These are some new photos of Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend/gentleman-walker Matt Rutler leaving Spago on Friday night in LA. Presumably, Christina was celebrating her latest music video and single, which I’ll get to in a moment. Shall we talk about her hair/extensions/dye job? It’s all so terrible. It’s not even a “Well, she’s young and she’s cute, she sort of pulls it off” kind of thing. She just seems… like she’s trying too hard? Or maybe not hard enough? Because she’s too busy drinking? And poor Matt’s face is all, “Drunk girl is drunk. Ugh.”

So, like I said, Christina was celebrating her new music video and single for “Your Body” (also called “F—k Your Body”). We already heard the single two weeks ago, as it was released to a collective “Eh, it’s not horrible but it’s not great either.” The video was just released this week and… OH NO.

You know how throughout Christina’s career, people always said she was derivative of whoever else was more popular than her at the time? When she first came on the scene, everyone compared her to Britney. Then she did the “dirty” thing and I guess that wasn’t blatantly derivative (although with her dreads and piercings, she reminded me of Ani DiFranco). Then she did a derivative Lady Gaga (which sucked) and now… it feels like this video is derivative of a few videos Beyonce did, right? They weren’t Beyonce’s most popular videos or anything, but I remember one a few years ago that was remarkably similar in styling and vibe – like, glitzy/trashy. It also feels like Beyonce and Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video a bit too. There’s a dash of Ke$ha in there too, which is interesting.

As for everything else… horrible makeup. Horrible extensions. Horrible clothes. And she looks really drunk too. And now we know that Christina Aguilera has sex in the gas station bathrooms. Good to know.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Pacific Coast News.

I’m not sure why I missed writing about this last week – maybe it’s because Christina Aguilera kind of exhausts me these days. It’s not like she’s “crazy” in a really obvious, harmful way – although I do think she’s kind of crazy. Mostly I just think she’s a narcissist with a drinking problem… and that’s a dime a dozen, generally speaking. That’s my point: Christina isn’t really setting the world on fire with her individuality these days. The only hint of an Un-homogenized X-tina is when she fails, like when she flubs the National Anthem or maybe pees on herself a little while singing at a funeral.

Anyway, Christina is trying to get her music career back on track by using the Jennifer Lopez Comeback Career Path. Christina is now a judge on a popular singing-competition show, and she uses The Voice as a promotional tool for her (faltering) music career. Christina is putting out a new album called Lotus, and she’s already released the first single, “Your Body”. The cover art for the single is the header pic – it’s not good. It’s not awful or anything, but it just feels kind of boring and dated. Like it’s actually Britney Spears circa 2004 or something. Should I even make fun of Christina’s over-the-top weave and the excessive Photoshopping of her body? Eh.

As for the single… it’s not horrible either. It’s like she’s aiming to be inoffensive, I guess. It sounds like a pretty standard pop/dance track, like the song Madonna SHOULD have done for her last album:

Not bad. Not great. I wonder if she wrote it? I can’t find out. Christina described her new album like this: “Album title: Lotus. Representing an unbreakable flower that survives under the hardest conditions and still thrives. There will be a ‘Lotus’ intro to set the tone for the whole record. Conceptually I didn’t target one particular sound/genre. Self expression and freedom (are album themes). The album represents a rebirth for me. There are some beautiful personal ballads on this album. I wouldn’t do a record without them. I’ve been through a lot since the release of my last album, being on (‘The Voice’), having had a divorce. This is all sort of a free rebirth for me.” Blah. She even sounds like J.Lo.

Single cover image courtesy of Christina’s Twitter, additional photos courtesy of WENN.

At last night’s VMAs we had a lot of edgier looks, particularly Miley Cyrus, whose bleach blonde shaved side mohawk is being compared to Pink’s. (Kaiser will cover Pink shortly. You know that Pink has had that style for much longer than Miley.) Miley actually introduced Pink’s performance, along with Mac Miller, so it doesn’t seem like there are any hard feelings there. Pink seems like she’s cool with everyone, I doubt she minds.

In contrast to her hair, which is too much in my opinion, Miley wore a deep-cut black Emilio Pucci gown with sheer diagonal panels. It was a gothic but modern looking dress and I thought it was striking and went very well with her new image. (A better view of the dress is here.) She even showed some cleavage. For Miley, the girl who “forgets” to wear pants or a bra on a regular basis, this was not a low-cut or revealing dress. We’re not seeing any nipple here. She should have worn her hair down, though, this is too Bride of Frankenstein. Pink pretty much owns that style.

MSN reminds us that this is what Miley looked like just a year ago. (The photo below is from April, 2011.) She’s gone through some big changes this year. At least her tattoos are relatively minor and low-key. As someone who went through a similar goth period, I’m thinking she’s experimenting in a way that is typical and normal, especially considering her career.

Emma Watson’s colorful Peter Pilotto number was killer, in my opinion. It’s very daring but somehow it works on her and her amazing figure. This reminds me of a similar little Brood dress she wore, with black piping and very modern lines, earlier this year. I love her shoes too. Redcarpet-Fashion Awards identifies them as Tom Ford, and I feel like I’ve seen them on other celebrity feet this season. They go well with her dress while remaining understated and not too matchy.

Emma is seen with her Perks of Being a Wallflower costar, Ezra Miller. They look really cozy but we haven’t heard rumors about them so I doubt they’re more than friends. (Update: Ezra came out as gay last month.) These two introduced Green Day’s performance together. Their film is out on September 21 and it looks really good. I just re-watched the trailer and it reminds me of the John Hughes movies of my youth. I want to see it!

Photo credit: WENN and FameFlynet

This is the music video for Madonna’s latest single, “Turn Up The Radio”. First of all, the song isn’t all that awesome, or all that bad either. It’s just kind of meh. Maybe I’m not the best judge (it’s true), but I kind of liked the song (and the video) for “Girl Gone Wild” and I absolutely loathed everything about “Give Me All Your Luv”. That song was crap, and the video was Madge trying to do… like, Katy Perry or something. Now, although I’m meh on the song, I actually think this music video is decent. Photographer-turned-video-director Tom Munro directed Madonna in a Cadillac in Italy – there are moments that are obviously “borrowed” from Federico Fellini, but that not bad. I’d rather see Madonna in the back of a Cadillac lip syncing her song as opposed to whatever the hell “Give Me All Your Luv” was.

What did the chauffeur say at the end? Can someone translate?

I have a question: when did Madonna’s voice get so high-pitched? Is it just me or is her voice a lot higher than it used to be? She never really had a “strong” voice or anything, but it feels like she’s singing through helium here.

Brahim is in here somewhere… I didn’t feel like trying to figure out which one he was. Madonna surrounded herself with several dudes who all look Brahim-ish.

Last thing – wear your seatbelts, y’all. Madge is lucky she didn’t fall out of the back of this car.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Carrie Underwood was one of the big names at The Billboard Awards last night, and she brought her husband with her! I always have a hard time finding photos of Carrie with her husband, hockey player Mike Fisher. The last event photos I can find of the two of them together are from the Grammy Awards in 2010, so this is somewhat of a big deal for them to attend together and pose on the red carpet. They’re such a good looking couple.

In terms of her poofy Oscar de la Renta dress, I like it in spite of myself. With all that tulle and frou-frou I would expect to hate it, but my guy reaction is positive. Somehow, this dress is huge, feminine and over the top but manages to pull it off with a little whimsy. I think the tight cleavage-hiding bodice and the modern, controlled messiness of the skirt keep it from being too girly. Carrie’s too-long curls and fake-looking extensions are too much with this look, though. I was thinking that before I saw that our friends at Red Carpet Fashion Awards come to the same conclusion. This giant dress calls for a sleeker ‘do to balance out the cake-topper tulle skirt. In video of her performance, below, her hair looks even more ridiculous in motion. Her frosty makeup is similarly overdone, but I guess she’s on stage and has an excuse for overdoing it.

Carrie wasn’t nominated in any categories last night, which I was surprised to learn. She did perform “Blown Away” during the ceremony. She changed into a red flowing gown for her performance. I like that she’s keeping covered up. Normally I would speculate about that, but she’s made it clear that she and her husband aren’t ready for babies. Here’s her performance:

photo credit: Fame and WENN

Video is below
Last night’s Billboard Awards paid tribute to the late Whitney Houston with performances of her hits by John Legend and Jordin Sparks. Legend did a soulful, if somewhat shaky, version of “The Greatest Love of All” while Sparks belted out “I Will Always Love You.” (Video is below.) The camera panned to Whitney’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, in the audience several times and she was understandably crying.

Whitney was posthumously awarded the Billboard Millennium Award, which Bobbi accepted on her behalf. She was accompanied on stage by her aunt, Whitney’s sister in law, Pat Houston. Bobbi was very well spoken and composed on stage. She did seem a little buzzed to me, but maybe she was just overwhelmed in the moment. She’s gone through so much these past three months. Here’s a little more, thanks to Radar Online.

Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina made a rare public appearance Sunday night at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas to take part in an emotional tribute to her late mother…

John Legend and Jordin Sparks, who plays Houston’s daughter in her final film, Sparkle, performed her hits, with Legend singing the Greatest Love of All, while Sparks amazed with her rendition of I Will Always Love You.

Following the moving memorials, the late singer’s sister-in-law Pat Houston and daughter Bobbi Kristina accepted the Billboard Millennium Award on Whitney’s behalf.

Pat said, “This is truly an honor. We thank you, Billboard; we thank you, Whoopi, Jordin; we love you, John. But tonight, the one person that should be accepting this award is the one person that Whitney loved most,” ushering in Bobbi Kristina.

Bobbi Kristina said she “just really want to say thank you to everyone who supported us through it all.

“Not just when it was good, but when it was bad too,” she said. “Thank you so much for showing that much love, ’cause she deserved it. There will never be another one, ever. I thank you so much.”

[From Radar Online]

I can’t imagine losing my mom when I was just 18. (Bobbi Kristina turned 19 in March.) My grandmother died when I was in my early 20s and I was devastated. It’s got to be even harder when your mom is famous and you’ve got to get dressed up, go out to an event and make a speech on her behalf. Krissi did an amazing job, though.

Bobbi Kristina’s boyfriend, 22 year-old Nick Gordon, was next to her in the audience. Like Krissi, he was wearing a pin with Whitney’s photo on it. Nick walked Krissi up on stage and gave her a kiss before she went on. It was sweet, and it made me worry less about the stories that he’s taking advantage of her. There was a lot of controversy when Krissi and Nick first got together, as Nick was raised by Whitney and Krissi used to consider him her “adopted brother.” The fact that he looks so supportive of her makes me think differently about their situation.

Here’s video of the tribute to Whitney. Kriss comes on at about 6:00.

I cannot carry a tune to save my life. Sometimes I’ll sing at a rare church service or event (I don’t attend regularly), but I try and make it so my voice blends in with everyone else’s if possible. That’s a preface to this story about Samantha Ronson completely failing to sing her own song on Regis & Kelly yesterday. She reminds me of those clueless tuneless people that American Idol lets sing in front of the judging panel during the tryouts. I always wonder how those kids got to that point. Once in a while you get the stunt singers, but most of them really believe they can sing. They wait in line for a couple of days and sit around for hours just for a chance to sing one song that they butcher. Samantha Ronson’s lack of self awareness kind of rivals the lengths those bad singers go to. As someone who can’t sing either, I marvel at how they delude themselves into thinking they sound great.

In case you forgot who this woman is, she’s a celebrity DJ and she used to date Lindsay Lohan. After their breakup, Lindsay stalked Sam and even moved into the house next to her for a while, until Lindsay inevitably started staying at the Chateau Marmont again once she came onto a little money. (Or once Terry Richardson started letting her stay at his suite there for free. It’s hard to keep track of the cracken’s whereabouts.) Sam is also the sister of accomplished music producer and musician Mark Ronson, who has worked with Amy Winehouse, Adele, Christina Aguilera and Lily Allen. So what I’m saying is that she should know that she can’t freaking sing!

There are plenty of singers who rely on autotune and editing, and don’t sound that polished live. I’m thinking of Katy Perry, Rihanna and of course Lana Del Rey’s turn on Saturday Night Live. Most of those people can belt out a song when they’re relaxed and not running around. They have some underlying talent is what I’m saying. Samro is someone who should think twice before taking the mic at a karaoke bar.

Also, my brother is a musician and has DJed. I want to defend DJs a little because a lot of people use the old “slip in a CD” cliche. Good DJs do much more than that. They know a ton of music and have an extensive collection, they get a feel for the crowd, and they play the right song at the right time to create a mood. At least decent DJs do that, just as good singers can actually sing.

Samantha is shown singing “Summer of Sam” with her band “The Undertakers” above. This begs the obvious “bury it already” quips. Even her backup singer can’t sing. I love how Kelly gets all fake enthusiastic and overcompensates for how bad it is.

Why is Sam singing, when she could simply be doing some kind of mixing with her own pre-recorded voice? Also, this reminds me of Lindsay Lohan’s music. Lindsay actually had some semi-decent songs in the late ‘aughts. (If you like that type of synth pop.) There was Bossy in 2008, Confessions of a Broken Heart in 2006 and Over in 2004. I couldn’t find videos of Lohan singing live though, she wisely lip-synced during her appearances. Lindsay has pissed away several different careers.

Video via Dlisted

Samantha is shown on 3-13-12 and in a recent Twitpic by her sister, fashion designer Charlotte. Credit: WENN.com

Sinead O’Connor has gone through a very public battle with bipolar disorder. She married a guy in Vegas this December within a few weeks of knowing him, split up with him a couple weeks later and blogged about it, and then got back together with him and tweeted about it. You can view a more thorough recap in this story from early January. At that time, Sinead asked on Twitter for help finding a psychiatrist in Dublin who could see her right away. She also admitted to The Sun that she had taken an overdose of pills in an apparent suicide attempt. She said “God obviously wants me around – though I can’t think why.” It was sad, and it was easy to witness Sinead’s downward spiral as she was tweeting and blogging incessantly.

In an appearance in February on the Graham Norton show to promote her new album, Sinead admitted that executives at her record company wanted her to keep quiet about her problems. She also said that mental health issues are serious, essentially, and are not something to be mocked. “Everybody [is] treating me like a crazy person and it’s a great source of amusement and entertainment. We live in a world where crazy is a term of abuse, which I frankly think should be outlawed.”

Sinead just cancelled her planned tour entirely. I checked her last personal Twitter account, @vampyahslayah and the website she was using most recently, SineadOConnor.com and both are wiped out. At some point they just got deleted. She has a new website, Sinead-Oconnor.com, through which she posted this news.

With enormous regret I must announce that I have to cancel all touring for the year as am very unwell due to bi polar disorder.
As you all know I had a very serious breakdown between December and March and I had been advised by my doctor not to go on tour but didn’t want to ‘fail’ or let anyone down as the tour was already booked to coincide with album release. So very stupidly I ignored his advice to my great detriment, attempting to be stronger than I actually am.
I apologise sincerely for any difficulties this may cause.

While touring will be cancelled I do hope and plan to appear at the Curtis Mayfield tribute in The Lincoln Centre in July.

[From Sinead-OConnor.com]

I really hope she gets the help that she needs and that she’s able to perform again if that’s what she wants. She still has her incredible voice. In that appearance on the Graham Norton show she performed her new single, “The Wolf is Getting Married,” and I was blown away. Here is video of that performance. Get well soon, Sinead.

Sinead is shown performing in Paris on 4-15-12. Credit: Bruno Autin/WENN.com

These are some photos of Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart out and about yesterday – during the day with her kids, and then in the evening, they went to the opening of Jennifer’s newest restaurant in LA. Why so many photo-ops in one day? Because Jennifer Lopez is super-smart. Her new music video premiered on American Idol last night, and she knew everyone would be talking about this mess, so she gave us some new photos to go along with our stories. She’s very Smart. Mrs. Casper Smart.

So, the video… Us Weekly had a story before the AI premiere about the video possibly containing an “orgy scene” – a source says, “There’s a hot and steamy, sexy scene in the video where J. Lo, Casper and the dancers are on the floor pawing at each other… They’re very scantily clad.” Prepare yourselves. Gird your loins. We’ll watch it together for the first time:

GLITTER LOPEZ! Oh, the first “orgy” part is around the 0:22 second mark. It’s less an orgy and more “a group of scantily clad people sleeping in a pile.” Other random thoughts: Jennifer’s body looks great, especially when she’s wearing a leotard/bustier thing. You know what I mean? I think Jennifer’s default-style is showing her abs, and I like it better when her abdomen is covered up and she’s showing off her legs and cleavage (which is sexier, IMO). Ew… around the 1:30 minute mark, Casper really starts showing up. Casper and Jennifer have very little on-screen chemistry.

2:45 DANCE BREAK!!! I love that Jennifer puts good old-fashioned dance breaks in her videos. She’s so dated. Also: I love that J.Lo makes sure that Casper is behind her at all times. He might be her boyfriend, but she’s not going to let that mofo upstage her EVER. Everything past 3:30-ish is just awful, though. Blah. All in all, the video made me nostalgic for this…

Ben Affleck was then and is still the best of Jennifer’s video costars. I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE HE DID THIS. Controversial opinion: I still f–king love this video.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Kaiser already covered some of the fashion from last night’s ACM Awards, including Taylor Swift and Nicole Kidman, who both looked gorgeous and very well put together. Here we have country queens Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert, who both looked a little too “done,” in my opinion. First off is Carrie in strapless Abed Mahfouz couture. Her look is kind of amazing on one hand, but I’m getting a “prom” vibe from it and I feel like we’ve seen this look from her before. I just looked through some of her recent fashion, and Carrie is actually good at mixing it up. It’s kind of a general default look for the red carpet, which why it seems familiar. I love the sheer shirt though. This is one of the few dresses I’ve seen where a see through skirt actually works. This dress seems to be washing her out when coupled with her very light hair and pink lipstick.

Carrie performed “Good Girl” last night (video is here) and she was nominated for Female Artist, which ended up going to Miranda Lambert. Miranda also took home Album of the Year for “Four the Record.” The Boot points out that Miranda has won ACM awards for three out of four of her albums!

Miranda was in gold scaly formfitting Randi Rahm. I have mixed feelings about this dress. It looks like it’s shedding a little, but there’s something so bold and killer about it. Plus it goes perfectly with her coloring, hair and makeup.

As for the short, tight patchwork number that Miranda changed into for the press room later that night, it was just awful. She should have stuck with the gold dress. Holy cleavage!

Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland was in this pink lace and chiffon gown, which I actually like. Kaiser emailed me that she loves Nettles but finds her style to be off. I think this dress is fine on its own. The color is a little bright but it’s striking and the cutout pattern is so pretty. It’s the bright neon bedazzled belt that just ruins it for me. Nettles wore a similar mismatched neon green belt to an event last month, and a photo of that is below. Also, doesn’t she look a little like Kirsten Dunst?

Photo credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com, and FPA/FameFlynet Pictures