Is everybody starting to get slightly exhausted with all of the TomKat stuff? I am, but only a little bit. I wish everything had been drawn out for another few weeks, although I am enjoying all of the post-divorce-settlement drama too. I do think we’re going to be talking about The TomKat Split for months to come, especially when Katie or Tom (or both) find new partners. Anyway, The Enquirer’s cover story this week is all about Katie and Tom and how Tom is a “monster” because he locked Katie and Suri in Xenu’s Dungeon and audited them with a magic wand or something. As you can imagine, Team Cruise isn’t pleased about this at all. So Tom’s lawyer is threatening a lawsuit, and they’ve already sent a “blistering” letter to American Media (owners of The Enquirer, Star, Radar, etc).

Tom Cruise’s lawyer is threatening to sue the National Enquirer over a cover story that claims the actor is a “monster” who “abused” wife Katie Holmes and subjected daughter Suri to a five-month stay in a “tiny, windowless room.”

In a blistering letter sent July 11 by longtime Cruise attorney Bert Fields to Enquirer publisher American Media, a copy of which was obtained by The Hollywood Reporter, Fields claims the tabloid’s most recent cover story is “disgraceful and lurid” and will cause the actor “hundreds of millions of dollars of professional and personal damages, for which we intend to hold American Media, and everyone who participated in the perpetuation of this scurrilous attack, jointly and severally liable.”

Fields writes: “Your cover announces, as a fact, that ‘THE REAL TOM CRUISE IS A MONSTER.’ Mr. Cruise is certainly not a ‘monster.’ He is a caring father, a hardworking actor and, above all, an honest, decent man.” The cover also includes the headline “Inside Tom’s House of Horrors” alongside a picture of Cruise’s Beverly Hills residence as well as allegations that Holmes led a “tortured life” with the actor before filing for divorce on June 28.

THR reached out to American Media for comment on the letter and will update with a response.
Cruise and his Scientology religion have been the subject of intense media coverage in the wake of the Holmes divorce, which has since been settled. Fields and his law firm, LA’s Greenberg Glusker, first threatened American Media on July 10 when an image of the forthcoming Enquirer cover story leaked.

“This is the most defamatory cover the Enquirer has ever done,” wrote Greenberg Glusker attorney Aaron Moss to American Media senior media counsel Cameron Stracher in an email obtained by THR. “You need to stop this from coming out tomorrow.”

Lawyers for Hollywood stars often send warning letters to media outlets before negative articles are published because the letters help strengthen a potential defamation case, where a court would evaluate whether the outlet knew the story was false and published it with “actual malice.” When the full Enquirer story hit newstands July 11 claiming, among other things, that the Cruise/Holmes marraige was “a living nightmare” and Suri was forced to stay for five months in a tiny, windowless room, Fields followed up with the formal cease-and-desist letter.

“Mr Cuise’s home in Telluride, like his home in Beverly Hills, is a pleasant and loving home,” the letter reads. “Suri was not forced to stay for five months in a tiny windowless room. She spent most of her time with Tom and Katie. She slept in a nursery adjoining their bedroom. It has a window.”

The letter ends with a threat of litigation if the Enquirer does not “retract each and every one of your false allegations about Mr. Cruise with the same prominence and emphasis as you gave your original false and defamatory assertions.” Fields also threatens to “call the Court’s attention to your long record of printing and publishing malicious lies about celebrities in order to enrich yourselves at their expense.”

Fields writes that “these disgusting lies about Mr. Cruise will be there for all time, to be read by his children and, someday, his grandchildren.”

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

I chuckled at the emphasis on “the windowless room” pushback. Like that’s the worst thing being said about Tom Cruise these days? That’s always the danger for celebrities who do sue or threaten lawsuits on the tabloids – by choosing to bitch about a specific headline or story, the celebrity might be seen as giving some sort of “consent in absentia” for the OTHER tabloid stories. You know? Like, In Touch, Us Weekly, Star Magazine and People are all running variations on the whole “Katie is a victim, Tom is evil” storyline, but because Tom isn’t threatening a lawsuit over them, does that make them true?

I should also note that Tom (and Katie) have done battle with American Media before – Star Magazine had to issue an apology about their cover last year in which they said Katie was addicted to Xenu-zappers or something. So… will The Enquirer issue an apology or a retraction? It depends on how good The Enquirer’s sources are.

Some photos of Tom Cruise on the set of Oblivion, and Katie out last night (she wore leather pants!).

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

For years now, the Kardashian women have been shilling a product called QuickTrim. It’s one of those cheap-O diet things, like a supplement that supposed to decrease your appetite and boost your energy, all while helping you lose weight, I guess. Like cocaine, only different. I personally don’t know anyone who takes “QuickTrim” seriously, but that hasn’t stopped Kim and Khloe Kardashian from name-dropping the product in interview after interview, even using the endorsement to promote their own weight “loss” on various tabloid covers, and constantly shilling the brand on their Twitter pages. In any case, there might be a problem. Page Six reports that Kim and Khloe could be named in a possible class-action lawsuit claiming that QuickTrim is only a massive dose of caffeine and that it doesn’t promote weight loss at all.

Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloe face a possible class-action lawsuit over their diet product QuickTrim, which detractors say contains high levels of caffeine, an ingredient that’s “not safe or effective for weight loss.”

Kim and Khloe caused a stir over their paid endorsement of the product, which features a picture of bikini-clad Kim. It has reportedly generated $45 million in revenue since they struck the deal with New Jersey-based Windmill Health Products in 2009.

Law firm Bursor & Fisher is preparing a suit against Windmill and the marketing claims made by the Kardashians. An e-mail it sent to product users included a link to the firm’s Web site, which states, “The active ingredient in QuickTrim weight loss products is a large dose of caffeine . . . The FDA has determined that caffeine is not safe or effective for weight loss.”

Partner Scott A. Bursor told us, “My firm has been retained by an individual that purchased QuickTrim, and we are investigating the matter. We have provided written notice of our client’s claims to the company and others involved in marketing QuickTrim,” and his firm is reaching out to other QuickTrim users. Bursor & Fisher has won or settled cases against firms peddling products including hair loss remedy Avacor and diet supplement Xenadrine.

In January 2010, Kim said she used QuickTrim to shed 15 pounds in weeks. Last year she tweeted that she was using it to get in shape for her wedding, and Khloe also claimed she lost 15 pounds.

Adriane Fugh-Berman, a physician at Georgetown University Medical Center, warned in 2010 that QuickTrim contains large amounts of caffeine. She said, “They’re not saying how much caffeine is in these pills. Too much caffeine can make you jittery and increase your blood pressure and pulse. If you pop a couple of these pills with your Starbucks . . . you could get caffeine poisoning, which can cause heart arrhythmias.” Reps for the Kardashians and Windmill didn’t get back to us.

[From Page Six]

Look, if there’s a decent case there, I’m sure the lawyers will file suit and QuickTrim will probably have to settle and change their “claims” and “Kardashian testimonials.” I’m not even one of those people who complains about our too-litigious society – I think suing people is The American Way, and God bless the almighty subpoena. But I really have to ask all of these potential litigants: how incredibly stupid are you? Did you really expect miracle weight loss from a product endorsed by Kardashians?!?!

Photos courtesy Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Ever since Judge Marsha Revel recused herself from Lindsay Lohan’s ongoing legal drama, the word on the street is that Lindsay will be getting out of UCLA’s rehab facility much earlier than her sentence of 90 days. Dina Lohan took to the Today Show airwaves to make the initial pronouncement (something about “propaganda” and “hardball”), and then TMZ and Radar’s sources pretty much verified it. Now sources are saying that Lindsay’s new judge, Judge Elden Fox, is going to issue a “mystery ruling” today. If he’s just going to let Lindsay out of rehab early, how is that a mystery? A real surprise would be if Judge Fox actually gave Lindsay the “apology” and “compensation” she’s seeking. A real surprise would be if Judge Elden’s ruling was “Psych! You have to stay in rehab for a year, bitch.”

A mystery ruling in the ongoing court proceedings of troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan will be issued by Judge Elden Fox Tuesday afternoon, Los Angeles Superior Court officials said Monday.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Lohan’s attorney Shawn Chapman Holley is slated to attend a probation modification hearing Wednesday, along with prosecutors in the case, in hopes of getting the Mean Girls star out of rehab early, as her doctors at UCLA Medical Center believe she does not need more than 30 days of treatment.

Lohan, 24, was sentenced by the first presiding judge in the case, Judge Marsha Revel, to serve 90 days in jail, followed by 90 days of rehab for probation violations stemming from her 2007 DUI conviction.

Lohan began serving her sentence July 20 at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, California. After two weeks in custody, Lohan on August 2 was discharged from the CRDC early for good behavior and overcrowding, and taken directly to UCLA Medical Center to begin the rehabilitation stage of her sentence.

[From Radar]

We’ll bring the “mystery” to you whenever it comes in. I hope it’s a good one! I’m still racking my brain trying to figure out what new and intense punishments could be in store for Lindsay – what else could a new judge do to her? Make it a condition of her probation that she cannot give any interviews? That would mean Lindsay would be out $1 million for her Crackhead Diaries! Also: Donald Trump now wants Lindsay… for Celebrity Apprentice. I hate to say it, but I would watch that sh-t. You know Lindsay would be a crackhead mess.

Radar Online reports that Bones star David Boreanaz will be sued for sexual harassment today in a lawsuit that will be filed by celebrity attorney Gloria Allred. Boreanaz has had at least two affairs that we know of – one with Tiger mistress and current Celebrity Rehab contestant Rachel Uchitel and another with a porn star named Demi Delia.

Now normally I would take sexual harassment allegations very seriously. But let’s consider the fact that Back in May, Boreanaz admitted cheating on his wife and said that he was the victim of a mistress trying to extort money from him. TMZ reported that the woman was represented by Gloria Allred but that it wasn’t Rachel Uchitel.

There’s a new stripper/porn star tour featuring mistresses of Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Boreanaz and two out of the six strippers are currently represented by Gloria Allred. The tour also includes named Boreanaz mistress Demi Delia, and she may just be the “actress” that Allred is representing. This is a delicate subject because in no way would I say that a woman is not entitled to make a sexual harassment claim due to a career in adult entertainment. On the other hand, you have to consider the history of this case and some of the ridiculous antics that Allred has pulled with her clients. Allred’s credibility is questionable, and she’ll go to great lengths to get publicity. I wouldn’t put it past her to twist an affair into a sexual harassment lawsuit.

Here’s some of Radar’s report:

Bones star David Boreanaz, who has been caught in two extramarital affairs, is now being sued for sexual harassment by an actress, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

The lawsuit will be filed at 11 am PT Thursday in downtown Los Angeles by powerhouse attorney Gloria Allred. The actress will be with Allred when the papers are filed.

As RadarOnline.com revealed, Boreanaz had an affair with Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel. Earlier this year, Boreanaz admitted to a different affair and said the unnamed woman was trying to extort money from him.

That woman hired Allred. It is not known if she is the woman filing the lawsuit Thursday.

[From Radar Online]

If Allred’s new client has a legitimate claim and is not this Demi Delia mistress, (whose real name is Gina Rodriguez), first of all I would be surprised and secondly the woman is doing herself a disservice by hiring Allred. Allred adds the taint of “pitt bull on a one-sided mission” to everything she does, and has been involved in several cases in which it looked like her clients were trying to squeeze money out of someone. So is it this Gina Rodriguez/Demi Delia character and is Allred just taking the “sexual harassment” angle hoping for a settlement? If this report from Radar is correct, we’ll see at 11:00 am PST.

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay Lohan has officially hired super-lawyer Robert Shapiro, who I thought was already dead, honestly. Was I thinking of Johnny Cochran? Perhaps. But I digress. After playing around with the idea of hiring Beef Jerky, Esquire, Lindsay has broken our hearts with Shapiro. But our hearts won’t be broken for long – allegedly, Shapiro has “no plans” to file a last-minute appeal:

TMZ has learned famed lawyer Robert Shapiro will represent Lindsay Lohan in her jail saga, but we’re told Shapiro’s plan is not to appeal Lindsay’s 90-day jail sentence.

Sources say Shapiro, who was part of the team that successfully repped O.J. Simpson, will try to convince Judge Marsha Revel to put Lindsay in a rehab facility and either eliminate or minimize jail.

Shapiro, whose son died of a drug overdose in 2005, has a lot of experience with rehab facilities and we’re told he has a specific plan for Lindsay, and a specific place in mind — a live-in rehab facility in which Shapiro is involved. Shapiro created a foundation to help people deal with drug and alcohol problems, named after his son — The Brent Shapiro Foundation.

Shapiro was hired in a nick of time. Lindsay is supposed to turn herself in on Tuesday.

[From TMZ]

Meanwhile, Radar has an interesting interview with Lindsay’s prosecutor, Danette Meyers, who got on her high horse about the alleged appeal (I guess she doesn’t read TMZ): “It’s a really a moot point to ask Judge Revel to send Ms. Lohan to rehab only as Judge Revel has already sentenced her…Ms. Lohan is going to jail… Judge Revel could have sentenced her to more time behind bars, but she didn’t. The only issue to be decided is what rehabilitation facility Ms. Lohan will be sent to after she serves her jail time.”

Can you just imagine the gigantic margarita Shawn Chapman Holley is drinking right now? She doesn’t have to deal with that crackhead anymore! Hurray! Oh, and it’s sounding more and more like someone has talked some sense into Lindsay and told her that going to jail could be her best (and most profitable) career move ever. However, the countdown has already begun – Lindsay turns herself in on Tuesday… what kind of crack drama will there be?

Oooh, look at Shapiro’s eyebrows! That’s some Sam Waterson sh-t.

Lindsay on July 2, 2010. Credit: Fame.

Crackhead drama queens don’t take the weekend off, especially when they only have a few weeks of crack drama left before going to jail, so there is a ton of new Lindsay Lohan info today. First off, Lindsay Lohan does not believe she is going to go to jail. She’s hatched a crack scheme to ensure that doesn’t do the 90 days in jail. Lindsay’s plan? She’s going to appeal, appeal, appeal, hoping to draw this thing out for a year or longer. Is this all because she doesn’t want to kick her pack-a-day habit? No smoking in jail, poor Raspy LiLo.

Lindsay Lohan has figured out how to work the legal system and possibly stay out of jail for six months to a year, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. A source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com that by appealing her 90-day jail sentence for a probation violation, Lindsay will buy herself some time.

“Lindsay’s lawyer only has to file a notice of appeal with Judge (Marsha) Revel, and under terms of California law–particularly misdemeanor probation appeals–the defendant must be granted bail,” the source said, “Judge Revel will be forced to give Lohan bail pending the appeal, and Lilo wouldn’t even have to appear in front of Judge Revel again.”

The insider goes on to say, “the appeal will take six months to a year to be heard. It’s highly unlikely that Lohan’s appeal will be successful. However, it will keep her out of jail for at least the next six months to a year.”

While Judge Revel is required to legally grant her bail, the source added: “Judge Revel could order Lohan into the 90 day in-patient rehab program immediately.”

RadarOnline.com first reported Lindsay’s attorney Shawn Chapman Holley quit on Thursday after finding out that Lindsay was lawyer shopping. A source close to Lohan says, “Lindsay met with two prominent criminal defense attorneys on Wednesday, but both refused to take the case because of her bad attitude. Lohan blames everyone around her for her circumstances, and she is absolutely unaccountable. She is an attorney’s worst nightmare because she simply refuses to follow any advice that she disagrees with.”

If she isn’t given a reprieve, Lohan will begin serving her 90 day jail sentence on July 20.

[From Radar]

Yes, Lindsay has been doing some lawyer-shopping, looking for someone crazy enough to think that her ass should NOT go to jail. One of those lawyers is a Chicago-based attorney named Stuart Goldberg. He’s as big of a famewhore drama queen as Lindsay, and has already started making statements to the press about Lindsay (TMZ video here). However, Radar is claiming that Mr. Goldberg has not officially been hired (photo of Mr. Goldberg’s beef jerky self is below):

Despite rumors to the contrary, Chicago lawyer Stuart V. Goldberg has not been hired to represent Lindsay Lohan, RadarOnline.com can exclusively report.

“Stuart Goldberg is not Lindsay’s new attorney,” Lohan’s New York legal rep Stephanie Ovadia tells us.

Ovadia, a highly-regarded New York attorney who is representing Lindsay in her lawsuit against E*Trade, adds that “no attorney has been chosen as of now.

“The family is still in the process of interviewing.”

The news may come as a surprise to Goldberg, whose rep sent RadarOnline.com a statement that Lindsay and her mother “hired Stuart V. Goldberg as her new attorney” after a meeting Friday night.

Goldberg, who is also a screenwriter and fiction-writer, is not a member of the California Bar Association, according to a search of the organization’s website.

Lindsay has been sentenced in 90 days in jail followed by 90 days in rehab for violations to the conditions of her DUI probation. She’s complained that her “human rights” have been violated and has vowed to appeal the sentence.

Her search for a new attorney follows the decision of Lohan’s respected previous attorney Shawn Chapman Holley to quit representing the troubled starlet.

[From Radar]

And lastly, we have Lindsay’s renewed friendship with Samantha Ronson. Sam came to visit Lindsay over the weekend. I’m sure that was a great time, for real. Do you think Sam is trying to just be kind? Trying to be nice to someone with a lot of problems? Or is there something else going on? In any case, Sam got her high horse and defended Lindsay against some rather dumb jokes made by Joan Rivers. Joan is on Twitter, and she was throwing out one-liners like “Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge.” My favorite: “Lindsay Lohan had ‘F-ck You’ painted on her nails. What people don’t know is that the judge had ‘Eat me you party skank,’ painted on hers.” That one is actually half-decent, so props to Joan. So Sam tweeted to Joan: “”Hey Joan Rivers. You have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait I guess people that old can’t hear”. Wait, is Sam saying that Lindsay’s collagen is newer than Joan’s? Ha.

UPDATE: Oh, I missed this! Page Six is reporting that my girlfriend Judge Marsha Revel has ordered Shawn Chapman Holley (Lindsay’s lawyer, who quit her ass this past week) to stay on as Lindsay’s lawyer of record, at least until Lindsay finds a new one. Page Six’s source says: “The judge told Holley she can’t quit and leave Lindsay without representation. She has to stay on the case until Lindsay has a substitution of attorney filed with the court.” Apparently, Shawn quit because Lindsay “won’t take or follow advice. She is not returning calls, and so they haven’t been able to set up meetings with her and a psychologist for her court-ordered psychiatric evaluation.” Do you think Lindsay can get it together in time for an appeal? I have my doubts. So, Shawn Chapman = Still defending a crackhead.

Lindsay Lohan on July 9 & 10, 2010. Credit: Fame.

I was ready to call it a day (CB said it was my Easter holiday!) when I saw this new statement that Jesse James’ lawyer has just given to People Magazine. What probably started out as the lawyer simply confirming that Jesse James is back in rehab (after maybe leaving rehab over the weekend), the lawyer then went off the reservation, big time. First off, the lawyer’s name is Joe Yanny. My guess is that his law partner is Joe Mamma? Yes, that makes no sense, and yet I’m still giggling. Second point: Joe Yanny is a whiner. He really feels like his client is the most maligned douche in the world, and Joe Yanny is going to throw him the biggest pity party EVER:

As he continues undergoing treatment for personal issues, Jesse James has one overriding hope.

“When all is said and done, he wants the same people who were living in his house before all this happened to still be living there,” his attorney Joe Yanny tells PEOPLE. “And he wants to save his marriage with the woman he loves more than anything in his life.”

James, who checked into the treatment facility last month after allegations of infidelity against wife Sandra Bullock, “is doing as well as he can be,” says Yanny. “He’s focusing on what he’s doing and trying to make himself better.”

His lawyer also believes the media has gone too far with constant coverage and by naming the treatment facility.

“The First Amendment was not meant to cover the sexual lives of people who are not in office,” says Yanny. “This is sheer voyeurism and bullying, pure and simple. It’s disgusting.”

[From People]

“Sheer voyeurism and bullying, pure and simple. It’s disgusting.” Tut tut. Well excuse us! I mean, we only read about all of the dumb, skanky ladies his client was banging because they sold their stories to whoever would buy them. It’s not like we ran over to Jesse’s house and forced his wang into every piece with a forehead tattoo. Oh, and this bit: “And he wants to save his marriage with the woman he loves more than anything in his life.” Delusion McPipeDream, Esquire. Sandra should be leaving Jesse simply for the fact that Jesse hired this moron for his lawyer.

On Monday, March 15, Charlie Sheen pleaded not guilty to the one felony charge and two misdemeanor charges leveled against him by the Aspen, Colorado district attorney’s office. The charges stem, of course, from the alleged, alcohol-soaked Christmas beating he gave wife Brooke Mueller. Officially, it was Charlie’s lawyer Richard Cummins who entered the not guilty plea on Charlie’s behalf. The trial won’t be until July.

In addition to that, Radar has word that Charlie has hired a new lawyer to represent him for this case. This guy, Steve Cochran, has a reputation as a celebrity heavy-hitter, and his other clients have included Britney Spears, Michael Jackson and Forest Whitaker, amongst others. Here’s more, from Radar:

With his freedom hanging in the balance, Charlie Sheen has hired a new, high-powered Los Angeles lawyer to help defend him in his domestic violence case, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Sheen hired Steve Cochran, a well-known L.A. criminal defense lawyer who has worked on many high-profile cases including defending Michael Jackson. RadarOnline.com learned that Sheen wanted more firepower in the courtroom. Richard Cummins has been Sheen’s lead attorney until now.

Cochran will be admitted pro hac vice to assist in Sheen’s defense Monday. Pro hac vice is a term used “for the moment” that allows a lawyer to practice in another jurisdiction.
It is unclear if Cummins will remain as the lead attorney but sources tell RadarOnline.com that Team Sheen believed they needed a “more high powered” attorney on the case for the Two and a Half Men actor.

Cochran left Jackson’s defense team in 2004 for unspecified reasons. Thomas Mesereau Jr. continued to represent Michael, who was acquitted. Cochran represented Jackson on many matters, including in 1993 when the singer was accused of child molestation. He has also represented Sheen previously, Britney Spears, Forest Whitaker and other tops stars.

Colorado has been cracking down on domestic violence cases and as RadarOnline.com reported Chief Deputy District Attorney Arnold Mordkin will not accept a plea bargain from Sheen that does not include a felony charge. Sheen will not plead to a felony but would be willing to make a deal pleading to misdemeanors in exchange for no jail time, sources told RadarOnline.com.

But with both sides at a stalemate the court action gets underway on Monday with Sheen’s arraignment. The actor will face jail time if convicted. RadarOnline.com learned exclusively he will contend that the violence and threats never occurred and that his wife’s drug problems make her words unbelievable.

Sheen, who has returned to work on his TV series, had been in rehab for several weeks because he had started drinking alcohol again and using cocaine.

Brooke Mueller recently went into rehab, is addicted to crack and is an alcoholic. She has been in rehab more than five times over the years, RadarOnline.com learned. Mueller does not want to cooperate with prosecutors. Her 911 call will be a key piece of the the prosecution case but the defense will counter by saying she was drunk at 8:30 in the morning and also on crack.

[From Radar]

To me it seems like Charlie is really serious about not going to jail and not being forced into some kind of alcohol or domestic violence program. And you know what? If he’s got the money for these big-time lawyers, chances are the lawyers will drown the local, civil servant district attorney’s office in paperwork. I don’t think Charlie is going to jail. I don’t think Charlie is going to be forced into going into any kind of program. I think Charlie is back to drinking, doing coke, and bangin’ hookers, and that’s what he intends to keep doing. Just my theory!

Charlie in Aspen on March 15, 2010. Credit: INFphoto.com

CB sent me this story yesterday, but after the E-Trade debacle (which has a new chapter that I’ll to in a moment), I was slightly Lohan-ed out. Which brings me to a conversation point: the banning of Lindsay on this site. CB and I have talked about it, and the truth is, Lindsay is still totally gossip-worthy, as evidenced by how many hits we consistently get on Lohan posts. She’s a hot mess, yes, but she’s also crazy and arrogant and delusional, and even though it might make me a bad person, I find that I enjoy writing about her shenanigans. She doesn’t have the sheer tragedy of Britney Spears – Lindsay’s downfall isn’t about some chemical imbalance or anything, Lindsay’s problem is The Cult of Entitlement, you know? No one telling her “no”, no one telling her “you can’t pull this sh-t and still have a career.” Except people did say that to Lindsay, and she was too coked up to listen.

Anyway, the first story is that Lindsay was on a UK talk show with Alan Carr, and Carr asked her a bunch of “uncomfortable questions”. Like, “Are you Arthur or you Martha now? Are you back on the c-ck?” I’ll give Lindsay credit for looking genuinely embarrassed:

Meanwhile, in Lindsay’s-only-problem-is-her-childhood-milkaholism news, Lawyers for both “sides” are speaking out. Mostly, it’s Lindsay’s sketchy lawyer doing the talking, but E-Trade did release a short statement to Esquire: “While E*TRADE doesn’t typically comment on pending litigation, we felt it appropriate given the high level of interest in the E*TRADE Baby. With the E*TRADE Baby, our advertising campaign is meant to be witty and memorable, while effectively communicating the powerful investing tools and services offered by E*TRADE. We believe the claims are without merit and we intend to defend ourselves vigorously in this case.” Lindsay’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, had much more to say:

Lindsay Lohan’s case against E*Trade is heating up, with both sides trading barbs, denials and accusations over a TV ad about a “milk-a-holic” baby named Lindsay. Since being filed in New York on Monday, the lawsuit has raised more than a few eyebrows. Stephanie Ovadia, Lohan’s lawyer at the forefront of the lawsuit, tells PopEater that skeptics need to look at the “totality of the commercial, taking into account name and characterization.”

If you really want to know when E*Trade (or its ad agency, Grey Group) turned the corner and decided to model the boyfriend-stealing baby after Lohan, Ovadia asserts, all you need to do is look at the ad’s script. “This script is a very important piece,” she tells us. “Because, slowly, all of the pieces are fitting together to make one complete picture.”

That “piece” of the puzzle emerged this week via Esquire magazine, which happened to be embedded with Grey while they were crafting the baby ads. In the original script, dated Aug. 11 of last year, the “other woman/baby” character was named Deborah. In an updated draft six weeks later, the “bimbus” (which was eventually changed to “milk-a-holic”) was changed to Lindsay. Adding confusion to the mix, the name Deborah was still referred to later in the script, but scratched out for the new name.

As we previously reported, Lohan is suing the company for $100 million, insisting they modeled the baby after her. Ovadia insists that because of her stardom, Lohan now has single-name recognition among the general public.

Lohan believes that under New York state law, E*Trade was supposed to ask for her approval before using the name. They want the TV spot off the air and want $50 million in exemplary damages and another $50 million in compensatory damages.

[From PopEater]

Ugh. This lawyer sounds as bad as Lindsay, doesn’t she?

Lindsay in Paris on March 9 & 11, 2010. Credit: ANG/Fame Pictures.

Two weekends ago, the News of the World published a scandalous story about Brad and Angelina “consulting a divorce lawyer” to split up their assets and work on a custody agreement ahead of their big breakup. This story jumped internationally very quickly, and many, many, many people freaked out, both the Brangelina lovers and haters. It was a weird situation, because the report didn’t seem to have any more merit than all of the random Star Magazine and In Touch Weekly stories that have Brad and Angelina breaking up every single week. Still, it touched off a big media war, one that Brad and Angelina are still doing some damage control on. And now it’s not just some friendly photo-ops to let everyone know they’re fine – it was just announced that Brad and Angelina are suing! This is seriously the first time they’ve ever sued, so it’s a big deal:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are suing a London tabloid for claiming that they were planning to split.

The couple’s lawyer Keith Schillings tells BBC News that Pitt, 46, and Jolie, 34, have begun legal proceedings against the News of The World tabloid, which reported Jan. 24 that the two had agreed to divide their assets and made arrangements for the custody of their six children, Maddox, 8, Pax, 6, Zahara, 5, Shiloh, 3, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 18 months.

Schillings tells the BBC that the tabloid report contained “false and intrusive allegations” and that the paper failed to meet a demand for a retraction and apology for the article which was “widely republished by mainstream news outlets.”

Schillings says Sorrell Trope, a Los Angeles divorce lawyer identified by some publications as advising the two, denied claims that he had been in contact with the couple. “I have had no contact from… Angelina Jolie and / or Brad Pitt,” Trope said in a statement. “I have never met… your clients or had any involvement with either of them. The foregoing is true with respect to all other members of this firm.”

A spokesperson for the News Of The World has yet to comment.

Pitt and Jolie, who are not married, packed on the PDA Sunday during an appearance at the Super Bowl in Miami. They took their eldest son, Maddox, to the big game.

[From Us Weekly]

I’m going to put all of my cards on the table: I like Brad and Angelina, together and separately. I think they’re good people, I think they put up with a lot of crap from the media, and I think they’re generally pretty smart about how they handle their public personas. All that being said, one of their dumbest moves as a couple was to have no publicist together or separately, and to have no media consultant or anyone like that. They should have had someone on their staff dealing with the media fulltime ever since 2006, when Brad let go of his long-time publicist. Having someone on permanent standby would have helped a lot throughout the trials and tribulations the tabloids seem to have Brangelina going through every week. And now that they’re taken on lawyers and are actually suing one publication for one story, it just strikes me as too little too late. Why this story and not the others? I don’t get it.

Oh, and why not sue Ian Halperin while they’re at it? That guy needs to be taken down.

Brad and Angelina at the LA premiere of ‘Inglourious Basterds’ on August 10, 2009.