Khloe Kardashian’s jail stint sure changed her. Dramatically. She sounds like a much better, more self-aware, considerate, deeper person for the 173 minutes she spent behind bars. Turns out the reason Khloe got out so quickly was because she was deemed a threat to the other prisoners. No, not because of her face, though I can see where you’d get that.

As soon as she arrived, bomb threats were called into Lynwood Correctional Facility, and the warden deemed it was because of Khloe. And Khloe, being the deep, introspective person that she is, views it as a blessing.

… As for the punishment, Kardashian said she was originally expected to be taken to the downtown Twin Towers correction facility, “one of the dirtiest, toughest jails in L.A.,” but said that come Friday morning, “there were some complications, and I actually could not go down there. It’s a blessing in disguise. That’s my dad being one of my angels.”

The socialite also confirmed that she was instead transferred to Lynwood come her morning surrender and immediately placed in solitary confinement for safety reasons.

“As soon as I got to Lynwood, there were three bomb threats…The warden came down to talk to me, and he was saying, ‘You’re the one causing all the problems here.’ And I’m like, ‘Ugh, I don’t need any more problems.’ And he’s like, ‘There’s all these bomb threats, and we’re thinking it’s for you.’

“But because of all these things, it’s a blessing, and I was actually released early because I was a threat to the prison.”

[From E! News]

I can just see Kim and Kourtney on their cell phones at the coffee shop across the street from the jail, calling in threats and waiting with the car motor running. I love how Khloe plays off bomb threats like it’s just this absolute and total coincidence. The moment she steps into jail, a bunch of people threaten to blow the place up.

Poor Khloe, she’s right, she doesn’t need any more problems. What with all the terrible things that have happened to her, like drinking, driving, getting caught for it, and refusing to do community service which resulted in her getting thrown into jail. Why do bad things always happen to such good people?

Only someone as stupid and self-centered as Khloe Kardashian could call a bomb threat a blessing. Because it got her out of jail early.

Here’s Khloe with her family at the “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” season two launch at Les Deux in Hollywood on March 19th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Khloe Kardashian. Just the name makes me want to sucker punch someone in the face. Yeah, I’m that kind of girl. Or at least I’m in that kind of mood. I understand that Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe’s mom Kim likes Ks. Great. Awesome for you. But she managed to give Kim a normal K name, instead of finding some dumbass way to spell an otherwise good C name. Is it any wonder Kim is the only “successful” Kardashian daughter? Khloe’s racking in the DUI’s, Kourtney is… well I don’t know what the hell she’s doing, but that’s my point. I blame this whole debacle on their mom.

Because her name sucks, Khloe sucks, so Khloe got a DUI. She was ordered to serve 30 days in jail [People originally erroneously reported that it was 3 days – which we repeated here], which of course in Los Angeles translates to several minutes. Khloe was in and out in under three hours – not exactly record time, but you could see how they wouldn’t be as worried about her as they were with someone like Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan.

With the jails too full of more serious offenders to find room for her, Khloe Kardashian served less than three hours of her 30-day sentence on Friday in a DUI case. Kardashian, 24, who appears on E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians, was processed into the Lynwood, Calif., jail for women at 10:36 a.m. and released at 1:29 p.m., according to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department.

The department, which runs the city’s jails, has an early-release policy for nonviolent offenders due to overcrowding. Kim Kardashian’s younger sister was sent there after she surrendered to the Van Nuys courthouse and was booked at 8:52 a.m. The Lynwood jail is the same facility that housed Paris Hilton for most of her term in an alcohol-related driving case.

Kardashian served her brief time for violating probation following a DUI arrest. Kardashian was arrested for DUI in March 2007, and was sentenced to three years probation. On July 3, she was sentenced to 30 days in jail after failing to complete roadside cleanup duty and enroll in an alcohol education class.

[From People]

I understand that DUIs are generally considered nonviolent crimes. I can see why women sentenced for them don’t put in as much time as murderers. But I think it sends a really bad message. Khloe Kardashian knew that she could do something she didn’t want to do – roadside cleanup duty – or she could go to jail for three hours. It makes sense she chose jail instead of doing her time properly.

Starlets know they won’t have to pay any real consequences. Part of her sentence was to do something she didn’t like – and do it for a while. Probably in the sun. Photographers would probably show up. It would be embarrassing. Why should someone as grand as Khloe Kardashian stoop to that level? Going to jail was much easier and more dignified for her. Of course we’d be talking about a whole different story if she knew she had to serve 30 entire days. Then we’d have some great pics of Khloe dragging a bag around a freeway.

Considering her choices, I no longer feel badly calling Khloe the behemoth monstrosity that she is.

Here’s Khloe outside the Villa Lounge in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.

It’s got to suck being the sister of Kim Kardashian. You can argue all day about whether her assets are real, but she’s definitely beautiful, at least in a Hollywood sort of way. And depending on your views, her sister Kourtney is even hotter. And then there is Khloe. It’s hard to say if she’s actually unattractive, or just seems that way compared to her more genetically blessed older sisters.

Last fall Khloe got a DUI – which was dramatically reenacted on the family’s reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and framed in a way to make it look like it all happened because Khloe, 24, was having trouble dealing with the anniversary of her father’s death. Now Khloe has to report to jail by this Friday – where she must put in an astounding three days time.

Khloe Kardashian, the youngest of the Kardashian sisters, has been sentenced to three days in Los Angeles County jail for violating probation following a DUI arrest.

“She admitted to failing to complete [roadside cleanup duty] and enroll in an alcohol education class,” said L.A. City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan on Monday. “Khloe is ready and willing to serve out her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved,” her rep tells PEOPLE.

Over the weekend, Kardashian showed no obvious signs of worry about her upcoming jail term, as she attended a party at the Project Beach House in Malibu with her mother and sister Kourtney. “Khloe actually looked great, really relaxed and having a good time,” says a partygoer at Sunday’s Lia Sophia Clambake. “[She] didn’t look like she had a care in the world and even got a massage.”

[From People]

It’s shit like that – massages, not having a “care in the world” – that makes people hate celebrities. Though using that word to describe Khloe Kardashian isn’t exactly accurate. The “partygoer” says it as though it’s a GOOD thing. Thank God Khloe isn’t being burdened with stress or guilt or any feeling of responsibility for getting a DUI! That would be the real crime.

Something tells me Khloe will do just fine in jail. She has one of those faces that says she could beat the shit out of someone if she had to.

Here’s Khloe Kardashian arriving at Platinum Motors in West Hollywood with her brother and his girlfriend to pick up her customized Range Rover on June 30th. Because that’s what someone with a DUI needs. A new car. Header of Khloe celebrating her birthday at Pure nightclub in Vegas on June 27th. Image below of the Kardashian sisters during a taping of The View on 6/25/08. Images thanks to WENN.

Since the news came out that singer Brandy’s mother, Sonja Norwood, has sued Kim Kardashian and her three siblings for stealing her credit card, I have been truly curious to learn the back-story behind this debacle. Kim apparently was Brandy’s stylist in 2004. I had no idea that Kim Kardashian ever had a job, besides supposedly giving or receiving golden showers (yes I forget the specifics of that rumor and am too afraid too look it up). But Kim did do something professional in her life besides going to parties and showing the world her ass cleavage. But I guess she didn’t do it that well - or at least that ethically - because she stole Sonja Norwood’s credit card, loaned it to her three siblings, and the group managed to run up over $120,000 in debt in 2005 - 2006.

“I did not want to commence litigation against the Kardashian family without conducting an exhaustive investigation into the charges and discussing all options, including criminal prosecution, with my family,” Norwood said in a statement Tuesday.

“After Ray J and Brandy urged me not to file criminal charges because of their prior friendship, I decided to afford the Kardashians an opportunity to resolve this matter without a lawsuit,” Norwood said. “When the fraudulent charges were brought to their attention, they apologized profusely, and advised us, through their attorneys, that they would pay the debt in full. However, they have since reneged on that promise.”

Norwood also said in her statement that her “investigation has revealed that the Kardashians used their two stores [Dash and Smooch] and other stores that I have never visited to take advantage of me. I very much look forward to having the Kardashians account for their misconduct in a court of law.”

[From In Touch]

Sonja Norwood’s statement clears up a few issues, but there are a lot of questions remaining. First off, the card was supposedly given to Kim when she worked for the Norwoods in 2004. Yet the charges occurred several years later. Did Sonja Norwood never get the card back, or did Kim steal the number? Secondly, how did the Kardashians sign for these purchases? Were they actually forging Sonja’s signature, or was Kim an authorized signer on the account? No matter what, how did the other three Kardashians use the card? Why did it take Sonja Norwood so long to notice and/or do anything about the fraudulent charges?

What I’m most eager to hear is the Kardashians’ defense. They have obviously denied any wrongdoing, and Kim has said she has documentation for all the purchases. It seems pretty unusual that Brandy’s mother would have Kim Kardashian - who is no longer her employee - use her credit card. It also seems odd that Norwood would randomly choose to sue the Kardashians if they hadn’t done anything wrong. Although considering their father is the late famed O.J. Simpson defense lawyer Robert Kardashian, I’m sure they’ll be able to come up with some sort of entertaining - if not plausible - defense.

Picture Note by JayBird: Header of Kim Kardashian, joined by her ass. Here are the Kardashian sisters (left to right) Kourtney, Kim and Khloe at Kim’s 27th birthday at JET Nightclub in Las Vegas on October 26th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Kim Kardashian has never really done anything that’s made me say, “Wow, that girl’s good with money.” She’s done a lot of things that have made me say, “Wow, that girl’s got an ass that should be on her chest,” but that’s about it. And apparently Kim’s ass cleavage is the biggest thing she’s got going for her, because not only is the girl bad with money, but she’s criminally bad. And when you combine bad fiduciary judgment with a ridiculous love of shopping and access to someone else’s credit card, things can get out of hand. Not for a regular person, but apparently for a Kardashian. In 2004, Kim was singer Brandy’s stylist. Brandy’s mother Sonja Norwood, who is also her daughter’s manager, gave Kim her American Express card to make one purchase for Brandy. Although it remains unclear, somehow Kim kept the card and continued to make personal purchases on it - totaling over $120,000. Not only that, but she lent the card to her two sisters and brothers. They even wracked up purchases at the Kardashian family’s own stores!

R&B singer Brandy Norwood’s mother filed a lawsuit Monday against Kim Kardashian accusing her of running up more than $120,000 in credit card charges without permission.

The suit, which also names Kardashian’s siblings Khloe, Kourtney and Robert Jr., alleges they ran up the charges on the mother’s card in 2006 and 2007. It seeks the return of the money plus 10 percent interest.

Kim Kardashian denied the allegations, telling PEOPLE she and her siblings had Norwood’s permission to make the purchases.

“We have her signature on all items,” Kardashian says.

[From People]

I’m sure she does have signatures for all items. Pretty much all credit card companies require you to sign a receipt. But I’m also pretty sure those signatures aren’t really Sonja Norwood’s, or she wouldn’t be suing the Kardashians I’m assuming that Sonja Norwood didn’t keep close tabs on her credit card statements - and if the debt accrued slowly enough, I suppose it’s possible a wealthy enough person might not notice. Considering Kim hasn’t worked as Brandy’s stylist in several years, I can’t imagine any excuse she could give for using the Norwood’s credit card. It’s a little surprising that no one noticed, but I would imagine they probably figured it out a while ago and made other attempts to get their money back before going for a lawsuit.

Kim wasn’t just Brandy’s stylist - she was also Brandy’s brother Ray-J’s girlfriend. You’ll remember that the two had a very infamous sex tape that Ray-J sold (some say Kim was in on the deal too, though she denies it). Maybe Kim thought she was due an extended shopping spree on the Norwood’s dime. The Kardashians are famous due to their deceased father, O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian. Considering their legal linerage, I’m surprised they haven’t paid up. I doubt they have a leg to stand on - and if nothing else, it makes an already tacky family look that much worse.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here are the lovely Kardashian sisters (left to right) Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe - at New Years Eve at Mansion. Images thanks to PR Photos.