Though I don’t think anyone with half a brain believes the gossip that came out yesterday that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are planning on tying the knot, that hasn’t stopped creepy dad Michael Lohan from yapping to the press about it. And how he doesn’t approve.

Though in May Michael told Us Weekly his feelings about the SamRo relationship were that his daughter, “‘is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God,’” apparently Michael has now decided to be a little less open-minded – though deliberately vague in his comments. Because that’s a better way to get press.

Gay marriage may be legal in California now, but wedding bells don’t seem to be in Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson’s immediate future. And if the couple were to wed, Lohan’s dad Michael probably wouldn’t play the proud father giving away the bride.

“I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

That’s not to say that he doesn’t support Lindsay and a possible relationship with Ronson, he just supports her in more indirect ways.

“I want her to be happy and healthy and stay on the right path,” he says. “If I discuss (her relationship), I say that I want her to be happy.”

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

I feel nauseous every time I hear Michael Lohan spout his “I’ve been in too much therapy” jargon. Considering he’s always spouting off about his faith (but not doing anything useful or productive with it – just bragging about it, as far as I can tell) it seems that what Michael is implying is that Lindsay wouldn’t ask him to be part of a gay wedding because he doesn’t approve.

He doesn’t all-out say this so it’s hard to nail him on his comments. And Michael doesn’t actually say he doesn’t approve of Lindsay and Sam’s relationship or being gay in general. There’s just this tone of “wanting her to be happy” and “staying on the right path” and considering how sanctimonious he is, you can’t help but think he’s implying that being in a gay relationship is something other than the right path.

Michael Lohan and his girlfriend Erin Muller at the Social Like Magazine Party in Water Mill, Long Island on July 4th. Images thanks to Fame.

Neil Patrick Harris is on the cover of the upcoming issue of Out magazine, and sounds a bit more like he’s considering marriage to his boyfriend of four years, actor David Burtka. Harris had previously given some rather contradictory statements about any impending marriage, but now it sounds like he’s getting closer to saying that matrimony is in the works.

Neil Patrick Harris is opening up about making his relationship official with longtime beau David Burtka. “I think if and when we do, we’d probably announce it after the fact as opposed to making any big announcement,” Harris, 35, says in the September issue of Out magazine.

“We both wear rings, and I’m giddy when I see all the pictures of people so happy standing there, confirming the love they wish they could have expressed for a long time,” he explains. “I’m a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I’m proud of how the nation is steering toward that,” he adds.

Harris said being outed by the media in November 2006 “was tricky. Part of the coming-out process is figuring out who you like and what that means, and how to act on it,” he explains. “Being an actor reduced my level of anonymity. I couldn’t just go to some bar and walk in and ask someone out on a date,” he adds. “If I had any regret it would be that strange lack of anonymity that created panic within myself that I would be found out.”

[From Us Weekly]

Neil also says his secret celebrity crush is Anderson Cooper. I love it when my gay crush has a crush on my other gay crush. Such drama. Harris has done a good job of not being typecast. He’s successfully played a major womanizer on How I Met Your Mother for several seasons, and his coming out didn’t affect the show’s viewership. As Out points out, it wasn’t much of a big deal with Harris released a statement a few years ago. It sounds like he’s pretty happy with his life and his relationship, and quite possibly getting married in the near future.

Here’s Neil Patrick Harris at the Emmy Awards nominee announcements on July 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Though Lindsay Lohan could never commit to any one guy (and why should she – she’s only 22), apparently she’s planning on committing the rest of her life to one woman. News of the World claims that Lohan and still-not-officially-acknowledged-girlfriend Samantha Ronson are getting hitched in the fall.

Lindsay Lohan set to prove she and Samantha Ronson are more than friends - she is reportedly planning to marry the DJ later this year. The pair has long refused to confirm rumours they are in a lesbian relationship, but are now reportedly planning to exchange vows in a Los Angeles commitment ceremony.

And Lohan’s mother Dina is said to be planning a lavish reception party to “welcome Sam into the family”. A source tells British newspaper The News Of The World: “Dina is still working on the date of the party but it’s looking like towards the end of the year.

“Lindsay’s new album Spirit In The Dark is out in November, so (the wedding could be held) around then. They’ve been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as ‘just good friends’. But they’ve decided it isn’t a fling - it’s for life - so they want to make their romance public.”

[From Contact Music]

I’m guessing the odds are pretty good that this story is bull, but it’s floating around there and people are getting all excited at the potential union. The idea of any Lohan entering into a marriage contract makes me pretty darn nervous, regardless of whom they’re thinking about marrying. Lindsay is only 22. And while Samantha is about to turn 31, that doesn’t make up for Lindsay’s young age. And frankly, Lindsay isn’t a mature 22. She’s a 22 who generally acts like she’s 16.

Something tells me if there is even one kernel of truth to this story, it was something Lohan said in excitement, not something they’re actually planning on doing. Though you know if Dina can use it to pimp her crappy reality show, she’ll be all over it.

Here’s Lindsay and Samantha at LAX on Friday. Images thanks to Fame.

Jay-Z and Beyonce sure were weird about their whole marriage thing. The couple has never officially confirmed their marriage to People magazine. Which makes it feel like it’s somehow not legal. As a celeb, isn’t it a requirement to file a marriage certificate and chat with Us Weekly to make it legal? I don’t think it’s official until they’ve done that.

I think we all assumed they were keeping things as secret as possible so they could sell the photos for the highest amount of cash. Which hasn’t happened yet. It almost seems as though they truly wanted to keep the whole affair private, and not profit off of it. Which seems odd, as Beyonce’s mother Tina is known for doing things up as tacky as she possibly can. Class seems weird here.

Nonetheless, the marriage is definitely legit – they filed certificates, went on a honeymoon – and has finally been spotting wearing a wedding band.

Jay-Z donned never-before-seen bling in NYC Wednesday: his wedding ring to Beyonce!

The rapper, 38, was spotted wearing the jewelry while leaving his Tribeca apartment, where they wed April 4.

Beyonce, 26, and Jay-Z tied the knot over three months ago in a “very special, very private, very intimate” rooftop ceremony, according to a source close to the pair.

[From Us Weekly]

I guess they’re no longer trying to keep the whole thing a secret, since everyone’s stopped talking about it or caring either way. There was no doubt they got married, but there remained a lot of speculation about why they went to such extreme lengths not to talk about it. I understand the desire for privacy before and during the ceremony, but not admitted you’re married after the fact is a little unusual. There was a lot of speculation that Beyonce was pregnant, but that doesn’t seem to be the case either. At least they’re acknowledging their union, if quietly.

Here’s an older image of Beyonce and Jay-Z. The image of Jay-Z wearing his wedding ring can be seen on Us Weekly’s site.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal might be taking their relationship to the next level, which I would base on the idea that they’ve been seeing each other for a while now, and they’re adults. Why not move in together, shop at IKEA on Saturdays, or get married?

OK! Magazine has their own reasoning that Jake and Reese are taking their relationship seriously, and it’s that Reese is ‘in’ with the Gyllenhaal clan.

You know there’s something really special about a relationship when you feel ready to draw your family together with you partner’s.

And it sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon are starting to take that landmark step.

We’re told Reese’s son, Deacon, now has his own collection of The Dark Knight memorabilia, thanks to Maggie Gyllenhaal, the sister of his mom’s beau.

As one of the stars of the record-breaking movie, Maggie, brought Deacon, 4, a collection of action figures from the movie and a copy of the script.

“He’s quite the Batman fan,” a pal of the family tells OK!. “Deacon has been waiting for The Dark Knight to come out, although Reese was worried that it was too dark for him to watch at his age.”

OK! Magazine

My son is five and wants to go and see the Batman film, but there is absolutely no way that he’ll be seeing it – not for about ten years. That is not a children’s film, no matter how cute Maggie Gyllenhaal is in it, and I think Reese, Jake and Maggie all know that. So, if this story is true, I’d have to say that Maggie isn’t being nice to Reese, but trying to annoy her. I have a sister-in-law that does stuff like this to me all the time (‘Every child needs a machete for their birthday!’) and it drives me crazy. Then when I take the machete/violent video game/water pistol that makes crazy noises away from my son, I look like the bad guy.

The National Enquirer has their own sign that Reese and Jake are getting serious - she’s adopted his pet German Shepherd Atticus, and he’ll be serving as a ring bearer at their wedding. I know Reese has a son to serve as ringbearer, but I’m trying to decide who I’d trust more with my expensive, carefully picked out jewelery - the dog or the pre-schooler?

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are shown in Paris trying not to look like they’re together on 7/11/08. Credit: WENN

I have to admit, I have a big secret (until now) crush on Neil Patrick Harris. If there were any man I could turn from gay to straight (and then make him fall in love with me, which would be a part of this magic wish) it’d be Neil. Or maybe Anderson Cooper. But probably Neil. But since he doesn’t check in with me to verify MY needs, he remains gay. Which I guess I have to live with. But my crush remains.

Neil has said that while he’s happy about California’s gay marriage law, he’s not sure if he’ll be taking the plunge anytime soon

While Ellen DeGeneres and her girlfriend Portia De Rossi are making wedding plans, another famous out of the closet star, Neil Patrick Harris, is on the fence about tying the knot himself.

When it comes to gay marriage in California, Neil told OK!, “Oh I’m all for it! Big fan!” But when asked if he saw himself as a married man, he said, “I don’t know. If I did, no one would know about it ’til after I got married.”

Hmm, is that a hint? Neil, 35, has been in a long term relationship with Broadway actor David Burtka,33. In 2006, the How I Met Your Mother star told fans, “I am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest.”

Neil has also told OK! that he’d love to have children one day. “I think I’d make a good dad,” he recently said. So, maybe there will be kids in the near future for Neil but as of now there will be no wedding bells… yet!

[From OK! Magazine]

It took all of my restraint not to offer to carry Neil Patrick Harris’ child after that last sentence. But I am totally calm now. Jokes aside, Neil and David are super cute together. They’ve been together since 2004, and according to Wikipedia, Neil “refers to Burtka as ‘My better half’ and an ‘amazing chef.’” Aww. Something tells me they’ll end up taking the plunge too… albeit in secret, as mentioned.

Here’s Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on April 21st. Header of Neal and David participating in Broadway Backwards 3, a benefit for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center in New York on February 4th. Images thanks to WENN.

Amy Winehouse and drama go together like peanut butter and jelly. If the jelly were made of crack. And the peanut butter were a pipe. Unfortunately Amy Winehouse and drama also go together really well. To say she chases it would be a massive, massive understatement. Amy thrives on it. I seriously doubt she could exist in a state of calm.

Amy’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is scheduled to be sentenced for his role in an assault and bribery of a bartender. Blake plead guilty over a month and a half ago, but couldn’t be sentenced until all of his accomplices had completed their trials as well. Fielder-Civil’s mother is afraid that he’ll be let out of jail soon (presumably being sentenced to time served) and has begged the judge not to allow her son to be anywhere near his wife. Georgette Fielder-Civil is absolutely convinced Amy led Blake down the dark path, even though pretty much everyone with two brain cells to rub together believes the opposite.

Amy Winehouse’s mother-in-law is speaking out against the troubled singer - and blaming the 24-year-old for her son’s drug problems. “I don’t want him to go straight back to Amy,” Georgette Fielder-Civil told Britain’s News of the World of her incarcerated son, Blake Fielder-Civil, who is scheduled to be sentenced on Monday. “If he does it could be a death sentence for the two of them.”

Georgette has written a letter urging a judge to keep her son away from his wife. “Giving him and Amy another chance is like putting a gun to Blake’s head while playing Russian Roulette,” she said. But Winehouse’s father, Mitch, has repeatedly blamed his son-in-law for getting Amy into hard drugs. “Everyone knows that — apart from Blake’s mum and dad,” he said.

According to Georgette, her 26-year-old son wants to be Amy’s “savior” and “has every intention to try to stop the drugs.” Blake, mind you, was photographed earlier this month heating what appeared to be drugs in his jail cell and inhaling the fumes through a tube. Amy is “completely unstable,” her mother-in-law said. “Blake is a recovering addict and he’s not strong enough to resist the temptation.”

[From the Daily News]

If nothing else, I admire Mitch Winehouse for being totally open, honest, and upfront about his daughter’s drug addiction. And he’s often said how fearful he is for Amy – not just that she’ll overdose, but that if nothing else she’s killing herself slowly due to her emphysema-like condition. But he’s never denied that Amy has a problem, though he does seem pretty powerless. But generally, you don’t hear him going on about how it’s everyone else’s fault, unless he’s directly responding to the Fielder-Civil family’s accusations that Amy turned Blake onto drugs.

Considering the depth of her denial, I’d guess that Blake’s mom isn’t doing him any favors. If she can’t be real with him, she’s just enabling and excusing his behavior. I absolutely think it’d be a great idea for Amy and Blake to be kept far away from each other. If there were a way to legally make two people divorce against their will, I’d nominate this couple first. But blaming Amy for Blake’s problems is utterly ridiculous, and probably one of those “pot calling the kettle black” situations.

Amy Winehouse is shown out in Camden late Saturday/early Sunday. The photo description reads: “Amy Winehouse went out to the Monarch pub in Camden, arriving at 2.30am and leaving at 5am. On the way home she stopped at the Esso garage grabbed some flowers and ran off.” D-Listed notes that the flowers are probably for Blaaake.

After the way her last marriage went, you can’t really blame Christie Brinkley for being turned off by the institution. And after a total of four marriages, the model now claims she will never marry again. Which is probably for the best. While the court-ordered psychiatrist said she was healthy and sane, and that her anger at ex-husband Peter Cook was to be expected – he also said she needs to work on her “choice of male figures.”

“I’m not going to marry again,” the model, 54, told the New York Post hours after her trial ended Thursday. “I know too much about the marriage laws and divorce laws. Getting married again would not be a very intelligent thing to do.”

At her trial, a court-appointed psychologist said Brinkley “needs to start working on deeper issues,” including “her choice of male figures.” Still, she says airing her dirty laundry at the public trial was worth it. “I’ve got my sweet freedom!” said the model, who retained sole custody of her kids and will keep all 18 properties in the Hamptons that were being disputed. (She agreed to pay the 49-year-old Cook $2.1 million.)

“I was fighting for my family,” Brinkley said. “I think when you’re fighting for your family’s well-being, almost anything you have to go through is worth it.” She kept a sense of humor when asked if she were glad the ordeal was over. “I was down to my last outfit!” she cracked. “It had to end.”

[From Us Magazine]

Christie gets to keep all of her 16 Long Island properties – which cook wanted, arguing that while she paid for them, he helped pick them out. And of the $2.1 million he was awarded, sources say the vast majority of it will go to his legal bills.

Here’s Christie Brinkley outside the courthouse in Long Island with a school project she completed with her son Jack that was entered into evidence. Images thanks to Splash.

In the very short few months they dated before getting hitched, Nick Cannon managed to propose to Mariah Carey not once, but twice. Surprisingly, it only involved one ring, which is pretty understated for Mariah. Even at 17 carats. I assumed the real reason for two proposals was more jewelry, not Nick’s love for Mimi.

The couple are still on their PR tour. No, not for Mariah’s newest album; they’re promoting their marriage. And if that just happens to up CD sales… what a crazy coincidence that would be.

“Most people would think, ‘Okay, please! This doesn’t happen in real life!’” she tells the August issue of Elle Magazine. “When I was in an unhappy place in my life, I always wanted to be kidnapped. I just wanted a way out, but I didn’t have one.”

Carey is talking of her past, which suffice to say is glittering with more good than bad. But the few bad times she suffered were pretty big, splayed out in the media for the world to see. Ten years after her split from [Tommy] Mottola [her first husband ], Carey met current husband Nick, who she says literally came to her rescue.

Cannon’s first proposal took place on Carey’s roof in Manhattan a couple of evenings prior and involved the hiding of a 17-carat diamond ring inside a candy ring pop.

[A few days later] “He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride,” she says. “Then he re-proposed.”

[From Us Weekly]

I wonder what Mariah Carey would do if a guy treated her like a regular girl. Nothing inconsiderate, but if a guy she was seeing proposed by dropping the ring into a glass of champagne at a nice restaurant. Or heaven forbid, a message on the JumboTron. Which is how Cannon proposed to his ex-fiance, Selita Ebanks. In Times Square. I guess he learned his lesson.

I still give this marriage under a year. I haven’t seen two people pimp out a marriage since Star Jones married what’s-his-name. And even she toned it down after the wedding. With Mariah and Nick, you get the feeling they’re just getting started.

Here are a few of Mariah’s pictures from her photo shoot for the August issue of Elle.

Nick Cannon is making the PR rounds promoting… well promoting his marriage. It seems that’s about all he’s got going on in his life anymore. And really, who can blame him? If you had a nothing career with a random, unknown movie or CD here or there, and then married a multi-millionaire, that’d probably be the biggest thing going on in your life too.

Nick’s been plagued by a lot of rumors lately that he is essentially Mariah’s bitch and that their marriage is already on the rocks. So obviously the best way to prove that’s not true is to do your wife’s bidding and chat up People and Us Weekly about just how solid you’re spur-of-the-moment marriage is. Because that’ll show everyone your balls are still firmly attached.

Both People and Us wrote essentially the same story with the same quotes from Nick about just how great money marriage is.

Nick Cannon is still in the honeymoon phase with new wife Mariah Carey.

“It’s amazing!” Cannon, 27, told Usmagazine.com at the Christian Audigier nightclub grand opening in Las Vegas Thursday night. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” he continued.

[Nick's] plan is to have one [wedding] every year,” Carey gushed to Ellen DeGeneres two weeks later. “Instead of trying to be like, ‘You’re invited, but shhh, don’t tell anybody,’ we’re just going to have another one [wedding] next year.”

Up next for the lovebirds? Babies!

“I always said… if I found the right person who I felt would be on the same page as me in term of raising kids and having the same belief system, [we'd have kids],” Carey said.

Reuben Cannon told Us his half-brother Nick, “definitely wants kids,” and that he “loves [Mariah] more than any other girl.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’m sure it is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, Nick Cannon. If I married someone and suddenly got to pee in on a jewel-encrusted toilet seat as a result, I’d think it was pretty much the best thing ever too. And I’m 93% sure that’s what Nick and Mariah’s marriage is really based on.

Mariah famously took back all her statements on not wanting to have kids within seconds of marrying Nick. Which was extra funny, because she made all those statements right before she married Nick. So it seems like they’re both willing to compromise a bit, which I guess is good. Mariah agrees to have a couple kids, and Nick tells People just how happy it makes him to schedule his wife’s appointments, pick up her dry cleaning, and do her laundry. Sounds like a marriage that’ll definitely go for the long haul.

Here’s Nick Cannon (sans Mariah) at the grand opening of ‘Christian Audigier The Nightclub’ at Treasure Island hotel casino in Vegas on Friday. Photographer Judy Eddy; Images thanks to WENN.