Yesterday, CB and I made a little wager – a ten dollar bet on when Lindsay would set off her SCRAM bracelet/anklet. CB thought that Lindsay wouldn’t be wearing the SCRAM thing until today, so she bet that Lindsay would go out partying last night. My bet was that it would take 48 hours for Lindsay to set the damn thing off. Well, the bet wasn’t really fair, because Lindsay got fitted for the SCRAM yesterday, right after her court appearance. So she didn’t go out partying last night, but I have high hopes for tonight. By the way, did you know that she has to wear the SCRAM when she showers? Also, apparently it’s really, really easy to beat the SCRAM system – E! News has a piece about all of the various ways people can “fool” the monitor, including dunking your ankle in a bucket of ice while you drink, which seems like a bad idea, honestly.

Also – one of Lindsay’s complaints during yesterday’s hearings was that she wouldn’t be allowed to leave town. Linds protested that she had a film to do in Texas. Well, guess what cracked-out lie several outlets jumped on? Yep:

Lindsay Lohan made it clear to the court that she didn’t wanna wear a SCRAM bracelet because she thought it would get in the way of an upcoming movie shoot in Texas — problem is, no such shoot exists.

TMZ has contacted the producers of the only two motion picture projects Lindsay is currently attached to — “Machete” and “Inferno” — and they both made it very clear that LiLo has no business in Texas.

A rep for “Machete” tells us there ARE additional scenes being shot in Texas but, “according to the director, they don’t include [Lindsay].”

As for “Inferno,” a rep tells us, “The Linda Lovelace biopic doesn’t plan on starting shooting ’till the beginning of August.” Also, it’s not being shot in Texas — so the SCRAM bracelet would have no affect on that film either.

Lindsay’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, relayed Lohan’s excuse to Judge Marsha Revel on Monday — but the judge didn’t buy it anyway … and forced her to SCRAM it up.

[From TMZ]

What’s the bigger lie, that she had a job, or that the job was in Texas? At this point, Lindsay lives every day like it’s Opposite Day. Whatever comes out of her mouth is a lie, no matter if she’s refusing to admit she has alcohol and drug problems, to simple questions about her passport. Oh, LaineyGossip had a good piece about Lindsay yesterday, and Lainey (who was in Cannes) mentioned that she, nor any of the journalists she spoke to, had heard about Lindsay doing any kind of press for Inferno, that Linda Lovelace biopic that Lindsay was supposedly “promoting”. Lying crackhead liar.

Also – Jesus, look how f-cking dirty she is. She just looks like she never bathes.

Lindsay Lohan finally made it into court today for a long overdue hearing after “losing” her passport and being forced to party in Cannes for an additional few days. The “actress” recently gave a typically delusional interview in which she denied that she should go to rehab or jail, and cried that she would have to miss her brother’s graduation in order to attend a court date that needed to be rescheduled due to her own negligence. As part of the terms of remaining free after posting $100,000 bail, Lindsay is ordered not to drink alcohol and to wear a SCRAM alcohol monitoring bracelet to ensure that she complies. She’ll also have to submit to random drug testing. She’s still due to attend a hearing determining whether she violated the terms of her probation. That’s scheduled for July 6, and could result in six months jail time if she’s found guilty.

Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to refrain from drinking or doing drugs … and if she dares to try she could end up behind bars.

Judge Marsha Revel laid down the law during a hearing this AM in Beverly Hills court. Judge Revel told Lindsay in order to stay free on bail, she cannot drink alcohol, she must wear a SCRAM device and she must submit to random drug testing.

Lindsay must begin wearing the SCRAM bracelet within 24 hours.

Lindsay must also attend all scheduled alcohol ed classes at least once a week.

Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, began to object to the conditions, but when the judge said she would state out loud all the reasons why the conditions were appropriate — Holley backed off and accepted the conditions.

And the judge indicated Lindsay must stay in the L.A. area — which will get in the way of shooting a movie in Texas. The judge basically said, tough luck.

Mind you … the conditions the judge imposed must be met in order for Lindsay to remain free on bail. The judge is also scheduling a hearing to determine if Lindsay has violated her probation — the date for the hearing is July 6.

If the judge decides Lindsay violated her probation by not attending her alcohol ed program as required … she could be jailed for 180 days.

[From TMZ]

Do you think Lindsay is going to make it a whole six weeks without doing drugs or taking a drink? I doubt it. Maybe she’ll wind up in jail and detoxing in much harsher conditions than she could ever imagine. If there is anyone who is still looking out for her, and if they still have the cash to do so, they’ll get her into rehab now before she ends up locked up for months. Almost everyone left around her except her creepy dad is in denial, though. There are rumors that Lindsay’s mom has reached out to her ex girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, to help. That’s a start and suggests that the situation is starting to dawn on Dina. I forsee Lindsay throwing another drink in Sam’s face before she goes to rehab. And then her little ankle bracelet will start beeping and she’ll be hauled off to the slammer, the whole thing being Sam’s fault for making her throw the drink.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Lindsay Lohan is back home in LA, at last. Her court hearing is today, so we should have news about that later on. Her judge even pushed back her vacation just so she could hear Lindsay’s case, so that seems good, like Lindsay is dealing with someone who is fed up with her crackhead shenanigans. Before Lindsay sits down with the prosecutor and the judge (and throws drinks in their faces, just a guess), she sat down for another budget interview with Hollywood TV. They asked her about that now-infamous cocaine photo (above). Previously, Lindsay’s explanation was “That’s a set up that’s so untrue.” Now her explanation is something about going to this room and being stopped by this couple and they were fans and she didn’t look around the room and it’s none of her business. Something like that.

She also denies doing drugs (“No… no.”) and she thinks she’s in compliance with her probation. Oh, and according to Lindsay, “the only person” who is suggesting she should be in jail is her father. Sure… except for all of us in the cheap seats who are afraid that one of these days she’s going to be so f-cking out of her mind on drugs, she’s going to end up killing somebody. Also: Her passport was “stolen” out of her room, along with some jewelry. Of course. My guess? The jewelry was “borrowed” and Lindsay didn’t want to return it, so now it’s “stolen”. As in, she stole the sh-t.

When asked why she was partying in Cannes, Lindsay says: “I wasn’t partying in Cannes. I was there for work. I was there promoting a film. I’ve been focusing on my work and getting my classes done, therefore, you know just to be able to start to film again so I can have this all put behind me. And that’s been my goal for a very long time now. I got into this because I enjoy acting not because I enjoy going to court and having to deal with certain things like this.” Regarding rehab, Lindsay says: “I don’t see why I’d even have to do that (go into rehab). I don’t see why that would even be a question.” Of course not.

Oh, by the way – most sources have Lindsay knocking back wine on the plane from Cannes to LA. According to the NYDN: “After partying until the early hours of Saturday morning in Cannes, France, the troubled star boarded a British Airways flight to London Saturday, where she was spotted knocking back red wine.” Of course.

Lindsay Lohan in Cannes on May 21, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Here is that photo of Lindsay with the lines of cocaine, courtesy of TMZ. This came out on Friday, as news broke that Lindsay had somehow found $10,000 for her bond (it was 10% of the $100,000 bail ordered by the court). When Radar showed this TMZ photo to Lindsay… well, here is how Radar reported it:

When reached by RadarOnline.com and asked to tell us what the white powder is, Lindsay at first replied: “What!??”

RadarOnline.com directed her to look at the photo and the white powder on the table in front of her.

Lindsay then told RadarOnline.com: “That’s a set up that’s so untrue.”

She is with friends in the photo and named a person who she thinks set her up (RadarOnline.com is withholding the name.) She also said in an email exchange with RadarOnline.com that she didn’t know the powder was on the table.

[From Radar]

I would pay actual money to see that f-cking email exchange. Radar is probably holding on to it for a later date, to be used against her when she does something else asinine. What’s particularly shocking to me is that Lindsay didn’t find a way to blame her daddy for the cocaine. She already blamed him for hiring someone to take her passport. Ah, to be a delusional crackhead… everyone is always out to get you and it’s never your fault.

When Radar showed the photo to Lindsay’s prosecutor, Danette Meyers, Meyers said: “I hope that isn’t cocaine in those pictures.” However, TMZ reports that a spokesperson for the LA County DA’s office says that they wouldn’t be able to use the photo against Lindsay because there’s no way to verify what is on the table.

Lindsay’s lawyer also got into it with TMZ, telling them that the judge, Judge Marsha Revel isn’t reading their little site: “I do not believe that Judge Revel reads TMZ or any other ‘celebrity’ news and she would never be influenced by something which is NOT evidence in the case. It is difficult for Lindsay to get a fair shake because her every move is chronicled by TMZ and others. This creates an unavoidable frenzy around her case and subjects her to a level of scrutiny which non-celebrities do not have to face.” FYI: Your client’s “celebrity” for the last four years has consisted of being a punchline to a joke about crackheads.

Also – Lindsay is apparently do back in LA today, Saturday. Radar has photos of her leaving Cannes, allegedly. It looks like she’s just partying as usual, but whatever. Sure. She’s “leaving”.

Lastly, Dina gave an extensive and incomprehensively stupid interview to Radar talking about all the sh-t that went down this week:

In a shocking admission, Dina Lohan told RadarOnline.com that her daughter Lindsay was told not to come home from Cannes – even though she had a new passport — until her bench warrant was rescinded.

“We did what we had to do to protect her,” Dina said. It’s a statement that may not be looked at favorably by the judge and prosecutor handling Lindsay’s probation violation case.

In a wide-ranging interview that was aired live on RadarOnline.com, Dina also claimed that Lindsay is getting tougher justice because she is a celebrity and that the judge “wasn’t quite fair,” according to Lindsay’s attorney. Before admitting that Lindsay was told not to come home, even though she had a new passport, Dina insisted that her daughter’s passport had indeed been stolen. Dina told RadarOnline.com: “Unfortunately Lindsay just called me a little bit ago very upset. It’s not her fault her passport was stolen. It was stolen. We have proof that that was to happen. She knows she was compliant with the classes.”

But when pinned down by RadarOnline.com reporter Katie Rhames, Dina admitted that Lindsay did not come home after getting a new passport – and instead was told to stay out of the country while there was a warrant out for her arrest.

“We did that for court purposes and the warrant purposes” Dina admitted during an exclusive live webcast on RadarOnline.com late Friday afternoon PDT. “To clear all that up before she hits American soil, which we have done, so she is now able to come. There was no music to face. We were dealing with issues to get her back safely — without an arrest and vacate the warrant. And that takes time, that doesn’t happen overnight. There are a lot of phone calls, a lot of people involved and a lot of decisions being made. So we did what we had to do to protect her.”

When pressed by RadarOnline.com about who told Lindsay not to come home, even though she had a passport, Dina said: “We were dealing with the attorneys. We have a criminal attorney that pretty much tells us which direction to go.”

Lindsay’s attorney Shawn Chapman Holley later responded to that statement by telling RadarOnline.com: “I left court, I spoke with Lindsay and told her that I would be making arrangements for bail to be posted so that she would not be arrested upon return to Los Angeles.”

In the live interview with RadarOnline.com, Dina said that Lindsay “is committed, is serious; she will be there and she will make up the classes, we’re obviously going to do that the minute she lands.”

Dina also said that Lindsay may go to alcohol education class on Sunday—and only has two weeks left of those classes. RadarOnline.com broke the news to Dina that Judge Marsha Revel postponed her vacation to oversee the case Monday morning instead of letting a replacement judge handle it. Dina says the media circus “put the judge under spotlight and she has to be very cautious and the world is watching her, so she has to be obviously fair. But my attorney said she wasn’t quite fair and didn’t want to hear anything about her stolen passport.”

Dina said Lindsay has proof that her passport was stolen. Dina says she emailed a copy of the passport to Lindsay, but it wasn’t good enough for authorities. “We have police reports, we have tickets,” she said referring to airline tickets that were booked for Lindsay’s return to LA. Dina also says her daughter is getting tougher justice because she is a celebrity. “The judge is making an example out of her because of her celebrity status, which I don’t think is fair.”

Dina sidestepped questions about whether her daughter should go to rehab by saying “We’re going to weigh all the facts and see what would be the best outcome for Lindsay. Until I know what they’re (the court) offering, I can’t make that judgment call.”

Dina asked the public to respect the family saying “Just pray hard for us and her. And just lighten up. Get Off her back. Leave us alone.” The conversation ended abruptly when Dina was advised not to answer any more questions.

[From Radar]

Dina, for the love of God, shut up. You are not helping Lindsay. And it’s not like Dina is doing a tough-love move either, Dina is literally so f-cking stupid and so wrapped up in enabling Lindsay’s crackhead shenanigans that Dina is in fact making everything worse. Every f-cking media outlet knows that Lindsay didn’t lose her passport. We’ve established that. Why keep talking about it and trying to figure out some cracked-out reasoning to the contrary? Why sit there and say matter-of-factly that you didn’t want Lindsay to come home while there was a warrant out on her? This f-cking family.

Cocaine photo courtesy of TMZ. Additional photos of Lindsay in Cannes on May 20, credit: Pacific Coast News. Also, Lindsay in Cannes on May 22, 2010, credit: Spread/Fame.

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers managed to pay 10% of her $100,000 bail, so Lindsay will not be met by the cops as soon as she steps crack-foot on Los Angeles County soil. That was enough for the judge to recall the warrant out on Lindsay. So… not Lohan in handcuffs. Yet. Because I think it is coming at some point, at least I hope so. Meanwhile, Lindsay is still in Cannes, partying her ass off – TMZ has photos here. Although – some sources have Lindsay coming back to LA as early as today, touchdown in LA at some point early evening. Who knows?

Lindsay Lohan will not be in handcuffs just yet. The actress has posted the standard 10% of her bail, leading the judge to recall the warrant she placed on the actress Thursday morning, RadarOnline.com has learned.

Earlier in the day, Judge Marsha Revel was incensed by the actress’ absence in court, issuing an arrest warrant and setting a bail for $100,000. Lohan’s team paid $10,000 to cover the bond.

“I warned her before, she knew it was very serious,” Judge Revel said before issuing an arrest warrant.

Revel also ordered Lohan to wear a SCRAM bracelet to detect alcohol use (which the judge banned) and mandated that Lohan submit to random drug testing.

“She has been late to court before,” a frustrated Revel said as the proceeding unfolded. She also pointed out that Lindsay “had two charges of being under the influence of cocaine.”

Her dad Michael Lohan spoke to RadarOnline.com exclusively after the hearing. “I’m fed up with her lies, I’m fed up with her denial,” Michael said.

“To say her passport was stolen, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back “She’s gonna get the book thrown at her.”

Michael believes too many people in Lindsay’s life are enabling destructive behavior. “I think she’s in denial. I think she’s overlooking what the root of the problem really is,” Michael added. “It’s heartbreaking.”

[From Radar]

God, I wanted her in jail. There should be a higher cost to standing up a judge and lying to everyone about your “stolen” passport. Oh, and in case you missed yesterday’s update, Lindsay is claiming that her father arranged for her passport to be stolen while she was in Cannes. Even though she never reported it stolen or applied for a temp passport when she said she did. Anyway, Michael’s lawyer told E! News: “He doesn’t know anything about her passport.” Oh, right, sure! Way to call your crackhead daughter out on her narcissistic, delusional lies.

Lindsay Lohan in Cannes on May 16, 2010. Credit: WENN.

I know, I know, twenty million things happened with our resident crackhead while I was eating lunch. I was watching CNN and I was all “Damn, I should be writing about this.” And then I continued to eat my ruffled potato chips. Well, we covered a lot of what was happening before Lindsay’s scheduled court date today – to review, might I suggest “Lindsay Lohan is like the Roman Polanski of crackhead fugitives”. Now, for the current information:

A judge just issued a bench warrant for Lindsay Lohan’s arrest, after she failed to show up in court this morning … and the judge says she has reason to believe Lindsay has a drug and alcohol problem.

Judge Marsha Revel was tough as nails this morning, scoffing at the notion that Lindsay’s “someone-stole-my-passport” excuse was a justification for missing court. Judge Revel set bail at $100,000 and said Lindsay can post bail and remain free until the next court hearing, IF she does the following:

- drink no alcohol
- wear a SCRAM bracelet
- submit to random drug testing at least once a week

Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, told the judge the story TMZ broke — that Lindsay claimed her passport was stolen and she tried getting on a flight to make it on time but was turned away. At one point Holley said, “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

But the judge didn’t buy Lindsay’s argument, saying “Actions speak louder than words.” The judge felt Lindsay could have gotten a replacement passport and made it back on time. And, the judge said Lindsay had “a history of not keeping scheduled appointments.”

Holley said there was no reason to require drug testing, but the judge noted that Lindsay was charged in 2007 with being under the influence of cocaine.

Judge Revel said Lindsay knew she was going to jail if she violated probation and knew she needed to get court approval before missing her alcohol ed classes. After the hearing Holley acknowledged what TMZ first told you … that Lindsay has only completed 10 of the required 13 classes.

The judge said there is probable cause to believe Lindsay has violated her probation. If the judge determines Lindsay did indeed violate probation she could be jailed for 180 days.

[From TMZ]

Yes, apparently no one is buying this “lost passport” story. The prosecutor is even asking for Lindsay to provide proof of a plane ticket – HA. Meanwhile, Lindsay was out parting again last night in Cannes, and Dina Lohan says Lindsay now has a temp passport. I wonder if she got it from the French embassy? Let’s see if Lindsay remains in Cannes, partying her crackface off. Oh, and Michael Lohan was there too, and his lawyer gave a press conference about Lindsay shouldn’t go to jail, she should go to rehab. Personally, I think jail would be an excellent rehab.

UPDATE: TMZ’s sources say that U.S. Customs and Border Protection will detain Lindsay as soon as she steps onto American soil. Either the LA Airport polic or the LAPD will be taking Lindsay into custody, if and when she flies back.

ALSO: Just in case anyone around here was keeping track of Lindsay’s crackhead lies, the French police say that she never reported the theft of her passport. Oh, and Lindsay gave an interview to Us Weekly saying that her dad arranged for someone to steal her passport. She wrote in an email to Us Weekly: “I always said my father had someone do it.” Because when you’re a crackhead, it’s always someone else’s fault.

Yesterday, I tried to sum up all of the sketchy, cracked out excuses Lindsay Lohan was making for her inability to fly back to Los Angeles to face her court date, which is today. Her lawyer claimed that Lindsay had lost her passport, and that they were trying to get some kind of emergency temp passport from the American embassy. Dina Lohan went to Radar and threw herself a little pity party because there wasn’t “someone in a higher echelon to help us” at the French embassy. Uh… French embassy? That would be necessary if a French citizen was caught in America. Not an American citizen caught in France. Ugh, Dina, f-ck your damn lies. Anyway, as predictable as this sounds, it turns out that the Lohans got caught out on their bullsh-t quick. Radar is reporting that according to the duty officer at the U.S. Embassy in France, Lindsay has not applied for a new passport.

Lindsay Lohan has not requested a new passport and may be stuck in France for a little while longer, RadarOnline.com has exclusively confirmed. Maryse Nebatti, the Duty Officer in Marseille for the U.S. Embassy in France, told RadarOnline.com that Lindsay reported the passport stolen but “has not requested a new passport.”

The embassy office in Marseille is the closest location to Lindsay who has been in Cannes promoting her latest role as porn star Linda Lovelace.

Lindsay’s mother Dina told RadarOnline.com that her passport was stolen and she was turned away from a flight back to the United States on Tuesday.

“This was not a planned scheme,” she said.

The U.S. Embassy confirmed that Lindsay faxed a copy of her passport to their Paris embassy but has not specifically requested a new one. According to the Duty Officer, neither Lindsay nor her mother Dina have contacted the Embassy, but a representative of hers from the United States phoned the Embassy in Paris at 6:25pm local time.

The Embassy closed at 6pm local time but the representative spoke to an after hours staffer.

Nabatti told RadarOnline.com that even though she has not received a request for the new passport, she has contacted the Consul to alert them of Lindsay’s situation.

“There is nothing we can do this late,” Nabatti told RadarOnline.com.

According to the Embassy, Lindsay needs to fill out the paperwork to get a temporary passport. That paperwork cannot be obtained until Thursday morning. Danette Meyers, the Deputy District Attorney in Los Angeles who is handling Lindsay’s case, told RadarOnline.com that she will seek to jail Lindsay for up to 180 if she is found to be in violation of her probation. Lindsay’s mother Dina insisted this was not an excuse for Lindsay to get out of the court hearing on Thursday in Los Angeles.

“I’m exhausted… I’ve been up for the last 24 hours with Lindsay and her attorneys dealing with this,” she told RadarOnline.com earlier on Wednesday. “We are actively dealing with the French Embassy as we speak but unfortunately they close at a certain hour so we¹re trying to get someone in a higher echelon to help us.”

[From Radar]

Jesus, what cracked out drama. And for what? Because Lindsay wanted to party in France. Because she wanted to f-ck Dominic Cooper and pose on red carpets and do the heavier French drugs. And because she doesn’t give a sh-t about court appearances or even doing the very bare minimum to see that she doesn’t go to jail. Well, she’s still “stuck” in France. So she’s going to jail.

By the way, LaineyGossip did a really great, epic post about Lohan Drama yesterday and she pointed out several two points. One: “They were floating around the excuse that she might not make it due to volcanic ash. Please. The ash is only affecting flights to the UK. France to Germany and then connecting to North America – at press time – is fine…. She’s here because she’s an asshole.” Second point: “On the advance tip sheet for a party happening tomorrow night, her name was ON IT. So if she was supposed to be back in LA, how come someone told the party organizers that she’d be showing up?” Because Lindsay’s plan was to have a cracked out adventure in France all along. Wouldn’t it be awesome if she stayed there, a la Roman Polanski? Like, she would be a cracked-out fugitive from justice.

By the way, I’m doing these close-ups of her so you can see how f-cking dirty her skunky crackface is. Look at her filthy face! How do her ears get that nasty?

Lindsay Lohan in Cannes on May 17, 2010. Credit: WENN & ANG/Fame.

I’m starting to wonder if Amanda Seyfried reads this site. Because she started taking my advice… weird. Anyway, a source told Us Weekly that Amanda and her English boyfriend Dominic Cooper are “on a break”. Conveniently, this information comes less than 24 hours after news broke of Dominic’s (not so alleged) hookup with Lindsay Lohan. E! News carried that story yesterday, but LaineyGossip also had a more in-depth eyewitness account of what was going on between Cooper and Lohan, and yes, it sounds like they were f-cking. Still, this convenient source claims that the “break” is drama-free:

Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper are “on a break,” a source tells UsMagazine.com.

The couple — who began dating about three years ago — have not officially split.

“They have been on and off for a long time,” the source tells Us. “Right now, they are taking some space from each other.”

“They still talk all the time and are trying to work things out,” continues the source. “They are still very good friends.”

Cooper partied with Lindsay Lohan until 5 a.m. Wednesday morning at a Belvedere party at club LeBaron in Cannes. A witness told Us, “It definitely looked like something was going on between them.”

But the source insists, “There is no drama. They are just on a break.”

Seyfried, 24, recently told Teen Vogue she wasn’t sure if Cooper was “The One.”

“Too much planning can lead to heartbreak,” she says. “Love is great and possible always, but it’s very rare to have the feeling that ‘I want to be with this person forever.’”

[From Us Weekly]

It could totally be that they split a few weeks ago, although it was less than a month ago when Dominic came to New York to walk a red carpet with Amanda and pose for some “candid” shots around New York. However, Amanda has been sounding a little bit over her relationship with Dominic, especially during the Letters to Juliet promotion. Also – the Lindsay Lohan drama is not Dominic’s first rumored cheating – he also was allegedly boning some actress/model type last year.

Lindsay Lohan is having one hell of a cracked out adventure in Cannes. She’s going to parties, walking red carpets in a torn dress, falling down, getting sh-tfaced, carrying around straws and being a general mess. This could be her last gasp before she goes to jail – but I’ll get to that in a moment. First, I want to give you some of my favorite Lindsay Lohan gossip of the past month. According to E! News, Blohan was partying with Dominic Cooper, otherwise known as Amanda Seyfried’s cheating boyfriend. E! News won’t say whether Dominic and Lindsay hooked up, only that they were dancing and being “coy”. Yeah… they’re totally getting high and f-cking:

Tomorrow Lindsay Lohan is due in a Los Angeles courtroom, where a judge could toss her into jail. But she didn’t let a little thing like that—or any allegiance to Mean Girls costar Amanda Seyfried—spoil her fun at the Cannes Film Festival last night.

Here’s what went down.

Lohan and her entourage turned up at the Belvedere party and immediately parked themselves next to the stage, where Grace Jones was due to perform. Among those in Lohan’s group was Seyfried’s boyfriend, Dominic Cooper.

“They were having fun, partying,” an eyewitness tells E! News. “Lindsay was dancing.”

Cooper is in town to hype his latest film Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick Letters to Juliet. At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.

“They were being coy with each other,” the clubgoer says. “Not really touchy, but flirty. After Grace’s performance they sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out.”

But the good vibes didn’t last—at least for all the attendees.

British singer-model Sarah Harding, a member of the group Girls Aloud, had been at the club before Lohan & Co. arrived.

“For no apparent reason, Lindsay’s bodyguard asked Sarah to leave the table,” the party insider says. “Sarah got upset, but Lindsay’s bodyguard made her leave the table. Sarah was causing a stir, yelling, asking why, but it really wasn’t clear why it happened.”

Hmmm…booting fellow celebs. Flirting with a costar’s guy. We have an idea why. Maybe she’s just one Mean Girl, after all.

[From E! News]

If Dominic is boning Lindsay (which I think he probably is), then Amanda needs to get over his ass really quickly. None of this Jessica Alba-Cash Warren sh-t. Because Lohan has become what Paris Hilton was (and still is): the Typhoid Mary of Career-Killers. As in, as soon as you party/f-ck/do drugs with Lohan, you’re over and done. Your career will never survive.

Now, back to Lindsay and jail. TMZ is reporting that Lindsay tried to leave Cannes and fly back to LA for her court date yesterday, but was denied entry on the plane because… she didn’t have a passport. TMZ’s sources say “Lindsay has made an appointment with the U.S. Embassy tomorrow at 9 AM to get another passport so she can fly home.” Lindsay’s lawyer (one of them, in any case) says: “I was on the phone with Lindsay’s assistant the entire night and we’re doing everything we can to resolve this issue and get her back to L.A. Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes today and appear in court tomorrow.” Right. Because she just had to go to Cannes, right? It was so important, and whoopsie, I lost my passport so now I have to stay and party even longer!!! I’m just a milkaholic, guys!!!

Meanwhile, Judge Marsha Revel says she will issue a warrant for Lindsay if Linds doesn’t show up tomorrow morning. And her prosecutor thinks she should get 180-days in jail because Lindsay is not actually in full compliance with her probation. According to TMZ: “Lindsay has not attended all of her alcohol ed classes — she has been to 10 classes and needs 13 for full compliance. In addition, Lindsay has not attended all of the classes in 7 day intervals, as the judge required. An official from the alcohol ed program has sent a report to the judge saying Lindsay is in compliance with the terms of the program. The report does not address the fact that she has not attended all of the required classes.”

Header: Lindsay on May 16, 2010 in Cannes. Credit: WENN.

*This is Lindsay with Indrani (or the back of her head)*

A somewhat famous photographer is claiming that she’s having an affair with Lindsay Lohan. The photographer’s name is Indrani, and she’s one half of the photographer-duo known as “Klinko & Indrani”. They’ve photographed everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Dita von Teese, to Lady Gaga and Anne Hathaway. Klinko is Markus Klinko, a dude. Andrani is a 35-year-old woman who is claiming that she’s in a relationship with Lindsay, perhaps Lindsay’s second lesbian relationship after Samantha Ronson. For a photo of Indrani and Lohan together, go to the NYP. Here’s a photo of Indrani on the red carpet:

Lindsay Lohan has a new, cougar lesbian lover — stunning photographer and reality-show star Indrani. Lohan, 23, who previously dated deejay Samantha Ronson, has been secretly seeing Indrani, 36 — half of the respected lens duo of Markus Klinko and Indrani — since the women worked together on a photo shoot last fall.

Sources say Lohan and Indrani, also known as Julia I. Pal-Chaudhuri, have been on a series of dates in LA and recently spent the night at Lohan’s hotel.

Indrani told The Post, “We have been spending a lot of time together. I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot. Lindsay gets a lot of bad press, but she’s a really strong, creative woman and is trying really hard to get her life in a good, positive place.”

Klinko said the pair are good for each other.

“Lindsay and Indrani have been seeing each other since we shot her last fall,” he said. “I’ve seen them on dates, I have seen them making out . . . Indrani is a good influence on Lindsay. She is the opposite of a party girl — a Princeton graduate, she’s into art and is a philanthropist — not what you’d expect the typical girl for Lindsay to go out with. When they are together, they talk about art and the deeper meaning in life.”

[From The New York Post]

Oh, by the way, Indrani and Klinko have a new Bravo show they’re promoting! What a strange coincidence, right? The show is called Double Exposure. I wonder if rumors that one of the reality stars is getting hot and heavy with Lohan will help promote the show, which premieres June 15? Hm?

In truth, though, I could see it happening. I don’t really think it’s a real relationship, just because I don’t really see Lindsay doing the commitment thing while she’s so f-cked up. I mean, God knows how many people she’s bringing back to her hotel room for sex/drugs.

UPDATE: When Us Weekly‘s fearless investigative reporter lifted Lindsay Lohan’s skunky crackface off of the crotch of the dude she had passed out on at 5 a.m. this morning, Lindsay denied that she was or is dating Indrani: “No, no, no… In NO way am I dating her.” Now we know!

All of these are photos below are of Lindsay photographed by Klinko/Indrani, by the way. Photos courtesy of Trend Hunter.