Kim Kardashian is in Miami right now – these are photos of Kim out and about with her BFF Jonathan Cheban yesterday. I don’t really think she’s showing yet, do you? Her boobs look bigger and her butt… well, her butt is always going to be big. Hopefully she’ll stop wearing crazy heels at some point during this pregnancy, but I fully expect her style to get even worse, if that’s possible. Maternity leather jodhpurs? WHY NOT?

While Kim is in Miami, she and Kanye are still taking care of many of the pressing issues concerning their baby-to-be and their relationship situation. TMZ says that while marriage isn’t currently on the table (Kim is still married to Kris Humphries, and Kanye doesn’t want to propose to Kim until she’s divorced, because he’s classy!), they are planning on living together. Together in an $11 million mansion.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West aren’t committed in matrimony … but they ARE committed in 11 million (and one) other ways — TMZ has learned the duo just bought an $11 MILLION MANSION!

Sources close to K & K tell TMZ … the future parents are now the proud owners of a 10,000-square-foot pad in an über-private, gated community in Bel Air, CA.

Kim and Kanye have owned the house for a few weeks … and they’ve already gutted it and are designing a 14,000-square-foot dream home in its place.

The new home will be an Italian-style villa … with a gym, movie theater, full hair and makeup salon, bowling alley, basketball court, indoor and outdoor pool … oh and probably a baby nursery. Just a hunch.

Not included … a wedding date. We’re told there are no plans.

FUN FACT: Kim & Kanye’s new neighbors will include Jennifer Aniston, Chris Paul, and Joe Francis.

[From TMZ]

Hahaha, Kimye have moved into the same neighborhood as Joe Francis and Jennifer Aniston. You never know with Aniston’s properties, though – she might be leaving the neighborhood very quickly, because she and Justin seem to be on some kind of weird real estate binge of buying, selling, renting and renovating. God knows. As for Kimye’s mansion… sure. It sounds pretty standard for people who have that kind of money to throw around.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

I’m already getting an ulcer from all of the preemptive shade you guys are going to throw at Kim Kardashian for this outfit. So let me just say… I would wear this. Judge away!! Yes, palazzo pants/wide-leg trousers are not for everyone, but doesn’t she look comfortable? I’d rather see her in this kind of outfit as opposed to some bizarre fishnet gown or leather jodhpurs or something. Anyway, these are new pics of Kim arriving in Miami. I’m not sure why she’s there or anything.

Some of you have tried to make some kind of conspiracy about Kim’s baby bump or lack thereof. Let’s be clear: I’m always down for a celebrity conspiracy theory, but let’s give it some time. Kim is not going Full Beyonce and claiming that a pasta gut is a third-trimester baby bump. Kim is allegedly three months pregnant, her boobs look bigger to me, and she seems to have gained some weight overall. Let’s give it a few months, and if she’s still the same size, then I’ll join you in some conspiratorial haven where no celebrity woman (besides Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner, apparently) actually gets pregnant.

Meanwhile, preparations have already begun for the pimping of the newest Kardashian. But TMZ reports that Kim and Kanye are hesitant about selling their baby photos!

PREPARE TO BE SHOCKED … unlike other celebs, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West turned down a chance to rake in some serious coin off their unborn child … rejecting a $3 million tabloid offer for the baby’s first pics.

Sources close to K&K tell TMZ … the couple has been flooded with lucrative deals from magazines clamoring to score baby Kimye’s coveted first photos, with offers ranging as high as several million. We’re told the $3 million offer was from an overseas tabloid.

So far, no cigar. Our sources say the couple has no plans to sell the pics to ANYONE … right now.

We’re told they’re aware public demand will only increase over time — and still might consider offers in the future.

It’s a pretty surprising move nonetheless, considering it’s become S.O.P. in Hollywood to cash in post-baby-birth …

– Brad & Angelina: $4.1 million for Shiloh in 2006. $14 million for their twins in 2008.
– J.Lo & Marc Anthony: $6 million for their twins.
– Matthew McConaughey: $3 million for his son.
– Christina Aguilera: $1.5 million for her baby.
– Jessica Alba: $1.5 million … the list goes on.

As TMZ first reported … Kim and Kanye also nixed the idea of their baby guest starring on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” — except while he/she is in Kim’s belly.

[From TMZ]

Well, if they don’t sell the baby photos, that’s fine. It’s not like it would be “proof” that they aren’t famewhores or anything. But I think they’ll totally sell the baby photos, they’re just waiting until Kim is further along, and magazines can better gauge the interest in seeing the first photos of their baby. And I’ll admit it – I wouldn’t mind seeing Kim and Kanye’s baby on the cover of People Magazine or Us Weekly. But that stuff has never bothered me in general.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

I have a for real question for all of you hardcore ladies who work out like bosses all the time: is there some underwear rule that I’ve never heard of? I’ve been on a self-imposed workout schedule (four times a week!) for two years now, and I never go to the gym without my drawers. I’ve never given a crap about visible panty lines or anything, and I don’t care if I look “cute” while working out, so my workout panties tend to be full-coverage, new-generation granny panties. But every time I see Kim Kardashian in her gym clothes, leaving or entering the gym, I’m almost certain that she’s never wearing drawers. Is this a Kim-specific thing, or is there some no-panty gym rule I’ve never heard of? Go here to see the slightly NSFW photo of Kim’s visible ass in her workout leggings. Why is going commando a “thing” at the gym?!

Anyway, as you can see, these are new pics of Kim at her LA gym yesterday. She’s still working out while pregnant, which various experts say is absolutely fine – I believe pregnant women are recommended to avoid higher-impact workouts, but some light weightlifting, walking, biking and prenatal yoga is fine. But here’s another for real question: have any doctors weighed in (so to speak) on Fraudster Tracy Anderson’s crazy workout schemes for pregnant and postpartum women? Because that’s what Kim is doing now!

Tracy Anderson is keeping me in shape! She is helping me make the adjustments necessary to keep me feeling happy, healthy and most importantly create a workout plan that is safe for the baby. It’s really important for me to have a fitness routine that works for my body and my schedule and I’m really happy with the workout plan Tracy is working with me on. Xo

[From Kim’s Celebuzz blog]

It seems somewhat fitting that Kim and Tracy Anderson are now joined at the hip. From a celebrity angle… Tracy is in business with Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth is Beyonce’s BFF. Beyonce is married to Jay-Z, who is Kanye West’s BFF. Kanye is Kim’s baby-daddy. Six Degrees of Tracy Anderson’s Fraud. Of course, Tracy is also the person who snidely slams her own clients, saying: “A lot of women use pregnancy as an excuse to let their bodies go, and that’s the worst thing… I’ve seen so many women who come to me right after (having children) with disaster bodies that have gone through hell, or they come to me years later and say, ‘Oh, my body is like this because I had three kids.’” So, she treats her clients like crap too, and I can only imagine that this collaboration with Kim will be short lived. Just wait until Kim really starts showing.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I’ve noticed something weird about Kim Kardashian post-pregnancy announcement. The paparazzi seem to be going out of their way to respectfully shoot her from the front. Which is sad, because I really want to see that pregnant ass. Is that mean? I didn’t mean it in a mean way. I just want to see if her ass gets crazy big, or if it stays the same size. I think Kim is worried about it too – she’s been pap’d going into the gym A LOT lately. Anyway, it seems that other people are thinking about the size of Kim’s ass, and how it will probably expand. TMZ spoke to reps at Jenny Craig and Medifast to see if Kim would be in the running for a post-baby weight loss endorsement deal. Long story short, no one wants to deal with that ass.

Two major weight loss companies won’t touch Kim Kardashian’s “big fat ass” with a 10-foot pole … TMZ has learned they have zero interest in signing the pregnant celeb to a Jessica Simpson type deal.

Reps for Jenny Craig and Medifast tell TMZ they won’t be be helping Kim K shed her post-baby weight — and their reason, ironically enough, is the reality TV star isn’t real enough.

Medifast said its not looking for any celeb endorsements — but Jenny Craig was more specific, telling us they’re … focusing on “real results for real women” this year.

Interestingly, JC’s rep added, “We will continue our working relationship with Mariah Carey.”

Of course we don’t know if Kim’s even looking for a new weight loss deal … she endorsed Quick Trim last year.

But who knew? Mariah’s ass: way realer than Kim’s.

[From TMZ]

I wonder if anyone has spoken to Weight Watchers? I imagine all of the WW people are still on suicide watch after the Jessica Simpson debacle – and I still say that people probably got fired over that at WW. No, my guess is that Kim will probably stick with her QuickTrim endorsement after she gives birth – she’s been associated with those weight loss pills for years, hasn’t she?

In other Kim K. news, Radar reports that Kim is telling friends that Kris Humphries is “ruining her life.”

Pregnant reality TV star Kim Kardashian is venting to close friends that her estranged husband, Kris Humphries, is ruining her life because he is “hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings” and claims if not for the delay, she’d already be married to her baby daddy, Kanye West, by now, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Kim is seeing red because she is still legally married to Kris Humphries. Kim is overjoyed at the news that she is pregnant with Kanye’s baby, but she isn’t able to fully embrace it because of Kris. Kim feels that Kris is hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“Kim knows that she most likely will still be married to Kris when she gives birth to Kanye’s baby, and that absolutely sickens her. Kim has been pressuring her attorney, Laura Wasser, to get Humphries to sign off on the divorce, to no avail. Kris is holding the position that if Kim grants him an annulment on the grounds that the marriage was a sham, this whole thing ends. However, Kim won’t give in to his demands because it would damage her brand,” the insider added.

On Friday, February 15 – the day after Valentine’s Day – Kim and Kris’ divorce lawyers will be in court setting a date for the trial. The earliest the trial can be scheduled would be the middle of June to accommodate Kris’ basketball schedule. His team the Nets is now in second place in its division, and the play-offs don’t end until June. Kim, who’s 12 weeks pregnant, is due at the end of June.

[From Radar]

Wait, what? “Kris is holding the position that if Kim grants him an annulment on the grounds that the marriage was a sham, this whole thing ends. However, Kim won’t give in to his demands because it would damage her brand.” It was my understanding of the situation that Kim wouldn’t give into an annulment because that would effectively end the terms of Kim’s pre-nup, and Kris would be able to get more money from her and from the Kardashian-Jenner family. I keep hearing that the hold-up is still about money, not Kim’s “brand”. I think she would sell out her brand if it meant she got to hold on to $5-10 million, but Kris is going after her money.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Before we dive into what I’m sure will be a months-long cat-faced drama involving a crazy number of posts devoted to Kim Kardashian’s bump, let’s just take a moment and talk about process. First of all, I don’t have any problem with covering Kim. I don’t feel like the coverage is “beneath me” or anything – I’m a gossip blogger, and Kim K. and Kanye are good gossip. Kim has never really offended me on a deeply personal level (although she often annoys me, and I think she’s a vapid a—hole), probably because I take her for what she is: celebrity fluff. Unimportant, talentless fluff. Here’s the bottom line: if you don’t want to talk about Kim, that’s fine. We’re still covering tons of other stories for you to gossip about. But please don’t come onto these Kardashian threads and bitch about the coverage. I’m fine with covering this stuff, and if the stories annoy you, click on something else!

So, with that in mind, let’s discuss the past 24 hours in Kardashian-Kanye-Bump Dramz. Some stories kicking around:

*TMZ says that sales of Kim and Ray J’s sex tape are going through the roof once again. The last time sales spiked this much was probably when Kim married Kris Humphries and the wedding news dominated every outlet, and people were like, “Huh, I should check out Kim’s sex tape.” Vivid Entertainment says that since Sunday night (when Kanye went public with his “baby mama” comments), sales of Kim and Ray J’s sex tape have increased 80%. You know Kim still gets residuals from the tape, right? Although she doesn’t want to admit it publicly, she’s still getting money every time someone downloads the video.

*Mixed messages about Kim’s health during her first trimester – while Kim was partying with ‘Ye in Vegas on NYE, she told media outlets that she hasn’t had any morning sickness so far. She said, “I have felt good. I haven’t had any morning sickness, but it still isn’t the easiest… People always say it’s easy and fun. It’s definitely an adjustment learning about your body and stuff like that. I’ve been feeling really good so that’s good.” So, she isn’t pukey but…? Maybe she’s sleeping a lot. I hear that happens.

*Kim says that she plans to find out the sex of the baby soon enough – “Of course I do want to know. I can’t find out yet, but I do want to know.” I kind of hope she has a girl. Even though I think she’s going to be a terrible mother, I think she’ll enjoy having a daughter more than a son.

*Us Weekly sources say that Kanye is truly going to propose to Kim, and he’s just waiting for her divorce to be finalized. A source says, “He’s told friends and family he was gonna [marry] her since the day they met.”

*But the Kris Humphries divorce is going to take a while, y’all. Radar reports that Kim is probably still going to be married to Kris when she gives birth to Kanye’s baby. A source says, “Unless Kim Kardashian gives in to Kris’ demand that she admit the marriage fraudulent, the divorce proceedings will still be ongoing and she will still be legally married to him when she gives birth.” Radar says that Kim and Kris’s lawyers will meet on Feb 15 to set a date for the trial, and the earliest date for the trial will be mid-June to accommodate Kris’s basketball schedule.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at 1 Oak Nightclub at The Mirage in Las Vegas last night. Kim was paid $300,000 to party there for NYE. I mean… I guess she was the official hostess or something. Did Kanye get paid too, or did he just show up for free to support his baby mama? I have to admit – that was probably the best $300,000 spent for The Mirage. They probably just paid Kim, and they got bonus Kanye and because Kim just announced her pregnancy, that means this is the first post-official-bump red carpet photos of Kimye so EVERY SITE will run these. Money well spent, that’s all I’m saying.

As for Kim and Kanye’s baby and all of that… well, there are 20 million new stories about them and the conception and what will happen once Kim gives birth, etc. Here are some highlights:

*TMZ did the math and they figure that Kim got knocked up during her trip (with Kanye) to Rome, Italy. Kanye took her to Rome for her 32nd birthday, and they spent several days sightseeing, checking out the Colosseum, the Sistine Chapel, and Vatican City. Meaning The Holy See might have had something to do with this?!

*Page Six’s sources say that Kanye probably won’t want to sell the baby photos but Kim will want to. A source says, “Like Jay-Z and Beyoncé did with their little Blue Ivy [they put the pics on Tumblr], Kanye will want to post the pictures his way, probably publicly through Twitter — which will no doubt put him at odds with matriarch Kris Jenner, who’ll want to make a deal with the highest bidder.”

*But! TMZ’s sources say that Kim has already been telling people that she doesn’t want their kid to be a reality star… yet! They “don’t want their baby dragged into the family biz” and they want to “ensure real privacy” for the baby. HAHAHAHA. Yeah, we’ll see. Kris Jenner won’t be happy about that. Kris Jenner shall sell this baby to the highest bidder!! Kim is also claiming that she doesn’t want a spinoff show with Kanye, nor will she want a “birth special”

*So, what’s Kanye up to? Is he excited about the baby? Sources claim he’s just thrilled. A source tells Hollywood Life, “He’s known this for some time now. You don’t even know how f**king excited this [guy] is about being a father… I don’t know if I should say this, but [Kanye] was crying when Kim told him she was knocked up… I heard he got on his knees in front of Kim, she rubbed his head while he was crying and he was kissing her stomach. Guess he was overwhelmed at that point and couldn’t believe he’s about to be a father.” Okay, that actually got me a little bit. It made me think about how much he must miss his mom. #kanyetears

*And here’s the real money shot (so to speak!): sources say that Kanye is definitely going to marry that ass once that ass finally divorces Kris Humphries. A source tells Hollywood Life, “Kim has been trying for a baby for a few months. She got off birth control and it was a decision she and Kanye both made. They wanted to get married before starting a family but the divorce changed everything because it’s taken so long to finalize. Kanye and Kim will definitely get married after the divorce is settled with Kris.”

Prepare yourselves! It’s going to be MONTHS full of this baby drama and divorce drama (from Kris and Kim) and then wedding drama. Kim got her hooks into a big fish (ha!) and she’s not going to let go any time soon.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Judy Eddy/WENN.com.

Kim Kardashian is pregnant!! Didn’t I tell you this was going to happen? Damn, I love it when my predictions come true! As soon as that story came out about Kanye’s management team telling him that Kim was bad for his business, that’s when I knew Kim’s best play was pregnancy. I mean, she can’t marry him… yet. She’s STILL married to Kris Humphries. So her best play was pregnancy, and some of the tabloids even got on board, claiming that Kim’s penchant for unflattering clothes was PROOF that Kim was already knocked up. Would you like to see my prediction? This is what I wrote on Dec. 21st:

I think Kim might talk a good game about “wanting a baby” but really, she couldn’t care less. Babies are as disposable to her as fluffy white kittens, which is to say they can both be handed off to someone else once all of the photo-ops are over. But I could see Kim making the noble sacrifice of getting knocked up if it meant that Kanye would stick around for another few years. Don’t you see how the timing is perfect?

HA!! I love it when I’m right. Anyway, here’s the confirmation:

Kim Kardashian has something to look forward to in 2013: the birth of her first child! The E! reality star is three months pregnant with boyfriend Kanye West’s child, Us Weekly has confirmed. The musician announced their baby news while performing at Revel in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Dec. 30. The “Heard Em’ Say” rapper told the crowd to “stop the music and make noise for my baby mama,” referring to his girlfriend, who was in the audience.

This will be the first child for both Kim, 32, and West, 35, who began dating in the spring of 2012. They two had been friends for several years, though both were in relationships at the time. (Kim is still married to NBA player Kris Humphries; she filed for divorce in October 2011.)

Shortly after West shared the news with fans Dec. 30, Kim’s family members expressed their happiness via Twitter. “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can! Another angel to welcome to our family,” tweeted Kourtney Kardashian, mom to son Mason and daughter Penelope (with partner Scott Disick). “Overwhelmed with excitement!”

Tweeted Khloe Kardashian-Odom, “Keeping secrets is hard with so many family members! Especially when you are so freaking excited! Love is everything!” The X Factor co-host’s husband, Lamar Odom, added, “I’m excited for Kanye and my sister! There’s nothing like bringing life into this world! Let’s keep God’s blessings coming!”

Kim spoke candidly about her desire to have West’s children during a September appearance on The View. “At the space that I am in life now, kids are definitely something I want,” she said. “I think I wanted that before. I think I fell in love so quickly and wanted that to be my life so badly but I just didn’t take the time to find someone.”

[From Us Weekly]

So, what does this mean longterm? Well, Kanye will stick around for a while longer. He’s going to stick around until the baby is born. He’s probably even going to marry that ass once that ass is divorced from Kris Humphries. Beyond that… I actually think Kanye might be in for a rude awakening once he discovers that Kim’s maternal instincts only go as far as a photo-op. And I can’t imagine that Kanye will be down with selling every part of this pregnancy and baby too… but we’ll see. Maybe Kim really IS Kanye’s Beyonce after all.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

These are some photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West from before Christmas that I just never got around to publishing. I was thinking about doing a “Kanye’s Very Kardashian Kristmas” thing, but… eh. For what it’s worth, Kanye and Kim did spend Christmas together from what I can see. They were in California, and Kimye even went to that Lakers game on Christmas day (the same one with Chris Brown and Rihanna). So, Kim and Kanye are still tight. They are still together, even though it’s hurting his career. But here’s a new twist – is Kanye hurting Kim’s “career” too? Star Mag says… maybe. Kim has been quietly trying to gauge the interest in a possible Kanye-Kim nuptials-sale, and no one is biting.

Kim Kardashian made a mint off of her first wedding, but an insider says the reality princess was shocked to discover that no one wants to buy in if she marries Kanye West. Kim still isn’t divorced from Kris Humphries, but she’s been quietly shopping around a potential wedding to Kanye.

Her August 2011 nuptials to Kris in Montecito, CA should have cost $6 to $10 million, experts say, but Kim parlayed her fame to get deep discounts, and the E! network paid $15 million to air that wedding. Then they split after just 72 days.

“That seemed so fake,” a source in the know says. “No one will believe it’s real this time.”

And this time, E! didn’t even make an offer.

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

I’m sure this is good news for those of you who hate all things Kardashian, but put on your Logic Cap for a moment. How in the world would a Kim-Kanye wedding NOT sell? I don’t care if Kim’s last wedding was a total fraud (or if it was just stupid but not fraudulent). A Kim-Kanye wedding would totally sell. The real problem isn’t that it wouldn’t sell, it’s that Kim might not want to sell it this time. For real.

Quick note: if this much of your bust is exposed while working out, you are a distraction to other gym goers AND it’s probably not good for your back or tatas.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

In addition to this ^^ being my new favorite photo of Kim Kardashian, it seems this pic is now “PROOF!” of Kim’s new pregnancy, at least according to the Enquirer. Now, the Enquirer (and other tabloids) have run “Kim is preggo with Kanye’s baby” stories before, but I just enjoyed this one so much more for a handful of reasons. One, the evidence is Kim’s “size 4” gut spilling out of a too-tight leather monstrosity of a skirt. Two, Kim is totally prepared for a baby now that she killed her poor little 4-month-old kitten. Three, Kanye is being told by his management team that Kim’s ass is bad for business. So why NOT lock this thing up with a baby?!

Kim Kardashian got the gift of a lifetime – she’s pregnant, say sources. Kim was photographed shopping in Miami on Dec. 12 in a tight skirt with a bare midriff that exposed her bulging tummy – and now friends say Kim is in the early stages of her surprise pregnancy.

“Despite all of her talk about exercising harder and eating healthier, it’s obvious that Kim has gained at least 10 pounds in the past few weeks, and it all seems to be around her midsection,” divulged a close friend. “Plus, she’s given up alcohol completely. And she confessed to pals that she and Kanye are shopping for a family-friendly home in LA together. When a close friend asked Kim point-blank in mid-December if she was pregnant, she slyly responded, ‘That would be the best Christmas present ever!’”

Kim and Kanye fell in love with parenthood after giving it a test run by hanging around and taking care of Kourtney’s two children, Mason and Penelope, according to the source, who added: “Kim made it clear a few months ago that she was opting to undergo fertility treatments, and now they appear to have been successful.”

But Kim apparently plans to keep the baby news under wraps until she’s out of her first trimester.

“Kim and Kanye are overjoyed, as is Kim’s family… she’s wanted to be a mom for years – and now that wish is finally coming true.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

I think Kim might talk a good game about “wanting a baby” but really, she couldn’t care less. Babies are as disposable to her as fluffy white kittens, which is to say they can both be handed off to someone else once all of the photo-ops are over. But I could see Kim making the noble sacrifice of getting knocked up if it meant that Kanye would stick around for another few years. Don’t you see how the timing is perfect?

Some photos of Kim’s clip-in bangs earlier this week. Hate ‘em.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Ah, it doesn’t feel like Christmas until the Kardashian-Jenner Kristmas Kard has been unveiled. Happy Kardashian Kristmas!! This is the 2012 Christmas Card from the Kardashian-Jenner clan. This year’s theme seems to be a “White Christmas”. I’m also including some previous years’ cards at the end of the post too, for comparison. Note that Kim included poor dead Mercy the Kitty in the card. Mercy even got a shout-out in the special “Kardashian poem” inside the card: “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Kim was waiting for Santa, while her cat Mercy played with a mouse…”

Note that Kanye West is NOT included. Which I don’t think is that big of a deal – it’s not like Kanye and Kim are married, you know? Why would he be on the card? According to In Touch, Kim’s boyfriends never make the card because Kris Jenner’s rule is “only husbands and baby-daddies allowed.” In Touch’s source says, “The only guy she’s ever had on the family card was her first husband. If she marries Kanye, he’ll be on the card. If they get pregnant before they get married, it will have to be discussed with the family. That’s how Scott [Disick] got on the cards.”

Photos courtesy of Kim’s Celebuzz.