The Love Guru stinks on a level previously untouched by anything other than I Know Who Killed Me. Everyone is slamming the movie – in fact it’s received some of the harshest, most vivid criticism I’ve read in years. The film came in fifth on its opening weekend at the box office – and even that was surprising. The film was released right after a scathing Entertainment Weekly story about what a jerk Mike Myers is.

On top of that, the film had already been harshly criticized and boycotted by Hindus. Now Catholics are jumping on the bandwagon, calling the film morally offensive. I can’t help but agree that it’s offensive – if for no other reason than it apparently sucks worse than anything. Ever.

A leading Catholic group has come to the aid of America’s Hindus who are boycotting Mike Myers’ new film The Love Guru - because religious officials have found the film to be “morally offensive.” The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (Usccb) has slapped the comedy with its highest classification.

Hindu leader Rajan Zed, who has been leading the outcry about the new film, is thrilled that other religious officials are taking his concerns seriously - branding the new ‘O’ rating the Catholics have given the movie a “remarkable interfaith gesture”.

Rajan Zed says, “We are thankful to the Conference of Catholic Bishops for having a feel for the pain of the Hindu and spiritual community by categorizing The Love Guru as morally offensive.” Zed called for a full Hindu boycott of the film because it allegedly uses Hindu concepts and Hindu terms frivolously. He asked other religious groups to lend their support.

He adds, “Today it is Hinduism, tomorrow Hollywood might attempt to denigrate another religion.” Prominent Jewish Rabbi, Elizabeth W. Beyer of Nevada, has already called for a boycott of The Love Guru because the film “lampoons Hinduism, mocks Ashram life and Hindu philosophy.”

[From WENN via IMDB]

Part of the Catholic’s issue with the film is that it’s “vulgar and tasteless” (but to be fair, a lot of things are) and that it “wallows in endless penis jokes and fairly yucky potty humor.” I didn’t know bishops were supposed to say “yucky.” But if it’s so bad that you’re resorting to speaking like a three-year-old, that really says something for just how crappy this film really is.

After reading about what a jerk Mike Myers is, I’m really happy that his movie is doing so poorly. Egos like his are beyond ridiculous. That whole thing about him making an intern at Conan O’Brien’s show go out and get him raspberry seltzer – and then making the guy go out again because it wasn’t the brand Myers likes – really made me wish plagues and boils on him. Or at least a lack of financial success. So one of my dreams is coming true.

Oooo, it seems Mike Myers happy-go-lucky reputation has caught up to his ego. “The Love Guru” is opening in theaters and is reportedly painful to watch. Critics are unapologetically ripping the movie apart with bad reviews. Despite a decent level of star power present in the film, you can’t buy class. To add insult to injury the notoriously funny Myers is said to be a demanding diva. After making an appearance on Conan O’Brien’s show the workers backstage felt the wrath of his “crazy” requests.

The comic made an appearance on NBC’s “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” Wednesday to promote ‘‘The Love Guru,’ but he drove backstage staffers bonkers while he waited to go on. ‘He sent a team of interns on a wild goose chase for Silk nondairy creamer, Twizzlers and raspberry seltzer,’ said our witness. ‘Then he sent one of the interns back out to get him a new drink when he realized his seltzer was not the brand he requested.’”

[New York Post]

The casting for the film was even all about Mike and his demands. In order to score a role in the film you had to either be a good friend or have a friend that is tight with Myers. Jessica Alba and Ben Kingsley were both cast thanks to a “mutual friend.” Justin Timberlake and Verne Troyer had worked with the “Austin Powers’ creator before. Del Close was a former teacher (who was mentioned in the interview done with Sports Illustrated for some unknown reason being that passed away 1999. Thanks guys!). He also sent out the script to some Hollywood BFF’s to score some more star power.

Myers: “It was the same with Austin Powers. I sent a script out to Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, John Travolta and Gwyneth Paltrow and they all said yes and all arrived on the same day. It was an embarrassment of riches.”

[Sports Illustrated]

Hmmmm. Other than Danny DeVito and Spielberg, the set could have collapsed and I wouldn’t miss any of them. Although there would probably be a Scientology uprising at the loss of their commander and his lieutenant. Who would Xenu phone home to?

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Mike Myers at the premiere of ‘The Love Guru’ held at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles on June 11th. I was really confused about what he was doing with Mariska Hargitay. Apparently there’s some joke in the movie about her name – I think it’s that it’s magical or something. But there’s no way in hell I’d subject myself to watching it in order to find out. Images thanks to WENN.

Critics say that “The Love Guru,” Mike Myers’ asinine riff on new age spiritualism, is so bad and so soul-sucking that it’s hard to even describe how awful a movie-going experience it is. Reviewers at The NY Times, Slate, and other outlets say they’re at a loss to explain how truly awful it is and how uncomfortable, angry and depressed they were after sitting through it. While Austin Powers was arguably funny, Myers’ first film in 5 years just falls flat, digs a hole, craps in it, and expects you to think it’s funny.

Slate: “the most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room”

There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they’re good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone. Watching The Love Guru (Paramount Pictures) is a spiritual experience of a sort, but not the sort that its creator and star, Mike Myers, intended. This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room. In the course of those long minutes, Myers leads you on a journey deep inside himself, to the source from whence his comedy springs—and it’s about as much fun as a tour of someone’s large intestine.

[From Slate]

NY Times: it will “make you wonder if you will ever laugh again”

Which might sum up “The Love Guru” in its entirety but only at the risk of grievously understating the movie’s awfulness. A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

[From The NY Times]

Video Hound: “the kind of cultural and comedic offense that audiences should demand retribution after seeing.”

Someone needs to be punished. The Love Guru isn’t just your average bad movie. Smoothly limbo-ing below already low expectations, this “alleged” comedy is the kind of cultural and comedic offense that audiences should demand retribution after seeing. And just giving them back their money won’t do. Mike Myers and Jessica Alba are the main cinematic war criminals in question here, but they’ll probably get away with this disaster and move on unscathed to commit more comedic terrorism. Justin Timberlake is bulletproof, but poor Romany Malco and Meagan Good should be worried. Of course, they’re not to blame. Every single flaw of The Love Guru falls at the feet of the once-talented, but clearly now completely delusional, Mike Myers. This week’s Entertainment Weekly contains a shockingly harsh article about Myers that inspired me to think that he must have been a total prick when the mag interviewed him back in April. Why else would they run such a negative piece about a movie the week of its release? Now I know. They saw the movie and, like me, they’re angry.

[From Video Hound]

Chicago Sun Times, Roger Ebert: “a dreary experience”

Myers has made some funny movies, but this film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents. Every reference to a human sex organ or process of defecation is not automatically funny simply because it is naughty, but Myers seems to labor under that delusion. He acts as if he’s getting away with something, but in fact all he’s getting away with is selling tickets to a dreary experience.

[From Chicago Sun Times]

There’s one character who is getting praise - critics say Justin Timberlake’s cameo as a French Canadian hockey player is pretty funny, but in no way worth sitting through even ten minutes more of the movie.

The Love Guru is up against Get Smart for opening weekend winner at the box office. Love Guru currently has a 15% aggregate critic’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes while Get Smart, with Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway, has a more respectable 52%. Neither is a great film, but one is clearly more awful.

Stills below are from The Love Guru thanks to All Movie Photo. Thanks to The Huffington Post for the idea for this article.

Here are the trailers for The Love Guru and Get Smart

Love Guru

Get Smart

When you see comic Mike Myers hamming it up on screen as Wayne Campbell or Austin Powers, he seems like a fun, goofy guy, doesn’t he? Like, someone really down to earth whom you could hang with? Well, if you believe Entertainment Weekly’s latest story, he couldn’t be anything further. EW interviewed some of Myers’ former co-workers who paint a much darker picture of the actor, saying he is difficult, moody and demanding.

Still, the fact is, within Hollywood, not everyone is cheering for Myers to succeed. Since early in his career the actor has been tagged with a reputation for being difficult to work with: moody, controlling, and arrogant. That description could, of course, fit many actors and filmmakers, but the degree of enmity directed toward Myers by some who’ve worked with him — even years after the fact — is rare. Says one executive who has had a rocky relationship with Myers: ”I honestly root against him.”

Penelope Spheeris, who directed Myers in his first film, the 1992 smash Wayne’s World, says she has shared war stories with others who’ve worked with the actor. ”Maybe he could open, like, a children’s hospital to clean up his rep,” she jokes darkly. ”He’s got to do something pretty quick.”

The article goes on to say that during the making of the two hit “Wayne’s World” films, Mike was threatened by co-star and friend Dana Carvey. At the time, Dana’s career was bigger than Myers’ thanks to his ubiquitous “Church Lady” character, and the two clashed on set due to Mike’s insecurities. As for director Spheeris, who only directed the first film of that series, she tells a story of a demanding diva who pitched a fit when he didn’t get the snacks he wanted.

According to several accounts, including a Vanity Fair article in 2000, Myers felt threatened by his more famous SNL costar, Dana Carvey, who played Wayne’s nerdy sidekick, Garth. ”Mike didn’t want Dana in the movie because he felt insecure that someone who had his own creative ideas would get in the way,” says one source involved in the production. Carvey, via his publicist, calls this notion ”ridiculous.” Michaels, who produced the film, says it’s ”overstated,” but adds, ”That isn’t to say they’re not both comedians and that occasionally there’s not some disagreement over who should be speaking what.”

Spheeris found herself struggling to prop up Myers’ often dark moods. One day, infuriated that there was no margarine for his bagel, only butter, Myers — who, according to several sources, said he suffered from hypoglycemia — stormed off the set. (Myers’ rep denies he is hypoglycemic.) ”He was emotionally needy and got more difficult as the shoot went along,” Spheeris says. ”You should have heard him bitching when I was trying to do that ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ scene: ‘I can’t move my neck like that! Why do we have to do this so many times? No one is going to laugh at that!”’ To manage Myers’ moods, Spheeris put her daughter in charge of making sure he had whatever snack he needed at any given moment: ”To this day, I have this image of her sitting on this little cooler, looking at me, like, ‘Mom, I f—ing hate you.”’

If Wayne’s World was a difficult experience, Myers’ next film, 1993’s So I Married an Axe Murderer, was a torturous one. From the outset, Myers clashed with director Thomas Schlamme, at times holing up in his trailer and refusing to work. ”I think Mike’s a visionary, but his way of getting what he wants is to emote and threaten and express anger,” says the film’s producer, Rob Fried. ”It’s not healthy for personal relations.”

[From Entertainment Weekly]

This is a bombshell- if not to Hollywood insiders, than definitely for the movie-going public. I wasn’t surprised to find out that guys like Mel Gibson and Isaiah Washington were arrogant asswipes, but Linda Richman from Coffee Talk? Say it ain’t so!

Anyway, Myers’ new comedy, The Love Guru, opens this weekend. Let’s see if those rooting for the movie to flop get their wish.

Mike Myers is shown at the premiere of The Love Guru on 6/11/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

The Daily Mail had these humorous photos of Justin Timberlake in the upcoming comedy The Love Guru, which stars Mike Myers and also features Jessica Alba and Romany Malco. Myers plays a goofy Indian spiritual guru while Timberlake is an athlete who tries too hard to be sexy. Here’s the plot synopsis:

Pitka (Meyers) an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge: To settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player (Malco) whose wife left him for a rival athlete (Timberlake).

[From IMDB]

There are rumors that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are on the rocks because they don’t have time to see each other with their busy careers. For now it sounds like speculation as the story I read about it wasn’t well sourced. Timberlake was also recently spotted out having lunch with Kate Hudson, but it’s possible they’re just friends.

Here’s the trailer for The Love Guru. It was co-written by Mike Myers and directed by Marco Schnabel. It looks a lot like Austin Powers, which was also written by Myers and directed by Schnabel. I never thought those films were particularly funny, but a lot of people love Austin Powers, and this will probably be a hit.

The Love Guru is out in the US on June 20.