Okay, so I finally got to see Kelly Bensimon’s epic meltdown on the season finale on RHONY. I know that all of the ladies have come to conclusion that Kelly is seriously mentally ill, but it’s still kind of funny when Bethenny and Ramona go off to the side and Bethenny is like “I told you so! There’s something wrong with her!” I also like the new girl, Sonja or whatever muttering “I can’t even diffuse you anymore” to Kelly. Here’s Part 1 of the video:

Here’s the second video – this is where all of the other women come to the understanding that Kelly is f-cking crazy and they need to stop making fun of her and to stop yelling at her:

Kelly doesn’t think there’s anything wrong in retrospect however. Is she back on her meds? We’ll never know. Kelly told Us Weekly: “Some people are like, ‘You had a breakdown,’ and I’m like, no, I had a breakthrough.” Kelly said she was “very anxious” about the vacation with the other RHONYs and “I was asked by women who don’t like me at all. I always have positive expectations of people, and I always think the best, and you know, that’s my Achilles’ heel, is that I’m positive and feel like people are going to be nice. But the nature of the show isn’t that. [They’re] not happy I’m on the show, they’re just not…I’m very sensitive, and if someone says something very rude to me over and over again, I’m human. Shoot me. I’m completely honest, I have a ton of integrity. The minute I walk into the room, I create…this stagnant frenetic energy. Let’s be honest. It makes for awesome TV…if they’re not hating on you, you’re not doing something right.” Crazy bitch.

Kelly Bensimon in Miami on May 2, 2010. Credit: BRJ/Fame.

A while back, I did a post calling “Is there something wrong with Kelly Bensimon’s bikini body?” I was trying to be nice, and attempting to not go full-scale bitch on a woman with a less-than-perfect body. The response was overwhelming, and most of you agreed with me that yes, there was something seriously sketchy. Commenter Lady Nightshade thought that Kelly’s strange body was the perhaps the result of budget lipo and a sketchy tummy tuck. Some of you mentioned that there was something very masculine about not just her body, but the way she carried herself. In any case, we had a fun time analyzing.

You would think that after those photos came out, Kelly might invest in a one-piece so as not to frighten children with her Franken-belly. Not so much. These are photos from a few days ago of Kelly on the beach in Miami. Fame Pictures notes that she was there for her birthday celebration, and that none of her Real Housewife frenemies showed up. You know what? I don’t really care about her personality. If she was my friend (or even if she wasn’t), I would tell her directly: “You need to buy a one-piece swimsuit, and you need to wear it every time you go to the beach. You’re scaring people.” The Hollywood Gossip is even harsher: “We have some advice for her: cover up. Seriously. We’ll send over a blanket if that helps. The reality star is thin, but far from toned. We actually have no idea what’s going on with her stomach in some of these pictures, and don’t exactly get turned on by the sight of ribs jutting out of a woman’s side.” I don’t even think they are in fact “ribs”. I think whatever is happening on her abdomen is some unholy combination of gristle, muscle, fat and internal organs. Yikes.

Kelly in Miami on May 2, 2010. Credit: BRJ/Fame.

Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon showed off her bikini body yesterday in Miami. Now… here’s the thing: I don’t like to get all judgy about alleged “imperfections” in ladies’ bikini bodies. I think confidence goes a long way, and nobody is perfect, so I embrace most women who put themselves out there in a bikini, just because I haven’t put myself out there in a bikini in years. Should I embrace Kelly and her imperfect body? As much as I’d like to, I suspect her abdomen looks so jacked because she had some budget liposuction. I mean, that has to be the explanation for it, in my mind. Otherwise, I have no idea what would make her appear so… lumpy.

One of the few things I know about Kelly is about her appearance on the cover of Playboy a few months ago. Maybe it was airbrush/Photoshop/putting her head on someone else’s body, but she did not look like this on the cover of Playboy. Oh, and the other thing I know about her is that she was all up on my boyfriend Gerard Butler once, and he had to shoot her down (because he loves me). So basically, I have good reason for not cutting her a break.

…Maybe she just has really weird muscle development? Or she’s lost a lot of weight recently (from lipo)? Why does her skin look like that? I mean, beyond the sun damage and the orange. So, so lumpy. It’s strange.

Kelly Bensimon in Miami on March 24, 2010. Credit: BRJ/Fame Pictures

Real Housewives’ of NY star Kelly Bensimon joins a long line of women hoping to increase their profiles with a nude spread in Playboy. The 41 year-old mother of two graces the March cover draped in red satin. She was photographed by her ex husband, fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon, and goes topless but doesn’t reveal her nether regions according to advance reports. Bensimon will appear in a six page spread in the upcoming issue, the cover of which has just been released. Here’s an interview she did with E! explaining her decision:

So if you’re not an exhibitionist, why did you do it?
When my agent was like, “Would you be interested in doing this?” at first I was like, “Uh, I don’t think so.” But then I was like, “That would be amazing.” I’m 41. It’s a great image for the rest of the world. Yes, you can have it all. You can have two kids, you can be in shape and you can really enjoy life.

Whose idea was it to have your ex-husband [legendary fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon] shoot it?
That was my idea. No one takes more beautiful pictures of women than Gilles. I know a lot of amazing photographers, and they’re all lovely and awesome, but Gilles makes women better versions of themselves, and that’s what I wanted for Playboy.

What do your daughters think?
They really love that their mommy and daddy are working together. We talked about it. Some of it was filmed for the show.

I’ve seen some of the photos, but not all of them. Do any actually show you south of the border?
I didn’t want to do that. I don’t think that part of a woman’s body is really evocative. The roundness of the hips, the buttocks, the breast, the shoulders, the clavicle, the hair, the teeth—those are things that I think are most evocative and provocative parts of the body. So I don’t think it’s really necessary to show that. Some people might think it’s necessary, but it wasn’t for me.

There’s been some speculation that you did Playboy to try to one-up Bethenny on her “I’d Rather Go Naked” ad for PETA. Any truth to that?
No! Different opportunities come to different people. That’s not me. I don’t play that game.

[From E! Online]

I’ve seen stomach-baring photos of Bensimon exercising outside for the paparazzi, and she’s even run in traffic in New York. I doubt that she’s not an exhibitionist.

What is up with her belly button on the cover? It’s way over to the side. She could possibly be twisting her torso like that, but it really looks like they Photoshopped her belly button too far over. Why didn’t someone catch that before this went to press?

Are these covers with sort-of recognizable pseudo celebrities, like Tara Reid, Heidi Montag and Aubrey O’Day, decent sellers for Playboy? I tried to find out more about this, but it’s hard to get circulation numbers for specific issues. There is news that Playboy cut circulation 38% due to declining sales last fall. Maybe this strategy isn’t working out so well for them. Hugh Hefner is also getting sued by a shareholder for helping contribute to the decreased value of Playboy stock by making bad business decisions.

One photo below from Bensimon’s Twitpic. The other photo is from Playboy via E! Online

Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl attended the London premiere of The Ugly Truth last night. I’m kind of “meh” on Katherine’s dress – while I appreciate a girl who’s not afraid to wear green on a red carpet, the actual cut of the dress is weird. Heigl has a nice figure, I don’t get why she’s been covering up so much lately. As for Gerard, I’m not a huge fan of the scruffy, unshaved look. That being said, I always like him in a suit. And Gerard and Katherine have looked consistently adorable together - I actually think they must get along really well in real life. I wonder what Gerry’s secret is for curing Heigl’s constant diva act?

Gatecrasher has a funny story up about Gerard’s activities in New York last week. Apparently, one of the “Real Housewives of New York” was trying to get her claws into Gerry, and he wasn’t having any of it. Personally, I could totally see Gerard with NeNe, the totally awesome “Real Housewife” of Atlanta. But the broad hitting on Gerry was Kelly Bensimon, whose claim to fame this year has been giving her boyfriend a beatdown. Thank God Gerry steered clear of her:

Kelly Bensimon was in for a taste of the ugly truth when she was apparently dissed by Gerard Butler, with whom she swapped numbers after a night of heavy flirting at the SoHo Grand in June.

The “Real Housewife” looked upset when she caught the Scottish hunk flirting with “Damages” actress Rose Byrne at a Gramercy Park hot spot last week. Says a spy, “Kelly blocked Gerard from speaking to Rose and was flirting up a storm – but he couldn’t have seemed less interested.”

Later, Butler found Byrne, apologized for the awkward situation, and chatted exclusively to the pretty brunette in a private corner for the rest of the evening.

[From Gatecrasher]

Gah! He was chatting up Rose Byrne? She’s pretty and everything, but she plucks my last nerve. Part of it isn’t her fault – she wasn’t cast correctly in Damages, and she doesn’t have the skills to pull off her character. Oh, well. At least she wasn’t a “Real Housewife”. So perhaps Gerry does have some standards? Or at least he has good enough radar to detect Psycho McCrazyEyes.

Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl are shown at the UK premiere of The Ugly Truth on 8/4/09. Kelly Bensimon is shown on 7/22 and 7/9/09. Credit: WENN.com