Britney in a still from her upcoming guest role on “How I Met Your Mother”
Britney Spears was ordered to pay $375,000 to cover her ex Kevin Federline’s exorbitant legal expenses while fighting for custody of their two toddler sons. Federline was asking for half a million, and the judge’s ruling represents $125k less. Federline will receive $175,000 just for showing up at his own birthday party at Pure Nightclub on March 21, so it might be tight for him given his pimp lifestyle but he can probably afford the remaining legal bills. Maybe he’ll ask his attorneys to reign it in, now that he knows he’s responsible for at least part of the bill. Britney reportedly makes $700,000 per month, but up until her father took over she was spending it almost as fast as she made it.

In November, 2007, Britney paid $120,000 to Federline’s lawyers for his last legal bill. He received $20,000 a month in spousal support and $15,000 a month in child support at that time, but his spousal support ran out on November 15. Federline has denied reports that he has asked for more child support after retaining sole custody of the children.

Apart from this expected financial setback, Britney is doing well by most accounts. There’s positive advance buzz for her guest role on the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother,” which will air on March 24. The cast praised Britney’s professionalism on set and said she was funny and personable. Today the network released these two stills of Britney on the show, in which she plays a goofy receptionist with a crush on Josh Radnor’s character, Ted.

Pictures via People and Page Six.

This story nearly made me cry. As Broadway producers struggle to make their productions more relevant (read: profitable), hiring movie stars and B-list celebs to star in theatrical shows has become the big new trend. Monty Python’s Spamalot has used this trick with great effect, with such people as David Hyde Pierce, Sara Ramirez, and more recently, Clay Aiken. But now, I think Broadway is just going too far. Kevin Federline may take a role in the hit musical “Legally Blonde,” a musical version of the hit movie starring Reese Witherspoon.

Curtains for Kevin Federline!

A source says Britney Spears’ ex, 30, may be heading to NYC in September to make his Broadway debut in Legally Blonde, the Tony-nominated musical adaptation of the hit film, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“He’s so excited!” a Federline source tells Us.

The former backup dancer and aspiring hip-hop artist — who is hitting the gym after packing on “daddy weight,” ex Shar Jackson says — will test his song-and-dance chops in a trio of roles — including the UPS guy who inspires the “bend and snap.”

“This is his chance to show the world what he can do,” says a pal.

And now that he has physical custody, sons Sean, 2, and Jayden, 18 months, might join him in the Big Apple.

“This is his dream and he wants to bring the kids,” says the insider. “Jamie and Lynne [Spears] promised to help him make it work.”

(A rep for the show says he is not scheduled “as of this time.”)

Federline may not be the only star hitting Broadway: New mom Nicole Richie has been approached to star in Chicago.

[From Us Weekly]

After seeing K-Fed douche up the small screen on “One Tree Hill,” I really hope this story is somebody’s idea of a sick joke. This guy has no business being on a Broadway stage– except maybe to sweep up after the show is over. As someone who is a self-professed theater geek, this is highly distressing. I’m sure there are hundreds of real, trained professional actors currently waiting tables in NYC who are very upset at this news.

Still, it’s nice that K-Fed is trying to get work that doesn’t involve rapping or beatboxing.

Since she regained limited supervised visitation with her young sons a little over a week ago, Britney Spears has dutifully spent time with them, and could end up being allowed to visit them as often as three times a week. However according to Page Six, both Sean Preston and Jayden James are having a hard time adapting to having her back in their lives, and are suffering some of the traditional emotional ups and downs that one would expect.

Britney Spears’ visits with her kids have been emotional for the whole family. Sean Preston has been sleeping in the same room as father Kevin Federline lately because he’s been having nightmares.

According to insiders, Preston, 2, also cried for his dad at first when Britney picked them up, but Kevin soothed him and he settled down.

“Jamie told Kevin that Britney handled the visit well. She actually did cry, but that was only because Sean cried when she took them from Kevin,” says the insider.

[From Page Six]

The article goes on to say that the boys are confused by their mom and don’t have that feeling of safety that kids needs. This is the main reason that Jamie Spears or a psychologist is required to be there the whole time. Jamie is said to be very good with the boys and they love their grandpa. He has seen them consistently, often visiting them at K-Feds house when Britney couldn’t. The “source” also says that Britney doesn’t really know how to give her sons what they need, and instead views them in terms of what she enjoys, which is dressing them up and showing them off.

Part of the problem is that Britney treats her sons more like dolls than children. “She dresses them for show and tell,” says the insider. “She likes to show them off, but not give them the nurturing they need. I understand she is working on this part of her motherhood with her psychiatrist.”

Other sources tell us that the kids are said to be playing a “pivotal role in her progress.”
“Brit has expressed interest in becoming closer to the boys. Kevin hopes she is talking from her heart.”

[From Page Six]

Britney has supposedly made a deal with her parents that as long as she works hard in therapy and with her sons, she won’t have to go back into the hospital. It sounds like it’s good that they’ve made some sort of agreement so Brit knows exactly what she needs to do to avoid negative consequences. It’s really sad that her sons have to be a part of her “treatment,” and getting her life back together. Obviously it’s probably best for them to have their mother in their lives in the long run, but it sounds like in the short run it’s pretty emotionally trying for them. Let’s hope Britney is not actually pregnant again – despite the rumors and every growing stomach – and that she can just focus on getting her life back together.

In other Britney/Jamie Spears news, today it was reported that Jamie is now allowed to draw $2500 from Britney’s accounts for acting as her conservator. That’s $10,000 a month. He definitely deserves to be paid for all his hard work, but the downside is that now people can question his motivations, whereas before that wasn’t as easy.

An older image of Britney and her boys
After more than a month of no contact, Britney Spears was allowed to spend a few hours with little Sean Preston and Jayden James on Saturday. After much back-and-forth between the lawyers for Spears and K-Fed, a deal was worked out in which the boys could see their mother in her home under the supervision of her psychiatrist and her father/conservator, Jamie Spears.

Britney Spears was reunited with her sons for three hours on Saturday.

After lawyers for Spears and Kevin Federline reached a visitation agreement Friday, the pop star saw her children Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, for the first time since Jan. 3.

The boys left Federline’s Tarzana house Saturday morning – put in their car seats by their father, according to photographers – and were driven by Federline’s bodyguard to Spears’s Studio City home.

A source involved in the case says, “The real hero was [Spears’s father] Jamie. He has taken charge, and she has visitation again.”

Sources confirm to PEOPLE that Jamie and Britney’s psychiatrist were present for the visit.

After a three-hour stay, Spears’s sons left again in the back of Federline’s grey Dodge truck driven by his bodyguard.

[From People]

This just further proves how good it is for Britney to have her father back in her life. Less then three weeks after Papa Spears took over, Britney has access to her children. I doubt this agreement would have happened if Sam Lutfi was still controlling her life. Many sources close to Spears are now saying that it was Sam who encouraged Britney to blow off numerous court appearances, and interfered with her home phone and cell phones when she was supposed to be contacted about taking random drug tests. It was these behaviors that contributed to her losing the kids in the first place.

It was probably a lot easier for the boys to be re-introduced to their mother, after such a long absence, with their grandfather in the room. Both Jamie and Lynne Spears spend a lot of time with the boys at K-Fed’s home, most recently taking care of them while K-Fed attended Fashion Week.

I’m going to keep my opinion on whether Britney really should be allowed to see the kids just yet to myself. For now, this could be a good thing for all concerned, but this is Britney we’re talking about.

Kevin Federline had an acting stint on CW’s teen drama “One Tree Hill” last night in a bit part as a douche musician. I’ve never watched this show, but according to Wikipedia, one of the characters started a record company which signed Federline’s character’s band.

While producers praised Federline’s professionalism on set, it’s pretty clear that he can act about as well as he can rap.

An earlier clip had Federline performing on stage, and if that’s his real voice he’s not half bad.

Update Federline had a bit part on CSI in October, 2006 in which he played the leader of a gang who targeted tourists. He also got punched out on that show.

Apparently Details magazine is really short on available guys who are famous and also fathers. Because they picked Kevin Federline as father of the year. Doesn’t Details have at least half their interviews/photo shoots/whatever else they do - with guys? You’d think there would have to be at least half a dozen men in the bunch who are better dads than K-Fed. Or at least are less of a joke. I’m mostly kidding … but still surprised. Federline is a phenomenal, out of this world parent when compared to Britney Spears. That’s pretty much undeniable. But I don’t know if he’s the best of the best when compared to most other dads. Maybe he is, but he’s certainly got a recent reputation as also being a disinterested douche bag. But we all have pretty short memories, and since Britney went batshit crazy, we don’t really take notice of K-Fed’s wife beater-wearing, pot-smoking ways.

Kevin Federline has been named ‘Dad of the Year.’ The ex-husband of Britney Spears has been praised for stepping up his fathering skills by Details magazine. Federline’s friends insist he always was a great father.

DJ Irie, a pal of Federline’s, said, “He is an all-round great dad. For most guys in Kevin’s situation, home would be the ultimate bachelor pad. But for Kevin, he made it all about the kids. He’s got toys everywhere. You can totally tell it’s all about the kids at home.”

Another friend of the aspiring rapper is enraged that Kevin is only now being recognized as a good father. The insider said, “It makes me furious when people say, ‘Oh great - he’s taking responsibility.’ He’s always been a great father. He’s been there in every way for all of his kids.”

[From AZ Central]

K-Fed probably wouldn’t have gotten half the bad reputation he had if he didn’t walk around with that ridiculous sense of entitlement while bragging about his diamond-encrusted bling. And the rap album definitely didn’t help. There’s been a story floating around for months that Britney Spears has a whole room filled with sex costumes and light bondage paraphernalia. I’m pretty sure K-Fed has a room at least the same size that’s filled with assorted wife beaters.

I won’t necessarily agree with Federline’s friends that he’s always been a good father (though luckily I don’t know the guy, so my opinion is based entirely on press accounts) but I will agree that he’s really stepped up to the plate. And while a lot of people think he’s doing that strictly for money, it seems he must really care about his kids. You don’t see him out and about with the boys, trying to sell pictures for publicity like Britney does. Remember those “private” photos of Brit with Sean and Jayden that she had published in OK!? I have yet to see K-Fed doing anything similar. Compared to Britney, he hardly interacts with the press. And the more a person interacts, the more money they can potentially make off their publicity. So while I’m not going to send over the “World’s Greatest Dad” mug that’s been sitting in my kitchen, I might send over the “You don’t suck” mug that’s in the sink. But I’m not going to clean it first. That’s what K-Fed is for.

Many people – us included – are wondering why Britney Spears keeps getting second chance after second chance with the court system in her custody case. Most legal experts say that Britney isn’t actually getting any special treatment, though I’m sure people with different experiences might disagree. But according to the American legal system, the presumption is generally that children belong with the mother, and that gives Britney a distinct advantage in court.

But legal experts say despite appearances that Spears, 26, is being given second and third chances, she’s not receiving any special treatment. They say the reason why the legal process is dragging out before the public’s eyes is because it is very difficult to prove that Britney’s relationship with her children is doing more damage than good.

“What you are seeing in California is, in part, the failure of a forensic expert — like a psychologist or psychiatrist — to come forward with substantial evidence that proves it’s best to disrupt the lives of these children,” said Mario Joseph, partner at Joseph and Smargiassi, a New York law firm specializing in matrimonial and family law.

[From Fox News]

I feel like we could probably find a good 30 dozen mental health professionals who would love to say Britney is eight kinds of crazy (yes I’m keeping count). I’m surprised there hasn’t been a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation. I understand that Britney is unlikely to see a professional of her own volition, but it really seems like she has the potential to harm her children. I think it’d be more inadvertent – like she’d be too distracted with doing fake accents and making manic, joker-ish smiles – and one of the kids would fall into the fireplace or something. I doubt she’d throw a kid into the fireplace. But she’s clearly not all there.

Joseph also told FOXNews.com that mothers — non-celebrities included — generally receive the benefit of the doubt. “The reality is that there’s a far higher standard for a father, because there is an age-old presumption that the mother is the more fit parent for an infant or toddler.”

“If it [Britney wants to get custody back] means spending more time with play dates and less time with the likes of Paris Hilton, that’s what she should be doing,” Joseph said. “She needs to appear as if she’s putting the interest of her children before her own.”

The problem is that it’s been difficult for the courts to establish a sense of immediate threat or danger. And that’s prevented any long-term measure, Joseph said. “Dangling a child off a balcony [like Michael Jackson did in November 2002] is clearly an emergent matter,” he explained. “And any reasonably competent parent would understand that driving with a child in the front seat [like Britney did] is not in the best interest of that child. But absent of additional evidence, courts don’t want to change the status quo.”

[From Fox News]

The essential point here is that Britney Spears would actually have to be much crazier than she is - or at least more often – to lose complete custody. She’s not physically endangering her sons. But one can’t help but wonder how she could NOT be endangering their mental health, especially as they get older and are more aware of the impropriety of her behavior. One of a parent’s many jobs is to embarrass the living daylights out of their kids. But there’s a difference between telling a stupid story and walking around without a shirt on.

In the UK, there’s a group called Fathers 4 Justice which maintains that fathers have an equal responsibility and right to parent their children, and as such they should be given equal favor in the custody process. I understand that mothers do of course have their own “special bond” with their kids, but diligent fathers can make the same claim, if to a different kind of “special bond.” It seems incredibly unfair that Britney’s kids should have to live with her lunacy because of a presumption that her role is more important that Kevin Federline’s. Clearly there’s a ton of issues working against what’s best for the kids. Britney is the biggest one.

If society didn’t have Kevin Federline to teach us the difference between right and wrong, I’m not sure we’d make it. The man who for so long personified douchbaggery now seems like father of the year, at least when held up next to Britney Spears. But so does that ficus tree in the living room when held up next to Britney Spears. It’s hard to tell how much Kevin Federline has changed. Is he actually a good dad now, or is Britney just so crazy that he seems like a good dad? Are his motivations really his sons, or the money attached to them? If Britney went bankrupt, would K-Fed still be fighting for Sean Preston and Jayden James? It’s hard to say, and it’s not possible to get inside of his head. But for the most part, Federline certainly seems to be saying the right things at the right time. Or at least his hired hands are.

Kevin Federline’s lawyer says Monday’s court decision to keep Britney Spears from visiting her children is a difficult decision with a clear impact on all of the family members. Mark Vincent Kaplan called the court order barring Spears from visiting her children indefinitely “painful, but appropriate.” Especially affected will be the boys Jayden, 1, and Preston, 2.

“Kevin’s not indifferent to how difficult it has to be on their mother (Spears) and on the kids,” Kaplan told PEOPLE. “It’s a sad situation. There’s no victorious feeling. Kevin wants nothing more than to be able to parent his children with participation by their mother,” says Kaplan. “But the best interest of the children require that they be in the most sound, safe, nurturing and consistent environment. That is paramount.” He adds, “[Kevin] is committed to trying to fill any void by him being there at all times for them in any way. He can’t replace their mother in their life but he is going to try to minimize the hardship.”

[From People]

You could make a lot of arguments that it’s all due to Kevin’s great legal team. But Britney has good lawyers too, the difference is that Kevin will actually drag his butt out of bed and go to court, whereas Britney will lounge around, show up hours late, and then never actually enter the courtroom, choosing to go to the gas station and drink an orange soda instead. So you could pretty much make the argument that Federline’s a better parent based on that alone.

But it also seems K-Fed is shopping a tell-all book around. That makes one questions his motivations all over again, as dishing out a lot of dirty secrets about the mother of half his children doesn’t seem in their best interests.

Kevin Federline is penning a tell-all about his hellish marriage to Britney Spears. Kevin is in chats to sell his story for $10 million, spilling his ex-wife’s lesbian desires and suspected Multiple Personality Disorder in the process. “He’s been writing things down for a long time about his tempestuous time with Britney. He’ll earn a fortune with this.” Publishing experts believe Kev could pull more than the anticipated $10 million bonanza if he plays his cards right. “A book like that would be really hot. There would definitely be a bidding war,” publisher Ron Turner reveals to Star Magazine. “When all is said and done, with advance serialization and international rights and movie rights he could get $10m, if not more.”

[From Popcrunch]

Most of the dirty details are rumors we’ve already heard before; though one would assume he’d give specifics. Things like them having unprotected sex on their first date, Britney spending most of her time drunk and high, dressing up in dirty costumes (I think there was some gossip floating around for a long time that she had an entire locked room filled with sex costumes), and that she was always begging Federline for a threesome. And of course that K-Fed wasn’t into it, and was worried Brit was more into girls that guys. And then there’s the requisite sex tape rumors. Back when those first hit the internet, I didn’t think there was any truth to them. Someone famous like Britney Spears must be smart enough to know that somehow, they’d get out. That was before everyone knew Brit was batshit crazy. Now I’m sure that room filled with sex costumes is actually a room filled with Britney’s own sex tapes.

If K-Fed does actually write a tell-all, I admit I’d read it. I still questions the guy’s intentions, but the curiosity factor is just too high. With so many crazy rumors floating around about Britney – and so many turning out to be true – I’d find it interesting to hear about it from someone close to her – even if you have to take every word with a grain of salt.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header of K-Fed on “One Tree Hill” last night. Hey at least he’s earning his own money for once. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Well Britney came and went but never actually showed up. The fallen pop star wasn’t absolutely required to show up to her custody hearing today, but it was strongly encouraged. Meaning that if she gave a damn about her kids, she’d be there. The hearing had both a morning and afternoon session, and Britney completely missed the morning. However she managed to get herself out of bed and to the courthouse for the afternoon session, only to leave without even entering the courtroom. Britney got out of her car, walked a few steps, then got back inside, claiming to be scared by the ever-present paparazzi. The photographers were no different than any other day. Apparently they’re not scary when she wants to haul ass to Rite Aid, but are damn near terrifying when she has to fight for her kids.

In a bizarre and chaotic scene outside the courthouse, Spears arrived for the afternoon session of the proceedings – but abruptly left the courthouse after paparazzi surrounded her.

“I’m scared. I want to get in the car. I’m going in the car,” she said after stepping out of the car as photographers crowded around her.

Spears, 26, then got back in the car. Police tried to coax her out, but she slammed her back against the seat and shouted, “No!” Spears’s car eventually drove off, and she didn’t make it to the afternoon session of the hearing. She had also missed the morning session, staying at home.

[From People]

Britney then went to eat lunch at Gaucho Grill instead. The paparazzi didn’t seem to scare her that much, as she managed to stop by a church and go inside for a few minutes. I can only imagine what Britney Spears is praying for. But it makes me think of that African proverb: When you pray, move your feet. Meaning don’t just sit on your ass and expect your kids to materialize in the living room. You’ve got to do the things that make it happen. Like walk into the courthouse.

The judge ruled that Britney still can’t see her kids – at least until the next hearing on February 19th. Though something tells me she won’t get her visitation back then either.

Britney Spears still may not visit her children, a court commissioner ruled Monday, following a custody hearing the pop singer missed.

Kevin Federline, who attended the session, maintains sole legal and physical custody of their two sons Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, “indefinitely,” a court spokesman says.

[From People]

According to TMZ, the commissioner made his ruling after the testimony of Lisa Hacker, Britney’s parenting coach; Lonnie Jones, K-Fed’s bodyguard who was at the home to pick up the kids, Pamela Strong, the court monitor who was at the home during the standoff, and two police officers who responded during the ordeal.

If I were the betting sort, I’d bet that Britney’s kids won’t spend the night in her home for at least a year. She clearly doesn’t care enough to be bothered with them. Which is why I can’t understand why in the world she’s fighting for any type of custody. Probably because she views them as her possessions – a common problem of people with narcissistic personality disorder. This is my totally biased, un-expert opinion, but I think she thinks of her kids not as separate, individual people but as one of her many possessions, and she has the right to do with them as she pleases. I don’t think it’ll really hit her until she loses custody permanently that she can’t do whatever she wants and have everything – including kids – her way. It is very clear that Britney doesn’t give a damn about her kids’ well-being. She’s only fighting for what she thinks she deserves. And hopefully that’s exactly what she’ll get.

Picture note by Jaybird: Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, on their way to lunch instead of court today. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline were at the same parties two nights in a row this weekend in Las Vegas, and different reports have them together one night, and Paris striking out with K-Fed the next.

The divorced dad-of-four dissed Paris Hilton during a December 30 party at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas. The celebutante, who was hosting the pre-New Year’s Eve celebration, shimmied up to Kevin in a sequined dress and made her move — only to be rejected by the newly single stay-at-home playboy.

“Paris whispered some pretty sweet and enticing words in Kevin’s ear,” a Federline family insider told PageSix.com. “She basically asked him where he was staying and if he wanted to visit her in her own suite.” According to the source, Kevin passed, but he said, “It will not be so easy to deny her next time.”

[From PageSix]

People reports that Paris and K-Fed were at parties together both Saturday and Sunday night and say that they “hung out in Hilton’s room Saturday after leaving the club.” That’s People Magazine’s code for drunken sex.

So Page Six says that Paris tried to get K-Fed to go back to her room on Sunday, but was denied. Maybe you can assume that K-Fed got some of that Saturday night but decided to pass on seconds.

There are photos of Paris all over a “mystery guy” on Sunday as well as looking friendly with Brody Jenner Saturday night, so who knows what was really going on between her and K-Fed. The mystery guy thing wasn’t much, though, as a video of Paris singing while she hangs over him shows.

If K-Fed denied Paris’ second attempt, it’s probably because he doesn’t want the publicity. He was married to Britney and his most recent girlfriend starred in a sex tape with Colin Farrel so if Paris isn’t good enough for him that’s really saying something.

Meanwhile TMZ reports that K-Fed cleared out the club when he started rapping, and if you watch the video it does appear to be true. People start leaving in droves once Federline picks up the mic.

Thanks to Splash News and WENN for these photos.