Kirstie Alley might be gracing our television screens with her trademark sneer again soon. Dateline is reporting that she’s about to get a pilot sitcom on ABC called “The Manzinis.” The concept is an updated version of Rosanne, with Alley as the wise-cracking matriarch. I’m not buying it, but I guess Alley earned enough fans and newfound fame on Dancing With the Stars to attempt to revive her acting career. She still bugs me, and I’m not likely to watch this. Here’s the news from Deadline:

Following her memorable run on Dancing With the Stars last spring, Kirstie Alley is returning to ABC as the star of a new comedy project. I’ve learned that ABC is finalizing the deals for a pilot order to The Manzanis, a multi-camera family comedy written by sitcom veterans Marco Pennette and Dave Flebotte, with Alley attached to star. ABC Studios and studio-based Brillstein Entertainment are producing. The sitcom is described as a new take on Roseanne, and stars Alley as a very opinionated wife/mother who, along with her family, the Manzanis, moves to repressed country-club town. Pennette and Flebotte are executive producing with Brillstein’s new TV president JoAnn Alfano. Also expected to executive produce are Aaron Kaplan (Good Christian Belles) and Alley’s manager Jason Weinberg.

The Manzanis was originally developed two years ago at Brillstein under then-TV president Peter Traugott. It was a contender again this past season but ultimately didn’t go to pilot. Then about a month ago, UTA, which represents the project, approached ABC topper Paul Lee, who was open to picking up the comedy if Alley would come onboard to star. Pennette did a rewrite on the script to have the main character better reflect Alley’s voice, and the script was given to the actress, also a UTA client, who just recently read it and liked it.

[From Deadline]

Did you see Kirstie on The Late Show last reading off all the jokes that David Letterman had told about her weight? She wasn’t bad, but I was distracted by her helmet hair and bright purple dress. I didn’t watch her whole interview, but CBS had up another clip where she tried to demonstrate to Dave what NY city clubs are like by bumping and grinding against him while he stood there looking bewilidered.

The good news is that this is a pilot so it might not result in a full series pickup. No matter the status of this show, Alley isn’t going away anytime soon. I reluctantly checked her obnoxious Twitter accounta nd she mentioned that she’s also working on a book. “Wait till my book comes out.. It’s all about Mens….ya gotta love Mens…they are priceless…;)”

Alley already has a book out, 2005′s How To Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life: Reluctant Confessions of a Big-Butted Star. Many reviewers noted that while the book was funny, the title was misleading and it didn’t have much information about her battle with her weight or any diet advice. For that you have to buy her expensive weight loss program, which bears a suspicious resemblance to the vitamins and supplements used in Scientology rituals. On the website for Kirstie’s program, Organic Liaison, (site has automatic video) she’s still claiming to be a size 6.

After I wrote all that, Kaiser pointed me to this new story in The NY Post which heavily suggests that her dance partner, Maksim, fled to Europe to get the hell away from her. They don’t outright state that the two were having an affair, but it’s implied. I just don’t see these two bumping uglies, but I could be wrong. Kirstie would definitely try.

First of all, it should be against the law to use “Over the Rainbow” for a show like Dancing With the Stars (or Glee, for that matter). That song is gorgeous, and it shouldn’t be used for something so down-market. Have some respect, people! Anyway, Kirstie Alley chose “Over the Rainbow” for last night’s dance on Dancing With the Stars. The celebrities were instructed to choose a song that had personal meaning to them. Kirstie chose the song because it reminded her of moving to LA and her mother’s death, and after she told the story, she and Maksim Chmerkovskiy began their dance. Just a few seconds into it, Maks choked. Well… not choked, per se, but he definitely seemed injured:

Maks went on to tell the judges that his “thigh just gave out. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry… It has nothing to do with her.” They still got 21 points (out of 30), making me think that despite the injury and the technically poor performance, Kirstie is one of the fan favorites, and producers are trying to ensure that Kirstie and Maks stick around.

Also – while I’m happy for Kristie and I’m surprised and pleased that she’s doing so well and that she can move so well, I just have one criticism: please put Kirstie in some more biscuit-covering ensembles, please. Every time she twirled, the dress came up and we could see that she was wearing little more than a pair of bikini underpants. Give her more coverage, for the love of God.

photos courtesy of Fame.

Last week’s shocking result on Dancing with the Stars has excited passionate responses from all over. A man in Wisconsin was arrested after shooting his television in anger over Bristol Palin’s performance, for goodness’ sake.

Now there’s a major feud spilling over between Bristol and ousted dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Maks is upset because he and his partner Brandy were voted off last week despite having higher judges’ scores than Bristol.

There are many theories about Bristol’s continued success.

One theory is that Bristol is being rewarded for her improvement throughout the course of the season, especially since she’s not a professional performer like Brandy is.

Despite criticism of her weight and her dancing, Bristol says her confidence is higher than ever.

I wasn’t very confident going into it. I wasn’t sure I could do it. But now I’m like, “Oh, you want me to do a paso doble? I’ll get out there and do it!” I feel so confident knowing I can do whatever I want! … I guarantee I’m the most-improved dancer on the entire show. I really do work my butt off — I’m in the studio all the time, and I’m so committed to this thing.

[In Touch, print edition, November 29, 2010]

On his blog, Maks disagrees that Bristol is the most improved.

I think under the given circumstance, if we went home because Brandy had more performing experience or America liked someone who improved, then Kyle should win. Jennifer has been a phenomenon from the beginning and while Bristol has improved, she hasn’t improved as much as Kyle and is not as good a dancer as either of them. Kyle has the full package. He has drastically improved since the beginning of the season, is a blast to watch and knows how to put on a show-stopping performance. He is a true entertainer. Of course, it comes down to the votes in the end.

[From TVGuide.com]

Another theory is that the Tea Party’s votes are keeping Bristol on the show despite being the weakest dancer.

Maks criticizes the popular vote.

Is the voting system flawed? If it is, what exactly can I do? I do care a lot about the show — I want that to be clear. I want dancing on TV. As long as people are dancing, let viewers see them dance. I’m just happing that this platform is represented. I believe the majority of people out there knows good dancing from bad. If one person goes on the show and stays on because of an obscene amount of fans, that’s on their conscience. People know what they see and no amount of votes can change that.

[From TVGuide.com]

But the claws really came out when Bristol was asked if some of the dancers have been mean to her.

Brandy’s partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, does not like me! He thinks I don’t deserve to be here because I’m not the best dancer, but this is what the show is all about — taking someone who has never performed, never danced, never done anything like that and turning them into a dancer and showing that process.

[In Touch, print edition, November 29, 2010]

In response, Maks calls Bristol a liar.

I was very disappointed, shocked and hurt to hear that Bristol told a magazine that I don’t like her. It’s a complete and absolute lie what she said. I have no idea where she got that from. I never ever said I don’t like her — nevermind the fact that it’s not true that I don’t like her. The only thing I’ve said about her is that I think she should embrace the show more when she got homesick — which is something I would say to every celebrity who comes on the show and has a low point midseason. I have nothing against Bristol, the Palins, politics, the tea party and whatnot. I respect what she’s done on the show and her place in the final.

[From TVGuide.com]

Win or lose, Bristol hopes girls learn a positive lesson from her appearance.

I’m probably the only girl on the show who needs wardrobe to help pull dresses over my butt. But I’m thankful I have a butt! I’m a regular-size girl, and I accept that. I’m comfortable in my own skin….The process has shown me — and hopefully other young girls out there — that you don’t have to be the sexiest one or wear sleazy outfits to do well.

[In Touch, print edition, November 29, 2010]

The finals of Dancing with the Stars begins Monday on ABC.

Maksim is shown on 8/29/10. Credit: Glenn Harris / PR Photos. Bristol is shown on 10/16/10. Credit: Carla Van Wagoner / PR Photos

Admittedly, I have little knowledge of Dancing with the Stars. In fact, all I know I gleaned from the 3 hours I watched in the past 2 days. But seriously, Bristol Palin should have gone home.

Instead, former NFL Super Bowl MVP with seven kids Kurt Warner did the Dance of Shame and was sent packing.

Warner isn’t in the same league as Jennifer Grey and Brandy as far as musicality and he doesn’t have the charisma of Kyle Massey. In fact, everyone pretty much knew either Kurt or Bristol was going home last night. Of the two, Bristol looked the most uncomfortable during her dance. Kurt was consistent throughout his dance, while Bristol looked self-conscious at times, as if she realized she looked silly. That’s not a dis — I’m self-conscious like that. But watch Brandi’s commitment to emotion throughout her dances: she doesn’t feel silly and therefore looks great.

I don’t feel like recapping what the judges said about Kurt or Bristol, but suffice to say, Bristol was in last place after the judges’ votes. Therefore she must have received more popular votes from viewers to keep her on the show. How is this possible? One theory: the Tea Partiers are helping Bristol like they helped the Republicans win back control of the House of Representatives.

I think the final two will be Brandy and Jennifer, deservedly so, but I also suspect the popular votes will keep Bristol around at least another week and Kyle will go home next week, which is a shame, because he did a great job with the Insta-Dance jive and he has a great attitude and personality.

In other news, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who said bullying helped him become a success, continued being a bit of a douche-bag by screwing up his apology to the fans and contestants for bitching at Carrie Ann Inaba the night before. Maksim said he was going back to being cool, but then told Carrie-Ann, “Let’s do our jobs.” Host Tom Bergeron quipped, “So being cool lasted 12 seconds.”

The semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars airs Monday on ABC.

NOTE BY KAISER: Also interesting – Page Six has a story today about how Bristol and her dancing partner Mark Ballas are probably boning. Fascinating.

Honesty time: I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, but I’m going to suck it up and try to watch for the sake of my…ahem…art. Apparently, this Maksim Chmerkovskiy guy is quite the heartthrob. He doesn’t really rock my boat, but I don’t judge. I know a lot of people don’t understand my attraction to Orlando Bloom. He’s just so pretty!

But back to Maksim. First off, he’s still on the show. His partner is Brandy. He’s not the one who’s been out and about holding hands with Bristol Palin. He was engaged to fellow DwtS dancer Karina Smirnoff for a time and reportedly hooked up with former partner Erin Andrews. I’m not sure about his relationship status now.

Bullying is a hot topic, and Maks he says he was bullied as a kid for being a dancer.

The 30-year-old was born in the USSR but his family immigrated to the US when he was 14, where he had problems making friends due to the language barrier and his love of dance.

“I was always small and skinny. I’d sit at the back of the room in school because I didn’t have many friends, because I had different interests….There was the usual sexuality-related stuff, people calling me gay. When I’d say I danced, people would act like I was diseased. Halloween sucked for me, as my windows would be egged. It hurt and was very upsetting.

I was absolutely picked on. When we moved to the U.S., my second day I was beaten up and had my roller blades stolen. I was 14. But all that was an invaluable lesson to me in determination. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, November 15, 2010]

Maks credits his family with helping him through the bullying, but also thanks the same kids who bullied him.

“I went out a few months ago and ran into some kids I went to school with who were in cliques I didn’t belong to. The guys came up to me and said, ‘Maks, mad respect! We always knew you’d make it.’ I was like, ‘That’s funny. When you bullied me for my lunch money, it didn’t sound like you were respecting me.’ They apologized. I credit my success to the kids who beat me up!

Bullying is upsetting and shameful, but the shame is on the bully. My advice is to find a place you can go to where you feel you belong…Change your environment if you have to. Start over. Your life has too much of a price to throw it away!”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, November 15, 2010]

It seems like Maks is jumping on the “Famous People Who Were Also Bullied” bandwagon, basically telling kids being bullied to suck it up like he did and turn it into a positive experience. If YouTube and Facebook has existed 15 years ago when was being bullied, he may realize that bullying can be more severe when it also ends up online for everyone to see.

On the other hand, he does reinforce the “It Gets Better” message, which can be helpful to teens who think high school is the eternal ninth circle of hell. At least that’s what it was like for me, until I left for college. College didn’t change me from a geek to a swan, but like Maks said, I found other geeks like me to hang around with.

As for Maks, he competes tonight on Dancing with the Stars on ABC, where they will do the “insta-dance.” This means the couples won’t find out which song they’ll be dancing to until they’re on the dance floor.

Photos courtesy of WENN. Note by Kaiser: He has a really tiny head!

Dancing with The Stars couple Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff broke off their engagement and split up earlier this month after dating for about a year. Both Maksim, 29, and Karina, 31, are professional dancers originally from the Ukraine. Before Maksim and Karina split up they committed to performing together at this year’s Emmys. They were consummate professionals and went through with the performance, a sexy fast-moving number with a team of backup dancers. It went off without a hitch and you couldn’t tell that there were any problems between them. This is especially impressive in light of the fact that they were said to be loudly screaming at each other backstage:

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff may have looked fab onstage, but things weren’t quite in step behind the scenes.

An insider reports the ex-couple exchanged some heated words before and after their performance.

“They were going at it, screaming at each other,” an eyewitness tells me. “He said she was taking too long in hair and makeup. It got kind of loud.”

Backstage at the Lipton Green Vitali Tea gift lounge, questions about the breakup were off-limits, but Karina said she couldn’t be happier with their dance routine…

“It was nerve-racking, especially when we heard the announcer say, ‘From Dancing With the Stars…,’ ” Karina just told me. “My heart jumped out a couple of times, but then I was like, ‘Enjoy this because how often do you get to perform at the Emmys.’

“And then it just felt like it went very fast,” she continued. “I wanted to do it a couple of more times to really get into it.”

What she did really get into was the swag. Karina checked out products from Nespresso, Palm Pixi, FlipMinoHD, AMC and the very expensive Santoni shoe line..

[From E! Online]

The ninth season of Dancing With the Stars premieres tonight. Maksim is paired with actress Debi Mazar and Karina’s partner is singer Aaron Carter. Both Maksim and Karina have won second place with their celebrity partners on the show; Karina was a runner up on the third season with Mario López and Maksim placed second in season five with Melanie B. I doubt either of them are going to win with their new partners, but you can never guess who will bring it on DWTS until you see the performances, and that’s why people love it.

It’s got to suck to have to deal with your ex at work although these two don’t really have to see each other during the week apart for the performances from what I understand. Now that their Emmys performance is over they’ll be able to avoid each other for a while. That’s all going to change once Dancing With The Stars goes on tour. That’s why they have all those sayings about not dating people from work. My favorite is “don’t sh*t where you eat.”