About a month ago, the rumor mill started working overtime with gossip about Jessica Simpson and her hairstylist/gay BFF Ken Paves. It seems Ken and Jessica were on the outs, and that they were no longer stuck up each other’s asses. Then Us Weekly basically confirmed the damn breakup with a hilarious and bitchy tell-all article that read like a series of snipes from Camp Jess and Camp Ken. Camp Jess basically said that Ken dumped Jessica for Eva Longoria (“hagwrecker”) because he was launching a line of weaves and sh-t in South America (he needed a Latina friend, I guess). Camp Ken basically said that Jess commit’s the cardinal sin of the gay-girl relationship: she dumps her gay every time she gets a new boyfriend! SHOCK. Anyway, Ken just gave a new interview to E! News, and I think we can officially declare Ken and Jess the fourth big split of the week. SOB. Ken has officially dumped Jess.

Yes, Jessica Simpson’s ex-BFF and former go-to hair guy Ken Paves finally admitted what we told you about weeks ago: that he’s no longer snipping Jessica’s locks. So what did he have to say when E! News tracked him down last night?

Paves stumbled when asked if he was still working with Simpson, saying, “Yes, but no, but… that’s what led to the speculation,” he stammered.

So are they friends or not? “Jessica and I have been friends for 12 years,” said Paves at the Operation Smile event in L.A. “I introduced her to Operation Smile many years ago.”

Paves said the friendship “is always there” and that anybody can “say what they want to say” when it comes to the formerly inseparable duo.

“I’m not insecure about it,” he said. But when it came down to it, he came clean that the two still haven’t seen each other in a while.

“I’ve been working on a lot of things that have me in town and traveling,” he said. “We’re both busy and busy is good.”

Here we go with the busy excuse again. Paves says he has met Simpson’s current boyfriend, NFLer Eric Johnson, who seems to be filling the role of supporter and constant companion that Paves used to play.

He’s a great guy,” said Paves. “I’m very happy for Jessica. Very happy.”

[From E! News]

This sh-t is more dramatic than Courteney Cox and David Arquette. Jessica had an “emotional affair” with Eric, and Ken got in a snit and found a new girl, and Jess was all “Why don’t you want to smell my farts anymore, Ken? I thought what we had was real, you know I’ll come back to you as soon as Eric dumps me!” And Ken says “I don’t want you to break my heart. Again.” And Jess is just in denial and so Ken has to be the one to tell people. Meanwhile, they’re both still thinking about each other, but neither one can make the first move. They’re such drama queens!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

A few weeks ago, sources started muttering that Jessica Simpson and her BFF Ken Paves may have “broken up.” We got a tip last month that they weren’t even speaking to each other, and now media outlets are getting a slew of bitchy back-and-forth quotes from Team Simpson and Team Paves. It’s kind of hilarious. If it wasn’t so tragic, so very Jessica Simpson. I actually got a wave of nostaliga while reading this Us Weekly story – this is always how Jess’s breakups go. There are lies and recriminations and so, so much drama it’s like being back in middle school. It was like that with Tony Romo too! I guess it doesn’t matter that Jess and Ken Paves never f-cked. They were more intimate than that – he did her hair!

Jessica Simpson went out to eat with her boyfriend Eric Johnson on September 17, and a fellow diner claims “She looked super-cute.” But something is missing from Simpson’s life lately – her best friend through thick and thin, hairstylist Ken Paves.

The once ever-present Ken Paves has been MIA for months. Though other pals partied in Capri for Jess’s 30th birthday, he was noticeably absent. Tellingly, it was during that same trip that Johnson, 31, made his debut on her arm. Indeed, a Simpson family source says the friendship of 12 years cooled because of the romance: “Ken is sick of her cycle of dumping friends when she’s with a guy.”

In a pattern dating back to her breakup with Nick Lachey, Simpson goes AWOL when in love, only to return to Paves (and margaritas!) to nurse her broken heart post-split.

“She doesn’t care about the world, only herself,” says a source close to Paves. “All she talks about is men, love and sex.”

At the center of the rift is Johnson, a divorcing NFL player whom the Paves source calls “a user.” A Simpson pal says of the four-month relationship, “Her friends are unsure about his intentions. He doesn’t seem to have his own life.”

Seconds a Johnson source, “He was going to go to business school and instead to live with a famous girl in her mansion.”

Although Paves sent a tweet on the September 6 anniversary of Simpson’s dog Daisy’s death by coyote, Latina actress and client Eva Longoria Parker seems to be his BFF du jour.

“It’s a PR move,” says a Simpson source. “Ken’s launching his hair-care line in Latin American.”

But a Paves pal sniffs, “Jessica isn’t his only client – or friend.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Isn’t this one of the most hilariously bitchy pieces you’ve ever read? To the cut about Jessica’s drinking habits (AND MARGARITAS), to dismissing Eva Longoria as just a brown girl who will help him in Latin America, to the inappropriate comparison of Eva to Jess (“sniff”) to this gem: “She doesn’t care about the world, only herself. All she talks about is men, love and sex.” Durr. Would you actually WANT Jess to talk about anything else? Beyond her obvious limitations (mentally), I’m not really dying to hear what she says about the economy or immigration. Anyway, I’m kind of in love with this story… such weepy melodrama, the epic trauma of a gay dude and his hag breaking up FOREVER. Actually, I don’t think it’s going to be forever. If Ken was really burning his bridges, he would have thrown in some quotes about Jessica’s horrible fashion, or her weight gain. That would have been FOREVER.

We got an e-mail from someone last week asking us to look into the fact that Jessica Simpson’s ever-present hairdresser BFF, Ken Paves, was no longer hanging out with her. They wrote “[Ken] is not in NYC doing hair for Jess & her girls for her fashion show & has completley distanced himself from the Simpsons… Something is wrong here.” Sure enough Ken wasn’t around when Jessica had her big fashion show, so she hung all over her new man Eric Johnson instead. Kaiser mentioned this rumor when we first heard about it and wondered if Ken didn’t like Eric or if Jessica and Ken were fighting over something. E! has some insider information that these two are over, and quotes a source who claims “They had a major fight” and “Jessica’s devastated.” Ken denies that he’s upset with Jessica, but he does admit that he hasn’t seen much of her lately.

However, according to a source close to the singer, the hitherto constant companions are “over.” The suddenly former BFFs, almost inseparable over the years, had some problems over the summer, with Paves no longer speaking to Simpson over “something petty.”

“They’ve had a major fight,” the Simpson insider tells E! News. “Jessica’s devastated over it, she loves Ken. He just won’t speak to her at all.”

Simpson tried to make amends, even inviting Paves along to her 30th birthday party in Capri in July, where she brought along her family, girlfriends and new boyfriend Eric Johnson for a relaxing getaway.

Paves, who was always Jessica’s shoulder to cry on though her many loves and losses, turned her down.

“She was so upset,” says the source.

Along with some other drama, Jessica is said to be upset that Ken has been tweeting his love for his other galpal, Eva Longoria, calling her his “best friend.”

“Jessica was heartbroken, they were so close. Maybe one of them will come around,” the source says.

Paves and Simpson, who even collaborated a line of clip-on hair extensions called Hairdo, haven’t been snapped shopping or dining together in months, but maybe Paves is softening, reaching out over Twitter, saying sorry for the loss of Jessica’s beloved pooch, Daisy in early Sept..

But on Sept. 12, Ken tweeted that he loved his friends, and did not include Jessica in those he mentioned.

Still, there’s hope these two kids could work it out. Although Paves did not attend her denim debut at Fashion Week in New York, he did send her a tweet reading, “@JessicaSimpson have an amazing show!! Strut your stuff ladies!”

And he insists there’s no rift between the two, telling E! News he’s been unable to travel to see her because of projects.

“Jessica and I are definitely still friends. Jess is very supportive of my other relationships as I am of hers! The truth is we have both been busy and on different schedules,” he says. “I know Jessica is very excited for me! I’ve brought her dad Joe on to manage these projects. It’s all in the family! We are all definitely still friends…”

[From E! Online]

Jessica may be the type of person who ignores her best friend when she has a new boyfriend or maybe Ken just couldn’t deal with the fact that Eric was hanging around all the time. It’s got to hurt, though, to be replaced by Eva Longoria. Ken has also been tweeting with a Singer named Nyke Prince and has posted photos hanging out with her and several other people. Maybe these two just grew apart or Ken got other friends. It happens. I guess Jessica is going to have to find another sperm donor if she finds herself single and 40. She’s got time.

I don’t even know where to begin with Jessica Simpson. She’s just so dumb. And her style is so… gross. Like, she doesn’t known how to dress for her lovely, petite, curvy figure, she doesn’t know how to put away the boobs, she doesn’t know how to stand or pose or wear clothes that will de-emphasize her shoulders, she doesn’t know how to not dress in curtains from the 1960s. She also thinks it’s cute to match blue nail polish to your blue curtain dress. At least her hair isn’t terrible? I guess. But I don’t even think her hair and makeup look that great here, although I’m glad to see she didn’t actually cop off her hair into that Edie Sedgwick look she was sporting yesterday, although it would have been cute.

Speaking of Jessica and makeup and styling, while talking to journalists on the red carpet of this Good Housekeeping event, Jessica defended her May Marie Claire cover and photo shoot. Jessica claims that sh-t was truly makeup free. Hmm…

Jessica Simpson has a message to those who think she wore concealer or blush on April’s Marie Claire cover: “I absolutely was not wearing makeup,” she told UsMagazine.com Monday at a Good Housekeeping bash in NYC. “Look at the cover — you can tell! My nose has been broken a couple of times. If you look at a retouched cover of me and you look at the Marie Claire cover, you can see there’s a big difference.”

Why no makeup?

“I really wanted to show women that I’m just a normal person,” she said. “I take the pictures. I don’t know what the magazine is going to do with it after that. I don’t know what the photographer is going to do with it after that, so it was important for me to make sure that they absolutely did not retouch. I just wanted people to see how I really am.”

She also told Us she was wearing a wig in those infamous photos she posed on Twitter Monday.

“I was just having fun,” she told Us of wearing a 60s-inspired pixie cut wig.

Though her mother Tina told Us her daughter would never chop off her hair, Jessica told Us: “Never say never! Maybe, but not right now!”

She also filled Us in on her love life, echoing previous remarks that she’d like to date a doctor or a chef.

“I’m just looking for a normal man!” she told Us. “Just somebody that’s normal! That’s it!”

[From Us Weekly]

I don’t know… I didn’t think the Marie-Claire cover was totally makeup free, just mostly makeup free. I suspect there was some powder and lip gloss and some retouching involved. But whatever, it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Oh, and Jessica really, really, really wants to marry Ken Paves and have his babies:

Sometimes I really feel sorry for Ken. I mean, I’m sure he love Jessica and I’m sure they have a great time together as best friends, but at the end of the day, he has to hang out with Jessica Simpson all the time. I can only take her in small doses, so imagine how horrible Ken’s life is?

Jessica in New York on April 12, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Jessica Simpson is attacking her gay boyfriend Ken Paves with her nasty tongue of DOOM. This is an actual photo that Jessica put up on her Twitter. It’s funny how she’s always trying to get Ken to make out with her. And he’s all “no thanks, I know where that sh-t has been.” Speaking of Jessica’s dating past, she’s got a new interview with Fox News Pop Tarts where she’s going a little overboard about what she’s learned about dating and men. Granted, she makes some good points and I can see how some of the stuff she says might be enlightening to a 12-year-old girl, but in general, Jessica is annoying me:

It’s no secret that Jessica Simpson has had more than her fair share of failed romances, including a divorce from Nick Lachey in 2006 and very public break-ups from Tony Romo and John Mayer. But the VH1′s “Price of Beauty” star still believes her Mr. Right is out there – and even has some tips for other ladies who too are lost in the love world.

“It’s important for women not to find their confidence in a man. I think you really have to know who you are before you can truly fall in love and give your all, and I don’t think a man can define you. You have to own that,” Simpson told Pop Tarts in an exclusive interview. “So if you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.”

And while the 29-year-old has managed to conquer the pop world and stay in the spotlight for over 12 years, she is still faced with one of her biggest challenges.

“By ten years I would love to be a mom, I would love just to be in love and be a mom,” Simpson said. “It sounds simple but it’s a lot harder [ than you think.] I’m pretty picky.”

And after hitting the headlines last year for having added a few pounds to her petite frame, Simpson traveled the world to film the reality series “The Price of Beauty” to explore how beauty is defined by a multitude of different cultures and heal herself from the hurt of being subjected to such tabloid fodder.

“I personally needed it for myself after going through all the scrutiny I went through for gaining a couple of pounds. It was really hard on me and I felt I needed to find some light in the very dark place I was in,” Simpson said. “I realized that people’s judgments about me and about my weight are really just none of my business, it’s not something I should be listening to or taking to heart. People can say whatever they want to say and I cannot take it personally. I know it’s the business I am in and I put myself in a position to be criticized, but I’ve found something that will help me deal.”

Simpson says one of the most shocking experiences she endured while filming was visiting a fattening hut in Uganda and seeing women strive to be called “fat cows.”

“The fatter you are the more beautiful. Brides-to-be go into these huts and gain up to 90 pounds. They just drink loads and loads of milk. They gain weight solely off of milk,” she said.

“These women want you to compare them to cows – they literally want to be called a fat cow. I’ve never heard of that in my life, and being able to live that with these women and to see them go through their routines was definitely shocking.”

And speaking of beauty and body parts, what feature does Simpson treasure most about herself?

“I like my nose, that’s my favorite body part,” she said. “I do have a bump, but I like my profile – I don’t think anyone else has my exact same nose, I think it’s unique and a little flawed.”

[From Fox News Pop Tarts]

I believe that Jessica’s goal in life is to get married and have babies. At least, that’s her goal at this point. Maybe at one point she had dreams of being a real actress (like Pinocchio had dreams of being a real boy), but I think even Jessica knows that her “careers” as a singer and actress are done. Now she’s just a “personality” and a clothing designer (which isn’t bad). Oh, she’s also a “farter” but that’s not a career choice. Anyway, I do think Jessica will end up married with a few babies, and we’ll probably hear all about it.

Photo of Jessica and Ken, courtesy of Jess’s Twitter.

This is maybe the funniest photo I’ve ever seen of Jessica Simpson. That’s her gay best friend/hair stylist Ken Paves, by the way. He just wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so he decided to cop a feel of Jessica’s enormous boobs as they were leaving her dad’s birthday party. Sidenote: I love that Paves is big enough part of Jessica’s family that he’s invited to family events, like her dad’s birthday. God knows, Papa Joe probably loves Ken more than Ashlee, the forgotten Simpson. Anyway, as Jessica and her “date” Ken were leaving, I guess Ken was trying to grab Jessica’s arm or help shield her from the photographers or something? Pacific Coast News claims that he “mistakenly grabs her boob” but look at his face. He knows what he’s doing. Cue Jessica and Ken’s marriage of convenience in 3…2…

In case that wasn’t enough, Jessica tweeted a photo of herself in the midst of a facial. She tweeted: “The Price Of Beauty Thanks La Mer for the upper and lower zone radiant mask.” Here’s the Twitpic:

At first glance, I honestly thought that Jessica had draped pieces of bacon across her face, and my first thought was “of course.” But she hadn’t, and now I’m ashamed! But not really.

In other Jessica news, Billy Corgan gave an interview to the Chicago Tribune, and he briefly discussed the Jessica situation, in between discussing his love of wrestling. Regarding that sport, Billy said: “If a wrestler can embody a character, you’ll go along for the ride… Part of my attraction to that world is that I put the same energy into it that I used to put into my music world. It’s not political for me. In the musical world, it got political. I stopped reading all music press and now just read wrestling press.” Uh… so wrestling is now high art, I suppose. Or so unhip, it’s now kitsch and therefore cool.

Regarding the rumored romance between he and Jessica, Billy says: “The stuff that I’ve seen doesn’t have any bearing to the reality that I’m in. It’s like being in a cartoon. It has nothing to do with what’s really going on or how I feel.” He also said that he and Jessica had been in the studio together working on “the theme song for her new TV show… it has an interesting concept. She goes around the world to show how different people perceive beauty. In some cultures, bigger is better. In some, smaller is better. It’s interesting. I ended up writing part of [the theme song]. It has a little bit of an alternative rock edge, but it’s still very pop-y.” PopEater points out that People Magazine claims they’ve been dating for four months, and that Billy, in Jessica’s words, “braids my prayers”. So… my guess is that they’re doing it and Billy doesn’t want to admit it. Poor Jessica.

Jessica and Ken Paves in LA on February 19, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News. Additional photo of Jessica, courtesy of her Twitter.

Jessica Simpson posted a bizarre video to Twitter yesterday that featured her getting one of her ears candled while being videotaped and mildly taunted by her best friend, hairdresser Ken Paves. Ear candling involves sticking a conical wax tube in your ear, available at many health food stores, and lighting it on fire. People claim that the heat and smoke suck the wax out of the ear, but the practice has never been proven effective and can be dangerous. As you can see from the video above, there’s a high chance of the rapidly burning candle falling on a bed or your hair.

You’re supposed to have a friend watching you at all times to trim the candle tip down periodically. You’re also supposed to use a disposable pie tin so that if the tip falls it’s onto a non-flammable surface. A pie tin also offers a little more coverage with sides and a deeper base. Simpson used a pizza box cut in a circle which can probably catch on fire and would just send the burning candle bits off to her neck or the top of her head. It seems to have worked out ok for her or she would have Tweeted that her hair caught on fire. Don’t try this at home, though!

I tried ear candling in college. I used a pie tin underneath as the ear candling package recommended, and my friend Mona was watching me. The burning candle tip still fell on my head and burned out a large chunk of the side of my hair. I was mortified! My hairdresser, also named Ken, was upset by the damage and had to do some creative work to cover it up. I wish my Ken could have been there to make sure the damage never happened in the first place. He wouldn’t have stood by and laughed while my hair was in peril!

At this point, I’m sure everybody has seen these pictures of Jessica Simpson looking half-way or completely in the bag at her hair stylist Ken Paves’ birthday last Wednesday. Jessica was photographed leaving the club with Ken, who looked scared and nervous that so many people were photographing an obviously tanked client/friend. For her part, Jessica looked like she’s a very happy drunk. She tried to smile and blow kisses at the photographers, and seemed like she was feeling no pain. Ken totally shoved her into the back of a car, and my guess is that Jess was praying to the porcelain gods just hours later.

Page Six is now claiming that Jess’s intention wasn’t to get drunk as a skunk that night – she’s just on a hardcore diet, and her tolerance for alcohol is null and void. I kind of think the story would be cooler if Jessica’s people just came out and said “Yeah, she got hammered. It happens. It was a fun party!” But instead, it has to be all about her split:

JESSICA Simpson is dropping weight faster than she realizes. Celebrating her hairstylist Ken Paves’ birthday Wednesday night at Beso in Hollywood, “she didn’t eat much, because she’s been dieting since her split from Tony Romo,” said our source.

So after two drinks, the 5-foot-3 star “got tipsy really fast.” Photos show a bleary, but svelte, Simpson holding onto Paves as they exited.

Simpson’s rep told us, “She was out celebrating Ken’s birthday, and now she’s getting ready to leave the country to film her docu-series for VH1.”

[From Page Six]

I hate the whole idea of going on a “revenge” diet when you break up with someone. It’s as if Jessica thinks Tony dumped her because he didn’t like her body, when I believe the relationship probably lasted as long as it did because the only thing Tony liked was her body.

Meanwhile, Jessica’s message man (her dad) got a night off, and it was Jessica’s mom’s turn to talk to the press about her daughter. Tina Simpson happens to be a lot more forgiving of Tony, and she tells US Weekly that “we all like our exes.” Not really, Tina, but whatever:

Jessica Simpson may have been dumped by Tony Romo, but her family has no hard feelings.

“We like all our exes,” her mom, Tina, told E! News at a Gap event in Hollywood Thursday.

How’s Jessica handling the split, which happened on the eve of her 29th birthday in July?
“Jessica is just a really strong girl,” says Tina. “She has her stuff together. She really does. She’s really solid.”

“I’m very proud of her,” Tina went on, adding that Jessica is currently “awesome…she’s doing very good.”

Tina says she’s been spending the summer with Jessica and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz “working, hanging out by the pool, enjoying the grandson.”

Bronx, 8 months, “is a sweetheart,” Tina says. “He’s so cute. And getting so big…I’m a proud grandmother!”

[From US Weekly]

Poor Ashlee. She never gets the attention. At least, not from her dad. Or the media. But Ashlee and her mom seem pretty tight. To be fair to the Simpson parents, can you imagine having Pete Wentz as a son-in-law? You’d probably keep your distance too.

Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves are shown out a Beso on 8/5/09. Credit: WENN.com and Fame Pictures

Jessica Simpson’s best friend and hairdresser, Ken Paves, had to be taken to the hospital after an accident in which he was hit on the head with a camera in a paparazzi crush. Paves and Simpson were leaving Madeo restaurant when the accident occurred and he was hit above his left eye, causing blood to run down his face.

Some of the photographs of Paves look incredibly dramatic, and show a thick line of blood as if it’s a very serious injury. Others, like the ones we have here, make it look like a relatively superficial wound that just happened to bleed a lot, as face wounds are apt to do. Hopefully he’s ok and won’t suffer any lasting effects from the accident. According to US Weekly, no police report has yet been filed. Online news reports make it sound like a legitimate accident and not like a deliberate attack by a photographer.

What really interests me is Jessica Simpson’s round stomach. I would bet good money that she’s pregnant. Her face still looks thin but her dress is puffing out in just the right place. Her sister is about to have a baby any day now and all she can talk about is how comfortable and happy she is with Tony Romo. I wonder if we’ll soon be regaled with stories about how her farts smell different because she’s expecting. It could just be an unfortunate dress choice, though – like most of her fashion.

Miss USA 2008 Crystle Stewart
I watched most of the Miss USA Pageant and it looked like it went off without a hitch. Donnie and Marie Osmond hosted, and the show was modern and entertaining enough to add some moderate interest to the outdated beauty pageant fare. Controversial divorcee Heather Mills, fierce Project Runway winner Christian Siriano, and celebrity hairstylist Ken Paves were among the judges. They tried to keep it fresh with backstage footage and off the cuff chats with the judges and contestants, and the music and competition segments were good, but there’s only so much you can do to make a beauty pageant entertaining. There weren’t any technical issues or big slip ups by the contestants.

Judge Christian Siriano added some of his trademark flair to the show. During the unprepared question and answer period, a judge was drawn from a hat to ask each of the top 5 contestants a question. Siriano asked Miss Oklahoma which famous person she’d most like to help to better themselves and she predictably answered “Britney Spears.” Siriano smiled wide, and you know that’s the answer he had in mind as he’s said publicly that he wants to help Britney too. This was one of the less articulate answers by a contestant, which makes it more fun to watch:

“As of right now, I’d like to pick Britney Spears. Because I’d really like to help her with her self confidence and help her believe in herself, and get over whatever she’s going through right now so she can strive on going to the next deal.”

The winner was Miss Texas Crystle Stewart, a 26 year-old African American college graduate and entrepreneur who runs a party planning and motivational speaking company. Her answer during the judges questions was the most well spoken:

Question from Judge #9, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman: “In some countries when you turn 18 you’re required to spend a year in the military. Do you think that should be enforced in our country?”

Miss Texas, Crystle Stewart: “I don’t think it should be enforced. I think you’re talking about the draft in our country. I think it should be a choice. We have people there in Iraq right now fighting for our country and it was their choice and I really appreciate that. It should be a choice.”

Here are clips from the show. There wasn’t a talent competition unfortunately. Only Miss America includes the talent competition.

Swimsuit Competition, Finger 11 plays in the background:

Top 10 contestants are picked from a lineup of women in their swimsuits:

Evening gown competition:

Pre-arranged Q&A with the top five contestants:

Judges questions for the top 5 contestants:

Miss Texas is crowned:

And in the brief instance where Heather Mills had a chat with host Donnie Osmond, she managed to remain calm and surprisingly soft spoken: