Well I think we all know whose side the Daily News is on in the Lohan family debate of which parents sucks more. Rush & Malloy calls Michael Lohan’s accusations against ex-wife Dina Lohan “heartbreaking,” and says that Michael has “reformed his life” after his stint in prison, and notes with attempted-kudos that Michael is now a counselor. All that said, it’s nearly impossible to pick who is the lesser of two evils between the nutball parents; the Daily News may have it right.

Michael is taking Dina back to court, saying she’s preventing him from seeing his two youngest kids, Ali, 14, and Cody, 11. He also alleges that Dina keeps him from his older children Lindsay and Michael Jr. – though both of them are over 18, so Dina can’t actually prevent them from seeing their dad, and the court can’t force them to. Michael says Dina’s shown up for therapy session drunk and hung-over, and has basically been a controlling bitch just for the sake of being one.

Dina Lohan had better show up in Family Court this morning in Old Westbury; she faces “immediate arrest and imprisonment” if she doesn’t.

In scathing court documents, Michael charges his ex-wife with drunkenness in the presence of the kids. He claims that Dina failed 15 of 29 times to bring the younger children to judge-ordered visits with him, supervised by a therapist. But on April 8, the father charges, Dina “arrived toward the end of the therapy session in a completely inebriated and erratic state.”

Dina had been “at the beauty parlor in anticipation of her impending trip to Las Vegas” for the show, Michael says in the heartbreaking papers, “and I attended the session with the children as scheduled. During the session, Ali requested that I watch her puppy while she was away, which I happily agreed to do. Ali called [Dina] to eagerly relay my consent. [Dina], clearly intoxicated, became irate. Without reason, she told Ali that I could not watch the puppy and that it had to stay in a kennel.”

[From the Daily News]

Michael also goes on to say that Dina sees herself as her daughters’ manager first, their friend second, and a mother last. And frankly, while I generally say Michael Lohan can blow what he has to say out his ass, he’s right in this case.

On April 15, Dina was “exhausted” as she sat in the waiting room with the children, Michael claims in the documents. “I later discovered that [her] exhaustion stemmed from the fact that she was hung over. She apparently had spent the prior evening binge-drinking at various nightclubs until the wee hours of the morning. … She was spotted completely inebriated.”

As Lindsay makes for more tabloid fodder with her relationship with Samantha Ronson, Michael accuses Dina of using the singer/actress - and now, Ali - for her own fame and fortune. “When it comes to our daughters, [Dina] has always viewed herself as a manager first, friend second, and mother third. Our younger daughter, Ali … has been cast in a movie and is recording an album. Dina, quite simply, views Ali as a bankable commodity.

[From the Daily News]

The article is obviously very biased towards Michael. It’s almost a challenge to be biased one way or the other, since both parents suck so badly. Michael is so holier-than-thou that you can’t take a thing he says seriously. And he seems to have no idea that he comes across so badly. Michael has a running blog on OK! Magazine’s website where he provides his opinion of the contents of Dina and Ali’s show Living Lohan. Speaking of holier-than-though, Michael mentions that he has doubts about the blog, but has decided to stick to his word.

I will however call it as I see it and speak from my heart, because “the truth”, (which in essence is God) is what matters and I don’t see a lot of it in this show.

[From OK! Magazine]

Michael goes on to criticize Living Lohan a bit, and then spends a good deal of the rest of his blog talking about how “by the grace of God” he saved an alcoholic and bought him new clothes and got him into a rehab facility. I’d be impressed, if Michael didn’t have to flout it. Maybe he could spend a little less time working on his superiority complex and telling everyone how to live their lives, and a little more time focusing on humility and being a real and present dad for his kids.

Here’s Dina and Michael Lohan as they reunite to make a statement outside Nassau County Family Court near New York. The pair pleaded with the press to allow them to resolve their family issues in private. Because we know how much they value their privacy. Images thanks to Splash.

Lindsay Lohan had a busy day annoying the crap out of people. Okay that’s not noteworthy in and of itself, but she really upped her usual level of obnoxiousness. On Thursday Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha Ronson flew from New York to Los Angeles. Their seats weren’t next to each other, which of course caused a major panic for LiLo. She insisted that flight attendants uproot other passengers so she could have her every whim catered to.

Sources tell TMZ a star-studded flight this morning included Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, singer James Ingram and Stephen Baldwin — and each group sat in different classes.
Our sources say that patrons on the New York to L.A. flight had to be moved around so LoRon could sit beside each other in business class — and that Lindsay requested a “warm compress” to help her ailing chest. Isn’t that what Sammy’s there for?

[From TMZ]

Well of course everyone else should rearrange themselves for Lindsay’s absolute comfort. Lindsay reportedly started suffering from an asthma attack partway through the flight. Sounds like something Sharon Stone would call karma. She asked for a warm compress for her chest. I’m sure Samantha lovingly applied it. The flight attendants obliged, but after they landed in L.A. Lohan had to go to the hospital.

Actress Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized on Thursday after reportedly having problems due to chronic asthma.

Lohan, 21, was spotted leaving a Los Angeles emergency room with best friend Samantha Ronson. The pair had just returned to California from New York.

Sources tell TMZ.com the “Mean Girls” star spent over two hours in Century City Hospital’s E.R. after enduring the six-hour bicoastal flight.

According to reports, the actress began to experience discomfort in her chest and asked flight attendants for a warm compress to ease her pain.

[From the San Francisco Gate]

For some reason Lohan’s rep is insisting that she wasn’t hospitalized and was simply visiting a sick friend, despite reports to the contrary. I have no idea why she’d feel the need to lie about LiLo’s asthma. It’s been pretty well documented in the past. I mean yes we’d do our best to speculate that it was something drug related – but that goes for her “visiting a friend” too. Might as well be honest. Either way, rest assured Ms. Lohan is doing just fine, and back to work on her next film, Labor Pains.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan walking to the Neil George salon looking tired and without makeup or her hair done on May 19th. Photos thanks to WENN.

According to Page Six, Lindsay Lohan is doing her very best to avoid her crazed father Michael. In fact after he found out what hotel she was staying in while visiting Manhattan, he camped out in the lobby waiting for her to return. LiLo checked out early – after less than a day – in an attempt to avoid the crazed born-again wing nut.

It takes a lot to separate Lindsay Lohan from her constant companion, Samantha Ronson - but if anyone can do it, it’s her obsessive father, Michael Lohan.

Wednesday night, Michael showed up at the Peninsula Hotel, where Ronson was deejaying a men.style.com party. “Michael found out where Lindsay was going to be and went to find her,” a source said. “She was really freaked out by it because she has no interest in seeing her father.”

Hotel spies say Lindsay checked in with Ronson on Tuesday, but by Wednesday afternoon, before the party started, she had cleared out, possibly after learning her father was on his way.

“Michael was staking out the lobby and waiting for Lindsay to make an appearance,” said our source. “It was freaky. He was sitting on the steps and texting like mad, and looking very upset that she hadn’t arrived.”

[From Page Six]

Michael, of course, issued a rebuttal, using his new “blogging rights” on OK Magazine’s website. Instead of just saying, “No, that wasn’t what I was doing,” or explaining why he was doing it, he goes off on some long-winded slam against ex Dina Lohan. Now I hate Dina as much as the next person. But it’s pretty clear that Michael is obsessed with her since he can’t stop talking about her, and making the same old complaints again and again.

“This morning’s article was nothing more than Dina, who planted the story by using sources and so-called friends — all because I’m taking her to court and she wants me to look bad before everyone finds out what her and her family are all about.

“Dina is getting such bad press for her show [Living Lohan on E!] that she is trying to pass it off on me. She does this time and time again, and in each instance, when I talk to Lindsay, she says, ‘Dad, I never said that or did that!’

“Dina is manipulative, deceptive and devious, just like her immoral family. If she isn’t trying to manipulate our children, she has other people make statements for her just like she has done in this latest article.

“Her show should be called Living SULLIVAN [Dina’s Maiden Name] and not Living LOHAN because a LOHAN would never do what her or her family does.

[From OK Magazine]

In case you were sitting around wondering, Michael Lohan is not smart enough to understand the difference between using “her” and “she.” I know, shocking that a Lohan can’t attain a basic level of intellect.

Michael is right though: how dare Dina sully the good Lohan family name? A name of such valiant honor. I remember this one time, a Lohan beat up his brother-in-law who was a Sullivan, and ended up going to prison for two-and-a-half years because he violated his probation (for a DUI). What prestige, the Lohan name!

Seriously, I don’t think Lindsay Lohan is capable of healthy or intelligent decisions. But staying the hell away from her dad is definitely one of the smarter things she’s done in awhile.

Here’s Michael Lohan leaving the Lindsay Lohan Photo Exhibition inspired by her tattoos in Manhattan on March 6th. Because that’s not creepy at all. Heads up: supposedly this is Michael’s sex face. Images thanks to WENN.

I think singer/songwriter Ne-Yo has been drinking antifreeze instead of letting it leak out of the bottom of his car. Because that’s the only possible – rational – explanation I can come up with for why in the world he would say that Lindsay Lohan’s upcoming album sounds like anything other than shit. Well antifreeze ingestion or financial gain. Ne-Yo, who has written hit songs for Usher, Chris Brown, Whitney Houston, and Britney Spears (and about two dozen more successful pop singers) somehow got talked into writing a few tunes for Lindsay Lohan. And apparently the hit maker thinks it came out well.

Ne-Yo admits he had his doubts about Lindsay Lohan’s vocal talents when he was asked to write a song for her upcoming third album, due later this year. “I gotta admit, we were like … ‘Lindsay Lohan?’” Ne-Yo tells Billboard magazine. “I mean, I’ve written for Beyonce Knowles, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Celine Dion and … Lindsay Lohan?”

But after hearing her sing on the track, called “Bossy,” Ne-Yo says he and producer Stargate were so impressed that he called Lohan to say how sorry he was for not believing in her. “She did a ridiculously fabulous job,” Ne-Yo tells the magazine. “I was so shocked I had to call her and apologize for what I was thinking because she did so good. I think the world is gonna be surprised.”

Earlier this month Ne-Yo told PEOPLE that he and Stargate approached the Lohan project “as a challenge. ‘Can we make a song for Lindsay Lohan that people were gonna take seriously?’ I think we did it,” he said.

[From People]

Mark it down: Today Ne-Yo’s credibility (and career) just jumped the shark. LiLo’s first album actually wasn’t the worst thing ever. It was semi-decent pop, if you’re into that kind of music. It wasn’t some Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie crap where it was cringe-worthy awful. But from the leaked version of Lindsay’s upcoming single “Bossy,” there’s nothing “ridiculously fabulous” about it. If I were a well-respected songwriter, I wouldn’t want my name attached to anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan, unless it’s the phrase “totally shot her down.”

I love when good ‘ol Mom and Pop Lohan start bashing each other, because it’s guaranteed to be an orgy of hypocrisy. And who doesn’t relish that? The funkier looking Lohan’s (that’s Dina… it took me a while to decide who was funkier looking, but Dina’s mouth takes the cake) ass-tastic show Living Lohan premiered on E! last night.

And just because they like to stir the shit, OK Magazine thought it would be kind to give Michael Lohan a screener and ask for his thoughts. Now we know Michael is usually pretty reticent about judging and telling people how to live, since he’s an out and proud born-again Christian. But he made an exception for OK, and shared a few restrained opinions in an email with them.

Soooooo, you want a comment on the first episode of Living Lohan? Well, let’s see… If I were to look at things from a wordly perspective, I would probably have a lot to say about exploitation, hypocrisy and even deception — and maybe at a later date, I might just do so. For now, let’s just say I’m still trying to figure out if this show is about managing Ali’s career and being a “real” mother, or reading tabloids.

I’ve had a sneak peek at some future episodes and I will say that some of the people Dina surrounds the kids with still concerns me — again, I can address that when they appear on the show. I just hope Dina takes the high road — like a Lohan would — and rights these wrongs.

If this show is about the being a mother and a manager, the most important thing is to set a good example by instilling positive values, and doing what’s right for the kid’s sake. Not for our own! I wish Ali, Cody and Dina the best on the show and pray that they get what they want out of it.

[From OK Magazine]

I love all the “you suck, you’re terrible, you’re doing the wrong thing,” blah blah blahness, followed by, “I hope it makes you happy!” Because I’m totally sure Michael really does. Ending an otherwise critical email with a bland, generic catchall positive quote doesn’t exactly negate the other seven (really long) sentences.

Dina’s been out doing a ton of hypocritical press, so Michael’s thoughts on her aren’t exactly novel. If nothing else, Living Lohan is a great way to make sure that Dina never regains a shred of dignity or credibility, and ensures that her younger kids will never have successful careers of their own. But hey, Lindsay is doing so well, I’m sure they can all just live off her. Michael included, of course.

Micheal Lohan is shown on 3/6/08 “leaving the Lindsay Lohan Photo Exhibition inspired by her tattoos” thanks to WENN.

Lindsay Lohan is turning 22 on July 2nd, and it seems she hasn’t got enough cash to throw a party. So, she’s asking for some sponsorship for the drugs and booze she’s planning on indulging in. Lindsay’s people have set up a website detailing just what the birthday girl has planned. They’re calling it ‘Lindsay Lohan’s Mo-Rockin’ 22nd Birthday’.

“Sponsors will have a unique branding opportunity to an internationally media worthy event. Lindsay and her 10 closes girlfriends will start the celebration in the early afternoon with spa treatments including manicures, facials and massages.

“Upon nightfall an intimate group of 75 VIP guests will gather for dinner, performances and most importantly to help Lindsay blow out the candles on her 22nd Birthday cake.”

Talent Resources

If you do sponsor Lindsay’s 22nd, you’ll get logos on the invite and signage at the venue (a private Malibu mansion). You’ll also get inclusion in the gift bags, inclusion in the media materials, and your product will be placed in a ‘hospitality suite’.

The site also has a link to coverage of Lindsay’s 20th birthday party in Life & Style Magazine. They don’t provide links to pictures of Lindsay stumbling out of clubs, or her mug shot.

I don’t understand why Lindsay Lohan, who has been treated at three different rehab facilities this year, would ask for sponsorship of a party. Particularly when she blew off her 21st birthday party in favor of some time at Promises Rehab facility. If she winds up in rehab again, will the sponsors get their money back? Can’t she do what regular people do - and quite a few celebrities - and just throw her own private party, and pay for it herself?

Lindsay’s movie career is not exactly flourishing (she has one movie this year lined up, and one for 2009) maybe she should just try and lay low for a while, and concentrate on her acting. Otherwise she’s going to wind up begging her mum for some screen time on her reality series.

According to TMZ no alcohol brands will be sponsoring the event. This doesn’t mean that alcohol won’t be served.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Lohan is shown out shopping with her girlfriend on 5/16/08 and shopping in Beverly Hills on 5/15/08, thanks to WENN. Those boots!

Those rumors about Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson being lovers just won’t go away. The pair have been friends for several years, and gossip about the two of them has been around for almost as long. Dina and Ali Lohan just gave an interview to Extra, in which they’re asked about Lindsay’s lady-loving proclivities.

White Oprah and her 35-year-old daughter, Ali Lohan, are making the rounds whoring out their new reality show. Extra asked Ali and White Oprah about the rumors that HoHan is bumping vagina lips with Samantha Ronson.

Ali said, “They’re best friends. They’re just friends. It’s pathetic what people say.” Lezzzz be friends. Best friends with benefits! Friends who happen to eat each other’s coochie cats. You get the picture.

White Oprah responded, “It’s so silly. We actually laugh about it now. It really hurts, but you develop a thick skin. You have to ignore it.” A thick skin thanks to layers and layers of fake tanning grease!

Denials! You can’t deny the heat between Ronson and HoHan. That’s from some weird STD, but there’s still heat between them!

[From Dlisted]

That’s obviously not exactly the official transcript, but Michael K does a much better job summing it up than any line-by-line interview ever could. At one point the Extra interviewer asks Dina about her relationship with ex-husband Michael Lohan, and Dina’s publicist is heard trying to cut the interview. Dina is actually remarkably gracious (at least in comparison) and says she doesn’t want to talk about him. Here’s a clip of the interview, thanks to RedLasso.

Poor Lindsay Lohan. It must really suck to have karma bite you on the ass. La Lohan has been acting like a drunken spoiled brat for the last several years, and it’s finally getting the best of her. She hasn’t had a successful decent movie since Mean Girls, and hasn’t gotten any press for doing anything good since about that time. You never hear anyone say, “Lindsay Lohan did such a nice _______.” You do hear them say, “Lindsay Lohan ran over a guy’s foot,” and “Lindsay Lohan stole a random girl’s $11,000 fur coat.” I’m pretty sure next week you’ll hear, “Lindsay Lohan went to Disneyland and kicked Donald Duck in the crotch, just to see him cry.”

Lohan’s reputation as a poor actress with an even poorer work ethic has finally caught up with her. She’s been un-attached from the Charles Manson film she was scheduled to shoot – all because no one wanted to work with her – even no-name celebs.

Lohan has been un-attached from the independent feature The Manson Girls, written and to be directed by Matthew Bright, and produced by Elie Samaha, Donald Kushner, and Brad Wyman through Junction Films. Production was slated to commence in early July for five weeks in Los Angeles, and everybody was pleased that Lohan was attached back in March. (Some may, or may not, view this true life crime film for her as hitting bottom. Lindsay was to play the part of Nancy Pitman, a pampered surfer girl who became enthralled with Charlie Manson.)

But people associated with the movie told agents that Lohan quickly became more of a deficit than an asset when they discovered that they couldn’t find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her. (And even some name actors…) So now Lindsay is off the pic — but not for the excuses being circulated. Let this be a lesson… Behaving badly may get you on the covers of celebrity-obsessed mags and tabloids. But Hollywood won’t tolerate your shit and shouldn’t.

[From Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Rush & Molloy also mentioned that after she was dropped from the film, Lohan was spotted downing tequila shots with Lauren Conrad. Getting publicly plastered with a “reality” T.V. star? I’m not sure who should be more embarrassed to be seen with who here. You’d think reality TV actresses would be the lowest on the Hollywood food chain… but I’m pretty sure that Lohan is forevermore at the bottom of any list anyone could make.

Here’s Lohan leaving a meeting with the producers of a new film ‘Labor Pains’ in Los Angeles yesterday. Wonder how long before they “un-attach” her from their film. Images thanks to WENN.

From what I remember, Lindsay Lohan’s last music efforts were pretty solid pop numbers. I listened to a few on YouTube and they’re not bad at all. She must have a bad producer now, because E! Online and other sources have what they claim to be her latest single, Bossy, and it’s awful. It’s that electro-pop crap that leaves a bad taste in your mouth and the lyrics are so lame and repetitive. Paris Hilton’s music is better. Maybe they’re going for the tween set, because it’s the kind of crap that kids can tolerate.

Lohan is still being hired for film roles so she won’t have to fall back on her music “career” yet. She’s set to play a woman who fakes a pregnancy for attention:

Troubled star LINDSAY LOHAN will fake a pregnancy for her next movie role.
The actress - who is currently filming a guest appearance on hit U.S. TV show Ugly Betty - will appear in Rick Schwartz comedy Labor Pains.

A source tells the New York Post’s PageSix.com, “When she’s (Lohan’s character) treated better by everyone in her life, she tries to keep up the lie for nine months.”

[From ContactMusic]

Lindsay can certainly relate to faking things to get attention.

She is shown out getting food yesterday, thanks to WENN.

Lindsay Lohan was supposedly the model of a well-prepared actress on the set of ABC’s “Ugly Betty,” according to sources. Instead of reverting to her diva days of ditching rehearsals and blowing off shoots, Blohan actually reported to the set of the TV show early, and ready to work. That’s probably because this guest star gig the only decent acting work she can get, besides and unnamed movie co-starring Jack Black about dueling Renaissance Faire employees.

Gone are the days of being late to the set!

Lindsay Lohan – who began shooting her spot on ABC’s Ugly Betty on Saturday - continues to earn rave reviews from the show’s cast and crew.

“She was terrific - a pleasure,” Ugly Betty creator Silvio Horta tells Usmagazine.com. “She came in early and was very pleasant.”

Lohan plays Kimberly, “a queen bee girl who Betty went to high school with,” Horta says.

Lohan first appears on the May 22 season finale “in a flashback” dodge ball game, Horta says.

“Kimberly is doing the picking,” Horta says, “and it doesn’t turn out well for Betty.”

(She’s one of the last to be picked!)

Horta says Lohan will return for five episodes next season.

“They’re going to run into each other,” he says of the two characters. “Kimberly’s life has taken a turn for the worst.”

[From Us Weekly]

Hmmm. A character who was once super popular, but not a very nice person, who has fallen on some hard times- not too much of a stretch for our young rehab vet, is it? I’m sure Blohan is hoping that this guest stint will do for her career what Britney Spears’ appearance on “How I Met Your Mother” did. Trouble is, there is a lot more animosity and a lot less sympathy for Blohan’s self induced career tank than for Britney’s. And besides, does anyone even watch “Ugly Betty” anymore?

Lindsay Lohan is shown at the Launch of the Scarlet HD TV Series on 4/28/08, thanks to PRPhotos.