No your eyes are not messed up: you read that headline correctly. Of all the upsetting, horrendous things I’ve ever had to report, this may very well be the worst. Clay Aiken is going to be a father, according to Us Weekly and TMZ.

Idol Clay Aiken’s producer is pregnant with his child, TMZ.com reports.

Jaymes Foster (who is reportedly in her late 40s) was artificial inseminated with the 29-year-old singer’s sperm, according to the report.

Aiken lives with Foster – described as his “best friend” – when he’s in L.A. and plans to be involved with parenting their child, TMZ reports.

The crooner has consistently avoided questions about his sexuality.

“People don’t want to have that type of stuff pushed, people who are living in Omaha or in Charlotte or wherever,” Aiken told Access Hollywood last month.

“They don’t want stuff like that pushed in their face,” he added. “I don’t think that’s necessary and that’s also not what I’m here for. I mean, I went on Idol to be a singer, I went on Idol to be an entertainer and that’s what my priority is.”

[From Us Weekly]

This means that someone intentionally chose to have Clay Aiken’s DNA growing inside them. It wasn’t some drunken mistake (I realize that’s even less likely to happen with Clay Aiken, but you get the point). It was this conscious, thought-out plan. It means that Jaymes Foster looked around at the men in her life, and the VERY BEST CANDIDATE was Clay Aiken. Which makes me really judge the other men she knows.

According to TMZ, Foster is 50-years-old, the sister of record mogul David Foster, and has produced several of Clay’s albums. The way they phrased it is that “Clay is a lot more than sperm — we’re told he will have an active role in raising the child.” Considering the way Clay supposedly bosses everyone around and lectures people on manners, he’s going to be one uptight dad.

Clay is scheduled to perform on the Tonight Show this evening. Something tells me this won’t come up, but you never know.

Here’s Clay arriving at Planet Hollywood in Times Square to promote his role in Monty Python’s ‘Spamalot’ on April 8th. I don’t think that’s the actual cup he used, but no guarantees. Images thanks to WENN.

I love when good ‘ol Mom and Pop Lohan start bashing each other, because it’s guaranteed to be an orgy of hypocrisy. And who doesn’t relish that? The funkier looking Lohan’s (that’s Dina… it took me a while to decide who was funkier looking, but Dina’s mouth takes the cake) ass-tastic show Living Lohan premiered on E! last night.

And just because they like to stir the shit, OK Magazine thought it would be kind to give Michael Lohan a screener and ask for his thoughts. Now we know Michael is usually pretty reticent about judging and telling people how to live, since he’s an out and proud born-again Christian. But he made an exception for OK, and shared a few restrained opinions in an email with them.

Soooooo, you want a comment on the first episode of Living Lohan? Well, let’s see… If I were to look at things from a wordly perspective, I would probably have a lot to say about exploitation, hypocrisy and even deception — and maybe at a later date, I might just do so. For now, let’s just say I’m still trying to figure out if this show is about managing Ali’s career and being a “real” mother, or reading tabloids.

I’ve had a sneak peek at some future episodes and I will say that some of the people Dina surrounds the kids with still concerns me — again, I can address that when they appear on the show. I just hope Dina takes the high road — like a Lohan would — and rights these wrongs.

If this show is about the being a mother and a manager, the most important thing is to set a good example by instilling positive values, and doing what’s right for the kid’s sake. Not for our own! I wish Ali, Cody and Dina the best on the show and pray that they get what they want out of it.

[From OK Magazine]

I love all the “you suck, you’re terrible, you’re doing the wrong thing,” blah blah blahness, followed by, “I hope it makes you happy!” Because I’m totally sure Michael really does. Ending an otherwise critical email with a bland, generic catchall positive quote doesn’t exactly negate the other seven (really long) sentences.

Dina’s been out doing a ton of hypocritical press, so Michael’s thoughts on her aren’t exactly novel. If nothing else, Living Lohan is a great way to make sure that Dina never regains a shred of dignity or credibility, and ensures that her younger kids will never have successful careers of their own. But hey, Lindsay is doing so well, I’m sure they can all just live off her. Michael included, of course.

Micheal Lohan is shown on 3/6/08 “leaving the Lindsay Lohan Photo Exhibition inspired by her tattoos” thanks to WENN.

I’ve always said the hallmark of a truly great friend is when they hate the people you hate. Just because you hate them. It’s touching really. Similarly, the hallmark of a truly great parent or family member is when they threaten to kill whoever dates you. Okay reading over the previous sentences, I see that I might have some issues to deal with. Nonetheless, actor Terrence Howard admits he threatened to kill his young daughter’s boyfriend. And to me, that makes him a great dad right there.

Actor Terrence Howard has proved his credentials as the ultimate over-protective father - he threatened to kill his daughter Aubrey’s teenage boyfriend. The Iron Man star didn’t appreciate his 14-year-old daughter dating a classmate he disapproves of, and “intervened” by forcing her to ditch the unfavorable suitor.

He says, “She’s supposedly in love with some guy. I made her break up with him and I’ve threatened to kill him. I was like, ‘You picked a green fruit from the tree that’s far from ripe.’”

And Howard ensures he keeps a tight-leash on his beloved kids - warning Aubrey she will be cut out of any future inheritance if she is not “obedient”. He tells his daughter, “I’ve set a lot of things aside for you, but those things are only yours as long as you’re obedient to me.” However, the actor has put a crafty plan into action to make sure the teenager doesn’t fall back into her unsuitable relationship.

He adds, “She’s OK now. Though, I’m sure he’s still kind of her boyfriend. This summer I’ll take her off to another country where her phone won’t work, and he’ll start dating someone else.”

[From Hip Hop Elements]

That’s a smart dad right there. It seems pretty rare that you hear about over-protective parents anymore. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but it makes me happy to hear that some dads are still involved in their daughters’ lives, and care enough to threaten the crap out of some boy. Isn’t that a rite of passage for everyone? I honestly believe one of the reasons my dad sucks is that he never threatened anyone on my behalf. After I broke up with a guy I’d been with for two and a half years, my mom told me my dad thought the guy had the personality of a serial killer. Where was my beat down?

I’m guessing that Aubrey Howard was/is pretty pissed at her dad. That’s another important rite of passage. But how many kids parents are in a position to take them to some far-flung locale to get them away from a guy? And then get rewarded for good behavior with all the money their dad has “set aside” for them? Bribery. Also a good parenting tactic.

Here’s Terrence Howard at the Los Angeles Premiere of ‘Iron Man’ at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre on April 30th. Images thanks to WENN.

According to Star magazine, Nicole Richie’s life is getting REALLY hard to balance. Before daughter Harlow was born, all Nicole had to balance was shopping and partying. I’m not being sarcastic, according to the mag, that really was about all she did. I guess she occasionally dodged Paris Hilton and randomly recorded a terrible pop song here and there, but that was about it. Now Nicole has a baby – but she still wants to have her old life too. And no matter where she is or what she’s doing, she feels like she should be doing something else. The life of a socialite is sooooooo hard.

Though she says life’s been “beyond amazing” since giving birth to her daughter in January, the diaper-duty demands of motherhood leave Nicole Richie pining for her old party days, according to Star magazine.

“Nicole is torn between being a mommy and being a party girl,” an insider told the publication. “She wants to go out and have fun, but when she does, she’s like, ‘Uh-oh, Harlow needs me.’”

The dramatic lifestyle change is catching to the new mom, said another source. “Nicole really misses her carefree life. Before Harlow came along, Nicole never had to worry about anything. All she did was party with her friends and go shopping. Now she’s totally overwhelmed by her new responsibility, even though she adores her daughter. Nicole still can’t figure out if she’s happier when she’s home with the baby or hitting the town with her friends!”

[From MSNBC]

Okay sarcasm aside, being a new mom is obviously incredibly overwhelming. I doubt anyone thinks, “Wow, I am really kicking ass at this.” But complaining because you have to stay home with your kid instead of going shopping and partying makes it pretty hard to be sympathetic. It doesn’t matter if Nicole can’t “figure out if she’s happier when she’s home with the baby or hitting the town with her friends!” (by the way, that quote makes me ill). When you’re debating over spending every night club hopping or staying home and taking care of your new baby now and then, there’s no debate. It isn’t about figuring out which one is more fun.

Every parent needs some time away, and deserves to go out and have some fun. But it needs to be a rational amount. Nicole is “totally overwhelmed by her new responsibility” because she’s never had any responsibilities before. So of course she doesn’t know how to handle it. If you haven’t learned how to juggle the different commitments in your life, it’s going to be hard to figure out how to prioritize. Now would be a great to figure that out.

Here’s Nicole Richie and Joel Madden outside their shop DCMA on Melrose Avenue on April 29th. Images thanks to WENN.

It doesn’t exactly come as a big surprise that Lindsay Lohan’s reconciliation with her nutball father Michael didn’t last long. Even with the overabundance of issues Lindsay has, her father’s always worse. This past Wednesday Michael blabbed to anyone that would listen saying that Lindsay was going on a mission with his church. Lohan’s PR rep quickly denied the story – not that Michael had said it, but that Lindsay was going. Lindsay’s finally had enough, and told Billy Bush this morning that she is sick of her dad making things up and talking to the press.

“I just wish that he wouldn’t go and talk to the media,” she said Friday on radio’s The Billy Bush Show. “It’s not attractive to me, it really upsets me and I wish he would stop. … I love my father. I just don’t know why he’s doing what he’s doing. It’s a weird situation, very odd.”

[From People]

Michael, being a grownup and a good parent, immediately phoned Ben Widdicombe at the New York Daily News to fire back. And it’s pretty clear that Lindsay never said she’d go on a mission – just that Michael thinks she should.

Michael Lohan has come out swinging against his daughter Lindsay’s management. On Wednesday we told you that Michael had spoken about doing missionary work in India with Lindsay, although her rep had denied she planned to make such a trip. This annoyed the heck out of Dad.

“I think we can all see that her present so-called friends and management have her focused on the wrong projects and things,” he told me. “If Lindsay would just listen to me and follow my guidance, like she did when her life was on the right path, and before the people you see now that are in her life, I guarantee that her life would straighten out and she’d be back to being the gifted actress everyone knew and loved.”

[From the New York Daily News]

Michael seems to have a real problem with the fact that he can’t control his daughter’s life anymore. And he seems to think that he can force her to do things by telling the media about it. Lindsay is an adult, and as messed-up as she sometimes seems, it’s also pretty clear that she’s better off without either of her crazy parents. Some parents have a real problem accepting that they can no longer control their children as adults. Michael is resorting to classic desperate manipulation – he’s just doing it via the press.

Rarely do I support Lindsay Lohan, but in this case I hope she tells her dad to take a flying leap. His whole “born again” Christian routine is so see through. Everyone can tell he’s just doing it for show and to get attention. If he weren’t, we wouldn’t know so much about every detail of his life and his so-called “spirituality.” If making an ass out of yourself and trying to profit off your daughter’s issues were a religion, Michael Lohan would be the Pope.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson having a laugh- and Lindsay holding a suspicious bottle - as they get in a car after leaving Foxtail restaurant on Thursday. Images thanks to WENN.

Kanye West used to have the reputation of being quite the diva. I have no idea what the male term for diva is. Divo? Let’s go with that. Kanye was notorious for his hissy fits when he didn’t win awards – often overtaking the stage and ranting to camera crews about how amazing his work was. His sense of entitlement was a pretty big turnoff, but it seems that we may have a gentler, kinder, more humble Kanye from now on. West says his mother’s death in November changed him, and his outlook on life is completely different now.

Rapper Kanye West says he’s been putting his priorities in place since his mother’s death. “If there’s anything my mom taught me [it] is to enjoy life,” West, 30, wrote on his blog on Wednesday. “I don’t do anything I don’t love anymore … While people chase money I pursue happiness.”

West’s mother died of heart disease and other factors Nov. 10th – one day after undergoing cosmetic surgery. The rapper paid tribute to his mom at this year’s Grammy Awards. On his blog, the multiple Grammy winner also wrote about the joys of making new music and recording “my first verse in the last six months” two days earlier in Japan.

“It felt good and I was inspired … tragedy can produce great art and this is definitely true … life is good … good as finding the perfect fabric for a simple one button casual blazer with matching pants.”

[From People]

The clothing analogy is a little unexpected, but whatever works for you. I was hoping there’d be a little something in there about not getting your boxers in a twist every time something doesn’t go your way, but I’ll take what I can get from Kanye. Losing a parent makes you really reflect on not just your life but life in general. Kanye’s right, tragedy can produce great art, and hopefully he’ll come back with his best work yet.

Here’s Kanye and fiancée Alexis Phifer at Paris Fashion Week on February 29th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

It seems that Matthew McConaughey has his life all planned out – the important parts at least. Though he’s made it clear he has no plans to drop the nude bongo drum sessions, he seems to have settled down in preparation of impending fatherhood with his girlfriend, Brazilian model Camila Alves. Not that I’m judging on the bongos, mind you. Matthew gave a pretty interesting and revealing interview to the Daily Mail, in which he talked about his parents’ marriage (they broke up and remarried each other THREE times), how he wants to die, why he’ll be a great dad, and what he’d like to come back as in his next life.

My father died right after making love to his wife, and I can’t think of a better way to go. My dad always said to me, “Boy, when I get out of here, I betcha I’ll be making love to your mother.” I hope my own death is way down the line, but when it happens, that’s my preferred exit strategy. But let’s not rush it, eh?

My parents married each other twice and divorced three times. I’ve no plans to repeat the experiment – in relationships, I prefer the long, slow train ride to the rollercoaster. I don’t think my folks wanted the rollercoaster either: they were simply the classic example of, “Can’t live with you, can’t live without you”. They hated the breaking up, but they really loved the getting back together, as they could enjoy the courtship all over again. I love that courtship period as much as anyone. I never want it to end. I never want to feel like the girl has me in the palm of her hand.

I’ve been preparing for fatherhood since the age of ten. Bringing a baby into the world is something I’ve always wanted and now I’m completely ready for my life to start revolving around another human being. I carefully maintain relationships and friendships. I’m committed to my acting career. But to be the architect of a little creature’s life is my next big adventure and I can’t wait for it to begin.

[From the Daily Mail]

And if you were sitting around, aching to know what animal Matthew plans to come back as in his next life – it’s a panther. He says they’re “the coolest animals in the world.” He noted that they’re very poised, and mentioned, “I’d sure love to be that well designed.” I don’t want to argue with someone so freakishly hot, but I’d bet that a lot of people would argue that he’s about as well designed as a human physically can be. It’s very cute that Matthew says he’s been training to be a dad since he was ten. He has a cute way of speaking. Never have I thought of a father as being the “architect of a little creature’s life,” but it’s absolutely true. Though he’s known for being incredibly laid back – he mentioned in the interview that he’d played the bongos naked at least five hundred times before he was caught, and had no plans to tone it down – he seems like he’ll be a really good dad. He doesn’t seem the type to set up arbitrary rules just to assert his power, but also appears to be the kind of guy that’ll step in when he needs to.

Here’s Matthew and Camila at the “Fools Gold” world premiere on January 30th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Those Osbournes never know when to keep their opinions to themselves. Actually I don’t think they’ve ever even heard of the concept. But once in a while one of them makes a surprisingly good point, which hallways throws me a bit. Kelly Osbourne has come under fire for criticizing the Spice Girls for bringing their young children on stage during their performances on their recent tour. And she actually makes a bit of a good point.

Kelly Osbourne has lashed out at the Spice Girls for showing off their kids onstage. The outspoken reality TV star, whose own mother and father Sharon and Ozzy have often come under fire for their parenting skills, has offered her own family tips.

The 23-year-old admits she admires Gwyneth Paltrow’s celebrity parenting, but the Spice Girls are at the bottom of her list. She explains, “I respect Gwyneth Paltrow because she covers her babies’ faces - she never lets the paparazzi get that picture.

“I’m not going to put the Spice Girls down, but they took their kids on stage at every single show of that last tour of theirs. To be a child of three and have 25,000 girls screaming at you - I don’t think that’s necessarily good.”

[From Hollywood.TV]

Kelly actually makes a decent point, and she says it in a fair way. She’s certainly not “lashing out.” While I’m not really a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow covering her kids faces – I’m afraid that might give them some kind of weird shame complex – I could see how the Spice Girls bringing their kids on stage every night could be seen as a little exploitative. While it made news everywhere that three-year-old Cruz Beckham had some major break dancing skills, bringing the kids on every night to perform might have been a bit much. On the one hand it’s cute to watch, but on the other I couldn’t help but feel it was a little put on. Both Melanie Brown and Geri Halliwell brought their babies onstage as well. From other videos it appears that the kids are wearing earphones to block out the screams, which is good and shows their parents are taking their health into consideration. But it somehow seems like they’re trying to profit off their kids. Hopefully they all enjoy it and are having a good time, but I think in this one instance, Kelly Osbourne actually makes a good point. Now let’s see if she has anything to say about her own parents’ not-so-great decisions.

Here’s Kelly Osbourne alone with her family at the Birt Awards on February 20th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

“Punky Brewster” and “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” star Soleil Moon Frye has delivered a baby girl. It’s the second daughter for the actress with her husband, Jason Goldberg. The couple have an older daughter named Poet Sienna Rose.

Former Punky Brewster star Soleil Moon Frye and her husband, Jason Goldberg, have welcomed their second child, a girl, the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg was born Monday in Los Angeles and weighed 8 lbs., 6 oz. The couple also have a 2-year-old daughter, Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg.

“Soleil had a wonderful experience, and both she and the baby are doing great,” says the rep.

Frye, 31, and Goldberg, 36, the producer of MTV’s Punk’d, married in 1998 in Los Angeles. Last October, Frye, along with partners Paige Tolmach and Beth Birkett, opened the eco-friendly baby boutique The Little Seed in Los Angeles.

Frye told PEOPLE last fall that her daughter Poet was already bonding with the new baby. “She talks to the belly all the time and tells the baby she loves it,” Frye said.

[From People]

No word on whether Soleil had actress Demi Moore in the delivery room as she did when giving birth to her fist child. Last December, Soleil said that Demi was her birthing coach and was very comforting during the labor and delivery. Congratulations to the couple, and I hope they can get some sleep! I remember those days of having a newborn and a toddler in the house. It is not easy.

Soleil Moon Frye and her husband Jason Goldberg are shown at the Environmental Media Awards on 10/24/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Actor James McAvoy has been notoriously tight-lipped when asked about his family. The actor, 29, has garnered a lot of attention lately for his starring role alongside Keira Knightley in “Atonement,” for which he won a BAFTA. He’s also gotten a lot of press for his low-key lifestyle - he and his wife, actress Anne-Marie Duff, 38, live in an apartment they bought several years ago for 178,000 (about $346,000 USD), share a ten-year-old Nissan Micra that’s worth less than $2,000, and admit to rarely leaving their apartment. James has actually said that he purposely tries to avoid “celebrity bullshit,” and I can think of few actors who’ve stuck to an ideal so thoroughly. Even Matthew McConaughey eventually gave up his Airstream trailer – but McAvoy has adamantly stuck to his beliefs. The Daily Mail has written a surprisingly thorough article on McAvoy, in which they hypothesize that the reason he lives such a low-key existence is that he doesn’t want to draw a lot of attention to his family.

After McAvoy won his BAFTA, he thanked his mother, grandparents (who raised him), and wife, yet made no mention of his father or half-brother. It turns out that James has not spoken to his dad, James McAvoy Sr, in 21 years. His parents divorced when he was seven, and his father, who works as a roofer - claims that that eight-year-old James pulled away from him after he started seeing another woman.

“Our son took it hard,” says McAvoy Snr. “He just wasn’t the carefree little boy he’d been before.” At first, father and son continued their relationship, with James Snr taking his son swimming or to watch Celtic football team. But when a year later James Snr moved in with a new lover, Mary McKinnon, the eight-year-old McAvoy refused to have anything to do with his father.

“I think James still had hopes of me and his mum sorting things out,” claims McAvoy Snr. “He started refusing to see me because he didn’t like Mary. In the end I took a step back rather than upset him.”

The young McAvoy demonstrated his steely nature when a few years later he was larking around in the playground of the St Thomas Aquinas secondary school in Drumchapel and spotted his father working on the school roof. “James just looked away without saying a word,” recalls his father sadly.

[From the Daily Mail]

That appears to be their last encounter. James has a half-brother named Donald from his father’s relationship with the aforementioned woman. Donald was recently sent to jail after stabbing a man eight times.

To understand the extent of his transformation, perhaps we should look at McAvoy’s 18-year-old half-brother Donald, currently languishing in Polmont Young Offenders’ Institution near Falkirk. Donald - James Snr’s son from his now-ended relationship with his lover Mary - has never met James the actor.

But no one could blame the star for distancing himself from his violent, alcoholic brother. Just a fortnight ago, Donald was sent to Polmont for stabbing a man eight times and, in a separate incident, threatening a 14-year-old with a hammer.

James Snr, who lives in a dingy first-floor flat, sighs: “I am standing by one son who’s a maniac, but can’t stand by my other son, who has done so well.” According to Mr McAvoy, Donald’s problem stems from his penchant for alcohol: “He’s a polite boy who doesn’t cause trouble until he has been drinking.”

[From the Daily Mail]

It sounds like James McAvoy (Jr) isn’t so much distancing himself from the unsavory side of his family - he simply has no relationship with them and never has. He’s not under some obligation to acknowledge them now that he’s doing well. They haven’t been a part of each other’s lives for a long time – and in the case of his half-brother, they’ve never even met. James himself has admitted to struggling with alcohol, and credits his wife with helping him straighten out his life, noting in his BAFTA acceptance speech, “she taught me to respect life.” Having no relationship with his father is sad, but his dad doesn’t say anything that implies he tried to reconnect with his son before he was famous – he even said he “took a step back” from their relationship rather than upset James, which makes no sense to me. McAvoy clearly has a lot of talent and a great head on his shoulders, and has made a lot of his life already. His family history is sad, but it explains why he doesn’t want to talk about them and has insisted on moving forward.

Here’s James McAvoy at the 2008 Wonder Con in San Francisco on February 22nd. Images thanks to PR Photos.