Nick Carter (the Backstreet Boy who dated Paris Hilton briefly) has given People magazine an exclusive insight into his addictions and rehab. Nick was involved in a bar brawl and DUI, but wasn’t concerned about his health until he felt weak and had chest pains last spring during a tour. He saw a doctor to investigate and discovered he had cardiomyopathy from years of drug abuse.

But the night before his results were due back, Carter, 29, fell into a familiar routine: “I went out and just went nuts,” Carter tells PEOPLE in its new issue. “I drank so much and I did a bunch of blow. I felt like I was trying to kill myself – because I didn’t want to get the results.”

The years of abusing his body led to a shocking diagnosis: cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart muscle that, in extreme cases, can require a transplant or lead to sudden death. (It’s the same condition that led to the death of singer Andy Gibb at 30 and killed actor Chris Penn at 40.)

Faced with the realization that his life depended on getting sober, Carter made a decision: “I don’t want to die,” he says. “I don’t want to be that person people read about and think, ‘That’s sad that he couldn’t stop it and killed himself.’”

After a few slips early on – and some blunt talk from his cardiologist – Carter sobered up and got healthy. At 167 lbs., he’s now in the best shape of his life.

People

I really appreciate that Nick got back on the wagon, and then spoke about it honestly. Instead of stumbling back and forth into rehab, using each visit as a publicity stunt, he just got his act together. And he looks really, really good. I now remember exactly what I found so appealing about the Backstreet Boys in high school– it certainly wasn’t their music!

Nick adds that following his parents divorce, he’s swearing off romance. His parents divorced in 2003, and he says it was a contributing factor in his addiction.

He recalls, “There was a ton of fighting. The kids would be thrown into the middle, to choose sides.”

Carter’s relationship with his parents is still strained; he hasn’t spoken to his father for many years - and he admits the struggle has affected his opinions on marriage.
The 29 year old is currently dating a salesgirl he met late last year, but insists “I don’t believe in marriage”.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not keen to settle down and have kids one day.

Carter, who once romanced Paris Hilton, tells People magazine he’d like to have a family of his own “someday, a little ways down the line.”

Contact Music

Maybe dating Paris Hilton also contributed to his lack of faith in relationships.

Nick Carter is shown on 10/28/08 outside MTV’s TRL with A. J. McLean and Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys. Credit: WENN

It’s possible Paris’ love note to Nick was never received, because it was with her stuff in the storage facility or we wouldn’t be able to post it here. She references a gift though, and it looks like she used a little card to tape it on in the middle next to a picture of herself. Given the content of her message and its delivery, I think it’s safe to assume it was a heart locket of some kind and the picture was meant to go in it. (Although now that I look at it again, she said “it looks like you” so who knows what it could be?)

At first I was going to rip on Paris for writing such a cliched love letter, but there’s a touch of vulnerabilty there in her scrawled note with all it’s trite platitudes. Once I read Nick’s letter to Paris I realized their brief relationship was meant to be.

Selected Touching Excerpts from Paris’ Letter to Nick: (excerpts below, also see full linked thumbnail above)

I love you more than anything you mean so very much to me. I care about you so much. And the feeling I get from caring for you is more special to me than words can begin to describe. But let me try to explain this to you. It means that I will never hurt you. It means that you can trust me, that you can tell me what’s wrong. It means that I will try to fix what I can, that I will listen when you need me to hear and that even in your most difficult moment all you have to do is say the word and I will always be there for. [sic] Don’t ever doubt my love for you. All I need is what I have with you.

Nick’s card to Paris: (ful text below, because it’s too good not to publish all of it. Also see full linked thumbnails above)

What is love? This was a word that was so distant to me. Until you! now there are so many meanings to this word, for instance. Love is pure. It is something that only few people ever really experience ever. [Emphasis added] And it flows between the both of us like a river of passion. When im away from you it just gets stronger. And its scary because ive never missed anyone like i miss you. Dont get me wrong if we had it our way we’d always be together and that would be amazing. But since i cant be there always i need you to know how much your love has got me babe! And no matter what trials and tribulations come, i carry you deep within my heart and soul. And everyone see’s that girls, guys, everybody. It radiates off me like a sighn [sic] that says back the fuck up im taken. And I love it. So, you will always be able to be near, far, or over the rainbow and never have to worry about your man hurting you, cause you dont deserve it. Its time for happy times and No More Pain! Lets share the precious moments that we have to-gether in Love and Happy. Forever. So as this card says to my Love

I Love you so, so very much and will not no matter what Happens!

Paris and Nick ended their relationship in July of 2004 after about seven months together. Paris was seen out with bruises around her eye at the time of their breakup, and rumor had it that Nick was responsible, although he denied it.

The NY Post published some of Paris’ letters to Nick in January, 2005. Nick has since dished about Paris in an attempt to drum up publicity for one of his reality shows. He said he cheated on her with Ashlee Simpson after he found out Paris was being unfaithful to him with Chad Michael Murray and wanted to get back at her.

Other crap in the “Nick Carter” folder on the Paris Exposed website included scenes from a TV show he appeared in and a receipt for a $3,5000 piece of jewelry he bought her. Nick said in September of last year that he bought Paris earrings worth $10,000 and needed to get them back.

All photos and letters from ParisExposed.com, where’s there’s plenty more to be had for a reasonable $40 subscription fee.

Backstreet boys singer Nick Carter is gradually revealing details about his old-news relationship with Paris Hilton to make sure he gets as much press as possible for his stupid reality show. At the end of September, he said that he never abused Paris, and that “she tried to destroy me.” He then revealed in October that he cheated on Paris with Ashlee Simpson.

Now he says that Paris was shitty in bed and that she did a lot of pot. Given all the British slang and the distinctly British-educated tone to Aaron’s quotes, it’s safe to say that he may have given this news to the reporting paper, News of the World, but that they filled in the details:

Carter claims to have waited three whole weeks to bang Paris, and then to have been very dissapointed in her performance:

Paris was vain and preoccupied with spending money according to Nick.

None of this is particularly news-worthy, but since it’s negative news about Paris Hilton I figure that it’s worthwhile to print.

Nick’s reality show, “House of Carters,” premieres on British TV on November 7th. Surely that has nothing to do with all this crap he’s now spouting about Paris.

Pictures of Paris at the William Rast fashion show wisely wearing sticky circles over her boobs found at ParisFan.org.