OK, I was going to use Jennifer Garner photos, but then I saw these amazing Absolutely Fabulous photos! Eddie! Patsy! Vodka! YAY! I’m so glad they’re filming something new. Now I’m totally going to watch my DVDs this weekend.

Jennifer Garner’s bump-tastic Dimple Parade. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Tell ya mutha about Mark Wahlberg‘s Wahlburgers. [Gawker]
Charlotte Gainsbourg‘s new song & music video are really, really good. [LaineyGossip]
Just FYI, Sinead O‘Connor also does butt stuff. [Dlisted]
A succinct explanation for why people take photos of Olivia Palermo. [Go Fug Yourself]
I‘ve dreamt of Clive Owen before, but where‘s Andrew Garfield?!!? [Pajiba]
Pippa Middleton‘s black & white raincoat. Hate it. [Celebuzz]
Historically, who has thrown shade at Beyonce? [Bossip]
Dear Reese Witherspoon: stop trying to parade like Jennifer Garner. [Pop Sugar]
John Mayer‘s style is so… ugh. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Rihanna has a new music video too. [ICYDK]
Madonna, Brahim and Lola on vacation. Hasn‘t school started? [A Socialite Life]
OMG, there‘s a PLANET made of diamonds. [The Frisky]
Blind item! Hmm… everything‘s about Will & Jada these days. [CDAN]
Happy Equality Day, bitches (and sluts). [Jezebel]
Bar Refaeli is still trying to make Leonardo jealous. Not happening. [The Blemish]
Sean Penn has a pretty new girlfriend. Poor ScarJo. [Evil Beet]

Katherine Heigl‘s hair is improving. And poor Josh. [INFDaily]
Lady Gaga‘s outtakes from Vogue Japan. Rough. [Yeeeah]
Victoria Silvstedt‘s boobs look horribly fake. [Celebslam]
If Madonna was a cat named Mona. Mona is lovely, btw. [OMG Blog]
Linnocent & Mother Crackhead chugged three bottles of wine together. [LimeLife]
Kelly Brook in a really short pink dress. [Moe Jackson]
People Mag‘s editor tries to defend their Kim Kardashian cover. [Amy Grindhouse]
Preview for the new season of House. House goes to prison. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Dermot Mulroney is a pale DILF. [PopBytes]
Kat Von D, ‘Shopped into oblivion. [Celebs]
Happy 24th birthday, Blake Lively (except for the nose and boobs, which are NOT 24 years old). [CityRag]
Scarface reunion! Um, Steven Bauer is HOT. [Hollywood Rag]
Robert Downey Jr. & more about the Sherlock sequel! [ONTD]
Lucy Pinder has a new calendar. [IDLITW]
Ashton Kutcher thinks he‘s so funny. [Bitten and Bound]
Courteney Cox with no makeup. [Starpulse]

Kevin Jonas doesn‘t want to be a creepy dog person, but he also doesn‘t want to have sex with his wife. Tough call, dude. [Dlisted]
Check out all of the hotties coming to Toronto! Jesus. [LaineyGossip]
Did the earthquake make Pres. Obama miss a putt? [Gawker]
Holy crap, Rick Schroder has an 18-year-old son, and he‘s HOT. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Rose Byrne in Dolce & Gabbbana – cute. [Go Fug Yourself]
Did Marilyn Monroe have slouchy-hipster posture? [Pajiba]
Matt Bomer, just because he‘s so pretty. [Celebuzz]
Deadbeat daddy drama amongst a group of people I don‘t know. At all. [Bossip]
Sienna Miller is still making Tom Sturridge pay attention to her. [Pop Sugar]
Zac Efron‘s perky B-cup in a tank top. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Rose McGowan. Busted. Orange. [ICYDK]
Hilary Duff shows off her workout bump. [A Socialite Life]
Daisy Lowe calls her “biscuit” a “nunny”. [The Frisky]
Random photos – Brad Pitt hanging out with some Scottish kids! [CDAN]
Iman takes Vogue Italia to task for their “slave earrings” label. [Jezebel]
Milla Jovovich in a bikini, in Mexico. [The Blemish]
Paris Hilton doesn‘t look bad with blue hair. [Evil Beet]

The new poster for A Dangerous Method. Needs more Fassdong. [ONTD]
The East Coast earthquake just scared the Bejesus out of me. Only the Fassdong can make it better. [OMG Blog]
Rihanna in a bikini, plus some Will Smith stuff. [Yeeeah]
Did Selena Gomez dump Justin Bieber?!? Probably not. [Celebslam]
You too can own a million episodes of Law & Order. [LimeLife]
Brittany Snow looks kind of tweaked. [Moe Jackson]
Kim & Kris Humphries are on their honeymoon after all. [Amy Grindhouse]
Katherine McPhee is in Shark Night 3D. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
When Kim Kardashian got married, everybody checked out her porno. [PopBytes]
Emma Watson is an amazing actress? We‘ll see. [The Celebrity Café]
E! News footage of Kim Kardashian‘s wedding. Meh. [Celebs]
Conan O‘Brien Barbarian. Excellent. [CityRag]
Katie Price and her pink jugs. [Hollywood Rag]
I love how Todd is a total Brangeloonie. [IDLITW]
God, I HATE Katy Perry‘s wiglet. [INFDaily]
Ross Mathews lands his own show. Gwyneth still thinks he‘s fat. [Bitten and Bound]
Review of Don‘t Be Afraid of the Dark: meh, boring. [Starpulse]

David Hasselhoff. There are no words. [LaineyGossip]
Alexa Chung‘s denim smock is fug. [Go Fug Yourself]
Wow, I didn‘t realize that Mitt Romney is 64. He looks great for his age. [Gawker]
Hilary Duff‘s knocked-up ass got dumped from the Bonnie & Clyde remake. [Dlisted]
The Pillow Weeper weeps over Anne Hathaway‘s accent. [Pajiba]
Alexander Skarsgard is looking right at me. Shhh… [Celebuzz]
Jay-Z refers to Beyonce as his “bitch”? Eh. [Bossip]
Waity in wellies. Her legs look worse than Angelina‘s, I swear. [Pop Sugar]
Regis Philbin just celebrated his 80th birthday. [I’m Not Obsessed]
James Franco will make ART/porn/ART. [ICYDK]
Jennifer Lopez & her kids, who really take after Marc. [A Socialite Life]
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley talks about her lips. [The Frisky]
No jail time for Estella Warren. [CDAN]
David Beckham & his boys love the ocean so much. It‘s so cute. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Marc Jacobs taking over Christian Dior? [Jezebel]
Here are some videos and stuff from Kim Kardashian‘s wedding. [The Blemish]
Brangelina are only the #3 Top-Earning Celebrity Couple. [Evil Beet]

Rihanna looks like a muppet. A cute muppet, but a muppet all the same. [Celebuzz]
Part of me thinks that The Avengers is going to be a huge train wreck. [LaineyGossip]
Further evidence of Jennifer Lopez‘s on-set bitchery. [Dlisted]
Have you had sex with Rick Perry? If so, there‘s a number you should call. [Gawker]
Review of Conan the Barbarian: it‘s okay if you‘re drunk. [Pajiba]
Kim Kardashian‘s new wax figure looks like… Eva Longoria? [The Blemish]
Natalie Portman, photographed for the first time since giving birth. [Pop Sugar]
Haha, Tyra Banks has a mustache. [Yeeeah]
I thought Page Eight was going to be good, but this trailer sucks. [Evil Beet]
Here‘s a preview of Amy Winehouse‘s last recorded song. [Jezebel]
Selma Blair introduces the world to son Arthur Saint. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Kanye West‘s stalker went commando to a CFDA event. WTF? [Celebslam]
God Bless America: Homegrown firemen hotties. [OMG Blog]
Betty White is our “most trusted” celebrity. Trusted to do what? [LimeLife]
ScarJo keeps it low-key. And thin too. [Moe Jackson]
Tara Reid looks like hell, right? Bitch is still drunk. [Amy Grindhouse]
Vintage Brad Pitt: the Levi‘s commercial. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Brad Pitt finally got to take off the scarf on the set of World War Z. [ICYDK]
The Glee Photoshoot is monstrous. [Go Fug Yourself]
I‘m pretty sure Jake Gyllenhaal is cruising this dude. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Am I a jagoff for wanting to see the new Fright Night? [A Socialite Life]
NKOTB handmade knit sweater!!!! [The Frisky]
Dame Gwyneth saved a life on 9/11. Or, her Mercedes did. [CDAN]
New Tori Amos video!!! YAY! [PopBytes]
Jessica Alba is madly in love with little Haven Garner. [The Celebrity Café]
James Franco‘s brother is pretty cute. [Celebs]
Am I alone in thinking Reese Witherspoon‘s tattoo looks really tacky? [CityRag]
Kate Moss is on vacation. Again! [Hollywood Rag]
Lady Gaga‘s little sister wants to go into fashion. [ONTD]
Fantasia is already canceling shows because she‘s pregnant. [Bossip]
Hulk Hogan banged a dude? [IDLITW]
I love Ed Westwick so much. He‘s so lovely. [INFDaily]
Christine O‘Donnell needs attention, y‘all. [Bitten and Bound]
The Piv speaks. [Starpulse]

PS… that brunette chick is the PA that Brad’s allegedly bangin’.

Amber Tamblyn & David Cross are engaged. I thought he was gay? [Life & Style]
Jessica Simpson farts out a funny joke about not being drunk. LIES. [LaineyGossip]
Justin Bieber Way isn‘t just faux birth control anymore, it‘s a street! [Dlisted]
Dissecting one of the most offensive HuffPo essays ever. [Gawker]
YES! I‘m going to watch The Hour tonight on BBC America. [Pajiba]
Stacy Keibler is already getting pap‘d on the regular. [Celebuzz]
Pippa Middleton‘s continuing forays in bad fashion. [Pop Sugar]
Heidi Klum is a lucky bitch. [Yeeeah]
Pia Toscano totally got a nose job. [Evil Beet]
I love you, Anne Hathaway, but you don‘t have to try so hard. [Jezebel]
Alyson Hannigan‘s daughter is absolutely gorge. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Helen Hunt‘s cameltoe. [Celebslam]
The trailer for Hysteria. I wish Michael Fassbender was in this. [OMG Blog]
Sparkles to start his own sparkly fashion line?!? [LimeLife]
Doutzen Kroes is so pretty. [Moe Jackson]
Anne Hathaway covers Interview Mag. [Amy Grindhouse]
Alex O‘Loughlin is shirtless, hot. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Hot guys cuddling puppies. This is best porn ever. [The Frisky]
Olivia Munn looks kind of rough. [Go Fug Yourself]
Brangelina Bunch: Train-riders! [I’m Not Obsessed]
Real Housewives react to Russell Armstrong‘s suicide. [ICYDK]
Hello, dream-lover Andrew Garfield. Why do you have mutton chops? [A Socialite Life]
I agree, Andy Cohen is crazy. [CDAN]
Look at Kim Kardashian‘s rash. Ugh. [PopBytes]
Is another season of Sex & the City going to happen? Please, GOD, no. [The Celebrity Café]
Jani Lane‘s autopsy is inconclusive at this point. [Celebs]
Is dressing up your ferret a thing now? Aren‘t they just glorified rats? [CityRag]
Shauna Sand riding a bike. [Hollywood Rag]
Stills from Lady Gaga‘s new music video – she‘s copying Splash? [ONTD]
CNN‘s Don Lemon goes after Michelle Bachmann. [Bossip]
Taylor Swift has an on-stage upskirt? Jake still isn’t looking, Swifty. [IDLITW]
Kim Kardashian‘s FACE. Ugh. [INFDaily]
I can‘t believe Emma Roberts is serious about a dude named Chord. [Bitten and Bound]
Happy 21st birthday, Jennifer Lawrence! [Starpulse]

Mark Sanchez is hot for “experienced” Jennifer Aniston. [Celebuzz]
Jessica Biel looks really, really skinny all of a sudden. [LaineyGossip]
Briefcase model knows how to fight back, it seems. [Dlisted]
Sarah Palin has too much time on her hands if this is her pedicure. [Gawker]
There‘s going to be an Austin Powers 4. Ugh. [Pajiba]
Candice Swanepoel in a bikini. Still really skinny. [The Blemish]
George Clooney is in Lake Como, without a girl it seems. [Pop Sugar]
Heidi Klum is topless in Sardinia. [Yeeeah]
Charlie Sheen and the Juggalos. I can‘t even start. [Evil Beet]
More photos from the budget Do Something Awards. [Jezebel]
Daniel Craig, his wife and her kid. So cute. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Leighton Meester, de-banged and pretty. [Celebslam]
Does anyone care about Andy Roddick at this point? No? [OMG Blog]
Bloody, bloody Linnocent. [LimeLife]
I still don‘t understand what an Aubrey O‘Day actually is. [Moe Jackson]
Selena Gomez‘s boobs are bigger. [Amy Grindhouse]
LeAnn Rimes‘s lopsided bolt-ons, Tinkerbell wings. Tragic. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]