Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are currently loved-up in New York. And I do mean “loved up” literally, which I will get to in a moment. First, go here to see the (super-posed) photos of Ashton and Mila, sitting on a rock and making out in full view of a paparazzo. And then holding hands as they walk down the street, then they stop and make out on the sidewalk, then Mila nuzzles Ashton’s chest… all while Ashton has his phone out, texting or tweeting or something. God knows. That’s one of the biggest problems I have with this couple – it’s obviously bad enough that Mila Kunis is dating a dude who is flat-out beneath her. But it’s so much worse because Ashton acts like he doesn’t even recognize that SHE is the one who is dating down. He’s all, “Yeah, Mila’s on my jock. Whatever.” So gross. Anyway, about the love. Hold on to your breakfast burritos, because this will make your stomach churn:

Autumn may have arrived in NYC, but things are still heating up for Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher.

On Monday, the couple of about six months had a romantic lunch date at Bistro Chat Noir after a hang out in Central Park. As Kutcher, 34, paid for the bill, he said “I love you” to his former That 70s Show costar, 29, an observer tells Us Weekly.

Indeed, after playing coy about their relationship for months, Kutcher (who split from wife Demi Moore in November 2011) and Kunis (she and longtime love Macaulay Culkin broke up in late 2010) have been on a veritable PDA parade lately.

Before their Bistro Chat Noir lunch, they were photographed holdings hands — and then taking a breather on a boulder in Central Park, where they were snapped kissing passionately.

“Ashton and Mila are totally together and loving it,” a source close to the couple tells Us. “He always had a thing for her and he finally made it happen . . . It is real infatuation right now.”

[From Us Weekly]

Gross. GROSS. Ugh. I feel like Mila suffers from really low standards. Maybe she’s lived in LA too long, maybe she’s just always has horrible taste in men, but I feel like a woman of Mila’s age and experience (life experience) and intelligence should hold out for something more than “He pays for lunch and he loves to kiss me in between texts.”

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Here are some new photos of Mila Kunis leaving a nail salon yesterday in LA. Ugh, I can’t believe belly shirts are coming back. Why is everything so mid-90s nowadays? Between Miley Cyrus’s grunge aesthetic and Mila’s belly shirt, I feel like I should be watching the first season of Friends right now, in between listening to Pearl Jam. As for Mila’s figure – she’s been working out a lot lately (she keeps getting pap’d outside of her gym), so I guess she successfully shed those ten pounds that were so noticeable several months ago. I’m not being facetious either – Mila is such a petite girl that when she gained a few pounds, practically every blog took note of it. Her face looked kind of puffy for a while too, making me think that perhaps her body was rejecting The Kutcher, but the puff seems to have gone down (perhaps the early Kutcher injections acted as an inoculation). Also: I would love to have her flat tummy. GAH. WHY ARE YOU WASTING IT ON KUTCHER?!

Speaking of… as Celebitchy covered last week, Mila and Ashton Kutcher were photographed together at an LA Dodgers game… with HER parents. Did CB mention that? Gross. I can’t even imagine what that was like… “Mom, I’d like you to meet my new boyfriend… Ashton Kutcher.” My mom would not be impressed at all. Anyway, Us Weekly has some new details on the outing:

Mila Kunis wanted her parents, Mark and Elvira, to bond with old friend turned new beau Ashton Kutcher, and she thought a ball game would be just the trick. She took them to an LA Dodgers home game against the San Francisco Giants, where she scored them seat right behind the dugout.

“They were loving Dodger Dogs and pretzels,” a ballpark staffer says of the foursome, who sang “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” together.

The couple “kissed several times and Mila would cover their faces with his cap,” says a witness. “It was really cute!” After years of staying in the just-friends zone, “things are going really well… they’re seriously obsessed with each other.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

“Seriously obsessed with each other”? Gross. WTF, Mila Kunis? Does she even realize that she could do so, SO much better? She seems to have a real problem with dating kind of douchey dudes. Not that Mac was douchey… but Mac had issues, right? And then Justin Timberlake – I mean, I know some of you don’t believe that Mila and JT hooked up on the downlow, but LOOK WHO SHE’S WITH NOW. If she’ll let Ashton Kutcher become her official, she’ll totally fool around with JT quietly.

Mila’s friend is super-fancy, isn’t he? His shorts are… amazing.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Yesterday we saw photos of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis taking in a Dodgers game from some sweet seats. Mila looked annoyed to be there in the photos I’ve seen, although of course she knew she would be photographed. I wonder if that was a calculated move so as not to look too thrilled with her new lovah, or maybe she just finds baseball boring. She went public with Ashton, so it must be serious on some level. She could have begged off going.

The Enquirer has a new story this week that I’m not entirely sure is accurate, namely because I believe the rumors that Ashton and Demi were never officially married. I think they’re hoping that that the public will ignore the fact that neither of them has filed for divorce, because to do so might expose the news that they were only married under their Kabbalah cult and never in the eyes of the law. I could be wrong, though. Here’s that story, from Mike Walker’s column:

“Ashton always wanted Demi to take the lead in filing for divorce, and in her own good time,” said a source. “He didn’t press her too hard because she was going through heavy emotional distress and he didn’t want to pile it on her.

“But now he’s calling Demi and begging her to file, driven by Mila’s agony over being in a romance with a still-married man.”

While Demi remains civil toward Ashton, she’s unmoved by his pleas.

“It stings her that he’s fallen in love with a girl much younger than she is,” said the source. “She’s not in the mood to make things easier for him.”

[From The National Enquirer, Mike Walker's column]

Again, if these two weren’t really married, and we’ve heard rumors about this for some time, no one would need to file for divorce, which I do think the public will overlook. The gossip-press and the gossip-obsessed among us will know if no divorce happens and it might get some coverage, but it won’t go wide like a big scandal or a wedding would. Now, this could get complicated if Ashton and Mila got engaged for instance. If that happened, I bet some of the mainstream outlets will start bringing it up, even if it’s a couple of years from now. Like “why aren’t Ashton and Demi divorced yet?” If they are/were really married, I do believe Walker’s account that Demi is dragging her feet. We’ve heard for months that she’s hoping for a reunion, and we know she’s not easily letting go even though she supposedly has a “new boyfriend,” the announcement of which coincided with news of Ashton and Mila’s romance.

In related Demi news, Star is claiming she’s had another boob job. They use the photos of her super skinny compared to how healthy she’s looking now. Those are the two photos below. They say she had some kind of lift, which is possible. It could also just be simple weight gain, which she sorely needed.

Demi in July, with Martin Henderson.

Demi in October, 2011

Header photo credit: LA Dodgers/Jill Weisleder. Photo beneath that of Mila and Ashton via Lainey Gossip. Other photos credit: Life & Style and WENN.com

Since everyone seemed to want to talk about Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, here’s another story which we can add to the pile of evidence of their LOVE. And I do believe that Mila and Ashton are truly “dating”. This might have been “hooking up” at the start, but at this point, it’s a relationship. They go on mini-breaks to wine country. They go to each other’s industry events. They make out with each other when they think no one is looking. And now this – Page Six claims Ashton has “whisked Mila away” for a romantic holiday in Bali. UGH!

Ashton Kutcher has whisked Mila Kunis on a romantic vacation to Bali, Page Six can reveal. The actor, still going through a divorce with Demi Moore, has taken Kunis to a five-star resort on Bali’s southern peninsula. Suites include wooden four-poster beds, a sunken indoor bathtub and ultra-private pools.

Sources tell us the pair, who met 14 years ago while starring on “That ’70s Show” together, are now making no secret of their romance despite earlier attempts to stay out of the public eye.

One source said, “Ashton was Mila’s first kiss while on ‘That ’70s Show,’ so they’ve always had a special bond. They started dating in the spring, and things have recently become more serious.”

Meanwhile, on Monday night Moore sneaked into the Four Seasons for the “Bourne Legacy” party. The 49-year-old actress is dating New Zealand actor Martin Henderson, who is 12 year her junior. Spies said a happy-looking Moore chatted at the “Bourne” bash with the movie’s star Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig.

[From Page Six]

It sounds lovely. I would love a Bali vacation. But you couldn’t pay me to go on vacation with Ashton Kutcher. I bet he’s the type of dude who likes to mock people’s accents. He just seems like the type, right?

As for Mila… well, I continue to be disappointed in her. A year ago, she was one of my favorites of all the younger actresses. But after the back-and-forth stuff with Justin Timberlake (I still believe they were hooking up) and now with Ashton… the girl just doesn’t have a Douche Radar. Or maybe she does have a Douche Radar and she just gets hot for douches. It’s so weird that she maintained such a long relationship with Macaulay Culkin for all of those years, and then as soon as they were over, Mila just goes from d-bag to d-bag.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here are some new-ish photos of Mila Kunis over the weekend (leaving a spin class) and photos from last week of Mila and Ashton Kutcher out together in LA. People are treating these Mila-and-Ashton photos like “OMG, proof that they ARE together!!!” Um, really? There was photo evidence that they were together months ago. And we’ve had photos of them out to lunch together, making out, etc over the past two months too. So why are these photos a big deal? I’m not sure. For one, Mila was Ashton’s date at the wrap party for Jobs, the Steve Jobs bio-pic that Ashton just completed. I guess it’s a big deal because it’s an industry party, and because Ashton is usually so douchey, he wouldn’t let just some random hookup come to his wrap party. Thus, Mila and Ashton are NOT just hooking up, it’s LOVE. So, enough with the whole “we’re just friends” nonsense, hopefully. They’ve been hooking up for a while now, and it’s not a shamef—k situation for either of them (although in Mila’s case, I think she should be ashamed).

Other news… some of British and American tabloids have been claiming that Mila and Ashton are pretty much living together already, although I’m not sure about that. I’m guessing they’re still in the “spending the night at each other’s houses more often than not” phase. Did Ashton give Mila space in his closet? Probably not. But a source says, “They’re basically living together. Like any new couple in love, they’re pretty much joined at the hip. They’ve been sneaking around for months but there’s only so long you can keep it quiet.”

There’s also a report that Ashton shelled out $5000 for a diamond-encrusted phone case for Mila. No word on whether the phone case was a gift for something particular, or if it was just a “you’re my official lady” gift. Allegedly, the case “features pink crystals and a heart, inside which Mila’s initials are spelled out in red diamonds.” A source claims, “He spent five thousand bucks on Mila’s case. Needless to say, she loved it.” Needless to say? I can think of much cooler things to spend $5000 on.

Kelso and Jackie… Kelso and Jackie… Kelso and Jackie. Was it always meant to be? Ugh. At least he opens the car door for her? I’m reaching, I know.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

We’ve heard that Demi Moore, 49, is alternately holding out hope for a reunion with her estranged husband, Ashton Kutcher, and feuding with her daughters for remaining in contact with him. We’ve also heard that the two were recently attending weekly Kabbalah marriage counseling sessions together, although those were tabloid reports, and that they allegedly had makeup sex as recently as last month. That may have been wishful thinking on Demi’s part, or Ashton may have been conflicted about the split and leading her on. Either way, we know that Ashton, 34, is getting somewhat serious in his new relationship with Mila Kunis, 28. We just saw photos of Ashton and Mila making out at the wrap party for Ashton’s film about Steve Jobs. This is said to have been devastating to Demi, who apparently is “beyond heartbroken” that Ashton is with Mila.

Demi Moore is suffering incredible heartache a source close to the actress exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

“Demi is devastated that Ashton has moved on so quickly and is dating Mila,” the friend says. “She is beyond heartbroken.

“Even though Ashton cheated on her all the time, it was with random girls, it wasn’t a relationship like it is with Mila and that is what is killing Demi now.

“Seeing photos of him kissing another woman is too much for her to handle, it’s like having her nose rubbed in it time and time again. She kind of knew it was definitely over between them but I think she was still holding out a little hope for a reconciliation — now he’s actually dating someone else she knows that’s not going to happen.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Demi and Ashton have run into each other since she has returned from rehab, but he’s now obviously moved on with a new romance.

“Each time Demi hears about Ashton and Mila it breaks her heart. She really loved him despite the flaws in their marriage and to see him dating someone new, who is so much younger than she is, is like a knife in her heart,” the source says.

Demi is also estranged from her three daughters, and one reason is because the girls refuse to stop talking to Ashton.

“The girls have all stayed friends with Ashton, and that is infuriating Demi,” a source close to the girls previously told RadarOnline.com about the situation.

While Demi has returned to work, filming in New York City, the turmoil in her personal life is worrying her friends.

“Demi is in a fragile state right now and with the fights with her daughters and hearing how sad she is about Ashton and Mila everyone is afraid of how she’s handling all the stress,” her friend says.

[From Radar Online]

I don’t get the big difference between casually cheating with randoms and having a full blown romance on the side. It’s all cheating, but I get the sense that Demi forgave a lot in an attempt to hold on to her marriage. In this case Ashton and Demi broke up months ago. She needs to understand that he’s moved on and that she needs to do the same. I get that it must hurt to see her ex sucking face with his new girlfriend, but that’s the price of fame. Maybe she’s still taking copious amounts of ADHD drugs and Red Bull and isn’t firmly planted in reality. Her own daughters aren’t even talking to her. I hope she gets the help she needs to come to terms with her life. A lot of people would find it pretty sweet.

These are photos of Mila and Ashton out to see Batman in LA on Sunday. They tried not to be photographed together. Credit: FameFlynet. Demi is shown on 10-18-11. Credit: JGM/Pacific Coast News

File photo of Demi and Ashton

All I can say about this story, and I’ll say it at the beginning, is that I hope it’s not true. It sounds way too detailed, down to specific dates and places, to be made up, but who knows? The last we heard about Demi Moore, she was being shunned by her daughters after a disastrous family get together at her youngest daughter, Tallulah’s, high school graduation. Demi’s three daughters are refusing to return her calls and messages, according to both Radar and US Weekly, and Demi is said to be “devastated” and “beside herself.”

There’s one person in Demi’s life that’s providing some support, and probably false hope, if this report is true. Her ex/estranged “husband” Ashton Kutcher is said to be attending weekly Kabbalah marriage counseling sessions with Demi, and to have even spent the night with her last month. We’ve heard that Ashton is dating Mila Kunis, but that he’s trying to keep it casual. (And Mila doesn’t want the news to get out that she’s with the douche.) Mila allegedly knows that Demi and Ashton are talking and has told Ashton to limit contact with Demi, but she doesn’t know that they’re still sleeping together. This whole thing just sounds like a mess. Here’s more:

In a dramatic turn of events, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are undergoing secret counseling in a last-ditch effort to save their badly battered marriage…

Demi and Ashton, who never filed for divorce, are attending regular therapy sessions and have resumed a romantic relationship, say sources.

Incredibly, Ashton is trying to heal his marital wounds while at the same time enjoying a “friends with benefits” fling with stunning actress Mila Kunis, the sources add.

“Ashton and Demi are meeting on an almost weekly basis for counseling,” revealed an insider. “They’re bonding and are talking on the phone constantly.”

The two are attending Kabbalah-based therapy sessions, helped by two of the mystical Jewish sect’s biggest proponents, writer Danny Spektor and Rabbi Yahuda Berg, who officiated at the couple’s 2005 wedding.

It’s going so well that on June 3, Demi, 49, and Ashton, 34, shared a night of passion at Spektor’s Los Angeles-area home, confided the insider…

“Ashton and Mila have been close friends for years, and she’s eager for commitment,” said the insider. “Meanwhile, she doesn’t even know that Demi and Ashton are going through counseling and spending nights together…

“While Ashton is commited to putting his marriage to Demi back on track, he’s trying to decide what to do about Mila,” said the insider. “He wants to stay friends but he has to figure out how to let her down easy.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 23, 2012]

Here’s the thing, I believe that Ashton is capable of this. I think he had a lot of guilt over leaving Demi and that he doesn’t mind how she worships and clings, as long as he has his freedom too. That’s pretty much how he was treating her the last few years they were together while he was screwing around on the side. I also think he’s deep into Kabbalah and sees his cheating as some personal failure he needs to overcome. Remember how he went on a “spiritual” camping retreat with Demi right around the time that we heard they were breaking up?

I buy that Demi would get back with Ashton in a heartbeat, since she seems like a needy addict who hasn’t moved on from that relationship. But I don’t buy that Ashton is serious about reuniting. I think he’s just playing both sides for now. This story sounds like spin from Demi’s camp. “He wants to let Mila down easy,” etc.

There’s another story in Star this week that gives the other side – Demi is calling Ashton constantly and Mila has made him limit contact with her.

“Mila’s fed up with Demi’s endless phone calls,” an insider tells Star. “At first she was understanding – she knew they had to discuss the divorce and practical things like that – but it’s been getting worse. She’s wondering if Demi is doing it on purpose.”

Not only will Demi, 49, dial incessantly until her ex answers, but her calls also seem to come at the most inopportune times…

It’s gotten so bad that Mila has laid down the law with her new beau: One call from Demi per night, then the phone gets turned off…

“He is so done with Demi’s depression and drama,” the source says. “Mila is a breath of fresh air.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, July 23, 2012]

As for whether Demi and Ashton need to figure out their “divorce,” it’s telling that no one has filed papers yet. We’ve heard that their marriage was never legal, and was only a “spiritual” one within Kabbalah, which would explain it.

This side of the story sounds more likely, but let’s put this all into perspective. These two women are fighting over Ashton f’ing Kutcher! I get Demi still being hung up on him, but what the hell is Mila’s problem? She could do so much better.

These are file photos of Demi and Ashton. Demi is shown alone in October, 2011. Ashton and Mila are shown out in West Hollywood on 6-30-12. He’s also shown taking a hike with friends on 6-24-12. Credit: FameFlynet and Pacific Coast News

A few days ago, I previewed Mila Kunis’s Elle UK cover, and here is the full Elle pictorial. I didn’t realize that they were going for a “Valley of the Dolls” theme. Right? It’s very 1960s-Twiggy-Valley of the Dolls. It kind of works, but it also feels kind of tired, to me at least. Kristen Stewart had this exact kind of styling for her W Magazine pictorial last year, and I kind of liked hers better. Anyway, what’s Mila talking about in the Elle interview? Nothing much. She still isn’t admitting that Ashton Kutcher is her boyfriend. I think it’s less about her being “ashamed” and more about her having horrible taste in men and a weird sense of her own victimhood. I like Mila a lot, but she actually starting to bug me a little. Some highlights from the Elle piece:

Mila on dating: ‘Is a guy going to come up to me and ask if he can take me out on a date? Where can I go and have this date? I can’t go anywhere! My house, his house…So what do you do? I’m trying to be like a normal girl and a single girl… but the concept of being single and in my position is just not workable. I couldn’t even go on a date if I wanted to!’

She doesn’t regret dating Macaulay Culkin: ‘Being settled so young really helped. You know, I wouldn’t take back anything in my life, not one thing. I think it all shaped me to be who I am today. There are things that people know about, and there are things that the press doesn’t know about, and everything that did occur 100 per cent shaped who I am. My ex-boyfriend, my family, my friends, everybody.’

Women in comedy are not always respected by men: ‘You have to poke fun at yourself in real life, so why not do it on screen while you’re at it? I’ll always be the first to laugh at myself. I know there is a small, weird group of people who don’t like women being crude, but they really do need to get over that. Even after a film like Bridesmaids, which I loved, a lot of men still don’t see women as funny. Now that’s f***ed up.’

[From The Mail]

I like the part about no regrets, and I liked the part about women in comedy. What I don’t care for is the part about how she’s a “single girl” who simply can’t date like a normal person. I understand the point that she’s trying to make – she can’t pick up a guy at the gym (I guess? Although I think she probably could), she can’t date online. But I don’t get how “I’m a celebrity, I have to approach dating in a different way than most girls” becomes “So I’ve started shamef—king Ashton Kutcher.” HOW??

Photos courtesy of The Mail & The Fashion Spot.

First thing – let’s get to these weird photos. Continuing their “seriously, y’all, we’re just friends except it looks like we’re seriously dating” thing, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher were spotted out together, having lunch with friends at the Soho House in West Hollywood. There really aren’t that many good shots of them, but you get the gist of it. They were in the same car. They sat together. Ashton looked like he was sniffing Mila’s hair at one point. That’s about it.

Now, in addition to that, Mila appears on the covers of Elle UK and Glamour Magazine’s August issues. The Glamour photo shoot is particularly bad – not that Mila looks bad in the photos, but the style and set pieces seem weird. As for the Elle UK cover – Mila’s face looks gorgeous. The dress looks like the losing piece on a Project Runway challenge. Go ahead and yell!! You know I’m right. Glamour put some of Mila’s interview online (go here to read it), and here are some highlights:

Mila on dating sites: “One of my really good friends met her fiance on an OkCupid-style website. OkCupid’s really popular–all my girlfriends have joined. I love those sites. I go on and I pick the guys for my friends. I think it’s great… It’s online shopping! We all get together with our laptops and have a glass of wine. Then we message the guy.”

Mila wishes she could date online: “If I didn’t do what I do, I would do Internet dating instead of going out to bars. In two seconds I would. It makes so much more sense.”

What would happen is she did date online: “No. Because, ultimately, what’s going to happen? I show up to coffee.… I’m OK in my personal life. I’ve never dated. I can say this honestly: I don’t know what it’s like to date. But also, how am I going to date? I’m not in one state long enough.”

Babies: “This isn’t the right time for me to have one, but I do want a family. I’d rather be in love and have a baby than have a movie.”

When asked if she fundraises for Obama: “More like street-art-based stuff in Los Angeles that I can’t talk about…because I’m pretty sure it’s illegal… I’d rather do that. I don’t need attention for it. What I truly believe in I will do privately.”

Being linked to Ashton Kutcher: “Ninety-nine percent of it is bulls–t. That is the biggest form of bullying ever, the paparazzi. Printing lies, making accusations, it’s just bullying.”

Losing weight for Black Swan, and gaining it back: “This is my normal body. It’s not 98 pounds. God, I’m probably 25 pounds heavier in muscle mass and weight at this point. What was crazy was, when I was shooting Black Swan, everyone was like, ‘Gosh, you’re really too skinny.’ Then my weight started bouncing back and they’re like, ‘She looked better when she was anorexic-looking.’ You can’t please anyone! It was just for work. I didn’t do it because I had issues. Now this is my normal weight that I started out with. [When I was 25 pounds lighter, I felt] flat, flat, flat. [She gestures to her chest and hips.] There was no shape, no form, nothing, nothing.”

[From Glamour]

Do you really think what we’re doing is “bullying”? Not really. But then again, I don’t think that “90%” of this stuff is completely made up either. Especially in Mila’s case – I understand that she doesn’t want to answer questions about Ashton. That’s fine. But find a more dignified way of saying “No comment” or “None of your business,” as opposed to “LIAR! BULLY! CRAZY!!” I mean, there are tons of photos of Ashton and Mila on dates for months and months. The jig is up.

Photos courtesy of Glamour’s slideshow and The Fashion Spot.

As an avid movie fan, I am very rarely caught off guard by box-office results, but since I’ve been looking forward to Magic Mike (because I’m one of those laaawbreakers) to an absurd degree, that’s exactly what happened this weekend. What is this Ted that you speak of? Oh right, it’s that movie for which Mila Kunis walked the red carpet last week. Silly me. The big winner this weekend was indeed Ted with an estimated $54.1 million in ticket sales even though it was a movie about a foul-mouthed stuffed bear who hangs out with Mark Wahlberg.

However, Magic Mike also did much better than expected even though it came in at second place. Basically, all of the dudes went and watched the teddy bear film while da ladies went for the stripper movie. Go figure.

Enough of the bear talk though. Let’s talk about the future of “male objectification” movies that will spring forth from the loins of Magic Mike, which actually fared very well on its $7 million budget to rake in an estimated $39.155 million, which — if the numbers are correct — will beat Soderbergh’s previous opening weekend record of $39.154 million for Ocean’s Twelve. That means that a male stripper movie would have beaten all of Soderbergh’s other pictures, including not only all of the Ocean’s films but also Erin Brockovich and Contagion (a.k.a., “The One With Goop’s Crazy Stroke-Face”). Not too shabby, Mr. Soderbergh:

After nearly two months of Summer movies targeted at younger audiences, this weekend served as a good reminder that adults like to go to the theater too. Seth MacFarlane’s Ted scored one of the best R-rated comedy debuts ever, while R-rated male stripper flick Magic Mike proved to be a very attractive option.

Ted scored a very impressive $54.1 million from 3,239 locations. That bests the first Hangover movie’s $44.98 million for highest debut ever for an original R-rated comedy. Among all R-rated movies it ranks eighth all-time, and it ranks third among comedies behind The Hangover Part II and Sex and the City.

Ted’s success is due primarily to the strength of its broadly-appealing, completely original premise: what’s not to like about a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking teddy bear hanging out with Mark Wahlberg? It didn’t hurt that this felt like a logical transition to the big screen for “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane, and previews maintained the general humor of that show while clearly bringing something new to the table.

According to Universal’s exit polling, Ted‘s audience skewed male (56 percent) and younger (52 percent were 30 years of age and under). They awarded the movie a very good “A-” CinemaScore, which implies that strong word-of-mouth should help Ted play well for at least the next month or so.

Magic Mike had to settle for second place behind Ted, though its estimated $39.16 million was a very impressive tally indeed. It’s the third Channing Tatum movie this year to open north of $36 million, and if estimates hold it will become director Steven Soderbergh’s highest opening ever ahead of Ocean’s Twelve ($39.15 million).

This is a great initial showing for the somewhat artsy male stripper movie, and credit belongs to Warner Bros. for selling the hell out of it. The aspirational plot, which can be a bit of a downer, was largely ignored in favor of glimpses at stripping scenes involving an assortment of outrageous outfits. Instead of portraying the dark, seedy side of the movie’s world, the ads focused on the fun and excitement (not to mention plenty of abs). Late in the game, as the movie was building steam, Warner Bros. ramped up the “event movie” signals to try and get large groups of women to ditch their boyfriends and head to the movies. As expected, the men didn’t really come along: the audience was 73 percent women, and 57 percent under the age of 35.

[From Box Office Mojo]

Did I watch Magic Mike over the weekend? Hell yes. As promised, there was plenty of male nudity to be found (Vulture has made a handy set of graphs to illustrate the point).

SPOILERS BELOW!

I’m not going to really go in-depth with an analysis of this movie because what I enjoyed about it was what the trailers promoted — filthy, filthy dancing by barely dressed men. Channing Tatum (or if you prefer, Charming Potato) nearly charmed my pants off, and I received a much needed, quick-and-dirty Matthew McConaughey fix. However, the marketing of this movie was rather deceptive in that it’s a fairly dramatic movie with some heavy themes on drug use and falling down the spiral, particularly in the case of Alex Pettyfer’s character, who is nicknamed “The Kid.” Honestly, all I wanted to see were some attractive (for once, unlike in reality) male strippers gyrating and taking their clothes off. And I got what I wanted, but I still left the movie feeling somewhat depressed at the end. So while Magic Mike delivers what it promises, it’s also a bit of a lady-boner killer too. Still, I think it’s great that the movie already obliterated its budget, which means that we’ll hopefully get more movies with attractive, nearly naked dudes on display. Overall, that’s a win.

Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto