Don’t you hate it when two celebrities run into each other, and the next thing you know, all the gossip rags are claiming they’re hooking up? Well unfortunately for Lady Gaga, that’s what’s happening to her after Kermit the Frog gave her a ride to the VMAs. As a show of gratitude she gave him a kiss (People has the picture) and the pair were instantly said to be together, obviously enraging a jealous Miss Piggy. Kermit’s gone on the defensive, trying to get it out there that he and Lady Gaga are not together, never have been, and are just friends.

When Lady Gaga rolled up to the MTV Video Music Awards, the world was agog at the identity of her high-profile date – America’s Frog Next Door, Kermit the Frog. After all, the movie and TV star, singer and former pollywog had long been linked romantically to frequent costar Miss Piggy. Had he gone from mild-mannered Muppet to amphibian Jon Gosselin?

Not at all, Kermit insists. He fesses up about his date with Lady Gaga (who called him, not vice versa) and his relationship with a certain pig, dispenses advice to Kanye West and hints at why you haven’t seen him and Fozzie Bear out on the town together, in this special Q & A with PEOPLE.com.

PEOPLE: So how’d this date with Lady Gaga go down, exactly?
Kermit: Well, I wouldn’t really call it a “date” – at least not if I don’t want to end up as a coat for Miss Piggy. Y’see, I just gave Lady Gaga a ride to the VMAs, and when Lady Gaga left her credentials in the limo, I had to bring them to her. (On the off-chance security didn’t recognize her. Hey, it could happen.) Of course, after Lady Gaga and I were seen on the red carpet together, well … Miss Piggy got a little jealous. But I definitely did get a ride home – in the trunk!

How’d you and Lady Gaga get on away from the cameras? Is she a good kisser?
Lady Gaga is a wonderful person. In private, she is very down to earth … which is where I spend most of my time. As far as kissing Lady Gaga goes: she is a very good kisser, but it was not a romantic kiss. It was a kiss for good luck. Kissing a frog is good luck for the person giving the kiss – but bad luck for the frog if his pig finds out.

[From People]

It makes me happy that the good folks at People still enjoy a little whimsy. However I’m still not convinced that Lady Gaga and Kermit didn’t have at least a little fling. I mean there’s all this talk of a kiss – do you inherently kiss someone just because they gave you a ride to an awards show? And he knows about her in private? I think something was going on there, because Kermit’s saying all these things that could be interpreted a dozen different ways. But it sounds like there’s a lot of jealousy and drama going on in this love triangle. Lady Gaga did wear that Kermit coat a while ago. If that’s not some creepy form of obsession I don’t know what is.

Here’s Lady Gaga at a VMA afterparty this weekend. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Oh, the Video Music Awards. Where bad fashion goes to die, where pop music goes to celebrate itself. I remember when the VMAs used to be edgy. I remember when they were a huge deal. Now it just seems so… corporate. Maybe it was always corporate, and I was just naïve back in the day. Note: CB is covering the Kanye West/Taylor Swift incident, in which Kanye made a rather spectacular ass out of himself. Anyhoodle, here’s a rundown of the nights biggest winners and losers, both from the actual awards, and from the fashion:

*Winner: Lady Gaga’s “Mistress Dark Feathers” ensemble. According to Us Weekly, it was “a black lace Jean Paul Gaultier dress with Dragon print silk underlay from Gaultier’s fall/winter ready to wear collection. She accessorized the look with a Keko Hainswheeler neck brace and Kiko jewelry.” Later, in the press room, Gaga was wearing some grey-silver puffy leotard that was not attractive.

*Loser: Gerard Butler. He’s my boyfriend and everything, but he had no reason to be there, and he looked extremely grumpy. He needs to stop going to every event, you know? I love him, and I love seeing pictures of him, but I can only think that he was there to hit on the young 20-year-old reality stars. Or poor Taylor Swift, who had a rough enough night without Gerard Butler trying to put the moves on her.

*Winners: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart looking like they could eat each other up in every damn picture. The two of them, plus Taylor “Third Wheel” Lautner, were there to introduce a clip from New Moon. Poor (hot) Taylor. I bet he even had to go in the car with Pattz and Kristen, and they probably couldn’t keep their hands off one another. Kristen wore a really pretty beige-gold party dress, and her hair was super-cute. Sparkles is a mouth-breather, and he looked smug. Like “Yeah, I’m finally nailing Bella” smug.

*Loser: Perez Hilton and his “demented gardener/proctologist” look. And for being Perez.

*Losers: Pink and Shakira wore the same black Balmain mini-dress. Maybe I could understand if the dress was really, really cute, but it’s totally plain. The real loser is the House of Balmain, who should have been better organized than to send the same dress out to two pop stars for the same event.

*Winner: Beyonce, for winning Video of the Year, for her cute red outfit, and for being so classy to Taylor Swift.

*Loser: Jennifer Lopez, for whatever the hell she was wearing. She’s trying too hard, and it’s painful.

*Losers: All of the dumb, interchangeable MTV reality stars who all looked like hot death.

*Actual VMA winners:

Video of the Year: Beyonce, Single Ladies
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga, Poker Face
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem, We Made You
Best Male Video: T.I. featuring Rihanna, Live Your Life
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears, Womanizer
Best Rock Video: Green Day, 21 Guns
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift, You Belong With Me
Best Video (That Should Have Won a Moonman): Beastie Boys, Sabotage
Breakthrough Video: Matt and Kim, Lessons Learned
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga, Paparazzi
Best Choreography: Beyonce, Single Ladies
Best Cinematography: Green Day, 21 Guns
Best Direction: Green Day, 21 Guns
Best Editing: Beyonce, Single Ladies
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga, Paparazzi.

What can I say? Meh. Any award show that celebrates Eminem’s video “We Made You” as the best anything is a pretty crappy award show. Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” rocks though. I’m going to have that song stuck in my head all day.

Photo credit: RAM/Fame Pictures; WENN.com

Lady Gaga had an interview with an Australian radio station in which a DJ dared to ask her about the hermaphrodite rumors. Gaga was asked specifically about a much talked about incident when she was performing at Glastonbury in which she was videotaped getting off a motorcycle, her short dress riding up to reveal something extra in that critical area. Instead of explaining that her undergarments had bunched up or giving any kind of excuse, Gaga deferred giving an answer, saying it was beneath her. Maybe Gaga understandably took offense at the question, which wasn’t phrased delicately. (Note that a previous rumor that Gaga supposedly admitted she was a hermaphrodite was based on a fake quote, which is what Gaga is asked about.)

Female DJ: Gaga there has been some footage of you on YouTube playing at Glastonbury getting off a motorbike and there’s some suggestion that there’s some interesting thing going on in your crotch. [laughs nervously] Suggestions that you’re a hermaphrodite. I’m sure that you’ve seen that footage and heard those stories.

Gaga: You know what… it’s honestly too low brow for me to even discuss.

Male DJ: Does that therefore clarify that you never posted anything on Twitter or your blog acknowledging this situation there?

Gaga: I just, I’ve made fun of it before, but to even talk about it is just ridiculous. I’m an accomplished musician and I’d much rather talk about my fans and my music than a silly rumor.

[Transcribed from Lady Gaga's interview on The Matt and Jo Show in Melbourne, Australia, audio on TMZ]

Lady Gaga handled all that very well and was pretty gracious about it, changing the subject to a pop art exhibition she’s involved witth and talking about how she does performance art. I thought she sounded a little miffed, but her response was also a savvy one. If she explained the incident away, saying “my underwear bunched up” or something similar we would accept it and move on. This way, people will continue to speculate about this issue for quite some time. There’s also the possibility that Gaga doesn’t want to talk about it for a good reason.

Lady Gaga is shown at LAX on 8/24/09. Credit: O’Duran/Fame Pictures. She’s also shown on 8/21/09 performing at V Fest in Chelmsford, UK. Credit: BARM/Fame Pictures

Of all the looks Lady Gaga has tried, this one is the most offensive. I wasn’t even disturbed by her Kermit-the-frog-carcass dress, or by her Ritz-cracker hat. But this faux-Donatella Versace look is killing me, and not in a good way. Who wants to look like Donatella? And not even pure Donatella – Donatella mixed with a healthy dose of pastel-pink poodle. Here’s something that will offend you even more – the whole V Magazine photo shoot was done by famed photographer Mario Testino. What the hell was Testino thinking? His mission in life is photographing women so they look gorgeous, flawless, immaculate and amazing. Why did he get on the Lady Gaga crazy train?

In one more piece of “What the hell was Lady Gaga thinking?” news, several sources are reporting that a Lady Gaga-Michael Bolton collaboration is in the works has already happened. Bolton himself is quoted as calling Gaga “a young Madonna”:

Rumors emerged that Lady GaGa had collaborated with Michael Bolton on his latest album, One World One Love.

The veteran singer claims that when the blonde Let’s Dance star approached him, he had no idea who she was.

‘I was taking a break from production when my manager and the label tag-teamed me on the phone about writing with a young artist named Lady Gaga who I had never heard of – but they were raving about – they said that she was a huge fan of mine and wanted to write with me,’ he said, according to celebrity blogger Perez Hilton.

‘She reminded me of a young Madonna – with more exuberance and emphasis on the art rather than the marketing,’ he added.

[From the Daily Mail]

So I did two seconds of research (I actually googled Michael Bolton – shiver) and found that this new song leaked over the weekend. It’s called “Murder My Heart” and it’s allegedly written by Lady Gaga. I only listened to about 30 seconds of it before I put Nirvana Unplugged back on. That’s thirty more seconds than I would normally give Bolton, so perhaps this is a smart collaboration?

Here’s Lady Gaga in V Magazine and Neo2 – images thanks to A Socialite’s Life.

Tori Amos has had a long and massively successful nearly twenty year career. When asked by The Sun what she thought of current pop stars, she gave the an earful – at least that’s how they’re trying to spin it. They’re making it sound like Tori went off on Lady Gaga, when she essentially just said what most people have said about pop stars for a long time: she’s a novelty act and it’ll pass.

TORI AMOS fears LADY GAGA has a limited shelf life, hinting fans will soon tire of the quirky New Yorker’s novelty pop act.

The Cornflake Girl songstress – who’s been selling out venues since 1991 – struggles to visualise GaGa playing on the same bill as veteran rocker NEIL YOUNG two decades from now.

However, she admits the Poker Face singer’s unique brand of “entertaining” performance art is a welcome antidote to the global economic crisis.

She told The Sun: “She’s what I call a meteor – singers who entertain people for a while. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.

“But then there are people like Neil Young who show up at Glastonbury 40 years into their career. And that’s a very different kind of artist.

“Neil Young doesn’t have to get his bum out on stage!

“The question is, will Lady GaGa be playing alongside Neil Young at Glastonbury in 20 years time?

“She wants to entertain people. Right now, half the world is depressed and they need to be entertained. So her timing’s perfect.”

[From the Sun]

Tori’s spot on. Sure, there are a few who manage to go on forever: Madonna being the classic example. But think of all the bubblegum pop of the late nineties. Besides Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, who else is still performing? 90 Degrees? Um, the Backstreet Boys? Wasn’t there one even worse than them? Oh! LFO! Yeah, not so much. People always say Madonna stays relevant because she’s always changing it up. While that’s true, she’s not changing it up twice a day. Lady Gaga is overdoing it. And she’s not talentless, but she’s certainly not epic either. Madonna was changing her image every few years. Lady Gaga in a sense is stagnate, because her image is “the singer who’s constantly changing her look and doing wacky things.” And she hasn’t changed that at all.

Speaking of wacky outfits, here’s Tori Amos performing at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles on July 17th. Images thanks to WENN.com .

This might make me a weirdo, but I’ve never really formed an opinion on Lady Gaga. When I hear one of her songs on the radio in the car, I usually listen to it. Other than that, nothing much bothers me or excites me about her. I get that she’s doing the whole “life/career/everything as performance art” thing, and I find some of her outfits funny. It’s strange to me that she elicits such strong opinions either way, but whatever. Different strokes, I guess. She seems pretty harmless. And the girl’s got pipes.

So Lady Gaga is on the cover girl for September’s Out Magazine. This might just be one of the worst cover photos ever, I think. I get that it’s supposed to make you stop and go, “Dirty Sanchez, much?” However gross that image is, it’s the first thing I thought of. The slideshow at Out isn’t much better. Lady Gaga is not a photogenic girl, and posing with bones and fake vampire teeth doesn’t help much. But, “performance art” or whatever. The whole Out interview is here, but I just picked some of the more interesting quotes. Lady Gaga isn’t a moron – but she isn’t really that interesting beyond what she has to say/pander regarding the gays:

“My whole life is a performance,” she proclaims, “I have to up the ante every day.”

She’s the Michelle Obama of pop; her fashion is the constitution for a new utopia. “I believe in living a glamorous life and I believe in a glamorous lifestyle,” says Gaga. “What that means is not money or fame or prestige. It’s a sense of vanity and glamour and subculture that is rooted in a sense of self. I am completely 100,000% devoted to a life of glamour.”

Gayness is in Gaga’s DNA. A little brunette lighting bolt of energy born in Manhattan to Joseph and Cynthia Germanotta — Catholics with a healthy appreciation for the arts and the good sense to recognize a star when they bore one — Gaga began playing piano at 4 and composing at 13 under the tutelage of several gay mentors.

“I had a few gay piano teachers. I was in acting class and ballet from a very young age, and I remember being around a lot of gay boys in dance class. I feel intrinsically inclined toward a more gay lifestyle.”

She did Ellen before Leno, performed in gay clubs before straight ones, and plugs the gays constantly in interviews, even those with straight publications. Despite a lesbian subtext to “Poker Face” — the song is about, among other things, a woman lusting after a woman while dating a man — Gaga says, “I myself am not a gay woman — I am a free-spirited woman: I have had boyfriends, and I have hooked up with women, but it’s never been like ‘I discovered gayness when I was dot dot dot.’ ”

Her devotion to gay culture is unparalleled by any other artist operating at her level of visibility or success. “When I started in the mainstream it was the gays that lifted me up,” she says. “I committed myself to them and they committed themselves to me, and because of the gay community I’m where I am today.” Earlier this year, in her acceptance speech for her MuchMusic award for best international video, Lady Gaga thanked “God and the gays.”

Before agreeing to tour with Kanye West this fall, Gaga told the rapper, “I just want to be clear before we decide to do this together: I’m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love that it’s gay. And I love my gay fans and they’re all going to be coming to our show. And it’s going to remain gay.”

That’s another clause in the Gagaland constitution: Gay culture shall gush undiluted into the rapids of society. It shall not be co-opted, fancified, dolled up, or Uncle Tommed. “I very much want to inject gay culture into the mainstream,” she says, “It’s not an underground tool for me. It’s my whole life. So I always sort of joke the real motivation is to just turn the world gay.”

As Gaga herself puts it: “You’re only as great as your best references.”

“What I want to deliver, as a message about fame, is that anyone can have it. My fame lives in my friendships, in my convictions about the power of art and love — you could have 500 pairs of shoes that cost 10 cents and still be famous.”

[From Out Magazine]

As for the Kanye part, I actually think that would be a great show, a great collaboration. Kanye tends to love the gay community too, and he’s taken pains to speak out about homophobia in the rap/hip-hop community. Plus, Kanye’s fashion sense is so obviously influenced by the gay community. I’d really like to know what Kanye’s response was to Lady Gaga’s “I need everything to remain so gay” speech. My guess is Kanye was like “okay, cool.” It seems that so far, they’ve been getting along famously. Lady Gaga told MTV yesterday that “I love Kanye … [he] is my very dear friend and we are creative kindreds… It’s been fun to work on the design of the tour with him — we’re finishing each other’s sentences. It’s going to be one of the most groundbreaking moments in touring history… I am sure of it.” Would anyone else like to hear Lady Gaga do a version of “Golddigger”?

Lady Gaga reveals something at 1:10 into the video

The “Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite” rumors have been around since late last year, and they’re mostly based on a very obviously fabricated “blog entry” in which Gaga supposedly admits she has both male and female parts. Those fake quotes originated on an unknown celebrity blog last December and were never on any of Lady Gaga’s official sites. Lady Gaga never wrote anything that confirms that she’s a hermaphrodite, but some people believed it as she’s often photographed in small catsuits and tight leotards that sometimes push out in that critical area when she squats down, as those type of outfits often do. Here’s a good explanation of how that “blog entry” by Gaga is faked. The fake blog entry includes a signature that she she has never used, and also has ridiculous wording including “I have both a poon and a peener.”

It’s something someone wrote and posted onto the Starr Trash blog on Blogspot.com. Every other reference to this “entry” points only to the unsourced, unlinked “blog entry” on Starr Trash.

Even the signature, “L8d Gaga <3>” is a complete fabrication. That’s not something she uses on her blog.

In other words, the “I have a penis blog entry” is completely made-up, and anyone believing it has been totally had.

And they should really stop and reconsider why they are accepting things as fact just because some random anonymous person on the internet said it’s true. Chances are there’s a ton of s*** they think is true that’s complete fiction. It’s no wonder so many people have such a warped, distorted view of reality – they don’t even care enough to attempt to separate fact from fiction. They just accept anything they want to believe without question.

[From The Forum Site, comment #44]

This story is getting new mileage out of the fact that video has emerged of Gaga’s performance at the Glastonbury festival in England two weeks ago in which her dress lifts up slightly to show what could possibly be male parts hanging out. It’s at 1:10 into the video above. It’s hard to tell what we’re seeing exactly – it could be some panties that are bunched up, it could be something prosthetic that Gaga is using for publicity – remember this is the woman who donned a suit of Kermit the Frogs and had sparklers coming out of her boobs on stage – or it could be the real deal. I would bet that Gaga is more than aware of these hermaphrodite rumors and is putting us on. She knows how to use her outfits to get publicity – her whole career is based on it.

Lady Gaga is shown in performances and candids throughout July, 2009. Credit: WENN.com

A few days ago, The Mirror reported that Kelly Osbourne was talking some trash about Lady Gaga. Specifically, Kelly called Lady Gaga a “butterface” and said “She has everything but the face! She talks way too much and has too much attitude. I just wish she’d keep her mouth shut.” Personally, I think Kelly was accurately quoted. This wasn’t some situation where the Mirror reported that “a friend said Kelly said” or “an insider told us”. Kelly really said that – and as for the validity of the criticism, well… no comment. Maybe Lady Gaga has a good personality. Maybe Kelly does too. But I doubt it, in both of their cases.

Anyway, it seems that Kelly was very disturbed that she was most likely quoted accurately, and she’s now trying to roll it back. Kelly now claims to be a “huge fan” of Lady Gaga. Kelly went to Perez Hilton to make excuses (story via Starpulse):

The outspoken daughter of rocker Ozzy Osbourne allegedly lashed out at the “Just Dance” star, branding her a “butterface” and insisting she had “too much attitude.” But Osbourne is adamant she never made the comments – and insists she has no right to comment on other celebrities’ looks.

She tells PerezHilton.com, “I have a big mouth and that’s no secret. I often say things that get me into trouble but I always stand by them. But when words are being put into my mouth and things are being printed that I did not say, it really makes me really mad. I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga. If anything I’m slightly jealous of her wardrobe and I am definitely in no position to be calling anyone a butter face.”

[From Starpulse]

Here’s what I think happened: Kelly really called Lady Gaga a butterface, then realized how terrible it sounded, and tried to roll it back. Add to that the fact that people don’t really care about anything to do with Kelly Osbourne, and it just seems like a harmless little fight between a C-list celebrity and whatever Lady Gaga is. Enjoy your name in the press while you can, Kelly!

Here’s Kelly Osbourne leaving the Dorchester in London and Lady GaGa arriving at her London hotel on Sunday. Images thanks to WENN.com .

I’m still trying to figure out if I love or hate Lady Gaga. I know it is absolutely one or the other without any chance of an in between. But I have a lot of arguments either way. First, she’s quirky. And considering how much generic bubble-gum pop is out there, isn’t being a little off kilter sort of nice? She’s not some fake boobed fake orange tanned nitwit. On the other hand, you could easily say she’s just indulging ridiculous affectations in an attempt to seem strange and cutting edge. And she’s clearly trying way too hard – don’t tell me she rolls out of bed, spends 10 minutes figuring out her outfit, then just goes for it.

Yesterday Lady Gaga pranced around Manchester, England in a giant Ritz cracker. Made out of hair. Now when I find a hair on my Ritz, I get damn annoyed because I have to toss out a perfectly good cracker. Especially if I’ve already given it some nice peanut butter or what have you. Wasteful. Lady Gaga, clearly being more thrifty and less uptight than I am, grabs a bobby pin or two (and probably some Gorilla Glue) and plants that sucker on her head in an attempt to shill for Nabisco.

Lady GaGa sang to tens of thousands at Glastonbury over the weekend – and yesterday she showed she had other artistic talents.

The OTT American singer dropped in to help decorate a charity garden, and wore her most outrageous hairpiece yet.

As she painted away at Body Positive North West in Manchester, it looked as though she’d stolen one of the palettes and stuck it on her head.

But the wacky wardrobe went down a storm with workers at the HIV charity she was supporting.

She made her mark by dawbing the message ‘Love + Art + Kindness’ on to a picture of a herself on a wall as excited volunteers looked on.

Her visit to the charity was organised by Orange RockCorps, which gives people a chance to earn tickets to gigs in exchange for four hours voluntary work.

[From the Daily Mail]

The Daily Mail pointed out that the Ritz did keep the sun out of her face – and since I make a big deal out of being pro-sun protection, I feel like I can’t criticize this ridiculousness. It’s a rather absurd argument, but honestly what bothers me about Lady Gaga is how wasteful her crazy outfits are. I realize you hardly ever see celebrities wearing the same thing twice. But she’s got some new extreme ridiculousness every single day. What happens to the Ritz when she’s done with it – does it go to charity? End up tossed in the waste basket? I keep hearing how these are lean economic times –how lean can they be when Lady Gaga has multiple unusually shaped hair pieces?

I think I’m leaning towards liking her, despite myself. Even though she refers to inanimate objects by randomly assigned gender and her headwear makes me crave carbs… she’s not Paris Hilton, and for that, I give her credit.

Images thanks to WENN.com and Fame Pictures .