Catherine, Duchess of Eyeliners and Cambridge, has a new job! OMG, WORK. Whatever shall she do?!? It was just announced that Kate, Prince William and Prince Harry are the “Official Ambassadors” for the 2012 Summer Olympics, which is being held in London. This is Kate’s second “job” since marrying Prince William – a few months ago, she also signed on as a patroness to her first charitable organization, which just happened to be her husband’s. Considering how the goalposts keep shifting for Kate to sign on to do some actual royal work, it comes as a surprise that they’re announcing her involvement in the promotion of the Olympics.

Prince William and Kate Middleton have added a new title to their resumes.

The royal newlyweds — along with William’s brother, Harry — have been named Official Ambassadors for the 900 Great Britain and Northern Ireland-based Olympic and Paralympic athletes competing in London’s 2012 Olympic Games.

The trio will join 27 of Britain’s most esteemed Olympians who were also appointed as ambassadors.

“Catherine, Harry and I are honoured to be Ambassadors for Team GB and Paralympics GB. London hosting the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games will inspire so many people — particularly the young — to be the best they can be,” William, 29, told Us Weekly in a statement Thursday.

“We are hugely looking forward to this incredible sporting competition, but are also looking beyond next summer’s Games to the springboard it will provide for future success and excellence,” his statement continued.

The royal couple’s participation in the Olympic ambassador program follows The Queen’s patronage of the British Olympic Association.

[From Us Weekly]

I’m not completely sure what this ambassadorship will entail. Probably lots of photo ops before the games, maybe even some interviews encouraging people to buy tickets and travel to London for the summer, and then once the games begin, William, Kate and Harry will be present at many of the big events. And Kate probably won’t be pregnant, right? She’s going to WAIT.

By the way, I’m actually kind of worried about London for the games. I don’t think the Brits are as disorganized as, say, the Greeks were in 2004, but China in 2008 really set an amazing standard for production value and preparedness. Can London live up to that? The FBI is wondering too – there are LOTS of security concerns.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

During the Olympics, I avoided covering Shaun White not because I don’t care for him, but because talking about Shaun makes me feel dirty. Good-dirty. Because he’s one of those guys that does it for me, and I have no idea why. It’s not like he’s some Jon Hamm-esque heartthrob. It’s not like I look at photos of Shaun and think “I need to get with that.” Even looking at him shirtless on this new issue of Rolling Stone doesn’t really do anything for me sexually. But when I watch him interviewed, or see him break into one of those huge grins after rocking the half-pipe, and I want him. He’s f-cking adorable.

Shaun White has revolutionized snowboarding, won the big gold in Vancouver and lit his snowboard aflame, Hendrix-style, on the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, joining an elite club of athletes to appear on our cover not once, but twice. And as the focused, business savvy White tells it, a lot of his recent success on the half-pipe and off can be attributed to a new addition to his life: “Getting into music has changed my personality and my way of doing things,” he reveals to RS writer Vanessa Grigoriadis. “I”m far more open now.”

White, who began snowboarding at six and went pro at 13, has recently returned to one of his early loves — skateboarding — but he does more shredding on one of his three Les Pauls. Jimi Hendrix, Guns n’ Roses and Led Zeppelin are in regular rotation; “Whole Lotta Love” is his favorite-ever song. “I think guitar is the best thing in the world,” he says. “It’s the only thing where no matter what I do, I can’t do it all myself.”

The 23-year-old White is a bit of a loner, though. He practices his sport solo on a $500,000 private half-pipe Red Bull built him in Colorado and is known to march to the beat of his own disciplined drummer. While fellow competitors gather to watch snowboard or skate videos in their spare time, he opts out (”I’d rather do it, not watch it,” he explains). Olympic teammate Louie Vito even tried to unnerve him a bit by blasting Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the U.S.A.” in the van while White was setting his mental stereo to rock & roll.

For more on White’s unique journey, and to get inside the head of one of the greatest snowboarders in the sport’s young history, read the full story in our new issue, on sale at newsstands today.

[From Rolling Stone]

Jesus, he just has such a cute personality! Did you see him on Oprah last week? Even she was into him – she was flirting with him like crazy. What’s great about Shaun is that he’s totally game for everything, and he has this totally Zen-like approach to his fame and his fans. He never seems to even feel stress, and he never seems to get overwhelmed. It’s not humility, but its not arrogance either. He just seems confident in himself, in a really refreshing, nice way.

Sigh… and of course, he’s a redhead too. Love the gingers.

Oh, and my mom loves him too. She thinks he should cut his hair, but she would still love him for a son-in-law.

Cover and photos from Rolling Stone online, all photographs by Terry Richardson.

Since the world focused on the Men’s Figuring Skating finals last Thursday, it seems like everyone else has gone batsh-t crazy. The US beat Canada in hockey (what?), snowboarders are acting like perverts – with photographic evidence – and the ice dancers decided to release whatever dumb sketchy “we shouldn’t do this because might be considered racist” inhibitions they ever had. Oh, yes. There was blackface (sort of). And Vancouver liquor stores had to close down early to avoid a drunken, maple-soaked riot after Canada lost in hockey. NOOO!!!

First up, Scott Lago (above). Lago won the bronze in men’s snowboarding, and he decided to celebrate at some party with random ladies. During the course of the party, Lago showed the girls his medal… and by that I mean “girls were photographed on their knees with their mouths on Lago’s medal-clad groin” (Photos here). I think he had one girl suck on his medal too. Anyway, the IOC (International Olympic Committee) was not pleased, but they didn’t take away Lago’s medal. Instead, they just made him leave town. It’s like a country-western song.

Now, for the ice dancers. Honestly, there’s so much general weirdness and inappropriateness, it’s hard to choose which of the ice dancers to bash. As Gawker summed up, “last night’s competition saw Russians in loincloths, Germans in grass skirts, and Frenchmen and Scots dressed like cowboys. Though occasionally culturally insensitive, the main offense was to taste.” But there were some over-the-top stand-outs, namely the Russian duo Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin. Apparently, when they first performed at this “Aboriginal” dance at the European competition last month, they actually wore blackface. But I guess someone told them that it was offensive, so they changed that one little thing, and nothing else.

Here’s a photo of Domnina and Shabalin during the European competition in January:

And at the Olympics:

So… yeah. Australian Aboriginal leaders are still pissed.

Meanwhile, Americans Meryl Davis and Charlie White’s Bollywood-inspired dance received rave reviews. Although, to my eyes, it looks like Meryl’s in whiteface, right?

And for the icing on the sketchy cake, it seems gold-medal winning figure skater Evan Lysacek and gymnast Nastia Liukin are dating. He’s straight?!?

It was a glorious night for the Americans Thursday. American Evan Lysacek, who was in second place after Tuesday’s figure skating short program, gave one of the best, most beautiful, and most technically proficient performances of his career, and it won him the gold medal. Lysacek unseated the reigning world champion and Torino figure skating gold medalist Yevgeny Plushenko – even though Plushenko did this crazy “quad” that no other skater could do without falling on his ass. Unfortunaely for Plushenko, his performance just wasn’t that “pretty” in my opinion. He seemed less graceful and more raunchily feline (is that a good description?), rubbing his own body as he “danced” and jerked his way across the ice. Plushenko wasn’t thrilled about being unseated, either, telling reporters after Lyascek won the gold, “If the Olympic champion doesn’t know how to jump a quad, I don’t know. Now it’s not men’s figure skating, now it’s dancing.” Bitch! Here’s more from NBC’s coverage:

Evan Lysacek brought down the champion. Lysacek became the first U.S. man to win the Olympic gold medal since Brian Boitano in 1988, shocking everyone — maybe even himself — by upsetting defending champion Yevgeny Plushenko on Thursday night. Plushenko came out of retirement with the sole purpose of making a little history of his own with a second straight gold medal.

The last to skate. Plushenko held up both index fingers when he finished, as if to say, “Was there ever any question?” As it turned out, yes.

And it wasn’t really that close.

When Plushenko’s scores were posted, someone in the arena screamed, “Evan Lysacek has won the gold!” Backstage, surrounded by longtime coach Frank Carroll and pairs gold medalists Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo, Lysacek threw back his head in disbelief and utter elation.

“I could have stood up there for hours and thought about every moment of training that I was thinking, ‘God, what if one day?”‘ Lysacek said. “And it kept me going and it pushed me.”

The reigning world champion finished with a career-best 257.67, 1.31 ahead of the Russian. Daisuke Takahashi won the bronze, the first Japanese man to win a figure skating medal at the Olympic Games.

Johnny Weir was sixth and U.S. champ Jeremy Abbott rallied to finish ninth.

Lysacek, whose world title was the first by a U.S. man since 1996, looked almost dazed when he heard the first notes of the “Star-Spangled Banner.” But as he watched the flag rise, he broke into a wide grin.

“I saw that American flag go up and I couldn’t believe it was for me,” Lysacek said.

Someone handed him a U.S. flag as he left the medals podium to take on his victory lap, and he waved it a few times before twirling it above his head like a lasso. As he skated around the arena, he held a bouquet aloft in his right hand and clutched his gold medal in the left. No way anyone was going to take this away from him.

Especially not Plushenko.

Much had been made about of Plushenko’s transition scores, the mark given for the steps connecting the elements, as well as his other component scores — think of the old artistic marks. But those didn’t cost him the medal.

Lysacek edged Plushenko on the mark for their technical elements — jumps, spins and footwork. That’s the score where the three-time Olympic medalist and three-time world champion has pretty much made his trademark. And Lysacek won despite not doing a quadruple jump.

“If the Olympic champion doesn’t know how to jump a quad, I don’t know,” Plushenko said. “Now it’s not men’s figure skating, now it’s dancing.”

But Lysacek makes no apologies for what he does — and doesn’t — do. He’s done the quad before, but it puts a lot of stress on the left foot that he broke last year. He originally planned to do the quad here, but after feeling pain in the foot again after last month’s U.S. championships, he decided it wasn’t worth the risk of getting hurt and having to miss the games.

“If it was a jumping competition, they’d give you 10 seconds to go do your best jump. But it’s about 4 minutes and 40 seconds of skating and performing from start to finish,” Lysacek said. “That was my challenge tonight, and I feel like I did quite well.”

The first of the big guns to skate in the last group, Lysacek seemed more workmanlike than usual for the first three minutes of the program. Everything he did was technically perfect. His jumps were done with the control and dependability of a fine Swiss timepiece, and his spins were so well-centered you could see the tight little circle of his tracings clear across the ice.

He didn’t have all his usual flair and charisma, looking more focused on the tasks at hand. But when he landed his last jump, a double axel, Lysacek let loose. His face was so expressive that budding actors should have taken note, and he fixed the judges with a majestic glare during his circular steps. By the time he finished his final spin, fans were roaring their approval.

The last note of his music was still fading when Lysacek pumped his fists and screamed, “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” He clapped his hands and skated to center ice, throwing his arms out wide to the crowd and blowing kisses.

[From NBC Olympic coverage]

While I’m totally thrilled for Evan, and happy to see that bitch Plushenko get taken down a notch (I’m such a child of the Cold War, right?), the biggest disappointment for me (and for many, many fans of the sport) was Johnny Weir. Not to say that Weir didn’t skate his heart out and give one of the most beautiful and proficient performances of his career – he totally did. But Weir was grossly underscored by the judges, both in his short program on Tuesday, and last night.

The only explanation most commentators and writers can come up with is that despite Weir’s technical scores (6.19 points higher than that of bronze medalist Daisuke Takahashi), judges just didn’t like Weir or what he was doing on the ice. Those bitches! Weir was a graceful, fierce bitch to the end, however, standing up and motioning to his fans that they shouldn’t boo the scores, and telling the press afterwards: “As Lady Gaga would say, ‘I have all my role models out there.’ I may not be the most decorated person in the skating world, but judging by the audience reaction … they go on my journeys with me.” I f-cking love this kid.

I always forget how much enjoyment I get from the Winter Olympics until it’s here. And it’s here, bitches! My favorite part? Figure-skating, of course. Isn’t that everyone’s favorite? And this year, all of the figure-skating drama isn’t on the women’s side. Because this year the biggest diva on the America team is Johnny Weir. Weir loves his fur trimmed costumes. He loves bedazzling his face. He loves Lady Gaga. And he doesn’t love anyone who try to dissuade him into taking it down a notch. Case in point? Apparently, some animal-rights/anti-fur activists have made some “threats” against Weir and his fur-trimmed costumes. Weir deems these people “crazy fur people” and bemoans the security threats that made him move into the Olympic village (rather than stay at a hotel), where he has to “rough it” in an Olympic Village room, according to Reuters, “lit with scented candles and decorated with pink bath mats.” Oh, Jesus.

Johnny Weir was forced to abandon his vow to never again live in the confines of a “communal athletes village” after the “crazy fur people” issued death threats against the American fashionista.

The figure skater felt the full wrath of animal rights activists PETA after he wore a fur-trimmed outfit at last month’s U.S. Nationals. The self-styled diva makes no secret of liking his own space and creature comforts but for the second Winter Games in succession, he has been forced to “rough it” — albeit in a room lit with scented candles and decorated with pink bath mats.

“All these crazy fur people definitely changed my mind. Security wise, staying in a hotel would be very difficult,” Weir told reporters after turning up for an 0800 news conference sporting a striking red and white silk scarf looped around his neck and with his nails manicured.

“There have been threats against me. Threats of harming me personally and I didn’t want to get hurt. So I decided to stay in the village and my team has made it as comfortable as possible. I don’t want any outside influences to hurt my chances here. Even though I’m not always comfortable rooming with somebody or being in a communal village sort of situation, it’s what I’ve got to deal with.”

Weir, who plans to join the fashion world once he has hung up his “leather skates made of cow” for good, felt he was unfairly targeted.

“There was a lot of attention put on a tiny piece of fur,” said the 25-year-old, the 2008 world bronze medalist. “While I do understand anti-fur activists views about fur and the fur industry, they aren’t part of my life. One thing that is horrible is when somebody pushes a belief on you like a religion. I was definitely threatened and felt very threatened. People are nuts.”

“I’m an easy person to pick on because I’m very open I like fur and I like things that come from dead animals. It’s easy put your cause against an athlete going to the Olympic Games, it’s good free publicity for these activists. I’m not a huge politician that gets these threats all the time. I mean I’m a figure skater. It’s not normal to receive a threat that really threatens your life. It’s a very scary thing.”

However, while the uproar forced him to ditch the costume and pick a more tame outfit for the Vancouver Olympics, Weir has no plans to change his taste in wearing fur again.

“If I still want to compete, if I felt the costume needed fur, I would wear fur. If all this happens again I get a bodyguard,” he added with a smile.

[From Reuters]

Gawker also pointed out Weir’s comments to the Associated Press, where he admitted that he wouldn’t even get to stay in a private room in the Olympic Village, he would have… (gasp!)… a roommate. He’s staying with figure skater Tanith Belbin, and Weir says they will decorate their room with “our icon, Lady Gaga…She needs to be there watching over us, protecting us.” Lord, I love this boy. As for the end-of-the-day fur debate, Weir is still not apologizing: “There are humans dying everyday. There are thousands if not millions of homeless people in New York City. Look at what just happened in Haiti. I tend to focus my energy, if there is a cause, on humans. While that may be callous and bad of me, it’s my choice.” You know what? I’m not any kind of anti-fur activist, but I do think people should avoid wearing fur whenever possible. But I might make an exception for Johnny. He’s too f-cking fabulous.

Here’s Weir in one of his fur-trimmed costumes, and the video below is Weir’s performance to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”:

This is a poster made in honor of Stephen Colbert, made by artist Shepard Fairey (best known for his Obama “Hope” and “Change” pieces). As many know, Colbert is headed to Vancouver for the Winter Olympics. It all started when the U.S. Speedskating team lost its biggest sponsor, and the team asked Colbert if he could step in. So he did – and he asked “The Colbert Nation” to step up with donations to fund the team’s stay in Vancouver, which they did to the tune of $300,000. So… that means the Speedskating team’s official logo is “The Colbert Nation”, and it will be branded on their suits during the games.

Unfortunately for Canadians, all of this goodwill and patriotism has done a number on Colbert’s anti-Canada smack-talk. Time and time again on The Colbert Report, Colbert has hilariously ridiculed Canada as a whole, Canadians in general, and Vancouver in particular. It’s all in good fun, really. But some Canadians are talking Colbert’s “act” seriously.

While “The Colbert Report” is in repeats next week, the comedian will be in Vancouver for the first week of the Olympics. He’ll be there recording a wealth of material for his show (to air beginning Feb. 22), attending events, conducting interviews and doing a kind of half-show from a stage set up outside the Olympic centre.

“We’ll bring snow because I don’t think Vancouver has any,” he said in an interview, taking a swipe at the city’s sometimes watery precipitation.

Many Canadians have been put off by Colbert’s frequent mockery. As a pseudo pundit, Colbert likes to elevate the U.S. above all other countries, making the Olympics – which he calls a combination “talent popularity-contest war” – prime fodder for parodic patriotism.

He has called Canadians “syrup-suckers,” “Saskatche-whiners,” and said Canadian history is a euphemism for a sex act so depraved, he can’t say it on TV.

Colbert still jokes that he’s going to Vancouver to find out “What is Canada? Or more importantly, why is Canada?”

But now that foreign athletes have received more ice time, Colbert says, “I’ve forgiven Canada. . . . I’m there to celebrate Canada at this point.”

As part of an arrangement made with NBC and NBC Universal Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol (who recently appeared on “The Report”), Colbert will be allowed to film inside the Richmond Olympic Oval. In exchange, he will join Bob Costas for commentary Feb. 17 on NBC.

But for all of his satire, it’s clear Colbert has a genuine love of the Olympics.

“It’s a festival,” he says. “What a great, rare honour it’s been to be helpful in any way to these beautiful athletes. I’m really in awe of what they do and I want to be there to support them.”

[From The Canadian Press]

Aw, that’s sweet at the end. What kills me is that the real Colbert sounds like a truly sweet man. It’s just his Colbert persona that is hilariously obscene, ridiculous and insane. Oh, and they mentioned “that depraved sex act”… Colbert really did that, and it’s a killer bit. Here’s more:

Canada’s history is being rewritten — online, at least — in terms so crude, it could make any Canuck blush with a patriotic tinge. On his late-night TV show this week, satirist Stephen Colbert took aim at Canadian magazine the Beaver, which announced last month it was changing its moniker after 90 years because some search engines were weeding it out, believing it was pornography due to its name.

The Winnipeg-based publication is rebranding itself as the less suggestive Canada’s History, starting in April. But what Canadians don’t know, the comedian joked Thursday on The Colbert Report, is in America “Canada’s history” is a euphemism “for a sex act so depraved,” it can’t be described on television.

The unspeakable act, apparently, “involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley Cup.”

The comedian then invited his audience — often referenced as the Colbert Nation for their willingness to help with his pranks — to “redefine Canada’s history in the most jaw-dropping terms imaginable,” on urbandictionary.com,a Wikipedia-like webpage that allows users to submit definitions for words and slang.

“Just put everything in there,” said Colbert, who mockingly portrays a conservative pundit on his show. “Putting everything in there, by the way, is the hardest part of performing Canada’s history.”

Thirty-six hours later, there were 521 listed entries — each with increasingly vulgar descriptions that use more Canadian cliches than a Kids in the Hall skit.

In June 2008, when CBC announced it wouldn’t renew the contract for the Hockey Night in Canada theme song, Colbert declared “Bad move, Canada!” saying he would licence the iconic “Dunt-da DUNT-da-dunt” to be played while doing very “American” things.

“I’m going to play it when doing things like punching beavers in the face,” he quipped.

[From The Vancouver Sun]

Colbert is a deranged genius. Jesus, I love him. “Punching beavers in the face” should be made into a t-shirt. TEAM COLBERT.

Fairey poster courtesy of Gawker.

She’s not performing, but Britney Spears, as part of her latest comeback attempt, will have a presence at this year’s Video Music Awards. Last week, Britney’s manager, Larry Rudolph, pulled the plug on speculation that she’d be opening the awards just like last year. But she is nominated for an award for her video, “Piece of Me,” and rumor has it that she’ll also be presenting an award along with Olympic champion Michael Phelps.

Britney Spears is to make her return to the MTV VMAs next week accompanied by Olympic swimming golden boy Michael Phelps.

The troubled star had been planning to perform live at the show too, but her manager pulled the plug on the idea – probably a good idea after her disastrous bikini-clad performance at the show last year.

Instead, it’s emerged that Britney will take the stage with human fish Phelps to present one of the many awards on September 8, introduced by host Russell Brand.

She may well end up accepting a gong too – she’s been nominated for her single Piece Of Me.

[From The Daily Mirror]

The official MTV VMA web site doesn’t list Britney as a presenter, though it does confirm that Phelps will be there.

He walked away from this summer’s Olympic Games with a record-setting eight gold medals. So what’s swimming sensation Michael Phelps going to do next? Well, after his requisite trip to Disney World — he’ll be heading out to Los Angeles’ Paramount Pictures Studios on September 7 to hand out a Moonman or two during the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.

MTV revealed Thursday (August 28) that Phelps, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Ciara, Scarlett Johansson, “Superbad” scene-stealer Christopher Mintz-Plasse and “High School Musical” stars Ashley Tisdale, Corbin Bleu, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will be presenters at the show, which will air live at 9 p.m ET. They’ll join “Twilight” stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, who were also announced as presenters on Tuesday.

Additionally, it was announced that DJ AM and Blink-182 kitman Travis Barker will be mixing live drum beats to scratched records throughout the evening. Later in the show, the pair will team up with Katy Perry, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, the Ting Tings and other special guests to perform new and past MTV hits as part of a special celebration of the VMAs’ 25th birthday.

The news follows the recent announcements that Rihanna, Pink, T.I., Kid Rock, Paramore, Lil Wayne and the Jonas Brothers will be taking the VMA stage this year. Additional presenters and performers will be announced in the coming days.

This year’s VMAs will be hosted by British comic and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” co-star Russell Brand.

[From MTV.com]

Of course, that doesn’t mean Britney won’t be presenting- MTV might just be keeping it under wraps for now.

Britney Spears is shown on 6/26/08. Micheal Phelps is shown yesterday and this morning, 8/27/08 and 8/28/08. He should definitely keep his shirt off. Credit: WENN. Edit – more shirtless photos added by popular demand. Credit: PRPhotos

A former Olympic table tennis player for Britain is dishing the dirt on the bacchanalian atmosphere inside the Olympic village, and he says it’s as much of a drunken sex fest as you might imagine. The young virile athletes let loose when they’re done competing, and with all those hormones raging from intense training there’s plenty of wanton coupling. The swimmers are the worst, he says, because they’re done at the beginning of the games and have the rest of the time to f’ck around:

But let us get back to all the sex going down in the village. One possible explanation centres on the fact that Olympic athletes have to display an unnatural (and, it has to be said, wholly unhealthy) level of self-discipline in the build-up to big competitions. How else is this going to manifest itself than with a volcanic release of pent-up hedonism? It is a common sight to see recently knocked-out athletes gorging on Magnums and McDonald’s, swilling alcohol and, of course, shagging like crazy. Sometimes all three at the same time. Yet this can be only a part of the explanation because most of the athletes I know are as up for it before and during competition as they are in the immediate aftermath. It is as if sportsmen and women have a higher base level of sexual energy. But why? Can it be that one of the underlying drivers of sporting greatness is also the very thing that produces an overactive sex drive?

If so, you can bet your Olympic accreditation that testosterone is implicated. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for many of the differences between the sexes and is also a key physiological driver of aggression, competitiveness and virility. This is particularly so with regard to women. The dual effect of testosterone on female sporting performance and sexuality was demonstrated – somewhat sinisterly – during the state-sponsored doping programme in East Germany. An average teenage girl produces around half a milligram of testosterone per day. In the mid-1980s German female athletes were doped with around 30 milligrams of androgenic steroids per day. The effect on sporting performance was breathtaking – East German women dominated the world in swimming and athletics – but it also produced libidos (according to the testimony of the athletes themselves) that spiraled out of control.

This is not to say that the athletes in the village are all on steroids, or that elevated levels of testosterone inevitably lead to lots of sex. It is merely to say that, at a population level, higher naturally occurring levels of testosterone in both genders would provide a powerful explanation for the combination of sporting prowess and sexual potency.

[From The Times Online via TMZ]

It sounds like college, except you had to pace yourself because you had a full four years. Sex for two weeks at The Olympics must be like a sprinting event – get it while you can.
Author Matthew Syed says that the gold-winning male Olympians are poised to get more tail – think Michael Phelps – but that it doesn’t work that way for the triumphant female athletes.

The chaps who win gold medals – even those as geeky as Michael Phelps – are the principal objects of desire for many female athletes. There is something about sporting success that makes a certain type of woman go crazy – smiling, flirting and sometimes even grabbing at the chaps who have done the business in the pool or on the track. An Olympic gold medal is not merely a route to fame and fortune; it is also a surefire ticket to writhe. But – and this is the thing – success does not work both ways. Gold-medal winning female athletes are not looked upon by male athletes with any more desire than those who flunked out in the first round. It is sometimes even considered a defect, as if there is something downright unfeminine about all that striving, fist pumping and incontinent sweating.

[From Times Online]

Michael Phelps may technically be geeky, but he’s also super rich and world famous now, and that makes him more attractive. He is slated to earn around $100 million in endorsement deals in his lifetime and just received a $1 million advance for his biography, Built to Succeed, which is due out this December. It’s sure to be a best seller, especially if he includes any of the sexy details from the Olympic Village in there.

Russian pole vaulting champion Yelena Isinbayeva’s butt is shown below on 8/18/08. US Volleyball player Kerri Walsh is shown in the header on 8/12/08. She is also shown hugging partner Misty May-Treanor. Credit: Image of Sport / PR Photos

Olympic mania really is sweeping Hollywood. I don’t generally follow sports, but even I can prioritize and find some time to stare at Michael Phelps. A New York Magazine reporter decided to chat up P Diddy about the Olympics, and made the mistake of asking him what he could win a gold medal in. And apparently it’s not running or rapping or business or anything else that he can certifiably back up. It’s something a little more subjective.

In honor of the Olympic Games, we asked Sean “Diddy” Combs about his favorite sports to watch last night at his spring-summer 2009 Sean John presentation. And faster than you can say “Michael Phelps just won gold again,” he answered, “Track and field!” He is a runner, after all. (Could anyone forget that groundbreaking New York–marathon MTV special?)

So what if there were a new Olympic sport, something he himself might have a chance of winning, we asked. What would that be? “Who could have sex the longest,” he told us in a soft voice and with a straight face, while looking into our eyes. Was that a pick-up line? We weren’t sure, but we tingled anyway. “I think that’s an event I can do well in. And probably who could stay up the longest.” Dirty!

“Just so you know, that’s supposed to be funny,” he added as an afterthought. “Even though I am serious.” But who would be his competitors? “Whoever’s up for the challenge.” You heard him, folks! Any sex athletes out there willing to challenge the Diddy?

[From New York Magazine]

What a classic, frightening, and intriguing response, all rolled into one. I’m sure Diddy has no problem finding many a lady up to the challenge. He probably found a couple that night. At first I was wondering, “How would they score that? Would it be like figure skating where some of it is the opinion of the judges?” And then I came up with a couple more concrete markers. But I’ll leave that alone and just let Diddy gloat.

Here’s Sean Combs outside Crown nightclub in Los Angeles on June 25th. Images thanks to WENN.