When Keith Richards gives you life advice, you listen. Why? Because he’s freaking Keith Richards. Stories about him are legendary. There is no way to ascertain the difference between truth and legend with this man – but I would wager 98% of what you hear about him is the truth. This was the man who was knocked unconscious – resulting in a pretty serious head injury – falling out of a coconut tree. And this was fairly recent, not during the Rolling Stone’s crazy glory days. Keith and Stones’ singer Mick Jagger were interviewed by the Mail, and Keith told them Amy Winehouse was the only singer he finds worth mentioning - but that she’ll be dead soon if she doesn’t change her ways.

Rolling Stone Keith Richards has revealed the only modern pop star he rates is troubled Amy Winehouse. But the guitarist - famous for his huge consumption of illegal drugs - warned that Amy, who was pictured recently smoking crack, “wouldn’t be around for long” unless she cleaned up her act. The Stones’ lead singer Mick Jagger also said Winehouse’s music would suffer because of the time she spent dealing with the authorities over drugs.

Asked which modern artists he rated, he said: “There’s only one person. That girl Amy [Winehouse]. Mind you, that girl isn’t going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy’s got to get smart.” Richards, 64, said he did not expect her to listen. He said: “I’m not a preacher. But I’ve been there and you have to pass it on.”

Jagger, also 64, spoke of the band’s trouble with the police over drugs in the Seventies. He said: “It completely took over our lives creatively and we couldn’t do this and couldn’t do that. You had to spend all your time trying to deal with the police. The same thing has happened to Amy Winehouse.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black, or is it more like, “Hey, when even Keith Richards is telling you to lay off, it’s probably something you should consider?” Probably a little of each. If nothing else, Keith is a great cautionary tale. Look at that man’s face. Tell me he doesn’t look 92, and I’ll tell you that you’re a damn liar. The man battled a coconut for God’s sakes. I realized I already mentioned that, but I’m a little hung up on it. It’s not your average occurrence. If nothing else, I’d guess that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger are probably musicians Amy respects. Maybe their advice will merit a bit of consideration for that reason.

We’ve had plenty of pictures of stars entering rehab, looking unkempt and lost, so it’s nice to see Amy Winehouse out and about looking great. Or at least better. She headed out of her rehab facility in London to get her teeth fixed. Glamming up for the Grammys?

Emerging from a second visit to a London dentist on Saturday, Amy flashed a bright white smile to onlookers before being escorted by her father Mitch back to the centre she is receiving treatment in.

This is a far-cry from December when she was spotted with gaps in her mouth suggesting her teeth had fallen out.

A friend close to her admitted at the time: “She has one missing from the front of her mouth, and another one at the back which is less visible.

“Her mouth is full of holes and she is desperately worried she is going to lose more. She has actually pulled a tooth out herself, which is absolutely disgusting.”

“Her gums are always red and sore as a result of it and some of the teeth are loosening.”

Daily Mail

It’s absolutely fantastic that her supportive family were with her. The Daily Mail picture show Amy as a poster girl for rehab, cheekily sticking her tongue out at the photographer. She’s gained some much-needed weight, her mouth is full of teeth now, and her beehive is back, and she’s fully dressed. Combined with her trademark eye make up she’s back to being the Amy we all fell in love with. Swoon. She looks like a recovering addict should look, not like when a celebrity sells their rehab story to a magazine and then gets some glossy pictures of themselves taken looking fabulous. No one looks great three days out of rehab.

Amy went back into the rehab facility, without making any side trips to see her husband in jail, or visit her crack dealer, or any other destructive behaviour. She’s also apparently turned down the Osbournes’ offer to stay with them after she checks out. While I’m not sure if Ozzy and Sharon should be trusted with anyone’s mental health - they couldn’t even train their dogs - Ozzy is a good example of why you should stay off the drugs. If I’m going to have an exciting, amazing music career, I’d like to remember it.

The ever charming Keith Richards also has some advice for Amy.

Asked at the Berlin International Film Festival - where he’s promoting new Martin Scorsese Rolling Stones documentary ‘Shine A Light’ – whether he had advice for Amy and her battle with drugs, Richards answered, “She should get her act together.”

The veteran rocker – no stranger to addictive substances himself – then helpfully added, “Apart from that, I have got nothing to say to the bitch.”

Gigwise

He’s an absolute gentleman, isn’t he? Don’t hold your breath waiting for Keith Richards to get his act together. Mick Jagger added that when the Rolling Stones were young, there were no rehab facilities, or at least they weren’t aware of them.

Amy won five Grammys last night. Her album “Back to Black” won for best pop vocal album, she received best female pop vocal performance and single of the year for “Rehab,” , and she also won best female pop vocalist and best new artist.

Thanks to The Daily Mail and WENN for the header image.l

That’s one of those headlines I wish I were creative enough to have made up all on my own, just to make you all laugh. But each word in that delicious title is entirely true. You may remember that the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards suffered from a bit of an injury after he fell from a coconut tree in Fiji last year. What was Keith Richards doing up a coconut tree? That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard. What would Keith Richards not be doing up a coconut tree? Now that makes more sense. As a result of the fall, he had to have brain surgery. Yeah it must have been a pretty severe fall to necessitate opening up his cranium. I’m guessing that the doctors had gotten confused and assumed the coconut had somehow slammed into Richard’s head so hard that it knocked his brain clear out of his body and the coconut now resided where his brain was supposed to be. Yeah that sounds far-fetched, but this is also the guy who - since this accident – has claimed that he snorted his own father’s ashes. So I’m thinking having a coconut for a brain could make a lot of sense, medically.

Well since the accident, Richards has had to take Dilantin to prevent seizures, causing many to be concerned for his health.

Keith Richards sparked fears for his health after slurring his way through an acceptance speech. The Rolling Stones rocker - who picked up the prize for Best Cameo at Spike TV’s Scream 2007 awards for his performance in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End’ - rocked back and forth as he mumbled his thanks to fans and co-star Johnny Depp in a pre-recorded video message. Keith, 63, said: “Thank you all fans voting for me in, you know. It’s a first - it’s not my land, usually, to do this sort of stuff, but due to enormous public pressure. I’ve got to say thank you very, very, much and also to Johnny - who insisted that I play his father.” He added: “We had a great time and it was a wonderful thing. Driving into the Disney studios, I laughed. God, at last I’m working for Mickey Mouse.”

It has now emerged Keith’s slurred speech - which had the audience at the glitzy Los Angeles ceremony on Friday (19.10.07) in hysterics - could be a side effect of the medication he takes daily to prevent seizures. The guitarist has taken the powerful drug Dilantin - which slows down nerve impulses in the brain - every day since undergoing brain surgery after he fell out of a coconut tree in Fiji 18 months ago. Keith - a former heroin addict - has previously joked taking Dilantin means he has to limit his intake of illegal substances. He said: “The drug I’m on now because of the brain job, Dilantin, means you can’t take cocaine any more, which is fine with me.”

[From Divine]

I have to say, he still sounds the same to me. Isn’t Keith Richards known for being an incoherent mess? Now he just has a reason that makes you feel sorry for him instead of judging him. I am pretty sure that the Dilantin isn’t the problem – I think there’s a 99% likelihood that the aforementioned coconut is still living in his brain. Or it ate his brain. One or the other.

Keith Richards is a good example for children. Kids, don’t do drugs – you might snort your father up like cocaine, or pull a gun on your bandmate, or forget how to play music. Music you wrote and played for half a century. Ronnie Wood, the young one in the Rolling Stones, has put out these claims in his autobiography. Which are probably true, unless they are his own delusional drug flashbacks.

Keith was reportedly furious with Ronnie for smoking purified cocaine in a method known as freebasing.

Ronnie recalls: “After a row with Keith one day, he stormed off to get his gun. I warned everyone to ‘clear the decks’. Keith came back with his Derringer gun, pointed it at me and yelled, ‘You f***ing b*****d Woody!’.

“But I had my own gun, a .44 Magnum. I didn’t have any bullets for it but I calmly pulled it out. And that was the last time Keith pulled a gun on me - until the next time.”

In the tome, Ronnie confesses he became so addicted to cocaine he once banned his children from eating meringues in the house after he mistook a white crumb for a chunk of the drug and attempted to smoke it.

New Zealand Herald

Say no to drugs kids.

There are rumours around again that the Rolling Stones are going to retire – but Mick Jagger doesn’t think so.

Answering questions from readers of the BBC News website, the star, who has just spent two years touring with the band, said they had no plans to retire.

“I’m sure the Rolling Stones will do more things and more records and more tours. We’ve got no plans to stop any of that really,” the 64-year-old said.

“As far as I’m concerned I’m sure we’ll continue,” he added.

BBC

The Rolling Stones made $558,255,524 on their Bigger Bang tour, despite issues facing the band. Like Keith Richards falling out of a coconut tree in Fiji and suffering a head injury. Why would you retire? Why wouldn’t you keep travelling the world, having mini-breaks in Fiji, and making gazillions? I guess Ronnie’s allegations of the Stones forgetting how the songs go can’t be too serious – they remember them well enough for their shows.

The Stones are shown in 8/20/06 performing at Twickenham in London, thanks to PRPhotos.

Keith Richards - the man who thinks snorting dead relatives’ ashes is a good idea – has taken a Swedish reviewer to task for giving the Stones concert a particularly bad review. The reviewer did make a few jabs at Richards specifically, but who amongst us hasn’t over the years? Keith Richards is kind of before my time, but I remember very specifically when I was born, the doctor explained life briefly and said “Cry a lot, poop a lot, and make a lot of jokes about Keith Richards.” All people are born with the knowledge that this is okay because Richards sets himself up for it, and just one of the things we’re supposed to do.

“Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has demanded an apology from Swedish newspapers for their scathing reviews of the group’s performance in the country earlier this month. Tabloids Expressen and Aftonbladet gave thumbs down to the Aug. 3 concert at Ullevi stadium in Goteborg, with Expressen suggesting Richards was ‘superdrunk’ on stage.”

[From Newsday]

Well apparently Keith Richards is mad as hell, and he’s not going to take it anymore. He actually responded to the reviewer, and told him he’d cheapened the experience for all the fans at the concerts, and all of the poor saps who love the Rolling Stones but couldn’t afford the $145 tickets.

“‘This is a first!’ the 63-year-old rock star wrote in a letter published by Stockholm daily Dagens Nyheter. ‘Never before have I risen to the bait of a bad review. But this time … I have to stand up … for our fans all over Sweden … to say that you owe them, and us, an apology.’”

“Dagens Nyheter said it received the letter from concert organizer EMA Telstar. Company head Thomas Johansson told The Associated Press that Richards wrote the letter and gave it to him after reading translations of the Swedish reviews. “‘There were 56,000 people in Ullevi stadium who bought a ticket to our concert — and experienced a completely different show than the one you ‘reviewed,’” the letter said.”

“‘How dare you cheapen the experience for them — and for the hundreds of thousands of other people across Sweden who weren’t at Ullevi and have only your ‘review’ to go on. Write the truth. It was a good show.’ In his review, Aftonbladet’s music writer Markus Larsson gave the concert a score of two on a five-point scale, and said Richards appeared ‘a bit confused.’

“‘I am not going to apologize for my subjective opinion, ‘ Larsson told the paper’s Web edition on Wednesday. ‘It is Keith who should apologize. After all it costs around 1,000 kronor ($145) to see a rock star who can hardly handle the (guitar) riff to ‘Brown Sugar’ any more.’”

[From Newsday]

How dare the reviewer disagree? I think someone needs to explain to Keith Richards how reviews work. They’re rarely positive. The reviewer always thinks he’s better than the performer, because he’s generally some elitist snob. It’s probably best not to read them for 38 different reasons. Either way, the guy saying that Keith Richards wasn’t exactly on his game isn’t earth shattering news. Again, this is before my time, but haven’t people been saying that about him since the Stones early days? Not that he wasn’t good/great whatever, but due to the massive, ridiculous quantities of drugs, the guy wasn’t always playing with a level deck, right? Unless the Keith Richards Exit Polling Machine was working at all the doors to the stadium, I doubt he really can know that none of the people there would have agreed with the reviewer. That’d be really cute though, if you had exit polling machines shaped like a giant, dried up/shriveled Keith Richards, and you could press buttons that said “Awesome” or “Sucked way hard.” If he’s going to complain about bad reviews from now on, he should probably either quit eating drugs for breakfast and/or quit the band and focus on the machines. Either way would be better for him.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Keith at the : Pirates Of The Caribbean premiere in May. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Keith Richards has changed his mind again. A sign of early alzheimer’s? Here’s what he has to say now about what he puts up his nose.

“The cocaine bit was rubbish,” he said. “I said I chopped him up like cocaine, not with.

“I pulled the lid off [my father’s urn] and out comes a bit of dad on the dining room table,” Richards continued. “I’m going, ‘I can’t use the brush and dustpan for this’.

“What I found out is that ingesting your ancestors is a very respectable way of… y’know, he went down a treat.”

NME

Keith, whatever, anything you put up your nose is kind of gross. Fingers, cocaine, ashes…But I can kind off see your point about the dustpan. I wouldn’t want to mix someone’s ashes up with food scraps and bits of cat hair either. I’m not sure about ingesting your ancestors being respectable though?

Here’s what he had to say before, but he was recovering from a head injury (also discussed in the NME interview) so maybe that was the problem.

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow.

“My dad wouldn’t have cared, he didn’t give a shit. It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

NME

When I was in my early teens I discovered the Rolling Stones and played all my parents records. After merciless mocking at school, I then worked out the band were older than my parents. I’m not sure why the fact that the albums were vinyl didn’t clue me in.

Anyway, the Stones still rock pretty hard. As Keith says “They’re the only band I care about, I can’t wait to get back on the road with those bastards, who happen to miraculously be one of the best bands in the world. I dunno how the hell it happened.”