or perhaps … Stereopeein’ in public

Proving that even rock singers better watch it gettin’ lippy with the fuzz (well bobbies, or actually coppers) Kelly Jones from Stereophonics has been ticketed and warned for that ultimate weekend warrior sin: public urination

Kelly had been on a night out with friends in Camden on Tuesday when he felt nature call. A source told the Sun: “He was relieving himself in the middle of the street outside the Barfly venue when a couple of passing coppers spotted him.”
Kelly himself added: “I said to the copper, ‘You telling me you never had a piss in the street?’ He said that the people of Camden wouldn’t appreciate me urinating on their streets. I said, ‘I know that. That’s why I live in Fulham.’ He said, ‘I’m taking you in.’”

Sounds like they oughtta have taken him in for doing a bad Bugsy Malone imitation as well: ” You’ll never take me alive coppers … not you and your whole flatfoot crew … Now go jerk yourself a soda copper, I’m busy weeing in the road.”

It must be counted an additional benefit for the UK volunteer incontinence brigade that the ‘coppers’ in London don’t carry guns.

In New York your Stereophonic mouthing off gets you the standard issue Mean Streets beat down and you’ve no one to blame but yourself. In the (increasingly) damp streets of Camden town they just make fun of your hair-cut. Apparently the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy quintet are running the local police academy. I kid you not … the story continued thusly

Kelly claims the officers then started to make fun of his haircut. He explained: “I said to the copper he should have a day off. He said, ‘You just had a haircut? I can see the hair on your face.

Not exactly Carson Kressley quality bon mots … still it’s nice that the Talentless Five have found a new gig. How very Madonna of them to have set up house in England.