We haven’t heard much about Christina Aguilera in months, but she’s back with a new single and is trying to earn some headlines by granting quotable interviews. She’s not my favorite person, but ever since she got married and had an adorable kid she’s not as annoying as I once found her. Aguilera is much like Nicole Richie in that way. Plus she seems to have toned down the bright orange skin, although in most of the recent pictures I’ve seen of her she’s still wearing enough makeup to qualify for a RuPaul reality show.

Anyway Christina is letting us know that she hasn’t lost the thing she’s sold herself on for years, and that she’s still just as sexy as ever. She says that as a mom she’s even sexier because she saw the capabilities of her body. I can buy that she might feel that way, but I know being a mom had the opposite effect on me. I felt like a schlump for years, and I when I finally got back to my “pre-baby” body it wasn’t the same. I still feel attractive, but not like I did before I had a kid. I don’t know why I’m analyzing her throwaway comments. It’s not like she’s earnestly sharing something deep about herself.

Also Christina responded to criticism that she’s “copying” Lady Gaga by saying she just doesn’t pay that much mind. In January, 2009 Aguilera was accused of copying Gaga, to which she responded with a very bitchy comment claiming she didn’t know Gaga and wasn’t sure whether she was a man or a woman. Gaga graciously responded by saying the comparison was flattering and that she should thank Aguilera for giving her press. Now Aguilera is beyond all that, she says, but she’s not above talking about what a sex bomb she is. If you can’t sell yourself as quirky, you may as well go “back to basics”:

“I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I think I’m even a more sexual Christina,” the singer, who wed husband Jordan Bratman four years ago, told the Q100 Bert Show in Atlanta Tuesday morning.

“That’s part of the change of having a child for me — seeing your body do these things you never thought possible,” adds Aguilera, who will release her album, Bionic, on June 8 and kick off a world tour to promote it. “When you have a baby, you go through a period where your body is not your own. It becomes for your child and that’s it. Once you bounce back from that and kind of get your body back… I feel better than ever. It’s a great feeling.”

Aguilera, 29, says she’s a “very sexual person” and she didn’t want to lose that after becoming a mother. Indeed, she and Bratman still have “Naked Sundays.”

“I think it’s important that he sees mommy not be ashamed for her sexuality,” she says. “I mean, he’s two. We’re art collectors, there are a lot of female nudes around the house. Max will be growing up in a house where it’s just the norm… It’s only weird when you shame it….”

Max may not be an only child forever.

When asked if she wants more children, Aguilera says, “I would love that one day, but not right now. Eventually, I would like to give Max a brother or a sister, but right now, Bionic is the baby.”

Aguilera also addressed online criticism that she’s copying Lady Gaga with her new album.

“It just comes with the territory. That, in particular, is not even worth wasting the breath to comment on,” she sniped. “I’ve been around for over a decade and I think my work speaks for myself.”

If she were younger, “I would have engaged, been a little upset,” she says. But now? “There’s a bigger picture out there. I’ve got my son, my family, my work.”

[From US Weekly]

Aguilera has talked about the “naked Sundays” thing for years. I agree that we shouldn’t be ashamed to be naked around our kids, but it sounds so deliberate and calculated the way she explains it. Oooh – they’re naked every Sunday! Just don’t be ashamed when you’re occasionally naked and act like it’s not a big deal and your kid won’t see it as one, either. Compare how Heidi Klum explains nudity as natural vs. Aguilera acting like it’s major but she does it anyway.

Here’s a link to Christina’s new single, “Not Myself Tonight,” off her new album Bionic, which is out in June. It does sound like Gaga, but a lot of music sounds like this lately.

This is so cute! Last night was the return of Glee – that I didn’t watch because, you know, LOST is busy mind-f-cking me. So I can’t speak to the big splashy return, but the Glee people did release a preview of next week’s episode, the one where they’re doing Madonna songs. The preview: Jane Lynch’s character Sue Sylvester did a shot-by-shot remake of one of Madonna’s best videos, “Vogue”. Except Jane Lynch didn’t want to show too much skin, so her black pansuit was buttoned all the way up. Which kind of makes it funnier. Plus, some of the song lines were changed – “Will Shuester, I hate you.”

You know what I love? I’ll just make a list:

1. Jane Lynch is gorgeous! She’s so funny, so I don’t think I’ve ever realized how beautiful she is.

2. Jane Lynch is a great dancer. She’s good enough to do the dance moves and be silly and funny. Something Madonna never managed. Ever.

3. I love this era of Madge. Good choice for Jane Lynch.

4. Jane looks great in the corset at the end of the video!

That’s it. It’s just a fun, silly video to enjoy. I’ve watched this thing three times already.

By the way, Jane is about to marry her longtime girlfriend, and she’s being wonderfully open about their wedding plans as she promotes Glee. Have we turned a corner on mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians? Hopefully.

Thanks to Dlisted for the heads up on this monstrosity. Below is a recording that will send chills down your spine. Apparently, someone at Jennifer Lopez’s old studio Epic released an un-engineered, un-bedazzled clip of Jennifer Lopez’s real singing voice as she tries to record “Enough is Enough” for her last album. Seriously, this is not good:

Now, I don’t pretend I have the best singing voice ever. My singing voice isn’t even moderately “good”. I can’t “hold a tune” or “sing in key”. But I don’t pass myself off as a singer, either. I just don’t understand how someone with this voice can honestly go into a recording studio and try to tell people, “No really, I’m a singer.” I just played this at normal volume, and my dog started crying, no joke. He came to check on me and nuzzled me, which is puppy-speak for “Please make the evil stop.”

This comes at a very bad time for Jennifer – allegedly, she just signed on to a new contract at Def Jam, but there are some rumors that everything isn’t quite signed, sealed and delivered. Many music industry sources are openly questioning Def Jam and Lopez:

Jennifer Lopez has a new home at Def Jam according to her longtime manager, Benny Medina. While the deal is good news for the entertainer, sources are questioning the deal and just why Def Jam would sign a Lopez said to be “past her prime”.

“People are saying that Jennifer is past her prime and her best work is behind her,” a source told the NY Daily News this week.

Adding fuel to those claims is Lopez’s recent track record with music. Namely, the last two singles “Fresh Out The Oven” and “Louboutins,” which struggled on the charts (although “Louboutins” has topped the Dance/Club play chart).

Nonetheless insiders say “At this point, she just isn’t going to have another “Waiting For Tonight”…. signing with a new label isn’t going to change that.”

Lopez is also facing heat from music fans thanks to audio leaked by an engineer. That audio, first reported Wednesday, features Lopez trying to record Barbra Streisand’s “Enough Is Enough” — with less than stellar results.

Lopez parted ways with Epic earlier this year. It is unclear when she will make her Def Jam debut.

[From Singers Room]

Ouch. Under other circumstances, this might be the point where I defended Jennifer and claimed that if Def Jam wanted to sign her, they should, and that Jennifer is still capable of being a profitable recording artist. But after listening to that hauntingly bad singing, I’m hoping that Def Jam pulls the plug on Jennifer’s singing dreams.

If this story is true, I might just start turning on the radio again. Miley Cyrus, in yet another interesting interview, told a reporter on the red carpet of her new movie premiere that she is getting out of the music industry for good after her June album is released. Apparently, the teen millionaire is disillusioned with music and wants to focus on being a serious actress. And chewing gum, of course.

Miley Cyrus isn’t joking around when she says it’s time for her to move on from the music biz.

She recently revealed on The View that she’s become a bit disheartened because “the music industry isn’t as positive as I’d like it to be.”

She didn’t backtrack at all when I caught up with her last night at the Hollywood premiere of The Last Song…

“I’ve got a record coming out in June and then I’m done,” she said. “I just want to work in movies. That’s what I like and that’s what I want to be doing.”

The Last Song, opening March 31, is Cyrus’ first major acting project outside of Hannah Montana.

Not only does the flick’s director, Julie Anne Robinson, have high hopes for Cyrus, but so does her costar and real-life beau Liam Hemsworth. He says he wasn’t surprised when Cyrus held her own during the movie’s more dramatic scenes.

“You know how she feels when she’s feeling down and you know how she feels when she’s feeling up,” he said. “She’s a very expressive person and that works on the screen. It really does, and she’s really good.”

[From E!Online]

So, there you have it. Miley fancies herself as an actress now. Good for her, I guess, to know what she wants have be able to go for it. But ff she thinks the music industry is negative, wait until the reviews come out for this stinker of a movie she’s in! I could not even sit through the trailer. It looks like a maudlin, cliche, predictable piece of crap that should have gone straight to Lifetime. But you know, at this point, it doesn’t really matter what this child does, she makes a ton of dough regardless of the quality of it, so she can pretty much write her own ticket at this point. So get ready to see a lot more Miley on the big screen.

Miley and Liam Hemsworth are shown at the premiere of The Last Song on 3/25/10. They’re also shown out riding their bikes on 3/26. Miley got annoyed at a paparazzo and is seen giving him a talking-to. Credit: WENN.com

First off, I kind of like this song. I mean, it’s catchy. It’s no “Bad Romance” but it’s good, and I kind of like Beyonce and Lady Gaga together. They make some kind of strange sense. But the video? I can only imagine that this is what Johnny Weir’s prison fantasies look like. And the sketchy Thelma & Louise reference? Gah. Gawker had an epic (and epically NSFW) summary of how this music video was Gaga’s answer to the “Does she have a hermaphrodite bulge or what already?” questions.

Beyond that, I just have to talk about one thing I was recently thinking about re: Gaga. Whoever does her makeup needs to go back to eye makeup school. Because this junk is ridiculous. It’s one thing to do your makeup like a drag queen would. It’s quite another to have your makeup by so over-the-top that even drag queens are like “Girl, you need to take it down a notch!”

Oh, and I love the soda cans rolled up in Gaga’s hair. That cracked me up.

Last Friday, I put this initial story in the links, just because I didn’t really think it was newsworthy enough for its own post. I mean, yeah, the Cyrus family wouldn’t know what was appropriate if it hit them on the head. That’s not breaking news. Basically, the story is that not only did Miley Cyrus record a cover of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” with Bret Michaels, she and Bret did this faux-duet of his song “Nothin’ to Lose”. Sample lyrics from the song? “We both know better than this/Still we can’t resist/Slowly get undressed.” Yeah. Oh, and apparently Miley’s mom Tish was there while they recorded – and Tish and Bret might have something going on too. Anyway, Bret came out a few days ago to do damage control on the whole “this is way inappropriate” vibe.

Bret Michaels says he has nothin’ to apologize for about “Nothin’ to Lose,” his new song featuring Miley Cyrus. In the country-rock ballad that went online Thursday, Cyrus, 17, harmonizes as Michaels, 46, croons about a bad romance: “We both know better than this/Still we can’t resist/Slowly get undressed.” In the sensual chorus, they sing together: “Won’t you fall down on me/So close I can feel you breathe.”

In an exclusive interview Friday, Michaels tells UsMagazine.com he’s gotten “75 texts” about the scandal that blazed the web late Thursday. “I was like, ‘What the f*ck is going on?’ Everyone’s going nuts!”

“It’s blown out of proportion,” insists the father of two girls (Raine, 9, and Jorja, 4).
The Rock of Love star and Poison frontman explains that he wrote the song “a couple years ago,” and had recorded it solo without Cyrus.

But the Hannah Montana star wanted to remake his gritty classic “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” for her next album, with the elder rocker as her producer. When the teen phenom recorded “Rose” in a New York studio with her mother Tisch standing by, Michaels played them “Nothin’ to Lose” during a break.

“[Miley's] like, ‘This is an incredible song, it’s beautiful. Maybe I could some stuff to it, some harmonies,’” Michaels recounts. “I said, ‘That’d be killer!’”

The next thing they knew, the unlikely pair were recording “Nothin’” together. “She was excited that she didn’t have to follow any rules,” he says of their impromptu jam session.
What about, you know, that “slowly get undressed” stuff? “I never sat down and said, ‘Look at the content. Look at the lyrical content,’” Michaels admits.

In his defense, he adds that “the part where it says she slowly gets undressed, Miley says, ‘Yeah she does.’ It has no reference to her and I. It’s not even a duet.” He says he got “very positive comments” (no one advised him against it) on the finished track, which will appear on his solo album Custom Built, out in late May.

“As God is my witness, there is nothing I have to be defensive about,” he says. “I’m a good Dad. I just thought it was a beautiful song.”

He adds that he and Cyrus are mutual fans of each other. “Her first concert ever was Poison. Now I take my kids and they go see her play. It’s awesome!”

[From Us Weekly]

Am I totally crazy for understanding Bret’s point? I can actually see how, in his mind, there was absolutely nothing wrong or inappropriate with he and Miley singing this song. And considering I have some kind of crazy affection for Bret, I’m willing to give him a pass. I mean, it’s not like Miley is his kid. He’s not responsible for deciding what is and is not appropriate for Miley. And obviously, Tish didn’t think there was anything wrong. Why would she? She (and The Mullet) have absolutely no “appropriateness barometer”.

Speaking of, here is Miley with her boyfriend Liam over the weekend. As my mother always told me, “If those jeans get any tighter, I’ll be able to see your vagina.”

Miley and her boyfriend Liam in LA on February 28, 2010. Credit: RIV/Fame Pictures.

Jesus, how f-cking gorgeous is Jeremy Renner? I love this kid. He’s not a kid, actually. He’s much older than me. He’s 39 years old, but he’s got that boyish thing going on, and he’s also got that naughty sparkle in his eye. Sigh… he’s my new Gerard Butler. My favorite imaginary boyfriend. He’s been getting pap’d like crazy ever since he got his Oscar nomination for The Hurt Locker, so it’s pretty much every other day that I get to stare at photos of my boyfriend. He’s a pretty snazzy dresser too. And he loves hanging out with his male buddies at LA hot spots. And you know what that means… the gay rumors are coming! He should take them as a compliment. As soon as people start calling you “gay” you’ve arrived.

Anyway, there are a couple of little pieces of news about Jeremy. Apparently, Jeremy has been vocal about his desire to play Kurt Cobain in a potential biopic about Nirvana, and the casting rumors are growing. Nothing seems to be solid, but it wouldn’t be the worst casting choice, actually. Jeremy has a lovely voice, and he’s quite musical, as evidenced by his recent appearance on The View, where he performed a little song he wrote at the piano. Just to let you know, this killed my attraction for him temporarily, and it will likely reinforce whatever gay rumors there are about him:

See? It’s not that he’s a bad singer or anything, he just doesn’t turn me on when he’s at the piano. Anyway, he’s not going to win the Oscar, but his career should have a significant boost with the nomination, and hopefully he’ll become a household name. Because I enjoy seeing photos of him, and I’d like to see him in more movies – just make him avoid the piano, please.

Jeremy Renner in LA on February 24, 2010. Credit: WENN.

There are two slightly funny stories about Jesus Luz in the Murdoch-owned papers today. The first is a little piece from Page Six about Jesus being a weeper. Apparently, when Jesus was deejaying in Rio de Janeiro, someone heckled Jesus to his face. Jesus then cried like a little girl! Chuckle.

Jesus Luz had a bad night in Rio on Sunday. Madonna’s boy toy was deejaying at a party for the best samba schools that participated in Carnival when a guest came up and threw beer in his face, saying, “Get out of here, I don’t wanna see your face here anymore!”

As reported by iG Gente magazine, Luz “went to a corner and started to cry.” He only finished the gig when four bodyguards were assigned to flank him.

But Luz might have the last laugh — he just signed with Warner Music, Madge’s label, and will release his first record in April.

[From Page Six]

Ah, yes. Jesus signed a record deal. Did you know that deejays get their own recording contracts? They do. If they’re dating Madge, and Madge pulls crazy strings. Seriously, The Sun claims that Madge had to agree to some pretty hardcore terms to secure Jesus’ contract – and even then, she was only able to get him a two-single deal:

MADONNA’s toyboy JESUS LUZ has signed a record deal – and will release a single by the summer. I’d like to say he managed to secure the contract all on his own thanks to his amazing talents. But the almighty herself put in more than a word.

The Queen Of Pop used all her might and muscle to get the model – who flaunted his own muscle on the beach in Rio de Janeiro yesterday – signed up by her former label Warners.

The Brazilian’s first single We Came From Light will be issued in the first half of May. Protective Madge had to make some uncharacteristic concessions to secure its release.

She rarely gives permission for any of her iconic back catalogue to be used in adverts. But in order to get execs to sign up her fella, she relented and classics Vogue and Like A Prayer have been licensed for a major advertising campaign Stateside.

A source said: “Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can. She holds a lot of sway at Warners, where she had a deal until very recently. But getting him on the books wasn’t completely plain-sailing. There was a little give and take between her and execs, but a compromise was eventually settled upon.”

Jesus has a two-single deal, with the label allowed first refusal on an album as well. An initial version of the club track featured vocals from her Madgesty herself, but that’s unlikely to get a full release. It’s more likely to feature as a B-side or on a remix.

Generous Madonna has also been covering all of Jesus’s expenses, including his hefty studio costs. And she been calling on other old pals, including legendary remixer VICTOR CALDERONE. The dance music heavyweight has had a long association with Madonna, retooling much of her back catalogue, such as Frozen and American Pie. And he’s been busy toying around with Jesus’s tracks.

The source added: “Madonna really wants Jesus’s career to take off. She’s been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can. She’s worked with Victor for a very long time and he understands just what she likes. Having him rejig Jesus’s tracks will give them a cool cachet which is essential to building a clubland buzz.”

Friends in high places, eh?

[From The Sun]

If this is true (big if), then it shows that Madge really does A) Care for Jesus or B) Want him to get a real job. Because Madge hates to give up anything. She hates to spend money, she hates to give up her musical rights, she hates to be in a position of weakness (in business). So which is it? Does Madge love her Jesus, or was she just tired of him sitting around the house? My opinion: she knows that she and Jesus aren’t going to be forever, so she wants to ensure that he’s set up professionally whenever she does dump him. She takes care of her boy-toys!

Jesus and Madonna in Brazil on February 13 & 14, 2010. Credit: INFphoto.com and Bauer-Griffin.

Jennifer Lopez has been dropped by her record label, Sony Universal. Her camp would have you believe that her contract ran out and both sides opted not to renew. This means that her upcoming album, Love, with such gems as Louboutins and Fresh Out The Oven, does not yet have a distributor. It looks like that half-assed attempt to re-brand herself as “Lola” and cling to her past in skin tight catsuits couldn’t make up for her lousy music.

“Jennifer had a wonderful relationship with the Sony Music Group, and they have shared many successes together, but the time was right to make a change that best serves the direction of her career as an actress and recording artist, she is grateful and appreciative to everyone at Sony for all that they accomplished together,” Lopez’s manager, Benny Medina, said in a statement Monday.

But this also means that Lopez’s upcoming seventh studio album is now homeless, so we must ask, What about Love?

The album was due out in April but, according to Deadline Hollywood, which first reported the Epic-Lopez split, Love? isn’t finished yet and might never be completed.

Of course, one theory is that Sony dropped Lopez because the creative well had run dry, but the official word remains that her contract had simply expired and the parties amicably opted not to renew.

We expect she’ll be back on her Louboutins in no time, however. J.Lo’s camp is already said to be negotiating a deal with another label, and the songstress will pull double duty on Saturday Night Live this weekend as both host and musical guest.

[From E! Online]

Lopez always has her mediocre romcom career to fall back on. I’m not a fan at all, but I do have to grudgingly admit that she’s not the worst actress. She’s funny and I thought she was passable in that Angel Eyes movie and in the one with Matthew McConaughey where she plays The Wedding Planner who inevitably gets the guy. Lopez has The Backup Plan coming out on April 23. (Her fertility comedy trumps by Jennifer Aniston’s The Baster, a romcom with a similar plot, which isn’t out in August.) I can’t wait to see what Lopez wears on the red carpet. It’s bound to be low cut, tight, and way too young for her. Lopez is also working on two more films, according to IMDB. Will she finally get the Oscar she thinks she deserves?

Uh, I think I’m getting a yeast infection just from looking at these photos of Jennifer Lopez performing at the 2010 San Remo Italian Music Festival on Friday. Yes, she’s wearing a leather catsuit (that she looks like she’s about to bust out of). True, this leather catsuit isn’t as bad as the nearly-nude, saggy-butt one she wore on New Year’s Eve. But it still kind of sucks. At some point, I do have to ask La Lopez: why the catsuits? Can’t you find a cute outfit that isn’t a onesie (that won‘t give you a yeast infection)?

If you thought the outfit was the worst part, you’re mistaken. There’s video of Jennifer performing a medley of her songs, and it’s… rough. I suppose I could give Jennifer credit for attempting to sing live. But she should know by now that she’s not the best live singer, and that hearing her sing live isn’t why people come. Here’s the video below, and a summary by the NYDN:

J.Lo’s cat-suit look apparently has nine lives, or at least two.

After stalking into the new year in a sparkly body-hugging cat-suit, Jennifer Lopez’s booty set tongues wagging again Friday night – this time in a skin tight black leather suit accessorized with studs and laces.

The curvy 41-year-old singer, who was performing on the fourth night of the 2010 San Remo Italian Music Festival, seems to have maintained her stamina and her curves since the New Year.

Lopez sang a medley of her major hits: “Jenny from the Block,” “Waiting for Tonight,” “Love Don’t Cost a Thing,” “Get Right” and “Lets Get Loud.”

No doubt constricted by the tight leather, she didn’t perform highly complicated moves, settling for a lot of hip swiveling and stomping. But that was probably enough for the male population.

The highlight of the performance had Lopez and her back-up dancers twirling canes for a Charlie Chaplin-esque number.

The mother of two took to the stage twice for the festival’s 60th anniversary. During her second act she wore gold tasseled military regalia and sang “What Is Love?” – a single from her new album, “Love?”

At the end of the show, Lopez smiled under a sea of confetti and shouted breathlessly, “You didn’t know I could do that did you?”

[From The New York Daily News]

“You didn’t know I could do that did you?” Uh… yes, we did know that you couldn’t sing live and dance in time all while wearing a yeasty leather catsuit. But, seriously, I love that Jennifer tried. I give her credit for trying. She’s funny when she tries. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again: I am not a Jennifer Lopez hater. I kind of like her and all of her diva antics. I get enjoyment from how she’s so full of herself and how she thinks we’ve all been sitting around, praying for her musical/dancing/acting/fashion comeback. And in some ways, we have been sitting around waiting for it. Because Jennifer is usually newsworthy. Even if it’s the bad kind of newsworthy.

Jennifer Lopez performing in Italy on February 19, 2010. Credit: WENN & Getty.