In the drama that is still the Anna Nicole Smith saga, one can’t really be surprised by anything anymore. Howard K Stern has sex with ocean mammals? Fine. Virgie Arthur is actually a pair of conjoined twins with only one visible head? Totally cool. Dannielynn’s already getting $200,000 legal bills? Well of course. The wee one’s trust fund is being charged that preposterous amount by her guardian ad litem Richard Milstein. Milstein worked for Dannielynn for about 2 – 3 weeks (depending on who you ask). He represented her interests in the Florida court after Anna Nicole Smith died, and eventually won custody of Anna Nicole’s body, since Dannielynn was ruled to be the closest relative. But since she was a baby, that meant her guardian ad litem got to choose where Smith was buried. He seemed to do a good job, and chose to have Smith buried next to her also recently deceased son Daniel in the Bahamas.

Case closed, right? Well not so much, because it seems that Milstein wants to be compensated about $200,000 for his work. He says it took not just him but five members of his office to do all the work required in the case, and that they had to devote themselves entirely to it, including travel to and from the Bahamas. That’s basically billing $900 an hour for legal work she never was able to request. Unless sucking on a binky is some type of indication one way or the other, and I just don’t know it.

“‘It’s outrageous,’ said Larry Birkhead’s attorney Nancy Hass, who along with a lawyer for Howard K. Stern has filed a complaint in Broward County objecting to the request. ‘I’m a guardian ad litem, too, and I always reduce my fees when I deal with children,’ Hass told the Palm Beach Post Monday. ‘A lot of work produced [by Milstein] was unnecessary.’ Milstein, who won custody of Smith’s body and adhered to the late model’s unwritten wish to be buried in the Bahamas next to her son Daniel, maintains that his request is more than fair.

“‘This representation required the guardian ad litem to devote significantly all of his professional and personal time and attention to the interests of Dannielynn for a period in excess of two weeks,’ he states in his petition. ‘The three weeks of work entailed the work of five people, not just myself, in order to handle the multiple details involved in handling the trial and funeral arrangements,’ Milstein wrote in an email to the Post. Echoed Robert Zinn, president of Milstein’s firm, Akerman Senterfitt: ‘We believe there is no basis whatsoever for the objections to our invoices, given the complexity of the issues, the large number of interested parties and the extremely short time.’

“‘That’s $900 an hour,’ [Krista] Barth [Hass and Stern's attorney] told the Post. ‘People believe the baby is rich. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Mr. Milstein even charged for another lawyer at his firm to go to Anna’s funeral.’ Although Dannielynn stands to inherit up to $500 million if the decade-long battle between Smith’s estate and that estate of her late husband, billionaire tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, is decided in Smith’s favor, the reality-TV star was worth only about $710,000 when she died.”

[From E! News]

When Barth and Hass responded to Milstein’s bill in an official complaint, they also suggested that Virgie Arthur should be responsible for part of Milstein’s bill, since she’s the one who initiated the legal proceedings over custody of Smith’s body. Her lawyer, Stephen Tunstall, said that was ridiculous, but he agreed that Milstein’s bill was excessive. I would love it if Arthur had to pay some of that bill. Any decent mother knows her daughter should be buried next to her grandson. Why would a good mother try to prevent that? Because the crazy lady wants money and attention. I think it’d be a little bit of justice if Arthur had to fork over the cash, instead of Dannielynn.

Jessica Seinfeld was on Oprah last week to promote her new cook book Deceptively Delicious, which has recipes that teach you how to trick your kids to eat vegetables by pureeing them up and putting them in baked goods and other kid favorites like chicken nuggets. The book became a best seller this week, and to thank Oprah, Mrs. Seinfeld sent her 21 pairs of some of the most expensive shoes available, mostly red-soled Christian Louboutins, with a note that “there are no words.”

This story sickened me a little, because Oprah is worth $1.4 billion as of last year and she just doesn’t need material things. Still, she fawned over the shoes like she does all the other pricey shit on her “Oprah’s favorite things” episodes, which just makes average people feel like we need expensive brand name luxuries in order to be happy and fulfilled like Queen Oprah.

Here is a clip from the show yesterday. Jerry Seinfeld was on to promote Bee Movie, in which Oprah has a voice cameo. Oprah of course thanked Jessica for the extravagant thank you.

After hearing this story I was interested in Seinfeld’s book, as I have a three year old and it’s very hard to get him to eat vegetables. A lot of commentors on Amazon noted that this topic was covered better in an earlier cookbook called The Sneaky Chef, in which the recipes are a lot more palatable for children by some accounts. Many people expressed dismay that Jessica Seinfeld would publish a book so similar to The Sneaky Chef without providing an acknowledgment of their efforts or inspiration.

I’m inclined to believe she did get a lot of ideas from the earlier cookbook, considering that she decided to spend $20k instead of taking the time to come up with a thoughtful thank you note to Oprah. Then again, Oprah wouldn’t have acknowledged a simple card on the air, no matter how rich and meaningful the prose.

Thanks to The Huffington Post for the video and to US Magazine for the link to the story.

Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld are shown at the opening of The Odd Couple on Broadway on 10/27/05. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Lindsay Lohan is living at a friend’s mansion in LA now, and ever-reliable British paper News of the World is declaring her broke. It looks like they’re just rehashing past reports about her well-known extravagant spending and saying she must be out of money considering she’s staying with someone, but I bet they’re right. She’s been known to bleed cash and to beg acquaintances for loans, so it’s not so much of a stretch to declare her “broke,” at least by Hollywood standards.

The thing that I find interesting about this story is the fact that she’s supposedly back in LA after saying she wanted to move to Utah permanently to be with her new snowboarder boyfriend. She could be there to shoot her new tango-themed movie, or she could have bailed on the Utah idea, having soured on the place after purchasing everything worthwhile at the local Nordstroms. There are pictures of her in Utah just Friday, though, so she must have been in LA over the weekend.

We can reveal that after jetting back to Los Angeles this week following her two-month stay at the Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab clinic, Lohan is staying in the guest house of billionaire Tom Gores, executive producer on her recent film I Know Who Killed Me.

A source close to the star revealed: “Lindsay doesn’t have much choice as she is totally broke. The only reason she’s coming back to LA, is to earn some money fast.

“She still thinks nothing of blowing thousands of dollars on a single night of partying.

“And the amount she has wasted putting cocaine up her nose is disgusting. Even she has lost count.”

[From News of The World]

Either way, you have to give Lohan some smidgen of props for staying sober for so long. Maybe she just can’t afford drugs any more, though, and there’s no one left willing to give her any.

Keep sober and stay in your squatter house, Lindsay! It’s cheaper for you and we don’t want to be forced to follow your every move on TMZ.

Lohan is shown wearing a hoodie with dumb sayings on it on 10/12 in Orem, Utah, thanks to Splash News.

You know what makes me happy? The thought of O.J. Simpson being someone’s bitch in prison. Yeah I know the likelihood that he’ll go to prison is pretty slim – it’s O.J. after all, he could go all Rambo on the inside of a police precinct and somehow get away with it. And I know the likelihood that he’d be someone’s bitch is also pretty slim – but a girl can dream, right? And that’s my dream, because I have a frighteningly retributive nature. But after the thought of O.J. going to prison and O.J. bending over, the thing that makes me the next happiest is O.J. losing all his stuff to Fred Goldman & Company. I can’t believe the Juice has been able to live his lavish lifestyle for so long, but better late than never.

“A California judge on Tuesday ordered the ex-football hero to fork over a Rolex watch, among other items, to help satisfy the $33.5 million judgment for the wrongful deaths of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. David Cook, a lawyer for Goldman’s father, Fred, said after Tuesday’s hearing that the Submariner Rolex could be worth anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000. ‘In this case, if it’s Mr. Simpson’s, then it would be ours,’ Cook told reporters outside the Santa Monica courthouse. Simpson’s Los Angeles-based attorney, Ronald Slates, expressed doubts about the Rolex’s authenticity and said he had already collected the timepiece from his client and planned to turn it over to Goldman’s camp by Tuesday afternoon. ‘Know any Rolex watches that sell for 125 bucks?’ he asked, noting that’s the amount Simpson told him he paid for it. But the lawyer conceded that if it is a knockoff, ‘it’s a pretty good copy.’”

[From E! News]

The very best part? If any of that “sports memorabilia” that Simpson was arrested for trying to steal back is found to actually belong to him, he has to surrender it – so he loses either way. Party up in here!

“Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg also ordered the Naked Gun star to surrender any of the memorabilia from last month’s purported Las Vegas heist that is found to belong to Simpson. He is currently facing 11 criminal counts, ranging from armed robbery to kidnapping, for taking the items. Simpson, 60, has proclaimed his innocence, stating that all the mementos belonged to him and he was just conducting a ‘sting operation’ to get them back.

“As for the cache of memorabilia, Slates said he had no way of handing over any of it because Las Vegas police have confiscated it for evidence. Cook countered that Rosenberg’s ruling states that should Simpson be found to own any of the disputed collectibles, which reportedly includes footballs, jerseys and photos, then they must be given to the Goldmans. ‘As we said earlier, Mr. Simpson is going to walk out of Las Vegas bust. You’ve always heard that expression,’ Cook added. ‘He’s not walking away with that sports memorabilia. That’s what the judge ordered, and he’s going to literally walk away empty-handed for all his trouble.’”

[From E! News]

I wish you all could see my happy dance. It’s very undignified, completely unhinged, and totally worth it. I love to see this wife-battering murderer getting what he deserves. I doubt much of anything will wipe the smug grin off his face, but maybe living in a box down by the river might be a good start.

Thank you Charlotte Church, for letting us plebeians know how great it is to have lots of money and just be able to sit around on your ass. The ever deep, ever insightful British opera singer/television host said, “‘I really love having money, because it lets me be lazy. Work’s really overrated. If you’re lucky enough to get the chance to be a housewife then go for it.’” And that’s Charlotte Church’s deep thought of the day… and probably the next few weeks, too. Well, at least she’s honest.

“Charlotte Church loves being rich – because it means she can be lazy. The singer – who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Gavin Henson – says she’s quite happy being a housewife and can’t understand why people would want to work if they didn’t have to.

“Charlotte, who has a reported £5.5 million [about $10 million USD] fortune, said: ‘I really love having money, because it lets me be lazy. Work’s really overrated. If you’re lucky enough to get the chance to be a housewife then go for it.’

“‘I love my house in the country. There are sheep and rabbits there. It’s peaceful.’

“Despite having millions at her disposal, Charlotte insists she is quite frugal with her cash. She added: ‘The free accessories are almost the best part of being famous. I’m careful with my money, but when I think about having made my own money, I smile inside, even though I’m not flash. I’m a Marks and Spencer girl.

“‘I don’t buy diamonds any more. The only think I would really like is a yacht.’”

[From Monsters & Critics]

I don’t buy diamonds anymore. Well, at least for jewelry. Instead, I crush them into a paste – who am I kidding, I have my servant crush them into a paste – using an antique mortar and pestle, and then I smear the diamonds on my face as the world’s most expensive microdermabrasion. It sloughs off all the dead skin, and makes me 18 carat personality sparkle through. Blech. I really imagine Charlotte Church saying that in a valley girl accent, where every statement is a question while she twirls her hair around her finger. I know she made the money herself, but show a little gratitude. Or just pretend you have a marginally level head. Ever since I earned my first ten million, once a week I have my servant slap my silly, jut to keep me humble. Charlotte should try that. And she should let me do the slapping.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Charlotte, pre-pregnancy, at the Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest UK Premiere on 7/3/2006. Header image of Charlotte at the Glamour Women Of The Year Awards this past June. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Tobey Maguire married his longtime fugalicious fiancee Jennifer Meyer over the weekend. She’s actually not that fug, even though people are always saying that – she’s just “real woman” pretty. Which means not perfect, so points to Tobey for keeping it real. Or whatever. The two have been dating since 2003 and have a nine month old daughter, Ruby. They were married in Hawaii in an intimate ceremony in Kona.

“Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer, who are parents to a 9-month-old daughter, have gotten married in Hawaii, PEOPLE has confirmed. Maguire, 32, and Meyer, 30, exchanged vows Monday in a sunset ceremony in Kona in front of a small group of family and friends, including Leonardo DiCaprio. The couple, who met in early 2003 and welcomed daughter Ruby in November, have kept their longterm romance fairly low profile.

“‘They are similar because they are very guarded around people they don’t know,’ a friend of Meyer, the daughter of Vivendi Universal Entertainment CEO Ron Meyer, told PEOPLE in 2003. Earlier this year, the Spider-Man star told reporters that he ‘loves being a dad.’ And his costar Bryce Dallas Howard praised both Maguire and Meyer for their parenting skills. ‘[Jennifer Meyer] is just an incredibly mindful parent. I mean, they both are,’ said Howard.

“Maguire, who has admitted to having a rocky childhood, has said that settling down and finding stability are important to him. ‘Growing up the way I did, I had a very serious ambition to make some money, to have some security and comfort in my life,’ the star told Parade in April. And becoming a father has led him to think about putting down roots outside of Hollywood, he said. ‘I’m at that stage where I have to start thinking about where I want Ruby to grow up and go to school…Even though L.A. is pretty laid-back, maybe it would be a good idea to try a different, less ambitious kind of atmosphere.’”

[From People]

Tobey’s one of those guys that just seems like he’d be a good dad. I know almost nothing about him, but he just has that look to him – something about the “I’m a good guy” expression. (We won’t count the smacking a camera out of a fan’s hand incident against him – I do it to my fans all the time). Celebitchy reported that Tobey is “notoriously tight-fisted” but that might be a good thing for his kids – perhaps they won’t fall into the traps a lot of celebuspawn find themselves in.

I was intrigued by the comments Tobey has made about his tough childhood, but couldn’t really find many specifics. Here’s a vague outline from Wikipedia.

“Maguire was born in Santa Monica, California. His father, Vincent Maguire, was a construction worker and a cook. His mother, Wendy Brown, is a secretary turned screenwriter and producer. His parents were 18 and 20 years old, and unmarried, at the time of his birth; the two married and subsequently divorced when Maguire was two. Maguire spent much of his childhood moving from town to town, living with each parent and other family members. During his childhood, Maguire entertained the idea of becoming a chef and to that end wanted to enroll in a Home Economics class as a sixth grader. His mother offered him $100 USD to take a drama class instead, and Tobey agreed.

“The nomadic nature of his school-age years began to take a toll on Maguire emotionally, and finally, after yet another relocation to yet another school, Maguire dropped out of his freshman year of high school and never returned, deciding to focus himself on his blossoming acting career. By 2000, Maguire had taken the GED to officially graduate from high school, noting that during his high school days, he’d reached a point where ‘I wasn’t doing school. I was showing up, but…not really giving myself.’

“By the mid 1990s, Maguire was steadily working but becoming caught up in the hard-partying lifestyle of some of his fellow teen actors. In 1995, Maguire requested director Allan Moyle to release him from his part in the movie Empire Records. Moyle agreed, and all of Tobey’s scenes were deleted from the final film. Maguire then sought help for an underaged drinking problem from Alcoholics Anonymous; he has been sober ever since.”

[From Wikipedia]

It sounds like he’s someone who’s worked hard for what he has, and isn’t going to let that slip away from him. There’s definitely been several stories about him being cheap and controlling, but it seems like his history explains that. How many people become famous and then throw all their money away on cars and drugs? It makes sense that security would be important to him, and I’m guessing that getting married was a big part of that. Congrats to the newlyweds, may they have many years of carefully timed babies and meticulously planned budgets in their future.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Tobey and Jennifer are shown at the Spiderman 3 Premiere in NY on 4/30/07. Images thanks to PRPhotos.

In 2005, Lindsay Lohan is said to have shocked her accountants by running up a million dollar bill at the Chateau Marmont hotel where she was staying. (And ultimately got kicked out of for her rampant partying.) Despite getting comped a lot of clothes, shoes, and purses, and stealing tens of thousands worth of clothing from her friends, she also spent $1 million shopping for crap she probably only wore once that same year.

It’s no surprise, then, that the woman who blew all her cash on clothes and drugs is now begging acquaintances for money. Lohan is said to ask just about everyone to give her $10k.

Lohan’s mom Dina has cut her off from her money after her latest DUI, but I bet she’s squandered most of her earnings on frivolous things anyway.

Lindsay, 21, resorted to begging, the sources, say, because her manager mom, Dina, has temporarily cut her off from what’s left of the fortune she made starring in hit films like Mean Girls and Freaky Friday.

“Dina must think Lohan is a serious addict, and she’s afraid if she gives her even $20, she’ll run out and buy drugs and booze,” says an insider close tot he family…

“Lindsay wants money – what she calls ‘cake’ – now,” says a source. She’s even asked guys she’s only met two or three times to hand over $10,000. That’s what she always asks for: 10K.”

Among the celebs Lindsay’s tried to hit up are 50 Cent and Music producer Damon Dash, the source reveals.

She’s also turned to former flames Steve-O, That 70′s Show’s Wilmer Valderamma and British Model Calum Best. She keeps getting turned down, but one music industry insider confesses that he did fall victim to her charms.

“When Lindsay asked me, after her second arrest, I kind of laughed because she’s a big movie star, right? Why does she need money from me?” the industry insider asks. “She explained her money was ‘tied up.’ She wasn’t even nice about it. She said ‘I’m good for it, I’ll make a huge comeback. I am, after all, the most famous person on the planet right now!’”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, September 10, 2007]

Steve-O? I saw was was supposed to be that guy’s apartment on Cribs once and it’s doubtful he has that kind of cash. Either that or he’s saving it all and just enjoys living like a college student.

It sounds like typical Lindsay to say “I’m the most famous person on the planet.” People aren’t even that interested in her anymore, she’s fading fast. If she can’t get money from random acquaintances, she still has one means to make a quick buck. She’s said to be arranging photo opportunities from rehab. Once the veneer on her fame has completely rubbed off she’ll be standing on street corners clutching a Voss water bottle, talking about how famous she is in that old lady voice of hers and screaming about how the world is just waiting for her. I’d give her a dollar.

As much as I like Angelina and Brad, I still like Jennifer Aniston too. I don’t feel I have to choose, though the three of them keep yelling at me to pick, and screaming about my “divided loyalties.” Or maybe I need to take more Xanax. But I’ve decided that I can love them all, because all three have good things going for them. Angelina tries to save/adopt the world, Brad has his New Orleans/love of spartan architecture, and Jennifer takes her friends on fancy vacations. All good things here. According to Star, Jen is quite the sugar mama, and her friends are very loyal to her and appreciative of it.

“‘Jennifer pays for everything all the time,’ insider tells Star. ‘If she plans a vacation, you know she’s footing the bill for her entire entourage. Jen’s assistant books it all. The planes, the cars, the hotels, the meals, the activities, the spa services, the clothes they wear on vacation, the cocktails – it’s so over the top! She’s like the sugar daddy everyone wishes they had, except she’s a woman! You could call her sugar mama!’

“Among the girls who’ve enjoyed luxury getaways courtesy of their de-pocketed [sic] pal: Actress Andrea Bendewald, who’s been close to Jennifer for more than a decade; movie producer Kristin Hahn, who broke off her working relationship with Brad Pitt after he divorced Jen, and yoga instructor Mandy Ingber, who bonded with Jen this summer during private yoga sessions at Jen’s Malibu home. On August 11, she took her posse to the swanky Ojai Valley Inn & Spa, an hour north of L.A. The benevolent beauty also splashes out on Cartier watches and spends thousands on baby gifts for her mommy pals.

“But is her open-pocket policy costing Jen her happiness? ‘Her friends really enjoy themselves, but I bet they’re afraid that she’ll find a serious boyfriend,’ the insider says. ‘That means no more free trips for them – and that’s why they seem to be hard on her dates. I’m sure they were brutal with her last boyfriend, Paul Sculfor.’”

[From Starpulse]

So now I just have to figure out a way to ingratiate myself to Jennifer Aniston. Seriously, it would suck if her friends were uber-critical of her boyfriends to keep Jen to herself, but I doubt that’s the truth. I’m sure she’d catch on after awhile. The article does make it sound like she’s basically bribing her friends to hang out with her. I would bet she likes to have a good time and knows that she can afford it, while it’s more of a strain on some of her friends. One (or some) of them is blabbing to someone, since a lot of her dirt seems to get out. But like I said before, I think most of the stuff written about her is tabloid conjecture. I think she’s made a pretty full life for herself based on her friends instead of a guy, and that’s great. And if she wants to make me her friend and take me to Paris with her, even better.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jen on vacation in Hawaii with Courtney Cox this past weekend. Something tells me Courtney footed her own bill. Header image of Jennifer and Courtney in Malibu this summer. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Rich people do the craziest things. Crazy rich people do even crazier things. I remember ten years ago when some person left all their money in their will to their dog, and it got a lot of press, but amounted to about half a million at most. Well Leona Helmsley, the billionaire who passed away last week – and was known since her 1988 tax evasion trial as the “Queen of Mean” – left $12 freaking million to her dog Trouble. She left $5 million to two of her four grandchildren, and cut the other two out completely “for reasons which are known to them,” according to the will. Ouch. You know how they say, “You can’t take it with you”? Well apparently you can’t, but you can be mean well beyond the grave. The two grandsons who did get money only get it on a contingency basis – they have to visit their father’s grave at least once a year. I wonder how they’re going to verify that?

“Real estate billionaire Leona Helmsley left $12 million in her will for her dog Trouble but cut out two of her four grandchildren entirely. Helmsley, the “Queen of Mean” who was famously quoted as saying “only the little people pay taxes” before going to jail for tax evasion, died August 20 at 87. The 14-page will was made public in Surrogate’s Court on Tuesday and reported in New York media on Wednesday, with the New York Post headlining the story “Rich bitch,” referring to the female dog.

“Trouble, a white Maltese, will be cared for by Helmsley’s brother Alvin Rosenthal, who was left $10 million. Two grandchildren, David and Walter Panzirer, will be left $5 million each as long as they visit their father’s grave at least once a year — Helmsley’s son, Jay Panzirer, died in 1982 — and her chauffeur will get $100,000. ‘I have not made any provisions in this will for my grandson Craig Panzirer or my granddaughter Meegan Panzirer for reasons which are known to them,’ Helmsley wrote. The will calls for Trouble to be entombed alongside Helmsley and husband Harry Helmsley, who died in 1997, in their $1.4 million mausoleum, for which Leona Helmsley set aside $3 million for upkeep including annual cleanings.”

[From Reuters]

Talk about a big bag of crazy. I’m not sure how old trouble is, but let’s say for argument that she’s 7 years old, and super healthy and could miraculously live another twenty years (because dogs fed diamonds can live a really, really long time). That would provide Trouble with $600,000 annually to live on. I’m not sure if dogs have to pay inheritance taxes. Now if Trouble invested that money wisely in a diversified portfolio with some good mutual funds, she could easily garner twice that a year and have more than enough to secure all her puppies futures. Though I’d stay away from those other two Helmsley grandchildren – something tells me Trouble is more than a little hated right now.

Images thanks to Splash Photos.

If you’re anything like me, you were probably sitting around, looking at your wall, and thinking, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the richest rap mogul of them all?” If your mirror said Jay-Z, you should give it some Windex. Jay-Z was just named the richest rapper by Forbes.com. I thought they were supposed to spend their time talking about financial markets, stocks, and making people panic over real estate. But it seems that lately, Forbes is spending the majority of their time coming out with “The richest…” lists. Last week they had “The richest bald man” and “The richest one legged farmer.” Okay not really, but I would read Forbes a lot more if they did. Okay not really.

“Jay-Z wins all around, says Forbes.com. He’s got Beyonce on his arm _ and more millions than 50 Cent and Diddy. The rap icon, aka Shawn Carter, is No. 1 on the site’s list of “Hip-Hop Cash Kings,” based solely on 2006 income. He banked an estimated $34 million, Forbes.com said Thursday.

“Jay-Z, president and CEO of Def Jam Recordings, released his 11th studio album, ‘Kingdom Come,’ which sold around 2 million copies. Jay-Z, 37, is also part owner of the New Jersey Nets and has endorsement deals with Budweiser, Hewlett-Packard and General Motors.”

[From Forbes.com]

It might be good to be Jay-Z – yeah you have a lot of money, and Beyonce at your beck and call singing that “Cater 2U” song (blech) – but you’d also have to deal with that crazy mother of hers, Tina Knowles. You know, that lady that’s always trying to drape people in the fur of live puppies? Well her clothing line is one of the few out there that still uses fur, and to me it’s all the same thing. Who else makes a lot of money and doesn’t come wit the bizarre mother?

“Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson ranks second with an estimated $32 million. The 31-year-old rapper-businessman oversees his G-Unit record label, clothing line, ring tones and other enterprises, and has sold more than 11 million albums. His latest record, ‘Curtis,’ is due out Sept. 11.

“Diddy (real name: Sean Combs) placed third with an estimated $28 million. A fashion plate, he has a clothing line, Sean John, and heads Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment and its record label. Diddy, 37, is also host of MTV’s ‘Making the Band’ series.

“Rounding out the top five are Timbaland ($21 million) and Dr. Dre ($20 million). They’re followed by Eminem ($18 million); Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Pharrell Williams and Scott Storch (all $17 million); Ludacris and T.I. (both $16 million); Outkast and Lil Jon (both $14 million); Ice Cube ($13 million); Jermaine Dupri and Swizz Beatz (both $12 million); Chamillionaire and The Game (both $11 million); and Young Joc ($10 million).”

[From Forbes.com]

You could be at the bottom of that group and still be doing pretty well for yourself. I have no idea who Swizz Beatz (sounds like the name of a cheap watch) or any of the guys after him are, but I’m pretty sure I could learn to love them, given the chance.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jay-Z and Beyonce at the Black and White Ball. Header image of Jay-Z at Giant Magazine’s celebration of Rihanna’s new album on June 3rd. Images thanks to PR Photos.