Bust out your “I Heart Tito” tops kids! The Jackson 5 will be touring again. Marlon, Tito, Jackie, Jermaine and yes even Michael will be bringing the afro back. For the first time in over 23 years they will gather together to crank out a live tour starting in the UK. It is more like the Jackson 4 and that creepy manimal, but they are excited to have Michael on board.

Michael will be involved. We want to tour. We want to touch the lives of everybody who’s bought our records and supported us. It will probably start here first, but it will be sometime in 2008. That’s our plan.

[From BBC 6 Music]

Meanwhile, Jermaine has been busy peddling his family story. Currently, he is putting together a musical based on the early days of creating the Jackson 5. Another project in relation to the musical has reportedly peeked the interest of the brutally honest “America Idol” judge….Simon Cowell.

“We have a show called In Search of the Legends: The Jackson 5. We’re finding people who are gonna play us which is gonna be a reality show. I’m talking to Simon Cowell for some of his involvement. We’re very excited about it.”

Is it just me or does anyone else see the potential flop? It sounds to me like it will be a huge circus-like gathering. They might as well throw Britney in there and make it the worst attempt at a last ditch effort.

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s the Jackson 5 doing “I Want You Back”

Apparently people were all up in a tizzy saying Michael Jackson was getting married. To a woman. A genetically original woman. I didn’t hear anything about said tizzy, but it was big enough to require Jacko’s people to release an official statement. Apparently it’s not true. Though he’s such a weird guy and there’s so much mystery surrounding him that I wouldn’t rule anything out. He probably did get married, it was just to a coffee maker or other random household appliance instead of a woman.

“Michael Jackson and his kids remain the only ones donning the veils in the family. The singer’s rep issued a firm denial Thursday in response to a sudden flurry of reports stating that the self-proclaimed King of Pop had swapped vows with his children’s nanny, Grace Rwaramba, a frequent fixture in the courtroom during his trial on child-molestation charges in 2005.

“‘Wide spreading reports regarding Michael Jackson being married are not true,’ publicist and resident rumor-buster Raymone Bain said in a statement to E! News. ‘Documents stating otherwise are a hoax.’

“Earlier Thursday, the National Enquirer’s Website quoted a source supposedly close to the pair who said, ‘Grace was happy to go along with it. She’s always been devoted to Michael and has raised the kids since the day they were born. Michael knew she’d make a perfect stepmother.’
“The tabloid also said that it had obtained a real estate document on which Jackson referred to himself as a ‘married man.’”

[From E! News]

How does Michael Jackson keep getting so many ladies? He looks like a lady! Michael’s got some serious financial worries. He’s being sued by just about every business in America, and a least three quarters of the American public. I’m guessing that – if he did marry the kids’ nanny – he just did it to save money since he wouldn’t have to pay her a salary anymore. But let’s be honest, being the King of Pop’s wife has its advantages. You always have access to blankets when you’re cold – just reach over and pull one off a random kid. You have unlimited Jesus Juice. All the monkeys you can handle. And the guy will never bother you for sex at three in the morning. In fact you probably won’t even have to share a bed with him. Sounds like an ideal marriage to me. Especially the monkeys.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Images thanks to PR Photos.

Every so often you hear a story about one of Michael Jackson’s crazy eccentricities – and his PR people always rush to tell you all the wonderful, charitable things he does for people, kind of to counteract the madness. But after a while, you hear so many bizarre things, and enough of them turn out to be true that you realize someone’s really a nutcase. We all reached this point a long time ago with Jackson, especially regarding crazy lawsuits against the guy. But one emerged today that tells a pretty clear story about the true selfishness of his character.

Back in 2005, Michael had that pesky little child molestation trial. He showed up late, or in pajamas, or not at all, on several occasions, often citing his fragile health. On one occasion he went to the hospital for “flu-like” symptoms – I think it was one of the times the judge ordered deputies to come find him and bring him to trial. Well this particular time, Jackson was admitted to Marian Medical Center in Santa Maria. The hospital didn’t have any empty double rooms, only half occupied doubles and singles. Well a single wasn’t enough space for Jackson, and he certainly couldn’t be bothered to be charitable enough to another human being as to share a double room with them. So Manuela Gomez Ruiz, who was already in a double room, was booted out to make way for Jackson and his entourage. Ruiz had just had a heart attack that day, and had been on critical life supporting machines until she was kicked out and kept in an exam room using hand-pumped oxygen. She had another heart attack, but due to the hubbub of Jackson’s presence, doctors couldn’t get to her in time, and she died. So her family is suing Jackson and Marian Medical Center, in what seems to be a very fair case. Unfortunately the case has been halted, and the family will have to re-file over technicalities.

“The family of Manuela Gomez Ruiz had sued Jackson and Marian Medical Center in Santa Maria, claiming she was kept from critical care after she had a heart attack on the same day Jackson was brought in with flu-like symptoms during his 2005 child-molestation trial. Jackson was acquitted in the case.

“Judge Rodney Melville — also the judge in Jackson’s molestation case — on Tuesday allowed challenges to the complaint filed by attorneys for Jackson and the hospital, who had argued the facts of the case didn’t justify the complaint.
“Melville gave the plaintiffs’ attorney, James McKiernan, 30 days to redraft their complaint. McKiernan said he would refile the necessary documents.

The lawsuit said the 73-year-old Ruiz was on life-support after a massive heart attack and was moved from a two-bed room so Jackson could occupy it by himself. She was kept alive in an exam room using hand-pumped oxygen until she could be reconnected to a life-support machine, court papers said.

“The lawsuit alleged she had another heart attack but the crowd milling around the pop star delayed her arrival at the critical-care unit. Ruiz died later that night. The complaint cites the ‘outrageous, circus-like atmosphere they orchestrated during the last hours of Manuela Ruiz’s life and its obvious emotional and mental lasting effects upon the plaintiffs.’”

[From the Associated Press]

This is one lawsuit that I truly hope goes through. I know people will say Michael Jackson didn’t actually kill her, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t bare some culpability. Yes he didn’t sit on her chest or anything, but if he hadn’t been his diva self and had settled for a private room or shared the room Ms. Ruiz was already occupying, she might not have died. The biggest ethical burden lays with the hospital, in my opinion. Michael Jackson can act like a queen bee all he wants, they still have the moral obligation to look out for all of their patients equally, and it sounds like they didn’t do that. I doubt Jackson has any money left to his name, but I hope he’s penalized in some way. If he truly cares about people as much as he claims – and let’s be honest, that’s all PR spin – he should spend the rest of his life feeling horribly guilty that his selfishness contributed to another person’s death.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Michael at the 2006 World Music Awards. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Just when you think life couldn’t suck for Michael Jackson anymore than it already does: surprise! He’s being sued again! In fact two completely separate lawsuits involved completely unrelated issues were filed within two days of each other. Several years ago I remember reading that at any one point, Michael Jackson has three lawsuits pending against him. This was during his molestation trial, and I remember thinking that number was an exaggeration – but now I’m pretty sure it’s dead on. First up to bat this time around are a team of Michael’s former lawyers… you know, the very guys that have to deal with his constant lawsuits. Turns out, the Gloved One doesn’t really think he needs to pay for things, including legal services. Besides Jesus Juice, I can’t think of anything Michael goes through more of than lawyers. The Los Angeles law firm of Lavely & Singer has sued Michael for $113,000 the singer has failed to pay. The firm had sent up a payment plan to help Jackson settle up his bill of $540,000, but even then he failed to make the last payment.

“Several lawyers who worked for Michael Jackson claim “Jacko” hasn’t paid the money he owes them.

“A lawsuit filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court claims Jackson owes the law firm of Lavely & Singer $113,750, the Web site tmz.com reported. Even after setting up a payment plan to pay off the debts, Jackson failed to do so, according to the lawsuit.

“This is not the first time Jackson has been accused of not paying his legal bills. The same Web site reported in June that a Delaware-based law firm sued Jackson. Lawyers claimed he owed them nearly $110,000. The Web site reported that the Delaware firm acted as general counsel for Jackson in a lawsuit where a concert promoter sued Jackson, saying he backed out of two New Year’s Eve concerts in 2000.

“On July 17, 2007, the Web site showbizspy.com reported that Jackson was ordered to pay more than $256,000 in outstanding legal bills associated with part of his defense in the child molestation charges in 2005. The Web site reported that Jackson’s attorney agreed in principle to the judgment because going to trial would be costly for his client.”

[From NBC affiliate wyff4.com]

Has Michael Jackson paid for anything since around 1992? I think he’s just relied on the kindness of others, and people’s assumptions that he’ll pay them back. Look, a guy with his own Tilt-a-Whirl is not reliable folks. Even Michael’s former friends are suing him. Remember how he escaped to Bahrain after he was acquitted of child molestation? Well the Prince Abdullah - who so generously put him up – has filed a lawsuit against Jacko as well. Abdullah showered Jackson with gifts during his stay. According to Fox News, “He housed him, fed him, chauffeured him and even imported Jacko’s friends to Bahrain for a special Christmas in 2005.” What did the Sheik want in turn for is kindness? To make a record – and Jackson agreed.

“All the prince wanted in return was to make a CD and start a record company with Michael. Jackson agreed, as usual signed agreements he had no intention of keeping and then did no work. You may recall Two Seas Records, the joint venture that Jackson agreed to, for example.

“Now the prince is demanding in his lawsuit that Michael go to work for him as agreed. Abdullah expects Jackson to make his record and put it out so the prince can begin to recoup the millions he invested in Michael during their friendship. Fat chance.

“Jackson hasn’t worked at anything in years — no performing, no recording. Occasionally, he announces that he is making some kind of record, but so far there’s no evidence of this.

“That Jackson is now being sued — in London, no less — by his former benefactor is a bad sign for the singer. He has depended on the kindness of Arab billionaires for some time now, but between this and what seems to be his current nomad status, he may have exhausted his credit in the last place where it still existed.”

[From Fox News]

I guess there’s no point in commenting on the crazy that is Michael Jackson. It’s all been said. I think the guy has pretty much burned all his bridges. For years Michael’s family and lawyers have talked about how often people try to take advantage of him. It seems he’s pretty good at taking advantage of everyone else, too.

Thanks to SplashNews for this picture.

Liza Minelli’s former husband and Scariest Looking Man Ever contest winner David Gest’s ITV television show has been canceled. Gest hosted a show called “This is David Gest” which was a sort of fly-on-the-wall type show. Apparently he got the gig because he won fans with his, “quirky sense of humor on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!” I wasn’t under the impression that people thought he was funny, they just thought he was a jerk. Exciting as his show sounds; it only attracted two million viewers, so ITV axed it after six months, even though they’d signed on for a year. Apparently there was a lot of backstage drama and too many problems ensued. The sexually questionable Gest has long been famousfor his temper tantrums and hissy fits. Gest also had a part on the critically denigrated show “Grease Is The Word.”

The best part of the story is the quote given from ITV head honcho Simon Shaps. “’We don’t have any plans for him. We’re not signing him to another deal - I’m not sure what you would do next.’” I think that’s probably representative of the feelings the general public has towards Gest as well.

In equally appalling David Gest/Liza Minnelli news, the pair are together again… at least their wedding is. Their lavish (tacky) union just topped Forbes.com’s list as the most expensive celebrity wedding ever, coming in at over $3.5 million. I don’t think they spent their money that well, because the only lasting impression I have of their wedding are those absolutely horrifying pictures of them with Liz Taylor (the matron of honor) and Michael Jackson (the best man). I thought they held their wedding at a Taco Bell or something. Apparently there were 15 bridesmaids and 15 groomsmen, and 55 famous singers performed at their reception, held at the Regent Hotel in New York. They also register for four soup bowls that were $3,000 apiece. They made Star Jones’s affair look classy and understated in comparison.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures of Gest out in London on 4/24/07, or 24/4/07, depending on if you’re in Europe.

What in the world allows a man to live such a crazy, delusional existence? While hunting for a new home in Maryland this past weekend, Michael Jackson harassed staffers at the Inn at Perry Cabin. Just one of his demands? Chicken fingers at 4 in the morning. Because who doesn’t have those ready and available? Jackson also called and blessed the hotel’s manager, according to the New York Post.

Jackson was in the area looking for a new summer home. Is he really in a position to do that?

“And it remains unclear whether Jackson could actually afford a new home: In recent years, prosecutors and former financial advisers have alleged in court that the star is teetering on bankruptcy, a charge his lawyers denied; just a year ago, Jackson agreed to settle some of his mounting debts by selling half of his valuable music publishing catalogue, which includes the rights to the Beatles’ songs.”

[From the Washington Post]

How in the world does this man continue to exist? He supposedly has a ridiculous amount of debt, the kind that would keep a rational person from piling their ten person entourage onto their private plane and heading across the country to scope out some new luxury real estate. So what are Michael Jackson’s main reasons for moving?

“Jackson came east with his children about 10 days ago for meetings because ‘the majority of his advisers and attorneys are on the East Coast,’ Bain said. Meanwhile, Bain told us, ‘He’s always admired the properties on the East Coast because they have a lot of land. Neverland has 3,000 acres — he likes privacy. You can’t find as many properties like that on the West Coast.’”

[From the Washington Post]

I’m sure the East Coast has some gorgeous old beach estates… but now? I thought I’d heard all these rumors that he was evicted from the place he was staying in Las Vegas? Yeah I know he said he just chose not to exercise his option to buy at the end of his lease, but that’s what I’d say if I were kicked out. And why was he renting if he can afford to buy? I would, however, love to see the Gloved One in one of those stuffy, upper crust old money type beach towns. What goes better with fresh lobster than one of his surgical masks?

Scores of fans paid dearly for a rare much-anticipated Michael Jackson comeback show at the World Music Awards in London last week, but were treated instead to Jackson singing poorly to a few lines of “We are the World.” R&B artist Chris Browne did a pretty decent version of Thriller after Jackson is said to have suffered crippling stage fright. Judging from Jackson’s lousy singing voice, it’s likely he was incapable of performing even if he had worked up the nerve.

Dissapointed ticket holders are demanding their money back after paying nearly $200 for tickets. (I listed the ticket price as $400 in an earlier article, and must have been mistaken.) Organizers deny that there was a problem with Jackson’s aborted performance, and say that no one has contacted them for a refund. They claim that time constraints are to blame for Jackson’s half-assed performance:

Furious Michael Jackson fans are seeking refunds on their tickets for the World Music Awards after the star failed to perform his hit ‘Thriller’ at the event.

Entry to the show at London’s Earls Court on Wednesday (November 15) cost as much as £100, and fans are now saying they were misled by promises that the star would play one of his most famous songs. It would have been his first UK live performance in nine years.

In the end, he joined a choir onstage to sing just a couple of lines of the 1985 USA For Africa charity hit ‘We Are The World’, which he co-wrote.

Fan Katherine Kidd told the BBC: “I’m furious. I feel like I’ve been ripped off.”

“People were expecting something significant but he didn’t perform at all,” said Abdo Binmadhi, “When the lights went on I saw people’s faces and they were like: ‘Is that it?’

“I should have just stayed at home and watched it on TV… We should definitely get a refund.”

However, the organisers of the World Music Awards said that they had “not been contacted by any of the fans or had one complaint” regarding the event.

They added that Jackson’s performance had been cut short because the ceremony over-ran, breaking a noise curfew at the venue.

Jackson wasn’t the only one who bombed at the WMAs. We also reported that Lindsay Lohan was booed on stage and cut short her hosting duty about half way through after suffering a fall down some stairs backstage.

Commentor Johnnie Walker was at the WMAs and explained that Lindsay was playing to the cameras and ignoring the audience, and that she deserved the boos she received after fumbling a joke and then trying it over again without an apology or explanation to the crowd:

OK I was there, she didn’t care about the public being there she was just after the cameras, Her first line was something about WMA being based on actual records sales and then some stupid joke about people over 34 nobody understood, thing is, she messed up her lines and the joke (which was supposed to be spontaneous) so she stopped and without addressing the public (like ups sorry I messed up, etc) or anything, started again and made the exact “spontaneous” joke at which point the public booed, it was pretty loud, she wasn’t booed afterwards (at least not as loudly as said time).

It seems like WMA ticket holders have a few reasons to ask for their money back, although the other performances from artists like Beyonce and Nelly Furtado must have been entertaining.

Micheal Jackson’s highly anticipated public performance at the World Music awards in London last night was a letdown and a flop.

Jackson was said to be performing the complete version of “Thriller,” but an American singer, Chris Brown, ended up doing a halfway decent rendition. Jacko couldn’t have done it better, judging from the lousy few lines of “We are the World” he fudged while the full song was playing in the background, not quite drowning him out.

The Daily Mail has a highlight video accessible from their website. At around 2:50 Jackson comes on stage to accept the millenium award. He seems a little choked up but gracious and well spoken, and said it was his dream come true that Thriller became the best selling album of all time.

His performance of a snippet of the “We are the World” chorus is at 4:50. He comes on stage in front of a bunch of children and sings badly over the song for just a few lines. His mike then cuts out, he tries to sing but no sound is heard, and he seems confused.

People who shelled out nearly $400 for tickets were dissapointed, and experts say the king of pop has little chance of a comeback now. There’s also reports that he was booed off stage, but if that’s true I couldn’t tell from the video.

Michael Jackson is due to perform publically for the first time in ten years. He will be performing the graveyard scene from the “Thriller” video at the World Music Awards tonight, where he is also accepting the “Diamond” award for artists who have sold over 100 million records. It is the 25th anniversary of Thriller, which is the top selling album of all time with 40 million copies sold since it came out in 1981.

Jackson was photographed recently with disturbingly discolored Howard Hughs-like long nails. I’m not a doctor, but dark nails like that are definitely not normal. I tried to figure out what conditions that might indicate, and it seems like it could be a side effect of medication, particularly the cancer drug Cytoxan. Discolored nails can also be a symptom of cancer or some kind of poisoning, but from what I understand they usually show lines of discoloration or one oddly-colored nail, not consistently dark nail beds on each finger. (It could also be some sort of fungal or bacterial infection, which is probably most likely but doesn’t make for as interesting a story.)

Cytoxan is prescribed for cancer treatment and sometimes for kidney problems in children. Michael Jackson was sick several days during his trial in early 2005. He claimed to have suffered a bad spider bite at one point, and also had a “flu-like” illness that required hospitalization that many people assumed was stress from the trial. (Jackson was ultimately aquitted on all charges, and the latest news is that his accuser’s mother had defrauded the US government for more than $8,000 in welfare.)

Why are Michael Jackson’s nails so dark? Is he on Cytoxan for cancer, does he have nail fungus, or could he suffer from some strange medical condition that isn’t easily Googled? Are there any doctors out there than can provide some insight into my speculation of Jackson’s health? He definitely doesn’t look healthy and has some sort of scratch on his nose. His extreme plastic surgery and ghostly-white skin, which he claims is due to Vitiligo but is widely thought to be elective skin whitening, have made him look deathly ill for years.

It’s rather amazing that he’s performing again, though, and it seems kind of fitting that he’ll be doing “Thriller.”

Thanks to WWTDD for the header picture.

Update: commentor Nadine notes that she took Cytoxan for breast cancer and that her nails turned purple and then black, not the copper color as seen here. Other commentors mention that his nails have been this color for some time, and that he has tried to cover it up in the past.

Janet Charlton says that Jackson’s nails are that funky color due to the Vitiligo treatment he receives:

With the spotlight on Michael Jackson and his catastrophically reviewed performance on the World Music Awards, closeup photos of his hands are circulating. Observers have exclaimed that his peculiar looking dark, rough fingernails nails indicate that he’s desperately in need of a good manicure. Actually those brown nails are a result of Michael’s vitiligo. Back when Jackson started getting white skin discolorations he had a choice of two treatments. He could use medication to darken the white areas on his skin or use medication to bleach and lighten his brown skin. Usually patients choose to change the color of their spots, but Michael wanted to lighten all his skin to match the white areas. The skin under his nails is discolored, which is a side effect of the process. Only recently did he start showing his hands - he usually keeps them out of sight so he doesn’t SCARE children.

Photographs of what reporters claim was Michael Jackson wearing high heels, skinny jeans and a floppy woman’s sun hat were published yesterday. He was out with his 8 year-old daughter, Paris, who was dressed almost identically.

Is Michael Jackson a closet transvestite that just couldn’t help stepping out in woman’s clothing?

According to Australia’s Daily Telegraph, this wasn’t the first time Jacko has been busted in women’s clothing:

Now Jackson’s PR person is denying that it was even him, saying that he wasn’t in St. Tropez at the time.

Jackson’s custody battle with his ex baby-maker, Debbie Rove, has ended in a large cash payout, prompting people to say she was in it for the money all along.