t checked in to see how Katie felt about him, because apparently she said she was sick of him making money off her, and then dumped him. It doesn’t seem that Alex actually did propose, that was just his ultimate purpose with the trip. Bummer.

It’s perhaps not the most tactful way to end a relationship, but Katie Price ensured maximum exposure when she dumped boyfriend Alex Reid live on air last night. The cagefighter had just landed in Australia after flying thousands of miles to see his girlfriend of four months, who was competing on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! He planned to propose. Instead Katie summoned him to her hotel room and told him she was fed up with him ‘making money from her’ and then went on live TV to tell the nation.

The former glamour model left the I’m A Celebrity jungle two weeks early on Sunday after the public kept forcing her to endure ‘bushtucker trials’. But despite this, the 31-year-old will forfeit just £100,000 from her £350,000 appearance fee, and is expected to make as much as £1million in magazine, advertising and television deals. Last night presenters Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly spoke to her live on air for the first time since her departure. Miss Price said she had done a ‘lot of reflection in the jungle’, adding ‘I just realised I wanted to be on my own, I don’t need a relationship. I hope we can remain friends.’ When asked if Alex, 34, was still her boyfriend, she replied: ‘I’m not with him’.

‘I know people might think it’s harsh, but a lot of things have happened since I came out, I’ve done a lot of thinking in there, lots of things shouldn’t have happened while I was in there and they have. I can’t live my life by everyone else, I have to think of me and my children and I am so much happier as a person.’ Writing on her Twitter micro-blogging page shortly after her live interview, she wrote: ‘I feeeel sooo goood today.’

Earlier as Alex boarded his flight to Australia on Sunday, he told waiting reporters: ‘I’m definitely asking her to marry me. One idea is I make the proposal in front of the cameras on the show. But whatever happens I know this is right. I’ve never felt this way before.’ But it seems Katie didn’t share his feelings. ‘Naturally there are ongoing telephone conversations between the couple, but Alex has no further comment to make at this time regarding the state of their relationship.’

Sources close to the star said Alex was booked into the five star hotel Palazzo Versace on Australia’s Gold Coast, where Jordan has stayed since her departure from the show. But on his arrival the concierge had refused to tell him which room she was in. The source said: ‘An hour before she appeared on air Jordan summoned him and told him it was over. ‘She was fed up with him making money from her. Friends say he is devastated.’ Miss Price warned producers about her announcement just minutes before filming started.

[From the Daily Mail]

The Mail titled the article “I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price dumps Alex Reid live on air… hours after he flies to Australia to propose,” but that seems very inaccurate. Nowhere in their own story does it say she broke up with him live on the air, it says she broke up with him in her hotel room and then “went on live TV to tell the nation” So it’s not quite as harsh as they make it sound… but it’s still pretty harsh. Nonetheless, whether you’re a normal person or someone as unlikeable as Katie Price, if it’s not working, it’s not working. No point in stringing people along.

Katie also spends a lot of time talking about how strong she is. And how much she loves her kids. There’s even a good deal of reminiscing about ex-husband Peter Andre, who she met the first time she did “I’m a Celebrity.” She claims she’s even staying in the same bed as when she met him. It seems to me that she’s so overdramatic in the telling of all this that she’s trying to make herself feel better. At one point she says she realizes she’s acted like a “twit” over the last seven months, then at another she talks about how strong she’s been over the last seven months. And it’s hysterical to hear her talk about the challenges she’s had to go on for the show. Viewers keep voting to make her do them without even a day’s break, probably because she’s so disliked. She talks about the challenges and how strong she is and how proud her parents are. Apparently Katie thinks she’s walking on the moon or making important scientific discoveries, judging by the import she’s placing on all this.

Anyhoo, better off for Alex. His heart seems to be genuinely broken right now, but let’s be real: you don’t want to wake up to Katie Price’s face in ten years. Or even one year. It was a sweet gesture that came back to bite him, but he’ll be better off in the end.

Here’s Katie shopping in Sydney today . Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Jodie Marsh has got to be the biggest sk*ank in all of Europe. I’ve only been there a handful of times, and before you get all bitchy with me – no, I haven’t seen all the sk*nks in Europe. But I feel like I’ve seen a representative sample, and no way does the sk*ankiest on her worst day compare to Jodie Marsh on her best. And it’s not just the sl*tty body (I hope you’re enjoying your *s today) or the ridiculous citrus fruit boob job. The worst thing about Jodie is her face, or as I put it last year, “she’s got a face that looks about as attractive as a half-eaten quiche.” Since then “quiche face” has become my favorite insult for someone, but with Jodie it’s not so much an insult as it is a freakishly accurate description.

Now if I were ever to describe Katie “Jordan” Price to someone who’d never heard of her, I wouldn’t exactly be talking about her charm and grace. But Jordan is at least twenty percent classier than Jodie Marsh. And that’s saying something. The two have had a long-running battle over who can get the most attention for the least attractive behavior. Right now Jodie’s in the lead, for slamming Jordan’s horsie trotting skills. Snap! Right where it hurts. She also said Jordan’s bad in bed and she’s thick. Um… not thick in bedroom terms, just meaning her body.

Jodie Marsh has been pretty quiet in recent months, but now she’s back with a bang. Or a rant, to be more precise. Jodie has re-ignited her long-running feud with Kate Price with a no-holds-barred, expletive-laden attack on her rival in a magazine interview which is sure to provoke a response.

“What does Jordan do on a horse? Dressage. Trots around, that’s all she does,” fumed Jodie in an interview in lad-mag Zoo. “She doesn’t jump. She doesn’t do f**k all. She just sits on it, poses and pouts.”

Then she tells us how a real glamour model rides a horse. “I started horse riding again recently and I haven’t ridden since I was 14. So I’ve got on it after 17 years, and it’s a beast. I cantered him, galloped him and got over proper jumps,” she boasts.

Then Jodie really gets her claws out, with a supremely bitchy dig at Katie’s bedroom prowess. “She’s [Katie's] not good in bed – she doesn’t know what she’s doing,” Jodie rails. “She’s as cold as ice, she’s got hardly any friends and she’s thick as s***! … I think anyone who wants to be with Jordan is a bit weird in the first place,” adds Jodie, applying the coup de grace.

[From Metro]

Slamming a glamour model’s horse dancing is akin to slapping her right in the face in Britain. I know absolutely nothing about horse riding, but from my limited understand Jodie sounds about right in terms of the dressage. I’m sure there’s some athletic subtly to it that I’m missing, but it made me giggle anyways. But calling her thick, the nerve! Look, when you slap some size Q implants on a woman, I don’t care what size her frame, she’s going to look thick.

I seriously don’t think Jodie actually cares about Katie Price. She’ll say or do anything for attention, and she knows that she’s the low rent Jordan, so talking smack about her will get Jodie some press. In the past she’s walked around wearing a sign begging for men’s sperm right after she announced she was a lesbian (hence why she needed to solicit sperm). Before she decided to be a lesbian, Jodie had an MTV reality show where men competed to marry her and she competed to wear a belt as a bra. I guess that’s not really a competition, since she was the only one doing it. And that was actually the second time Jodie pranced around wearing a thin strip of leather intended to hold up a three pound pair of jeans, not a 22 pound pair of boobs. Maybe next time she needs attention Jodie could just borrow some sock garters and strap those around her nipples instead. It’ll still get her the press, but decrease the odds she’ll get bitch slapped.

But I’m still going to call her a quiche face either way.

Here’s Jodie celebrating her 30th birthday last December. These aren’t the most recent pictures of her, but they’re definitely the trashiest. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

Heather Mills, a former US “Dancing With The Stars” contestant and the generally despised ex wife of Paul McCartney, is reportedly set to appear on the UK reality show “Dancing on Ice.” Mills is a scary, deceitful, self-absorbed person by most accounts and judging from her behavior and interviews. She is also involved in several charities and is an amputee. She’ll get some rightful accolades for being brave enough to enter an ice skating competition with a prosthetic limb, just as she did for her stint on “Dancing.” She’s sure to relish the attention as she always does:

Heather Mills will star in the next series of Dancing on Ice, according to insiders on the ITV reality show.

The 45-year-old has apparently ordered a range of prosthetic legs to get practicing with a professional skater before the programme’s official rehearsals start at the end of the year.

The insider revealed: “Heather has often been linked with Dancing On Ice but this year she’s finally decided to do it.

“In typical Heather fashion, she is convinced she’ll be a huge attraction.

“She knows she divides people but there’s never a dull moment with her. Whatever people say about her, she’s certainly entertaining.”

The ex-wife of Paul McCartney is rumoured to be starring alongside former England goalkeeper Peter Shilton and Simon Cowell’s ex girlfriend and X Factor mentor Sinitta.

As usual, it will be presented by Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby when it returns to our screeens in January.

[From Mirror.co.uk]

The UK doesn’t have much patience for this woman because they’re more familiar with her antics. “Dancing on Ice” is scored much like “Dancing With The Stars” in that both the judge’s scores and the public vote counts toward keeping contestants on the show. Maybe Heather will be off the show within a week or two, owing to the public’s lack of good will toward her, or maybe she’ll surprise us and will last much longer. She does deserve some credit for putting herself out there and trying to skate as an amputee. For everything you can say about this woman, she’s definitely not shy. She’s also not going away.

Along with this rumored stint on “Dancing on Ice,” Heather has reportedly signed up to film an episode of another reality competition show with Katie Price aka Jordan. The two will compete in some kind of contest while on the rides at an amusement park. The show, called “Scream If You Know The Answer!”, will air on UKTV and is hosted by Duncan James of the group Blue. James will “give the stars a string of task during a daring day out at Surrey’s Thorpe Park.” My money is on Mills if there’s any kind of trivia involved.

Heather is shown on 8/27/08. Credit: WENN.com