A few weeks ago, Katherine Heigl embarked upon a celebrity blog for iVillage with a rather frank essay on her struggles to identify both as a mother and an actress as well as why she prefers being a working mother. It was a pretty coherent and rather lucid essay, in which Heigl resisted the temptation of appearing preachy towards mothers who either elect to stay at hom with their children or have no choice whether or not to work. Yeah, Heigl’s got a nanny to help her out with the technicalities and early morning risings that motherhood demands; yet she was quick to point out that while her decision to continue acting (in crappy romcoms) might make her feel like a better mother, she understood that it’s not the best thing for every mother. She won many of you over with her thoughts, and I started to like her more too.

This week, Katherine tackles what I feel is an even touchier subject by giving her thoughts on marriage. Of course, she’s only been married to Josh Kelley for four years, but her thoughts are still relevant to the subject. It’s a rather lengthy essay, so I cut out some of the anthropological details about a South American civilization (which allows for four annual days of hedonism and adultery) that Katherine uses as an illustration how other cultures seek to prevent divorce. Basically, she takes a very monogamous stance on that example and then goes on to describe the difficulties she’s already experienced in her marriage:

Josh and I were recently asked at the American Music Awards how we make our marriage work in Hollywood. We answered the best we could but when the interview went live, we suddenly found ourselves to be the poster couple for successful marriages. My first thought was, “That’s a hell of a lot of pressure. We better make this work!” My second thought was, “What is my real answer to that question once given an opportunity to think about it?” The topic of relationships with a partner or spouse is a pretty relatable one, and it’s something people have been trying to figure out since the beginning of time.

I have no desire to physically hook up with any man other than my husband and have been a serial monogamist from the moment of my first serious relationship at 20. I have never been able to connect with a man sexually without it becoming emotional, without giving a piece of my heart and soul to that connection. I always loved the idea of Samantha on Sex and the City, but it just isn’t how I’m built. I understand that every human being on earth wonders if the grass might be greener in other pastures, but I could never imagine myself really going there or really wanting to. I guess the relationship I’m in is so consuming that the idea of a dalliance with another man sounds exhausting. It’s hard enough to make one connection work — I can’t imagine, even for four days, splitting myself between two!

What I took away from the story of the village was the idea of not taking your partner for granted. We all do and will throughout the course of our lives with each other — after all, that’s just human nature. But I wonder if being aware of it can help me to do it less. I very easily slip into negative patterns of nagging, bossing, frustration and miscommunication. Josh easily slips into negative patterns of not paying attention, work consumption, forgetfulness and miscommunication. When we start orbiting around each other in this way, it’s pretty easy to forget what the gravitational pull was that brought our planets into alignment was in the first place.

I’ve certainly had moments, as I’m sure Josh has, where I’ve asked myself if it’s really worth it. Is a great marriage really even possible? Do you just resign yourself to the idea of growing old with someone you don’t talk to anymore, share anything with but your children, and avoid like the plague? Yes, the giddy romance of first love fades but does love itself just wither away as if it’s a season coming to an end?

It would be preachy and naïve of me to tell you I have the answers to those questions. Josh and I have only been married four years and though that may seem record-breaking in Hollywood, we’re still considered newlyweds to the rest of the world. What I can tell you is that I was infatuated with this man the moment I met him. I was crazy about him three weeks later, and madly in love with him two more after that. More often than not he brings the best out of me and when he doesn’t, I tell him the truth about how he’s let me down and listen when he tells me the same. He makes me laugh like no one else, he makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt, adored with abandon and when he doesn’t, I tell him how I feel ignored and listen when he tells me I’ve driven him away.

I have been drawn to this man like a bee to honey and I can’t quite explain it but I do know he’s worth it. We stand by each other, we respect each other’s thoughts, ideas, passions and fears. We compromise constantly for each other and change for each other when compromising isn’t the answer. We’ve had some pretty explosive fights over the years trying to make our marriage work, but it’s been worth it.

[From iVillage]

Okay, it’s really easy to read Katherine’s thoughts on marital squabbles as well as losing the initial butterflies of early relationship bliss and conclude that she must certainly be on her way to a split. Yet I don’t think that’s the case, for it sounds like she and Josh have figured out how to balance their differences and learn to communicate, which is generally be a neverending struggle for any couple whether they’re willing to accept the challenge or not.

I also truly appreciate that Katherine admits that her marriage isn’t without flaws. Once again, she’s not Gooping it up by claiming to be perfect and she’s not actively avoiding the issue like Sarah Jessica Parker (and her “splitting the atom of our marriage” talk) does. Instead, Katherine sounds like a real woman here, and Josh (from the outside anyway) seems like a pretty good husband to Katherine. They enjoy regular outings together, there are no whisperings of him cheating on her, and he seems to be really good at carrying her luggage and pushing a grocery cart. On that last point, I’m completely not knocking the guy either. My husband never did that.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Okay, call me crazy but I honestly thought that Mike Myers had pretty much come out of the closet? Did I hallucinate that? First there were blind items about a “closeted funny man” and then there were all of those rumors about Mike Myers and men…? Well, here is just another reason to not put any stock in blind items: Mike Myers is secretly married – to a woman! It’s Mike’s second marriage after his 12-year-marriage to his first wife, Robin Ruzan. Shortly after Mike and Robin split, he got together with hipster tea-girl Kelly Tisdale, who used to date Moby (who I also thought was gay?). Kelly and Moby still have a tea shop together, I think. She’s pretty cute in the photos I could find.

Anyway, Kelly and Mike got married five months ago without anyone knowing!

Funnyman Mike Myers has secretly married his longtime girlfriend, Kelly Tisdale, in a private ceremony here, Page Six has learned. The famously low-key “Austin Powers” star and Tisdale were wed five months ago in a “beautiful” ceremony, confirmed a rep for Myers.

“International Man of Mystery” Myers, 47, and the 30-something Tisdale began dating in 2006, shortly after Myers split from his first wife, comedy writer and actress Robin Ruzan, after a 12-year marriage.

Tisdale dated musician and producer Moby in the 1990s, and they co-founded Lower East Side hipster cafe Teany.

Myers and Tisdale were outed in 2006 when they were spotted vacationing together in Hawaii. They’ve since lived at his shagadelic digs in SoHo. Tisdale confirmed the relationship to the National Enquirer at the time, saying, “We’re actually surprised you guys didn’t find out about us sooner.” We’re surprised we didn’t find out about the wedding sooner.

Myers and Ruzan filed for divorce in late 2005, after a relationship dating back to the late ’80s. They met at a hockey game in Chicago when Myers reportedly caught a puck that flew into the stands and used it as an icebreaker to make conversation with Ruzan. He moved to Chicago to be with her and married the brunette beauty in 1993.

Myers called Ruzan “his muse” and based one of his most popular “Saturday Night Live” characters, “Coffee Talk” TV host Linda Richman, on Ruzan’s mother, Linda Ruzan, whose maiden name is Richman.

Ruzan encouraged Myers to create the “Austin Powers” character after he seemed to play the goofy Lothario role in their Hollywood home. “Powers” director Jay Roach explained to People magazine in 1999, “I think she just got sick of it and said, ‘Instead of doing this to me, why don’t you just write a movie based on it?’ “

[From Page Six]

Congratulations to Kelly and Mike! I would crack a joke about no one knowing about the wedding because no one really cared enough, but honestly, Mike is really, really private, and I truly believe that many people thought he was a late-in-life gay man. So: Mike is straight, and really private, and married for the second time. Mazel tov!

Photos courtesy of WENN & The Independent.

Ellen DeGeneres’ wife of almost two years, Portia de Rossi, 37, has filed paperwork to legally take on DeGeneres as her last name. I’m reporting this because I want to say how happy I am for these two, but also that I’m relieved to no longer have to look up the exact capitalization and spacing of their last names. This couple has/had the hardest last names. It’s hard to remember that the “de” in de Rossi is lower case with a space before Rossi, especially when DeGeneres is all one word. I get why celebrities take on stage names, because some names can be hard to accurately spell and pronounce. (Not that they need to be homogenized! It can just be tricky sometimes.) Here’s more:

Portia de Rossi’s second anniversary gift for Ellen DeGeneres? A name change.

The actress, who tied the knot with the talk show host, 52, on Aug. 17, 2008, has asked the court to legally change her name to Portia Lee James DeGeneres, according to a petition filed Friday in L.A. County Superior Court.

As for the reason, the papers, which were initially signed by Rossi, 37, in March, say, “Petitioner is taking the last name of her spouse.”

But de Rossi isn’t a DeGeneres just yet. The name change won’t be official until a hearing, scheduled for Sept. 23, takes place.

A rep for the talk show host had no comment.

TMZ.com was first to report on the filing.

[From People]

Now Portia will be Portia DeGeneres! I took on my husband’s last name, and it’s phonetically similar to my maiden name like Portia’s is to Ellen’s. I think it’s kind of cute that his name isn’t that different from my original one, and I was proud to take my husband’s last name. (To each their own, though, and I understand why people keep their maiden names or use hyphenations.) Congratulations to Ellen and Portia on their second anniversary and Portia’s name change! That’s a nice gesture, and one Ellen surely appreciates.

Last week, Hollywood husband Dean McDermott ended up in ICU with a collapsed lung after his second crash while racing dirt bikes. The husband of Tori Spelling even had to be outfitted with a catheter- which he Tweeted about. Now that Dean is home and recovering, sources report that he has banned the dirt biking, much to the relief of Tori. Anyone who watches their reality show knows that the activity was becoming a major source of strife within the marriage, so maybe the crash was a good thing.

Dean McDermott’s recent motorcycle crash did what months of nagging by his wife Tori Spelling couldn’t – it caused him to give up a sport he loves.

Dean, a speed enthusiast, was rushed to the ICU of a Los Angeles hospital on June 29 after crashing his dirt bike – his second crash this year. He suffered a punctured and collapsed lung, which left him unable to move and bleeding heavily from his right side.

A panicked Tori, 37, rushed to his bedside – and begged him to give up the dangerous sport for good, say pals.

The couple, who married in 2006 and have two young children, have admitted that their relationship is sometimes rocky. And one of their most contentious battles has been over Dean’s obession with motorcycle racing, revealed the insider.

After Dean’s crash in January, in which he fractured his shoulder, he agreed to ride only as a hobby and to give up professional racing.

But after seeing Tori’s anguish over his injuries from his most recent smash-up, Dean, 43, agreed to stop riding dirt bikes altogether.

“He’s done tempting fate and ready to recommit himself to Tori and the kids.”

[From The National Enquirer print version, July 19, 2010]

Well, I’m glad Dean agreed to cut out the foolish, reckless behavior. But now he is going to have to find something else to fill up his time, and let’s face it- that won’t be his wife and kids. His “obession” with dirt bikes, in my opinion, is a signal that he’s bored and unfulfilled. But what else is there? His acting career is kaput ever since he married Tori. If it weren’t for the reality show and Tori’s books, they’d have no work at all. Maybe he needs to get out there and start reviving his acting career so he can stay out of trouble.

I know the rumor has been floating around for the past few weeks, but Star Magazine has a piece that is making me wonder even more if Megan Fox is pregnant. The Star article starts out as just a recap of Megan and Brian Austin Green’s nuptials and honeymoon, with eyewitness testimony like, “No one has ever seen a happier, more tender couple than them.” Other people noted that Megan and BAG couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Then this:

Could it be because there’s more than just love in the air?

“It’s being whispered that they got married because Megan’s expecting,” a source tells Star.

A friend of Megan admits she’s “been trying to get pregnant.”

And Brian was spotted lovingly rubbing his wife’s belly. “He was really gentle with her, especially when touched her stomach. She was glowing,” says the source.

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Unfortunately, Megan’s rep just denied Star’s story to Gossip Cop (denial here – the rep just says it’s “not true”).

Personally, I think it would have been sweet if Megan and BAG were expecting. Now that I know it wasn’t a shotgun marriage, I’m back to thinking that Megan married BAG because A) She actually does love him and he puts up with her general idiocy and B) for her career, because she’s trying to change her image. For real – I think Megan realizes that her days as just “the hot girl” who just stood around pouting in action films is over. There’s a new generation of girls who do that with less attitude than Megan. So her career has to change – she’s now the “real” actress, the wife and the step-mother. And it looks like her publicity team is telling her to take it down a notch in interviews, which is probably the biggest help to her image. Megan is now and always has been her own worst enemy. But at least she’s not going to be somebody’s mother (for now).

Here are some photos of Megan Fox hiding her face and showing her ring in LA yesterday:

Megan & BAG in Hawaii on May 29, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin. Also, Megan on July 8, 2010. Credit: MAC/Fame.

Matt Damon once called marriage “a ridiculous thing to do,” but added that he liked being married to his wife Luciana. Five years of marriage and almost four kids later, Matt and Luciana are still going strong and he’s still singing her praises. Matt told a reporter at the Ante Up for Africa poker tournament over the weekend that Luciana helps manage the family around his work commitments and that “she really keeps it together.” Luciana is currently pregnant with their third child together, which will be her fourth.

If Matt Damon wants to find out anything about his wife’s pregnancy he just needs to ask their kids.

“They track its progress in mommy’s belly,” he said Saturday while attending the Ante Up for Africa charity poker event in Las Vegas.

His wife, Luciana, is set to deliver the couple’s fourth child this fall. They currently have three daughters: Alexia, 11, who is Luciana’s child from a previous marriage, Isabella, 4, and Gia, 22 months.

The kids “are very excited” about another addition to the family, Damon, 39, said.

But being a family man and major motion picture star isn’t easy for the former Sexiest Man Alive. Damon credits “a great wife” for helping him juggle his responsibilities.

“She really keeps it together,” he said at the poker event at the Rio All Suites Hotel, hosted by Oceans 11 pal Don Cheadle. “We just talk it out and work it all out. You say, this is the job and this is the time commitment and this is where it will be. I’m a lot easier to hire if you’re doing movies in New York.”

[From People]

Luciana is a lucky bitch, but I’m sure she earns it by patiently putting up with more crap from Damon than we can imagine. Just because Damon is a dreamboat who manages his image expertly doesn’t mean that he’s an ideal husband. (That’s just what I tell myself to get through the days. I’ve seen the Bourne movies too many times.) Whatever goes on in their marriage, these two seem very much in love and must still be keeping things hot. They were spotted making out at a club just a couple of weeks ago. Oh sigh.

Here are some new photos of Damon at Ante Up For Africa. He lost weight! I never get tired of looking at this guy. Matt and Luciana are shown on 3/27/10. Credit: WENN.com

Former Miss California Carrie Prejean, who became a lightning rod for the gay marriage debate after stating her “biblical” opinion that marriage is between a man and a woman, is now taking the plunge herself. Prejean is marrying her fiance, football player Kyle Boller, on Friday.

Dethroned “biblically correct” beauty queen Carrie Prejean is about to do something that gays and lesbians can no longer do in California — she’s getting hitched.

TMZ has learned Prejean — a woman — is set to tie the knot with NFL quarterback Kyle Boller — a man — at The Grand Del Mar hotel in San Diego.

The big day is Friday.

[From TMZ]

Carrie gushed about how she saw herself married to Kyle last year. Looks like she is getting her wish. If the reports regarding her true personality and ego are to believed, I wish this guy luck. Something tells me Carrie would be a pretty high-maintenance wife. Being an NFL wife will make her even more high profile, which is the name of her game, right? As for the fiance, he looks like kind of a meathead, which sounds about right – a football player and a beauty queen. How original.

There have been rumors about Courteney Cox and her Cougar Town costar Brian Van Holt for months, although they reached a particularly well-saturated breaking point back in May, when Star Magazine claimed that Courteney and Brian were having private dinners all the time, that Courteney never wears her wedding ring, and that she and Brian are always flirting with each other, constantly. Courteney didn’t deny it (although Gossip Cop did some damage control), and neither did Brian. Now poor David Arquette has given an interview to People, talking about how strong his marriage is. I would believe him but… I’m too busy overanalyzing some of his statements. It really seems to me like he might be saying that Courteney is cheating but it’s okay with him… it’s strange:

David Arquette has to laugh at how rumors about supposed trouble in his marriage to Courteney Cox Arquette can spread – even to their group of friends.

“You know, it’s weird, because it turns up in the tabloids, and your friends start calling you like there’s a problem,” the actor, 38, told PEOPLE at an Operation Mend event at UCLA Monday, supporting the program that provides plastic surgery to severely injured Afghanistan and Iraq soldiers and veterans. “Like, they say, ‘If you need to talk,’ you know. Hey, we don’t need to talk. There’s nothing [wrong]. We have a really great, beautiful relationship.”

Not that it’s always totally smooth sailing. “Whenever things come up, we deal with them. We communicate,” he says. “I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, you know what I mean. I’m committed, and we’re honest with each other … Relationships take a lot of work.”

Whatever they’re doing seems to be working. “We respect each other, care for each other and love each other,” Arquette says. “And I feel blessed that she’s my wife and that we have an amazing family.”

Arquette and his actress wife, 46, celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary on Saturday – a day before their daughter Coco’s sixth birthday. How did they celebrate? “In the daytime we went to Disneyland, and in the evening we had a beautiful dinner,” Arquette says. “We ate exactly what we ate when we got married – steak and lobster.”

The couple are now looking forward to working together again, leaving next week for Ann Arbor, Mich., to shoot the latest Scream movie – a film series that has provided a backdrop to various milestones in their relationship.

“It’s nostalgic,” Arquette says. “We met on Scream 1, and on Scream 2 we were kind of on and off dating. And by Scream 3 we were married. And now on Scream 4 we have a child. It’s sort of an amazing marker throughout our lives.”

[From People]

That one sentence is weird, right? “I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, you know what I mean. I’m committed, and we’re honest with each other … Relationships take a lot of work.” But is SHE committed? As far as I know, there hasn’t been any big rumor about David screwing around on Courteney, so why is coming out and taking pains to say he’s “committed”? I know I’m reading too much into it. I feel like Eyes for Lies, only instead of body language, I’m reading what is unspoken. Anyway, whatever. I guess David is saying that if she’s cheating, it’s none of our business and they’ll work it out. Maybe. Or maybe David is about to get dumped for fresh meat to keep Courteney looking even… younger.

Is this shocking? Life & Style is running a story about RHONY’s Bethenny Frankel, and how she had a “secret” first marriage. True, I did think she was had never been married before her current husband Jason Hoppy. So I was slightly surprised, but mostly I feel like Bethenny got a raw deal by those who said she was not a “housewife” enough to be cast on the show. She had already been married and divorced, so there. Suck on that, H8ERS. Eh.

When Bethenny Frankel married Jason Hoppy in March, it turns out it was actually her second wedding. Life & Style can exclusively reveal that the Real Housewives of New York City star wed her former best friend Peter Sussman in 1996 — but the marriage fell apart after just eight months. Now, Bethenny opens up to Life & Style about her past with first husband, Peter.

“We were best friends for five years, and he always wanted to be more,” says the natural-foods chef, who eventually accepted Peter’s persistent advances. The pair dated for two years before saying “I do.”

Sadly, Bethenny realized that the relationship made her feel secure but was totally lacking in passion. “I felt like, ‘This is really it? This is the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with?’” she says. “You can’t go to bed with a piece of 8-by-10 paper.”

Now older and wiser, the self-made and independent Bethenny knows she wed Peter for the wrong reasons.

“I loved him because of how much he loved me,” she tells Life & Style. “I got married too young. I didn’t wait for the great love of my life.”

[From Life & Style]

Jeez, way to make your sound really exciting. If they divorced under pleasant circumstances, why go out of your way to make your ex sound so horrible, and SO obsessed with you? Oh, right. It’s Bethenny!

In other Bethenny news, she gave another exclusive to Us Weekly a few days ago, this one about how she’s back to a size 4 after giving birth just three weeks ago. But Bethenny claims that she didn’t get back her shape by dieting! She said: “I don’t believe in diets. I’m still wearing maternity clothes, because they’re comfortable. I”m excited to get into my Louboutins again. No more swollen feet.” Then, blah, blah, she did yoga while pregnant and she’s already back to walking and doing her vegetarian diet. To see her in her bathing suit, go here.

Jeff Bridges is on the cover of the May issue of Costco magazine, and it has probably been out for a while but I haven’t seen these quotes online yet. Jeff, 60, says some really thoughtful things about his marriage of 33 years, to former waitress Susan Geston, with whom he has three daughters: Isabelle, 29, Jessica, 27, and Hayley, 25.

Jeff and Susan met in 1974 when she was working at a ranch in Montana where he was filming at the time. In a piece he wrote for Readers Digest in 2006, he explained how he met Sue and asked her to marry him. Bridges said that within a week of meeting his future wife he knew he was in love and explained that she gave him “a feeling of being at home.” Three years later they were living together, but Bridges hadn’t yet proposed as he had a fear of marriage. Sue wasn’t going to stick around without a proposal and planned to leave him to go back to Montana for a job offer. Jeff realized he would regret it for the rest of his life if he let her get away. He explained “I thought, If I let this girl go, I will always know she was the one. So I got down on my knees and asked Sue to marry me.”

In an exclusive interview with Costco, Jeff describes how his marriage works after 33 years, and I found his comments so heart warming.

“We’re in love… And then we practice love. We’ve been married 33 years. Life can be a challenge. You come up against things where some people say ‘I’ve had it; that’s too tough.’ But if you stay with those feelings and try to understand the other person’s position and really be there for the other person, your love gets to expand. I guess it’s almost like working out. You work out and it becomes easier and you start to enjoy it.”

[From The Costco Connection, print edition, May 2010]

That’s a really apt way to describe it. Marriage takes work just like everything else that’s worthwhile, but it doesn’t have to be drudgery and if you avoid it the problems will start to pile up. If only we had more leading men in Hollywood like Jeff Bridges. It seems like the conniving cheaters are getting all the press lately, but I hope they’re the exception. Popeater recently did a piece on faithful Hollywood men and Bridges was right up there with other loyal husbands like Matt Damon, Kevin Bacon and Tom Hanks.