Yesterday Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton told the press he wasn’t going to attend a meeting about creating laws to restrain the paparazzi. Clearly there are MUCH bigger issues for police to worry about in Los Angeles than photographers. You know, gangs, murder, drugs, robbery, rape… it’s a pretty long list. But unfortunately, instead of saying something along the lines of “We have even more pressing criminal matters to attend to,” Bratton basically made a smart ass remark about how dumb celebrities are; noting that the idiot trifecta of Paris/Britney/Lindsay had calmed down a lot lately.

‘If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue,” he told KNBC-TV.

[From OK! Magazine]

Well it makes for an amusing sound bite if nothing else. But it probably wasn’t the most professional way to say “I don’t think it’s an issue anymore.” And it was perfect Lohan bait.

Lindsay Lohan is taking no prisoners to protect her personal life and rumored relationship with d.j. pal Samantha Ronson.

On Friday, in response to L.A. Police Chief William Bratton’s comment that the city’s paparazzi problem is no longer an issue because evidently Lindsay Lohan “has gone gay,” the actress fired back with a statement of her own. And yes, it was to the paparazzi.

“Police, you shouldn’t get involved in everyone else’s business when it comes to their personal life. It’s inappropriate,” she said in a video posted on TMZ.

[From OK! Magazine]

I do enjoy how Lindsay erroneously addresses all police. I realize Lindsay Lohan isn’t smart enough to know the man’s name, but you’d think she could have been a little more specific in her phrasing. Her comments are so over-generalized and vague that it makes her come across as exceptionally stupid. Even for Lindsay Lohan.

It’ll be interesting to see if any of these paparazzi laws come into effect. John Mayer and Milo Ventimiglia were all at the meeting – which Bratton called a “complete waste of time.” He did clarify that he has a gay sister and is a fan of gay rights – so I’m not sure why he tossed that original comment in at all.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are shown at LAX catching a flight yesterday. Credit: Fame and WENN.

I understand that as a celebrity you probably get pretty used to people knowing who you are. Everywhere you go – whether you’re pumping your gas or buying tampons at the drugstore – some stranger is chatting you up, asking for your autograph. After a couple months, you probably start to assume that people just KNOW who you are. And if you’re an A or B-list celeb, that’s probably not an unreasonable assumption.

But what happens when you’re located below the C-list? Well, apparently you can embarrass the crap out of yourself, if Shannen Doherty is any example. Apparently Doherty thought the paparazzi were chasing her. And to be fair the photographers over at TMZ don’t seem to have much else to do, so it might be true. When Shannen went into a police station to complain, the cops were kinda perplexed – they had no idea why photographers would follow her. Because they had no idea who she even was.

That new “90210″ show can’t come along fast enough for Shannen Doherty.

We know Shannen went to the Sheriff’s Department in Lost Hills (Malibu) to complain about paparazzi following her. The cops who talked to her were baffled … because they had no idea who she was.

The deputy at the front desk confessed he had no idea who she was. Shannen retorted that she was on TV. The deputy, in a scene reminiscent of “Take the Money and Run,” began asking others around him if they knew who she was, but none did.

We’re told Shannen then left in a huff.

[From TMZ]

Ouch. But frankly I don’t find it all that surprising. Even when she was on 90210, Shannen wasn’t that interesting looking. I think she only got so much attention for being a legendary terror to work with. Something tells me that even once the new 90210 starts up, not a lot of people are going to know who the hell is. What’s funny is that she hasn’t figured that out yet.

Here’s Shannen Doherty taking her family to dinner in Malibu on May 26th. Images thanks to Fame.

Halle Berry is flaming mad, and by most accounts sure has reason to be. It turns out those grainy pictures of Halle holding her her 4-month-old daughter Nahla weren’t taken at a resort or “out and about” as written. They were taken from a telephoto lens while Halle was in her backyard – and some while she was in her house. It’s a clear and ridiculous violation of privacy, and pretty damn upsetting. Halle isn’t taking it lying down, and is going after the paparazzi responsible.

… the pics, one of which shows a foliage-covered slope and a patio table in the background while others include glimpses of Berry’s mother, were taken when the X-Men star was in her backyard, constituting a “very blatant and invasive trespass. The paparazzi have gone too far. [Gabriel] and I have always remained that we would never sell baby photos or otherwise exploit her in any way,” Berry said in a statement obtained by E! News.

“I will do everything I can for the sake of her safety and well-being to keep her out of the public eye…I intend to do everything I can to make sure the photographer who illegally intruded into my home is criminally prosecuted.”

A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office said that no complaint has been received and that this may solely be a matter for the L.A. Police Department at this time.

[From E! News]

Life & Style and In Touch Weekly magazines went to press with the photographs before they could be removed, but the photo agency removed the images from their website. They did point out that photos are taken of Britney Spears in her backyard quite often, and no one says anything. Which is a good point… except that what it really means is that those photos aren’t appropriate either. Several years ago Jennifer Aniston successfully sued over topless photos taken of her in her backyard.

People should definitely have the right to privacy in their yards and especially inside their homes. It seems completely unfair that if a celebrity parent refuses to sell photos of their new baby – or give them away for free – that the paparazzi will do whatever it takes to get a shot.

The extreme lengths they’ll go to are absolutely appalling – like the paps who called in a fake fire to Maggie Gyllenhaal’s building so she’d run out with her 5-day-old baby at five in the morning. Halle has kept her baby unusually hidden, but that’s certainly her right, and it’s good that she won’t be pressured into releasing photos.

Note by Celebitchy: The owner of the photo agency who took the pictures has issued a very good response to this and owns up to their error, saying “It was a poor decision to put those pictures out in the first place because they were taken on private property. I think she’s completely in the right to protect her child.”

We do business with the agency, Fame pictures, and they’re a very good company to deal with, especially when compared to some of the other photo agencies. Of course I’m biased in how I view this, but how many times have you viewed photos that should have been private? Think of how much money these photos are worth, and how often Britney is photographed in her backyard, and you can see how there will be people camped out trying to get pictures. In their celebrity-skewed view of the world, this seems like a decent idea with a good payoff. We can vilify the paparazzi all we want, but we’re the ones keeping them in business and egging them on. These are not the same guys in camo fighting with Brangelina’s security and it would be unfair to lump them all together.

We had yet to subscribe to Fame when these Halle Berry photos came out, but these photos along with other exclusives prompted me to contact them and I definitely would have published them at the time without questioning their origin. It would be hypocritical of me to act like I wouldn’t.

Maybe this incident, coupled with the paparazzi problems Brad and Angelina are having, will deter photographers from taking photos of celebrities on private property. There’s definitely a demand for it, but the celebrities aren’t taking it lying down and are working to secure their hard-earned privacy.

Here’s Halle Berry leaving a dentist’s office in Los Angeles on July 14th. Images thanks to WENN.

Yesterday Celebitchy reported on the shockingly brutal altercation between Brangelina’s security team and photographers. At first it seemed like a relatively minor incident, but later in the day it was revealed that a lot more was involved, including a good bit of blood. Literally.

One can’t help but think that neighbors in the small French village of Brignoles are getting pretty annoyed with all the drama – and according to E! that’s very much the case. Residents are upset not just by the attention, but by the way Brad and Angelina are constantly monopolizing the town’s resources.

Sources tell E! News that a main point of conflict between the privacy-seeking superstar couple and the residents of Brignoles is that the village only has a few police officers, whose primary civic duty, the neighbors say, should not be to help ward off paparazzi.

“They told them to hire more security and that they can’t be called out every day because Brad and Angie aren’t happy,” a police source says. “They have other crimes like burglaries and muggings to look into. French tax payers shouldn’t have to pay to protect a couple of American celebrities.”

Residents also say the Jolie-Pitts could take a page from the playbook of fellow locally dwelling celebs Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, who have lived in the area for years without ever feeling the need to use up police resources. Instead, Depp and Paradis simply sue if a publication uses any privacy-invading pictures, and the paparazzi, locals say, have learned to leave the twosome alone.

And unlike the Jolie-Pitts, Depp and his common-law missus have never sold photos of their brood, so locals complain the Jolie-Pitts are bringing their paparazzi problems on themselves by seeking to control which shots are allowed for general consumption.

[From E! News]

Another issue that’s already garnering a lot of attention is the planned schooling of the Brangelina clan. Other parents don’t want the herd attending the same school as their children, for fear the paparazzi will stake out the area and invade their own children’s privacy.

But it’s not just the strain on the fuzz that has locals barking at Brangelina. A group of citizens has already voiced dissent over the possibility of Maddox & Co. enrolling in a local school this fall, grousing about the possibility of shutterbugs camped outside the campus.

“This is a beautifully peaceful area of the world, and Brad and Angelina are threatening that peace,” says one disgruntled resident.

“Their kids have the right to go to school but not if it means strange men hanging around at the gates with cameras threatening local kids’ privacy. A lot of villagers aren’t happy at all that they’ve moved here and wish they’d move away again.”

[From E! News]

It stinks for the kids, because parents can – and probably will – make that argument anywhere they attend school. Maddox has been attending the prestigious Lycee Francais schools, which has a network of over 400 schools around the world. Presumably attending schools that are somewhat linked like that gives the kids a bit of continuity they wouldn’t otherwise have. But it makes perfect sense that other parents wouldn’t want to bring that level of drama into their kids’ lives. Brad and Angelina need to find some way to make peace with the locals. Maybe following the Johnny Depp plan really is a good idea.

After over a year at this job, I really shouldn’t be surprised by much of anything I hear about the paparazzi. Yet they always manage to outdo themselves when it comes to skeezy behavior. Maggie Gyllenhaal told the L.A. Times about a terrible encounter she had with the paparazzi. They called in a fake fire to get her to run out of her building at five in the morning, just so they could get snaps of her five day old daughter. Hearing about the encounter made me absolutely livid.

Gyllenhaal still can’t believe the lengths some people will go to just to get a photograph, but the early morning fire alarm was the lowest blow for her.

She says, “The paparazzi were just really awful to us. I mean, they called the fire department and told them there was a fire in our little, tiny building in the West Village (New York) so that we would have to come outside with a five-day-old baby.”

The bogus fire alert almost led Gyllenhaal to turn down the role of Rachel Dawes in the new Batman movie, “The Dark Knight.”

She tells the Los Angeles Times newspaper, “I was trying to navigate my way through that (media intrusion) when this offer came. I thought, `It’s going to push that stuff further probably.’ But what am I going to do? I’m going to hide and not do things that are appealing to me? I’m an actress.”

[From the San Francisco Gate]

That is just enraging. If I were Maggie I would have gone absolutely ballistic on those guys. That is just lower than low. I would have had my lawyers all over their photo agencies. If I were calm enough. I can think of few things that would cause me to want to physically attack someone, but that sure would. This story is a little old – Celebitchy heard it a while ago – but worth sharing now that Maggie’s mentioned it again. They could have endangered people rushing to get out of the building – and for something so small and stupid. I don’t blame Maggie for wanting to quit the business after that. But I also wouldn’t blame her for clubbing the paparazzi either.

Here’s Maggie Gyllenhaal outside the Ed Sullivan Theatre for the ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ on Wednesday. Images thanks to WENN.

All celebrities take note: if you want to live your life with some measure of privacy and not have the paparazzi give a crap about you, you need to become friends with David Beckham. It seems that when Becks is around, no one gives a crap about any other celebs. Any and all who hate being followed by the paps: get yourself a David Beckham. Or a David Beckham impersonator. Hell, even a well crafted cardboard cutout might work well. According to E! News, it worked great for Lindsay Lohan – who was pretty much completely ignored in Beckham’s presence.

If Lindsay Lohan ever decides to be keep a lower profile, she should consider spending more time around David Beckham. Lohan and her gal-pal Samantha Ronson were on the same flight to New York today as the soccer hunk.

When the two girls got to the luggage carousel, there wasn’t much fuss: Some kids asked for autographs and a single paparazzo snapped some pics.

Then Beckham sauntered to the carousel…

“About 25 people ran over to him, and there were at least five photographers who showed up out of nowhere taking photos,” a source reports. Beckham had to hightail it to NYC after last night’s ESPY Awards in Hollywood to get ready for Saturday’s Los Angeles Galaxy game against the New York Red Bulls.

[From E! News]

I am currently papier-mâché-ing (that’s a really hard word to conjugate) a life-size Beckham as we speak, to keep the paparazzi from following me. Every morning when I leave the house there’s this guy across the street with his camera. Always sitting on his couch, aiming the zoom out the window at my apartment. Oddly he does it a lot at night, too. Into my window. Weird.

I’m absolutely convinced he’s with X17 and is following me. He just bought that house 7 years ago knowing I’d move to the fanciest part of Brooklyn, become crazy famous, and be a great paparazzi target. Now that I have my faux-Beckham to carry around with me, the guy will have something better to do. Plus, being seen with David Beckham makes me look cool. It’s a win-win.

Here are David and Victoria Beckham (last photo with Candace Parker) at the 2008 ESPY Awards in Los Angeles on Wednesday. Images thanks to WENN.

According to several websites, a paparazzo trying to take shots of Matthew McConaughey was attacked by a roving pack of surfers. Okay not roving. But it sounds much scarier that way. It’s hard to make surfers sound threatening, and that’s really the only way I can explain this story. The photographer was assaulted, and his presumably expensive camera was thrown into the ocean. Matthew McConaughey had nothing to do with the attack. Unless he surreptitiously summoned the surfers with some kind of signal.

A paparazzo trying to photograph Matthew McConaughey at the beach told police he was attacked by a mob of surfers who threw his camera in the ocean. The 29-year-old photojournalist told sheriff’s deputies that a large group of surfers near Paradise Cove in Malibu approached him and other paparazzi about 2 p.m. Saturday and demanded the group stop taking pictures and filming.

The celebrity Web site TMZ.com posted a video Sunday showing about a dozen young men in swimsuits approaching what appears to be a group of paparazzi and yelling and swearing at them. A scuffle breaks out after one of the photographers exchanges insults with the group and at first refuses their orders to leave.

“I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you leave right now,” one of the young men in swimsuits tells the photographers. Another shoves a photographer filming the scene, and still another says, “We’ll draw a line in the beach, and we’ll fight for the beach. If you guys win, you can have the beach.”

When one member of the group shouts at a photographer, “Get a … real job,” the photographer replies, “This is a real job. What do you do?” The man replies: “I just drink beer and party.”

[From the Huffington Post]

I just laughed my ass off. “We’ll draw a line in the beach, and we’ll fight for the beach?” Then we’ll have a dance-off, and whoever loses has to burn their leather jacket, and can never dance again! A line in the beach? I love that it’s not a line in the sand. Which would have been MUCH better. I had no idea surfers were so protective of their kind. Matthew McConaughey clearly has some really great friends. Anyone who would have a beach-off is someone worthy of adding to your entourage, my friend.

Note by Celebitchy: TMZ has the video, and you can see a pack of a dozen or so surfers walking over to the paps. They say “get a real f’ing jog” and start arguing. One guy says he called the cops, and you can hear the photographers shouting back in British and Scottish accents. One Scottish photographer says “This is public property. This is a job, what do you do?” Toward the end you can see a guy hitting a photographer with what looks like a baseball bat. The man gets up and staggers away and the video ends.

Matthew McConaughey is shown out surfing with friends on Saturday, thanks to Splash News.

Jamie Lynn Spears running errands on 4/1/08, thanks to Splash
It might be more permissible in L.A., but in Louisiana, tailing a celeb to photograph their every move is better known as stalking. A member of the paparazzi, who has been following Jamie Lynn Spears and her boyfriend Casey Aldridge all over Louisiana and Mississippi, has been arrested for stalking. See, Casey - there’s no need to pull a gun on them, just call the cops!

A celebrity photographer accused of stalking Jamie Lynn Spears and her fiance in a small Mississippi town has been arrested. Edwin W. Merino, 30, of Los Angeles, posted bond Tuesday. He is scheduled to appear in court next week.

Authorities in Liberty, a small town in southwest Mississippi near the Louisiana border, said Merino wouldn’t leave the pregnant Spears and her fiance, Casey Aldridge, alone.

Merino denied the accusations in a phone interview Wednesday with The Associated Press. He said that he was about 200 feet away from the couple using a long lens when he was arrested at a gas station.

The younger Spears and Aldridge have been the subject of intense attention since she announced her pregnancy in December. She said then she was 12 weeks along, which would make the 17-year-old due any time.

Merino said he had little luck taking pictures of the couple and was preparing to leave the area.

“I’ve seen the young man Casey in pictures,” Merino said. “I haven’t worked on them myself. The first time I got a good look at him was in court.”

Spears’ family representatives did not immediately return messages Wednesday.

Merino has worked as a celebrity photographer for five years. He was one of the paparazzi who snared pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears’ older sister, Britney, without underwear.

Merino said he was the only photographer following Spears during most of his four days in the Liberty area.

“I just think since I was the only one there, it was just easier for them to single me out,” Merino said.

[From Yahoo News]

It’s been clear since Jamie Lynn announced her pregnancy that she prefers to be left alone. It’s about time someone nailed one of these guys. They’ve been documenting her every move for months, and it’s very intrusive. Following Jamie Lynn down Robertson Blvd. is one thing, but she’s in Louisiana. Buying deodorant at Wal-Mart. Do we really need to see a picture of that?

Mischa Barton on 3/28/08, credit: Splash. The photos in question can be found on the Daily Mail’s website

Mischa Barton may have gained a scant few pounds since her character met a fateful end on The O.C., but she doesn’t have a bunch of cellulite rippling down her legs like some recent pictures show. (And the girl is gorgeous on the rare occasion when she’s dressed properly.) Mischa says through her rep that recent bikini photos of her that show dimpling cellulite are photoshopped and altered to make it out to be much worse than it is. What’s more is that the guy who took the photos has a vendetta against her, and is the paparazzo who was given a restraining order for harassing Nicole Kidman. He sounds like a real creep in these quotes from the NY Daily News:

“Those photos are doctored,” Barton’s rep, Lisa Perkins, tells us. “I’m not saying she’s perfect, nobody is. But they’ve given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old.”

“Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There’s a lot you can do with Photoshopping…”

Barton’s publicist contends that Aussie photographer Jamie Fawcett - whom she calls a “parasite” - is out to make the former “O.C.” star look bad because “she called him out for taking the topless shots.”

Fawcett argues, “I wouldn’t seek to publicly embarrass her with nudity or health issues or body image issues.

“It is a shame that publications tend to highlight an issue that is not fair to a young girl. … However, sometimes these are the things that sell pictures.”

The snapper says he gave Barton fair warning that he was gunning for her when they met while she was on vacation in Australia.

“We spoke to each other on [Henning Island], and that’s when I showed her my camera,” he said. “I did warn her it was a public place, and if she wanted privacy she shouldn’t be there.”

Fawcett denied Barton’s claim that he’s some kind of pervert. “I’m not a perv, and I didn’t intentionally mean to embarrass her. I don’t just set out and start my day thinking I want to get any celebrity topless.

“I once saw Keanu Reeves dancing in the nude on a balcony with a girl and decided not to shoot them.”

[From The NY Daily News]

The paparazzi take those type of pictures because they’re worth more money. When you add a bunch of cellulite they’re even more worthwhile to a crappy rag like the Daily Mail, who makes it their business to make asinine remarks about some celebrity’s body just about every day. Barton should be able to step out onto her balcony though without being photographed. The photographer himself told her he would get her on the beach - not at her hotel.

If only Mischa would stop dressing herself and let someone else do it for her, she could highlight her natural beauty properly. It’s a shame that the one time she’s half-dressed and isn’t wearing an outfit that makes you scratch your head, someone makes her butt and thighs bigger and adds a bunch of cellulite. It’s like she’s doomed to be fug no matter what.

Just when you thought Jessica Simpson might be smartenin’ up, she says something like this.

Simpson says, “I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t want to see Tony (Romo) and me in the (tabloid) pictures. It is a good airplane reading if you throw it away when you get off. I’m good at that.

“I am not the type of person who believes everything she reads, but I like to look at photos and see what people are wearing. That’s interesting to me. Do I read the stories? Not really. I try not to read blogs. The comments are extremely harsh.”

ICYDK

What really gets me is that while Jessica loves these pictures, the rest of us are just mildly disturbed. Do you remember those pictures of her, Tony Romo and the blue icing at his birthday celebration? Yeah, I’m going into therapy as a result, too.

Jessica and Tony are also rumored to be getting engaged, although this is strictly not official. While these rumors have circulated for a few weeks, do you kind of suspect that Jess might be putting them out herself to draw attention away from her sister Ashlee?

Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend Tony Romo have reported confirmed that they are engaged. Sources say friends of the couple were heard toasting their news at a party thrown by P. Diddy last Friday.

“I have never felt better,” Simpson was overheard telling friends. “I am really excited.”

Insiders allege that the singer is determined to get married before her younger sister Ashlee Simpson. Ashlee recently announced her engagement to ‘Fall Out Boy’ rocker Pete Wentz.

“Jessica would love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee. It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention,” claims the insider.

TransWorldNews

I’m sure that all siblings have issues, but getting married out of competition is not going to make for a happy union - if this story is true.

The way for Jess to go is to get married about two weeks after Ashlee’s wedding. Sure, Ashlee will get married first (sort of, Jessica was married to Nick Lachey before), but Jessica will be able to see what she does and outdo her. Ashlee wears a white dress with 3 foot train? Jess will get a dress that requires nine bridesmaids to assist her walking. Ashlee arrives at the reception in a Cinderella-style horse drawn carriage? Jess arrives in the same carriage, but leaves after midnight in a giant pumpkin pulled by genetically modified mice. You could see her thinking there are mice big enough to pull a carriage.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jessica Simpson is shown at the airport on 2/27/08, thanks to WENN. There aren’t a lot of paparazzi photos of her.