Mario Lopez, who by some misguided soul at People Magazine just got named their bachelor of the year, says that he would be with Eva Longoria now if they’d ever been single at the same time.

Lopez says, “We never dated. Unfortunately. We met a long time ago, and she was always with somebody or I was with somebody. But we hit it off and I have the utmost respect for her.

“Tony Parker is a lucky guy. I was in (sic) her wedding. I walked her mum down the aisle.”

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Now Mario, it might have been that even if you had dated Eva, she still would have met and fallen madly in love with Tony Parker, who happens to be a lot more loaded that you are.

Of course, what also might have happened is you might have split up because you’ve been f***ing a Hooters waitress. Or a singer. Or a wannabe singer that works at Hooters. Which is how his relationship with Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff ended.

Or, you might have split up with her two weeks into your marriage, after cheating on her during the week leading up to your wedding. Which is how his marriage to Ali Laundry ended.

This, according to People Magazine, is the best that the male population has to offer. Mario tells the magazine that he is looking for a woman who is ‘modest’, not ‘uppity or affluent’. I think this means he’s looking for a woman who doesn’t stick up for herself and doesn’t publicly call him out on his philandering.

Mario Lopez is shown promoting his fitness book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness, on 5/15/08 and on Broadway before appearing in A Chorus Line on 6/5/08, thanks to WENN. He is with Eva Longoria in that stunt they pulled for “Pop Fiction” in which he gave her a necklace in front of the paparazzi in March.

A.C. Slater - er, I mean Mario Lopez- and his “Dancing With the Stars” partner Karina Smirnoff have split, according to reports. I guess that means that they were actually dating- which both of them have denied at various times throughout the relationship. It also means that Karina either: A) was a willing beard for Slater; or B) has a penis.

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars pro dancer Karina Smirnoff have recently split, a source confirms to PEOPLE.

The couple, who met during Dancing’s third season, never publicly acknowledged their relationship despite the fact that the pair were living together in Lopez’s Los Angeles home. A source tells PEOPLE Smirnoff is moving out of Lopez’s digs.

Lopez’s personal rep, Lisa Perkins, says, “It’s my policy to not comment on my client’s personal life.”

Smirnoff, who is now competing on Dancing’s sixth season with R&B star Mario, has been spotted recently with E! Entertainment personality Michael Yo. The two were seen dancing and canoodling at a recent event at Hollywood eatery Beso.

Lopez, meanwhile, is starring in A Chorus Line on Broadway, and recently returned to the ballroom with 18 Chorus Line dancers to tape a synchronized number to air on Dancing’s 100th episode on May 6. He’s also about to embark on a national tour to promote his upcoming book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness.

[From People]

Unless there is a sex tape somewhere, there is no way I believe these two were any more than platonic friends. It’s not that Karina isn’t gorgeous enough for Slater- it’s just that she’s the wrong gender. Maybe Mario will finally find the strength to come out after spending some time on Broadway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Note by Celebitchy: Karina Smirnoff denies they broke up, and tells People “We’re going on strong. As much as I love and appreciate the attention, this isn’t true. For the record, I am not moving out. Everything is great.”

At least she was honest about loving the attention, but you have to think that they either have a rocky relationship, have been broken up for a while, an/dor that she may have leaked the rumor to whip Lopez into shape.

Last November, Lopez completely denied ever having dated Smirnoff despite all the photographic evidence, and told Life & Style that “We were never dating. I don’t know where that rumor started.”

So when I heard they broke up I assumed it was ages ago, but maybe Lopez is just the type who won’t commit but is more than willing to get the milk for free. Smirnoff is a lovely woman who deserves much better.

I don’t think he’s of the other persuasion, but MSat could be right.

Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez are shown on 3/6/08 at the opening of Beso Restaurant, thanks to PRPhotos.

Earlier this week, we told you about E!’s new reality show, “Pop Fiction,” in which celebrities engineer pranks on the paparazzi and tabloids, to prove….I don’t know what. That you can’t believe what you see in a photo? The show was responsible for Paris walking around Hollywood with a fake shaman and Avril Lavigne shopping at baby stores wearing a prosthetic pregnancy belly. Well, it looks like the item we ran last week about Slater– er, I mean, Mario Lopez giving his BFF Eva Longoria a gold necklace from Cartier was all a big prank for “Pop Fiction,” too. Hardy har har.

It’s true that Eva Longoria-Parker and Mario Lopez are friends, but the Cartier necklace he gave her on March 6 is fake! In Touch can exclusively reveal that the pair were setting up a skit for Ashton Kutcher’s new reality show with a twist, Pop Fiction. In fact, a video crew even followed the friends to the Hornitos tequila-sponsored opening of Eva’s restaurant Beso later that night. The show picks up where Punk’d left off, with celebrities acting out fake scenes in front of paparazzi.

[From In Touch]

Big deal. It was pretty much a non-story anyway. Some oily, washed-up former teen star who’s hanging around with an about-to-be-over “It” girl, hoping some of her fame will rub off, pulls a prank on the paparazzi. Wow. That Ashton, he sure is clever!

I’m still confused about the concept of the show. Celebrities don’t like it when tabloids make up false stories about them, so they….intentionally set up false stories? Maybe I need to smoke what Ashton’s smoking, and then I’ll get it.

Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez have been claiming they’re best friends – and only best friends – since… well forever. But there’s always been something a little fishy about their relationship – maybe it’s just because you don’t often see a lot of opposite sex best friends in Hollywood. And you rarely see a real, platonic friendship when the guy is a total womanizing philanderer. But Eva’s husband Tony Parker must be totally cool with it, because Lopez and Longoria are seen out together all the time. Yesterday Mario gave Eva a gold Cartier necklace, supposedly as a congratulatory present for the opening of her new restaurant Beso. Though it could also be a “thanks for being my f*** buddy” necklace too.

Who’s a lucky girl? Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria Parker received an expensive gift from pal Mario Lopez as the two lunched together in Hollywood.

With her basket ball star husband Tony Parker away on work duties, Eva, 33, joined Mario for an outdoor lunch at Café Med in LA.

Dancer and TV presenter Lopez turned up with a gold necklace in a Cartier bag for the already pampered Hollywood star.

An attentive Mario hopped out his seat to help Eva put the gold necklace on, and she seemed pretty pleased with the spontaneous gesture.

[From the Daily Mail]

Haha, yeah right. I’m sure Mario was just being attentive. I’m under the impression that men rarely give platonic female friends jewelry – even if they’ve got the money like Mario. It’s a pretty intimate gift. Next week he’ll be buying her some lingerie to congratulate her for walking down the street without falling or something. The Daily Mail notes several times that Tony Parker was “away on work duties.” I have no idea what they’re implying there.

The opening of Beso supposedly went pretty well, with several of Eva’s cast mates showing up.

Eva attended the opening of restaurant Beso, which means ‘kiss’in Spanish in Hollywood last night. With husband Tony Parker away on basketball duties, Eva was supported in his absence by her Desperate Housewives co-stars Nicolette Sheridan and Felicity Huffman. An excited Eva told People magazine: “Everything is painted, every candle is lit, every glass has arrived So far there has not been a catastrophic emergency happening. So I am very excited.”

And unlike spoiled Gabby on on Desperate Housewives, Longoria does actually know how to cook if her skills were called upon. She said: “I’ll go to a restaurant and if I have an amazing dish I’ll go to the kitchen and ask the chef how he made it. And then I’ll make him teach me. You can ask [my husband] Tony [Parker], I do it all the time. I’ll leave him at the table for like 30 minutes.”

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m sure that’s totally true Eva. Mario must love you because you’re just so down to earth. Er, I mean Tony. I’m sure it’s your great cooking that keeps Mario coming over to your house all the time. Hmm, what else can I say that makes it sound like Mario and Eva are sleeping together? I’ve probably done enough. At least she’s getting some good jewelry out of it.

Here’s Mario fasting his gift around Eva’s neck at lunch yesterday. Images thanks to Splash Here are the arrivals for the opening of Beso last night: Eva with chef Todd English, Christine Lakin, Constance Marie, Dana Delany, Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Roselyn Sanchez and Eric Winter, Sheryl Crow, and Sarah Lancaster. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Can you say disgusting? Mario Lopez, most famous for starring in “Saved by the Bell” six hundred years ago, has the reputation of being quite the cad in Hollywood. Instead of trying to do decent projects, Mario seems to relish his access to skanks. He cheated on x-wife Ali Landry on their honeymoon, and has dated pretty much every woman that walks. While he did have a few respectable gigs, most notably as a very successful participant on Dancing with the Stars, Lopez decided to return to his roots: sleazy crap that no one ever pays attention to. Except for me. This past week, Mario flew to Las Vegas to host the “Boobs or Bust: Go Big or Go Home” party at Jet nightclub. Classy.

Mario Lopez might want to be a little more choosy about the gigs he accepts. Case in point: Last night’s Boobs or Bust 2/Go Big or Go Home party at Jet nightclub in Las Vegas. The former Dancing with the Stars contestant hosted the evening, which featured a contest for women competing to win $5,000 to help pay for breast augmentation surgery.

I kid you not. Here’s how it worked. The club distributed preprinted “boob bucks” to bottle-service customers. Women hoping for new breasts had to convince said customers to hand over their bucks. The gal who collected the most scored the grand prize.

[From E!]

You know he went home with at least three contestants. The article goes on to mention that Lopez was on his best behavior and kept security guards on hand to deal with any over-eager contestants. Though I’m pretty sure by “deal with” they meant “give Mario’s room key to.” Lopez has at various times denied/admitted/denied again dating Dancing with the Stars partner Katrina Smirnoff, though supposedly the pair are still together. Depending on who you believe. I have to say, I know people cheat, I know there’s a lot of reasons and a lot of arguments about it, but if you date a guy who cheated on his own honeymoon, you better not be surprised by just about anything he does. He could come home with a giraffe and two parrots and tell you they’re your new sister wives, and you better not raise an eyebrow. I’m not saying you should accept it, but you shouldn’t be surprised.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Mario Lopez is shown outside his hosting gig for “Boobs or Bust 2″ at Jet Nightclub in Las Vegas on December 10, 2007, thanks to PRPhotos.

I pretty much ignore these reality show couples because I get enough trashy gossip from the news without being subjected to the fattening goodness that is American reality television. It also seems like the celebrities that are created by these shows are somehow less worthy than your average actor, actress, or model, but maybe Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have ruined it for all aspiring reality stars.

As only a casual observer of the Dancing With the Stars relationship between Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff, it seemed real enough to me. After all, there were makeout bikini pictures and everything, and if that doesn’t spell relationship I don’t know what does. Lopez hooked up with his professional dance partner Smirnoff on the show last year and the two were seen everywhere together. There was even news this spring that they were moving in together, but all Lopez would admit was that “they were great friends” and had “a very special relationship.”

Lopez hasn’t changed his story, and instead of admitting that they’re no longer together, he’s insisting they were just friends the entire time and never lived together. Maybe this is true and a mountain was just made out of a publicity molehill:

“We [Karina and I] were always friends,” he told Life & Style at EA’s Need for Speed ProStreet video game launch party on November 14. “We were never dating. I don’t know where that rumor started.” Photos tell a different story. And weren’t they living together? “No, no, I live… that’s not the case,” he insisted. “I haven’t seen her. I’ve been out of town.”

[From Life & Style print edition, December 3, 2007]

These two hit every red carpet together and were often photographed holding hands and kissing, and Lopez says he doesn’t know how that rumor started. This is the guy who was married for two whole weeks, so it’s not like he’s has a high level of maturity. He’s also “just friends” with Eva Longoria, and has been the subject of gay rumors. It sounds to me like he’s just an asshole.

Lopez and Smirnoff are shown on 10/6/07 at his birthday party, so they must have broken up recently. They are also seen out at a 50 Cent show on 9/8/07, and holding hands in Paris on 7/7/07, which must have been for Eva Longoria’s wedding. Look at how she’s looking at him! I want to smack that guy across the face. You can say you’re no longer with someone, but don’t deny that you ever had a relationship, that’s cold!

Thanks to PRPhotos and Splash News for those pictures.

This is a strange little story, but here’s the skinny:

Allegedly, Mario Lopez stole at least one flower arrangement from the Southern California Home and Garden Show where he was booked as a guest on August 18.

Ben Widdicombe over at Gatecrasher says Lopez took the flower arrangement when HGTV’s “Red, Hot and Green” host Danny Seo was doing organic flower arrangement demonstrations and noticed some of his flowers were missing. According to Seo:

“Mario Lopez was also booked, and he took the flowers with him when he left! He outright asked a stagehand, ‘Can I take these for my girlfriend?’ and the poor kid was like, ‘Sure, I guess.’ He basically took my props as a gift for someone else!”

[Gatecrasher - NYDN]

I’m guessing the “girlfriend” is probably Karina Smirnoff, his “Dancing With The Stars” partner turned love interest, but why would Lopez actually steal flowers? Is he so cheap that he can’t buy a bouquet? At least Lopez had the foresight to ask first, so maybe Seo should be ticked at the stagehand who gave him the go-ahead in the first place.

[Header image: PR Photos]

Reliable news source In Touch is reporting that a witness saw Britney in a restaurant bathroom with a purse full of pills, including antidepressant Paxil and the antianxiety drug Xanax. Britney is said to have popped a Xanax right in front of everyone. You’re probably not supposed to mix those drugs, and you’re definitely not supposed to drink with them. At least they’re legal if she has a prescription for them:

On November 27 Britney dined at Dan Tana’s restaurant in West Hollywood - where she was also spotted carrying a glass of red wine out to her car before taking the wheel - and during a visit to the powder room a fellow diner caught a glimpse inside her handbag.

The source told In Touch Weekly magazine: “It looked like a pharmacy in there - I have never seen so many pills.

“There was a bottle of Paxil, an antidepressant, and a bottle of Xanax, which treats anxiety, that she took out and put on the counter.”

The directions for both these drugs state they should not be mixed with alcohol.

Taking some medication isn’t that damning. I mean Britney never goes home so she has to take her meds somewhere. She shouldn’t be drinking too, and driving, and neglecting her kids, but whatever. I was going to mention something about breastfeeding, but it’s not prohibited while you’re on Paxil and that seems to be a non-issue with little miss vag.

Oh I read a doubtful rumor yesterday that Britney was in talks to design her own panty line. She name-dropped Victoria’s Secret on her website, so it’s possible.

There’s also this explosive news that K-Fed is accusing Britney of banging Mario Lopez when she hung out in Vegas with him one weekend. According to The National Enquirer (as reported by Splash News, and it must be the print version because it’s not on their website) K-Fed says that Britney bragged about how she slept with Lopez, and that she spent a whole weekend holed up with him in a Vegas hotel:

Mario Lopez and Britney Spears met in the high rollers lounge at The Palms Casino when Britney was in town recording some tracks for her new album. This chance meeting led to a two day sex romp in Britney’s hotel room.

Honestly, I don’t know if any of this is true because they story comes from someone in Kevin Federline’s camp but here are some highlights of the story:

Kevin Federline is demanding that his baby son Jayden James is blood-tested to see if hard-partying Britney is putting him at risk by breastfeeding.

When she was introduced to Mario, she giggled, ‘I’ve heard so much about you.’ Mario replied, ‘I hope it was good.’ With a wicked grin, Britney said, ‘Oh, yes, it was very good.’

The pair headed to Moon nightclub where they put on a show on the dance floor. Britney was drinking a lot (of course) and her dancing with Mario became more and more suggestive. The two of them put on quite a show for the other patrons.

Afterwards, K-Fed heard that Mario was going around saying that Britney cried at the oddest time (gross).

Kevin says that Britney threw out that Mario was ‘better’ than he was (duh!)

And he said he wouldn’t be surprised if Britney slept with someone she just met - because that’s exactly what happened when he met Britney. (way to label your soon-to-be ex-wife and mother of your two kids a whore)

If this is true Lopez didn’t waste time moving on. He was seen kissing and groping his “Dancing with the Stars” partner, Karina Smirnoff.