Heather Mills sure knows how to give average, run-of-the-mill hypocrites a run for their money. The crazed loony - who has long been criticized for her poorly received attempts at social climbing – has decided to further ostracize herself from the nice people that used to have her over for dinner when she was married to a Beatle. For some reason Heather was invited to give a speech to the debate society at Trinity College in Dublin. I have no idea why they would want to give such a raving diatribist an academic soapbox. It’s like encouraging her mad delusions. During her hour and a half long speech (I can’t help but wonder if it really was supposed to be that long) Mills went off on the rich, calling them stingy and snobby. This is the same woman who turned down several divorce settlements in the $50 million range.

Mills McCartney said she was reluctantly obliged to befriend the world’s wealthy because that was the only way to maximize her power as an agent for change.

“Sadly, you have to mix at a certain level of people to raise the level of funds you need to bring about the greater good,” she said. “Because people are very snobby. These people who have lots of money, they’re either snobby or they’re stingy. If you have lots of money, you have to be stingy — because why would you want that amount of money?”

She also compared herself to human rights crusaders down through the ages, suggesting they all had been victimized for their beliefs. “If you look at every single person in the history of the world who has tried to make a difference, you’ll find a very long section of their lives where they were treated horrifically by the government or by the media,” she said.

[From Fox News]

Yeah I laughed pretty hard too. Heather Mills is calling someone else snobby? I would be really curious to hear a psychologist’s take on what is actually wrong with her. It’s more than your regular garden-variety narcissism. It’s especially ironic that Heather is criticizing the wealthy given that in the rough draft for her upcoming book, she talks about her desire for social status and brags about mingling with the upper crust and, “wanting that power for herself” and her “hope to find a rich and powerful man of her own.” The only consolation I have when thinking about Heather Mills is that old adage that the people you meet on the way up are the same ones you meet on the way down. And something tells me she hasn’t managed to stay in the good graces of the people that helped her climb.

Picture note by Celebitchy Heather Mills is shown in Dublin not looking like a snob outside her hotel on 11/21. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

Kim Cattrall sure wasn’t kidding when she said that she was just doing the Sex and The City movie for the money. Not only is she being paid the hefty fee of $6 million to do the film - her salary is three times the amount that her fellow supporting actresses Cynthia Nixon and Kirsten Davis are being paid. Davis and Nixon, who were always on board for a film version of the hit HBO series and didn’t hold out for more money and perks like Cattrall did, are receiving just $2 million a piece. That hardly sounds fair, does it?

[Kim Cattrall will] get a whopping $6 million to re-create her character Samantha Jones for the film version of the hit show, while Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbes) and Kristin Davis (Charlotte York) are walking away with only $2 million each, The Enquirer has learned.

“Kim has had the last laugh on her co-stars,” said a source close to the highly anticipated project.

“For years she was the odd girl-out while Cynthia and Kristin sucked up to Sarah Jessica Parker and snubbed Kim.

“But this time Kim’s calling the shots. She’s letting everyone in the world know she was the cast holdout and she demanded triple was the other girls got.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 26, 2007]

According to The Enquirer, Sarah Jessica Parker had plenty of incentive to reward Cattrall for driving a hard bargain. She will make nearly $10 million for playing Carrie Bradshaw and will earn another $5 million for producing the film.

What I fail to see is how Cattrall is technically more valuable to the cast than Nixon and Davis are. If someone has a more central role, like Sarah Jessica Parker, they should get more money for it, but Cattrall certainly isn’t worth three times the amount her costars are. It sounds like they were so desperate to make this already-overdue film that they just dealt with Cattrall and met her demands. Meanwhile the actresses who played fair and just wanted to do their jobs are the ones who got screwed.

This is the woman who put out two how-to sex books and deliberately went without panties (NSFW link) to pull a “Basic Instinct” crossing-legs maneuver while promoting the second last November. Maybe she won’t have to resort to such desperate measures to revive her career now that she has some cash in the bank.

Life is imitating long-gone television for Kim Cattrall. 51 year-old Cattrall has been dating 28 year-old Canadian chef Alan Wyse since 2004.

Cattrall and her co-stars are shown on the Sex and the City set on 11/7/07. Thanks to Splash News.

Celebrities’ lavish spending is nothing new, but according to several recent articles, the amount of spending is. Where stars used to bank money away - knowing that their careers could always take a nosedive - these days they seem to spend until it has all dried up. Last month court papers were made public that revealed Britney Spears takes home an average of $737,000 every month. Yet the records also show that she doesn’t have any savings or investments. That kind of lifestyle has led many of the famous and the formerly famous into bankruptcy.

“Most high earners, like celebrities, should view themselves like ballplayers do,” said Everett Weinberger, a financial adviser at Merrill Lynch. “You need to put away money right at the beginning, assuming that it may end. … Young people can be very shortsighted, forgetting that they’re not going to be famous forever.”

Michael Jackson knows this story all too well. He’s defaulted on a $23 million loan, and if he doesn’t pay the full amount — plus $212,963.83 in interest — by the end of January, he could lose his beloved Neverland Ranch. Twelve years ago, the female R&B group TLC was also forced to file for bankruptcy, despite selling a staggering 23 million records. Britney may not be far behind. Court papers show that she spends $102,000 each month on entertainment, gifts and vacations. Her monthly clothing bill is a whopping $16,000 — $1,000 more than she forks over for child support.

Lindsay Lohan reportedly spent more than $1 million on clothes last year, but her publicist denied it. (Her stylist Rachel Zoe also reportedly said that her client’s closet is filled with $8,000 Prada dresses and $2,000 Prada bags.) And Jessica Simpson’s penchant for $1,400 Egyptian-cotton sheets was well-documented on MTV’s ill-fated “Newlyweds.”

[From Fox News]

The article goes on to give one of the most famous examples of ridiculous spending followed by financial ruin – MC Hammer. Although Jacko’s obviously following closely behind. Hammer made over $33 off “U Can’t Touch This” – and ran through it all in under four years. His entourage included over 200 employees. He had 17 cars, an entire stable of thoroughbred race horses, and added three waterfalls and $2 million worth of marble to his home. Not only did he blow through all $33 million, but when he filed for bankruptcy in 1996, Hammer was in debt an additional $13 million.

The article goes on to list some celebrities that have been smart with their money by investing it to make even more.

Rapper Jay-Z owns a stake in the New Jersey Nets, co-owns the Rocawear clothing line and is president of Universal Music Group’s Def Jam Recording. Sean “Diddy” Combs has interests in Bad Boy Records, the clothing lines Sean John and Sean by Sean Combs, a movie production company and two restaurants. And Def Jam Records co-founder Russell Simmons owns a management company, a clothing line called Phat Farm, a movie production house, TV shows, a magazine and an advertising agency. The three men are worth approximately $547 million, $358 million and $340 million respectively.

“Celebrities tend to over-invest in real estate because it’s tangible and sexy,” Weinberger said. “They see that beautiful house in Florida or California and have to have it. People should know, in general, that real estate is not going to appreciate as well as the stock market.” Nevertheless, real estate can always be sold off to pay creditors, whereas handbags, stilettos and sheaths lose value the minute the tags are cut.

[From Fox News]

I think the author is taking a rather biased view – she doesn’t bother to mention any female celebrities that have made good financial decisions. As much as I can’t stand her, Kimora Simmons has quite an empire going on. Oprah has phenomenal business skills. There are certainly a lot of young idiot celebrities that may very well blow it all, but it seems like they’re focusing on the ladies a lot more than the men. Certainly there are some guys out there sporting too much bling and an excessive entourage. I seriously doubt saving money is even on Britney’s list right now – but considering the downturn her entire life has taken, she may want to get a good financial advisor to safeguard her money. And Lindsay’s been reported to be broke for almost a year now, with rumors floating around that she’s selling pictures of herself to gossip mags for money. The optimistic part of me hopes that as they mature, they’ll be able to save and spend a little better. And hopefully they’ll still have careers then too.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Lohan again, shopping at Chanel in Beverly Hills, after having lunch at the Ivy. She reportedly bought an expensive purse – though Lindsay’s known for her ability to haggle free swag. In light of this article, more power to her I guess. Header image of Britney and her new white $200,000 Mercedes SL6. She went shopping with “boyfriend” Sam Lufti at trendy baby store Bel Bambini, on Robertson Boulevard in Los Angeles on November 10th. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Jay Z now has the top selling album in America with the soundtrack for the film American Gangster. It is his tenth number one album and he is currently tied at second with Elvis for the most albums in history at the top spot on the charts. Only the Beatles have had more number one releases.

In a new interview with Blender Magazine, Jay-Z says that seeing the film American Gangster and making the album brought him back to the time when he was a dealer on the streets working daily to elude the cops. He said he tapped into those old emotions and nervous adrenaline to help fuel the creativity that helped him put out another chart-topper:

What is it about this movie that opened the creative floodgates?
It was the emotions I remember from that time. Paranoia, excitement, addiction. It really is an addiction. After a while in the game, you become addicted to the excitement and the sense of uncertainty. Because any day could be your last. Cops are watching you, enemies are watching you — and knowing that, it’s this weird … rush.

[From Blender.com]

With a net worth estimated at $286 million, Jay-Z has experienced incredible success, but says the results aren’t as exhilarating as he hoped. He says that, like Denzel Washington’s character, he ’s had his share of letdowns after reaching the top. Still, he admits it has its perks:

On the American Gangster track “Success,” you rap about the disillusionment that can come with achieving your dream: “All I got is this big house, couple cars, I don’t bring half them shits out … How many times can I go to Mr. Chow’s?”
In the context of the album, it was that Scarface moment when Tony Montana sits in the restaurant and looks around and says, “This is all it’s about?” You get to that point where it’s like, “OK, I drove the Rolls Phantom around the corner and … nothing happened.” And you ask yourself, “That’s it? I thought blondes was gonna be jumping on my hood!”

Do you ever hang out with anyone richer than you?
I don’t know. I’m sure I do. I’ve hung out with Bill Gates, but he’s not a friend of mine. I’ve hung out with Bono. He’s gotta be way richer than me.

What’s the most expensive bottle of wine you’ve ever bought?
Oh, my goodness, I know that exactly. I had a $20,000 Petrus 1945 at a place called Graycliff in the Bahamas.

Full-bodied? Playful? Impudent?
Oh, it was definitely full-bodied. Incredible. You could almost taste the barrel. It was one of those things where you say, “Come on, how good could it be? What’s the difference?” But you really could taste the difference. It was damn near like smoking weed. It was a high.

[From Blender.com]

As for who he’s supporting in the presidential race, Jigga says that he likes Barack Obama and had a conversation with him about his career when the subject was brought up. He’s says he’s not sure who he will back though and is “gonna go down to the last day with this one.”

Jay-Z laughed and refused to comment when asked if he’s planning to marry his longterm girlfriend, singer Beyoncé. Maybe he’s still waiting for those girls to come jump on his car.

Thanks to Blender.com for the interview and photos.

God I wish I were famous. Why aren’t entertainment bloggers more famous? If we were, we could get great promotion deals like Puffy, who just signed a deal to promote Ciroc Vodka that could be worth as much as $100 million over the next several years. They could do that for bloggers. I could promote… thinking hard… pens? Computers? Us Weekly? That’s got to be worth a good $45 right there. Damn you Puffy. Like you didn’t have enough money, you had to add another freaking hundred million to the pot? That means he can father at least four more illegitimate kids and still pay for them. That’s not right.

Just five years ago, Sean “Diddy” Combs asked Busta Rhymes to “pass the Courvoisier.” These days, it’s all about the vodka. The 37-year-old hip-hop mogul has inked a multiyear deal to develop the Ciroc vodka brand - one of Diageo PLC’s superpremium lines - for a 50-50 share in the profits. It’s the latest agreement in which a celebrity is going beyond the typical endorser role to share in a brand’s rise and fall, such as Jay-Z with Budweiser and 50 Cent with Vitamin Water.

Diageo said the agreement could be worth more than $100 million for Combs over the course of the deal, depending on how well the brand performs. “It is not an endorsement deal,” Combs told The Associated Press on Tuesday night. “This is something that will have my daily attention.” Combs said he wanted to work with Diageo because the company understood that “I’m not just a celebrity endorser, I’m a brand builder. I’m a luxury brand builder.” Combs said he will be responsible for everything from marketing the brand to deciding where to sell it, and will focus on attracting “movers and shakers” to the line. “They’re looking for something that tastes like their lifestyle,” he said. “It’s that trendsetter, that hipster, someone who’s looking for luxury and looking for something better. I can’t overhype someone into loving vodka,” he said. But once consumers actually taste Ciroc, “I think we can convert a lot of people.”

[From the Associated Press]

You know what P-Diddle or whatever your name is, you can suck it. $100 million for that? I would do that for $1.25. I’m not saying it’d work out as well, but it would be more fair. Really, as much as I joke, P-Diddle is nothing if not a phenomenal businessman. He knows how to turn himself into a brand and how to really market himself, his lifestyle, and his products. His Sean Jean label is doing incredibly well, and the guy really does control and participate in his businesses – he doesn’t just slap his name on something some company did all the work for. It sounds like this deal will obviously be a little more traditional, in that this is another company’s product, and not P-Diddle’s. But for that amount of money, most people would promote just about anything. So congrats, I guess. Jerk.

Did I hide my jealousy well?

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Puffy at the Sean John Womens Line Launch Party on October 19th in New York City. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Lindsay Lohan must really be up a creek financially. The actress had to pull out of her hosting duties to celebrate her 21st birthday at Sin City nightclub in Las Vegas, and can’t afford to pay back the hundreds of thousands of dollars she was paid by the club. As a result, the newly-“sober” actress will have to host a New Year’s party at one of Pure’s other clubs, LAX. Wow, what the hell has she done with all her money? I’m guessing drank it away/”crashed into too many cars” it away.

Less than a month after leaving Utah’s Cirque Lodge, Lindsay Lohan is poised to make a comeback to the club scene. A source tells Usmagazine.com the actress, 21, is set to host a New Year’s blowout at Las Vegas hot spot LAX. But Lohan isn’t exactly breaking out the noisemakers about the gig. “Lindsay doesn’t necessarily want to host, but she’s contractually obligated,” a source says.

The source tells Us Lohan took on the gig in order to pay back the “hundreds of thousands of dollars” she got by agreeing to host her 21st birthday in Sin City at PURE Nightclub (which, like LAX, is owned by Pure Management Group). Lohan was forced to scrap the July 2 bash to focus on her treatment in rehab. Adds the source, “She already took the money from the birthday gig and can’t afford to pay them back.”

[From Us Magazine]

I always wonder about these unnamed sources in a lot of stories. But frankly, Lindsay Lohan has a bunch of gabby friends, and it has long been reported that she’s running out of money. I wonder if Brandon Davis’s infamous “Firecrotch” rant – in which he called Lohan poor – had some truth to it. If she really is poor, could the other things he said also be true? He also said, “She has freckles coming out of her vagina, and her clitoris is seven feet long.” Um… I’m sorta wondering now. Not enough to go investigate for myself, but enough that if any or our readers can testify as to the veracity of said freckle/clitoral statements, I’d really like to know. Thanks.

Sometimes I think celebrities are so used to getting things for free that it doesn’t occur to them to pay like a regular person. Swag has its advantages, but the downside is that sometimes you forget that you actually have to use your Black MasterCard. Shocking. I am a lover of J-Lo. I cannot explain why. Everyone seems to be able to tell me about 39 reasons why I should not like her, so I really can’t tell you why I do. But I’m not really a fan of her ordering half a dozen limos for herself, her friends, her family, and her hangers-on and not feeling the need to pay for them.

JENNIFER Lopez racked up more than $16,000 in limousine charges during the July premiere of her Spanish-language movie “El Cantante,” and now she’s fighting the limo company over the bill. While being chauffeured around New York for a week, Lopez - who is obviously pregnant, reportedly with twins - also ordered cars for her husband, Marc Anthony, stylist, Ken Paves, sister, Linda Lopez, and a slew of hangers-on. “Jennifer is being very difficult,” said Spiegel Limousine Corp. honcho Sherif, who asked that his last name not be used. “We’ve been calling for several months to collect on the bill. When I asked why they aren’t paying, the account person claimed nobody had authorized the transactions.” Lopez’s people apparently disagreed with Spiegel over how much is owed for time when the cars had to wait for passengers. After we called Lopez’s reps, Sherif asked us to quash the story, claiming he wouldn’t be paid if we reported the dispute. A Lopez rep told us, “The bills were being reviewed because there were some inaccuracies. An amount has been decided on, and payments are being made.”

[From Page Six]

That’s not really classy. J-Lo, pay up. And give me an exclusive on your twins. Not that it’s any big deal by now, the hype is totally over. J-Lo’s second husband, Cris Judd, confirmed her pregnancy today. She is orchestrating some kind of crazy publicity scheme here. I can’t even imagine what the point is – I guess it keeps us talking. But frankly, if we knew she was pregnant, that would probably keep us talking too. Plus she could get free baby swag. And since we’ve already established that she doesn’t like to pay for stuff, that can only be good.

In the drama that is still the Anna Nicole Smith saga, one can’t really be surprised by anything anymore. Howard K Stern has sex with ocean mammals? Fine. Virgie Arthur is actually a pair of conjoined twins with only one visible head? Totally cool. Dannielynn’s already getting $200,000 legal bills? Well of course. The wee one’s trust fund is being charged that preposterous amount by her guardian ad litem Richard Milstein. Milstein worked for Dannielynn for about 2 – 3 weeks (depending on who you ask). He represented her interests in the Florida court after Anna Nicole Smith died, and eventually won custody of Anna Nicole’s body, since Dannielynn was ruled to be the closest relative. But since she was a baby, that meant her guardian ad litem got to choose where Smith was buried. He seemed to do a good job, and chose to have Smith buried next to her also recently deceased son Daniel in the Bahamas.

Case closed, right? Well not so much, because it seems that Milstein wants to be compensated about $200,000 for his work. He says it took not just him but five members of his office to do all the work required in the case, and that they had to devote themselves entirely to it, including travel to and from the Bahamas. That’s basically billing $900 an hour for legal work she never was able to request. Unless sucking on a binky is some type of indication one way or the other, and I just don’t know it.

“‘It’s outrageous,’ said Larry Birkhead’s attorney Nancy Hass, who along with a lawyer for Howard K. Stern has filed a complaint in Broward County objecting to the request. ‘I’m a guardian ad litem, too, and I always reduce my fees when I deal with children,’ Hass told the Palm Beach Post Monday. ‘A lot of work produced [by Milstein] was unnecessary.’ Milstein, who won custody of Smith’s body and adhered to the late model’s unwritten wish to be buried in the Bahamas next to her son Daniel, maintains that his request is more than fair.

“‘This representation required the guardian ad litem to devote significantly all of his professional and personal time and attention to the interests of Dannielynn for a period in excess of two weeks,’ he states in his petition. ‘The three weeks of work entailed the work of five people, not just myself, in order to handle the multiple details involved in handling the trial and funeral arrangements,’ Milstein wrote in an email to the Post. Echoed Robert Zinn, president of Milstein’s firm, Akerman Senterfitt: ‘We believe there is no basis whatsoever for the objections to our invoices, given the complexity of the issues, the large number of interested parties and the extremely short time.’

“‘That’s $900 an hour,’ [Krista] Barth [Hass and Stern's attorney] told the Post. ‘People believe the baby is rich. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Mr. Milstein even charged for another lawyer at his firm to go to Anna’s funeral.’ Although Dannielynn stands to inherit up to $500 million if the decade-long battle between Smith’s estate and that estate of her late husband, billionaire tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, is decided in Smith’s favor, the reality-TV star was worth only about $710,000 when she died.”

[From E! News]

When Barth and Hass responded to Milstein’s bill in an official complaint, they also suggested that Virgie Arthur should be responsible for part of Milstein’s bill, since she’s the one who initiated the legal proceedings over custody of Smith’s body. Her lawyer, Stephen Tunstall, said that was ridiculous, but he agreed that Milstein’s bill was excessive. I would love it if Arthur had to pay some of that bill. Any decent mother knows her daughter should be buried next to her grandson. Why would a good mother try to prevent that? Because the crazy lady wants money and attention. I think it’d be a little bit of justice if Arthur had to fork over the cash, instead of Dannielynn.

Jessica Seinfeld was on Oprah last week to promote her new cook book Deceptively Delicious, which has recipes that teach you how to trick your kids to eat vegetables by pureeing them up and putting them in baked goods and other kid favorites like chicken nuggets. The book became a best seller this week, and to thank Oprah, Mrs. Seinfeld sent her 21 pairs of some of the most expensive shoes available, mostly red-soled Christian Louboutins, with a note that “there are no words.”

This story sickened me a little, because Oprah is worth $1.4 billion as of last year and she just doesn’t need material things. Still, she fawned over the shoes like she does all the other pricey shit on her “Oprah’s favorite things” episodes, which just makes average people feel like we need expensive brand name luxuries in order to be happy and fulfilled like Queen Oprah.

Here is a clip from the show yesterday. Jerry Seinfeld was on to promote Bee Movie, in which Oprah has a voice cameo. Oprah of course thanked Jessica for the extravagant thank you.

After hearing this story I was interested in Seinfeld’s book, as I have a three year old and it’s very hard to get him to eat vegetables. A lot of commentors on Amazon noted that this topic was covered better in an earlier cookbook called The Sneaky Chef, in which the recipes are a lot more palatable for children by some accounts. Many people expressed dismay that Jessica Seinfeld would publish a book so similar to The Sneaky Chef without providing an acknowledgment of their efforts or inspiration.

I’m inclined to believe she did get a lot of ideas from the earlier cookbook, considering that she decided to spend $20k instead of taking the time to come up with a thoughtful thank you note to Oprah. Then again, Oprah wouldn’t have acknowledged a simple card on the air, no matter how rich and meaningful the prose.

Thanks to The Huffington Post for the video and to US Magazine for the link to the story.

Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld are shown at the opening of The Odd Couple on Broadway on 10/27/05. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Lindsay Lohan is living at a friend’s mansion in LA now, and ever-reliable British paper News of the World is declaring her broke. It looks like they’re just rehashing past reports about her well-known extravagant spending and saying she must be out of money considering she’s staying with someone, but I bet they’re right. She’s been known to bleed cash and to beg acquaintances for loans, so it’s not so much of a stretch to declare her “broke,” at least by Hollywood standards.

The thing that I find interesting about this story is the fact that she’s supposedly back in LA after saying she wanted to move to Utah permanently to be with her new snowboarder boyfriend. She could be there to shoot her new tango-themed movie, or she could have bailed on the Utah idea, having soured on the place after purchasing everything worthwhile at the local Nordstroms. There are pictures of her in Utah just Friday, though, so she must have been in LA over the weekend.

We can reveal that after jetting back to Los Angeles this week following her two-month stay at the Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab clinic, Lohan is staying in the guest house of billionaire Tom Gores, executive producer on her recent film I Know Who Killed Me.

A source close to the star revealed: “Lindsay doesn’t have much choice as she is totally broke. The only reason she’s coming back to LA, is to earn some money fast.

“She still thinks nothing of blowing thousands of dollars on a single night of partying.

“And the amount she has wasted putting cocaine up her nose is disgusting. Even she has lost count.”

[From News of The World]

Either way, you have to give Lohan some smidgen of props for staying sober for so long. Maybe she just can’t afford drugs any more, though, and there’s no one left willing to give her any.

Keep sober and stay in your squatter house, Lindsay! It’s cheaper for you and we don’t want to be forced to follow your every move on TMZ.

Lohan is shown wearing a hoodie with dumb sayings on it on 10/12 in Orem, Utah, thanks to Splash News.