Paris Hilton and her Swedish pizza delivery boy, Alex Vaggo, were trying in vain to be scenesters in matching track suits, but failed to get the attention of the paparazzi they are likely to have tipped off. They wandered around a restaurant for 20 minutes without ordering and waited for someone to pay attention to them. When no one showed to take their pictures Paris decided to have herdriver tape them instead:

What does Paris Hilton do when the paparazzi aren’t around? She creates her own photo frenzy! She and pizza boy/model Alex Vaggo showed up at trendy diner Ketchup on the Sunset Strip on January 4 wearing “his” and “her” sweatsuits. They didn’t eat or drink and left after 20 minutes. Things got really strange when Paris realized there were no cameras watching her – so she had her driver grab a video camera! He filmed her and asked personal questions as she walked to the car.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 21, 2008]

Paris gets all dressed up with her boyfriend-for-show and they can’t even get their picture taken! What a dilemma.

Like America’s favorite trainwreck, Britney Spears, Paris also might soon be barred from the Four Seasons hotel for bad behavior. In Paris’ case she was ordering around the staff too much and even bullied a little girl!

Paris Hilton… carelessly tromped on the long dress of a little girl on a hotel staircase – making the kid fall down and start bawling! Moments later, Paris actually told management to shut the annoying brat up! Then she started ordered hotel staff around like they were slaves. First she demanded the pool boys have a cluster of chairs waiting for her and her part – parents Kathy and Rick, sis Nicky and even loathsome Brandon Davis – but like shrieked like a demented diva when she claimed the chairs weren’t facing the right way and were too crammed. “Move the chairs to the beach and set up all my umbrellas immediately,” she ranted. By this time, fed-up management – furious at being treated so disrespectfully – revolted. The Four Seasons manager confronted Paris and formally warned she’ll be unwelcome on the premises henceforth if she doesn’t lose the attitude.

[From The National Enquirer, Mike Walker's column, print edition, January 21, 2008]

The Four Seasons doesn’t take crap from anyone, and they must realize that their money comes from the rich people who spend a lot of time there, and not from the celebrities who flit in and out and cause a ruckus for everyone. I love how they keep Paris in check and told Britney she’s never allowed in again. At least they don’t have to worry about Paris bringing a lot of paparazzi with her when she comes since she’s not really attracting that much attention lately. Watch for a big stunt from Paris soon. She knows it’s passé to vag flash after she revealed her secret to Britney and she abused it, but she realizes that she needs to pull something in order to get more press.

Paris Hilton and Swedish pizza boy Alex Vaggo are shown out to dinner and shopping on 12/22/07, thanks to Splash News.

Britney had an event-filled few days leading up to Christmas in which she gave us a public lesson on typical bipolar and/or drug addict behavior. You’ve probably heard by now that she decided to pick her next lover from among the paparazzi that swarm around her constantly, and settled on a British guy named Adnan. OK! Magazine has the blow-by-blow, so to speak.

The handsome photographer wasn’t around when Britney decided she wanted to shack up with him on Saturday, so she asked his co-worker to summon him for her. Adnan showed up and hung out with her in the car as they drove around aimlessly for an hour. At one point she got out to take a photo of a mural and then freaked out swearing at photographers for taking pictures of her, throwing her camera on the ground. When one of them retrieved the memory card for her she was all sweetness and light, saying “I love you guys… it’s not like me to get mad at you.”

Britney visited several public restrooms that night, which seems to be evidence of some kind of UTI or drug use. My vote is on drug use since she was seen covering her face and nose. She also changed outfits three times.

Adnan and Britney went to her house, but they didn’t stay there because she told him it was too dirty. He then went to the Pennisula hotel with Britney and came out of the room an hour later to buy cigarettes. He told photographers who quizzed him on what was going on that “It’s hard to make babies when you’re just having lunch.” It was night time at that point, so he must not have meant it literally.

After buying some smokes the guy went back up to the hotel with Britney and left Sunday morning at 10:30 am. He then went to her house, and OK! notes that her kids were scheduled for a visit later that day.

So Britney shacked up with a photographer. She doesn’t really have a lot of suitors to chose from at this point. It seems inevitable that she picked one of the guys who is around her constantly, especially since that restaurant manager didn’t work out.

There’s also a story in this week’s National Enquirer that Britney wasn’t just barred from the Four Seasons – she was personally escorted out by security when she didn’t pack up quick enough:

[Britney] raised so much hell at swanky Four Seasons hotel in BevHills she was summarily ejected from her Presidential Suite and escorted off the posh premises by security guards! Sources say Britney, who’d practically taken up residency at the legendary inn, had been warned repeatedly by management that a Hollywood bigshot in the suite directly below hers – a longtime resident who pays a million bucks-plus per year – was complaining about nighttime parties, loud music and drunken hoochie-momma’s screaming from Brit’s balcony to people below! After visits by security failed to silence Swamp Thang and her brain-fried menagerie, Mr. Angry VIP phoned the hotel manager and threatened to move out. Fed up, the manager phoned Britney and ordered her to vacate the premises immediately. Incredibly, the furious brat refused at first. Snapped the manager: “I’m sending security up NOW! Pack your bags and leave, please.” Finally bowing to the inevitable, Britney packed up and was escorted down the street and out the exit by security.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, December 31, 2007]

It seems as if Britney tried to return on another night, because outlets were reporting that she was turned away from the Four Seasons and barred from future visits.

And there’s a story that experts feel Britney is at risk for suicide. They probably got the idea from Perez Hilton, who said on The View when asked if he felt guilty for reporting so negatively about celebrities that “If Britney committed suicide tomorrow and died, she would be the only one to blame I think.”

Page Six quoted an “addiction expert” as saying that “[Britney's] going to eventually lose it altogether if she doesn’t get the help she needs.” The expert also says that Britney is seeking attention after her sister got pregnant, taking the focus away from her erratic behavior and calling for even more drastic measures.

Hang in there Britney, all you need to do is start hanging out with your sister again once she starts showing and you’ll get plenty of publicity.

Britney could also take the Paris Hilton route to mass media exposure – she could go to jail. OK! Magazine reports that if Britney misses another deposition in her custody case with K-Fed she could be sent to jail for contempt of court.

Britney is shown out without a bra with her paparazzo hook up this weekend, thanks to WENN.

Julia Roberts is getting some pretty bad press for chewing out one of the paparazzi who had followed her to her kids’ school. Apparently she was so pissed that she got in her car and was following the guy and blaring on her horn. The paparazzi caught the whole thing on tape, and of course sold it as soon as he got home. It seems like a lot of people are criticizing Julia, but she makes some really good points. There is a line between following celebrities – who have chosen to be famous – and following their little kids, who deserve a reasonable amount of privacy, and didn’t choose fame.

Julia Roberts, a mother of three, has made it clear – in her actions and now in words – that she doesn’t like paparazzi staking out schools in order to get photos. Roberts, 40, recently chased down a photographer in her SUV near a school and gave him an earful, in an incident that was caught on video and shown on TMZ. Asked by Access Hollywood for Friday’s show what she said to the man, Roberts replied, “I just told him a school is not a place for a grown man to be crawling around trying to take pictures.”

She added: “If you want to take a picture of a person, then go to an adult place. Go to the coffee shop, go to the grocery store, go to the restaurant. Don’t stake out someone’s children’s church, school or playground environment.”

In the recent incident, Roberts, who did not have her kids with her, pursued a car of photographers and got them to pull over. Telling one man to shut off his camera, she said, “I want to talk to you about the fact that you’re at a school where children go. Turn it off!”

[From People]

Frankly I think Roberts was perfectly right to get mad. Even if her kids weren’t with her, she was at their school, so it had to do with them. There are worse things than overprotective parents. I think it’s totally normal that her natural inclination is to get mad and go after people that she feels are invading her kids’ space. She might have been a bit irrational, but I’m sure it’s not the first time paparazzi have shown up around her kids. It was probably just the straw that broke the camel’s proverbial back. In an article in this month’s Vanity Fair, Julia mentioned that she thinks it’s wrong for the paparazzi to take pictures of kids and/or publish their faces. She’s standing by what she believes, and every parents has the right and duty to look out for their kids’ well-being. Though the paps did catch her parking in a handicap spot last week, so maybe she’s riled up for another reason.

Being a celeb offers many perks of the famous, like skipping the line at a nightclub, or being let off a speeding ticket. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to get you out of going to court, even if you are Australia’s most famous actress.

Nicole Kidman has been called to give evidence in a defamation suit that paparazzo Jamie Fawcett is filing against Fairfax newspapers after they declared him to be “Sydney’s “most disliked freelance photographer” and “a cowboy type” who had “scared her (Kidman) on the road” and was determined to “wreak havoc” on her private life”. Nicole is a witness to these alleged tactics, after she applied for an apprehended violence order, and had him banned from coming within 500 metres of her home. Her driver gave evidence today of Fawcett’s tactics and said Nicole “feared for her life.”

However, she’s currently working at a Sydney studio on the film Australia with Hugh Jackman, and can’t leave the set without disrupting 335 people’s work schedule.

Sydney’s Supreme Court has rejected an affidavit from Kidman solicitor Stuart Gibson that Kidman is too busy to testify in person during court hours.

“It would not be possible or practical to suspend filming for a couple of hours in those time periods because Ms Kidman is in virtually every scene being shot during this time frame and is required to deliver her lines even when she is off camera,” the affidavit reads.

news.ninemsn.com.au

So, Nicole’s lawyers suggested a video link up, normally only allowed for children in abuse cases to give evidence so they don’t have to be in the same room as their abuser, or she could appear on the weekend. Courts in Australia aren’t open on weekends.

Today it has been suggested she may be able to appear this coming Monday for a few hours. Often the courts in Australia call you to give evidence and you spend days waiting to actually be called to the stand, so I can see what Nic’s problem is here. Hopefully she’s less of a diva in the courthouse than on the movie set.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Nicole Kidman is shown on 11/9/07 outside of Good Morning America. Do you guys think she has extensions? Her hair is looking a little too long and perfect to me.

Pierce Brosnan never really struck me as one of those actors that would knee you in the crotch if you asked him for an autograph – but then again I’ve never seen a single James Bond movie so I probably just don’t know better. You just closed this story and blocked this site, didn’t you? Just because I don’t know 007? I know the reference, does that help? No? Well I’m writing this while drinking my fifth martini of the morning, if that helps for anything.

It seems like a lot of otherwise fairly nice-seeming celebrities are going a little berserk on the paparazzi lately – and I can’t really blame them. It seems like the paps have really taken the stalking up a notch in the last few years. I can understand that it must be incredibly frustrating to go to dinner with your kid and have 20 people following you and flashing bright lights in your face. Though to be fair, I don’t think Pierce Brosnan gets the Whitney Bears treatment. It’s not like his career is floundering, but I’d say if one or two guys are still following you, buy them a steak. But Brosnan is a little more “punch them in the ribs” than that.

Apparently, Pierce Brosnan likes his shutterbugs shaken and stirred. The erstwhile James Bond is being investigated by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department for purportedly popping a paparazzo last Friday outside a trendy Malibu eatery.

“[Brosnan] is alleged to have committed a battery against a male adult,” said Sheriff’s Dept. spokesman Steve Whitmore. “We’re investigating it, and we’ve taken a report which we’ll refer to the L.A. County District Attorney’s Office for review.” He refused to release further details.

According to TMZ, the photographer in question, Robert Rosen of Ability Films, was reportedly tailing Brosnan and his young son when the incident occurred at about 6:15 p.m. near the entrance to the Casa Escobar Mexican restaurant.

The Website claims the cameraman approached the 54-year-old actor and complimented him on his Bond roles, prompting a tart reply from Brosnan. Eyewitnesses tell TMZ that Brosnan stopped short of using his license to kill, instead allegedly punching Rosen in the ribs. The photographer retaliated with a kick to Brosnan’s stomach before fleeing the scene, the witnesses claim.

[From E! News]

I wonder what this so-called “tart reply” was. Brosnan is British, so the tart reply may literally have been a comment about tarts. I’m guessing apple, but he could have been talking about cherry tarts too. Either way, nothing makes a British man madder than someone insulting tarts. Baked goods must be protected at all costs, and Brosnan would have been less than a man if he didn’t punch the photog in the ribs over it. Yes I know I missed the point. But I’m pretty sure getting punched in the ribs over a tart is about as stupid as getting punched in the ribs over a compliment. So I’m going with the tart on this one.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Pierce and wife Keely Shaye Smith at Sir Elton John’s Madison Square Garden 60th Birthday Concert on March 25th. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Jude Law was arrested for what was said to have been an attack on a paparazzo outside his home in West London. The photographer claims he was just waiting at the bus stop nearby, all innocent like, when Law recognized him and went up to him, trying to grab the camera from him, even though he was not taking pictures at the time.

According to the photographer, Law called him a pedophile and said that he was trying to get pictures of his children. He then tried to grab the camera, and the man is said to have “minor injuries” as a result.

The guy called the cops, who came and arrested Law. He was bailed out of jail and must appear in court in October.

This is very similar to an incident last year in which Law went off on a paparazzo and called him a pedophile for trying to take pictures of Law’s kids, who were there with him at the time.

The photographer said: “I was at a bus stop near Jude’s house but I wasn’t taking pictures of him. My camera was still in the bag.

“He was by himself when he recognised me and started accusing me of being a paedophile and that all I wanted to do was take pictures of his children. I was shocked at his behaviour.”

A police spokesman confirmed that officers attended the incident. “Police were called out in the Maida Vale area after reports of a disturbance and inquiries are being made.”

Law was taken to Marylebone police station on suspicion of causing bodily harm and bailed to return next month.

Law has spoken in the past about his attempts to protect his children, Rafferty, 10, Iris, seven, and Rudy, four, from the public glare.

[Daily Mail]

The article goes on to recount when a director helped Law channel his anger for a scene in which he was supposed to hit a windshield. He was told to imagine the windshield as the paparazzi, and he hit it the windshield so hard it cracked.

You can understand the guy trying to protect his children’s privacy and flipping out about it but it doesn’t sound like the kids were even around. Maybe we’re not getting the full story and the photographer was taking pictures of Law’s children 10 minutes before he came out and tried to get his camera. The must be a lot more to it if he was just coincidentally outside of Law’s house at a bus stop, toting his camera.

Ex trashy lovers Jude Law and Sienna Miller do have a lot in common. Sienna called photographers “f’ing rapists” while she was at the launch of her new clothing store and could have used some good publicity. It’s clear that Law and Miller share the same regard for the paparazzi despite the fact that they helped make them famous.

Though he injured his… ankle/knee/something below the thigh (I don’t really follow the sports) David Beckham won’t let that get in the way of loving the Posh bones. This morning he confirmed to Ryan Seacrest that the pair would like at least one or two more children, and they’re not letting David’s injury get in the way of another fat-free Posh pregnancy.

“David Beckham may have disappointed fans now that he is out for the season with an injury but his ‘Posh’ sex life with wife Victoria Beckham will continue. He told Ryan Seacrest that the couple wants more kids and that will mean practice, practice, practice. He said, ‘When we first met, we never even spoke about how many kids we wanted. It was just lucky that we both actually wanted around the same number. We both want four or five kids…we’re very family oriented.’

[From the National Ledger]

I’d be family oriented too if I were married to David Beckham. He also told Seacrest a little about adjusting to life in America, and said that for the most part, he and Posh love it.

“Us Weekly magazine has the interview excerpted online. Becks says on life in the U.S.: ‘We’re enjoying it. It’s a country that has sort of embraced us…everyone has been so positive, about not just me as a soccer player, but Victoria as a person…When she does a TV program or a radio program, people actually see what she’s like as a person and see that she’s got a great sense of humor…people really warm to her.’

“In the interview this morning on Seacrest’s L.A. radio show, Becks, 32, says that despite the honor of being admired by women the world over, it’s coming home to Posh, 33, and sons Brooklyn, 8, Romeo, 5, and Cruz, 2, that makes him happy.

“He added on the paparazzi: ‘It’s been pretty intense since we arrived…more than what we are used to. We’re used to being followed by four or five cars maybe, but to have forty seven cars in the first week, every day, following us, it was pretty insane.’”

[From the National Ledger]

That is pretty insane. As people that just look at the pictures, it’s hard to tell how much paparazzi there really are. Is it one lucky photographer, a huddle of 20, or fifty cars following you down the street? I can’t imagine living life under that kind of scrutiny. It would make everything you did feel kind of inauthentic, to have it all snapped by a bunch of strangers. It’d feel like you were always performing or something. Though for the insane money he makes, I think I’d handle it somehow. Probably by paying someone to go around and deflate the air from the all the paparazzi’s cars.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s David at his David Beckham Youth Soccer Clinic – August 17, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.