Considering everyone loathed Lindsay Lohan’s last foray into fashion – something about glassy eyes, heart-shaped pasties, cheesy, cheap hooker-wear and crack pipes – you’d think that no one would ever want to get involved in anything with the words “Lohan” and “fashion/clothing/leggings/shoes” ever, ever again. You would be wrong. Someone had the bright idea to allow Dina Lohan to have her own “celebrity” shoe line. Dina has named this line… wait for it… Shoe-Han. Was “Turd-Han” not available? What about Crack-Han? Budget-Han? Here’s the press release:

Dina Lohan, diva and star of the hit E! show “Living Lohan,” as well as mother to actress and starlet Lindsay, will be holding a major press conference and media reception on Thursday October, 8th at 2pm at Trump Plaza, 725 5th Avenue, Floor 21, Marc Fisher showroom, to announce a creation of her new own shoe line, “Shoe-han” as well as becoming a national spokesmodel for the popular LoveMyShoes.com retail designer ladies footwear stores.

Other celebrities that have sold millions of shoes include: Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Star Jones, Carlos Santana and more.

LoveMyShoes.com hopes to have Dina’s shoes available world-wide from coast to coast by Mother’s Day. She will be appearing as a shoe fashionista later this on month on television and radio commercials. The shoe store chain was founded on Long Island, home of the Lohan family.

[From Dina Lohan's Press Release via News Blaze]

So… I think the shoes are like Payless, only grosser. Not that Payless shoes are gross… I’ve owned a few pairs of Payless shoes in my day, and some are quite alright. It’s just that something about “Shoe-Han” just screams “cheap” to me, and not just in the financial way. Also, not that the press release refers to Lindsay Lohan as “actress and starlet”. Seriously? Are we still labeling her that way? I must have missed that memo. I’m still labeling her “unemployed crackhead Lindsay Lohan”. And her “famewhoring budget-shoe designer mother, Dina”.

After spending any amount of time looking at the horrible pictures of Lindsay Lohan on her big, jacked, cracked-out, sketchy Paris trip, most people have come out with several opinions about LL. First, the girl’s style is bullsh-t. Secondly, the girl is messing up her face big time. Something about lip injections, but her forehead and general puffiness might indicate something a lot more serious in the plastic surgery department. Third, the girl is on drugs. No one’s eyes are that glassy without some major help from some kind of pipe.

Michael Lohan disagrees with us. Sort of. Lindsay’s dad thinks that her problem is a prescription drug addiction. Michael has given an interview to Radar where he describes how he’s the one who will save Lindsay from the clutches of the… prescription drugs….? I’m still not buying it. That girl is on something heavier than Adder all (which sources have claimed in the past that Lindsay was/is addicted to). If you can stand Michael’s smarmy grossness, try getting through this interview:

Lindsay Lohan’s Spring 2010 collection for Ungaro debuted over the weekend in Paris to lukewarm reviews. But it was the actress’s shockingly frail appearance that garnered the most attention.

Wearing a white, asymmetrical mini-dress, Lohan looked out of it and gaunt as she walked the runway following Sunday’s show.

Now in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan, is speaking out about his daughter’s downward spiral; one he blames on prescription drugs.

“I’m going to get her off the prescription drugs that she’s on,” Lohan told us in a candid interview. “I hate it when people talk about illegal drug abuse… because it’s not just drinking and illegal drugs that kill you. Prescription drugs can destroy and kill a person and are sometimes harder to stop. Look at Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson.”

Lohan asked us not to reveal what specific medications he believes his daughter is abusing, but says they’ve taken over her life.

“You know why Lindsay’s not acting in feature films right now? Because she can’t,” he said. “Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that’s grown because of the prescription drugs. She can’t be herself. When you hug her she’s like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way.”

Lohan had a chance to spend some quality time with his oldest daughter following the break-in at her Hollywood Hills home. He says he was shocked by how much she’d changed.

“She’s a different person. I was out there for a week when she was living at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and I would sit there and cry. It was horrible. This was not the kid I raised,” Lohan told RadarOnline.com.

Lohan says he’s speaking out now because he’s worried about Lindsay’s health and fears she’s being taken advantage of by those he calls “enablers.”

“I don’t care what anyone says about Lindsay. The Lindsay Lohan I lived with when I was married was a focused, intelligent, gifted girl that needed no prescription medication, no assistance from a therapist. Whoever the people are that came into her life and convinced her otherwise should be thrown in jail, because they’re the same type of people who are responsible for the deaths of Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson and DJ AM,” Lohan said. “Everything was fine in our family until Dina and I got divorced. And that’s when all the kids’ lives started to unravel… including Lindsay’s.”

[From Radar]

I dry-heaved when he said, “When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way.” And I don’t buy that Lindsay’s problems are rooted in her parent’s divorce, either. I think she was screwed up long before then, but I’m willing to give significant blame to both Dina and Michael. They’re unquestionably (in my mind) terrible parents who are still trying to profit from Lindsay at any cost, even as her career, beauty, and talent has evaporated. Michael’s just the parent who’s trying the angle of profiting from his daughter’s drug abuse. In any case, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve said it before, Lindsay isn’t going to get help for anything because in her mind, she’s functioning. And that may be the saddest thing of all.

Lindsay Lohan is shown on 10/3 and 10/4 in Paris (white clothing) Credit: Bauergriffinonline. She is also shown on 10/5 in Paris. (purple cape) Credit: INFPhoto.com

Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan finally unveiled her collection for Ungaro. What’s that? It wasn’t really her collection, she was just the “artistic advisor”? No matter, Lindsay walked the runway with designer Estrella Arch to take credit for all of her “work”. I’m not sure why Lindsay bothered, though, because she was only taking credit for a collection that was universally loathed. The Huffington Post has a slideshow of the clothes (they’re hideous, childish and they look like budget hooker-wear), and HuffPo describes the outfits as “a plethora of hearts, from sequins on the outfits, patterns in the cloth, hats, and even heart-shaped pasties covering many of the models’ nipples, exposed by unbuttoned jackets and plunging necklines.”

Women‘s Wear Daily (via Dlisted) called the collection an “embarrassment” noting that the clothes looked “cheesy and dated”. The New York Times referred to the show as “the final gasp of celebrity madness” and noted the multiple wardrobe malfunctions, “bits of black masking tape or sequined pasties popping from jackets tricked out with hearts.” NYT summed up: “. Yet will this collection of hearts but with no soul be enough to entice young women who could probably find these looks anywhere?” The lesson: if you want to look like a cracked-out hooker, you kind find versions of this ugly stuff at Wal-Mart.

As for Lindsay, if it’s possible, she looked worse than she did at the Vogue party last week. Something about Paris does not agree with her – either that or she can’t handle the hardcore Parisian street drugs? All I know is that this girl’s face looks ridiculous. The puffed-out lips, the sketchy blonde hair, the bad skin… topped off with her ridiculously glassy eyes. Did she hit the pipe before she walked the runway? Afterwards, paparazzi caught her partying with Busta Rhymes at a Paris nightclub. Her hair looked a little better, but other than that it looks like Lindsay was “celebrating” her ass off. I don’t have any sympathy for her anymore. She doesn’t want to get better because she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong.

Lindsay Lohan is shown at the Ungaro show with Estrella Arcs and at the after party. Credit: STEPH/Wenn.com and BARM/Fame Pictures

Here’s Lindsay Lohan attending the Vogue Magazine party in Paris. I don’t know what to make of this mess. First, what’s working: I love the pants. The pants are lovely. I have a very similar pair of wide-leg pants that I wore the hell out of a few years ago. Sigh. Those pants were awesome, I should try to find those bad boys. Now, what’s not working: Lindsay’s face, her hair, her eyebrows, her expression, the navel-grazing halter, her scarred, burned, and cut up forearms and her cracked-out plastic surgery/injections. Basically everything above her waist is not working. I’m not sure about the sequined wrap/bolero thing either. It might work on somebody whose face wasn’t so jacked.

Lindsay’s been in Paris for most of the week, going to shows and… you know, being a crackhead. The usual. Oh, by the way, her little sister Ali is in Paris with her. You know, because Ali is home-schooled. Gah! Anyway, there have been a couple of interesting developments with Lindsay’s crack tweets. As many of you know, Lindsay’s crack tweets are epic, and the more asinine ones usually get taken down after she’s sobered up, usually with an excuse of being “hacked”. Her Twitter account was sevinnyne6126, a reference to both her fake tan line and her cracked-out leggings line. But a few days ago she changed it to LINDSAYLOHAN, I guess to be more like caps-lock Kanye, maybe? Or maybe she was tired of being “hacked”. She also recently updated her Myspace account from Paris – and she reminds us that she’s missing her “other half”. Which I suppose is either Samantha Ronson or her beloved crack pipe:

I’m sorry that I haven’t written anyone here on Myspace in a bit, I’ve been traveling A LOT and pretty much out of the loop in terms of most thing, aside from FASHION and the collection I’ve been designing with Estrella Archs (who is so wonderful!!!)

I’m in Paris, I love it here, missing my other half obviously! But, work is work!

Gotta run off to work now…

[From Lindsay’s Myspace via X17]

Lindsay is referencing her “job” as creative consultant to Ungaro. She also tweeted (on her new account) about her Ungaro gig: “I just saw my office at Emanuel Ungaro en Paris! It’s so pretty! I was shocked&so happy I cried!!! A dream come true!” Oh, for f-ck’s sake. We were supposed to stop encouraging her!

In one last piece of Lohan-related news, Project Runway’s silver fox Tim Gunn was recently asked by New York Magazine about Lindsay’s “job” with Ungaro. Before you could say “bitch, please”, Tim “cracked” a hilarious joke: “It’s got to be a publicity stunt! Or a crack-smoking board of directors?” HA!

Photo credit: INFPhoto.com

Hopefully, everybody remembers one of Lindsay Lohan’s rare jobs – that of “leggings designed and inspired by Lindsay Lohan”. The line is called “6126 by Lindsay Lohan”, and some new pictures were recently introduced to the site. It’s pretty epic. First of all, the first pictures on the introductory page are all of Lindsay. Only instead of smiling and really looking pleased to be wearing her own leggings, she’s giving the camera the cracked-out stink-eye, which many of us recognize. There’s one picture where, I swear to God, she’s trying to look sexy and seductive while giving us that look. The introductory page also graces us with a Marilyn Monroe quote: “I’m very definitely a woman, and I enjoy it.” Oh, but wait! It gets even better. Here’s the introductory message:

Once upon a time…
Chic was swank, elegance was a la mode, and glamour reigned.

Today, 6126 honors the enchantment of classic allure.
Our collection salutes strong women who understand that confidence is bewitching and playful sophistication is always in vogue.

Welcome to the seductive world of 6126, a lifestyle brand of feminine power and grace.

Because the glamour of once upon a time is timeless.

6126 by Lindsay Lohan

[From 6126 website]

Dude… seriously? Seductive, Timeless Glamour and leggings? If you’re not already gagging, try the Team Bios section, where Lindsay is described “known for her iconic fashion sense and countless fashion magazine covers including Harper’s Bazaar, Elle, Allure, InStyle, Nylon, W, as well as British publications Tatler, UK Elle and UK Glamour, Lohan has decided to venture into the licensing and branding world with the launch of her own leggings line, 6126.” Except that Lindsay’s style is, at best, “dirty-cute”, and at worst, “a cracked-out nightmare”. Never have I seen anything out of Lindsay even remotely “iconic”.

As for the actual leggings being sold, some are cute, I guess. Most of them remind me of the first hooker I ever saw. The cheapest pair is $60 (the “Beaton” – although they’re not really leggings, they’re just leg warmers) and the most expensive pair is $132 (the “Mr. President” style, which has “sassy quilted leather knee patches that are all flirtatious wink”). Is that expensive? I never price leggings because I haven’t worn a pair since I was 11 years old.

Photos thanks to the 6126 website.

It’s no secret that I don’t care for reality programming. But, I do make some exceptions. I’m addicted to Project Runway, because it’s a reality competition, where contestants actually make a product, and they have to have a modicum of talent (for something other than being a famewhore). I also like Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D-List, although I didn’t watch much of this season, because it seemed like Kathy was drifting away from her D-List roots. She chilled with T.I. for goodness sake! Anyway…

One of the things I’ve always been interested in is the different kind of television programming the British channels have. One show that I think I might get addicted to – if I lived in England – is Celebrity Big Brother. It seems like a half-way decent concept: get a mixed group of somewhat legitimately famous people, has-beens, also-rans, famewhores, and flavors of the month together in one house for a month, and see what happens. In America, VH1 ran a show called The Surreal Life, which followed the same basic premise, and I have to admit, I watched.

Celebrity Big Brother has already gone for six rounds, including the infamous Series 5, where Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo O’Meara made racist and controversial remarks towards Indian actress Shilpa Shetty. The producers have decided that the seventh season – which has yet to be fully cast – will be the final one. And that producers want another a big controversy. Hey… you know who brings the controversy big-time? Some random American crackhead named Lindsay Lohan, that’s who!

FINGERS crossed on this one – Big Brother chiefs are in talks with wild child Lindsay Lohan about next year’s last ever Celeb BB.

Our South-East Asian spies (of course!) report that producers from Endemol were discussing the proposal with LiLo in Singapore this week.

The blonde nightmare is in the country to host a string of high-profile pop gigs.

Bosses are hoping to snag some top stars for January’s show, which will be the last of the franchise ever on Channel 4.

Off-the-wall LiLo – famous for her diva-like demands – would certainly be telly gold. Let’s hope C4 has got a big chequebook!

[From The Sun]

It could be a brilliant career move for Lindsay, I think. Well, “brilliant” meaning “Lindsay will f-ck it up, and it will be great television”. I hope this report is true, and I hope Lindsay signs on. So what if I have ulterior motives? Oh, what’s that you say – Lindsay would have to be out of America for a month? What would we do without her?

Meanwhile, Lindsay is already in Singapore for her Grand Prix hostess duties. The Mirror had an interesting piece about Lohan’s beef with Beyonce – who sang at the F1 Rocks event in Singapore. Apparently, Lindsay tried to jack Beyonce’s stellar dressing room, only to get thrown out by Beyonce’s bodyguards. Her one quote from Singapore? “I’ve been a bit down. It was a strange night. Everyone was being aggressive and bothering me. I really didn’t like it.” No, Lindsay – that’s called sobriety. Gotta love Singapore’s drug laws!

Lindsay Lohan is shown at Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris with Ali on 9/28/09. Credit: ANG/Fame Pictures

About a month ago, Lindsay Lohan’s home was burglarized and about $2 million worth of borrowed jewelry was stolen. Little else was taken, though – and the entire incident was enough to raise suspicions. Many thought that Lindsay had burgled herself - especially when a photo was released of one of the burglars, a female that seemed to look a lot like Lindsay. About a week and a half ago, one of the suspects was arrested, and it was a kid named Nicholas Prugo. At first, it looked like Lindsay might be in the clear – until sources claimed that Nicholas and Lindsay actually knew each other and hung out together. Some of us thought – “Hey, maybe Lindsay pulled the job with her friend.” Unfortunately for us conspiracy theorists, someone new has come forward to take the blame.

Her name is Rachel Lee, and she claims to be the second burglar caught on camera. The LAPD aren’t confirming as of yet that Rachel has turned herself in:

It looks like Lindsay Lohan has finally had a stroke of luck. A woman caught on camera while attempting to break into the Mean Girls star’s home has turned herself over to the police.

First the 23-year-old actress was offered a prestigious gig as artistic advisor to fasion house Emanuel Ungaro, now E! reports that Rachel Lee, the second of two culprits captured on tape, voluntarily offered herself to the LAPD on Sept. 18.

Nicolas Prugo, 18, one of the alleged thieves, was arrested on Sept. 17 in connection with break-ins to Lindsay’s Hollywood Hills home and The Hills’ hottie Audrina Patridge’s pad.

Lindsay’s house was burglarized last month by a young man and woman, who ripped a safe out of the wall and stole bags, shoes and jewelry.

In February, the same pair appeared to be breaking into 24-year old Audrina’s home, making off with several bags of her belongings.

The LAPD haven’t confirmed that Lee had turned herself over to authorities but are expected to make an official statement Monday, Sept. 28.

[From OK! Magazine]

It’s perfectly possible that Rachel and Nicholas Prugo pulled off this cracked-out heist with zero help from Lindsay, but the whole thing still seems fishy as hell, doesn’t it? Even if Lindsay wasn’t the second thief, that doesn’t mean that she didn’t know her burglars, or that she arranged the whole thing. Would anyone put it past her, knowing her history?

This is actually what a “friend” of Nicholas Prugo’s is suggesting – according to E!, a girl named Kelsey Schluter, a friend of Prugo’s, wrote on her Facebook page: “You don’t know the facts. Lindsay, Nick, and Rachel are all friends… It was an inside job. A safe was never stolen.” Cue dramatic crackhead music.

This photo is from Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter – she posted it, thinking she looked awesome, when she really looks older than her mother. But still, happy days, right? Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan got a job - hostess of the Singapore Grand Prix. Even though Lindsay was the second choice – the replacement for a Pussycat Doll – she seemed thrilled with her gig as she waxed on like a crackhead about the Grand Prix and Herbie: Fully Loaded. The news made me wonder if Lindsay, in her own mind, might think that if she’s functioning enough to take a gig, that maybe she’s still keeping it together. I have news for Lindsay – she’s not.

In Touch Weekly has an article this week about how everyone in Lindsay’s life thinks she’s a loser, especially the drama-muse herself, Sam Ronson. It starts with a story about how Samantha Ronson specifically had to ensure that Lindsay did not show up at Charlotte Ronson’s (Sam’s sister) fashion show in New York. The Ronson family thinks Sam’s relationship with LiLo is “volatile” and they took “extreme measures” to make sure Lindsay wouldn’t make a scene:

“Lindsay has ruined too many family events and we couldn’t let Charlotte’s night be about Lindsay,” a friend tells In Touch. “Sam’s whole family hates her.”

Lindsay wasn’t at the after-party either. Instead, Sam kept busy chatting with Spider-Man star Kirsten Dunst, who, according to the friend, “doesn’t like Lindsay.”

One sympathetic pal of Lindsay’s think she’s at the breaking point: “It’s sad that the Ronsons used Lindsay when she was at the height of her fame and now they talk badly of her.”

While Sam partied without her, Lindsay “was trying to get her friends to go out, but they were sleeping and didn’t want to go… So she flipped out.”

Though Lindsay has denied them, there have been reports that she had a meltdown at the Bowery Hotel the same night as Charlotte Ronson’s show. Lindsay believed Sam was staying there. “She arrived in the early morning… she looked drunk and was covered in bruises.”

Once inside the hotel, the witness claims, Lindsay unleashed her fury.

“She threw a room service tray at what she thought was Sam’s door,” says the witness. When it turned out to be the room of another guest, Lindsay was unrepentant – and continued her tirade.

“She was screaming at the guest in the hallway. She said that someone had beaten her up.” The witness claims that eventually, police escorted her out of the building.

“Poor Lindsay has no one to take care of her,” says one former pal.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, October 5 2009]

Jaybird reported the story about Lindsay getting a police escort out of the Bowery last week. It’s still pretty f-cking deranged this week. But it’s interesting backstory to hear that Lindsay’s freakout might have been the result of not being invited to bring her cracked-out diva act to Sam’s sister’s fashion show. I wonder whether or not Sam is even putting out the effort to enable Lindsay at this point. Lindsay is caught in her own neverending cycle of drama, I don’t think Sam really has to do or say anything. Whatever happens, Lindsay is going to freak out and act like the crazed bitch that she is.

Here’s Lindsay at LAX on the 22nd and 18th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

Yesterday Kaiser wrote about Lindsay Lohan pulling a complete diva act at the G-Star show during Fashion Week in New York. Lohan didn’t like where she was sitting, so she started tossing the seating cards of tons of much bigger celebs and arranging everything to her liking. When the event organizers came over to her, she told them, “Don’t f-cking touch me.” Kaiser suggested they should have called the police – and it seems like others agree that’s generally the best way to handle Lindsay Lohan.

According to Hollyscoop, last night Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha Ronson got into one of their epic fights. I’d link the past examples here except I think the servers might explode from so much work. I can’t link four hundred fights. I’m sure this pair argue in their sleep. They’ll fight from their graves. It’s all their relationship is based on. Anyway, last night Lindsay and Samantha were still in New York, staying at the Bowery Hotel. During one of their screaming matches (I mean it was a Thursday, got to have the customary late-week brawl), Lindsay hurled a room service tray at Samantha’s door. Only it turns out it wasn’t Samantha’s door. She was off by a few. Naturally the guests inside that room called the cops, because there is seriously nothing more terrifying than a rage-filled Lindsay Lohan outside your door. I know that sounds sarcastic but I really do mean it.

Police arrived on the scene and Lohan was eventually dragged out of the hotel by the cops. Hopefully kicking and screaming, as instinct tells me she’s not likely to have left with dignity.

Lindsay Lohan is back to her old tricks! We suspected Lindsay wasn’t 100% “sober” like she’s been claiming, but this story pretty much confirms our speculation.

Inside sources tell Hollyscoop that Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of the Bowery Hotel in New York City last night after a blow-up fight with Samantha Ronson.

Police were called to the scene after Lindsay reportedly “threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend’s door” during a heated fight.

The only problem was…she threw that tray at the wrong door. As a result Lindsay was kicked out of the posh hotel, with authorities escorting her off the premises.

The same source claims Lindsay’s friends and family are planning on staging an intervention to get her back in rehab for the fourth time!

It’s official! Lindsay is a mess! Her family and friends have a right to be concerned for her health and her safety. She’s clearly a threat to herself and those around her!

[From Hollyscoop]

You know what would be fabulous in addition to an intervention? An arrest. I know the cops are more likely to try to settle a dispute in a case like this instead of arresting someone since no one was injured. But with Lindsay’s cracked out history (she’s had plenty of arrests, mostly involving stealing cars, running over people’s feet, and high speed chases through the streets of L.A), she should have been arrested. I realize the NYPD has bigger fish to fry, but Lohan is capable of being more dangerous than she appears. I would absolutely not put it past her to hurl something at a cop, given a chance.

Lohan is normally a prolific Twitter-er, but she’s been totally mum since 9:27 Wednesday evening, when she denied the rumor that she was in a psych ward. Hey, maybe that’s true now!

Here’s Lindsay leaving a party with friends in New York on Monday night. Images thanks to Pacific Coast News.

This latest story is just another in a long line of “Lindsay Lohan is a cracked-out diva” stories – and it won’t be the last, either. But I enjoyed it. It’s just a little anecdote about Lindsay (and her sister Ali, the 16-year-old with the smoker’s rasp, who looks like Dina Lohan’s twin) at a fashion show, and how she still thinks she’s some kind of A-Lister. These photos are Lindsay at the show – is it horrible that I don’t hate this outfit? Lindsay usually looks like death warmed over, but this dress with the thigh-high stockings isn’t too bad. I mean, she doesn’t look classy or anything, but it kind of works. My mother would declare the outfit “whorey”. Lindsay’s mom would declare this outfit “Can I borrow that?”

Lindsay Lohan is largely unemployed these days, but she still behaves like a movie star. For the G-Star runway show Tuesday night at Hammerstein Ballroom, “She arrived with her sister, Ali, and two other guests,” said our insider.

“She had already copped an attitude by refusing to pose for photos, and she had to be dragged into the press line.”

Later, “Lindsay decided she wasn’t happy with the seating arrangements. She began taking the seating cards for celebrities like Juliette Lewis and Christian Siriano and moving them or throwing them on the floor,” said our source.

When she threw Taylor Momsen’s place card to the floor, event producers approached her. Lohan responded, “Don’t [bleep]ing touch me,” and “rolled her eyes and continued moving the place cards,” said our spy. There’s no stopping a true diva.

[From Page Six]

“Don’t f-cking touch me,” Lindsay muttered, and no one did anything! How about calling the cops on her dumb ass? Eh. How long will Lindsay continue to even be invited to these events? And what bothers me more is that Lindsay pulled this sh-t in front of her sister. Great message for Ali, right? Be a cracked out diva, hiss “don’t f-cking touch me” and everything will go your way. Yesterday, Jaybird wrote about Life & Style’s cover story this week, in which a source claims “Anything Lindsay does, Ali wants to do.” This includes dressing alike, “looking shockingly skinny and sporting plumped-up lips.” So how long before we begin reading Page Six reports about Ali’s psycho, cracked-out diva behavior? And you know Ali wants to be the kind of “celebrity” Lindsay is. You know, the kind of “celebrity” that never works, perpetuates neverending drama, breaks into her own home (allegedly) and gets sued all the time. Tragic.

Oh, and in case anyone cares, Lindsay Lohan just tweeted that regardless of whatever rumor is spreading like wildfire, she is not in a psych ward. Lindsay wrote: “Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in a psych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I’m working lol…BUT that’s one I’ve NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r always interesting huh? There’s SO much more going on in the world! Wake up.” Oh, Lindsay. She’s so wise. Tell us more about what’s happening in the rest of the world, Lindsay!