This motherchucking DUMBASS. Linnocent has flunked an alcohol test! She’s headed back to court today. This surprises me for several reasons, although I’m not sure why I even bother being “surprised” by the insane extent of Linnocent’s crack shenanigans. First, I was just thinking yesterday how amazing it was that Linnocent’s house arrest was relatively scandal free, and I wondered how long she would be able to keep the crack drama tamped down once it was over. Haha on me. I also thought that the probation department had pretty much given up on giving Linnocent random drug and alcohol tests, which was why her house arrest was going so well. Not so much! Also, it was just yesterday that we read Linnocent’s Life & Style interview where she claimed that “alcohol is not in my house so it’s just not a part of my life.” Haha on the crackhead.

According to Radar, Linnocent flunked her alcohol test on June 12 or 13, and Judge Stephanie Sautner has ordered Linnocent to the LAX Airport Courthouse this morning on a probation violation hearing. A source tells Radar: “Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn’t consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow.” Also, the company doing Linnocent’s electric monitoring doesn’t want to continue doing so. TMZ reports that “Lindsay was tested twice last week. Sources tell TMZ … Lindsay tested positive for alcohol on one of the tests and negative on the other. In both tests, she tested negative for drugs. One of the tests was administered just after Lindsay had a rooftop barbecue party.” The probation department wants Linnocent yanked out of house arrest and put in jail. Also, here’s a fun fact: the probation department tried to randomly drug and alcohol test Linnocent in May, but Shawn Holley pulled some stunt and Linnocent didn’t have to take the tests. The probation department is also pissed that Linnocent has been throwing parties too. The hearing will be held at 10 a.m. PST (1 pm EST).

Meanwhile, there’s another crackheaded story about Linnocent’s crack shenanigans floating around. Of course it involves her house arrest! We know that while under house arrest, she films budget commercials for budget auction sites, featuring her budget “acting”. We also know that while house arrest, Linnocent has been “taking meetings” at her home, which I can only assume is some kind of code for “Mother Crackhead collects the credit card number and Linnocent ‘performs her business’.” We also know that Linnocent has been everywhere the past few days – it’s almost like she KNEW that she had flunked a piss test and she wanted to heighten the cracked-out controversy, right? Yesterday, we saw the photo shoot and interview she did with Life & Style. Well, as it turns out, Linnocent had something bigger in mind – she thought she was going to do her delusional crack act for the Today Show. Matt Lauer even flew out to LA and he was physically in her home, prepared to interview her… and then Linnocent kicked him out.

Lindsay Lohan pulled the plug on Matt Lauer last night, just before cameras were supposed to roll for her big sit-down interview.

NBC sources tell TMZ … Lauer flew to L.A. yesterday, and showed up at Lindsay’s Venice loft around 6 PM.

We’re told Lindsay was actually in the makeup chair when things went south. Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … Lauer’s team blindsided them by saying the interview would be extremely lengthy because producers were planning to put it on “Dateline” as well as “Today.”

Lindsay kicked up her heels, saying she was told it would only be a 15-minute interview, and refused to sit for anything longer. The two sides began arguing — to no avail — and then Matt just packed up and left.

We’re told before Lindsay made her decision, she consulted her publicist, Steve Honig, who agreed it was not the right time to do a televised and in depth interview. Once Lindsay decided to call it off, Honig broke the news to Lauer.

Our NBC sources say producers made it clear to Lindsay and her people before Matt even got on the plane that the interview would be lengthy … because it was servicing two shows.

Matt was not on “Today” today, and he’s just about to land back in the Big Apple.

At least he got some AAdvantage miles out of it.

[From TMZ]

Since when is a 15-minute interview on Today not considered “in depth”? Matt Lauer can move fast, especially when he’s calling out a Lohan on their crack delusions. Lauer has managed to make Dina sputter out of control in less than 15 minutes – he could for Linnocent as well. But I digress… obviously, NBC wanted to do some kind of “Dateline: Linnocent on Lockdown” piece and Linnocent needed to shut it down. BUT… in the wake of Linnocent’s failed piss test, doesn’t it seem like Linnocent did not want Lauer and the NBC people in her house for an extended period of time because she needs to keep up her crack schedule? 1 p.m. Blow. 2 p.m. Vodka shots. 3 p.m. Blow, tequila chaser. 4 p.m. Downers, back to vodka. Etc.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Life & Style.

Angelina Jolie’s interview with Matt Lauer aired this morning on the Today Show – which is weird. Usually Ann Curry (Today’s resident Brangeloonie) does the Jolie-Pitt interviews, but I guess Lauer is upping his game. Can I admit something? In the first shot of Jolie, as she’s seated before Lauer, I thought she was topless. The neckline on her blouse reveals her (bony) shoulders, and the blouse is flesh-toned (to my eyes), so it gives a very topless illusion. Anyway, here’s the video and some quotes:

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On being a celebrity: “I don’t find myself that interesting in that way. But I feel like it happens to everybody. It’s just that it’s a weird time right now. There’s just so much of all of that, for everybody. It’s just, it’s a new world.”

On aging in the industry: “I just assume the older I get, the more it’ll go away. The more private I’ll become.”

On Johnny Depp: “He’s as lovely and as interesting as you could hope for.”

On ad-libbing with Depp on set: “I loved it. I loved it… with the exception of, there were a few times I couldn’t stop laughing and I screwed up the tapes for hours on end.”

On taking “manners classes”: “I’m not completely clumsy or gross… but I’m not…There’s something about this type of woman… she doesn’t come naturally to me. She takes her time with everything. I’m am American, I get [makes hand gesture]… I get ten things done before breakfast.”

On her kids: “Hopefully they are happy, and they know that they were loved, and that they were encouraged to be who they are, and not pushed into something that they’re not. Hopefully they’ll be the strong, beautiful individuals that they are today, and be happy in their lives, be fulfilled in their lives, and be living their lives honestly.”

[Quotes courtesy of People, and my own transcribing]

She sounds good. I like the reference Matt made to Angelina “with curlers in her hair” – what is this, the 1950s? Sure, some women sit around with curlers, but it was a strange reference.

For more photos from The Tourist premiere last night, go here and here.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Kanye West’s interview with Matt Lauer aired this morning on The Today Show. I remember hearing yesterday that Kanye was freaking out on Twitter about this, claiming that Lauer “TRIED TO FORCE MY ANSWERS” and calling it “BRUTAL.” (Kaiser put some of those tweets in her story yesterday on Kanye’s meeting with Bush.)

On the Today Show, Kanye got very emotional when addressing how he felt about Bush’s claim that Kanye’s “Bush doesn’t care about black people” outburst was the low point of his Presidency. You could tell that Kanye was agitated and that he was very affected by the topic. It wasn’t Matt Lauer’s fault, Lauer was just the same as he always is with sensitive topics and Kanye definitely could have handled it better. Kanye was taking himself way too seriously as usual. It’s obvious he was earnest and heartfelt about it, and he’s already apologized and said that he empathizes with Bush. But of course he got his panties in a twist and couldn’t just recite his talking points without rallying against Lauer and The Today Show.

After the Today Show aired the interview, Matt Lauer came on and explained why Kanye got upset on Twitter, because they showed that clip from the 2009 VMAs where Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift. Lauer explained that they show those type of clips all the time.

Kanye West appeared on TODAY Thursday in a prerecorded interview in which he responded to President George W. Bush’s reaction to the rapper’s allegation that Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina indicated that Bush “didn’t care about black people.” In his book “Decision Points,” Bush called that moment “one of the most disgusting moments” of his presidency.

“As far as it being the worst moment of his presidency, you know, I can’t … really speak to that … his take, his explanation, I completely agree with. And I — I empathize. It’s totally — and I felt like that the entire time,” West told Matt Lauer in the interview. Continuing, West said that he knew it wasn’t right to call Bush a racist. “And you sit there and you know — you know in your heart as a person that to — an emotion — you know, in a moment of emotion to peg someone or to call a name or peg someone as a racist is not — it’s — it’s just not right.”

Amid that confession another controversy stirred, this time in a series of tweets from West, written after he taped the talk with Lauer Tuesday, alleging that he was put in an uncomfortable situation in the course of his TODAY interview. What really happened?

As explained Thursday morning on TODAY, while West was speaking to Lauer on Tuesday, explaining at one point that he empathized with the president in the wake of his own Taylor Swift controversy, tape of West’s MTV VMA appearance rolled in the background.

West: Yo, how am I supposed to talk if you’re gonna run this thing in the middle of my talking?

Lauer: It’s under, you won’t be hearing it.

West: I am hearing it while I am trying to talk.

Lauer: OK, can you take the sound out of the overheads please, let’s pick up. You said it wasn’t a race thing?

West: Please don’t let that happen again.

West will appear on TODAY for a live performance on the Plaza on Friday, Nov. 26.

[From Scoop.TodayShow.com]

Lauer made the mistake of assuming that Kanye is like other people in that he needs a legitimate reason to get upset. He doesn’t – anything that Kanye doesn’t agree with he rallies against and justifies. The guy can apologize but it’s not like he’s changed.

As Kaiser mentioned yesterday, Kanye has already met with Bush and offered his apology, which Bush accepted. Bush probably let Kanye finish.

One more thing – I have to mention how puffy Kanye’s face is on the right side. I think those diamond teeth are messing up his mouth.

Last week, one of the biggest stories ended up being about Kanye West, George W. Bush, and a little incident that occurred more than five years ago. It seems that when Kanye West declared “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” during the Hurricane Katrina telethon back in 2005, it was Bush’s “all-time low”. Yes, Bush thought Kanye calling him a “racist” was the worst moment of his presidency. Hours after that revelation, Kanye responded in an atypically gracious way, telling a radio deejay that he is now sorry he said what he said, and that now he knows it was a “lack of compassion” that lead to him tearing Bush down. And now, the follow-up. Bush sat down for yet another exclusive with Matt Lauer this morning on the Today Show, and Bush explained how he and Kanye are now buds and that he (Bush) is “not a hater.”

George Bush says he and Kanye West have patched things up. After Bush, 64, bashed West, 33, in his new book for once calling him a racist, he said on the Today Show Wednesday that he has “absolutely” forgiven the rapper.

West “stopped by to see me yesterday,” Bush said. “He seems to have changed his tone rather dramatically.”

West famously declared on the 2005 televised Concert for Hurricane Relief, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” blaming him for the reason that America helps “the less well-off as slow as possible.”

When Today’s Matt Lauer showed Bush a tape of West’s rant, Bush said, “I appreciate that. It wasn’t just Kanye West who was talking like that during Katrina. I cited him as an example. I cited others as well. I appreciate that.”

But he stressed that they have both moved on.

“I’m not a hater,” the former president said. “I didn’t hate Kanye West. I was talking about an environment in which people were saying things that hurt. Nobody wants to be called racist if, in your heart, you believe in equality of race.”

[From Us Weekly]

So now it’s over. And Bush and Kanye can be buds now. You know what’s remarkable? I actually think Kanye apologized to Bush, and that he meant it, and I think Bush probably also truly “forgave” Kanye. They probably are buddies now.

Funny story though – Kanye now is a Matt Lauer hater. Kanye ranted about Lauer for a half an hour this morning – go to Kanye’s Twitter for the whole thing, here’s a portion:

Ugh. I can’t even with Kanye this morning. This is just an FYI: Matt Lauer is officially a HATER.

One last thing – did everybody see this? Bush really wanted to endorse Obama, but he only endorsed McCain because he “had to”. UPDATE: Bush denied this. Well, his spokesman denied that he would have endorsed anyone but McCain, but he didn’t deny that he told British journalists that he would have endorsed Obama.

When I read that Sandra Bullock was going to give her first TV interview after the scandal over her now ex-husband being a tattooed swastika-loving creep who thinks with his dick, I thought “hasn’t she already given a televised interview?” It turns out she hasn’t, and has only spoken to People Magazine along with making several event appearances. The fact that I follow celebrity gossip so closely and was initially confused about this speaks to how expertly Sandra and her people have handled her image. They waited until the divorce was final and the scandal lost its shock value to put Sandra out there in person. They also leaked several strategic stories to the press on Sandra’s relationship with Jesse in preparation for whatever she decided to do. Thankfully she hasn’t reunited with the guy despite his move to Austin to be closer to her, and she’s now headed for more success with at least six films in development. She’s also helping out the Warren Easton Charter School in New Orleans and will be speaking to Today Show’s Matt Lauer from New Orleans to highlight her work there.

Newsflash: Sandra Bullock will give her first TV interview since splitting with Jesse James on Tuesday.

She will sit down with Today’s Matt Lauer in New Orleans.

Days after winning her Best Actress Oscar for The Blind Side, the actress, 46, was blindsided when news broke that her husband of five years had an affair.

In April — months before finalizing her divorce from James, 40 – she announced that she had adopted a baby from New Orleans: 3 ½-month-old son, Louis.

Bullock is currently in talks to star alongside Tom Hanks in the 9/11 drama, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

[From US Weekly]

You know, I bet Sandra will primarily talk about her charity work and career and will give like two minor well rehearsed blurbs on that whole mess with Jesse. I don’t think she’s going to get into any of that and she’ll speak about it in general terms and move on. It’s also interesting that she’s doing it from New Orleans. This reminds me of the interview Angelina Jolie did with Anne Curry in Namibia back when she was pregnant with Shiloh in 2006. If a celebrity wants to take the focus away from a scandal, the best way to do that is to have the interview in a place where there’s something immediate and preferably positive to talk about. The fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina is Sunday, and the new health clinic in the Warren Easton Charter School will open on that day. It offers full service medical and dental care and has been funded by The San Francisco 49ers, the Kellogg Foundation and Sandra. She’s handled her image very well but given what a genuinely good, caring person she it’s not like she’s misleading us one bit. The public adores her and that’s not going to change. [via Just Jared]

Here’s Sandra getting bread yesterday, 8/25. She’s also shown with her bodyguard on 8/24 and picking up dry cleaning on 8/22. Jesse and his daughters Sunny, 6, and Chandler, 15, are shown on 8/25 and Fame did a split photo thing, but they were “miles” away from those other photos taken of Sandra. It’s not like they were nearby. Credit: Fame Pictures

Mother Crackhead isn’t just content to lie for the Today audience. Now she has to do some f-cked up, cracked-out damage control spin for the post-game. To summarize: in what is becoming the biggest story of a slow news day, Dina Lohan appeared on this morning’s Today show. Her lies were epic, her delusions were unhinged, her face was Botoxy and if you were playing a drinking game where you chugged every time you heard the words “propaganda” or “hardball” or “murderers”, you would be in the hospital by now. So anyway, PopEater just put up this interesting little piece – an interview with one of Dina’s “friends” (note: not an ice cream cake or a pack of Menthols). Dina’s “friend” describes how “surprised” she was with Matt Lauer’s questioning, even though Lauer really didn’t go on the attack as much as any of us would have liked. Apparently, Dina felt “ambushed” because “she knows she’s a great mother and Lindsay will get out of rehab soon. Everyone makes mistake, it’s just that Lindsay makes it into the papers.” Oh, you delusional cow.

Matt Lauer put Dina Lohan in the hot seat on Friday, pressing the showbiz mom to defend daughter Lindsay Lohan and address long-hovering scrutiny for the way she raised the troubled starlet. It was a tense 11 minutes of television, with Lohan appearing uneasy and even combative at times.

“Dina felt ambushed by Matt,” a family friend told PopEater after speaking with Lohan. “She was surprised how many tough questions he asked.”

According to our source, Lohan wanted to focus the ‘Today’ chat on Judge Marsha Revel’s alleged mishandling of her daughter’s case, along with her take on the media’s portrayal of Lindsay.

“She didn’t understand why [Lauer] kept asking her those other questions — she knows she’s a great mother and Lindsay will get out of rehab soon,” the friend insists. “Everyone makes mistake, it’s just that Lindsay makes it into the papers.”

Lauer pressed Lohan on her parenting skills in the oft-terse interview, but she rebuffed, saying she had to let the troubled actress go through personal trials in order to emerge a better person.

“As a parent, you have to let them go a little bit,” she said during the Friday morning chat. “When she went out to Los Angeles when she was 19, I had to let her live and fall and fail and survive. Without failure, there’s no success.”

Dina Lohan stressed that she does not condone Lindsay’s behavior — “You can’t make your child not go out and go to a club and not get behind the wheel of a car” — and confirmed reports that Lindsay will be released early from rehab, but declined to say exactly when. In her chat with Lauer, the celebrity mom said her daughter was doing “wonderfully” after 14 days in jail for a DUI probation violation.

Lauer also appeared to trip up Lohan in a discussion of how many times Lindsay has been to rehab. She insisted it had only been twice, but the actress has in fact gone four times. Our source tells us Dina was referring to court-ordered stints (2) and not the pair of times Lindsay sought help of her own volition.

Lohan also raised eyebrows when she told Lauer that she hasn’t been with ex-husband Michael Lohan for 15 years, even though their divorce was only finalized in 2007. Again, our source: “Yes, she has spoken to and seen Michael, but he hasn’t been a father or a husband for over 15 years.”

Lohan canceled her other scheduled interview on Friday — with PopEater’s Naughty But Nice Rob — citing exhaustion.

Throughout the interview, Dina tried to return the focus to Judge Revel, whom she blasted for going “overboard” with her sentence and rejoiced in her recent recusal of the case.

“The judge played hardball,” she told Lauer. “Lindsay was in with alleged murderers and she’s become friends with a lot of them. Lindsay rolled with the punches and she’s doing wonderfully.”

Lauer was pointed with his questions, and Lohan brushed off the notion that many believe Lindsay had her punishment coming to her because of bad behavior.

“I think that’s all propaganda and what people are reading,” she told him. “As you know, you’re in the business of entertainment, so I think a lot of it is pre-orchestrated and you’re reading things that are not based on fact.”

Just after Dina’s ‘Today’ show appearance, her ex-husband was interviewed on ‘The Early Show,’ and voiced his disapproval of Lindsay’s early release from rehab. “She needs help. If she’s not taken off all of the drugs, if she doesn’t have therapy, family therapy as well as individual, I feel it’s just a Band-Aid and it’s not going to get any better,” he said.

Michael also expressed his desire to reconnect with Lindsay as she continues along the road to recovery — “We have to mend fences … This is not something we can just overlook anymore” — and lamented his poor relationship with Dina. “I don’t understand how she comes out with some of these things she says,” Michael said. “But that’s on her. That’s not on me. This is about our daughter. It’s not about being part of her career. It’s about being parents.”

Lohan also said Lindsay will moving back to New York after finishing her commitments in Los Angeles. California is “a wonderful state,” she said, but “it’s a different game you play there, the court system is a little different.”

[From PopEater]

Yeah, as LaineyGossip said, it would be great to have an interview where Dina is realy fact-checked to death. But it probably won’t happen anytime soon. It kind of sucks for Lauer though – he didn’t even go after her like the delusional liar she is, and now Dina is bashing him? UGH. Here’s the video, again:

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A few weeks ago, The National Enquirer and Radar made a huge deal about Matt Lauer allegedly splitting with his Dutch wife Annette. To jazz up the story, I included some internet rumors that Lauer was boning Meredith Vieira, although I doubted it at the time. The Enquirer ran another cover about “Matt’s Affairs” that I don’t think we even bothered covering, as it was clear that even if Lauer was or is having problems in his marriage, his wife seems to be sticking by him right now.

In any case, one of Lauer’s alleged mistresses is a lady named Alexis Houston. Page Six claims that Hollyscoop was the first to report that Lauer might have been boning Alexis, but I think it was probably the Enquirer or Radar. Anyway, the rumor existed, and this pissed off Alexis Houston. So she hired Gloria Allred and held a press conference to deny the Lauer affair. And Page Six proceeded to dig up some dirt on Alexis. Like, her name used to be Wellington Houston, and she used to have a penis.

Alexis Houston — the singer who held a press conference last week to announce she never had sex with “Today” show host Matt Lauer — had some interesting yesterdays. She used to be a man who called himself Wellington Houston.

Whitney Houston sued Wellington (whose original name was Stuart) in 1996 because he was claiming to be her cousin. Whitney alleged that Wellington used the false relationship to defraud an elderly New York doctor of $100,000 using credit cards and forged checks, the AP reported at the time.

Wellington resurfaced in 2001 with a demo CD titled “All’s Well.” The Daily Record in Glasgow, Scotland, gushed: “Whitney Houston’s pop crown is under threat — from her own cousin. Wellington Houston, 23, is being hailed as the next big thing in the US. But although Whitney sings on his demo CD, Wellington doesn’t want to cash in on his famous family. He said, ‘All I want from my family are good wishes.’”

According to one source who has known the singer for years, Wellington had sex-change surgery three years ago after a man fell in love with the cross-dressing singer and paid for the operation.

“She told me they got married in Niagara Falls,” said our source, “but they have since separated.”

Alexis’ Web site said she started singing in the choir at the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark when she was 6.

The scurrilous Web site Hollyscoop.com claimed May 13 that Lauer had an affair with Alexis after meeting her on the “Today” show set in 2007.

Last Friday, Alexis held a press conference outside Michael’s on West 55th Street with headline-hogging lawyer Gloria Allred. Speaking with a Madonna-like British accent, Alexis said, “I feel that my privacy and personal space has been invaded.”

Neither Alexis nor Allred would comment yesterday. Michael J. Griffith, a lawyer Alexis has known for years, also refused to comment on Alexis’ past.

[From Page Six]

Now, at this point, this really has nothing to do with Matt Lauer, other then the brief, fleeting thought of Lauer getting his rocks off on a post-op transvestite/woman who used to go by “Wellington Houston”. Which, by the way, is the best fake Whitney-Houston-cousin name ever. The issue is all about this lady’s insanity and drama, and the fact that she’s likely a grifter looking to make some quick cash off the rumors that she probably started in the first place. Why did Gloria Allred take the case?!?

The white dude with Wellington/Alexis is her boyfriend, by the way.

I’ve been hearing sh-t about Matt Lauer’s marriage problems, real or alleged, for a while now. I seem to remember some rumors about how he and his Dutch wife Annette Roque separated last year or something, and they haven’t been photographed together in a while. This is the first time I realized he’s already on his second marriage, though. His current (maybe estranged) wife Annette is his second wife, and they’ve been married since 1998. His first wife was a television producer named Nancy Alspaugh, and they were married from 1982-89. Nancy is the one the National Enquirer interviews, and her quotes seem to be the basis for this week’s cover story.

Previous Enquirer story:
Today Show star Matt Lauer’s six-year marriage to stunning model Annette Roque is over, sources claim. The National Enquirer can reveal that in recent weeks the 47- year-old TV star has been secretly shopping for his own New York City apartment.

“I heard he and Annette are breaking up,” confirmed Lauer’s ex-wife Nancy Alspaugh. “I was not shocked to hear that. But it’s very sad.”

Dutch-born Annette, 39, the mother of their two children, is said to be heartbroken by the difficulties in their marriage which in the past has been dogged by stories of his womanizing.

*****New Enquirer story:

MATT LAUER has walked out on his wife of 12 years after she furiously accused the Today star of cheating with at least two women, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively.

After an explosive two-day fight, the 52-year-old father of three moved out of the family home – and his fed-up wife Annette is no longer wearing her wedding ring, reveal sources.

AND in an exclusive ENQUIRER interview, Annette’s mother confirmed the marital blowup and that Matt has left the family apartment.

The ENQUIRER learned an enraged Annette accused Matt of fooling around during Today’s on-site coverage of the Olympics in Vancouver.

According to a source, the broadcaster and colleagues “went wild” at nightspots.

[From The National Enquirer]

Oh, so he’s supposed to be a womanizer! Does anyone know who he’s allegedly been boning? I did a one-minute Google search and apparently there are rumors about Matt and his Today co-anchor Meredith Vieira! Social Mediaseo claims: “There isn’t a whole lot of substance to there rumors at the moment, but the allegations are substantial enough to where people are starting to talk about this issue on a pretty large scale.” So basically, a lot of conjecture based on Meredith and Matt’s on-screen chemistry?

Matt & Annette on December 12, 2009 & May 8, 2007. Matt & Meredith on November 24, 2009. Credit: WENN. Enquirer cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

Sacha Baron Cohen was on The Late Show on Tuesday promoting his film Bruno, but he wasn’t in character and just told some stories about working on the films Borat and Bruno. He’s almost as entertaining when he’s himself and you can tell what a clever, funny guy he is.

Today Cohen was on “The Today Show” for an interview with Matt Lauer, but he went as the flamboyant faux-Austrian TV host Bruno and Lauer completely played along with it. In fact Lauer asked him questions relating to his character as if some of the plot lines from the movie (not the stunts in particular) really happened to him. It was pretty much genius on Lauer’s part. He deserves a lot of credit for keeping a completely straight face and not busting out laughing, especially because you could hear people in the studio laughing hysterically through the interview. Lauer laughed at times but then completely pulled it together and kept plugging away with the questions and making it seem like a real interview. He is a consummate professional.

Lauer: It also ruined your career in Europe. [The Fashion show stunt] You lost your job hosting a fashion television show. You were blacklisted from basically every fashion event in Europe. Is that what made you come to the United States?

Bruno: You know, Ich vanted to come here and become like an internationally respected figure, like Heidi Montag from da Hills.

Lauer: And to seek uber fame…

Bruno: Ich vanted to become the most famous celebrity from Austria since Hitler.

What has the reaction been in this country as compared to how people in your home country of Austria tend to reactto you.

Bruno: They treat gay Austrians really well here. In California, they made one of them governor.

Lauer [laughs, but then pulls it together quickly]

[On Bruno's trip to the Middle East] You seem to be confused about some very basic things. For example, in speaking to an Israeli and Palestinian… you confused Hamas with hummus.

Bruno: yeah, they’re basically the same thing.

Lauer: Do you know they’re not the same thing? Are you a little clearer on that issue now?

Bruno: The situation there is like really complex. The Palestinians have got their enemies, the Israelis, but I’ve got my enemies too. My enemies is carbohydrates. I’ve had to declare jihad on Haagen Dazs.

But the real problem there is fashion, right? I mean if I opened my vardrobe and all I saw was like a black burka and some sandals I’d blow myself up too.

[Lauer starts laughing, quickly gets straight-faced again]

[Roughly transcribed from Bruno's appearance on The Today Show, 7/8/09, video above]

Matt brought up the statement from GLAAD which expresses concern that Bruno will make things worse for the gay community. Bruno asked “Why all this backbiting from my community? I never saw the astronaut community getting upset about Buzz Lightyear. The great thinkers have always been persecuted. Plato, Aristotle, Shakira.”

Lauer also mentioned that the Austrian minister to England is calling for a boycott of the film Bruno, and Bruno started faux crying, said it was the first he’d heard of it, and asked Matt for a hug.

This interview was just so funny and I’m really geared up to see Bruno this weekend. It’s out in many countries by tomorrow, July 10.

Here’s Sacha Baron Cohen outside the Late Show on 7/7/09. He did a photo op in character but was himself for the interview with Letterman. Credit: WENN.com

When the now-infamous “rude, thoughtless little pig” voicemail message Alec Baldwin left his daughter was first made public, Alec waited until the media outlets had finished dancing around, and then quietly gave a public apology. His explanation then was that he was simply angry and frustrated with his daughter, his ex-wife Kim Basinger, and with the legal system on the whole.

Alec is now talking about the whole incident extensively with Playboy (story via People). Alec claims that in the immediate aftermath of the tape’s release, he was suicidal. He even claims to have gotten professional help, and says that his reasoning for not committing suicide was that “If I committed suicide, [Kim Basinger's side] would have considered that a victory. Destroying me was their avowed goal.” Yikes. He’s basically saying he didn’t commit suicide because that’s just what Kim Basinger wanted – his dead body. He also talks about how he will never again appear on The Today Show, because Matt Lauer spoke to Harvey Levin about the tape without even calling Alec. That I understand:

It was the private voicemail message not meant to be shared and yet ended up being heard by nearly everyone – Alec Baldwin’s angry April 2007 tirade against his daughter, Ireland, accusing the then-11-year-old of being a “rude little pig” who needed to have her “ass straightened out” after she had “humiliated me for the last time.”

Only now, as the Emmy-winning 30 Rock star admits in a candid interview with Playboy for its July/August issue (on newsstands and online Friday), after the phone message was exposed, he contemplated killing himself.

At the time of the voicemail, Baldwin and his ex-wife, Kim Basinger, were in the sixth year of their bitter custody battle over the child. In the wake of public outrage about the contents of the message, Baldwin set about repairing his public image, apologizing during an appearance on The View and writing an advice book for divorced fathers, A Promise to Ourselves. But reaching those points proved an arduous climb.

Describing his thoughts of killing himself as “very serious,” Baldwin, 51, says, “I spoke to a lot of professionals, who helped me … If I committed suicide, [Kim Basinger's side] would have considered that a victory. Destroying me was their avowed goal.”

His self-destructive state of mind was such, recalls Baldwin, that he also offered to quit 30 Rock and actually went ahead and – briefly – dropped his agent, who also represented Basinger.

As for why Baldwin chose The View as his platform to unburden himself, he says, “Whoopi Goldberg is a friend. I called her and said, ‘Do you think I can get a fair shake?’ Because when you talk about family law and parental alienation, there is this unfortunate gender-based dynamic. Could I walk into a show with a strong female audience? Would they understand my point of view? I trusted Whoopi and Barbara Walters. Whoopi is an impeccably decent person, and I am grateful she gave me a forum.”

In the course of his Playboy interview, Baldwin does not share similar sentiments about some others in the media, whom he has yet to forgive for the roles they played at the time of the controversy. He calls producer Harvey Levin of TMZ – which first made the voicemail public – “a human tumor, a graceless character who lives in that weird netherworld.”

Nor will Baldwin agree to appear on his own network’s top-rated morning program. “I’m on an NBC show, and Today was considered vital,” says the actor, who will also soon be seen with Cameron Diaz in the movie My Sister’s Keeper. “But when that voicemail tape thing happened, Matt Lauer interviewed [Harvey] Levin before he even called me. Lauer put Levin on Today, and they never phoned me. When it’s in their interest to reach me, they know how. I saw that and said, ‘My relationship with the Today show is over.’ I’ll never do Today again, ever. Life’s too short.”

[From People]

I totally get Alec’s media complaints, and I understand the Matt Lauer stuff. I don’t think Alec is in the wrong on that count – and it’s totally his call which media outlets he will speak to. But back to the crux of the issue – the tape, the aftermath and what it says about Alec. Personally, I understood his frustration and anger in general about the never-ending divorce and custody battle between him and Kim, but I thought the message crossed the line into verbal abuse. I can’t even imagine having a father who would take out a nasty divorce on his kid in that way, and that’s coming from an only child of a nasty divorce. My thoughts on Alec are currently that he’s a brilliant actor with a pretty screwed up personality and personal life. I can watch 30 Rock, and I generally avoid interviews with him. That’s my compromise.

Alec Baldwin is shown on 5/12/09 at an exhibition at the UN. Credit: WENN.com