I guess I sort of have to give it to Madonna. She’s 54 years old and her thighs look better than mine. These are photos of Madge at the Billboard Music Awards. This is how she walked the carpet, this is how she sat in the audience, this is how to received her awards for “Top Touring Artist” and “Top Dance Album” and this is how she posed for the press. Madonna didn’t feel like putting on a skirt, so she didn’t. She didn’t feel like changing her costume, so she didn’t. She wore the same garter belt and fishnet whatever the whole night. And it’s fine. Just give in to it. Madge thinks she’s being controversial. Let her think that.

I do want to say something about her face though – remember when her face looked painful? She had chicken cutlet cheekbone fillers inserted or she had a ribbon lift or something, and her face looked so painful for several years. But it doesn’t anymore. She’s had to let go of her oversized cheekbones, but her face looks softer. I’m sure she’s had so much work done, but it’s better work than she got a few years ago.

I’m also including photos of Celine Dion (she’s 45!) in Atelier Versace. God, doesn’t Celine look amazing? I wouldn’t be surprised if Celine gets some occasional Botox, but I appreciate that she doesn’t look waxy or frozen. This Versace is great on her too – very few women could pull off that color.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ha! I love how celebrities are totally shading Gwyneth Paltrow these days. If you missed my earlier post on Chloe Sevigny’s world-class shade on Goop, go here. Chloe was asked for her thoughts on Gwyneth’s petulant hissy fit about how “un-fun” the Met Gala was this year. And now Us Weekly’s print edition has an excellent story about WHY Gwyneth had such an awful time this year. It involves Madonna! Madonna and Gwyneth used to be friends until they had a falling out at some point a few years ago. Now they barely speak to each other, and Madonna goes out of her way to be a bitch to Goop.

The Material Girl is a Mean Girl! An insider tells Hot Stuff that Madonna went out of her way to make ex-friend Gwyneth Paltrow miserable at the May 6 Met Gala in NYC. Madonna gave Gwyneth the cold shoulder, then buddied up to tablemate – and current Paltrow pal – Beyonce.

“She chatted with Beyonce for most of the evening and didn’t even glance at Gwyneth,” says the source. “Everyone talked about it.”

The feud stems back to 2009, when Paltrow got fed up with the rude treatment from her onetime BFF.

“Madonna would sh-t on her, over and over,” says a Paltrow source. Years after Gwyneth dropped her, Madge is still hurt by the snub, says another insider: “She fels Gwyneth abandoned her. Now Madonna will do anything to make her suffer.”

And apparently she did. Days after the fashion bash, Paltrow told interviewers she would never attend again.

“It was so un-fun, I did not enjoy it at all.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

I don’t believe that Gwyneth dropped Madonna because Madonna “would sh-t on her over and over.” I mean, I believe Madonna can be an awful person and she always has to be “top dog” in her relationships, but who believes that Gwyneth isn’t perfectly capable of being just as nasty, judgmental and bitchy right back? No, I think they had a falling out over several things, especially Tracy Anderson and that whole situation. Gwyneth pretty much “stole” Tracy from Madonna and that’s the biggest untold gossip story.

But yeah, how funny is it to imagine Madonna spending all of her time with Gwyneth’s new BFF Beyonce? Goop must have been so peeved.

Hilariously, Gwyneth’s Goop-letter this week is her behind-the-scenes of the Met Gala and how she chose that awful pink Valentino, etc. You can read it here.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Guess who else wore Givenchy, just like Beyonce and Kim Kardashian? MADONNA. Are they the same level of celebrity? Ugh. Anyway, let’s talk about Madonna. Let’s talk about this look and Madonna’s insistence on showing up at the Met Gala every year, even though she’s “fallen out” with the cool kids, like Gwyneth, et al. I think Madonna is just throwing it in everybody’s faces at this point. I think the Met Gala is just her chance to shine and be a famewhore and have fun and get attention. They say that she arrived AFTER Beyonce, which is a pretty big deal considering Beyonce was the co-chair.

As for Madonna’s look… it was punk, I guess. The wig is fug, the outfit is funny and my favorite part is the crucifix hanging off of her butt. What do you want from her? She’s Madge. If she doesn’t show some butt cheek at a punk-themed event, who will?

Gwen Stefani could have showed some butt cheek and I think many of us would have expected it. But Gwen kind of didn’t know where to go, I think. She lives a pretty punk life as a rock star, so she tried to mix that with some glamour in this Maison Martin Margiela dress, and I’m not sure she succeeded. It’s not bad, and I think she really thought about the theme, but it’s more boring than I was expecting.

And just for a laugh, here’s Miranda Kerr in Michael Kors. For Kerr, punk = abs? I think she looks really dumb.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

There’s so much drama going on with Madonna’s charity in Malawi I don’t know where to start. Basically a lot of money was embezzled from the charity either with or without Madonna’s knowledge/nod and wink, and Madonna backed down on plans to fund a large multi-million school there. The school was thought to be Madonna’s way of placating the government after she adopted two children from the country without abiding by their long standing foreign adoption laws. So Madonna just spread some money around (a lot less) to other schools instead. Last week she went on a tour of Malawi in order to tout the charity work she eventually did, which was much different than what she promised.

Ahead of her trip, Madonna sent an embarrassingly personal, handwritten letter to the new President of Malawai, Joyce Banda, requesting a meeting. Madonna addressed the President by her first name and congratulated her on her new job as if it was a secretarial position. Madonna’s letter included misspelled words and platitudes like “Wish you the very best!” and “Best of luck to you!” It was way too informal and is said to have offended Banda, who did not meet with Madonna. The nation’s education minister made it clear that Madonna had slighted them, telling BBC “She promised an academy and we agreed on standards but she just changed her mind on the project without consulting us.”

Well it got worse for Madonna from there. When she was set to leave the country she was made to wait in line at the airport and get frisked with the rest of the peasants instead of breezing through security like she expected. Apparently the orders came on high for Madonna to receive the full tourist treatment, and President Banda pretty much confirmed it in a statement referencing “blackmail.” She also made it sound like Madonna demanded VIP treatment. This is kind of priceless, and of course Madonna has fired back already:

The pop star has come under fire by government bigwigs for purportedly pushing for VIP treatment during her recent visit to the country amid escalating tensions between the singer and local officials after she pulled back on plans to build a multimillion academy for girls.

The situation—which officials alluded to as “blackmail”—came to a head after Madonna and her entourage were reportedly denied expedited traveling privileges at the airport and were required to queue up alongside other passengers and frisked, per published reports.

“Granted, Madonna is a famed international musician,” Malawi President Joyce Banda’s office said in a statement. “But that does not impose an injunction of obligation on any government under whose territory Madonna finds herself, including Malawi, to give her state treatment. Such treatment, even if she deserved it, is discretionary not obligatory.”

The statement added: “Kindness, as far as its ordinary meaning is concerned, is free and anonymous. If it can’t be free and silent, it is not kindness; it is something else. Blackmail is the closest it becomes.”

An unnamed aviation official was quoted as saying that the airport had received “a directive” that Madonna and her entourage—which included her four children, Lourdes, Rocco, David and Mercy—were asked to pass through “the ordinary passenger terminal on their way to their jet.”

The 54-year-old pop star, however, refutes allegations that she made VIP demands.

“I did not ever ask or demand special treatment at the airport or elsewhere during my visit,” she said in a statement. “I will not be distracted or discouraged by other people’s political agendas. I made a promise to the children of Malawi and I am keeping that promise.”

The singer had initially pledged to build a multimillion-dollar school for girls in the southeast African nation, but government officials later accused her of backpedaling on that promise, choosing instead to merely build what they described as “classrooms at existing schools.”

A representative from Madonna’s charity, Raising Malawi, subsequently defended the pop star, saying that the foundation had reportedly pumped $400,000 into building 10 school blocks, providing a productive learning environment to 4,000 children.

[From E! Online]

Ok, so Madonna’s charity did eventually donate some money to Malawai’s schools, but even her charity rep admits it was $400,000, not the $15 million she promised. Plus, she asked people to donate to her charity, remember that? So a bunch of manager types got rich off Madonna’s charity, Malawi received less than 3% of the amount that they were promised, and they probably didn’t get a fraction of the amount that came from the public. Madonna said on CNN in 2009 that she would donate $250,000 to Raising Malawi, so it’s not like all those missing millions came from her. Malawian officials are pissed, and they’re letting Madonna know about it.

Yesterday Radar Online reported that Madonna had fired the Kabbalah cult from managing her charity. Is this damage control or is she finally breaking away from Kabbalah?

Joyce Banda meeting Queen Elizabeth II last June.

Madonna is shown performing in NY in November. That’s her boyfriend with her, Brahim Zaibat. He’s 25, tops. Credit: Pacific Coast News. Joyce Banda and Queen Elizabeth II photos from WENN.com

First of all, The NY Daily News has a copy of the handwritten note that Madonna sent to the new President of Malawi, Joyce Banda, and it’s hilarious! It’s full of exclamation points, run-on sentences and misspellings. Go over to the NY Daily News to check it out and come back here. That’s a note you send to a friend, not a head of state. Madonna should realize that she needs to send a type-written, proofread, respectful and formal note to a new President.

Madonna was requesting a personal meeting with the new President prior to her weeklong tour of the country. Madonna of course adopted two children, both now 8, from Malawi, skirting longstanding adoption laws to do so. She’s also had several charity projects in Malawi that have been mired in controversy, most notably a $15 million dollar school, plans for which were scrapped in 2011. The NY Times ran a piece a couple of months later detailing the millions of dollars that went missing in that charity, spent on “outlandish expenditures on salaries, cars, office space and a golf course membership, free housing and a car and driver for the school’s director.” And of course Madonna’s cult, Kabbalah, was involved and was going to influence the school’s curriculum. So there’s much more going on here than Madonna offending the President with a dumb, handwritten note. This is Madonna trying to do damage control and tout the charity work that her foundation eventually did in Malawi, by funding some community schools. Still, the note is funny. Here’s more, thanks to Radar:

The Material Girl sent a muddled letter to President Joyce Banda of Malawi last week to coincide with her latest goodwill trip to her country. But the impact of her words was diluted by a multitude of misspellings and led to her being refused a meeting, according to the New York Daily News.

Madonna, 54, addressed President Banda with the informal greeting “Dear Joyce” in the hand-written note, in which she congratulated the most powerful woman in Africa on the “new position” as the nation’s first female leader.

The pop star, who traveled to Malawi to check in on 10 school projects her charity built, proved she was in need of some serious schooling herself as she made a slew of errors in her note, including writing “responsability” instead of “responsibility.”

She even asked for a face-to-face with the president but her rambling and casual tone instead offended the president! The president told the pop star that she was too busy and instead delegated the meeting to officials from the education ministry, according to a report in the Nyasa Times.

And if the scribbled note wasn’t bad enough, the outreach itself may have been enough to upset the President. The President’s sister was previously fired from her role at Madonna’s Raising Malawi charity after accusations surfaced that she stole money.

Madonna is the country’s biggest global philanthropist, but as The Telegraph reported, her Raising Malawi program sparked criticism from the education minister over the schools that are financed by the charity.

Minister Eunice Kazembe denied that Madonna’s charity had built 10 new schools, saying that they had in fact “built 10 classroom blocks.” However, her philanthropy team claims that the schools are built to the national standard and house thousands of kids in classrooms instead of under trees.

“We have called President Banda, we have sent letters to President Banda but we have not heard back,” said Trevor Neilsen.”It’s pretty clear what’s going on here – the president’s sister now works in the education ministry and has an active grudge against Madonna.”

[From Radar Online]

In regard to the allegations that the President’s sister stole from Madonna’s charity – the head of Raising Malawi stole a bunch of money in 2009 (allegedly) before resigning and running off with Madonna’s then-trainer, Tracy Anderson. (Who is a known fraud. Madonna fired Tracy as her trainer, then Tracy and that guy broke up.) So all this business about the President of Malawi’s sister being fired for embezzling money from the charity may be a smokescreen – or she may have been one of many people lining their pockets with money from that charity, from the top-down.

Madonna is shown at the GLAAD Awards with Anderson Cooper on 3-16-13 and performing in November. There’s also a photo of her children, David and Mercy, in Miami in November. Credit: WENN.com

Here are some photos from Saturday night’s GLAAD Media Awards. Mama June (from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo) was there! Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was nominated for a GLAAD award because the family is incredibly pro-gay. Mama June’s brother (I think?) is gay and both Mama June and Honey Boo Boo Chile have made a number of pro-gay rights and pro-tolerance statements. Considering they live in the heart of Georgia, it’s a big deal! So it’s cool that Mama June came out and celebrated with her gay fans. She wore this tiered black dress which is… not good. But she’s showing off her weight loss, which is impressive.

Madonna was there to present an award to Anderson Cooper. Madge wore this Boy-Scout-esque costume. I guess it’s supposed to be about the Boy Scouts deciding whether or not to allow gay leaders and members, maybe?

And here’s Anderson, looking hot.

I don’t want to startle anyone, but this is what Dan Stevens (Cousin Matthew on Downton Abbey) looks like now. He lost weight and dyed his hair brown. And gained a dirt-lip. I’m sure it’s for a role or something, but he looks so gross.

Snooki and J-Woww look terrible. What happened to Snooki, for the love of God? Weight loss and new veneers?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

You know how Madonna, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are all in that Kabbalah cult, and how they used to be tight and do things like take trips to Israel together? Well not anymore. Demi and Ashton are of course over, and Madonna is very clearly taking sides. She’s not going to associate with the older party who has a penchant for dancing on tables and dating wildly inappropriate younger men. (Since she would never do that.) Madonna has decided to be friends with Ashton and not Demi, and made a very deliberate, obvious snub of Demi from her annual Oscar party. For background, Madonna and Demi co-hosted this same party in 2009. Fast forward four years and Demi isn’t even invited.

Demi Moore.. was snubbed by Madonna — who invited Demi’s soon-to-be ex-husband, Ashton Kutcher to her annual A-lister Oscar bash, rather than the actress — and RadarOnline.com has all the exclusive details.

“Madonna is firmly on side Ashton,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “She adores him and thinks that out of him and Demi he’s the one with the glittering career. Also, Madonna loves having Ashton around as he’s great eye candy, he’s funny and he flirts outrageously with her — In Madonna’s eyes, there’s no competition – when it comes to picking sides Ashton is the obvious winner!”

Demi’s absence at the star-studded bash was the talk of the night, according to one party goer, who tells Radar everyone was shocked when they saw Ashton rather than Demi walk through the door.

“When Ashton walked in it got the crowd buzzing!” The eyewitness says. “Madonna’s never spoken about the split, but it’s obvious she’s sided with him over Demi. It was kind of shocking as Demi has even hosted the party with Madonna in the past, so it’s even more of a mega snub! Madonna clearly loves Ashton though, they were dancing together a lot throughout the night and flirting up a storm!”

Madge’s party, which she holds each Academy Awards night at her manager Guy Oseary‘s mansion, was THE place to be Sunday night if you are ANYONE in the Industry.

John Travolta, Bradley Cooper, Daniel Day Lewis, Channing Tatum, Anne Hathaway, Ryan Gosling & Eva Mendes, Jack Nicholson, Selena Gomez, Salma Hayek, George Clooney and Leonardo Dicaprio were among the hundreds of Hollywood heavyweights partying till the wee hours.

However, despite the mega-star power, Madonna was — as ever — the center of attention!

[From Radar Online]

So “hundreds” of people were invited, but not Demi, who used to be tight with Madonna. That’s got to sting.

Last year Demi was in rehab and couldn’t go, and Ashton brought his girlfriend of the month, who has long since been forgotten, so this year Madonna didn’t even bother to invite Demi. I guess I don’t blame her, Demi can be incredibly embarrassing. Just consider how she behaved at Art Basel.

Oh and Demi has a new boyfriend, of course she does, but almost no one picked up that story except Perez Hilton. He’s apparently a Spanish guy who was a contestant on Big Brother in Spain and his name is Piero Righetto.

Check out Madonna below. She wore this dress to the annual Kabbalah costume party, where her boy toy, Brahim Zaibat, accompanied her shirtless. (An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated that she wore this to her Oscar party. I wouldn’t put it past her, but apparently this getup was for a costume party.) She shared this on Instagram, where she’s been put on notice by the company for posting photos of her cleavage and ass. I wish I was kidding.

Ashton and Mila are shown courtside on 2-12-13. Demi is shown at Art Basel with Terry Richardson on 12-7-12. Credit: WENN.com. She’s also shown out shopping for vitamins (really!) on 2-11-13. Madonna is shown performing on 2-1-13. Credit: FameFlynet.

Back in the day, Madonna used to do “controversial” things (for the time) involving sex and religion and race and the overwhelming subtext seemed to be “Madonna was raised in a conservative Catholic house and she’s still rebelling against all of that.” To hear Madonna talk about it, being raised a Catholic really messed her up. To hear her talk about it, no one should be raised in a rigidly dogmatic home. And then she found Kabbalah (or the celebrity version of the real Kabbalah) and she started having kids and BAM, she found a religion she could deal with. Madonna became Esther and she wore the red string and she talked about how her Kabbalah faith made her a better person. She’s raised her children inside Kabbalah – when Guy Ritchie is in New York, he even visits the Kabbalah center.

So what of Madonna’s oldest child, Lourdes? Lola has spent her life as a Kabbalist (?). And now Lola is rebelling against the dogmas of her mother’s conservative religion. The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon…

Having Madonna as your mom isn’t easy – just ask her daughter, Lourdes. The 16-year-old is in a standoff with her mother over religion.

“Madonna is very controlling and Lourdes has had it,” a source says. “She is sick and tired of her mother forcing Kabbalah on her and she’s starting to fight back.”

Madonna has been a devout follower of the Jewish teachings for years, but Lourdes wants to make her own choices – and holiday plans.

“Things came to a head over Madonna’s wish for Lourdes to spend the summer in Israel… Lourdes is horrified and told her mother there is no way she’s going.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

The whole “sending your teenage daughter to Israel” thing seems… familiar? Oh, I know why. That was a minor storyline on The Good Wife. Eli Gold didn’t want his teenage daughter to spend her summer vacation in an Israeli Kibbutz, and she blackmailed him into it, I believe. Honestly, I would love to spend a summer in Israel. That sounds like a wonderful experience to have if you’re a young woman. But I’m not Lola. Lola is rebelling! Lola is rebelling in exactly the same way her mother rebelled. No, scratch that – Madonna’s rebellion was so much more typical. Lola is one of the first kids raised solely in the celebrity Kabbalah movement. So this should get interesting.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Well, it’s been a long time coming, but Madonna is on Instagram now, which makes sense because (as I’ve learned from Rihanna), Instagram is a great place to let one’s inner narcissist fly, and Madge has already made her living in that regard over a period of decades. Basically, Madonna and all of her previous image incarnations have been waiting for social media this entire time, and she’s just now figuring out that all that hard work of re-invention could have been done so much easier through the internet. I mean, look at what Lady Gaga accomplished as far as publicity goes. She started merely walking around in weird outfits, and the photos would show up online, and voila! Instant pop star. In contrast, Madonna worked very hard to build her career starting in the early 1980s, and now she’s just now realizing that she can upload her own selfies to the internet, sit back, and wait for stuff to happen for her.

Of course, Madonna immediately posted her first selfie of an intimate moment with a cocktail and a caption that reads, “Cheers motherf***ers! I’m on instagram.” That’s not even the start of her online classiness. Next up? A photo of Madonna’s sweaty cleavage accompanied by “Addicted to sweat !!!!!” Right. As if that one wasn’t planned out well in advance, but she sure seems to have a problem with exclamation points.

Here’s another Madonna self-portrait that’s actually kind of funny. The caption reads, “Im thinking of shaving my moustache!!!!”

So basically, Madonna has found a new way to drum up attention for herself, which I guess is better than srutting around in cheerleader outfits. This next one is kind of creepy, but it’s an older photo that was uploaded by a member of Madonna’s team last fall before Madge took over the account reins. The caption reads, “Accidental punch to Madonna during “Gang Bang.’” Now, I may have lost touch with Madge’s new music over the years, but that’s a terrible song title even by the tackiest of standards.

Photos courtesy of Madonna’s Instagram

Prince is a strange cat, isn’t he? I mean, the dude looks about thirty-four years old when he’s really fifty-four. He’s also quite the erratic diva. Not only did he declare the internet to be “dead“ about two years ago, but he’s got a long history of changing his name from “Prince” to “The Artist formerly known as Prince” to some unpronouncable symbol and then back to “Prince” again. Maybe that’s where P. Diddy gets it from, right?

As odd and diva-esque as Prince often shows himself to be, he’s still an institution. I still love listening to his old tunes like “Raspberry Beret,” “Little Red Corvette,” and (my absolute favorite) “When Doves Cry.” Unfortunately, his new tunes aren’t nearly as catchy and are pretty weak. He’s got a new single out, “Screwdriver,” that proves this point. Still, Prince will always be able to sell concert tickets, and this May, he’s going to be honored honored with the 2013 Icon Award at the Billboard Music Awards. So he sat down with Billboard for an interview to promote something indefinite. I don’t know what he’s promoting, actually, because his upcoming album neither has a name nor a release date, so I guess he’s just pimping his awful new single. Here are some excerpts:

He’s very paranoid: He remains adamant about not allowing reporters to record their conversations with him. (“Some in the past have taken my voice and sold it,” he says. “I can’t remember the incident that triggered it and it’s probably best that I don’t.”) And he still frowns at the idea of a reporter taking notes. (“That would be just like texting.”)

Why he turned against his record label: “It was always about Madonna. She was getting paid, but at the same time we were selling more records and selling out concerts on multiple nights.”

On Maroon 5′s cover of “Kiss”: “Why do we need to hear another cover of a song someone else did?” he quips in the interview, noting that he has no problem with artists performing covers during live shows. “Art is about building a new foundation, not just laying something on top of what’s already there.”

[From Billboard]

Madonna and Prince have always disliked each other, and they’re both divas from the same era, so there’s definitely no surprise that they’ll never be friends, and Prince definitely is one to hold a grudge. He’s probably been stewing over their rivalry for quite some time (while Madge probably hasn’t thought of him in years), and now Prince blames her for making him dislike Warner Brothers when everyone remembers how he wrote “slave” on his face to express his true distaste with corporate music. He’s so fickle.

On the Adam Levine/Maroon 5 bit, I’m guessing that Prince isn’t so much offended that someone remade his song as the fact that he didn’t get a cut of the profits. There’s nothing wrong with a well-covered song (lately, I’ve been going crazy after reaquainting myself with Marilyn Manson’s take on The Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams”), but I can also see why Maroon 5 would fail to impress Prince.

Here are some photos of Prince performing in France in 2010 and 2011. He’s got a great stage presence even if he is an incorrigible grouch.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Billboard