Britney predictably went out partying Tuesday night until the wee hours, stumbling to her car visibly drunk. This is just after learning that she needed to stop drinking if she wanted to keep her kids. She had several options to make sure that the entire world didn’t learn that she’s unable and/or unwilling to take the judge’s orders seriously.

Britney could have:
1. Stayed home and tried to tough it out, dealing with the DTs and sweating and hallucinating, if she’s that far gone already. Surely whatever withdrawal she would suffer is less than the heartbreak of losing her children.
2. Stayed home and got wasted there. At least it wouldn’t be public knowledge.
3. Gone out to a non-hotspot where only the paparazzi who follow her would have documented her drunkenness.

Instead, Britney went out to hotspots Hyde and Winstons, where photographers wait for celebrity sightings all night. Her behavior was a definite “fuck you” to the court system, and to anyone who dare ask her to behave like the mother of two small children. She wants her childhood back, and she doesn’t want to have any responsibilities whatsoever. It looks like two of them are about to be taken off her hands.

There’s also a recent quote from an “insider” who says that Britney has serious eating issues, and regularly throws up, starves herself, and binges. This might be just a made up story based on known information about Britney. She supposedly talked in group therapy in rehab about how she’s been bulimic for years, and her assistant, Alli, is quoted as saying she starved herself for three days before the VMAs.

The “friend” tells OK! Magazine that Britney also called her fat and disgusting, a clear case of projection. I’m not saying Britney’s fat, she’s normal, she just clearly has issues over it and is said to have bawled that she looked like a fat pig after seeing herself moping around on stage:

As the judge in her custody battle with ex-hubby Kevin Federline orders Britney Spears to undergo testing for drug and alcohol use, OK! can report that friends of the beleaguered pop star are worried sick that her starve-and-bing relationship with food may be pushing her even deeper into despair.

“Britney told me, ‘I’ll starve myself because I’m fat,’” one friend of the singer reveals to OK!. “She kept telling me she thought I was fat and disgusting.”

[From OK Magazine]

If only Britney would hire someone who would help her exercise and cook her meals like Jessica Simpson did, she would be able to lose weight without yo-yoing and torturing herself, but that would involve admitting she needs help and taking advice. We know all too well that she is woefully incapable of either.

It’s remarkable to watch Britney fuck up so consistently. It seems to be the only thing she’s capable of lately, and just about any story about her seems believable. That’s why I was so quick to believe that she put a hit out on K-Fed. (The LAPD said they investigated a threat on K-Fed’s life after it was turned over to them by the FBI, but that it was not credible and the investigations are now closed.)

Britney still has some options to keep her children if she can put aside her sense of entitlement at being a train wreck. She can’t leave LA to sober up, because if she wants to keep her children she has to commit about 14 hours a week to various meetings with parenting coaches and individual and joint therapy with K-Fed. Despite behavior indicating she’s not ready to lift a finger, she still can chose to clean up, get sober, and keep her children. It’s possible even if she stays put. Since someone else is telling her to do that, it’s doubtful she’ll even put a modicum of work into obeying court orders. She did get glasses for cosmetic reasons, though. Maybe that means she wants people to start taking her seriously.

The most likely outcome of this situation is that we’ll see Britney lose her children and continue to make a public spectacle of herself. And that’s just sad and predictable.

It might be better for her kids if they only see her occasionally, though. US Weekly reports that it takes days for them to recover after their visits with her.

Thanks to Splash News for the header photo.

The court papers in Britney Spears’ custody hearing are available online, and they’re placing some pretty stringent requirements on her. Both Britney and K-Fed are given strict guidelines they must meet, with Britney required to undergo random bi-weekly drug testing, go to individual therapy, and work with a parenting coach. Both K-Fed and Britney must go to join counseling and take a parenting class. It sounds like the judge is concerned for the welfare of the children and takes the allegations made against Britney seriously.

Contrary to earlier reports, Britney will not lose custody of her boys even temporarily, and the 50/50 custody arrangement will continue, with these stipulations.

Britney’s requirements:

• Britney has to go to individual counseling once a week to “address parenting issues.” She must enroll in ten days.
• Britney must meet with a parenting coach for at least eight hours a week, at least twice a week. The parenting coach will observe Britney with her boys and make recommendations. The coach must submit a written report to the lawyers by October 22 and appear in the court on November 26.
• Britney has to undergo drug and alcohol testing twice a week at random times. The explanation of the reason was harsh and said “Based on the Evidence presented, the Court finds that there is habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by the petitioner [Britney]” Britney will have to pay for the drug tests herself.
• The judge also makes stipulations for how the test results are to be delivered to the court and is conscious of the media circus surrounding Britney. They say that the drug test results must be filed hard copy and not faxed. They will also be sealed and not released unless there is a court order. To avoid the inevitable leaking of results the state that “unauthorized distribution…. is punishable by civil sanctions of up to $2,5000.” That’s nothing. An underpaid civil servant can probably get $10k at least from a tabloid for that.

K-Fed and Britney’s joint requirements

• They both have to take co-parenting counseling together and split the costs. Their lawyers are supposed to help them reach an agreement as to a therapist.
• Neither Britney or K-Fed is supposed to drink or do drugs at all either 12 hours before or during the times they have custody of the children.
• Both Britney and K-Fed must complete the “Parenting Without Conflict” program. They don’t have to do it at the same time, and must show the court within 5 days that they have enrolled in that or something equivalent. They also have the option of going into a private program, and providing the court with proof as an alternative to that program.
• They can’t make “derogatory remarks” about each other or about each other’s families or significant others in front of the children.
• They’re not supposed to take the children out of state without prior written consent from the other parent or the court. If they take the boys out of California with permission, the have to provide the flight numbers and the addresses and telephone numbers of where they will be staying to the other parent.
• They have to notify the other if they move or if they change any of the nannies. All nannies must be certified by the Red Cross in Infant and Child CPR and first aid. If their current nannies are not certified, they must take classes.
• Both must file income and expense declarations. I think K-Fed is being asked to submit his lawyer’s fees, as he must file a “Keech” declaration.

Do you think Britney will meet even half of the requirements?
Here’s the breakdown of all of Britney’s weekly responsibilities under these court orders and how much time it will take:
- 1 hour of individual counseling
- 8 hours with a parenting coach in two separate sessions
- Two sessions of drug testing. (About 1/2 hour if you consider transit, maybe more)
- 1 hour of co-parenting counseling with K-Fed
- 3 hours a week for six weeks in the Parenting without Conflict program [From PDF brochure on LA Superior Court Website]

Total weekly time commitment from Britney: 14 hours

The girl was four hours late to a rehearsal for the most important performance of her life, and wanted to cancel it ten minutes before she went on. Asking Britney to start showing up and participating like this is like trying to train someone who can’t get out of bed to do a triathalon. It’s possible, but it’s not going to happen overnight.

Britney will also have to abstain from drinking or doing drugs 1/2 of the time when the kids are with her. K-Fed gets a pass, though, which hardly seems fair.

We’ll see how motivated Britney is to keep her children now. I would walk on hot coals daily for my son, but I think Britney would just ask her people to do it for her and then fire them when they got blisters.

Update: Thanks to commentor Kolby for reminding me of the “No Corporal Punishment” requirement in the court documents. It stated that “Each party is restrained from using corporal punishment with the minor children and from allowing anyone else to do so,” which people are interpreting as meaning there was an allegation that the boys were being spanked. That’s terrible.

All details from PDF court file available on TMZ.com

Picture note: Britney is shown in the header image looking depressed yesterday. She got new glasses, went to her old house to pick up her stroller and car or something, and then stopped for gas, which a paparazzo pumped for her because there were too many photographers around and she was scared to do it. Thanks to Splash News for the photo.

The “Secret Witness” said to be barred by the judge from testifying in Britney’s custody case is going to get his say in in court after all. K-Fed’s high-powered celebrity lawyer (who does not represent K-Fed - thanks commentor “none” for clearing that up), Gloria Allred, has arranged for the witness, said to be a man close to Britney who is credible, to submit a statement to the judge about Britney’s fitness as a mom in a closed hearing. The witness might testify under cross examination if Britney’s camp requests it.

The witness should appear in court with Allred this morning at 8:30 a.m. PST. Fox News says that the witness’s statement is so damning, it could result in Britney immediately losing custody of her children!

And the witness will be there with Allred at 8:30 a.m. I am told that the witness could blow Spears’ chances of keeping little Sean Preston and Jayden James. The likely observations from the witness concern drug usage by Spears in her home and in front of her kids.

Spears can simply forget reports that were spun to other Web sites that Gordon wouldn’t allow Allred in, or simply rejected the testimony of the unnamed witness. Allred told me Saturday when I reached her by phone that Gordon accepted the declaration and even praised her work.

That’s not good news for Spears, who just had a disaster on the MTV Video Awards and is also trying to complete an album due in stores on Nov. 13. Last week, photos of her without underwear were widely disseminated on the Internet. Federline’s attorney is sure to mention that in court on Monday as well.

Allred, who is often embroiled in very public cases, means business here by the way. She’s kept the witness’ identity a “secret” so as not to start a publicity war. But when the declaration was filed on Friday, Spears and her attorney Laura Wasser would have learned his name. I am assured the person in question is not a drug dealer, and that his credentials will hold up if examined in court.

“You may recognize him as we walk into court,” Allred told me. “But maybe not. He is not famous. He’s just someone who’s concerned about the kids.”

[FoxNews via WeSmirch]

There have got to be some bombshell allegations if it’s possible the Britney will lose custody immediately. I wonder what the burden of proof is in that instance and if the judge is just going to take this guy’s word. There’s a lot of money and the happiness and lives of these little children is at stake. It would be a shame to make a decision like this without solid evidence and a thorough consideration of both sides.

There was a story this weekend that Britney wanted to offer K-Fed a multi-million dollar deal to make sure that she retained custody of her children. He must have thought his chances were better in court if they’re going to call the surprise witness, whose identity has been kept a secret to avoid needless media reports and speculation like we’re doing here.

Both K-Fed and Britney have agreed to keep all the court details private, so it might not be likely that we learn exactly what allegations are lodged against Britney in the declaration by the unknown witness.

There may be another reason why K-Fed is so aggressively going after his kids - his $20k a month alimony payments are set to run out in just two months. Britney’s monthly payments were supposed to continue until K-Fed remarried or died (and given his penchant for cash you know the guy would have rather died first unless he could land another super rich sucker of a wife) but due to their pre-nup K-Fed is about to get cut off.

Given Britney’s record of parenting, though, it doesn’t seem like K-Fed has much to worry about. I was feeling sorry for her when it was first rumored that she might lose her boys a few weeks ago. After the VMA debacle I kind of think she needs something like this to get her ass in gear and realize that she can’t do whatever the hell she wants and have life go on as usual. K-Fed isn’t an exemplary parent, but he does get help from Britney’s mom and dad while she’s effectively cut them out of her life.

If Britney indeed loses custody, she’ll probably still get to see her boys, just on different and more limited terms. I’m a mom and know I would be devastated if I lost custody of my son. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve gone out past 11:00 since he was born three years ago, though. Britney is young still, but she never seemed to take her role as a mother seriously. She’s just drifting through life and doesn’t seem to take much of anything seriously lately.

Pictures are older ones of Britney at home with Jayden James and Sean Preston from July.

You’ll have to excuse two Britney stories so close together, but this is too good to pass up. I mean pooooooooooooooor Britney Spears. Britney’s lawyer, Laura Wasser, was stopped on her way out of a hearing regarding Spears’ and Federline’s custody arrangement. She said that Britney “‘just wants to be a mom. I believe this is a frustrating time for her.’” True story. I know lawyers are supposed to put their clients in the best light possible, but saying something like that - which so totally contradict months of behavior - kind of sets her client up to be mocked.

“Britney Spears ‘just wants to be a mom,’ her lawyer, Laura Wasser, said Friday – adding, ‘I believe this is a frustrating time for her.’ Wasser spoke to reporters outside the courtroom after another hearing in the custody fight between Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline. TMZ.com and CelebTV cited court documents signed Friday saying Spears will continue to pay Federline $20,000 in spousal support, but it’s unclear how long that deal will remain in effect.

“Wasser did not confirm any details about what was discussed. Asked if this is a frustrating time for Spears because of the negative reactions to her appearance last Sunday at the MTV Video Music Awards, Wasser said, ‘Yes. I think she just wants to be a mom, and both of her kids’ birthdays are this week, and I think she would’ve liked to celebrate with them without having to worry about the entire nation – the entire world – being concerned about what’s going on with her personally and her custody battle with Mr. Federline.’

“Wasser, when asked to address a story that Spears tried to offer Federline a settlement, which he was resistant to accept, replied, ‘I don’t believe that’s true. They met and are trying to work it out so they don’t have to have a judge make determinations for them regarding their kids. I don’t know that he was resistant or she was resistant. They are both trying to work to come up with something together.’”

[From People]

I get that this is a hard time for Britney Spears, but she’s bringing most of it on herself, so it’s hard to feel badly for her. The article mentions that Britney and Kevin have a 50/50 custody split, but it sure doesn’t seem like Britney’s with her kids that much. It would be really sad if she had that arrangement to be fair to herself or vindictive towards K-Fed, but left her kids with nannies and babysitters during her time with them. If it’s so important to Britney to be a mom, why isn’t she doing that? And even more importantly, why isn’t she trying to be a good mom? This situation makes me so sad for her kids. Though they’ll have money and advantages from that, that won’t equal out for having a nutcase for a parent (or parents). When I was a teenager I babysat for a 22 year old who had her son at 15, and she treated him in a negligent way that often makes me think of Britney. It was never enough to take her kids away, but it was complete disinterest and an inability to take care of those boring, routine things you have to do for kids day in and day out. Something tells me that, no matter who gets primary custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James, Britney and Kevin will be in court constantly over the next 18 years.

Picture note by JayBird: Pictures of Britney and Kevin during happier times y’all.

I’m sorry for the plethora of Britney/K-Fed stories today. It’s a slow gossip day, but you can always count on these two as the mainstays of internet/tabloid gossip. Anyway, it really doesn’t make sense that we’re seeing and hearing so much about Britney Spears’ crazy escapades and no one is pointing out all of K-Fed’s sordid past anymore. Seems the public has a very short memory [and I include myself, I haven’t been good about mentioning all of his partying, drug-using, douche-bagging ways]. So while I’m not at all on Team Britney, I think it’s only fair that K- hold himself to a decent standard in terms of personal behavior, and it’s good she’s hired a private investigator to get the dirt on K-Fed. Considering he’s using Israeli commandos, it’s safe to say he’s got a few PIs on Britney too.

“Britney Spears has reportedly hired a hotshot California private investigator to monitor her ex-husband as the couple begins its child custody battle.

“As Kevin Federline’s legal team builds its case by serving Spears’ friends and her aides with subpoenas to testify in the custody trial, Spears has commissioned Lisa Javoric to dig up dirt on her ex.

“Investigators from Javoric’s offices recently hit Las Vegas to watch Federline’s every move - as the rapper/dancer partied.

“In Touch Weekly reports, ‘The detective watched him intently as Kevin partied in public areas of the hotel. He made a note of everyone who went into his suite.’

“Spears hopes the information her investigator gathers will help her discredit Federline and win her full custody of sons Sean Preston and Jayden James.”

[From Starpulse]

K-Fed needs to be able to stand up to the same scrutiny he’s putting Britney under. It’s so hard to write about these two, because they both have such sketchy behavior. K-Fed’s was well documented in the past, and Britney’s is well documented in the present. But I don’t think he’s suddenly become a model citizen – he’s just become much less flamboyant and much more private. Which at least shows he has more common sense than Britney. But when you think back to all the terrible, jerkish stuff that was written about Federline, it really is sad to realize that he’s likely still a jerk, just a more private one, and all of this stuff about wanting what’s best for their kids could really just be about money for both of them.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Britney out shopping on Wednesday - sorry for the old images, Brit hasn’t done much lately. Header image of K-Fed partying at Tao last week.

Apparently Britney Spears wayward behavior is starting to catch up with her in a much bigger way than possibly losing custody of her kids – though that’s big enough. Britney is currently under active investigation for child abuse by the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family services. That’s hardcore. Britney has done a lot of stupid things publicly, which can only make a person wonder what she does behind the privacy of closed doors. Not only is she stupid, but on her best day she’s a negligent parent, and she’s got a hugely ridiculously sense of entitlement. MSNBC actually broke into their newscast at 2:30 EST to announce the investigation. They’re citing some of the unsubstantiated rumors about Britney trying to whiten her kids teeth with Crest white strips, giving them caffeine, leaving them in soiled diapers until someone else come to change them, and keeping the boys up late so that they’ll sleep late and won’t wake her in the morning.

“TMZ has learned Britney Spears is being investigated for possible child abuse.

“An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Present — Britney’s lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan and a lawyer from the Los Angeles County Counsel who is assigned to the dependency court.

“We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.

“A hearing in the custody case has been scheduled for September 4, which will be a follow up to today’s appearance.

“A rep for Britney did not immediately return our request for comment.”

[From TMZ.com]

I would imagine that the charges are fairly serious if they warranted an unscheduled hearing. Courts are packed and don’t have time to fritter away unless there’s some possible merit to the accusations. One would hope the Spears isn’t actually abusive, though she certainly seems unfit. Either way, I hope her kids end up in a better environment. I understand people’s feelings that that would be horribly traumatic for her, and I’m sure it would be, probably indescribably so. But what matters more than Britney’s feeling of trauma is the welfare of her kids. Some of her past mistakes were stupid, but probably mistakes. But she seems to be in a whole other crazy place these days, and her kids shouldn’t have to be victims of that, especially at such formative years. Check back here - we’ll keep updating if any news comes in about the result of the trial.

Update: MSNBC is reporting that the allegations that triggered the court hearing are that Spears has given/is giving alcohol to sons Sean Preston and Jayden James. These allegations go hand in hand with accusations that Spears keeps the boys up late - she is said to give them alcohol in their drinks so that they’ll be quiet and sleepy. MSNBC had a legal analyst (whose name I didn’t get) who said that the white strips and the caffeine won’t hold any legal weight, at least in terms of abuse (though it might in terms of custody) but that giving babies alcohol is obviously “a pretty serious charge.” My mom did something similar to keep my sister and me quiet and calm - no she didn’t give us alcohol in our bottles (she wasn’t that nice a mom) instead we weren’t allowed caffeine or sugar. Maybe instead of giving the kids coffee and soda in their bottles and all the sugary crap she feeds them, and then adding alcohol to make them sleepy, Britney could just not do any of those things, and the kids would be fine.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, after their last court appearance on August 14th.. Header image of Britney enjoying a mojito on August 9th. Images thanks to WENN.

The wrath of K-Fed continues: Britney’s former assistant, Shannon Funk, has been served by Federline’s Israeli commando. I’m pretty sure K-Fed keeps commandos on retainer now. I’m also pretty sure the wrath of K-Fed is more the publicity seeking of his lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. Funk was served as she got off a Jet Blue flight from New York City this late last night. I’m going to assume that she was actually served as she exited the airport – though the way most of the other articles are writing it, you’d think commandos were lined up on the tarmac or something.

“The legally embattled singer’s most recently excused assistant, Shannon Funk, was the latest member of the entourage to be served with a subpoena by Kevin Federline’s legal team, requiring her to testify about Spears’ parenting skills in the couple’s ongoing custody case.

“The 21-year-old Funk, who served as Spears assistant for just under a month, before getting the ax in the wake of a disastrous cover shoot with OK! magazine, was served with the legal papers Tuesday by Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, just after touching down at Southern California’s Long Beach Airport.

“Funk had just returned from a short stay in New York City, where she was snapped by paparazzi enjoying a girls’ night out with, ironically enough, senior members of the OK! magazine staff.”

[From E! News]

Funk signed a confidentiality agreement when she was hired by Britney, but several websites are saying she’s the “anonymous source” that’s been giving out so much information about Spears lately. Then there’s that issue with her being photographed having a girls night out in New York… with senior staffers from OK Magazine. There’s a lot of speculating that they paid for her trip to NYC.

I’m not sure that Shannon Funk wil be a very reliable witness. She only spent a month with Britney before she was fired, and by most accounts that’s not because Britney fires too easily; Funk was a disaster from start to finish. She’s widely blamed for the OK Magazine debacle (you know, the one with the dog pooping on the expensive dress – she was the one who used the dress to wipe up the dog’s poop). That might have just been spin to take the heat off Britney, since she had similar “meltdowns” several times in the following weeks. Who knows, I’m just saying Shannon Funk’s deposition might present a problem, in that she seems like she’d be an unreliable witness.

Apparently there’s another round of subpoenas being issued by Mark Vincent Kaplan. That guy really wants to make sure he goes after everyone who’s ever seen, talked to, or smelled Britney Spears. Next up, K-Fed will be serving Britney’s goldfish. I heard all she ever feeds it is junk food – those prepackaged multicolored flakes. And his water? Not purified, despite what Britney’s team will tell you.

Picture note by JayBird: Header image is Shannon with Britney before she was fired. Image thanks to WENN.

The Britney crazy tour continues. Word is her family has indeed cut off her credit cards in an attempt to save her from herself, a strategy which has obviously been ineffective so far. She left that high end rehab after a day and was trailed by the drooling paparazzi, who caught her going to a lawyer’s office and then trying in vain to gain access to K-Fed’s house, but he was either not home or ignoring her.

The lawyer Britney visited once represented Reese Witherspoon in her suit against a paparazzo that harassed her children, although it is unknown why Britney was there (The photographer Reese was suing incidentally ended up dead.)

K-Fed is looking like a super fit parent compared to Britney, and has supposedly been caring for their children. He’s said to be saddened by Britney’s antics and the fact that she’s ignoring her kids. He called his mom on Valentine’s day to come out and help him watch the children. Britney’s mom, K-Fed and his mom are all taking care of Britney’s kids while she has her public breakdown.

Meanwhile a former nanny of Britney’s has revealed that she was looking for a friend more than a childcare expert and that she didn’t seem to care if she had experience watching children.

K-Fed is having an emergency custody hearing today, and the news of that hearing may have been what led Britney to head over to his house and ring the bell in vain. She got all worked up at the paparazzi at the time and yelled and hit their car with an umbrella.

There’s also a story that Britney tried to kill herself twice before shaving her head. Incidentally there are four different stories about why she shaved her head: she was raped, she didn’t want K-Fed to be able to drug test her hair, she had lice, and/or her hair was falling out from frequent dye jobs and extensions.

Britney wants the world to witness her pain, and indeed we are, but she’s only hurting herself by picking her wounds and begging us all to watch. It’s uncomfortable for everyone and she needs to get away and recover. She has all the resources in the world at her disposal but she can’t figure out what to do besides hop around her old haunts and have everyone watch. At least her family is taking care of her children and they’re too young to understand what’s going on.

Here’s Britney caring for her new dog and clutching what may be the last credit card she could find. Thanks to FlynetOnline for these pictures.

Lindsay Lohan resolves to wear thong underwear to all funerals.

Britney Spears plans to make sure her children are properly secured in car seats before she drives under the influence.

Nicole Richie resolves to poop after she eats.

Paris Hilton resolves to quit being such a homebody and get out of the house more.

Angelina Jolie, in an effort to be taken seriously as an actress and humanitarian, plans to play the role of the princess in the new Mario Bros movie.

Madonna resolves to get more publicity for something she’ll figure out later.

Tom Cruise vows to quit exercising so hard and let himself go a little.

Matthew McConaughey vows to exercise shirtless outdoors at least once a week.

Christina Aguilera plans to be a bit more glamorous.

Victoria Beckham wants to lose those pesky last three pounds.

Jennifer Aniston plans to do a lot more cathartic yoga.

Nicole Kidman vows not to be the subject of any country songs.

Jessica Simpson vows to take some time off and relax.

Eva Longoria plans to speak her mind, or whatever comes to mind at the time.

Anna Nicole resolves to get blotto every day.

K-Fed resolves to get as much cash as possible in the divorce settlement and still come off as the good guy.

George Clooney vows to play the field in memory of his departed pig.

Thanks to my brother Mike for help with this list, some of which is humor, some obvious.

Britney’s new boyfriend, J.R. Rotem, may be an accomplished music producer, but he sure looks like as much of a douche as K-Fed, and he seems to have an inflated sense of his own importance. He lunched at The Ivy and tried to get into Hyde nightclub, the hottest spot in town, but was predictably turned away. All of this comes after he was photographed kissing Britney. Do you think he did it because he genuinely likes her?

Two nights after cameras spotted music producer “J.R.” Rotem locking lips with the Britster at The Grove, her rumored rebound guy tried to use his newfound star power to get into Hollywood hotspot, Hyde. Sadly for him, but amusing for us, Rotem got denied.

Moments after his reality check, Rotem took the loser walk down to another nightclub, where they welcomed the Gotti look-a-like with open arms.

K-Fed has cleaned up his look and seems to be laying low, or maybe no one in interested in him anymore and it just looks like he’s calming down. One of his “friends” told Star magazine that K-Fed has “gone GQ” and is going to fight for custody of his children.

There also is speculation that Kevin is threatening Britney with a tell-all book if she doesn’t give him a decent settlement in the divorce.