Lauren Bacall threatens children, but at least they are her own. She’s told The Independent newspaper, in a great interview, what she plans to do if her children ever authorize a posthumous biopic of her life.

“I’ve told my children I’ll haunt them forever if they do that.” You can’t even get her to stop working: she’s currently in Norway shooting the black comedy Wide Blue Yonder, set in a retirement home – the last place you’ll find her. “I just have to keep going as long as I can,” she smiles.

Kristin Scott Thomas said recently that “everyone is terrified of her”, and obviously her children should be too. Although I would haunt my children if they put me in a nursing home!

82-year-old Bacall also has a great view of getting older, and her career status.

“I’m old and I don’t give a damn.”

“If I’m a legend, I’m dead,” she says. “Do you want me to be dead? Legends are of the past.”

And a good attitude about being a celebrity.

“I have no respect for celebrities,” she continues, “and I object to being called one, so don’t try it! I’m an actress, not a celebrity.”

I think what Bacall is getting at here is that celebrities sometimes wind up so exposed that we can’t separate what we see on screen from what we read about. Nicole Kidman’s film career took a dive around the time of her divorce from Tom Cruise, and Lindsay Lohan’s film roles seem to be getting lost in her media overexposure too.

Then again, if Bacall was living her life over again in the noughties, we might feel a little overexposed. What a life! She started out as a model for Harper’s Bazaar, before moving into film and marrying Humphrey Bogart, many years her senior. They had two children, but eleven years later Bogart died of cancer when she was only 31. She married again and had another child, but also divorced second husband Jason Robards.

She was also involved with Frank Sinatra and a few other notable men, and wrote her biography in 1978. No wonder she doesn’t give a damn about being old – she hasn’t had time to even notice the years go by.

Does Nicole Kidman have Peter Pan syndrome or what? She’s dressed like an 80s Barbie doll and she’s going to a UN dinner for God’s sake, not the premiere of children’s movie in which she stars as a benevolent fairy.

Her face is also, as usual, unnaturally smooth looking. I can see the appeal in eradicating wrinkles, but you don’t have to infantilize yourself in a warped attempt to look younger. She was out with her parents, though, so maybe she was feeling particularly childish.

I found these new pictures of Lauren Bacall today and that reminded me of the time she lashed out at a British interviewer for calling Kidman a legend when they were doing press for their movie “Birth” in late 2004. Bacall said:
”She’s a beginner. What is this ‘legend’? She can’t be a legend at whatever age she is. She can’t be a legend, you have to be older.” [Quote found at Entertainment Weekly]

Bacall has definitely had a facelift, but she didn’t go overboard and she’s not getting enough maintenance for it to be noticeable. She’s 83 and she looks incredible. My mom had a facelift and she’s settled into it and looks great, not cat-like or freakish. I’m sure I’ll go that route in 20 years too. I also like the way Bacall looks annoyed in some of these photos, like she’s warning people not to mess with her while she’s doing her PR bit. Bacall is currently film Wild Blue Yonder, a film about an old dude who goes to great lengths to make sure his friend is buried at sea, in which she stars with Brian Cox, the evil Senator mastermind from the Bourne series. I hope I live to be at least 90, and I know I’ll be one of those ornery old ladies who is a tough cookie but can be nice when its called for, kind of like Bacall must be.

How long do you think it will be before 40 year-old Kidman starts showing the effects of too much work? She’s teetering on the brink now, and given the way she dresses you know she’s not about to age gracefully.

Thanks to WENN for the pictures of Kidman at the UN Development Fund For Women’s Unifem White Tie Dinner in Sydney Australia last night, and PRPhotos for the pictures of Bacall at a photoshoot in Boca Raton, also on on 8/1.

Update: Just Jared points out that the event Kidman was at was in support of the White Ribbon Foundation, which “seeks to eliminate violence against women by promoting cultural change.” That still doesn’t excuse her dress.