Madonna’s friends are incredibly worried about her after the singer told her assistant to get all the presents Guy Ritchie ever gave her so she can bury them. Apparently this signals a major meltdown: I call it moving on. Aren’t you supposed to set fire to it or something? Madge doesn’t really seem the sentimental sort, and I assumed she was just cleaning house. But her friends seem to think otherwise and are worried that she can barely function.

On the heels of a British report that Madonna has asked her assistant to gather all the items she received from Guy Ritchie so she can bury them, a source close to the Material Girl says that friends are worried Madonna is in “full meltdown mode.”

“In recent years she’s really relied on her Kabbalah advisors, but more for big decisions. She’s barely functioning without a consult at this point,” says the source.

What does this mean for the singer’s friendship with Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez?

“Madonna’s going through some tough times, but she’s still planning a trip to Malawi when the divorce is finalized and her tour is over, and she still expects A-Rod to come on the trip with her,” says the source. “There’s very much a deep relationship there, even when she’s going through what she is now.”

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

I have a hard time imaging Madonna having any sentimentality or even feelings. I know she must because supposedly everyone does, but she’s so cold and hard that all I can do is think of her dancing around a bonfire cackling evilly to herself while she burns everything Guy ever gave her, sat on, looked at, or might have gotten his Guy germs on.

Clearly Madonna moved on from this relationship months ago and is already pretty deeply into A-Rod. Why are her people continuing to try to put out all these “Poor, helpless Madonna” rumors? Yeah she looks like a jerk compared to him, but I don’t think any garbage about how sad she is will help. It’s like if someone pointed at a slab of concrete and said, “See that chunk of cold hard stuff? It’s really sad because that rock over there doesn’t love it anymore.” And then you see that the concrete is snickering because you bought it. And it sorta looks like Madonna, except that it has more personality and warmth.

Here’s Madonna and Lourdes exiting the Kabbalah Center in Midtown Manhattan where Lourdes was reportedly having her Bat Mitzvah on October 10th. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

It’s not surprising that Madonna has a lot of rage built up in her. She seems like the very angry, bitter, petty, spiteful sort. Not to be too descriptive or anything. Apparently Madonna’s rage at Guy Ritchie is so severe that she’s in anger management at the Kabbalah centre in New York. And why shouldn’t she be seething with bile? She’s obviously the victim in this whole thing.

MADONNA is having intense Kabbalah “anger management” counselling to deal with her fury against GUY RITCHIE — as the couple’s bitter divorce takes its toll. The 50-year-old singer, who was last night in Montreal for a concert on her world tour, is expected to head back to New York this weekend to visit the city’s Kabbalah Centre.

She also has a counsellor from the mystical Jewish faith who accompanies her on the road to help handle her boiling rage over the split. Sources say Madge — mum to daughter Lourdes, 12, son Rocco, eight, and adopted tot David Banda — is furious over Guy’s money demands and the way ugly details of their relationship have leaked out.

“She is getting help from a Kabbalah counsellor who is helping her try to put aside her anger, so they can settle the divorce as quickly as possible for the sake of the children. The counsellor is telling her she will meet her soulmate — but first has to calm her anger.”

One pal said: “Madonna feels that Guy is being a gold-digger, and she is furious that he feels entitled to a lot of money from her. She feels he didn’t contribute as much as her during the marriage so shouldn’t expect to take so much away. She has turned to Kabbalah to sooth her rage, and is getting intense counselling on the road and at the Kabbalah Centre in New York.”

Madge was seen leaving the Centre last week during a brief break from her gruelling Sticky & Sweet tour. Kabbalah teaches that to find a real soulmate a person must put aside anger and will to win in a relationship — and become a better person. Its relationship advice reads: “Difficulties and disagreements are without exception opportunities for us to become that right person.”

[From the Sun]

I seriously doubt there are very many people that would be willing to deal with the inherent misery that would come with spending any amount of time with Madonna – for any amount of money. Let alone men that would want to marry her. I know there’s a couple out there, but I think they must have some serious issues and want to be degraded and treated with cold abandon. Madonna was lucky to be able to find a guy who brought about twenty million dollars into the relationship. She should expect that she’ll have to buy off whoever she ends up with in some way.

And wasn’t she the one who started talking shit about her marriage the very day they announced their divorce? Clearly she has some anger issues – they’re so severe that she has to put them on everyone else because she can’t handle how much blame should be aimed at herself. Luckily mystical Kabbalah will help sort it all out.

Here’s Madonna arriving at the New York Kabbalah centre with her kids last night. Images thanks to WENN.

Madonna and Lourdes on 7/23/08. Credit: Fame Pictures

Madonna is such a legendary control freak that it’s really unfair she gets to live a lifestyle that indulges that mindset. Though the rest of us have to learn to get along in the world without having absolutely every little thing our way, Madonna has been able to buy her way into getting whatever she wants. Case in point: she wants to control Guy Ritchie’s access to their children, so she can have it constantly be however she wants it. That way she’ll never have to acquiesce or even be somewhat considerate of another person’s needs. And in order to get what she wants, Madge is willing to throw another $10 million into the divorce pot.

Madonna has offered Guy Ritchie an additional £5million to dictate his access rights to their three children. The singer has agreed to increase the lump sum cash payment he will get in their divorce from £15million to £20million if he backs down from a court battle over Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and David Banda, three.

Legal sources said last night that Mr Ritchie would be well-advised to take the offer since Madonna as their mother would be seen as primary carer. As such, a British judge would most probably rule the children should live with her in New York rather than in England with Guy.

‘Madonna has said to Guy that if she ups the money, then would he agree to her setting out the access for the children until they turn 18. What she is basically saying is that if Guy wants this to go to court, she will get what she wants anyway. Basically she is offering a cash incentive to him to encourage an amicable out-of-court agreement over the children.. Madonna is keen to give Guy good access to the children – but on her terms,’ a source said.

‘Guy wants the children to be educated in Britain – especially his beloved Rocco – but his lawyers will be advising him that if Madonna moves to New York and wants the children with her, a judge is likely to agree.’ Ritchie spent yesterday mulling over the offer with his lawyers.

The offer also contains a clause which will effectively attempt to gag Ritchie and his family from talking about the marriage break-down. Access to the children is the only area of the split Guy and Madonna are now at loggerheads over.

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m curious how Madonna could possibly gag Guy’s family from saying anything about their marriage. She didn’t marry them, and they’re entitled to say whatever they want. Unless she has in some way supported them or is trying to bribe their silence, she doesn’t have the tiniest ability to make them keep their mouths shut. And that shouldn’t have a thing to do with their custody arrangement.

It goes to show was a control freak she is – to think she wants to keep her in-laws from saying anything negative about her. Quick piece of advice Madge: if you’re so worried about people talking shit about you, stop doing so many shitty things for people to talk about. It would, however, be nice if the judge ordered Madonna and her PR team to be gagged. Their shit-talking has reached epic levels.

Guy Ritchie and his son Rocco out on 9/30/08. Credit: Big Pictures/Bauergriffin

In case you haven’t heard, Madonna is divorcing Guy Ritchie, her husband of over seven years. One of the many issues contributing to the divorce is Madonna’s alleged affair with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. While there’s no doubt the demise of the marriage started long before Madonna’s late night “meetings” with A-Rod, there’s no way it’s not a sore spot for Ritchie.

Madonna lives for attention, it sustains her sense of self-worth. She didn’t argue with Warren Beatty in Truth or Dare when he said that she doesn’t want to live off camera and that there’s nothing she wants to say if she’s not being filmed. It’s the driving force in her life, and it doesn’t matter whom she hurts, or how badly she hurts them. So, in the midst of a divorce that few believe has more important things at stake to Guy Ritchie than his kids, Madonna decided to hit him where it would hurt the most. Rocco Ritchie was photgraphed dressed in a New York Yankees shirt on Monday, and the the blatant use of his son to get to him drove the otherwise macho Guy to tears.

“He’s actually been crying over it,” says the source on the set of Ritchie’s upcoming drama Sherlock Holmes. “He’s in a terrible state but is doing his best to be on form at work.”

The insider tells Us Ritchie “cannot believe” Madonna would let their son wear the shirt, given the fact that her close relationship with the slugger played a role in their contentious divorce.

“Madonna has hit the wrong button,” adds the insider. “He won’t sink to her level, but she better watch out because it seems he has a lot on her.”

[From Us Magazine]

It doesn’t even matter if, in his innocence, that was the shirt Rocco wanted to wear that day. A decent woman would have made sure it didn’t happen. But Madonna is proving anything but decent in this unfortunate situation, doing things daily to get herself in the papers with ugly words and actions. Madonna put the little guy in that shirt and then made sure he was somewhere where there was a camera. There’s very little someone can do in a divorce that’s more dispicable than using the children to hurt the other party.

I’m starting to worry about those kids because I’m wondering how low Madonna is willing to go in this and how much further she plans to take things. She’s not scoring any public points, but maybe this is the new incarnation of Madonna shocking the world.

Boy Madonna’s “let’s slam the crap out of Guy Ritchie” PR machine is really working overtime. Apparently they couldn’t handle Madge getting anything less than goddess-level worshipping in the press, so they’ve started a full-fledged campaign to smear Guy as badly as possible. The problem is that though Ritchie has certainly said a few negative things about Madonna, they were utterly believable. Like the comment about how being with Madge was like “cuddling up with a piece of gristle.” That’s the most hysterically accurate thing I’ve ever heard said about Madonna.

But her camp is saying that Ritchie has said truly horrible things to her and her children, and was using her the whole time.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage was plagued by physical and emotional abuse in recent years, friends of the couple reveal in the latest issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.

“She would taunt Guy, saying, ‘I should have married someone like me: strong, hot-blooded, intelligent, ambitious, spiritual,’” reveals a Ritchie source. “Their fights would often get heated. A few times Madonna slapped him or poked him.”

His reaction? “Guy called her old, fat, ugly and wrinkled and said that she was stupid and couldn’t sing,” another Madonna pal tells Us.

Meanwhile, a source tells Us Ritchie has already entered a relationship with British actress Kelly Reilly, who is starring in his upcoming drama Sherlock Holmes.

On Oct. 18 – three days after he announced he and Madonna were divorcing – he sent his driver back to his $12 million home in London’s Marylebone district “very last-minute” to pack an overnight bag for a stay at a nearby Chatham hotel — where Reilly is residing.

[From Us Weekly]

Obviously no one’s going to get out of this divorce with their dignity intact. Heaven forbid anyone consider the feelings of the three children involved in all this, and that it might not make them feel great to read such things about their parents.

People say a lot of things they don’t mean when they fight – and even worse is when they say things they do mean. Regardless of the intent, it’s plain these two should have split up a long time ago. They haven’t don’t their family any favors by exposing them to this kind of despicable behavior.

Here’s Madonna and David at the New York Kabbalah centre on September 30th. Photographer: Hugh Dillon. Images thanks to WENN.

According to the upcoming issue of US Weekly, Guy Ritchie, 40, has been not-so-secretly seeing an actress in the film he’s currently directing, Sherlock Holmes. Lovely English redhead Kelly Reily, 31, is nearly 20 years younger than his estranged wife, and is likely a world apart from the fiercely competitive singer. We’ll have to wait for more details, but the NY Post says that US Weekly claims they’re an item:

GUY Ritchie has already moved on. If you believe Us Weekly, Madonna’s soon-to-be ex has taken up with British actress Kelly Reilly , who’s in his “Sherlock Holmes” (filming now with Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock). Ritchie demanded a divorce earlier this month after Page Six reported Madge and Alex Rodriguez had dinner at Dos Caminos on Third Avenue. The new kabbalah couple are so tight, the Yankee slugger has registered his car and given a photo to managers of Madonna’s Central Park West building, so he can visit at will.

[From the NY Post]

Meanwhile Madonna and Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, 33, are heating things up. She dressed their son Rocco, 8, in a NY Yankees t-shirt, which was thought to be an obvious sign to Ritchie that she’s with A-Rod. Life & Style is set to report that the two are planning a long weekend together in Miami, where they’ll rent a house:

US reports claim the 50-year-old Queen of Pop is making secret plans to meet up with Rodriguez next month.

Sources told Life & Style magazine the pair hope to share a long weekend in a Miami bolt-hole.

One said: “Madonna’s team has be gun scouting homes for rent. She and Alex are definitely aiming to get together before Christmas.”

[From The Sun]

There are also reports that Rodriguez plans to buy an $80 million penthouse two blocks from Madonna’s place in NY. It’s possible many of these stories are complete crap, but if there’s any truth to the rumor that he’s purchasing a place near hers, they are likely more than just cult study buddies.

I really couldn’t care less if Madonna is with A-Rod, but if Guy is getting some breakup consolation from this actress I would love to see photos of them out together – if only for the potential to enrage her Madgesty.

Kelly Reilly is shown at the “Awards Of The London Film Critics Circle (ALFS)” in London on 2/8/06. Guy Ritchie is shown on 9/1/08 at the RockNRolla premiere. Credit: WENN

Perez Hilton claims to have an exclusive from Madonna’s friends who are sick and disgusted with the way poor Madge has been treated in the press. They claim Madonna is the real victim in her relationship with estranged husband Guy Ritchie. Why? According to them, Guy is a notorious gold digger, and only married Madonna for her money. I don’t care the amount of cash we’re talking about, that’s a hell of a long time to be married to Madonna for anything.

They claim Guy never contributed to any of their joint expenses, and this makes him a terrible, terrible person. It seems like it’d be a little pointless, since she’s worth about half a billion dollars and his net wealth is relatively paltry.

Madonna’s friends and business associates have HAD ENOUGH with Guy Ritchie and his camp spreading lies and misinformation about the Queen of Pop….and they’re finally speaking out! PerezHilton.com just spoke exclusively to numerous people VERY close to Madonna. What you are about to read is the truth.

Insiders tell us…. When Guy Ritchie was first introduced to Madonna, by Sting & Trudie Styler, he had a very rich girlfriend by the name of Rebecca Green. Guy had a reputation of being a golddigger and he definitely lived up to that when he dumped his girlfriend of four years, Rebecca, for the much much richer Madonna. “For his entire marriage to M, Guy lived like a king,” one of our many close Madonna sources tell us. “He never spent a dime of his own money for their lifestyle or the children.” He never spent any money, even though he did have some money of his own. It’s not as if he was a personal trainer.

In fact, sources tell us, Guy insisted that Madonna purchase a 1,200 hundred acre estate for him, fund million dollar holidays and fly him around on private jets to accommodate[sic] his fear of flying.

“Madonna finally got fed up with him never being around and being used and filed for a divorce,” an impeccable source tells us. “Guy has threatened to go after half of M’s hard-earned money, claiming that the law is on his side. He doesn’t care that the world thinks of him as Heather Mills. He doesn’t care that he has his own money and doesn’t need hers. He feels he is entitled to half of her empire.”

Guy continues to live in the London house Madonna bought, ordering the staff around while she is on tour and pretending that he is the good, simple, family man only interested in his children and the countryside. “Guy Ritchie is a fake and a phoney,” says one of Madonna’s confidants, clearly hurt by the way Ritchie has treated her. “He is not a macho man. Not an English lad. Not a gentleman. Not spiritual. He’s just a money-hungry gold digger that doesn’t want to earn his way.”

[From Perez Hilton]

Perez notes that Madonna’s friend says she’s absolutely devastated. It sounds like she’s just continuing her campaign of being as spiteful as possible, and having people go directly to the blogs on her behalf. Honestly I think all the examples of how horrible Guy Ritchie supposedly is just makes Madonna look even worse. She’s got so much money that if she really cares who pays for what, it makes her come off as petty more than him come off as a gold digger.

There is no way most people could be convinced that Madonna is a victim in anything. To say she’s worn the pants in every relationship is a pretty big understatement. I think this just shows exactly how far she’s willing to go to try to control not just her relationships but all the gossip about her as well.

Header is from the Rock N Rolla premiere on 9/1/08. Credit: Solarpix/PRPhotos. Footer is of Madonna in concert at Whembley stadium on 9/11/08. Credit: Landmark/PRPhotos.

Gwyneth Paltrow seems like she takes a lot of advice from older Madonna. She married a British guy after Madonna did, she was introduced to her shyster physical trainer by Madonna, and judging from the latest photos of her on the red carpet she’s even taking fashion guidance from the pop star. Gwyneth has even been seen popping into the Kabbalah Centre, but wisely seems to have decided not to become a member of the cult.

It’s doubtful that Madonna takes advice from people who don’t wear a red string on their wrist and/or charge her tens of thousands for some prepackaged brand of manufactured wisdom. But if anyone can get through to the small sliver of human frailty that’s left in Madonna’s paper-thin soul, it’s Gwyneth. It was rumored that Gwyneth was trying to talk Madonna out of divorcing her husband of eight years, Guy Ritchie, for the sake of her children. Now that it’s a done deal, Gwyneth says she’s there for Madonna on the other end of the phone, and that she talks to her “a lot”:

Gwyneth Paltrow is helping Madonna get through her divorce from Guy Ritchie.

“You know, she’s a dear friend, and I’m supporting her in all [the] ways that I can,” Paltrow, 36, told Usmagazine.com at the Two Lovers Premiere in London Monday.

“I’m just here for her,” Paltrow added. “I’m just here on the other end of the phone, really.”

Paltrow says she’s been in constant contact with her pal.

“I speak to her a lot,” she said.

[From US Weekly]

Whatever helps Madonna get through her divorce is fine, as long as she settles into a long retirement with about half of the income she’s made over the past decade. Paltrow would do well to fade into obscurity too, but if she’s learned anything from Madonna we’ll be seeing a lot more of her no matter how her life circumstances change.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s haughty lifestyle website, Goop, has not been updated in the month since it was first launched with only a personal statement from Gwyneth and some pastel icons. The actress chided us to take control of our lives and make more time for ourselves. She did not see the irony in telling people with far less resources and no staff at their command that they should “make [their] life good” by doing more for themselves and not being “lazy.”

Gwyneth Paltrow is shown at The Times BFI London Film Festival Two Lovers premiere at the Odeon West End on 10/20/08. Credit: WENN

Guy Ritchie has accused soon-to-be ex-wife Madonna of being such a control freak that she’s been spying on him since the two officially separated. Guy was said to be livid after the private details of their divorce negotiations were recently leaked. He thinks Madge is using her staff to keep tabs on him and report back to her – which frankly doesn’t surprise him, since she’s always been so controlling.

ANGRY GUY RITCHIE believes MADONNA is SPYING on him during their break-up. Guy, 40, was furious that details of a private divorce “war summit” were leaked to his wife, The Sun can reveal. He believes the pop queen is using her huge staff to report his every move. Guy has slammed what he calls Madonna’s underhand tactics. He has even compared her approach to their split as being like “something concocted by the KGB”, raging at her: “This is a divorce, not the Cold War.”

A close family friend said yesterday: “Any hopes Guy had of their divorce being private and dignified are well and truly out the window. The allegations he was a cruel and neglectful husband have torn him apart so much that he invited his father and sister to the house on the weekend for dinner. They discussed the divorce and how Guy could stand his ground against the Goliath that is Madonna and her PR machine.”

But the friend said Guy was stunned to discover Madonna, 50, knew about the dinner and had been keeping tabs on him for days. The source said: “When Guy found out he lost the plot. “He said, ‘How can you set fire to our whole world? Why go to such lengths to destroy me?’ But Guy knows it would be unusual if Madonna wasn’t monitoring his every move. She is a control freak and there’s so much at stake.”

Madonna said Guy “emotionally abandoned her” and her friends said he reduced his stepdaughter LOURDES to tears with a comment about her “becoming a woman”.

[From The Sun]

That last comment is really odd. The article goes on to say what a doting and devoted father Guy is. If there’s any truth that he said that, it can easily be misconstrued and taken out of context. Dads (and stepdads) can be insensitive towards what girls go through as they’re “becoming a woman” without meaning to be. There’s no way to know what his intent was, and the article doesn’t explain it. I think whichever one of Madonna’s people let that little anecdote slip did it hoping it would prove to be highly inflammatory – which it might well end up being.

I doubt Guy legally has any influence over if he gets to spend time with Lourdes. He’s her stepdad and never adopted her, so I would guess any time he spends with her from now on will be at Madonna’s discretion. All of their kids have slightly different parent situations, with son Rocco being the only one that is biologically theirs together. David is legally both of theirs, but it’s been often stated that Guy did not want to adopt him. I guess we’ll see how true that is depending on how their custody situation plays out.

I don’t know why, but I expected better from Madonna in this situation. She’s made such a big deal about being spiritual and all this growth she’s supposedly gone through over the last ten years. Yet instead she’s being as petty and spiteful as a teenager. And doing a similar about of gossipy backstabbing. It would be nice if somehow their lawyers at least managed to get this over with as quickly as possible, for the children’s sake.

Here’s an absolutely frightening picture of Guy Ritchie and Madonna at the ‘Rocknrolla’ world premiere in London on September 1st. Photographer: Vince Maher. Images thanks to WENN.

When I look at Madonna I don’t see someone who is incredibly maternal. By pretty much all accounts she’s a cold woman. But according to the Daily Mail she has once again become obsessed with the idea of having a “natural” (as they put it) child – all because of how much she loves Alex Rodriguez. And it sounds like A-Rod’s jut as into her – he’s planning on buying a penthouse apartment two blocks from hers in Manhattan (or “next door” as the Daily Mail puts it).

Madonna’s ‘soulmate’ Alex Rodriguez is weeks away from buying a New York penthouse apartment two blocks from the superstar’s – in a bid to be close to her. The 33-year-old millionaire baseball player is to buy the Central Park West penthouse, worth an estimated £40million. ‘Alex knows that this is a difficult time for Madonna, especially as she has children,’ a source said.

‘So he thought this was the best way to be close to her without being too intrusive. He is completely into her and willing to be patient while she sorts everything out. ‘All he cares about is just being close to her,’ a source added. Rodriguez is in the final stages of sealing the deal on his lavish four-bedroom pad. The building is home to many stars, including Sting – who, ironically, introduced Guy Ritchie to Madonna in 1998.

Meanwhile Madonna, 50, is hoping she can have a natural child with Rodriguez, despite her age. The singer is planning her future with the American baseball player, it emerged last night. There is no suggestion that Madonna has to date had a physical relationship with Rodriguez. However, a friend said: ‘She thinks he’s physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her.’

[From the Daily Mail]

According to the Mail A-Rod has made all sorts of asinine promises to Madge about what he’ll do for her once they’re together. This includes, “spread[ing] the Kabbalah philosophy around the world,” “writ[ing] a range of sports-themed books to bring the message of Kabbalah to young boys,” join[ing] her on a ‘spiritual’ trip to Malawi,” and “promis[ing] a gift to her of a his-and-hers gym complex near her Manhattan apartment.”

Totally normal and common to all healthy relationships. I should have known things weren’t going to work out with my ex when he never promised me his-and-hers gyms. If that’s not a sign of a doomed relationship, I’d like to know what is.

Apparently Madonna also has a five point plan of ways to test A-Rod to see if he’s really the one she’s meant to be with. It’s pretty narcissitic, self-indulgent, and creepy. So essentially what you’d expect from Madonna. In involves things like making sure Rodriguez really sees her as spiritual being and notices what jewelry she wears.

If nothing else, at least Madge is being smarter about this relationship, and making sure it’s really built on a solid foundation.

Here’s Madonna arriving at the New York Kabbalah centre on Saturday. Photographer: Anthony Dixon. Images thanks to WENN.