Man, the gavel of justice is really coming down hard on celebrities lately. Not that that’s a bad thing – it’s a good thing that they’re being held accountable for their actions like the rest of us. Well, that they’re at least increasingly being held accountable. It’s not great that celebrities, young and old, seem to be getting into a lot of trouble lately. But let’s be honest – we hope they live and all, but it’s all right when they add a little drama to our lives. Better they end up in rehab than us, am I right? Is that silence? Okay it’s just me then. Carrying on. George Clooney might be joining the ranks of Britney, Paris, and Lindsay. Yes, it’s the long, bleached blond hair, but he also might see himself in a criminal court of law soon. As Celebitchy reported, Clooney crashed his motorcycle on Friday in Weehaweken, New Jersey. He said that a car cut him off by making a right turn from the left lane, but the other driver said it was Clooney who was driving erratically.

“Lucky to be alive, Hollywood actor George Clooney could face dangerous driving charges in connection with the motorcycle crash he and his girlfriend were involved in on Friday. According to Weehawken Police Sergeant Sean Kelly, Clooney might have caused his New Jersey accident by attempting to pass a car which tried to take a right hand turn from the left lane. ‘It’s a he-said, she-said right now, but you can’t pass on the right in Weehawken or anywhere in Jersey,’ Kelly said. ‘If he was passing on the right, that’s a moving violation,’ Hudson County Prosecutor Ed Defazio said yesterday.

“While the Mazda driver, identified as Sciancaledore, 27, insists it was Clooney’s fault, the actor’s publicist said ‘The car signaled left. George was riding to the right. The driver decided to make an abrupt right turn and clipped George.’ Sciancalepore was fined for not having his registration with him at the time of the accident, Weehawken Public Safety Director Jeff Welz said.”

[From E Flux Media]

I’m guessing no matter what happens, Clooney will end up in court on the business end of a lawsuit. I’m sure while that other guy was being rammed, he had little dollar signs floating out of his ears. Probably dreaming about Clooney’s famed Lake Como estate, which will now be the guy’s summer home.

The only happy thing about this story? This sentence: “The 46-year-old star suffered a fractured rib while his 28-year-old girlfriend, a former reality TV contestant and cocktail waitress, broke at least two tows.” Yes that’s right, poor George Clooney’s girlfriend broke her tows. Now I don’t know how big her feet would have to be two support at least two tows. She might have more than two, we only know for sure that two were broken. All five of her toes might actually be tows, for all we know. But can you imagine the snowshoe-sized footwear this woman must have to lug around to hide her two tows? That’s probably what really caused the accident. George Clooney’s girlfriend’s tows threw off the motorcycle’s center of gravity.

I’m not sure if we have that many country music loving folks here, so I generally don’t cover the Nashville scene all that much. But once in a while a crossover tale emerges, and you end up with the likes of Mindy McCready, most famous to us non-Nashvillians (is that what they’re called?) as the lady who once dated former Superman Dean Cain. She’s also had several country hits, including “Guys Do it All the Time.” McCready has lived a rather… dramatic existence the last several years. She’s been a victim of extreme domestic violence, her boyfriend tried to murder her, she had a suicide attempt when she found out she was pregnant, and has since struggled with drug and alcohol addictions. This past Friday, McCready was sentenced to a year in jail for violating her probation after she was arrested for assaulting her mother and resisting arrest – police had to use pepper spray to get her under control.

“The jail sentence should keep McCready out of the blotter for a few months, which is something of rarity. In addition to her 2004 conviction for prescription fraud, she was arrested in May 2005 on charges of drunken driving and driving on a suspended license, though only the latter charge stuck.

“Shortly after the bust, her then boyfriend and father of her son, Billy McKnight, was arrested and charged with attempting to murder McCready after a domestic dispute reached alarming heights of brutality.

“In August of the same year, the “Ten Thousand Angeles” singer, who has not released an album since 2002, was again arrested and held for 10 days after a warrant was issued in her name for parole violations. In her subsequent court appearance, McCready revealed she had attempted suicide after learning she was pregnant and had been hospitalized for an overdose of drugs and alcohol.”

[From E! News]

The really sad thing was when McCready was on Oprah, she kept talking about how she loved McKnight and still wanted to be with him and hoped they could work things out. And Oprah kept telling her she was messed up. I think she phrased it a little nicer, but it’s Oprah and she can be a hard ass, so you never know. Since that time, McCready has had several run-ins with the ex-boyfriend, who she admits she can’t stay away from. She was on probation for forging a prescription for OxyContin. She only had three more months, but didn’t make it.

“In the early morning hours of July 21, police in Fort Myers, Florida, responded to a call placed by McCready’s mother, Melody Inge. Inge told the dispatcher that her 31-year-old daughter was intoxicated and causing a ruckus at the family home. When police arrived, they found Inge with a scratch on the side of her face.

“McCready was rung up on charges of battery and resisting arrest. The ‘Guys Do It All the Time’ singer proved herself a difficult capture, refusing to be cuffed, police said. (For her part, McCready claimed she was tackled by officers while holding her 16-month-old son. The singer also claimed that she suffered a broken nose and sustained bruising during her scuffle with the cops.)

McCready failed to ease up during the booking process at the local Lee County Jail, police said, and officers were forced to pepper spray the entertainer into submission.

“She was eventually released on $1,000 bail, at which point she flew from Florida into Nashville, where she was taken into custody and booked at Williamson County Jail. She has been held in the facility without bail for her hat trick of violations: Not only did she break probation by getting arrested, but she failed to report the arrest to her probation officer and engaged in ‘assaultive behavior’ throughout the encounter.”

[From E! News]

She was sentenced to a year in the county jail for violating her probation, along with two additional years of probation and 200 hours of community service. McCready told the court she was sorry, and asked to have a chance to “make things as right as they can possibly be.” A lot of the stories written about McCready make her out to be the bad guy, and while she certainly is (in terms of what she did at her mom’s house), I also feel badly. Clearly she has some serious issues relating to being abused, and jail hasn’t – and probably won’t – address those issues. It sounds like she’s relied on drugs and alcohol to deal with it. Hopefully they will be some court-mandated counseling, too.

Picture note by JayBird: Header image of Mindy McCready performing in Nashville in June, 2005. Images thanks to PR Photos. Here’s McCready’s booking photo courtesy of the Lee County, Fla., Sheriff’s Office.

You know the phrase “Once an ego maniacal wife beating rageaholic murderer, always a thief”? Well it turns out my just-coined phrase perfectly describes OJ Simpson, who has been named as a suspect in a casino break-in. Now before images of “Oceans 11” flash through your brain, keep in mind that OJ is not nearly as sophisticated, nor as non-scary, as Brad Pitt and George Clooney. OJ’s tactics are a little more “round up a posse and kick stuff”-esq. Reports are still conflicted, so I’ll do my best to explain what’s being alleged, and the different versions therein.

“Investigators questioned O.J. Simpson and named him a suspect Friday in a break-in at a casino hotel room involving sports memorabilia. The break-in was reported at the Palace Station casino late Thursday night, police spokesman Jose Montoya said. He said investigators determined the break-in involved sports collectibles. ‘When they talked to him, Simpson made the comment that he believed the memorabilia was his,’ Montoya said. ‘We’re getting conflicting stories from the two sides.’

Simpson was released after he and several associates were questioned, but he is considered a suspect in the case, Montoya said. He is believed to be in Las Vegas. ‘We don’t believe he’s going anywhere,’ he said. Simpson has had to auction off his sports collectibles, including his Heisman Trophy, to pay some of the $33.5 million judgment awarded to the Goldman family.

[From Yahoo News]

You don’t believe OJ Simpson is going anywhere? Does he have Al Cowlings and a white Bronco within 30 yards of him? Oh, I’m sorry, it’s now called a Ford “Escape.” Even better. OJ Simpson, if you’re forced to sell your sports memorabilia by the court, even though you really don’t want to, it’s no longer yours. That’s what happens when you murder two innocent people and a civil court finds that you owe their families a lot of money that your refuse to pay. You lose your trading cards. Actually the specific memorabilia in question has not been named. But I’m going with trading cards, because Simpson seems more than crazy enough to fly to Vegas to steal a pack of them.

MSNBC is reporting a more detailed account of what went down:

“Investigators questioned O.J. Simpson and named him a suspect Friday in an incident at a casino hotel room involving sports memorabilia. ‘When they talked to him, Simpson made the comment that be believed the memorabilia was his,’ police spokesman Jose Montoya said. ‘We’re getting conflicting stories from the two sides.’

“NBC affiliate KVBC-TV reported that a man alleged that Simpson and four other men, one with a gun, confronted him about sports memorabilia at his Palace Station hotel room. KVBC-TV reporter Angela Martin said a man, whom she did not identify by name, had told her that Simpson and four men had entered his room, with Simpson demanding he return what Simpson said were sports memorabilia stolen from him years ago.”

[From MSNBC]

You’d think that if any significant sports memorabilia (significant enough for OJ Simpson and a bunch of friends to go to Las Vegas and break into a guy’s room with a gun) was truly stolen from Simpson, it would have been reported in the press. I’m guessing Simpson considers it stolen because he wanted it and the court made him auction it off. I could be totally wrong, but because I consider this guy to be the lowest life form on Earth, I’m going with the most selfish scenario possible. Even if the memorabilia was truly stolen from him, that doesn’t mean Simpson can break into someone’s hotel room to steal it back. No matter what the reasoning, it seems he committed a crime. Wouldn’t it be just fabulous if OJ Simpson at least went to jail for a this? Yeah it’s not much, and I really doubt he’d be anyone’s jail bitch, but it’d still be something.

Many commentators are pointing out the extraordinary coincidence that Simpson is in the news for a significant criminal act for the first time in so long. Today is also the release of his book “If I Did It” – the so-called fictional account Simpson provided of how he would have killed his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and her friend Ron Goldman, if he’d killed them, which he stresses he didn’t. Simpson lost the rights to the book because he still owes the Goldmans most of the $33 million awarded to them in the wrongful death suit. The Goldmans were awarded the rights to the book and decided to go ahead and publish it, but instead of a “hypothetical account” they’re labeling it “true crime.” Whatever money the Goldmans make from the book sales will go to satisfy Simpson’s debt to them. Perhaps OJ’s just trying to raise sales?

Update: OJ has told the Associated Press that he was conducting a sting operation and he was escorted into the room to collect his belongings, according to MSNBC. The reporter, John Larsen, also kept laughing when he said it.

Praise Jeebus, one of the many lawsuits against Lindsay Lohan is going forward! This one is over the October 2005 crash in which Lohan hit a van that was making an illegal u-turn. Lohan was looking behind and over her shoulder at the time, but it was still ruled to be the van driver’s fault, since he was making an illegal turn. He’s sued Lohan for upwards of $200,000, and his lawyer has alleged that Lohan was drunk at the time of the crash. The lawyer’s logic is essentially that Lohan is drunk a lot, so she was likely drunk then. I’m not oversimplifying too much, that’s pretty much what the guy is saying, just in legalese. It didn’t seem like there was a good chance that the lawsuit would proceed to trial, given that it’s hard to prove Lohan was drunk at that specific time. Yeah we all know the burden of proof is much lower in a civil trial, but there’s still no evidence that Lohan had been drinking. She had just left the Ivy, and there are no witnesses that she drank during lunch there, and the California Highway Patrol said alcohol was not a factor in the crash. Still, Lindsay is a reckless person in general, both with her own body and with others. It seems likely that her own negligence had something to do with the crash – yeah the guy shouldn’t have been making an illegal u-turn, but Lohan shouldn’t have been driving forwards while looking backwards.

A lot of “accidents” have happened to Lindsay in the last couple years. Enough that it starts to look suspicious even before the DUIs and rehab and all that. Here’s a little timeline I put together of Lindsay’s last three years from Wikipedia, Hollywood.com, People, and Yahoo. Let’s recap, shall we?

2004
Car Crash – August 3. Studio City, CA. Lohan later sued.

Hospitalization – October 25th. “High fever” in Los Angeles, CA.

2005
Hospitalization – February. “Chest pains.”

Hospitalization – March 17th. Sprained ankle.

Car Crash – May 31. Fender bender.

Car Crash – June 1. “Innocent victim.” Led to a California law meant to control crazed paparazzi – holding them liable for triple damages whenever they cause a crash.

Car Crash – October 5. “Innocent victim.” Leaves the Ivy, slams into a truck that’s making an illegal u-turn. Lohan admitted she was looking behind her shoulder at the time. Lohan later sued.

2006
Hospitalization - January. Slipped on a staircase, broke a teacup and cut her leg in London.

Hospitalization - January. Asthma attack in Miami. 4 days in the hospital.

Hospitalization – July 25. Overheating and dehydration on the set of “Georgia Rule.”

Hospitalization – September. Broken wrist in New York City.

Car Crash – November 7. “Bumped” a paparazzo with her car in Los Angeles at 2am after leaving Hyde.

Car Crash – November 17 (approx). Vehicle rams into a police car in London with then-boyfriend Calum Best.

2007
Hospitalization - January 4. World’s briefest appendectomy. Seen partying until morning the day after alleged surgery.

Rehab - January 18. Checks into Wonderland Center.

Car Crash – March. Strikes a photographer with her BMW in Los Angeles.

Car Crash – March 13. Strikes a photographer in New York.

Car Crash – May 26. Loses control of her Mercedes and strikes a curb.

Hospitalization – May 26. Minor injuries related to car crash.

Arrest – DUI – alcohol. “Usable” amount of cocaine found in vehicle.

Rehab – May 28. Checks into Promises.

Car Chase – July 24. Commandeers white GMC and chases former assistant’s mother through Santa Monica. Fails field sobriety tests. Blood alcohol level tested at between 0.12 and 0.13 percent. Small amount of cocaine found in pocket of pants.

Arrest – July 24th. Arrested on felony charges of possession of cocaine, transportation of a narcotic, and misdemeanor DUI and driving with a suspended license.

Rehab – August. Checks into Cirque Lodge.

So that’s nine car crashes in three years. Three trips to rehab in less than one year. Nine trips to the hospital, all under rather dubious circumstances. At some point you realize she’s either the unluckiest girl in the world, or she has a lot to do with all these things that “happen” to her. It’s more that she’s happening to them. She’s not just some girl who accidentally has 9 trips to the hospital. Unless she has a serious and chronic disease we don’t know about, nine trips in three years is not normal. I’m guessing Lohan has probably been drunk since about 1995 onwards, and all the falling down the stairs, heat exhaustion, and broken teacups attacking her are the logical result of all the drunkenness.

On the upside, it appears that Lohan’s community service for said drunk driving, cocaine, and chasing people will include a few little activities we didn’t know about. According to MSNBC, Lohan “must complete a three-day county coroner program in which she’ll visit a morgue and talk to victims of drunken drivers.” I doubt the victims of drunken drivers will impact Lohan in the least, because that’s about other people. But maybe the morgue will give her a better idea of what’ll happen to her if she doesn’t shape up, and let’s face it, it’s all about Lindsay.

So I was sitting around, feeling all badly for poor, knocked-up, jailed Foxy Brown. Images of that lady who gave birth on the prison floor a few months ago kept creepy into my mind. Remember that one? She was in the Lackawanna County Prison, and the guards refused to take her to the hospital. She kept pleading with them, telling them she was in labor, and all they did was put her into a cell with a camera and ignore her. She gave birth on the prison floor, and one of the female guards had to cut the baby’s umbilical cord with her fingernails! True story. I kept imagining Foxy Brown in that kind of distress. Which sorta amused me. I mean no! That’s horrible, not even Foxy Brown should be subjected to such atrocities. But if anyone should, it’d be her. Oops. Well it turns out that won’t be happening anytime soon, unless Foxy manages to get knocked up by a sexually ambiguous cellmate.

“It turns out that the only thing Foxy Brown is expecting to do in jail is promote a record. Contrary to the buzz set off by the Chyna Doll rapper’s own attorneys, Brown is not three months pregnant, according to her manager, Chaz Williams.

“‘And to the pregnancy rumors, this is the official statement: She is not pregnant,’ Williams said Wednesday. Brown is currently behind bars at Rikers Island on New York’s East River, her home for the next year for violating her probation in connection with her 2004 throw-down in a Manhattan nail salon.

“‘This is just a temporary situation,’ Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, said in a statement. ‘I made my bed and have no problem lying in it. My will is steady. What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.’

Brown has not formally addressed the pregnancy talk, but she was quoted by the New York Post’s Page Six on Aug. 20, two days before she was locked up, saying, ‘I’m getting married in September. I’m pregnant.’ And even one of her lawyers said that she was expecting.

“‘She’s getting married, she’s three months pregnant, she signed a record deal two weeks ago and she is in contract for a reality TV show’ New York State Senator John Sampson told Jackson on Aug. 22 to stir sympathy for the jail-bound entertainer.”

[From E! News]

Oops! What are the odds the Foxy was misquoted at such a convenient time? Or that her lawyer was too? Pretty slim I bet. I guess there’s a chance that she was pregnant and had a miscarriage due to the stress of all the court stuff, but don’t you think she’d be blabbing about that, too? There’s really nothing Foxy won’t say or do to get her way. The rules apply to everyone else. Wanna make up a pregnancy so you don’t have to do time for your multiple crimes? That’s fine, you’re special. Really though, how did she think she’d get away with that? At some point there won’t be a baby, and I’m guessing people are going to put two and two together and start to get suspicious. She’s obviously allowed to lie to the press, but she could get in trouble for lying to the court. That would make me really, really happy. Especially if, someday when she does get pregnant, they make her give birth in a jail cell, as a retroactive punishment.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Foxy Brown is shown on 6/07/07 at the Urban Music Awards with Spragga Benz. Thanks to WENN for this photo.

Illustration from prettyontheoutside.com
Some celebrities get a million second-chances, and some only get half a million. Foxy Brown seems to be the latter. After countless run-ins with the law Foxy is finally going to spend some significant time in jail, stemming from a probation violation. A New York City judge sentenced Brown to one year in jail for violating her probation after she threw her cell phone at a neighbor who complained when the rapper blasted music from her car for a prolonged period of time. Brown was arrested and charged after the incident, and will face a separate trial in Brooklyn. In addition to that arrest, which triggered the court appearance and probation overview, a Probation Department lawyer noted that they had filed four additional violations against Brown for leaving New York without telling the Probation Department and for moving from Brooklyn to Mahwah, New Jersey without seeking permission. She also failed to inform her probation officer that she’d received seven traffic summonses in New Jersey in the short time she’s been on probation. So all in all, rules don’t apply to her, even when she knows she’s being closely monitored and will go to jail for ignoring them.

“Foxy Brown was sentenced to one year in jail Friday for violating probation stemming from a fight with two manicurists in a New York City salon. Criminal Court Judge Melissa Jackson sentenced the rapper at a probation hearing for Brown, 28. ‘I’m not going to give you any more chances,’ the judge told Brown. ‘I hope you turn your life around and never again have to stand in a court of law.’

“Brown was also indicted in Brooklyn Friday on charges that she smacked a neighbor with a cell phone. Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, was on three years probation for assaulting two manicurists at a Manhattan nail salon in August 2004. Just before her hearing began, Brown, in handcuffs and wearing an elegant gray pantsuit, asked the judge for yet another chance at freedom and promised to straighten out her life.

“‘I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to change,’ Brown told the judge. She said she had made a lot of mistakes before Jackson jailed her. ‘I realize that’s not where I want to be. It’s humbled me in ways I never imagined.’ Jackson replied, ‘Ms. Marchand, it’s too little, too late. I’m glad you’re learning something; that’s a positive.’ …The judge had said the defendant knew she would face a year in jail if she violated probation.”

[From Yahoo News]

Brown turned to her mother, who was in the courtroom, and burst into tears after being sentenced. Talk about too little too late. She’s one of those people who you can tell can only cry for herself. I don’t think that much of anything could humble Foxy Brown, considering her rap sheet, and the ways she’s historically freaked out on service people and others “below” her. Foxy is reportedly pregnant, so maybe giving birth in jail will be a start. Not the greatest start for the kid, no doubt, but if it somehow helps its mother become a human being, it might be worth it. According to many published reports, Brown turned down a plea deal offered by the prosecution, in which she would have only done 9 months. I can’t believe that she was so delusional to think a judge would give her less time than that. But she’s proven time and time again that she’s a crazed egomaniac, so logic probably didn’t enter into the equation. She’s above the rest of us, so of course she won’t really go to jail! Who knows what a year in jail will really do to someone like Foxy Brown, or how much time she’ll really spend, depending on good behavior and the notoriously overcrowded New York City jails. And she’ll likely get some special treatment, between the celebrity and supposed pregnancy. But there’s still a teeny, tiny chance that this will help her see the error of her ways and at least lose a bit of the attitude. I just hope they make her scrub toilets like Lindsay Lohan.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image thanks to Prettyontheoutside.com. Image below is from 7/20/06 thanks to PRPhotos.

Who the hell has R Kelly paid off, and how much did it take? There is no way any person with 1/39483rd of a brain would believe that yet another delay has happened for a good, legally justifiable reason. The man who has been waiting for trial for over five years now (imagine how many delays have contributed to that… I’m not even going to count, it makes me so mad) has been granted yet another delay because the lead prosecutor of his case had a baby. Now that fact, in and of itself, makes sense. I mean you don’t pop out a 7 pound creature and just waltz back to work. But generally, babies are something people plan and predict. They’ve had nine months to either work around the birth, or postpone the trial ahead of time, so it at least looks legitimate. But did the judge do that? No, he acted like the baby was a total surprise, and postponed the case just two weeks before it was set to finally go to trial. I will officially now state that, in my opinion, Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan has been bribed. Gasp. Five years is bullshit, and everything about this trial is bullshit. Most of the other delays were bullshit, but a freaking baby? This was a condition he was likely aware of for a least a few months – why postpone now!?! I am livid, absolutely livid. Please be livid with me.

“In a case that has been a saga of delays and false starts, R. Kelly’s trial was postponed yet again on Tuesday, with no trial date in sight more than five years after child pornography charges were filed against the R&B singer. The lead prosecutor in the case, Assistant State’s Atty. Shauna Boliker, gave birth last week, prompting the judge presiding over the case to indefinitely postpone the trial less than two weeks before its scheduled start on Sept. 17.

“A spokesman for Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan cited doctor’s orders in announcing the decision, a move that has added a familiar air of uncertainty to the case. This was the closest that the trial had come to starting. But it was no secret that Boliker was scheduled to deliver a baby last week, which had led to speculation at the courthouse that the Sept. 17 date was unrealistic.

“Kelly, 40, was indicted in June 2002 on child pornography charges. Officials say he videotaped himself having sex with a girl whom prosecutors say may have been as young as 13. In the more than five years since he was charged, Kelly’s career and popularity have soared. He has produced several hit CDs, gone on tour and recently released the latest installments of his highly successful video serial ‘Trapped in the Closet.’

“Gaughan has issued a gag order that bars the prosecution and the defense from talking about the case. The snail’s pace of the criminal case against Kelly may shake some people’s confidence in the ability of the courts to deal efficiently with cases involving wealthy defendants, legal experts said.”

[From Metromix]

I really am both red and blue in the face right now. If I were the type to have bulging veins and flared nostrils when upset, I’d look like a bull at the moment. How is this possible? How is this not getting more media coverage? R. Kelly tapes himself having sex with a 13 or 14 year old girl, then gets to have six albums, some movies, and tour the country before he so much as sits in a defendant’s chair? Can money really buy your verdict? I don’t think this guy is just spending a lot of money for great, manipulative lawyers. I think he’s bribed someone, or multiple someones. But part of me thinks he hasn’t, because no one would be stupid enough to think they could delay a trial this long, and for such ridiculous reasons. Either there’s a lot of money changing hands, or the level of incompetence is absolutely through the roof. Either way, everyone involved should lose their jobs. I’m that mad.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s R. Kelly at BET’s 25th Anniversary Show. Images thanks to PR Photos.

I’m sorry for the plethora of Britney/K-Fed stories today. It’s a slow gossip day, but you can always count on these two as the mainstays of internet/tabloid gossip. Anyway, it really doesn’t make sense that we’re seeing and hearing so much about Britney Spears’ crazy escapades and no one is pointing out all of K-Fed’s sordid past anymore. Seems the public has a very short memory [and I include myself, I haven’t been good about mentioning all of his partying, drug-using, douche-bagging ways]. So while I’m not at all on Team Britney, I think it’s only fair that K- hold himself to a decent standard in terms of personal behavior, and it’s good she’s hired a private investigator to get the dirt on K-Fed. Considering he’s using Israeli commandos, it’s safe to say he’s got a few PIs on Britney too.

“Britney Spears has reportedly hired a hotshot California private investigator to monitor her ex-husband as the couple begins its child custody battle.

“As Kevin Federline’s legal team builds its case by serving Spears’ friends and her aides with subpoenas to testify in the custody trial, Spears has commissioned Lisa Javoric to dig up dirt on her ex.

“Investigators from Javoric’s offices recently hit Las Vegas to watch Federline’s every move – as the rapper/dancer partied.

“In Touch Weekly reports, ‘The detective watched him intently as Kevin partied in public areas of the hotel. He made a note of everyone who went into his suite.’

“Spears hopes the information her investigator gathers will help her discredit Federline and win her full custody of sons Sean Preston and Jayden James.”

[From Starpulse]

K-Fed needs to be able to stand up to the same scrutiny he’s putting Britney under. It’s so hard to write about these two, because they both have such sketchy behavior. K-Fed’s was well documented in the past, and Britney’s is well documented in the present. But I don’t think he’s suddenly become a model citizen – he’s just become much less flamboyant and much more private. Which at least shows he has more common sense than Britney. But when you think back to all the terrible, jerkish stuff that was written about Federline, it really is sad to realize that he’s likely still a jerk, just a more private one, and all of this stuff about wanting what’s best for their kids could really just be about money for both of them.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Britney out shopping on Wednesday – sorry for the old images, Brit hasn’t done much lately. Header image of K-Fed partying at Tao last week.

K-Fed has gone all “I’m a good dad, I’m going to show everyone you’re crazy” on us, and that’s okay as long as it’s true. But he’s super hardcore about punishing and humiliating Britney Spears legally. I guess that’s okay if there’s truth behind all the accusation flying about, and it’s not some massive blindfold put on us by his attack dog lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. But not only does K-Fed want to serve all of Britney’s friends, employees, and business associates with Israeli-commando delivered subpoenas, but he wants Britney to pay for him to do it to her.

“Kevin Federline’s lawyer wants Britney Spears to pay some of her ex-husband’s legal expenses in their divorce case, court documents show.

“Attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said in an Aug. 26 declaration that Federline has ‘no net income’ after various expenses, and that his spousal support of $20,000 a month ends in November. Spears, meanwhile, brings in an average monthly income of $737,868.

“Spears is ‘clearly the ‘monied party’ in the dispute and should pay $50,000 for Federline’s litigation expenses, Kaplan argued.

[From the Washington Post]

K-Fed should probably work on getting some of his own income, since his spousal support is ending in two months. I didn’t realize it would be so soon – and that definitely raises a small cloud of suspicion over his real motivations. This makes it sound like I’m on Britney’s team, which I’m not, but it is a super slap in the face if she’d have to pay for K-Fed’s lawyers that are working to legally humiliate her. Though she certainly manages to publicly humiliate herself all on her own.

K-Fed’s commandos FINALLY managed to find and serve Britney’s former manager, Larry Rudolph. Rudolph admitted that he was in hiding to avoid being served, and had been in New York City for quite a while. Apparently he must have some very damming testimony regarding Britney’s mental health of childcare skills if he flew to the other coast. Though he and Britney aren’t working together (and she’s blamed him for being forced into rehab, after which she fired him from his job as her manager … and fired her mom from her job as her mother) he supposedly doesn’t want to testify against her or do anything that would make life worse for her either.

“While Spears’ career Svengali told E! News anchor Ryan Seacrest earlier this week that he had spent the past few weeks on the run from Federline’s process server, his incognito skills are either sorely lacking, or he gave up the game, finally getting slapped with the paperwork at the West Los Angeles branch of the Sunset Tan tanning salon Thursday morning.

“Over the weekend, Rudolph expressed his reticence at testifying in the case to Seacrest, saying he wished to remain loyal to the tabloid trainwreck despite his rocky professional relationship with the singer, with whom he has twice parted ways. He told Seacrest that, should he be made to testify, it “won’t be good for Britney.”

“In a statement issued to That Other Blog later in the week, Rudolph said he didn’t take personally some of Spears’ comments directed at him in the media, namely that forcing her into rehab was Rudolph’s brainchild, saying, “I understand where she’s coming from.”

“Rudolph also said that despite her recent, and intense, downward spiral in the public eye, ;my loyalty will always stay strong with Britney…I do understand that eventually the time will come when they will find me, but until then, I’m trying to avoid being brought into this mess.’”

[From E! News]

Larry Rudolph is a pretty nice guy for staying loyal to Britney, and deserves her speaking better about him. What’s ultimately best for Sean Preston and Jayden James is the truth, no matter what. If Rudolph does have some particularly damming evidence, it should come out.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Larry Rudolph with Brit in February in NYC. Header image of K-fed in Times Square earning his bling promoting Virgin Mobile. Images thanks to PR Photos.

When I first wrote about Hulk Hogan’s son’s car crash the other day, I was sorta cranky and unsympathetic. Mostly because the kid seemed like a moron who reported missing jewelry as stolen to the police and had three tickets for extreme speeding in under a year. I was pretty sure I’d eat crow for it, but it turns out I was right, Nick Bollea (Hogan’s real last name) is a complete moron who’s seriously endangered other people’s lives on several occasions. Multiple witnesses report that – on the night of his fateful, massive car crash that left passenger John J. Graziano in critical condition at the hospital – Bollea was racing a silver Dodge Viper on State Route 60, a main drag through downtown Clearwater, Florida – early in the evening. I’m not saying racing is ever okay (it seems to often lead to injuries and death) but generally even the people moronic enough to race on public streets do it in the middle of the night, not 7:30 in the evening.

“A woman said Hulk Hogan’s son was racing another car moments before he lost control of his vehicle and crashed into a tree, critically injuring his passenger. Frances Vitalis, a registered nurse from Plant City, said she saw 17-year-old Nick Bollea’s Toyota Supra smash into a median and spin into a palm tree Sunday night. She said the Supra and a Dodge Viper were revving their engines and racing between traffic signals before the crash.

“‘We knew something was going to happen,’ said Vitalis, who was riding a motorcycle with a friend behind the cars. ‘You know that this is a bad situation and these guys are hotdogging.’ Bollea’s attorney, J. Kevin Hayslett, declined to comment. Clearwater police spokesman Wayne Shelor also declined to comment on the witness accounts, citing an ongoing investigation. He said detectives have talked to ‘a number of eyewitnesses.’ Police so far have said only that excessive speed contributed to the crash.

“Shelor issued a statement Wednesday afternoon saying Hulk Hogan ‘was not driving a car beside or near the one his son, Nick, was driving when it crashed.’ Shelor said Hogan arrived at the scene minutes after the crash. Meanwhile, Bollea’s passenger, 22-year-old John J. Graziano of Dunedin, remained in critical condition at Bayfront Medical Center, a hospital spokeswoman said.”

[From the Washington Post]

I always thought “hotdogging” was the term used for stuffing a billion hot dogs in your mouth at one of those competitive eating competitions, but it turns out it’s something much, much less funny. I really hope there will be severe legal repercussions for this Nick. He’s clearly one of those morons that doesn’t understand how dangerous a car can be, and nothing short of their own injury will teach them otherwise. In the last twelve months, Nick has been cited four times for extreme speeding and has four points on his license as a result. He was clocked at 115 mph in a 70 mph zone, 106 mph in a 70 mph zone, 57 mph in a 30 mph zone, the most recent, on August 10th, 16 days before his massive accident, Bollea was clocked doing 82 mph in a 45 mph construction zone while workers were present. If he’s getting caught doing this four times in twelve months, can you imagine how often he actually speeds? The guy probably does 45 mph through the Burger King drive through. Let’s pray his bonehead parents love him enough to take away his license and don’t get him another car. And maybe handcuff him to the bed for a few days, just to give him a feeling for how much his life could suck if he messes up again.

Note by Celebitchy The latest news on the passenger in the car with Nick is that he is still in the hospital in critical condition. Nick’s friend John Graziano was a marine who served two tours of duty in Iraq, having returned last October to the states. Nick Hogan could get up to 15 years in jail if his friend ends up mortally injured and he was found to have been drinking or drag racing at the time of the accident.

Nick Hogan is shown in the header image looking unshaven on 10/23/06. He is seen with his family on 12/2/06 at the VH1 Big in ’06 awards. Thanks to PRPhotos.