Shortly after Lady Gaga’s video for “Alejandro” premiered, Katy Perry got up on her Jesusy high horse and tweeted “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.” Many people assumed this was directed at Gaga, but we didn’t really have concrete proof. However, Katy didn’t correct us… until now. Katy told E! that her “blasphemy” tweet was just a general statement, not specifically aimed at Gaga. Although she claims she’s often offended by her fiance Russell Brand and his statements against “the Lord Jesus Christ.” Yeah… she used to be gospel singer, and her daddy’s a pastor. Can’t you tell? Oh, and Katy also says something about hypocrisy:

Feud? What feud? Let’s get this straight: Katy Perry is all about building people up. Unless you smack-talk Jesus, then you’re getting a smacking. She’s done as much to fiancé Russell Brand. But despite what you, the media and anyone literate enough to digest 140 characters may have inferred, she has absolutely not done as much to Lady Gaga.

While the blogosphere exploded last week with news of a Twitter-induced Perry-Gaga feud, this week the “California Gurls” singer made the promotional rounds for her new album and, naturally, found herself in the potentially awkward position of having to field a few questions about her controversial tweet that seemingly took Gaga to task for the religious iconography in her “Alejandro” video.

Turns out, it was all just one big misunderstanding.

“I’m a massive fan,” she told EW of her ladyship. She added that the tweet, which stated, “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke,” was not even directed at Gaga and instead was “more of a non-specific, general thing.”

“But everybody made it out to be a cat fight. I think people love cat fights. It’s a turn-on for people.”

Besides, if there’s anyone it may have been directed at, it was her husband-to-be.

“The other day he was yelling out the window. He said something a bit off color, kind of blasphemous about the Lord Jesus Christ, and I smacked him for it.” Surely that’s not what Jesus would do?

“It’s just kind of deeply rooted inside of me, and hard to get away from. But everybody knows I am a massive Lady Gaga fan. If you look through my tweets, there will be about 10 of them that say that I am obsessed with her.”

Fair enough. But maybe she should have quit while her denial tour was ahead. Instead, she continued to explain her comment on a French radio interview over the weekend and let slip yet another artist she wasn’t exactly thrilled with.

“Lately, I’ve just been seeing some things that are kind of…not something I would do, I guess,” she said. “Like, you know when Madonna was on the cross? And, like, sometimes my boyfriend will say things that are ehhh… From where I come from, it’s hard for me to say that…”

Yet she’s self-aware enough to know that her opinion isn’t shared by all and that issue will inevitably be taken with her justification.

“[People say] I’m a very hypocritical person, ‘How do you say that and [sing] ‘I Kissed a Girl’? Spirituality and sexuality are two separate things. When you decide to put it into the same subject, it gets interesting for some people. Everyone knows…I’ve said 100 times on my Twitter: I’m one of the biggest Lady Gaga and Madonna and Russell Brand fans. Some people have different viewpoints.”

And some people have a little bit of trouble expressing them properly the first time around. Surely Lady Gaga can relate to that.

[From E! News]

I get that some people have “different viewpoints” and someone who is very religious can be friends or have sex with or even marry someone who doesn’t give a crap about God or religion. That’s fine, live and let live. But Katy’s explanation for her hypocrisy – “Spirituality and sexuality are two separate things. When you decide to put it into the same subject, it gets interesting for some people” – is weird, right? Like, Katy thinks she’s here to make us love Jesus more with her boobs? I think that’s what she’s saying? Her boobs are prosthelitizing. And beyond that, that tweet just came across as judgy and holier-than-thou, no matter who it was directed at.

Yesterday, we got to see Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro”. It was a nine-minute long opus of militaristic themes, bowl/mushroom haircuts, latex and love. Go here for my recap. All in all, the quality of the video was good, although much of the imagery and general “vibe” did seem like early 1990s Madonna. Lots of “Vogue” and “Express Yourself”. And much like Lady Madge, Gaga has a thing about crosses and crucifixes and being a general blasphemer, all in the name of “art”. At one point in the video, it’s obvious that Gaga’s bikini bottom has a big red latex cross on her vadge. Oh, and Gaga deep-throated a crucifix and some rosary beads. Here’s the video again:

Remember Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” and the burning crosses and how big of a deal that was? Like, Madge pissed off so many people with that one – of course, she also made out with a black dude AND Jesus (Christ, not Luz) in that one. So maybe Gaga has a way to go, controversy-wise? Probably. Because so far, the only person Gaga has pissed off is one little Katy Perry. Katy got on her high horse and tweeted this message:

[From Katy Perry’s Twitter]

Eh. Sure, I guess some religious people will find some of Gaga’s imagery to be tasteless and/or offensive and/or sacrilegious. They’ve got a point. However, this is one of those moments where I think the offended should pick their battles. If you’re really and truly offended, then by all means, say something and speak your mind. But if you’re only mildly peeved and just want to vent (like I suspect Katy Perry is), hold your breath because you’re just giving Gaga more attention. Plus, there’s a little matter of the Gaga-to-Katy comparison. In my humble opinion, Lady Gaga is a much more talented artist/pop star than Katy, so Katy needs to sit down and STFU. I mean, really. Oh, and Katy’s just upset because her thunder got stolen by Gaga – Katy released her video for “California Gurls” yesterday too.

Some of Our Lady of Blasphemers’ worst images:

Yesterday, I put up some recent quotes from Katy Perry where she was claiming that she and Russell Brand were “the new Brangelina”. Well, a lot of you hated on my piece about them, but I still think it’s funny. Now when I’m looking at these cheesy photos of Russell and Katy at the Get Him To the Greek premiere, all I can think is “The New (Budget, Cheese-fest, Ridiculous) Brangelina!”

And seriously, how tacky does Katy Perry look? She’s a pretty girl, but much like Jessica Simpson, her style – her actual taste in clothing and makeup – veers to “drag queen.” The sparkles, the slit, the shoes, the hair, the makeup. It’s not even Budget Bettie Page anymore. It’s just cheap, budget. I have to admit, though, I laughed out loud when I saw Russell Brand. Easy, Playa. Do you think he agonized over how many buttons to leave open? And I don’t think those skinny pants were meant for ankle boots, just FYI to Russell. Russell also just did a long interview with The Sun, and he has some nice things to say about being faithful to Katy (complete Sun interview here):

Russell has been dating pop star Katy for only eight months, but is already calling her “my wife”. And it seems she has achieved the impossible – by finally stopping his eye from roving.

In an exclusive interview with The Sun, 34-year-old Essex-born Russell is first asked if he will be faithful – and he replies: “Yes, you have to be. That’s one of the things about this institution of marriage. My wife recently explained to me, ‘You must be faithful’ and I don’t have a problem with that. I’m really, really in love.”

But when pressed about how tough this will be, he continues: “There is certainly a compromise. You just can’t maraud through life f***ing whoever you’d like – which is a shame, because I wish I actually could do that. That’s the compromise.”

The wedding is reportedly set for October, although no exact date or venue has been announced yet. He insists that women are no longer falling at his feet since he got engaged in January.

He says: “My feet are unencumbered by draped women. They have been for a little while, but I enjoy it enormously.”

And for anyone wishing to copy Russell’s success with the opposite sex, here is his advice: “Everyone inside themselves has a little self-doubt. If you help them to overcome that by recognising how beautiful they are it’s almost impossible for them not to have sex with you.”

[From The Sun]

Well, sort of nice. Nice for Russell Brand. Is it weird that I kind of believe that he’s actually trying to give monogamy a go? Sure, it won’t last. But I like him a little more for trying and succeeding, for however short a span of time. All hail the New Brangelina!

The New Brangelina at the “Greek” premiere on May 25, 2010. Credit: WENN.

I know many of you are haters, but I’ve been missing juicy Brangelina gossip. There hasn’t been a good story about either (or both) of them in a while. Hopefully, that will end soon, because Angelina has Salt coming out in July, and I’ve heard a rumor that she’s going to be either the July or the August cover girl for Vanity Fair. She’ll probably appear on a few other monthly magazines too, so we’ll have lots of quotes to analyze and over-analyze.

Here’s a question – will I ever have another celebrity that I love to write about as much the Brangelina clan? Well, yes, I already do, with Gerard Butler and Clive Owen. Unfortunately Clive keeps his sh-t quiet (BOO!) but Gerard gives me some interesting stuff to play with. Still, Gerard is no Brangelina. Perhaps we do need a “new Brangelina” – a couple to discuss and analyze, people that everyone has an opinion on.

So who will the “new Brangelina” be? According to Katy Perry, she thinks it will be she and Russell Brand. What the…? Her actual words, when she was being interviewed by Seacrest: “I do feel like the new Brangelina with his movie coming out on Tuesday, Get Him to the Greek. We’re going to the premiere tomorrow and everything is happening at the same time. Which is somewhat of a blessing because if one of us wasn’t working, we’d get annoyed with each other.”

As Gawker replied, “Minus the bitter ex-wife, years of philanthropy, wild pack of children, and untouchable hotness, of course.” In what word is a skuzzy (albeit funny) British comedian and his barely talented fiancee “the new Brangelina”? Besides the side-by-side comparison which does Russell and Katy no favors, nobody really gives a sh-t about them.

One last quote… Katy told Seacrest that their wedding is going to be small because “we have so much bigness going on in our lives.” No comment.

Really? Her? Don’t get me wrong, I do think Katy Perry is pretty, and she has a rocking body. Of all of the celebrity bodies that I think it would be awesome to have, Katy would definitely make my top ten (my number one is probably Blake Lively). Katy’s got a curvy yet athletic body, great proportions, nice legs and chest, and she looks all-natural to my eyes. But is Katy a good “number one” for Maxim’s “Hottest Women”? Not really. Of course, I’m just happy it’s not Megan Fox again. Here’s more about this year’s list:

Katy Perry has hit a high note: She’s been named No. 1 on Maxim’s 2010 Hot 100.

The 25-year-old singer – who’s engaged to Russell Brand and drops a new album this summer – is “a triple — no, quadruple — kind of hot,” Maxim Editor-in-Chief Joe Levy tells UsMagazine.com. “It’s that feeling you get when you suddenly realize that the smartest, funniest, coolest girl you know also happens to the best looking and a pretty good skateboarder, too. All of sudden, your crush goes supernova, and this is Katy’s supernova moment.”

Brooklyn Decker, who landed the coveted cover girl spot on this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, ranked No. 2, edging out Zoë Saldana (No. 3) and Blake Lively (No. 4). “This fiery Victoria’s Secret model makes even our female staff stop and stare,” the Maxim editor told Us.

Megan Fox, who was No. 2 last year, slipped to No. 5. The magazine still calls her “a sex symbol for the ages. Megan’s sultry looks hit every red-blooded guy right in the gut.”

Rounding out the top [10]: Rihanna, George Clooney’s Italian girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis, Olivia Munn, Kim Kardashian and model Marisa Miller.

Last year’s No. 1 girl, House star Olivia Wilde, dipped to No. 20. Wilde still managed to edge out Taylor Swift and Jessica Biel (Nos. 31 and 32, respectively) and Angelina Jolie (No. 38).

Missing from the list altogether: Jennifer Aniston.

[From Us Weekly]

So Blake made it to the top five. That’s good, she was my choice. Brooklyn Decker is beautiful, but does anyone else think her beauty is a little boring? Like, she looks like dozens of other models. If she wasn’t named after a borough, I wouldn’t be able to pick her out a lineup. Zoe Saldana is a lovely girl too, no complaints there. And I guess Megan Fox has some sort of contractual obligation to appear in the top five.

Now, I get that this list is for teenage boys, I really do. But in what world do teenage boys find Taylor Swift hotter than Angelina Jolie? Really? And Elisabetta Canalis…? For the love of God, who got paid off for Canalis to make it on this list?

Here is Katy Perry at the Met Ball last night. I didn’t include her on the Trashy or Classy lists, because really, who cares? I think she’s pretty, but she’s never been fashionable. It’s like she’s the budget Dita Von Teese, only Dita is like a million times better. Anyway, I only saw photos of Katy’s dress when it looked normal and boring, but apparently the dress was lined with LED lights. See:

Totally moronic, right? Anyway, Katy told Us Weekly: “I love it! I think it’s so much fun. I feel like I have to wear something to represent women who do their own thing and have spontaneity!” She also said that she had the light switch in her bra, and “I don’t know if that’s a good place for it or not!”

Anyway, Katy also appears on the cover of Lucky magazine for June. She talks about the evolution of her look, saying, “I’ve gone from Betty Boop to more Bettie Page. It’s less cute and more meow.” Bettie Page? Bitch, please. Katy also talks about her style in the olden days, pre-fame: “I was completely broke. I used to borrow outfits, get my makeup done at makeup counters, and then sneak into events. It was cool! I seemed to be wearing things right.” Here is the cover shot and addition photo:

Photos of Katy in Lucky Magazine, courtesy of Lucky online.

Is it shocking that Russell Brand and Katy Perry are still going strong? It shocks me. I really expected Russell to already be on his fiftieth hooker of the new year by now. Anyway, they got engaged back in January during a little holiday in India. They had only been dating for a few months, and they immediately had to weather a pregnancy rumor storm – which Katy quickly nipped in the bud by announcing on Twitter that she had her period (“That’s right I’m BLEEDING”). And now Katy tells MTV (via Us Weekly) that she and Russell are still going strong, and that he’s the one planning their wedding. Apparently, Russell is something of a Bridezilla:

How are wedding plans going to for Katy Perry?

“Well, I have to plan my [new album, due this summer] first and then I’m going to get to my wedding,” the singer, 25, tells MTV News. “But I’m really excited about that, too.

Her fiance Russell Brand has been “a total bridezilla,” she says. “He’s like a freak, man. You should see — he’s always, like, buying bride magazines. Every time we go out for breakfast he’s like, ‘Can we just stop and get a bride magazine?’”

Perry recently told UsMagazine.com they might just wind up eloping. “We just want it to mean something,” she said when asked about the kind of ceremony she wants. “It doesn’t matter if it’s just me and him or if it’s a big, fat ordeal.”

At the moment, Perry said she just enjoys being engaged. Asked how it’s going so far, she told Us, “Fabulous! Better than I would imagine engagements typically do!”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay, the idea of Russell reading bride magazines is hysterical to me. It’s the guy you’d least suspect, isn’t it? The ones you assume are going to sensitive and wonderful turn out to be douches, and the dudes who have spent the better part of a decade engaged in a neverending orgy are the ones who really care about the flower arrangements. I really love Katy’s sentiments too – I think I’m one of those women lacking “the bride gene,” to quote that Sex and the City episode. I don’t really give a crap about white dresses and flower arrangements and having a big ceremony. I really think that if I ever marry, I’ll probably elope just to avoid the drama. With my luck, though, I’ll end up with a Bridezilla groom who wants to stage the whole thing like a Las Vegas show (yes, I’ll probably end up marrying a gay dude).

These are photos of Katy Perry and her boobs at Saturday’s Kids Choice Awards. I was going to do something about the fashion at the event, but honestly, I didn’t know who most of the people/children were, and the majority of the fashion was pretty basic cocktail/casual wear and most people looked fine – not stunning but not horrible. So, I probably won’t do anything about the fashion, but if you want to see a good compilation of Best & Worst dressed, Radar has a good slideshow. The one exception to the “I don’t know who that is but they look okay” summary is Katy Perry. Because this chick has no fashion sense, and she dresses as if she thinks she’s the Budget Bettie Page-meets-Vegas showgirl. This might have been a cute/sexy look for the MTV VMAs or something, but this is a show for children, Katy. Put your boobs away.

However, Katy did show that she was a good sport at the actual show. She got slimed! Of course, she had a costume change, into a (rubber?) yellow dress and blue wig.

As for the actual awards, it’s as bad as you would expect. Taylor Lautner was named Favorite Movie Actor, with Miley Cyrus taking Actress. Favorite musical group was Black Eyed Peas, and the favorite TV actor and actress were Dylan Sprouse and Selena Gomez. Favorite Movie? Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. Yikes! First Lady Michelle Obama was given the “Big Help Award” for all of her work to improve kids’ diets. Full list of winners here. There were also performances by Justin Bieber and Rihanna. I put some photos of Rihanna below – she wore the pale pink on the red carpet, and performed in the black and hot pink dress. I actually like the pale pink one, but is she wearing silver ankle socks with her high heels?

Katy Perry at the Kids Choice awards in LA on March 27, 2010. Credit: WENN.

On Monday we reported the rumors swirling around Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s possible shotgun engagement – apparently, they were tweeting some crap about “bumps” and “prego” and some people got the wrong idea. And by “wrong idea” I mean “they wanted us to think that she could be pregnant because they wanted the attention.” Anyway, she’s not knocked up. We know because she tweeted “@thedoctoluke ur gonna make me cry, maybe that’s my period tho. THAT’S RIGHT I’M BLEEDING. Face. Better luck next month peepz.” God, I hate Twitter:

Despite the rumors circulating online, Katy Perry is not pregnant.

The star’s rep tells UsMagazine.com that reports claiming Perry — who got engaged to Russell Brand on New Year’s Eve in India — was getting a sonogram and showing off a baby bump were “not true.”

Plus, the singer, 25, took to her Twitter account to say that she was on “my period” Wednesday evening.

“Better luck next month peepz,” she posted.

Still, Perry didn’t do much to squash pregnancy rumors this past Sunday, when she and her fiance scoped out booties at a baby boutique in North London.

[From Us Weekly]

I’m actually wondering if Katy did have a pregnancy “scare” just because the expression Russell has been wearing for the past few weeks is that of a man who just got in over his head. Anyway, do you think Katy is actually trying to get pregnant? It wouldn’t be a surprise, I think. But I think Russell is going to be wrapping it big-time. Perhaps he can give some lessons to Jude Law.

Katy Perry in LA on January 13, 2010 and on January 12. Credit: Fame Pictures. Katy and Russell in India on December 30, 2009. Credit: Barcroft/Fame Pictures.

Last week, Us Weekly was the first to report that Katy Perry and Russell Brand got engaged as they vacationed in India. This was later confirmed by both Brand and Perry, to various media outlets. Katy and Russell have only been dating for a few months, having perhaps their first hookup at, during or shortly after the 2009 VMAs last September. Even though it seemed very sudden, my most immediate thought was simply “crazy kids, it won’t last but it will be fun.” It didn’t even occur to me that the engagement was some kind of ode to old-fashioned tradition, because Katy Perry might be knocked up with a little Brand baby! Oh, God:

OK, Katy Perry, now you’ve got us curious.

Either we’re reading too much between the Tweets, or the 25-year-old “Kiss the Girl” singer is sprinkling clues she’s having a baby with new fiancé Russell Brand.

It started with her Jan. 1 message: “Let me tell you 2010 is BUMPIN!” Then on Friday, Perry wrote, “Hey @rustyrockets” – Brand’s Twitter name – “i heard ur prego-ed.” She adds, “I WANT IN AND OUT,” a Southern California hamburger chain, before telling Brand, “I love you … (awwwww barf!).”

Bump, prego, cravings, barf? It was all very cryptic, but then it was only a few days ago that Perry made oblique song lyric references on Twitter – before Brand came out and confirmed they were engaged on New Year’s Eve.

[From People]

I’ve tried to figure out if Katy and Russell’s tweets are the only “evidence” of a possible pregnancy, and I think that’s what everyone’s basing their stories on. It’s interesting, I guess. I mean, if she is pregnant, God bless. If she isn’t, that’s fine too, no judgment. I doubt either of them will be the best parents in the world, but they won’t be the worst either. It could be a fun experiment for them, I guess. And Katy’s pregnancy could explain why Brand looks so weird lately. In photos of Brand from the past week, he doesn’t really look… thrilled with the turn of events. More like “shell-shocked.”

By the way, Russell and Katy stepped out in London a lot over the past few days, and photographers got some snaps of Katy’s ring. It doesn’t look huge, but it’s pretty. I think it looks like an estate piece, which is nice if Russell picked it out:

Russell and Katy in London on January 10, 2010. Also, a close-up of Katy’s engagement ring. Credit: INFphoto.com.